“Adult Time” As defined by a mom of 2 under 2. Also go choke on your booz and happiness.


Hello. If you’re reading this post it means something, even if it’s a very small something is going right in this house. Something being, both kids are napping at the same time. Because that time my friends and ONLY that time is when we can talk. Oh, and only after I cook 40 meals from scratch in my kitchen.

Wait. What was that last part?

Me? Cooking a bunch of shit?

EVERY.G.D.DAY?

Yes. Oh yes.

My diet has morphed from restrictive for breastfeeding, to Paleo, to Whole30 and now the Candida Diet (removing yeast). All to help my little bugger Ruby feel better. She now has full body eczema, mucus face, man farts and sparse poops. We went to the naturopath yesterday and were told that she has too much yeast and is reacting. That means, no fruit, no honey, and definitely no gummy penguins. Listen, I know it’s my choice to do this. But manalive cut me a break with this food shit. Also, who am I? Martini MODG barely recognizes this frizz ball makeupless train wreck.

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If I squint real hard and tilt my head and suck in my gut, I can kiiiind of remember the cool weird girl that started this blog. I remember posting pictures of a shaker and martini glass and being all, “my evening”. And that would be the whole post. Ok quality lacked around here, but my life was miles different than what it is now. A good newlywed friend of mine just informed me that my last “drunk” category post was 2 full years ago. She asked me to rectify this. Another commenter asked that I start posting more of what my “adult” life is like these days. Both had good intentions, but friends without kids, hear me now: THERE IS NO ADULT LIFE. You think I’m exaggerating. You know, because that’s what I do around here. I’m not.

Let me break it down for you:

Wake up either from a grunting baby next to me or a toddler jumping on top of me saying “more special movie” “more special movie” (this is what he calls cartoons. TV has become the 5th family member since Ruby arrived)

Hold one kid while getting another dressed, reverse.

Prop small one somewhere and occupy toddler with a brush and my bra drawer while I somehow get dressed

Sometimes I look in the mirror

Play trains, feed baby, play trains, feed baby, play trains, feed baby, change diaper, play trains, feed baby, play trains, feed baby, change diaper.

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TRAINS. (these guys are my train relief)

Cook lunch while holding baby. Try not to drop her on anything hot. Drag toddler around on my leg as he screams MORE CHEESE. (?)

Prop baby, nap G. Nap involves extreme routines involving specific clothes, diapers, sounds, stars, lights, books, blankets, dolls, lighting concept, etc. It takes a full half hour.

Baby has HAD IT.

Feed her, nap her.

RUN downstairs. Cook everything in the kitchen for dinner, for breakfasts, etc. for B and I containing only safe ingredients for our stupid diets. Worry about G’s food later.

30 minutes. Baby is awake. Stare at her in the video monitor like a mental patient. She goes back to sleep. Whew…

MOMMYCOMEINMOMMYCOMEIN G is up. Shit. Sa;lskdjf;laksdjf;lkj

Tell him to be quiet because he will wake up Ruby.

Cook more.

This cycle repeats 3 times.

Everyone is up. I am out of breath.

play trains, feed baby, play trains, feed baby, play BLOCKS, feed baby (crazy I know).

DAD IS HOME THANK THE JESUS IN THE SKY.

Get dinner on the table

Baby wants me, not dad. Duh.

G wants me to PLAY GD TRAINS AGAIN. Dad isn’t cutting it.

SHOVE food into my mouth so I can pick up the baby.

Bath time.

Dad does bath. I get Ruby. Switch.

G to bed. Wants mommy to read to him.

Ruby screams, wants mom. Duh, who doesn’t. Mom is cool. But please hang out with DAD.

*****SUPER SPECIAL ADULT MOM TIME***** here it comes everyone, my special time———————->

I GET TO SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am alone and it’s my very own time.

I do not get to dry my hair though. I have to run down and get Ruby because she’s screaming.

Feed Ruby and watch the Bachelor in 30 minute increments every night. I’m on episode 2.

9:30pm Ruby is tired, sleeps next to me and will only stay asleep next to me. So I sleep. She moves to her crib around midnight.

AND THEN WE DO IT ALL AGAIN.

See how there wasn’t like, wine time in there? There wasn’t any chocolate and internet shopping time? There wasn’t any, read my Lucky mag time and take toilet pictures time? And no, there wasn’t even blog time.

Listen friends, I’m not complaining. I have a really cool little family and it’s my job to be the momma. And I know this is all a phase as I’ve said. But it’s literally every minute of every day. There is no adult fun time. I hate to break it to everyone who doesn’t have little bundles of poop and pee yet. But let me tell you this, you will be SO good at playing trains. You will play the shit out of those trains.

So stay with me folks. You’ll see more of me as time goes on. And the more you see of me, the better you know we’re doing. Because somehow I’m alone, at my computer and I’m breathing (and maybe drinking wine. Praise Britney, please let me be drinking some wine)

I will have non mom skinny jean post #2 for you soon. You know, when I get time.

xoxo and sexy grain free love,

MODG

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POSTED IN: babies,I hate everyone,Mom Stuff,Not Pleased,Toddlers,You think you know but you have no idea

{ 99 comments }

Bethany February 7, 2013 at 3:41 pm

YES! I only have one baby, but it’s knocks me for a loop as she had reflux and will only sleep with me holding her. I LIVE for my nightly shower and the 20 minutes (if I’m lucky) that I can hand my little bundle of joy over to her daddy.

Thanks for this.

demi February 7, 2013 at 3:44 pm

You are doing awesome. Seriously. Hugs!

Katie C February 7, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Hats of mama! My only comments are I LOVE her little outfit in that first picture! And secondly, I’m glad to see the carrier, because one baby on a hip/back/chest in carrier is the ONLY way to go. Pretty much, especially with all the cooking and worry-about-baby-in-the-food-dropping, a carrier is the best idea. Keep it up!

Cait P. February 7, 2013 at 3:45 pm

This all sounds soo familiar! I was reading this, thinking WOW! I’m glad I’m not the only one who dealt with all of this! And as a Mom of 3 and 2 year old boys (19 months apart) I can tell you, that it will get better!!!!

Kate February 7, 2013 at 3:46 pm

Bless you. You are amazing. Those lucky kids to have such a pretty, cool, wierd in a good way, humorous, dedicated momma. That is all.

Jasmine February 7, 2013 at 3:46 pm

It gets better with time, and all of this craziness will become a dim memory. Do not let that memory get so dim that you have another one. (Just sayin’) As a mom of 3 children myself I am just kidding with that last comment. But there is a lot about babies and toddlers that we block out after time that somehow make us think its a good idea to have another one.

Love your blog, and your children are adorable!! But G looks like he is really half of you or the size of a kindergartner!!! So cute!!!

Rach February 7, 2013 at 3:46 pm

Sound the alarms, WEEEEE-OOOOO WEEEEE-OOOOO WEEEEE-OOOOO, cuteness police!! Your little punkins are too much. And G is getting so big!

Bravo for telling it like it is (again). And re: your share of the wine… relax, I’m on it. (hic) The Bachelor is nearing dangerous levels of crazy this season; just go read recaps on twop-dot-com for the fix!

Kendra February 7, 2013 at 3:47 pm

AMEN. That’s all.

Jesse February 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Man, I’m sorry. I feel like I finally have some life back now that my son is 18 months. Posts like these take away any teeny bit of new baby envy I have. I just can’t go back to that place again (x2!). Two kids IS a big deal.

Jennifer February 7, 2013 at 3:50 pm

That is one adorable picture of you and G. Hang in there! We will love anything you’re able to share and will shower you with virtual cereal marshmallows and sparkle kittens.

Lauren @ T&G February 7, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I totally get the “try not to drop her on anything hot” thing. I am constantly dropping salad, salsa, granola crumbs, whatever, on my baby’s head as I am trying to be mom and eat at the same time. I don’t know how you do all this cooking (well, I do know that you don’t really have a choice). Because on top of, you know, the cooking part, you have to wash all those dishes. Do yall at least have a housekeeper that comes sporadically? You need one. Let B know.

Ivette February 7, 2013 at 3:53 pm

OMG its almost like you live in my house! Is there a spy came somewhere here? I literally put tv on so I can entertain the 3 y/o so I can side nurse the 6 month old to sleep and read my blogs on my cell…..lol No time for wine, no time for Carrie Diaries nothing, just a 10 min shower while the little one screams in his fathers arms….lol Im so glad im not alone!

Katie R-G February 7, 2013 at 3:56 pm

I have a one month old, a 2 year old and a 9 year old. You just put my day in writing, only I don’t get dressed until WAY later in the day..,and I worry that I smell and that my husband will be like EW! So relieved you wrote this. I started worrying that I was alone. Especially with how cold it’s been in the tri-state, we have cabinfevertothemax!!

Jacqueline February 7, 2013 at 3:57 pm

That about sums up my life…I will add that since my youngest is now 1.5 I have managed to fit in some wine time…ok maybe lots of wine time…it will happen.

my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you February 7, 2013 at 3:58 pm

if i lived in pheonixwhatever PA i would come over and help. i would hold that baby ruby for at least 3 full hours and she would be cool with me bc i am as cool, if not cooler than you and she would be all…hey mom…MFAMB is cool, go read some US weekly and watch some housewives. i would also bring some pure paleo soup or whatever you are eating these days. and we would high five all day long at this system. the best system. the sister system. you need a sister friend to come over.

Andrea February 7, 2013 at 3:59 pm

You can do it. You will do it. You ARE doing it. You rock. Congrats.

Did you know that I never left the house for the first year of my son’s life? Not because I was a crazy mental patient, or because he was especially difficult, but because I DIDN’T HAVE THE TIME. I have no idea what we ate all up in here.

Did you know that I have no recollection of my daughter’s first year? Because, like you, I had a toddler, an infant, and a husband who expected to eat OMG YOU WANT TO EAT AGAIN? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

My adult time was spent cleaning our tile floor, because we had a small dog at the time. I remember wishing by then that I was a crazy mental patient.

And I did this without breast-feeding either one of my kids. Not even once. You are busy, mama. Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. I never pass up an opportunity to use that phrase.

Some day, it will all end amazingly. And you will drink a bottle of wine every night, and you will encourage another mother that she can do it and that she will do it.

Because you did it. And you rocked it.

Jess February 7, 2013 at 3:59 pm

Hang in there!! Two kids is more than twice the work, that’s for sure. Which is total bullshit, but it’s true. Not sure why nobody talks about this… maybe it’s because we’re all too horrified about the madness that has become our life?? I have no wisdom for you, but I give you huge kudos for all the work you’re doing, and thank you for finding some time to blog as well.

linden February 7, 2013 at 4:00 pm

When I saw the picture of the boys playing trains, all I could think was, “No. Fuck that.”
If my 16 month old wanted to have some other 16 month old bros come over to play trains I think I might leave the state. More kids can’t possibly be the answer.

You are so brave.

Krista February 7, 2013 at 8:13 pm

It is counterintuitive but sometimes more kids is the answer….as long as they actually play with each other. Even better when those kids come with cool mom friends to drink coffee and gossip with.

Jenn February 7, 2013 at 4:00 pm

“Baby is awake. Stare at her in the video monitor like a mental patient. She goes back to sleep. Whew…”

This, so much.

I’m doing pretty much the exact same thing, but with only one baby. I seriously can’t imagine doing it with two – you are a superstar. I hope you get your glass of wine soon.

TBag February 7, 2013 at 4:11 pm

As an outsider looking in, trying to grasp the “no time” concept is just baffling. I really, really want to grasp it as I am in the process of TTC my first and will inevitably be there at some point. I will have these blog posts to look back on and remember I’m not going through it alone and it’s not “weird.”
Thanks MODG!!
Oh, and PS- I re-read the post from way far a long time ago where you peed on your first stick at 7dpo and got a positive. I then peed on a stick at 9dpo and got a negative….even though I told myself to wait. You got me excited though!!

Tara February 7, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Holy Jesus, you just summed up my life, except find/replace trains with trucks. Little guy is six months old now and it is finally… starting… to get bett… No, I’m not putting that in print because I will totally jinx it.

Jessica February 7, 2013 at 4:24 pm

I feel like this every day, but with one! Ha! It will end. I’m looking forward to that!

erin February 7, 2013 at 4:28 pm

the shower is my happy place. the only place i can be alone and can’t hear the kids screaming. that is, until hubby brings the twins in the bedroom to shower WITH me because it’ll be “easier.” Ummmmm, easier for whom?!

You better believe i nipped that in the bud RREEAAALLLL fast.

tara February 7, 2013 at 4:29 pm

Dude. I don’t even have anything else. Just dude. (Yeah, I don’t have kids. Obv)

Also? That picture of you and G is adorable and I love the fact that the fridge has all the magnets above toddler/baby reaching height.

Angelina Cooke February 7, 2013 at 4:31 pm

Poop stories are way more fun anyway.

Summer February 7, 2013 at 4:35 pm

I mean, as long you post sporadically and keep them full of swear words, I’m going nowhere. And also, I DIED AT THE PIC OF YOU AND G. So keep on keepin on and do what you gotta do, Mama!

Desiree February 7, 2013 at 4:35 pm

OMG…that last picture…love it.

Maggie February 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm

Hang tough sister – you don’t even HAVE 2 under 2, since one has already celebrated his deuce :) It gets better, it really really does, we promise. And then it gets much, much worse. Like 2 kids with homework, a project about goats, 7,000 book reports and 2 different sports on opposite ends of the earth, worse. But its all good – and you will remember these baby days with tears of joy in your eyes, not with the tears of frustration you feel now. Trust us. We’ve been there and back and have survived. Maybe not showered…..but survived :)

Katie R-G February 8, 2013 at 7:14 am

I needed to read this! Thanks for giving hope!

Ashlee February 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm

I heard that MODG. Two girls ages 2 and 1 month. I definitely heard that.

Lindsay February 7, 2013 at 4:45 pm

MODG, this post comes at the perfect time. My proudest mom moment since giving birth to my baby girl last Tues was at 4am today when I managed to hold flailing, wailing Baby Quinn in my left arm as I shuffled off to the bathroom to pee. I realized that I can’t even be alone on the toilet, but sweet lord am I efficient.

Jamie February 7, 2013 at 4:45 pm

Sending you hugs! I was thinking about trying for number two… but this seals the deal for me!

Ann February 7, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Girlfriend I so know what you mean. I am trying to use the bathroom (my only alone time) and read this but suddenly I’m not alone. My two year old twins are playing in my bathroom so there goes my only free five minutes for today. At least my 5 year old let’s me be.

Dawn February 7, 2013 at 4:54 pm

Word. My life exactly. In fact, I’m typing this on my phone while pacing around my house bouncing drooly half crying bundle of farty-man. Praying my 2yo is content with daddy until I finish typing this. I want a fucking martini.

Gini February 7, 2013 at 4:55 pm

THAT PICTURE! You win the internet. <3 <3 <3

Gracie February 7, 2013 at 7:41 pm

You DO win the internet!

Carrie February 7, 2013 at 4:56 pm

Oh my gosh, I love everything about this post SO much I want to print it & carry it around with me! The shower is my awesome adult time too, and best believe I enjoy the hell out of it. And that last picture, it’s beyond great for so many reasons, one of which is all the child-proofing! You aren’t the same person anymore, and either is your house! But it really is the best, right? xo

Amanda February 7, 2013 at 5:00 pm

This is my life too – sadly, I only have one child but the pattern sounds exactly the same. Except no showering alone – ever. Hang in there and looking forward to the next skinny jean post.

Rachael February 7, 2013 at 5:19 pm

My whole life is playing trains. I know it’s awful but I’m really glad I still only have one. I am too selfish for this whole 2 under 2 thing. One is hard enough. You will be so glad you went through this period, because you’ll have two beautiful kiddos that are close together. You are amazing! More amazing than me.

Anna February 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm

We have ‘shops’ instead of trains. Shops can be played anywhere, anytime…ALL THE TIME.

And I snorted out loud at the cheese demands….MOOOAAAARRR CHEESEEE! is a common roar heard in our house – at least it is good for them1

Love that last photo!

Sara February 7, 2013 at 6:05 pm

High-five a million angels, dude. I only have one, and at five months, I’m finally doing shit like cooking a meal or cleaning my house or drying my hair. I’m gonna write a big-ass novelty Hallmark to my future self for when the next baby is here, reminding me that it’s gonna be a long-ass time until I can pee with the door closed. But that the day will come.

Faith February 7, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Oh man, if what you say is true then when baby #2 arrives in April I’m doomed. Doomed. But at least I’m not alone! I just wish husbands understood the gravity of the situation… you know? Like, “But honey, how hard is it to bake/cook/clean/organise with a 2-year-old around?” Well, looks like it’ll become even harder once little brother is here… urgh.

Kelly February 7, 2013 at 6:21 pm

OMG! 100% my life! Thank you for putting it in words!!!

Jaimee February 7, 2013 at 7:32 pm

I just love every one of your posts. I had two boys 17 months apart and I KNOW exactly what it’s like for you right now…it’s just pure chaos! It really does get better!! Once they start playing together and you get to sit down, you will feel human again! My boys are 5 & 6 now and they rock & I have a sweet 6 month old little girl that I get to enjoy without being outnumbered. It is SO different than having two close together! So hang in there, it definitely will get better!

On another note, the “toxic” breast milk runs in my family too…my sister and I both have not been able to breast feed due to the exact things you are going through. My six month old is on Nutramigen and it smells and I hate it, but it’s the only thing I can give her…but she is happy at least. I give you props for going through all of the things you have to try to breast feed her! I was not committed enough to try all of that…I gave it 6 weeks and finally ( with many tears) gave into the formula.

Andrea February 7, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Once upon a time I had two kids, 19 months apart. The first was a boy, the second was a girl. You just brought me right back to those days. Those insane never-do-anything-but-change-diapers-and-take-care-of-babies-and-toddlers days. Those were the hardest days. I have four kids now and, I kid you not, it was never harder than when we had those first two so close together. You are in the trenches, man.

Sophia February 7, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Shower time is the BEST, isn’t it?
I totally get where you are coming from. You have just described my life minus the baby, but add 2 pre-pubescent boys to the mix and being hugely pregnant. Shit is going to get REAL around here in 9 weeks time. 4 kids – palm smacks face! But I, like you wouldn’t change it for the world I just wish to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I could get a GD break once in a while! Much love and future wine to you.

Susan from GA February 7, 2013 at 8:17 pm

YAY! You are alive! I thought maybe they had done you in! lol You are a GREAT mom…hang in there!

Alycia February 7, 2013 at 8:39 pm

I’m preggo with baby number two and while I know this is inevitable hearing you recount your day is freaking me out! Mine will be 2.5 years apart….need to start mentally preparing for this craziness!

Meredith February 7, 2013 at 8:53 pm

God, yes. This is my life too. This week we all got the stomach flu and my kids (ages 4 and 1) actually threw up at the same effing time. The same time! And I want to know where my merit badge is. I keep hoping someone will give me a medal and play a song while I watch the flag raised over my living room, and I know they won’t (who are they? Probably my in laws and parents, who are both in effing florida right now instead of babysitting so I can go drink a margarita and feel human for a minute). Not that I’m bitter. Your post is, like, my medal, though, my reward, because it made me laugh SO HARD, after a week like this. Thank you for devoting your precious free time to the post! Now I have to go finish my half-watched episode of Bunheads.

Heather February 7, 2013 at 9:21 pm

First – props for doing what you are for Ruby. I was dairy and soy free and that was hard enough.

Second – showers do rock.

Finally – I love hearing about your kids.

jamie February 7, 2013 at 9:23 pm

You’re a great mom! Your posts scared me to death sometimes when I think about having baby #2 though. I also want to say – your house looks fantastically clean! I only have one and my house looks a mess – baby crap everywhere!

Chrissy February 7, 2013 at 9:46 pm

Yeah…three boys in five years,,,found out all three needed to be grain free, lactose free, corn free and soy free just cause it is gross and GMO when the youngest was five months old. Not sure I slept more than four hours a night for several years. It is better now, we are still on the diet but they are older (baby is now four) and they all play on their own and can get snacks and their own water….I can even shower when they are awake because they will come get me if anything happens and they will justbe playing Legos anyway…. But for awhile there, when the baby was still a baby and the middle one was three and the older one was five with freaking homework and so on…..thought I was going to die of exhaustion. You are doing this thing, Amanda. All will be well. I love the posts you are doing now…they pretty much define “authenticity”.

Katie E February 7, 2013 at 9:50 pm

What people without children don’t realize is that this is adult life. It is the adultest adult life ever. Keeping tiny humans alive is hard. It is a level of ongoing selflessness where you feel guilty for being “selfish” by doing something like reading a book. Keep going girl. We will see you when we see you and miss you when you don’t have time.

Leslie February 7, 2013 at 10:04 pm

email me your address, I will send you a free bottle of the only eczema lotion you will ever need!

Leslie February 7, 2013 at 10:04 pm
Rosie February 7, 2013 at 10:05 pm

I remember a few months in at a well visit for #2 the doctor asked if I ever had any “me” time.

I LAUGHED and laughed. Hah. Yeah right. Why do they even ask those questions? NO I didn’t have any “me” time, no we didn’t have a chance to go out on dates, NO there weren’t more than 45 minutes in a day when I wasn’t nursing the baby! It was a choice between showering and eating. Sometimes neither got done.

But after about 6 months, once Ruby starts crawling/sitting up/playing by herself if will be AWESOME because the kids will be sort of playing together and you might even get to sit down with a magazine eating gummy penguins (hidden between the couch cushions so the kids don’t know that every time mom coughs she’s actually eating contraband) for a few minutes!

But it is FRANTIC AND CRAZY like nobody’s business when you go from 1 to 2. Surprisingly, I found the second baby to be a harder transition than #3 & 4 (3-month-old twins), so know that if you have more than two, it’ll probably be easier the next time!

Lauren February 7, 2013 at 10:05 pm

You look like a skinny Minnie AND an awesome mom in the last photo! Good job. ( :

Jessica February 7, 2013 at 10:10 pm

Holy shit, girl! I only have one, but hubby wants the second at 2 years old. You are giving me second thoughts! Hang in there, you are doing great! Going to go have my quality time with my shower now, too! ;)

Here's To A Boring Year February 7, 2013 at 10:28 pm

I have ONE under two and barely get time to shower. The fact that you can still blog tells me you’re superwoman.

Also… What ages does the trains thing start? Cos we have trains but currently no interest, and I’m so ready for some train action! (Will I regret saying that?)

Rebecca Lacey February 7, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Dear MODG,
1. I love that your kitchen looks like a toddler prison.
2. As a fellow mom in the trenches (2.5 year old and 3 month old), I pretend that I haven’t already showered in the am so I can have more “adult time” by myself in the pm. :) My hub can’t remember what he ate for lunch, much less that I’ve already showered for the day. I actually had time to shave my legs yesterday.
3. Thanks for keeping it real. I could build an awesome Lego house for the trains. :)

Jena February 8, 2013 at 11:48 am

#2: Brilliant. I’m stealing that.

colleen February 7, 2013 at 11:08 pm

1. that picture is awesome

2. yes, i miss the whole MODG (heavy on the DG right now), but do this phase and then come drink with us.

3. keep up the good work.

4. remember that babymoon to miami?! take an AFTER babymoon lady. and sleep and shower and yes, maybe have a martini.

Lorissa February 7, 2013 at 11:37 pm

Oh girl. YOU ARE SO AWESOME. Your kids are both napping at the same time. Yeah, you did that!

Seriously, I love how you talk about every detail of your life but I don’t hate you because you’re really not obsessed with yourself…and I LIKE it.

I’m a mom to 3 kids under age 2 (twins and a 4 month old…) and life really does look like this for me too. And its great. And I love taking showers. SO MUCH. But I fear turning off the water because I’m afraid that a baby will be crying.

I love this blog.

K February 8, 2013 at 1:32 am

Thank you THANK YOU for telling it how it is!! Also, Lorissa, about hoping that a baby won’t be crying when you turn off the shower. I have a loud bathroom fan so I get a few more minutes until I turn off the fan before I know.

Lorissa February 8, 2013 at 11:14 am

its true. samesies with the blow dryer… :)

christy February 14, 2013 at 9:45 pm

I thought this was only me!

Jenn February 8, 2013 at 2:18 am

I don’t usually comment on the ‘Big Blogs’ and I know without reading them that most of the comments before me will say the same thing, but still, I want you to hear it once again: it gets better. It will get better. I have four little kids and I cried myself to sleep for years. It’s too much, it’s too hard, that’s too many kids, they’re too little, I made a horrible mistake, it will NEVER END, but it does. It did. It gets a little better every day. Seriously. And I used to roll my eyes and have to stick my hand in my pocket to avoid slapping people who gently told me “It gets better,” so I can imagine you doing the same right now, but whatever. It does get better.

Stacy February 8, 2013 at 6:49 am

Thank the Jesus in the sky that G is still napping. I had twins a week or more before you had Ruby and I have a 27 month old daughter. She will not nap anymore…..Happy freaking New Year. I got her to nap one day because Mommy just kept crying and begging her to sleep. I’m sure it had more to do with the fact she pulled her camera down onto her head once, pooped in her pull up, and pulled her lamp down and it scared her. Granted she still must stay in their for her quiet time but for the love she will not sleep.

I would take everything out of her room but we have our house on the market right now so not possible. Because that’s what sane people do with 2 newborns and a toddler. Keep your house clean.

Megan February 8, 2013 at 9:46 am

You’re doing great. Hang in there. XOXO.

Kristen Waby/Kristensfitnessnook February 8, 2013 at 10:24 am

I love you for you honesty. I’m preggers with no 2 and it’s refreshing to hear the real side of it. If I see you doing some home organization labeling project next week though, I will throw up ;)

Jill February 8, 2013 at 10:31 am

How do you know it’s what you are eating that is causing exema and mucus? I am wondeirng because my son has the same and my doctors have never even mentioned it was possible that it was a reaction to what I eat. They said he is a probable asthmatic with enviromental allergies (can’t officially diagnose it until 2 years old) and gave him a nebulizer with steroids. I don’t know if its going to work yet because we just started but he was literally born with congestion and exema that hasn’t gone away. I read on Kellymom before that when formula fed babies have digestive issues or exema, no one thinks it’s what the cow ate and that sort of made sense to me. I was like if there is a problem, it must be me. It must be my milk even though my doctor never even mentioned that as a possiblility. I just wonder why it’s always the breastmilk when there are a bunch of other probable explanations.

christy February 14, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Well, all those things are “allergy induced” though. And it could also be other things as well; soaps, detergent, pet dander, seasonal allergies, ect. But an infant that is only consuming breast milk, there is a good chance there is something in that bothering them as well. I have allergies, asthma, and eczema. And there are external triggers, but there are food allergies normally as well. For me it seems to be beans and soy. You can usually pinpoint it to things that make it worse. But, understand though- There is no cure for these things, you can only avoid triggers and hope they grow out of it.

Natalie February 8, 2013 at 11:42 am

As a mom of a kid with eczema, his is ALL environmental. If he’s stressed, he breaks out. If we change laundry detergent, he breaks out. If we get new lotion, he breaks out. There are a few food triggers, but nothing that’s severe enough to drive myself bonkers trying another elimination diet. My suggestion? Try using non-scented, dye free detergents, lotions, soaps to help with it.

And? Keep your head up b/c the craziness gets better. Or at least more manageable.

Jena February 8, 2013 at 11:45 am

Last night, before putting E down, we indulged him in watching Leap Frog cartoon, Phonics Farm, as a family. Just as we got to the BEST song (“A.E.I.O.U”…it’s a straight up Grammy contender if I’ve ever heard one) and are all singing our hearts out, the 20-something guys that live across the street from us knock on our door, asking if we want to come over to a party at their place that night. It starts at 10pm. STARTS at 10pm. My bedtime is usually 10pm. And I’m singing along with a green cat about vowels. Seriously?

Cheryl February 8, 2013 at 1:44 pm

My bra is off to you, lady. You are doing this mom of two thing and doing it hard. It’s true no one can understand until they walk through the fire themselves.
I can’t wait to stop breastfeeding only because I want a margarita.
Modg, thanks a ton for your cloth diaper post. Thanks to your conviction about BumGenius I went and ordered a full arsenal. If you had wavered on your love I would have maybe been lost. But these diapers are the bees knees. I love them, Zoey loves them and the baby penguins love them even if they don’t know it.
Hugs!

Lindsay @ The Live-In Kitchen February 8, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Oh man, that sounded just like my day. Except now I have three of them (under 4). Its INSANE. Our lady parts are definitely crazy for continually talking us into cranking these kids out. Love them though! And your blog. Thanks for the real talk.

Debbie February 8, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Geez! I’ve only got one rug rat, but I am in medical school and there ain’t no wine time here either. Even IF there was, I’d be out like a light in 30 minutes because of the sleep deprivation. Funny how a trip to the grocery store sans kids is like a damn vacation at this point. But I was going to say..tell B to take the kids and get yourself out of the house for an hour already! Call it a V-day present if you have to!

Kaili February 8, 2013 at 11:37 pm

That last picture = best picture ever.

Nina Amelia February 9, 2013 at 4:57 am

Wow, MODG. Stealing my life and then making a blog post about it. Really nice. Pffffff…!! :p

Lauren February 9, 2013 at 7:22 am

Showering…. ain’t no momma got time for that!

Katie February 9, 2013 at 10:01 am

Try lauricidin for the yeast. I take a scoop before bed anytime my daughter (still nursing) or I feel icky. I find that congestion is the first sign of yeast in my body. The stuff is like a miracle. The first time you take it you’ll feel awful for a couple hours (hence the before bed recommendation) but then it works miracles.
http://www.amazon.com/Lauricidin%C2%AE-Pure-Monolaurin-Free-Shipping/dp/B004I8SMOQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360422004&sr=8-1&keywords=lauricidin

Erin February 9, 2013 at 10:52 am

Oh MODG, I love you, your blog and your honesty. I have only one (7 months) but I can relate. You are doing amazing. Hang in there, because like you wrote before in your fabulous PSA, it will get better. Oh, and I love the other poster’s suggestion of taking a post-babymoon! I think every mom deserves one.

Gudrun B February 9, 2013 at 1:00 pm

oh so down to earth!!!!!!!!!!!
i am trying hard to think back 27 years and how did i do it? because now i am not sure i’d be any more efficient than what i read!
seriously though, how did i take care of 3 kids, none of these so nifty modern convenience gadgets for the kitchen and for a while i did not even have a washer in the house, off to the laundromat it was NIGHTMARE!
but hang in there! the time you spend with your kids now will pay off! and at least you can check back here on how you did it :)

Brianne February 9, 2013 at 1:17 pm

you. are. a. rockstar.
It will end- I promise, this was me last winter/spring…you are building awesome humans.

Yegi Cole February 9, 2013 at 3:07 pm

God bless you for posting this. Sooooo refreshing to hear that someone else has basically my exact same day! ONE DAY, we will take long, leisurely showers WHENEVER WE WANT TO again…..or pee, or poop, or eat….you know, human stuff! I want to be a daddy when I grow up.

Tori February 9, 2013 at 5:42 pm

MODG, I think you are doing great! And you deserve some grown up time–and not just because we all love your posts. :) Can you have a mother’s helper come a few times a week? We could crowd source fund the heck out of it. Your loyal readers would love to help.

babyrocks February 9, 2013 at 10:11 pm

Oh you so need to make this choo choo massage shirt for G/you.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vULp8KRPf_Q/TzsrEUxPUsI/AAAAAAAAAp4/Vjqs2FcaYfA/s1600/TrainMassage1.jpg

Christy February 9, 2013 at 10:56 pm

As “mom of 2 under 2″, this post made me oh so happy! I’m 31, and was a fun loving, career orientated (by day)- party goer (by night) living in Southern California, and having a BLAST! Loved “Martini girl’s” comment! Because i was her! Living a fabulous life and TOTALLY judging those “moms” that couldn’t control their kids in public, and looked like a hot mess trying to! I was all “NO WAY would i EVER let my kids act like that!” And fast forward a couple years. I got laid off, we moved back to arkansas (ugh) And i’m like “what the fuck ever, just leave me alone.” Well that’s what i’m thinking anyway, but i don’t say it. I don’t know what happens to us, but things change, dear. Now my main concern is trying to be Martha Stewart. We’re just like you guys (there was lots of breastfeeding, allergies/intolerances, and the ’2kidsunder2″ thing, and i much prefer hippie shit too). And like i said in comments before, i want to kill the tennis moms of four, that “seem” to have all their shit together. And have makeup on, hair done, and have actually taken off their sweat pants. Like you’ve said “shit is real”. This is ALL we have time for!!! And, i’ve never been an anxious person till i had two. Do you experience this? Most of the time i tell myself it just has to be normal. But other times i worry the last pregnancy threw my chemistry off balance. I really get very very anxious when both kids are screaming, and destroying the house, and not listening to a word i say. I’m always scared to admit this too my friends and appear like i’m a mess (cause i am)!
Oh, and tomorrow we start our 4 weeks of Phase 1, of the elimination diet (my 19 month old and i are having severe eczema flair ups). So i’m hoping that goes well (ie even more cooking in my future too). I’m sure you’re already doing this, but for Ruby’s eczema try out the Cetaphil prods if you haven’t already. For bath time (as limited as you can), use an oatmeal soak and a little tee tree oil in the water. Then i rub olive oil/or coconut oil all over them right before they get out (and do a quick rinse). These are the things i’ve had the best luck with! Oh, and stick to the probiotics. I’ve been reading great things about the benefits of breastfeeding while on pb, and the reduction of eczema symptoms. Thanks for making my life seem more normal!!!

Alicia February 11, 2013 at 9:40 am

Hey there, Long time reader. I have a question for you about probiotics if you don’t mind sharing. Your contact page froze on me so if you get to this comment (busy mom – I know how it is) please email me. Thanks so much!

Mo February 11, 2013 at 11:04 am

One time a friend of mine (with no kids) said to me, “You know, you can’t just stop doing stuff because it’s HARD.” When she said “stuff,” she meant “stuff outside your house or that is fun or that is adult themed.”

I punched her.

Now she has a baby, and I CANT WAIT to throw that one in her face.

You know, in a loving friend way.

Kate February 11, 2013 at 3:15 pm

OMG. I have 3 month old twins and a 2 year old and this post really spoke to me!! This is how I feel every day. I will have my husband read this so he understands. Its actually amazing that I read this b/c they all are napping. oh wait there is a baby crying. of course!

J February 11, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Posted something similar to FB too. I am sharing this because I hope it might be helpful. My son was diagnosed with a life-threatening allergy to nuts at 9 months through RAST testing (blood) by Dr. Wood, pediatric allergist, at Johns Hopkins. One of his most prevalent symptoms was full body eczema, which did not respond to any elimination diets. We were given Epipens and instructions on allergy-avoidance in his diet, as well as ours (we’d been unknowingly exposing him to nuts when we would eat them at home and handle the baby without washing our hands!) Eczema/food allergy/asthma are the trifecta of allergic disease. If she is experiencing severe eczema, you really should consider a consult with a pediatric allergist, in case she does have a food allergy. Also, it can take 6 months to get in to a good one. Something to think about. Eczema with a baby is tough. Message me if I can help!

kate February 12, 2013 at 3:25 am

WORD.

That is all I have time to say because I have to go prop up my screaming 8-month-old and play trains with my two-year-old.

Karen February 12, 2013 at 6:33 pm

Girl. It’s completely ok to complain. People who make well into 6 figures complain at times and they chose their job as well. Complaining because your kids are making you crazy or you could literally kill for an hour alone at Target is perfectly acceptable. I have 2 gremlins and I adore them to pieces but when we were at the toddler-and-infant-and-my-youngest-didn’t-sleep-through-the-night-or-nap-until-she-was-four stage, I thought I was going to lose it. Sometimes complaining to someone who understood was the only way to get it off my chest and not resent the adorable little monsters. So, yes, you chose this life but it doesn’t mean you can’t complain occasionally. Hang in there, mine are 13 (today) and almost 10 and it really does get better. Until horomones, at least.

Salt February 14, 2013 at 10:17 pm

I honestly don’t know how 2u2 moms do it. Or really any mom with multiple children. I get overwhelmed sometimes and I only have 1. Hang in there. Also I like your Beco. That thing has been a lifesaver in my house.

Lisa @bitesforbabies February 17, 2013 at 10:55 am

I HEAR YA!!! I have a 22 month old and a 3 month old! No need to tell you about my days! ;-)

Meg February 18, 2013 at 11:02 am

I’ve never commented before (but been reading for some time) and this post just struck a chord with me as I frantically try and decide what to do with my maybe 20 minutes while my 8 week old is asleep. Eat something?! Take a shower?! (Won’t get to dry my hair though) Work on his baby book?! Clean some things?! Cook some things?! And by the time I decide what to do he’s probably going to be awake anyways. I’m surprised I got through this comment actually. This is my first baby and when I find the time (hah!) I plan on re-reading all your posts about G from the beginning. Thank you MODG!!

Linds February 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Just found your blog, you are hilarious. This post cracked me up but also made me deeply worry as I’m currently pregnant with my first and I really like my adult evenings. :)

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