IT DOES END: A Public Service Announcement from MODG.

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Do you know what’s been getting me through these months? You know, the months where you look at your life and you’re all, HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THIS GO ON? “This” being, the 20 minute cat naps and wake ups right as you finally are able to poop alone. Or all of the digestive issues that make you want to cry when your baby smells like your husband after a taco and a Yuengling. Or the insane cabin fever that comes with 2 kids under 2 in January. That stuff. What’s getting me through is just knowing that it does in fact END.

I know that sounds simple. “Duh, we told you that” (says everyone I’ve talked to ever). It doesn’t matter. When you are a neurotic mother blogging freak, you don’t believe anyone. And really, you don’t know until it happens. I remember when G was 2 months old thinking, this is it. I have to legitimately sign my life over to this screaming chunk of chunk forever. Never again can I online shop while watching The Bachelor (most dramatic season yet) and drink red wine with a side of dark chocolate in the peace and quiet of my bedroom behind a locked door (B.). But it happens. It does happen. It’s just a matter of getting there.

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G at 2 months old. This is what a baby looks like who nurses every 20 minutes.

 

So I’m writing this now for all of you staring into the mirror at your dark circles and frizzy hair with your first baby wondering what has become of your life. But I know you’ll read this and you’ll sort of believe me and you will feel a little bit better. But you won’t REALLY believe me. The only way you’ll know is when it happens to you too.

I worried about every.single.thing. with G. And I’m still a worrier. I mean, let’s be honest, never have I been kept awake in distress over anyone’s farts more in my life. Although B’s farts come in a close 2nd. But for different reason. And you’ll worry too about that sound that your baby made. You’ll worry about the poop that isn’t quite green but isn’t mustardy but isn’t seedy but maybe is frothy. And you’ll worry about growth charts and vaccines and sleep and your sagging boobs. But this time, for me, I know that babies are tougher than we give them credit for. No Dr. Sears, my baby won’t be a total life failure at life if I don’t pick it up immediately as it’s crying. Because in reality I have a toddler. And she’s going to have to WAIT sometimes. And she’s happier than a clam at a Britney concert.

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Ruby at 2 months. Benefiting from all of my sexy mom smarts.

But now, I’m going to call it like it is: I can say all of this now because of my previous knowledge but ALSO because Ruby is not colicky like G was. If you have a colicky baby (yes it will also end) but my god in heaven, I feel for you. And the people that tell you how much better it will get at 3, 5, 6, 10 months. Tell them to F themselves. They don’t know. It’s a very special club. But from one club member to another, even IT gets better (I just can’t tell you when). Tough it out, you’ll be SO much stronger with your next baby.

It’s a GD roller coaster. I have this perspective TODAY. Tomorrow, I’ll be crying in my Paleo flax seed pumpkin non “oat” meal. And I’ll tell everyone to F off and it’s never going to get better. That’s why, on days like this, I document this shit. Then I go back and read it. And then I say, right. it gets better.

Because honestly, I’m not just writing this for you. I’m writing this for me. The me who forgets every other day. But I have the luxury of looking at my crazy ass happy toddler and knowing that my little peanut butter bag will get there too one day.

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Read it, know it, love it.

xoxo

MODG

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POSTED IN: Awesome things,babies,Mom Stuff,Toddlers,You think you know but you have no idea

{ 49 comments }

Bridget January 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Thanks MODG for this one .. I have a nearly 3 week old, my first, and there are moments where I think I may be starting to go crazy from the lack of sleep. I’m also afraid my eyes have permanent dark circles under them which I will never be able to get rid of. But I guess this is what I signed up for!

Kiran(Masala Chica) January 19, 2013 at 2:23 pm

It gets better. I swear it does. You’re doing great. And BTW, that last picture of the two of you is precious. Stinkin’ precious.

Katie January 19, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Love the shot of you with Ruby in the Moby. My baby came early and I needed to finish out the quarter before maternity leave (I’m a professor) so we spent the first several weeks of her life like that! Memories….

Kristi L January 19, 2013 at 3:41 pm

So true!!! amen sista!

Nicole January 19, 2013 at 3:50 pm

Love the pictures! Had a similar experience with my son being colicky. My husband thought we ruined our lives! Haha! My daughter has been much more of a breeze. She even takes a few days break from pooping. So I don’t have to deal with spraying ebf poop off cloth diapers every day. She’s so thoughtful.

Annalisa January 19, 2013 at 3:51 pm

so true! i have an 8 week old too and a 20 mo. old — the hard days with the newborn are somewhat easier because i know that the hard and bad end!

Jessica January 19, 2013 at 4:30 pm

The picture of you and Ruby in that wrap made my womb ache – stop that! That being so sweet and mommy/baby lovey together! Or at least put out a statement clearly exonerating yourself of liability for any pregnancies said to be caused by looking at that photo. Also, yay you!

Tamara January 22, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Jessica = awesome!
What she said, verbatim! :)

Faith January 19, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Oh goodness, I’ve never loved a blog more than I do this one! Mostly because you don’t sugar-coat motherhood or only show flattering, well-lit photos of your kids, you’re REAL and honest and I LOVE YOU for it! I’m currently 29-weeks pregnant with our second, due in April when my first will be well into the “terrible twos”. Lord, help me.

I recently read a blog post by another blogger that really resonated with me, and I hope it encourages you as well: http://www.askmoxie.org/2012/09/free-but-not-cheap.html .

Love you, MODG!

Marla January 19, 2013 at 5:06 pm

My husband has tried to tell me this stuff all day long as I have cried my eyes out. I’m still in the two under two club…both reflux and colic babies. They are now almost 9 and 23 months. There are still days when I’m not sure it’s going to get better. So, thank you for the perspective.

Cheryl January 19, 2013 at 5:42 pm

Thank you, Modg!
I am that mom with the frizzy hair.
I am on week 14 of the first time, brand new baby roller coaster of doom. This shit is real.
I want to sleep. I want to poop without my butt nuts shouting. I want to do my granny sitz bath without wondering if baby will wake up crying and I also need to nurse upon said sitz bath. I want to go shopping and spend long minutes making decisions about which shoe I should buy without wondering if my baby is getting the super death flu from the salesperson. I want my husband to be able to give her a bottle at 1, 3, 5, and 8 am but she doesn’t know how to swallow anything she hasn’t sucked out of me personally.
Does it get better? Really? I want to believe you.
WHEN, tell me WHEN?
I swear to god I’ll be optimistic if you just give me a date when the needing will slack off just a bit.
Just a bit.

jillian January 19, 2013 at 6:24 pm

thank you for this. today. my 3 week old is constantly fussy and yesterday i was told to cut x,y and z out of my diet. he constantly eats, spits up, poops all shades of green and cries.

these last three weeks have been challenging and i feel like it will never change so thank you for this. i DO feel a little better!

Becky January 19, 2013 at 7:49 pm

My GOD your kids are cute!

And so glad things are looking up for you :)

Lolo January 19, 2013 at 8:11 pm

So true MODG! My little C was SUPER colicky and is still not sleeping through the night now (at almost 7 months). I (like you) had an unplanned C-Section and was devastated that I couldn’t have the natural childbirth that I had envisioned. I also had some insomnia issues in addition to being woken up every 2-4 hours. Anyway, if one more person told me that she would turn a corner at 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 4 months, etc. I wanted to vomit in their face and slap the IKNOWEVVERYTHING pity smile off their stupid face. But now that things have gotten a lot better (minus sleeping through the night), I think next time, I’ll at least believe me. Good call on the documentation. I don’t know if I’d believe me without proper documentation. But now that she’s a happy smiley girl, it makes it all worth it and I have the pictures to prove it.

Rachael January 19, 2013 at 8:35 pm

There is so much truth in this. Everything is a phase. The good things are a phase, the bad things are a phase. It always changes. I am pumping myself up to get pregnant with a 2nd.

tara January 19, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Love love love those pictures! I can’t believe how much Ruby and G look alike!!

Mrs. Dubose January 19, 2013 at 9:23 pm

I have been in the parenting game for the last 23 years and this old adage is true, “The days are long and the years are short”. I think you are doing a good job! xo

Anna January 20, 2013 at 12:03 am

So true. I am already repeating this to myself in preparation for baby no. 2. I am DREADING it even starting and we have 12 weeks or so to go until she makes an appearance!

I laugh in peoples’ faces when they ask if I am worried about giving birth…that was a single DAY…it was the two years of sleepless hell that followed that killed me (and no, that’s not an exaggeration – she slept through once in those two years). That said, days were pretty awesome at times (NOT the newborn stage though) and I now officially have THE PERFECT child (freakishly so – my friends all hate me for it)…so it seems to all balance out in the end.

But my fingers are still crossed for this next kid to be a sleeper…anything over 20 minutes at a time and I will be ecstatic.

vicki January 20, 2013 at 12:34 am

ruby is so pretty!!

Here's To A Boring Year January 20, 2013 at 6:07 am

Monkey slept seven hours straight a couple of nights ago – that’s the second time ever in his life, and he’s just about smack on 18 months. So I’m feeling everyone in the non-sleepers club. Still waiting for it to pass… And please oh please can I have a sleeper next time?

But I think it really is a public service announcement to say that hey, my baby slept like crap for years and nursed every 20 minutes – and for a lot if babies that is normal! So many parenting sites make you feel like something is wrong if your baby never naps longer than 30 minutes, but its normal!! Let this be a note for my future self – I wish someone had told me when I was in the thick of it.

You go Modg, sounds like you’re doing great!

Mo January 20, 2013 at 10:23 am

I’d like to second (or third or fourth) this.

Maybe it’s the perspective that comes with a second baby….maybe it is just having survived your first…but things do move on from that bubble of terrible, amazing, horrible neverending diaper that is the first few months/first year.

even if it doesn’t seem like it will at the time.

Kristin January 20, 2013 at 12:18 pm

Thank you for this post. As a FTM of a newborn, I really love getting a real perspective. People keep telling me it will get better and certain aspects have already.

Hannah Elise January 20, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Thanks for this, MODG. I’ve been in the Two Under Two club since my second arrived on December 30th… and #1 won’t be two years old until March. O_o I wouldn’t say that he was “colicky” per se, as I have heard horror stories that sound a lot worse than what I went through, BUT I was not diagnosed as gluten-intolerant until he was nine months old.. and then at fourteen months old he had a course of antibiotics that I’m convinced screwed with his digestive system even further. We’re still in the process of figuring out just what triggers him… I’m actually on the road to get him evaluated for sensory processing disorder. Suffice to say… yeah. Good days and bad days. So I needed this reminder that it WILL end. Thanks.

(Oh, and the whole “when-your-first-is-[insert special situation here]-and-demands-a-lot-from-you” but your second ends up “hey-peace-and-lollipops-dude” … it’s amazing to realize that hey, they’re just different. And you learned a ton from #1 being so difficult.)

Carrie January 20, 2013 at 8:47 pm

You’re right, it DOES get better. But you’re also right, you’ll only believe it once it happens to you. We had the worst experience with colic, and sometimes I wonder how the heck we made it through. But the reward seems to be the sweetest and most easy-going 16 month old there is. I feel guilty when I see my friends with toddlers the same age who are c.r.a.z.y. But I bet they were feeling guilty when my ears were practically bleeding from dealing with a non-stop screaming baby. Things always work out. xo

Kelsey January 20, 2013 at 10:08 pm

I have found myself relating to so many of your posts lately. With a 5, 3 and 9 week old I feel some major cabin fever going on here! I am sitting with the babes in my Moby right now fighting off a child asking me for kool-aid every 3 seconds. AHHHH – Thank goodness it DOES end :)

The Other Jen January 20, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Ruby looks just like you!

Anne January 21, 2013 at 12:04 am

I used to worry so much. What will my baby cursed with colic (colicky sounds way too cute for that shiz) grow up to be like? The answer is awesome. Just like his brother, a scant 13 months older. And just like my husband and me. Awesome. All of the craziness/misery, where minutes seem like hours, where we perfected the hateful glare at the person who spent too much time in the solace of the bathroom, morph into memories of goodness. Swear. It’s worth it. Now, my kids are self sufficient, super-smart, and I have plenty of alone time.

Heather P. January 21, 2013 at 11:30 am

That first picture…your son…such a goofball…LOVE IT!!!

Also glad to hear things are going better this time around, and that G. and Ruby seem to be getting along great. Ruby also makes an awfully cute blogger!

Mollie January 21, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I have 8 month old twins and know all too well the roller coaster that you are on. In my sane moments, which I feel are too few and far between, I tell myself the same thing… it will end. But then I wonder how much I’ll miss these times. Will it then be time for another baby? Time will tell!

Jasmine January 21, 2013 at 12:41 pm

My first child was a dream. Slept through the night, ate, crapped not a big crier, etc, etc. So I had another one, that child came out a demon, he was coilicky, puked on a dime (until almost 4) never slept through the night. It was hard, so incredibly hard and then all of a sudden it wasn’t hard. Then I kinda forgot about how hard it was and had another one. She wasn’t hard until she started walking and talking (10 months)

Then wow, it was hard. But now my kids are 16, 12 & 7 and all I can say is it was so incredibly worth it. You’re right MODG, it does get better and than in an instant they are 16 and you are wondering where the heck time has gone. Now I have a whole different set of issues and they are hard, but I know that it will get better. Great post!

Jennah January 21, 2013 at 2:22 pm

important question: so is that just a regular old graco high chair without the cover that you can wash but never want to? because if child services won’t come for me, that seems like a brilliant solution to get rid of having to deal with 3 month old cheese smushed into the stupid washable covers. our graco is a collapsible model.

Erica V January 21, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Your kids are sooo freakin cute!!!! Glad things are getting better

Erin January 21, 2013 at 5:03 pm

OMG, thank you. I have a 6.5 month old and am having one of those ‘baby for sale!’ kind of days. We’re going through sleep hell, nap hell, solid food hell. I didn’t even know those places existed prior to having a child. Thanks for reminding that these tough times WILL end and that in this crazy 6.5 month old gremlin there is my sweet, sweet boy.

Cortnie January 21, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I totally know that it does in fact get better – but you can bet I’ll be reading this post a million times a day when baby #3 gets here.

xoxo
c.

Lauren @ T&G January 21, 2013 at 6:34 pm

I have a colicky baby. It was bad. REAL BAD. For about six weeks. Now it’s not as severe, and I have learned to just deal with it rather than stress out about it. But people (aka my mom) just do not seem to get it. The same way people (aka my mom) just don’t get it if you have terrible morning sickness. But just like everyone told me the morning sickness would get better and it did, so has the colic. So now I try to do my best to be as sympathetic as possible to anyone with pregnancy or baby drama, because that shit is isolating and sometimes you just need someone to validate that yes what you’re going through sucks major ass.

Annnnd Gavin and Ruby are so beautiful! What cuties!

Kelsi January 21, 2013 at 9:46 pm

I just wanted tho say YAY!!

Your babes are gorgeous and you rock motherhood like J. Timberlake rocked every females body in 2003. Yeah you’re that good!

If, and that’s a BIG IF, I ever decide to have baby #2 I’ll be looking back on this post often I’m sure!

:)

Sarah January 22, 2013 at 10:29 am

Love the pictures, Ruby is beautiful and already looks all girl!

mommylisa January 22, 2013 at 11:50 am

And then one day you are sitting at a movie and to the sad pre-movie music your daughter is making up her own lyrics about popcorn – and you realize she is SEVEN and can read almost everything. Then you sign her up for acting camp. ;)

demi January 23, 2013 at 12:10 pm

So happy for you! Your family is beautiful!! :)

Jeannine January 23, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Geeze I needed this post! It was almost as good as a strong gin and tonic without the tonic….almost.

Christy January 24, 2013 at 2:12 pm

Great insight lady!!

debbie January 25, 2013 at 6:51 am

Much respect to you! <3

Laura C. January 25, 2013 at 5:03 pm

I NEEEEEED Your kitchen table. Please tell me you got it somewhere that I can copy you and buy the same one. It’s seriously the table I’ve been searching for!

Amanda G January 25, 2013 at 9:07 pm

I super needed this today! I’m 11 weeks in with my first and you pretty much described where I’m at. I sat and cried for the loss of my lazy days of Internet shopping, sleeping all damn day and over dosing on daytime tv So, I kinda believe you, but I kinda don’t. The point is, I now have hope. THANKS!!

Sarah January 28, 2013 at 4:14 pm

Dude… this post came from, like, heaven. Like the clouds parted and the angels sang as I read this in my Google reader. Because my sweet boy is 2.5 weeks old and I seriously was just sobbing to my husband yesterday that I was the #1 most emotional mess of a mom ever, and surely every single other woman on earth was perfect and put together and holding everything together beautifully. So this and all the comments has made me feel so much less alone… THANK YOU.

And oh holy beejesus the worrying. It’s out of control. As in, I’ve convinced myself that I gave him brain damage by pulling a onesie over his head.

Sommer January 29, 2013 at 7:28 am

Unrelated to everything you actually wrote in this post: RUBY is effing adorable. I mean, seriously beautiful baby. Good work.

diabetes diet January 29, 2013 at 9:36 am

I haven’t had bread in months! But this? is tempting, I’m gonna try it slathered in almond butter or honey lol. Thanks for the recipe it will be great for my parents who are trying to transition to the Paleo lifestyle :]

P February 1, 2013 at 7:08 am

1) I hate, hate, HATED when ppl said, “Oh, it gets so much better.” Really? When?! Give me exact time, date and place or go F yourself! I found that sappy wappy songs helped me more (“It won’t be like this for long” by Darius Rucker. Who knew that Hootie was now country!)
B) Paloe diet = sooo hard. No dairy? Biz-cuse me?! Isn’t it just a kick in the nuts, er, boobs that you can’t have dairy, yet someone is feeding off of your milk how many times a day?

And yes, I realize I did 1) and B). Great topic for post MODG!

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