small beings

not dead. I think.

March 25, 2013

I’m here. Sort of. I’m here in a fuzzy, I can kind of see through  my frizzy bangs and dirt halo sort of way.

I’m going to say this. Military wives are my heros. They deserve badges and buckets of gold and honors and things like that.

It’s March. It’s snowing. March is a whore.

Also today I introduced coffee back into my diet. Next I’ll be introducing cocaine.

Ruby cut her first tooth.

G smacked me 98 times and is becoming the tantrum champ of the east.

Ruby thinks that 20 minutes of sleep is all that babies need. Ruby hangs out with some asshole babies.

So all of that.

I’ll update you as I can. Send nannies.




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  • Clarissa March 25, 2013 at 10:57 am

    I know your hell MODG, TRUST…I had a hubby who went out of town to work in VEGAS while I was preggers with our 4th child and taking care of 3 kids who were aged 4 and 3 (the 3 year olds are twins)…..I would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom then go through horrible anxiety of what might happen to the kids while I was escaping in said bathroom, then regretfully come out and cry on the inside as 1 of me was never enough for all of them!

  • A.Nel March 25, 2013 at 10:58 am

    I feel for you, Modg. We cut two bottom teeth AT THE SAME TIME 2 weeks ago. However, I just have my one little girl. But, it gets better, right?! 😉

  • Amy Simmons March 25, 2013 at 11:02 am

    Ummm… What is up with your Give “Ugly Girl’s” a chance ad on your site?

  • katie March 25, 2013 at 11:03 am

    do you need my address to send me those buckets of gold and badges? :)

  • Julie Lay March 25, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Ah the joys of a second child.

  • Kendra March 25, 2013 at 11:07 am

    I’ve got 5 words for you… You’re doing a great job! I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but trust me, you are.

  • Sarah March 25, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Stay strong Modgy!!!! Yea, I can’t even think about the military wives because it makes me feel 400 kinds of inferior. I also found out there’s a woman from my breastfeeding group who has twins and pumps sixty four ounces a day from work, and I felt pretty pathetic for all the times I’ve cried at home in my pajamas from being stressed over one. UGHHH.

    • Morgan March 25, 2013 at 11:45 am

      Oh. Dear. God. Thanks for keeping my one baby in perspective. It could be a whole lot worse.

  • Katie R-G March 25, 2013 at 11:10 am

    We’re living the same life. I’ve slept 5 hours total since Saturday. It’s fucking snowing. Cocaine sounds epic. Good luck.

  • Olivia March 25, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Sending love. And booze. This too shall pass.

  • Andi March 25, 2013 at 11:39 am

    This, too, will pass.

    You are doing a good job. The beginning is always the hardest (for me) when the hubs is away. It evens out.

    Definitely ask those in your area for help. Do not assume that those around you know what you need. was a boon for me with a mother’s helper. Or call your hippie friends. One of them will come over and watch your babies while you can shower and take a nap.

  • Lisa March 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    You’ll make it! My hubby travels for work, sometimes with only 2 days notice that he’ll be gone the next week. His next trip is going to be anywhere from 2-6 weeks! One day at a time, you’re doing great! Soon, it will be nice enough to go outside, and that makes a world of difference. That glass of wine after bedtime is the best one of the day, and the one with lunch is a close second :)

  • Lisa March 25, 2013 at 11:49 am

    2 molars and all 4 canines. At once. Was awful.

    Hope Ruby discovers the joys of sleep and G discovers the joys of not losing his shit over nothing.

  • MeYou March 25, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    First tooth already? …Feel for you- I too will know the joys of having a toddler and a newborn/infant soon.

  • Susan March 25, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Big, giant, squishy hugs!! Mine are 21.5 months apart, so I feel your pain! Having a teething necklace for little sister saved us a lot of pain and crying (from both of us). Special playtimes once a week really improved the attitude of big sister. You can so do this! You are amazing!!

  • TBag March 25, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Hang in there MODG-y. I miss your crayon art and toilet fashions. Soon right? Should I mail you some booze?

  • Jess M. March 25, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    I feel you with the 20 minute naps! I have been a Nanny for almost ten years. I currently bring my 2.5 year old son to work with a little one on the way, as well as watching cousins. A one year old and a 6 month old. The 6 month old would only sleep for 15 minutes!! FIFTEEN!!! What is that??? And let me tell you with 3 kiddos under 3 and being in my first trimester I TREASURE nap time! It took two weeks of refusing to pick up the 6 month after her 15 min cat nap but going in to check on her every so often and listening to her cry for two hours but she is finally napping life a champ! Anywhere from an hour to 3 hours!! (And yes, Mom and Dad knew how I was handling the no napping and they were on board) It was not fun for anyone and I didn’t think I was going to make. Even my son started telling her to stop crying. That she had cried enough and now it was time to stop! But I am soooo glad I held out and am now reaping the benefits! You’re strong, you can make it too!

  • Lisa @bitesforbabies March 25, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    I can’t believe you had time to write THIS…aren’t you still unpacking?! lol!

  • Lolo March 25, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    Modg, Winter really is one huge stag bag this year. She needs to pack her shit and move the F out. If I have to stare at my living room walls for one more minute I’m going to need to take residence in a padded room. My husband does shift work so I feel your pain. Hang in there. Winter’s gonna get her eviction notice eventually.

  • Stacy March 25, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    I laughed (through tears) for 5 mins straight at “G smacked me 98 times and is becoming the tantrum champ of the east.” Bc I am going through this same sht!! My 26 month old has lost his damn mind and my 4 month old is a screamer. Meanwhile my neighbor has a 2yo who plays by herself and a newborn that doesn’t cry. Thank you MODG for reassuring me that I’m not alone in my chaos!

  • Amanda K. @ Living on Grace March 25, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    my husband went out of town for two weeks and i cried when he drove away (i have a 20-month old and am 34 weeks pregnant).
    a friend of mine, a friend of mine who does not have children, had the nerve to say to me, “well, i’m sure you miss your husband but at least you get a little break, huh?”
    my son hits as well. he started head-butting us, too. wonderful.
    in the morning my son is asks for elmo to come get him. for the first time i’ve started hoping elmo comes, too.

    • eileen marie March 25, 2013 at 6:41 pm

      ROFL re: Elmo. I wish I could hire someone to dress as Elmo & rescue you for an afternoon!

    • Stef March 26, 2013 at 10:41 am

      Amanda – don’t you love friends without kids who don’t get it? I get this a lot. Consequently my non-kid friend list has gotten incredibly short…

  • eileen marie March 25, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    “Next I’ll be introducing cocaine.” I just spit the milk from the cereal I’m eating for dinner on my screen. But yay for coffee & boo for 2 kids who are driving you nuts while B is MIA. xoxo Modg!

  • kelsey March 25, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    I can always count on you to make me laugh out loud! We have a teether here too – she is laughing one minute, crying the next…. and then there is the diarrhea.

  • colleen March 25, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    well i’m glad you’re drinking coffee again. hopefully some wine, too.

  • JULI C March 25, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    I can babysit… well my 5 & 6 yr olds can help too… they love babies! =)
    Or better yet, you can all come over.. The weather here on the West Coast is nice and sunny.
    You’ll need a passport to enter Canada… OH and to entice you more… we have Tim Horton coffees =D and donuts……
    glad you are still alive!

  • Audrey March 26, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Sending hugs. That coffee will be good for you. Maybe not today…but soon. Keep putting out updates. I’ll be in your shoes in a few weeks. Well, a few months actually to get to the shoes you are in right now, but I appreciate knowing what I am in for. Minus the snow. March will be over soon though… Sorry, I have no nanny to send you.

  • Stef March 26, 2013 at 10:39 am

    As a military momma I get it – I so so so get it. I’d say wine helps but to be honest I think the last glass of wine I tried to drink is still sitting in the bathroom when I attempted to take a bath with the seven minutes I thought I’d get to myself. I don’t think anyone gets used to the schedule of a nursing baby and crazy toddler. Selfishly, sometimes I don’t even mind going to work. At least when I pump there I don’t have a toddler throwing Chuck the Trucks in my face.

    • Stef March 26, 2013 at 11:39 am

      I feel the need to clarify here because I didn’t in my post. No matter how many times my husband is gone and no matter how long it is – I never get used to it. Ever. Every time feels like the first time (that’s what she said). I mean, I guess I have experience, I know what has worked the last couple of years. But toddlers and babies are so unpredictable that it’s never the same. The best we can all do is hope to God that we are all still standing when they get home and pray our DVR doesn’t get maxed out. I have no doubt that you’re doing an awesome job!!

  • Sarah March 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm


  • Jeanne' March 26, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Cutting teeth sucks. I feel for you and lack of sleep. If I could con a nanny into accepting low pay and a horde of boys, I would do it in a heart beat! I truly forget what sleep even feels like! lol

  • Devan March 27, 2013 at 7:37 am

    I don’t like when people say “this too shall pass”, usually what I want is sympathy. Like “CRAP! Yeah, that DOES SUCK BALLS!!” So, my comment is that second thing… :)

  • Erin T. March 27, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    A tooth already?! My little guy is 6 months and he’s still all gums… May I ask what you recommend for teething relief? Does anything really work better than another or are they all the same? It’s been about 15 years since I’ve had to deal with a teething baby and other than Tylenol I don’t remember anything else.

  • Liz March 27, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    And they wonder why we derive so much pleasure from grounding them as teenagers. It’s easy, we have a depth of stored up irritation to draw from… It’s laugh or cry girl (or lock yourself in the bathroom and drink). Either way – invest in some waterproof mascara. I like a good Supernanny marathon too every now and then to help me remember that I am the conductor of the crazy train I happen to live on. Plus, it just feels good to look at a two year old and utter the phrase “that behavior is Unacceptable” with a fake British accent…

  • Leslie March 28, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Modg, where is your MOTHER?? Can she come and stay with you for the weekend? Long enough for you to shower and go to Starbucks, at least?

  • Amy March 28, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Why do you think I had my babies 7 years apart…it rocks!

  • Susan from GA March 28, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    I know you don’t have time to read this…but I almost cried for you when I read your post. :=(

  • Susan from GA March 28, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    And…..(((HUGS)))….I know that doesn’t really help you…but it makes me feel better. I swear if I had vacation time I’d get in my car and drive to your house! (Not in a creepy way, but in a “sista” way!)

  • christina March 29, 2013 at 11:16 am

    oh I feel for you! Ruby must be hanging out with my twins. 11 months old and currently not sleeping through the night. they sleep for like 3 hours max then its both up or back to back to back wakings. the funnest part you ask? the fact that one girl is getting in 7 – you read it right SEVEN – teeth at once and the other girl is getting in a measly 4 teeth. Orajel is my friend. i might even buy stock in that company – because whoever thought up that pink-gold was a genius. although – fair warning – when you put it on beware of hard clamping/sucking/almost biting your nipples. they just can’t tell how hard they are biting when its so numb. plus i have a 3 year old. i never thought that the hardest part about having twins was having a 3 year old. the older kids are feeling the attention getting pulled from them and i feel so bad because there isn’t much to do besides distract with TV/toys when you need to attend to screaming infants. hang in there MODG. if my calculations are correct your hubby will be home soon and hopefully any subsequent trips will be easier on you. :(

  • Kelly March 30, 2013 at 7:51 am

    I was literally just there with my two a few weeks ago. There were lots of tears. Baby wasn’t sleeping and nothing seemed to be working to curb my two year old’s less than desirable behavior. A friend recommended I read the book 1-2-3 Magic. (I think it comes in DVD form too.) Holy cr*p, it’s actually working for me. I haven’t been hit lately. And even better, I can successfully discourage shenanigans while trapped on the couch nursing the little one. Not to say there aren’t attempts at mischief any more, but at least I feel more sane and in better control now!

  • Deena April 1, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Best of luck MODG!

    I hope your Dad can come to help. Mainly b/c I want to see his review of cloth diapers but also b/c it sounds like you could use some extra help.

    Sending you lots of spring vibes so G can go outside and burn off all his energy!

  • Megan April 1, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Just wanted to let you know, I’m thinking of you. I know I’m a stranger and that’s kind of weird, but nonetheless I’m feeling your pain or rather I empathize. Hang in there. Do what you HAVE to, let the other stuff slide. Breathe and escape to a bathroom or something when you can. Hugs.