Hi ho boats. I’m in a mood today. It’s snowing AGAIN and I want to choke all the snow and then kick it in it’s soft places. So as a result of my mood, Confessions are more exclusive today because less things in general took the ice out of my heart. With that being said. I really like the 5 featured confessions for this day. My notes are in orange.
*Remember to send me your toilet pics to modgblog at gmail dot com before Sunday (the old email address is fine too). I’m looking for ultimate creativity and weirdity. Think outside of the pot. I’m still not really sure what I’m doing with them exactly, but it will be mind blowing regardless. B says I can not wallpaper our bathroom with them, which was my first choice.
Ok rules:
Read the confessions below (my sparkle stars for the week)
Point and laugh
Confess in the comments
Check back next week to see if you are my newest sparkle star next week
That’s all. Dig it.
Douche Vagina Prankster Confession Rach said… When I moved into the dorm for my freshman year of college, there was a shoebox-size package on everyone’s bed from the small-town Welcome Wagon, full of coupons and takeout menus and free samples. Everyone got the same coupons and menus, but the freebies were gender-specific (yes I definitely remember pads in mine. My jesus roommate loved it). I don’t know what the guys got, but the girls got tampons, disposable razors… and travel-size Summer’s Eve (SO odd and gross. No smelly vag at your college allowed). The guys on the floor directly below me started up a prank war that started out small but escalated when they balanced a giant trash can full of water against my door, knocked and ran, so that when I opened the door, our whole room was flooded. So one of my girlfriends and I rounded up all the Summer’s Eve samples and filled two giant SuperSoakers with the… LIQUID, and then conducted a late-night raid on the two guys responsible for the Great Flood of ’96 (genius genius idea. please be my friend) *knock* *door opens* *screaming “vinaigrette” assault* Epic win!!
Rude Private Parts Confession Nikolett said… My poo-related confession is that almost every time after I take a shower and clean my bum-oley (your WHAT?), I almost immediately have to poop. It’s like my ass is playing a joke with me: “Ohh, you thought I’d be all squeaky clean, but here I am to ruin it all for you!” (you have an evil asshole. sorry for you)
Opened My Eyes to More Weird in the World Confession Moomby said… i’m oddly fascinated with cysts and on multiple occasions (like tonight for example), I’ve opted out of dates, girls night outs, even whole nights of sleep in favor of watching popping cysts on youtube. (Um, WHAT?!)
Suppressing Crazy Mental Issues Confession I’m Jane said… I’m certain that this phenomenon has only affected a very small percentage of the population. I get the farts in the greeting card section of drugstores. Every time. Without fail. I’ll be looking for some nice greeting card to buy to tell my mom I’m thinking of her or send birthday wishes to my niece…and I feel it drop. And then the critical decision…do you fart and and run? It’s a constant dilemma. I inevitably drop the bomb and run, hoping the people nearby blame each other (the blonde girl in the cute shoes couldn’t POSSIBLY be responsible for this horror)…kinda a drive-by farting. I’ve taken up sending e-cards for obvious reasons. (Everytime I get an e-card, I’m all “what a lazy person”. Now my mind is opened to new reasons why people send e cards. Thank you.)
This week’s winner is more of a very funny story that gives me a peak into someone’s ruthless stubborn behavior, which I admire and respect. Also she says chicken bones like 8 times which is funny on it’s own. Good work Melanie.
CONFESSION PRINCESS Melanie said.. My mom had picked up one of those pre-made chickens that were all the rage at the time (I think I missed that time??), and my younger sister/arch enemy grabbed a plate of it and headed up to my bedroom to eat it where she could watch the old Melrose Place comfortably. When she was finished, she rudely left the plate of discarded chicken bones on MY bed and headed out with her boyfriend. Did I mention I was a vegetarian for 11 years, including at this point in time? Oh, I was. When I got home I discovered the plate of bones and brought it downstairs to her bed and tossed it, crumbs flying off the plate and onto her pillow (throwing bones in general is smart and awesome). She returned the favor, and I returned it back a few more times (like the same old bones?) until one day when I was in the shower. I heard her shrieking something and then the bathroom went dark. All of a sudden the door flies open and I feel something landing on my head and then hear her taking off out of the room. I shake off and get out of the shower to turn the light back on and discover that she had thrown the chicken bones over the shower wall and onto me, the floor, the shower caddy, etc. I was not going to be outdone, so I laughed, tossed the bones aside, finished my shower and left the bones there. For months. Neither of us would break, and my other poor sister had to also share the bony shower so as to not get involved in our issues (poor other sister in the bony shower), until one day when she got a wild hair and cleaned the whole bathroom – including the shower and old bones that were now showered clean. We still fondly refer to this as the Chicken Bones in the Shower incident and use it as fuel against one another when we are debating who is righter or stronger. I’m not sure who won, but I’m pretty sure who lost.
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
