Stuff on a toilet

I have good friends. Real ones that don’t just live on the internet. Internet people are good too. Usually. But these people I’ve actually seen and touched. Well, not like really touched. I don’t like to touch or be touched. Ask B. He’s thrilled with that.

But my good friends are throwing me a Sprinkle. I like to call it Mah Sprankle. Do you know what a Sprankle is? It’s a little baby shower. Get it? Just a sprinkle. Yeah, I thought it was a sex thing too at first. Like that one pee episode of Sex and the City. It’s not.

I am usually very uncomfortable with parties in my honor. I have been known to find out about surprise parties and cancel them. I just feel strange with all these people there just for me. Like I should do a tap solo or something to express my gratitude. (which 6 years at Knecht Dance Acadamy could definitely allow). I know, from someone who thrives on internet attention, you’d think I’d be all over parties about me. These are the things that therapy is for.

But I am super happy and grateful to my friends for throwing Mah Sprankle. And of course, there is a fashion dilemma. Of course it’s all about renting dresses. But this time THIS TIME I have something new to present to you and you are going to shit yourself over it.

I don’t get any referral fee or points for this, which is balls because you pregs are going to be all over it. But first you help me pick a dress and then I’ll give up the info. See how that works? That’s because we’re FRIENDS.

Ok we’re choosing between 4 dresses today. Keep the following in mind:

  • Shoes and accessories are all subject to change
  • I will be a full 8 months preg at Mah Sprankle (I am 7 in these pictures)
  • Mah Sprankle is fairly casual. So regardless I’m prob going to be overdressed. Whatever. Here we go
  • Getting up onto this toilet, this preg, was no joke. It won’t be a happening again for a long LONG time.

 

 

 

Couple notes: I’m super afraid that I’m still going to blow up in the face and body like Bethenny did when she was preg like a month before her baby was born. It’s a REAL possibility. I met Bethenny, I was that skinny in 4th grade and never again.

I have my 2 faves but of course I asked most of my friends and got a different answer from everyone. So I need some internet consensus.

Tell me your fave and how you would accessorize it. Statement necklace? Big earrings? Leopard shoes? Fascinator and whip? Also tell me if I should really trust you. Like go ahead and tell me that you are a stylist for Rachel Bilson so I take your comment seriously. You can also tell me if you have daughters named Honey Boo Boo and Pumpkan and don’t know much ’bout no clothes.

NOW for the goods.

The website is called Mine For Nine All of these dresses are rented for like 20 bucks. AND AND AND I get them for a month! AND AND AND I can send back any that I don’t want within 3 days for a full refund. FULL REFUND. This is amazing. The dresses are all great quality. The red and the gray are Isabella Oliver which is like fancy shmancy preg wear that only famies would ever actually buy.

Yes I love renting clothes. RENTS FOR LIFE.

now make with the advice.

xoxo

your favorite preg.

ok…prob like your 3rd favorite preg.

MODG

POSTED IN: Awesome things,Preg Stuff,Stuff I like,Stuff on a toilet,Style

311 of you voted on facebook to decide what I should wear to a baby shower today. THREE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN. People like to tell other people what to do. Fact. It’s ok because I need the help.

And after a landslide, you all decided on option B. Good choice.

So because the internet told me to, I wore option B. Option A was a little too power slut. You were right. Also, my Spanx are working overtime here.

And now I’m going to tell you my secret about these dresses. And I don’t wanna tell you. But I’m gonna tell you. Right after I never say wanna or gonna again. Slap to my own face.

My secret is where I acquired these dresses. And how I acquired them on like no money. And also why I am determined to pretend that it’s still 1956 (wardrobe style… minus racism and tv dinners).

Loyal readers may remember that when I was pregnant I had a wedding to go to and had to get a dress that fit the bump, that I’d probably never wear ever again. Well my experience with Rent the Runway was SO good that I kept using them. Over and Over and OVER. So yes, these dresses are rented and they are the best thing on earth.

In the past year, for every shower, party or anything that didn’t involve baby puke, I rented a dress. And it wasn’t really because I had to, it was because I never ever got to dress up anymore and let’s be honest, I didn’t have the money to buy new dresses. So I got just as much satisfaction from renting dresses.

For those of you not in the know, Rent the Runway is maybe the best internet invention since britney dance videos on you tube. I can’t tell you how many dresses I’ve bought for events that I wore once. Super dumb. With RTR, you pick a dress, pay usually about 50 bucks and get 2 sizes in the dress. If you want to go wild, get a 2nd option for 25 dollars more. You get the dresses for 4 days. They send you prepaid shipping envelopes to send them back. You drop it in a mailbox and you are on your way. And just like magic, everyone things you are a super fancy dress star. And the dresses are awesome. Like really nice things that I could never afford in real life.

So yes, both of these dresses showed up to my house on Saturday morning and I was just as excited as if I bought them myself. I did a mini toilet photoshoot, shared the pics with 4,000 of you on facebook and I’m ready to go. And guess what? Even the necklace is rented. I know I’m so damn lazy. I wish I could take credit for all of that. But I can’t.

See here

And now here is the 2nd part of this secret. I didn’t even pay the rental fee. *You* did. It’s ok, stop cancelling your credit cards. So many of you signed up and gave me referral credit the first time around, which allowed me to wear cute dresses this year. So thank you for that. It’s times like this when I’m happy to be a blogger. Also the WANA stuff. But also the free dress stuff.

So, if you’ve enjoyed my toilet dresses and you’ve enjoyed my honesty and you enjoy helping out internet friends, I encourage you to sign up for Rent the Runway and help me to continue to spread the word about things like cloth diapers, butt nuts and cheap dresses. B thanks you and so does our bank account.

Happy baby shower Box.

xoxo

Your smartest most stylish box friend,

MODG

I LOVE RENT THE RUNWAY.

 

What do you think…did I make the right choice? Did you vote? Some of you voted for A. Do you like power sluts? (me too)

POSTED IN: Awesome things,Stuff I like,Stuff on a toilet,Style

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