Yesterday was the last warm day in Philadelphia for a long long time. I consider this the sun setting on my freedom. However yesterday was happy for another reason because IT WAS THE DAY OF MAH SPRANKLE.



Yes you are correct. You see glitter pumpkins and candy. I could have died in a corner covered in crumbs and been happy. But I know you do not give 7 shits about my cupcakes. You want to see what I wore. Because I only made the biggest deal about it since that stupid Kardashian shoe club.

That is me. In the grass. In my slutty preg outfit. Complete with outie belly button and nipples photshopped out. My body looks like the face of a surprised asian girl. And you can’t see the shoes but they are leopard flats. To be fair to fashion, I started the day out in black leather ankle booties. That lasted 30 seconds. Literally. I came in and threw on those flats right away.

In terms of my rental dresses, I ended up returning the blue and the red and keeping the gray and the green. Which one got the final rose, was a last minute call. But I’m happy with my choice. I liked that my boobs weren’t in everyone’s face. And I’m proud of that gigando bump. Although I was asked if I was having twins. I chose not to choke her though.

The jewelry was a tough call. I rented a bunch from Rent the Runway with mah points. I wore none of it. Instead I got this gem from Bauble Bar. Their jewelry is cute and not expensive. Although it’s not ALL like super Kate Middleton quality. It’s more like Nicki Minaj quality. Which I’m ok with.

The sprinkle itself was great. We kept it really small and only invited people who I really wanted to be there. Also I have 7 friends total. So that idea worked out great. But my favorite part of the shower was my regular strength friends colliding with my hippie friends. I’ll show you some of the differences.


Non hippie gift.

Handmade hippie gifts.

Yes, I cried. 30 times. The hippies also gave me more cloth diapers and handmade jewelry with Yoshe’s birthstone and a card detailing the  magical powers that the stones will give us. Everyone was really jealous that they didn’t have hippie friends of their own.

We also painted onesies.

Non hippie onesie.


Hippie onesie.


Really, I can’t lose.

And now some more pictures just because I’ll never look like this again. EVER. Note to shower attendees: pictures here were chosen solely based on how good I looked in them.


Scrubs for G! Do you die? Get them here

And yes, this also made me cry. Because of the matching onesie that says “You make me happy when skies are gray”. (secret: B cried too when he saw it). Get it here

And that’s it friends. My last “thing”  until Yoshe shows her face in my lady parts. The countdown is on. We are at 5 weeks as of today. Thanks for virtually attending mah sprankle. Your presence did not go unnoticed.


massive modg

this also happened.


POSTED IN: Awesome things,babies,Eating Innapropriately,Halloween,hippie stuff,MODG,Preg Stuff,Sharing,Stuff I like

Post image for Halloween was 3% successful. I owe that to the smart readers.

Me: B, I want G to be an alien for Halloween

B: Ok whatever

Me: And then we can be men in black.


Me: Woah. Slow your roll homes. I’m talking REAL men in black. Like the originals.


Me: NO NO NO. Like actual men in black that threaten people who “know too much”. Don’t you watch ANY alien documentaries?

B: But But Bu…

Me: And further more, I was busy every 4th of July in the 90’s and therefor have never seen Men in Black 1, 2, 3 or that one with the White House.

B: mumbles wellitwasprettycool mumble mumble mumble

And so our Halloween costumes were born. And of course there are no baby Alien costumes on the internet that aren’t related to a Pixar movie. No thank you Pixar, I’ll take Sleeping Beauty circa 198whatever.

And in the following pictures you will see that every.single.one the boy has some food in his mouth. We’re talking his first fruit roll up. All to get the damn hat on and stay on.

I believe that the fact that my “career wear” in my closet is now my halloween costume, makes quite the statement about my life.

Although let’s be clear, I was not a tie lesbian at work. I think.


And you my friends,  have earned your rights as readers to continue reading the nonsense that I write for teaching me how to get this child to wear a hat.

Bribery and distraction.

But then the alien won this round. And was now just some sort of 1950’s evil space leader. Things got ugly from here on out

We made it to one house. ONE. But we’ll keep that secret between you and I.

Because cost of costume per house is math that I don’t need in my life. AND NEITHER DO YOU B.

Next I’ll be contacting MUFON.

Thank you,

MODG and team.


POSTED IN: Awesome things,B,Halloween,Mom Stuff

It’s a Halloween emergency. My child CAN NOT reject Halloween.

Thumbnail image for It’s a Halloween emergency. My child CAN NOT reject Halloween.

The same people who told me that my insane newborn was a “high needs baby” are now telling me that I have a “strong willed child”. Let’s just call a taco a taco. My child is his mom. Stubborn and defiant. Now I know, he’s only 11 months old. He’s not out to get me. […]

Read the full post →

Witch does rhyme with bitch which rhymes with 2moremonthsgoodgod…

Hey kids. Halloween isn’t just about candy and monsters and blood. It’s also about awareness and sex talk. Abstinence is the only true way to prevent witch pregnancy. Yeah I’m a witch. What you couldn’t tell? B told me to put on a witch hat but I declined because that isn’t fashiony. My sparkle necklace […]

Read the full post →

B, Err day should be your birthday. So stop being creepy and spooky about it.

oooooh OOOOH boooooo (those are ghost sounds) Helloooo friends. It’s the spoooookiest time of the year. oooh OOOH. (not sex sounds). So turn on your night lights, hold your mom’s hand and pee your pants because….. The spookiest time of year is B’S BIRTHDAY WHICH IS TODAY! B is 31 years old today. And every […]

Read the full post →