hi.hi.hi I’m here. I was at the MUSE concert last night so blogging took a backseat and I asked Billy Blanks to take the wheel. Kind of like how Carrie Underwood asks Jesus. So here we are with DAY 2 OF TOILET PICTURES AND CONTESTS FOR STARS AND RAINBOWS.
I realized that I should clarify what’s going on here for the new modg-ettes. So… everyone that reads this blog is a creep. They love to look at stuff on toilets. (i know…) So I devised a contest for readers to send in picture of their toilets with their shit all over it. Not literal shit. We’re not that creepy. Each day we’re voting for our favorite toilet and then we’ll have the toilet finals and THEN America’s favorite toilet. Dying?
In unrelated toilet news, I have a big MODG announcement tomorrow. MAKE SURE YOU READ TOMORROW’S POST IF YOU EVER WANT TO READ MODG AGAIN. Hoping that you do. Great. On with the toilets.
Drunk and Fat Skinny Asian Toilet
By, Raising Colorado
I know you are all fat prejudice, so I’m going to tell you that I know this toilet owner, and she is not fat. Let’s get that out there. K? Cool. But let’s not pretend, this is an EATERS toilet if I’ve ever saw one (and I have). Any good eater knows the basis of all eating is bacon. Duh everywhere. Throw in some Miller Lite for health reasons (the vegetable of beers), ice cream and slim fast for when you hate yourself late at night and you are a serious winner. Oh. and this ALL has an Asian Flare for BEING ASIAN 2010! (my goal). Also there is a small man guarding it all for security. I know I would too if bacon was on my toilet.
An Obvious Threat Indirectly to Me Toilet
This toilet person does not play. She’s all, Suri thinks she is running this baby show? I got news for her. She’s in for a world of pain when she sees this fashion fetus I’m brewing in my belly (THIS IS THE TOILET OWNER SPEAKING, NOT ME YOU BABY BUMP STALKERS). Just so you all know, I ran this by Suri. Suri was all, bitch please. Katie tried to give me a giraffe once, in Africa, in the jungle, because it was a REAL LIVE GIRAFFE. Oh Suri….However, I will say that as an adult baby, I would really like that sweater. It’s a good color for me.
(Possibly racist?) Snob Dog on a Toilet
This toilet says so much while saying so little. You know this dog is one snobby ass white bitch. It’s all, color? Color is for children who live in a trailer park and play with crayola and the like. WHITE WHITE WHITE. I holiday in the hamptons, where I attended Diddy’s white party and sipped chardonnay with Diane Keaton. It was a dry heat that year. White is where it.is.at. WHITE POWER. (just kidding…maybe)
*UPDATE you bitches, her tiles are brown. Like the color brown, not dirty. She is not spreading shit around on her floor. She is a nice person who cleans. Moving on.
LOOK AT ME CAT I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF THIS SHIT
So those dinosaurs are all, look at me! I’m famous! I’m on the internet! I have candy and a strange fame! HOORAY FOR DINOSAURS. But much to their surprise a monster cat hovers above them ready to take their shit OUT. The cat is all, this is not your show, I live here and I have sparkle hats and ears and if you think you are ruining my one chance for internet fame, you have another think coming in your broke ass extinct brains. *The green tape worm concerns me* Bets are on the cat.
A baby with a toilet fetish
I don’t know a lot about babies, but I don’t think this one is ready to balance itself 3 feet up on a toilet. But I really do enjoy the 3 fingers there, on the edge, ready to go. Maybe the baby is a girl scout? That’s their thing right? But I will say this baby LOVES THE TOILET. Much like her idol, MODG. So point for stuff in common. But this baby is throwing it in our faces that she is spoiled. Paris Hilton did this once on 20/20 and the public was not pleased. Maybe she should have checked with her PR people first? Regardless, I like this spoiled diamond baby. I think we’ll be friends.
Ok America. You have 5 awesome toilets to choose from this week. Voting will end 12pm tomorrow eastern. Remember, the winner after the finals gets a toilet badge! I mean, come on….that’s best ever.
Vote in the comments for your toilet heart. And remember to come back for the monster MODG announcement tomorrow.
hi.hi.hi I’m here. I was at the MUSE concert last night so blogging took a backseat and I asked…