small beings

Winter Break your face off.

December 22, 2015

It’s the most wonderful time of year. You know, when your children finally come home from school for weeks at a time and you get to spend quality time together over the many many days of cold and rain. You are lucky that you get to just sit inside and watch their little faces play nicely together.

NO.

I HATE WINTER BREAK. IT’S SO LONG I WANT TO DIE MY FACE OFF.

My kids have been home since last Wednesday and don’t go back until January 4th. They are only in school for like 3 hours a day but I NEED THOSE 3 HOURS I DO I DO.

All day: I’m bored. She bonked into my penis. He is taking my treasure. She threw the cat at me.

THIS IS NOT MY CHRISTMAS WISH. My Christmas wish? A world where winter break meant that you put your children on a child proof and secure sleigh, which takes them to the North Pole with all the other children of the world. Or they just go to grandma and grandpa’s house. Either.

I love my children. I do. I just can’t love them the same amount in a 24 hour period. And you internet, understand. You always are there for me.

So happy holidays. Happy winter break. I’ll leave you with this.

christmas card edited2

xoxo

MODG

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Gets Smart, Makes Stuff, Plays with Stuff, Spawn, Stuff I love, WANA

No more stuff I like. This is Stuff I KNOW that your kids will like.

December 7, 2015

Hello from puffy-eye-jeans-are too- tight-ville. Please stop by for a visit.

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The holiday parties are starting and waking up without feeling hungover has become a novelty. But we have a few orders of business to take care of.

FIRST: The winner of the Ten Air jewelry is:

JESS M: Wow, your friend is super talented and that pressed flower necklace would make me so happy.” 

Shoot me an email Jess and we’ll arrange for your lovely gift to yourself.

Next, WANA.

So as expected, our WANA comments aren’t as numerous as previous years. This is mostly because the blog hasn’t been active in quite some time and people are just starting to come back. However, in all honesty, this is sort of a good thing. The people who are here seem to be genuinely in need, not spamming and the amount of people to help isn’t overwhelming. In fact it’s very easy to scroll through the comments to find someone who needs very basic help. We do still have a lot of unanswered needs. THANK you everyone for participating. It’s super rewarding to see people making connections.

Ok now. You’ve been asking me for my STUFF I LIKE posts for the holidays. Here’s the thing, I feel conflicted about this. We are really trying to move away from as much “stuff” in our house. There is shit like, everywhere. I think I mentioned that we are doing 4 gifts for the kids this year: Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. We are trying to focus on giving. We’ll be helping a WANA family and I’m hoping to do a random act of kindness day with the kids.

I know, who am I? But I just don’t want to raise asshole kids, you know? Kids are already assholes by nature and we really need to do our best to be like STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND BE A GOOD PERSON ALREADY. You know? Parenting superstar. Line up for advice.

Anyway, here’s what I decided. Since we’re doing much less gifts, I do want the gifts to be quality, be enjoyed and be something worth while. So I thought it would still be beneficial to talk about what works and what doesn’t. We’ve had a LOT of toy failure and toy waste in this house and if I can help you from making the same mistakes, then bravo to me. Because you know….me.

So I give you

STUFF THAT’S WORTH YOUR DOLLARS FOR 5 YEARS AND UNDER

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Mommas, Stuff I love, Style

My bestest best on Small Business Saturday. You will thank me.

November 28, 2015

So yesterday, I got in my car and participated in the black friday. It wasn’t as dark and gloomy as I expected a black friday to be. In fact, there was this strange bond between the shoppers. We kind of looked at each other like, yeah, you love this shit just as much as I do. No one understands me like you do, crazy shopper. And so we smiled when we tried to get through a teeny aisle of clothing or we generously held places in line when you realized you HAD to have the white tulle skirt.

Then I was all, black friday is so easy! I’m going to go to KOP mall. BAM. Pie in the face fooled. There were car lines in the street to get to the street that let you into the parking lot. Cars were parked at the businesses across the street. I was NOT interested. So here I am. Boozed up on margs and blogging on my new birthday MAC. My last computer was like an old man eating a ton of Werther’s Originals very.very.very slowly.

Now we are all Keanu Reeves in this joint.

BAM. speed.

So despite what my good hippies say (#buynothingtoday), I’d like to say #buyeverythingtodayjustlikeeveryotherday. I’m not going to discriminate DAYS on which I shop. I shop on all of the days. This day is no different. It’s just another day for you and me in paradise. Paradise. Paradise.

But here we are now on Small Business Saturday. Just like days, I’m an equal opportunity shopper in places as well. However, I have good friends who run small businesses and I see how tough it is and how much time and money they put into it. And doing well puts food on their tables. So today, I’m highlighting my favorite small business. This is run and owned by probably the kindest person on earth. She’s this kind of person:

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really just nonsense, WANA

Fur Wearing Tuesday, genocide and mah birthday.

November 24, 2015

So guess what’s hard? Doing anything.

Since it’s been a solid 2 years since I’ve been regularly writing. I’ve never experienced the actual need to have time to do like, stuff. Like writing here. Because someone wants to shoot me with a laser. Or someone needs to be wiped. Or someone is trying (again) to swallow the Apple TV remote, because…shiny. And so is life now. Right now the kids are home for aseventyhundred days from school because of one unnecessary “holiday.” Sorry Thanksgiving enthusiasts. It’s actually my birthday on that day. What better way to celebrate my birth and genocide?

Ok sorry, I’m in a mood. I’ve had a child in my bed for the better part of all of the dark hours. They are so sneaky about it and then kick my face every 30  minutes. And so I don’t sleep. And so I look like this as I write:

Photo on 2015-11-24 at 12.01

Because 1) it’s cold. 2) stay fancy 3) dark circles.

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