I can now officially tell you which jeans will make you look hotter than 1999 Britney at the Super Bowl. (so hot)

I’m going to start by telling you that this post took me TWO weeks to put together in 15 minute chunks. There was no toilet opportunities available.

Now, I’m going to be honest. I’ve been replacing my eating awesome foods with shopping for awesome jeans. However I usually return the jeans. There is no returning the nutella pretzels. Well, outside of my special toilet time circa Norovirus 2013, there is no returning the nutella pretzels. Anyway, my loss is your gain because I am now the reigning expert on skinny jeans for the post preg body.

As you know, this is part 2. Part 1 is here and I just didn’t feel that my job was complete. I now feel as though I have conquered and can share my knowledge of the denim world with all of you.

I’ll go over my rules again.

I was looking for skinny jeans that:

1) didn’t make me look short and wide

2) didn’t cut me off at muffin top rd. and South.

3) were comfortable enough to run around with 2 kids

4) didn’t stretch out by 12 noon

One more honesty nugget: Trying on jeans after a major virus, is a little bit more fun. You’re down at least 1 jean size. Moving on.

SO  many of you told me to check out American Eagle for jeans. So I had to add that to the list. However, I refused to go into the actual store. Don’t ask me why. I have no problem trotting my 32 year old ass into a store where I am clearly not “Forever21″, but for some reason I can’t get down with the middle schoolers at AEO. So I ordered online. I ordered the pairs that were hi-rise and stretch.

AE super skinny

This is the hi rise super skinny. Ok at first, I liked these. They weren’t THAT hi rise, but whatever. And the length was good. However I did order a “short”. Please remember that I’m 5’2”. One thing I’ve found though is that “short” sizes usually make for a smaller inseam as well. I need the regular people inseam for my longerish torso. So I put them in my exchange pile for a regular length. I decided in the end to just return them. They were just ok and stretched out a bit as I wore them.

f21 stretchy high rise skinny

Meet, the Forever21 Stretchy Hi Rise jean for 24.80. These are so awesome. First, don’t wear them like this picture. Wear them like a normal person with a shirt over the waist. But they are a mix between pants and jeans, with good stretch. If you are between sizes, get 1 size up. If you are a true whatever size, get that size because they stretch, but not as much as the AE jeans. Worth it. Get them. Thank me.

paige skyline

Another fan favorite was the Paige Skyline jeans. Now my criteria for designer denim is way more fierce. I want to look like a Britney 1999 poster. The rise was not high. Like not at all. They cut in and I wanted to vom. Remember, I’m 5’2” so if the rise isn’t high enough on me, it’s really not high. I need to tuck that shit away. Trust. These were a big no.

gap legging

So I went back to the Gap. I tried on the legging skimmer jeans, the printed legging jeans, other colors of legging jeans and these my friends are the only ones that I can truly stand by. I even ordered them in a smaller size and they are the ones I go back to every day. I really REALLY dislike the other cuts of Gap jeans right now. They are frumpy and not cute. But these my friends are really great. I promise you. They don’t stretch out and they are always cute. They are denimy enough to not look like pajama jeans and the color is flattering. BIG endorsement. Order a size down if you are between sizes. I wear the regular length.

AE hi rise jegging

 

These are the 2nd AE jeans that I bought. At first I was like, total keeper. These are the hi rise Jegging jean. I even took the tags off. I wore them all day. By the end of the day, the knee could hold sandbags and I was yanking them up my crotch. NONONO. I packaged them back up and took them into the store to return without tags. That was commitment my friends. Right in there with the middle schoolers.

AG skinny stretch

Since I had returned 40 things with my Nordstrom’s gift card, I decided to bite the bullet and order the awesome AG jeggings. I got them, I tried them, I wore them and I “liked” them. I’ll be honest, they are seriously just cotton leggings made to look like jeans. And definitely not worth 200 dollars. So I returned them. I liked so many cheaper ones almost as much and felt like more of a respectable human in actual pants in the others. Surprise. Expensive isn’t always better (just usually).

f21 stretch skinny

 

Ok people, this is a serious home run. Lots of you were like, please check Forever21. I’m in that store like at least once a week, but I never tried on the denim because 1) I’m a snob and 2) I thought I’d have to wear a size 14 in that store. Dudes, I was so wrong. These jeans are ELEVEN DOLLARS. I wore my actual size and they are super cute on. Now I will say, after washing, they look a little wrinkly and sad. But a quick iron later, they are super. And usually I don’t even care enough to iron. These are gray and sometimes they have blue, just not now. But look for ones that say stretch and again, are ELEVEN DOLLARS.

bdg2

I was emailed from the fine folks at Urban Outfitters, notifying me that their BDG jeans were on super duper sale. So I ordered these off of your rec’s. I really wanted a color and I liked this dried period color. They came and they laughed at me. They were like…wait…THESE are your legs? Where are the rest? They are SOOOO long. Now to be fair, many come in lengths. These did not. And they were so long that even a cute cuff or a roll was a joke. They rise is also way too high. Which I haven’t said yet. I would like to try the regular kind in lengths though.

 

Now my FINAL evaluation of the ultimate skinny jeans for the post mom body without looking like a mom:

NUMBER ONE) Gap Legging jean. No other Gap jean. The legging (non skimmer) jean is your go to. I promise.

2) I’m going to say it: Forever 21 jeans. Reasoning is a combination of price and fit.

 

I feel like we should really take into consideration price because after babies, our bodies change and we won’t be in these denim sacks forever. Eventually we’ll be the hotness again. So get yourself 1 pair of Gap legging jeans and then go to F21 and get a ton of shitty colored zippered clown face printed jeans to be cool.

And with that my friends. The skinny jean quest is over.

And now the shoes….

 

xoxo

MODG

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{ 30 comments }

Lauren @ T&G February 20, 2013 at 3:02 pm

I got some BDGs on sale in the Twig Mid-Rise Ankle. Love them. They aren’t the best jeans I have ever had, but at 5’6, the ankle worked for me. I still wish it was a little skinnier right at the leg opening. No part of my body is “twig” like, but somehow these were the best at Urban Outfitters. I have found that anything that is “high waist” isn’t THAT high, and then just seriously cuts into my muffin at the most unflattering spot ever. I think they expect the girl who is getting the high waist to have 8% body fat and wear it with a Selena bustier. They need to figure out that no, it’s people with something to hide that are intrigued by high rise.

Heather February 20, 2013 at 3:19 pm

I swear by J Brand mid rise (which are high rise) skinnies. I love them and they last forever.

Amanda N February 20, 2013 at 3:27 pm

I have to say that the $9.95 H&M skinny jeans are working for my awkward post-preg body! I almost couldn’t believe it. I had to search (they were kind of tucked away on some shelves away from the regular [~$20-$40] jeans) but they are cute, comfy, slimming (thanks hubs ;)) and CHEAP!

Karen February 20, 2013 at 3:33 pm

I’m new to skinny jeans and I have no idea what kind of shoes to wear with them. The models seem to have a combo of heels and flats. So no sneakers? Are socks or black work shoes with flats ok?

courtney February 20, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Look this has nothing to do with jeans buuuuut I tried submitting under the Contact You button but that shit is still saying “one moment please” and its been ten minutes.

So here’s the hijack you’ll be thankful for.. ;)

HI.

I’m a new follower and I was clicking through random posts and I found the one from Dec 26, 2011 (I feel like such a stalker to admit I’m that far back).

I AM ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

They thought I had IC and now they just think I have frequent UTIs due to a short urethra (as if short legs, short torso, and small boobs wasn’t short enough for Father Genetics?) BUT I still get flare ups without bacteria. The jury is still out. Enough about my pee hole and onto the life changing shit…

Cystex. It’s available over the counter in either the pad/tampon/yeast meds/pee sticks etc aise or the pain relief aisle. It works similar to AZO ….BUT GET THIS…THE SHIT DOESN’T HAVE A COLOR TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN NOW WEAR YOUR SEXY PANTIES AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY OR WIPE A THOUSAND TIMES THINKING YOU HAVE YELLOW FOOD COLORING SQUIRTING OUT OF YOUR WEE HOLE.

AND, it contains a small amount of anti bacterial medication so that it can tide you over until you have to go to the pee doctor for a real infection. I’m supposed to take antibiotics after sex every time but they make me so nauseas and sometimes I just take tehse and they work like gold. Also, when I feel a flare up from too much caffeine (this shit sucks..) or alcohol, I pop a cystex and I’m good to go. Zero side effects.

Also, the underside of my toilet seat no longer looks like I did a tribal painting with Big Birds Blood.

You are welcome. I really hope it works for you if you’re still suffering!

Courtney

TBag February 20, 2013 at 4:02 pm

Sweet Jebus Courtney…the visuals will probably never leave my brain now!! GROSS.

Anyways…..MODG, just happened to be random Gap shopping for the first time in a long time, and I bought the camo printed legging jean and I love so so much. I wasn’t there for skinny jeans mind you, but I thought, what the hell, and went for it… Truly loved them way more than I thought!!!

Good choices!

Courtney February 20, 2013 at 10:25 pm

Those visuals were crafted while being paid to work in a hospital. I chose my words carefully ;) Could have been worse (better? probably better?)

Rachael February 20, 2013 at 4:04 pm

Woo! Best news ever. The little mall closest to me has F21 and Gap. I think it has Gap… maybe not. Whatever it has F21, biggest one I have ever seen. Of course I usually run through it before the teenagers notice my frumpy ass and laugh out loud, but… I can make an exception. Thanks Modg.

Kelsi February 20, 2013 at 4:13 pm

Mean, I live in my American Eagle skinnies! They never stretch out on me. Glad you found some good ones though! I’ll have to check out the F21 cheapies for sure!

Kelsi February 20, 2013 at 4:20 pm

Ps lol I wasn’t calling you mean, my GD phone auto corrected “man” ;)

Leslie February 20, 2013 at 4:26 pm

The Gap skinnies are already sold out online… MODG, I sincerely hope you’re getting a cut.

Leigh February 20, 2013 at 4:34 pm

I just emergency shopped for a pair of jeans when the ones I wore to work turned out to have an indiscreet hole in them. I ended up with Flying Monkey jeans/leggings and they are fantastic. Very flattering. I need that right now, as I stopped nursing my son in June 2012 when he was 14 months and gained 10 pounds almost immediately. I was skinny the entire time I nursed, like almost immediately post-birth, like below pre-baby weight. No more, sister, I’ve now got this stubborn stubborn 5 extra lbs of roll and shake that just won’t quit. :(

Steph February 20, 2013 at 5:00 pm

I randomly stepped into a Gap this weekend and decided to put on a pair of their legging jeans, which I never do because their skinny jeans usually make me feel bad about myself, but I LOVE THEM. I bought them and even paid full price, which I also never do. I have worn them 3 times since Saturday and I haven’t washed them once (I’m not sorry) and they still hold their shape. I then thought to myself, “I wonder if Modg has tried these yet” and now here you are with your post and your number 1 jean!

Cortnie February 20, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Thanks for all your hard work, MODG!! xoxo

Jules February 20, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Is it sad that my first instinct was to go look up Britney at the Superbowl? FYI, 2001, not 1999. :)

Amy L. February 20, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Haven’t tried Forever 21. I get seriously overwhelmed in that store and often walk out because I don’t know where to begin. I stand by Madewell skinny skinny jeans for my 5’2 post-baby frame. Have never on my like been complimented on a pair of jeans until I wore these.

Stephanie February 20, 2013 at 11:19 pm

I think you get triple DTDHC points for wearing any skinny jeans after having two kids. I have had zero kids and there is not enough money in the world to get me to wear them. Props to all who can pull them off.

Courtney February 21, 2013 at 1:11 am

Some of my favorite and most complimented jeans are from Forever 21! People are always shocked when I tell them, too. You have to be careful because they have about 17 million kinds and only like 2 or 3 are actually wearable for the 30+ crowd, but when you find the pair that work they’ll become your uniform. And yes, I must’ve purchased 4 pairs of jeans as I was slimming down post-baby, so buying $11 jeans make the most sense. Thanks for a great post-baby denim review. I’ll need this info in 9 months! ;)

Angela February 21, 2013 at 9:25 am

Hola, I just wanted to say I happened upon your blog while battling the dreaded last bouts of HORRENDOUS morning sickness. As I went back to the beginning and read all your posts in between waves of dizzy gut bubbles, you made me laugh, cry, breath, and not kill my husband! I thank you for these little moments of normalcy! No really THANK YOU!
I’m on kid two (due July 21st) with a seven year old boy in mid “I do what I want” mode since I didn’t have the energy to duct tape him to a chair for a nice chat on respect and rules.. Ahh. But now, now I’m getting my fire back and I’m eating (well I have terrible gallbladder issues right now so I’m kinda eating only veggies, some fruits, and fish or lean meat once in a while. I have also cut most gluten and dairy out, as well as my favorites (chocolate, cheddar fries (I get them once every two weeks because I would be really hateful if I didn’t) caffeine, steaks, spices ie flavor! Sucks! ). I just wanted to say thank you more than anything! I totally think depression creeps in during the morning sickness hell and you helped me smile when I was feeling pretty low and thought “no one can understand this unless they have felt hungover for 8 weeks straight with vertigo splashed in”. Okay so carry on and keep spreading the -silly smart ass we all think it and don’t say it because what would others think or we say it but love that others say it too- kinda love! Have a wonderful day!

sara February 21, 2013 at 3:03 pm

and what if you do not have a skinny jeans type body… wide hips, muscle thighs, muscle calves and dinosaur ankles… I am 5’10″ skinny jeans do me no justice, I think I’m screwed for jeans for awhile after this baby comes out!

Sara February 21, 2013 at 3:11 pm

I am currently busting my post-preg ass trying to get back down to a size where I will allow myself to buy clothes. Once I demolish The House That Baby Built, I will be sprinting over to F21. Until then, I can only waddle to the yoga pants at Target.

Polly February 21, 2013 at 3:18 pm

You’re awesome! Please keep up the posts, even if it takes you days. Thanks for sharing!

Maggie February 21, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Just bought the gap legging jeans. I know they are sold out online at gap.com, but they still have them at gap.ca.
Thanks a ton for this. I tried them on today and you do not lie, they are pretty sweet. Plus my baby is just under 6 months and I fit into the size 4, so it was a good day all around :)

Kaili February 23, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Thank you for being a shopping genius. I went for the ten dollar jeans, put them on and kept them on. You rule and should get paid to sift through all the crap.

Also, my friends started a jewelry line and I think you would love the ear cuff and gold stacked rings…
http://www.georgeandlaurel.com/#!shop
You’re welcome.

kristin February 25, 2013 at 2:48 pm

dude. thanks a million. i finally have gotten my act together and look decent after a year having kid #4. you say your body doesn’t trust that you wanna be normal again after kid 2? well- after kid 4, my body has been laughing at me. it’s taken some work, but i’m getting there! i’m so ready for some not too expensive fun jeans, so i suppose i’m off to forever 21!

The Happy Mamma February 28, 2013 at 8:10 am

Have you ever been told you look like the conductor chick on the Disney Channel? I saw it this morning and had to send it over!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX-m4XWgcu8

sdw February 28, 2013 at 3:17 pm

Bless you, MODG. I hate to shop, and the post baby body doesn’t help. Today I went into Gap, showed the clerk the pic from your blog, tried the 1969s on, and 15 minutes later I am home with a pair of skinny jeans I will not be ashamed to be seen in, cooking cumin pork with my extra time I didn’t waste trying on every pair of jeans in the mall.

Now… bras for post bf boobs? When you have time.

Zorah February 28, 2013 at 4:04 pm

BEST POST EVER!!!!! Thank you for doing the work and delivering some seriously awesome reviews. Needed a new pair of skinnies, RAN to Gap and sho’ nuff, those Gap legging jeans rocked my mommy world. Thank you!!!!!!

Maggie March 6, 2013 at 8:42 am

Question- I bought the Gap jeans in the regular length. I am the same height as you and I was wondering if you got them hemed? I find they are bunching at my knees and was thinking maybe that was because they are too long to the fabric is being pushed up. What did you do?

As a side note, I totally would have bought a top or two of yours, but it is not open to Canadians. Too bad. Then again, do I really need to buy more stuff while on mat leave…..maybe it is for the best!

Maggie March 6, 2013 at 8:43 am

*hemmed

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