Nursery

Thank you all for your positive stories and advice. I have to admit I’m an emotional mess. I called B this morning at work crying…

Me: I c c c aaan’t have an o o other c c c c sectio o o o n

It’s so hard to stay positive right now. But I’m doing the best I can. So to take our minds off of my vagina and onto bigger and better things, let’s do some big boy room shit. By the way STILL NO SUN. I had like 30 seconds of sun today and I RAN to the room with my camera and the sky was like GOT YOU. It just wanted to see a 39 week pregnant woman run.

So we’re going with what we have because I’m ovah it.

First let’s credit the uber talented, fabulous and foul mouthed MFAMB. If you don’t read her blog, you are foolish. Really. Here’s how it went down every day. She would give me ideas and I’d be like I NEED MORE SPECIFIC INFORMATION. I need you to tell me exactly where to put that frame and where to put the books that go in the box because my brain doesn’t work anymore. And she would. And not call me a nut job. She does this service for people in the world. She is fabulous.

We started with this inspiration, put together by MFAMB:

 

I loved it and wanted it exactly like this. That didn’t completely happen for reasons which I will explain. But the inspiration to start was great.

Here is the before picture of the room. Our old guest room:

And now the after

BIG BOY ROOM! You’ll see I committed the #1 design crime: ceiling fan. I apologize to the design world but it’s hot. We need a fan. Deal.

 Yep, it’s a lot of orange. That table is fluorescent orange and in the West Elm picture it is the color of sand. Tricky West Elm. Tricky.

I think my favorite element is tied between the awesome vintage dresser find on Craigslist for 60 bucks and the blow up of G picking his nose. Equally great.

All the chachkies we had or were toys that G didn’t play with anymore because they don’t scream songs and light up your face. Of course NOW he wants to play with them. Sorry kid. Sacrifice to the design gods.

Photograph by yours truly. My talents know no bounds.

You’ll see that there are GASP markers and paint in these tins. This is something we call “styling” a picture. Because the second these pictures are over, that shit comes out. I’m no fool, a 2 year old can’t be trusted. Toys and cars will go in them until he can act right.

B built these after only 3 fights and 1 crying session. Win.

That picture is the day B and I first met. And that equation below it is real math.

Chach.

Books chosen from our house on purpose.

The art is all done by a great friend of ours which I’ll tell you all about

Obv a deer head.

Kids are really the only ones that get tons of pictures of themselves in their own room. I asked B, I can’t do this is my room.

See what happened here?

And there you have it. A complete big boy room. This process started in April and finished TODAY. That is 8 months friends. And I say this because this wasn’t all bought at once and definitely not accomplished all at once with a 2 year old in the house. This was blood sweat and vomit. But I do really have to credit all of the work to B and all of the design to MFAMB. I did nothing. Thank god for that.

Now what you really want. The source list.

Bed: Amazon

Blue zig zag quilt: PB Teen

Stars sheets:  Company Store

Fluffy Pillow: West Elm

Orange quilt:Land of Nod

Table and chairs: West Elm

Tins and wire picture hanger: Ikea

Curtain fabric: Spoonflower

Toy bins: Container Store

Rug: Urban Outfitters

Nightstand: Ikea (expedit single cube)

Nightstand light:Ikea

Ceiling fan: Lowes

Hanging rockets: Land of Nod

Bob Dylan art: Concepcion Designs (a very good friend of ours and insanely talented)

Robot print: All Posters

Rocket Print: All Posters

Dresser: Craigslist bitches!

2 white lamps: Lamps Plus

blue guitar: Amazon

Orange clock: Urban Outfitters (sold out)

deer head: Urban Outfitters

If there is something you see that isn’t on this list it’s because we already owned it. This was work to put together my friends. To thank me, please go visit MFAMB and have her design a room for you. Or have her paint a picture for you. Or have her scour your local craigslist for you for awesome shit OR have her recap American Horror Story for you with MS Paint drawings. Because she does all of that. And she is in commercials. Really.

I hope you like the room as much as we do. No, G isn’t in it yet. We wanted to have it ready for him to get used to before switching him. It will be a few months. So if you want to rent it out for the night, it’s 700 a night.

I take paypal.

xoxo

MODG

______________________

Sponsor shout out to Vaccishield. Awesome product that I give to G before his vaccines to make reactions less severe. Packed with vitamins, totally natural and just a powder that looks like cocaine. It’s not. You sprinkle it in their food and magic health fairies arrive. Check them out. I highly recommend. She is giving 15% off with the code MODG at checkout. Woohoo!

POSTED IN: Awesome things,Mom Stuff,Nursery,Preg Stuff,Style

I feel like every list should include one bullet point on not getting murdered. It’s just good information overall.

Craigslist is amazing. You can find really great shit but it’s a GD pain in the ass. Seriously. The internet has been around longer than Britney Spears and we’re still looking at regular word links without pictures? No. There are better ways. You need to be smarter than everyone else to 1) get the best shit for cheap and 2) not get murdered** (see footnote)

I have had some good success with furniture. This is 30% because I like cool furniture but 70% because we can’t afford to go to a fancy store and buy new stuff. When we moved into our house we literally had nothing. I still have some 1950′s chairs with fabric stapled to them. Cool chairs, lazy reupholstering. But with a little patience and 1.99, you too can be the Mastah of the List.

bought for 60 dollars and completely refinished and repaired by B. It was a ton of work but totally worth it (as I say that and did none of the work)

Bought for 70 dollars and totally refinished already. I thought about changing it, but I like it raw. That’s what she said.

 

So right now I’m doing G’s big boy room with 110% help from MFAMB. I don’t have the time or energy to do this shit myself anymore and she is a genius who isn’t appreciated enough in her own time. She also says fuck and balls a lot. About furniture. So we work. Don’t get too excited, this is not a reveal yet. But I do need to give her credit. She is the current Mastah of the List. I recommend you read up on her methods too.

11 Steps to become MASTAH OF THE LIST:

1) The App

Right now, stop what you are doing and download Ultimate Craigslist to your phone. It’s an app. It’s like 2 dollars I think. Spring for the non-free one.  I saw an email come in to me from MFAMB about some stuff I needed to check out and at the bottom it said “sent from Ultimate Craigslist”. I downloaded that shit immed and was super happy that I did. It allows you to search multiple cities, with price restriction and your search results include pictures, a brief description and the ability to email the post and email the seller from the app. Craig needs to get on his shit because this app makes the regular list on the dot com site a poop on the floor. PS. G’s new favorite word is dotcom.

1a) The site

If you want to use an old school computer, try Spotli. It’s a search of CL with pictures. I am hesitant to tell you this though because as soon as these sites come out, that old ass Craig finds out and sues them. But it’s good. Use it while it lasts.

2) Searching. Come correct. And think like a grandma.

When you search, know what you want. Example: I wanted dressers. Fancy, vintage, mid century dresser. But I knew that anyone included the words “mid century” or “danish” or maybe even just “vintage”, knew what they had and would charge me for it. My goal was to find the grandma who doesn’t want that old thang anymore and just wants to get rid of it. Chances are, she’s just going to call it a dresser. So guess what? I search in the most general way possible. I only search for “dressers”. The first search will be a bear. Spend like a full hour going through everything. But then every day, at the same time (I did it when G was napping) search again for “dressers” from anything in the last 24 hours. It will take you 15 minutes max and you’ll see everything there is and you’ll be on that shit faster than a Tridelt at a Nordstrom sale.

3) Know your budget and don’t be a whore about it

Ok some days I’d search mid century. And I’d find beautiful things sold by dealers. They were like 300 bucks. Which honestly, isn’t a bad price. I could get a piece of poop that will break in a month from Ikea for 300 bucks. But this stuff is solid wood, refinished to look like a marshmallow unicorn dream. It would be so easy. But I knew I could do better. My budget was no more than 100 dollars and I would not give in until I found it. And I did find it. Many times. But many of those times the dipwads on the other end don’t get back to you and you cry into your pillow about it. Because IT WAS THE ONE. But you keep going. Until you find one that loves you back.

4) Email like an asshole

Ok, don’t be an asshole. But be brief and be vague. You found it. Time to contact the seller. DO NOT WAIT. If you found it, you contact them NOW. If there is a phone number, you call. Don’t email. Grandma doesn’t even do email. She pays her ungrateful son to do it for her. And he’s looking at porn. SO CALL. Ok but if you can’t call, in your email say this:

Hi

I’m interested in your dresser for my son’s room from the posting “say what it is exactly”. I live in “local town usa” and can pick it up right away. Is it still available and what would your availability be to come by?

Thanks so much!

Amanda

See how I did that? She knows I’m a mom (not a bear man looking to steal your walker and VCR). I’m not looking to be an asshole and negotiate (although we’ll get to that) and I can come right away or whatever works for them (flexible). Exclamation points mean friendly. I never use them in real life for obvious reasons. But be brief and don’t go on and on. Get to the point and make that shit happen.

5) Negotiating. A tricky bitch.

Let’s say you found it but it’s like a little out of your range. Be realistic here. If this is amazing, a good price and you’ve been searching for 2 months. Don’t push your luck. 50 other people are going to find it and want to get it now. You will fall to the bottom of the list. BUT but but…let’s say you’re looking for a stroller and there are 14 other of them, feel free to offer a little less. But don’t be a wad about it. After your first email and after they respond you have them as a responsive buyer. Ask them if they would accept 30 dollars instead of 50. Do not ask if they will accept 30 instead of 100. Remember, don’t be a wad.

6) You set a price. They agreed. But you have to pick it up NOW. Because 20 other people are interested.

Yeah he’s probably bullshitting you. But if you really want this thing, you call your husband, make him leave work, get a truck and drive in concert rush hour traffic to the ghetto with cash to get it. If you have a car that can fit what you are buying, you are way better off. HAVE A PLAN. I learned this the hard way after B turned around and came home because he wouldn’t make it to the old man’s house by his 4pm deadline. I think he needed to watch Wheel of Fortune. I didn’t sleep that night thinking everyone would come and buy it before I could. B told me to SETTLE. I told him he wouldn’t know a good mid century deal if he was the host of Let’s Make a Mid Century Deal. Which brings me to our next rule:

7) Don’t piss off your runner. (i.e. husband)

8) Not getting murdered.

This one is important because dead people can’t really enjoy good Craigslist finds. Don’t be dumb. Don’t go by yourself. I would never go to anyone’s house who I didn’t know alone or especially with G. This is hard because B works all day and I sit on my ass watching TLC. But I’m not ready to die over furniture yet. If you have a friend, bring them.

9) Buying shit unseen

Ok, ideally you want to go see it, buy it and bring it home. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Like when G is napping and I have to stay here while B drives across the city to pick the thing up. I had to trust B. And trust ME…B doesn’t know this shit. This is my thing. But I was confident in the picture and the listing. I was very specific with B that even if it needed repair, buy it because the price is worth is. Also I would cry otherwise.

10) When NOT to buy

I saw some things that looked amazing online and then got there and they were balls bad. Like all plasticky finish. This is important because if it’s all veneer, it means you can never refinish it. It also means it’s a cheap piece of piece. Don’t be afraid to walk away.

11) You got it.

You got it. YAY! Take a picture and make your friends jealous. Use instagram to make it look even better than it is. You are now Mastah of the List. Make a nametag and a hat. Make your friends say it to you.

I will do another post about selling on Craigslist. Another fine line between $$$ and murder. Isn’t it always that way?

Do you have awesome cl tips that I need to know? Tell me. Soon enough we will have the big boy room reveal. Oh and sorry to disappoint you nursery fanatics. We’re not doing one. Yoshe will be just fine with birds and the owls and whatnot.

 

 

footnote:

**I almost said raped but I don’t want to offend rape victims. I figure murder victims are already dead and can’t harass me.  Unless I’m asking for a haunting. Then I really should have stuck with the rape thing. Maybe one day though I can be on Celebrity Ghost Stories. Ok, sticking with the murder.

 

____________________________________________

i realized today that I forgot to announce the winners of the Honest Tea Giveaway. I’m the worst. Ok here they are. EMAIL ME NOW at modgblog at gmail dot com

Katie E.
Okay, first of all, we are serious Honest Tea addicts in my home. I think my youngest child is 1% Honest Ade, which I would drink while eating homemade hummus, because the store brand was too salty and I loved chickpeas like I loved breathing the whole time I was pregnant. If it is good for you, and in the South, and people drink it, you know it is amazing.

Lisa
ps – I love Honest Tea. I met some of their employees at a trade show once, and they were all SO nice. They really are a good company.

Leigh
PS: I love Honest Tea, and would love to try the Limeade. I just wish it was cheaper at the bodegas in NYC!

 

POSTED IN: Awesome things,hotness,Nursery

I disagree, other people’s vacation pictures don’t *actually* rape your face.

I’m going to let you in on a little blogging secret. When bloggers don’t know what to say to you, they just put up a lot of pictures and let you do the work in the comments. You know, like when I’m mad at B for eating my cinnamon buns and he just makes weird […]

Read the full post →

At least this time I wrote a real post before whoring myself out for votes. Also B is Tony Danza.

December 1st is my first day working for my new boss: Daddy B. Under his employment, I will do my best to earn my keep and earn points which I can trade in for things like lipgloss and nursing bras. Awesome. I get to keep these points on a golden card of credit with my  […]

Read the full post →

We’re still talking about the nursery, but this time at Hooters, with fire lasers.

Since I apparently work at the security equivalent to the Pentagon, I could not update the blog yesterday to let you know that your services are now needed. I am actively enrolled in the Apartment Therapy nursery contest and your duty as virtual friends is calling yet again. Below is my source list for every […]

Read the full post →