Baby’s explosive diarrhea = DJ Tanner’s pimple on picture day. But messier.

Dudes. Shit has been real around here.

I forgot I had a computer. Let alone a blog of nonsense to run. I remembered when I had a dream that one slapped me in the face with a piece of bologna.

I’m going to declare something here and now: I will never declare anything ever again. (except this declaration of non declaring). Because as soon as I do, BAM another bologna slap. This time on the ass.

Last time I was all, lalala this is great, I can handle this, Ruby is doing so well, life is happy. The MOMENT as a mother you say shit like that, you know your life is about to be over. It’s like in ANY TV sitcom. DJ Tanner is like, my hair is SO big today. It’s going to be a great day! And then before you know it, Kimmy Gibbler is all, but it’s picture day at school and I bet you didn’t see that giant PIMPLE on your FACE and the boy you like is standing behind you! It’s just like that.

So in this hand of baby poker, Ruby sees G’s baby gas issues and raises him explosive watery diarrhea that smells like a B poop. If you know about breastfeeding, their poop doesn’t smell and it’s mustardy and seedy. I still don’t know how the seeds get in there. But Ruby is all, um, no, my little body is going to explode brown water all over you once ever 4 days and it will smell like the apocalypse. I know it’s cute and funny but it’s not because this is a real life sign of a food intolerance. A food intolerance after I cut out dairy already. For a month. And soy. AND gluten. I know.

For those of you who were around when G was developing these issues, you know I went down the path of a leaky gut and the GAPS diet to heal it. Well I’m being pointed in that direction again. For those of you who don’t know (and I didn’t), many people have “leaky guts”. Many people live life just fine without symptoms. Others have things like bladder issues (raises hand), IBS (raises hand), depression (raises hand) or ADD, autism, all kinds of things. These don’t mean for sure that your gut is leaking, but there is a strong link. Literally, it means that the walls of your intestines have tiny holes in them that are leaking foods into your blood stream. Your body attacks the food like an invader, which can cause issues. For me, the food is getting into my milk in a form that is way too complex for a baby to digest. This means that ANY food I eat could cause an issue for Ruby. Because it’s not the food itself, it’s how my body is processing it.


I know.

And yes, Ruby and I have been on 145 dollars of probiotics for about a month now. Kill me. And don’t tell B.

How do I know that I have this? I don’t for sure. But I have a lot of the stuff that goes along with it that I mentioned above. I also took MONTHS AND MONTHS of antibiotics in college for misdiagnosed UTI’s (which wreaks havoc on your system). I have strong cravings for sugar always and aversion to fermented foods like yogurts. And the fact that both of my children now are reacting to every and all foods that I eat. In general food in tolerance is rare in breastfed babies. So to have them be this intolerant to everything shows a sign of something bigger.

3 days ago I broke down. I was sure my milk was destroying my baby. It was a low low moment. We decided to give Ruby the super expensive 30 dollar a can formula for 24 hours. And it was the worst day for me so far with Ruby. Not because formula is poison. It’s not at all and I was happy to do it if it helped. But I literally couldn’t handle it. Ruby was rooting for comfort and I’d have to hand her to B. I sat by and watched B give her bottles as I cried feeling like again, that I was broken. I cried because I felt like I was doing EVERYTHING I could to breastfeed this child and she was still sick.

That feeling that I had that day was worse than any feeling I’ve had missing out on food. So I decided that night that I will keep breastfeeding her. I’m not giving up yet. And I’m going to heal my gut.

I am not doing the GAPS diet, which made me pass out on my steps and vomit. But I am now on the Paleo diet. This basically  means you eat like a caveman. Dudes, trust me, not my bag. But if it makes Ruby feel better and I can breastfeed her, then I will do it.

I know many of you are thinking, just give the kid formula and give yourself a break. 1) the can is 30 dollars. You heard that right? 2) After what I went through with the VBAC, I really just need a win for team hippie. 3) breastfeeding is all that I know. I breastfed G until he was 1. It was his comfort, it was our every night, it was our whole relationship for a year. If you formula feed and someone told you that tomorrow you had to breastfeed, you would freak out too.

this is why I do it. This explosion of adorableness.

So after today, I broke down crying in breastfeeding support group, they picked me off, dusted me off and told me to get a hold of myself. Then Ruby exploded 4 days of shit all over her and I. And I was brought down to earth.

Bright side? I’ll lose that baby weight again.

Down side? Pizza.

Stay with me folks. It’s another baby battle. 2013 style.

Leaky gut people, help me.

Breastfeeders, help me.

J.Crew, help me.





PS if you’re feeling low as a new mom, do not, I repeat DO NOT go to Nordstrom’s to try on jeans. You will try on the size too big and it will still be too small. And then you’re on the first floor so you can’t even jump out of the window.

That’s all.




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POSTED IN: babies,hippie stuff,I hate everyone,Mom Stuff,Not Pleased,Vom stuff,You think you know but you have no idea


Genevieve January 3, 2013 at 4:15 pm

You can do it mama!! Paleo pizza: omg does this sound good or what????

Also, I’m praying for you. If it doesn’t work out though (and I hope it does) have you considered donated milk? At least then she gets all the benefits? But I do believe you can get through this. I still nurse my 19mo and it is such a special relationship. I can’t imagine having to stop (I had to cut out all dairy, for us that was enough). So I’m praying for you and Ruby. I hope you get to keep that special relationship you have with her when breastfeeding.

Rebecca January 3, 2013 at 4:15 pm

I’m paleo and love it! Sure I miss pizza (and indulge in it sometimes), but once you get over the low carb flu, it gets SO good. No gas, no headaches, no afternoon slump, no starving yourself! I’m sure you’ve been there, but is great for info and is great for recipes! Good luck and I look forward to reading about your experience!

Kelly @ Turned up to Eleven! January 3, 2013 at 4:18 pm

I really, really hate that you’re having to deal with all this… ugh!! $30.00 for a can of powder… blasphemy! I hope my kid can eat grass when it’s born… when it’s conceived even, because I haven’t made it that far yet.

Bless you for trying your best, doing your best and being a total Science nerd about this whole mom, hippie, adventure! I love reading about it, but I’m really ready for the birds to sing, the stars to align and for you to have flowing hair and gowns to show off your true hippie goddess ways, the one who concurred motherhood like NOW! Because even if you feel like you’re still battling, you’re doing a bomb ass job my dear! ox

Lauren January 3, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Shop at banana to feel good about yourself! Their sizing is way off!

Lauren January 3, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Oh and hang in there! I can’t even imagine how tough the food battle must be but you know that your kids have an awesome mom just bc you are agonizing over your choices. They are so lucky!

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? January 3, 2013 at 4:19 pm

I know nothing of this leaky gut, but I know that I’ve heard that probiotics can do wonders for the gut and immune system and helping with the baby (both you taking it and giving them to her).

Offering my 2-cents.

Good luck. A hurting baby is painful. And a sad mommy because she can’t help her hurting baby is even worse.

Leyna January 3, 2013 at 4:22 pm

You can do it, mama. I totally get the whole need to reclaim a bit of your hippieness and, as a GAPS mama who’s probably getting ready to start at square one again with a newborn in February, I’m really rooting for you. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Nutrisystem or someone could just deliver bone broth to your house without having to constantly have a pot of simmering carcass around? I’d be soooo in. Keep us updated!

Stacy January 3, 2013 at 4:22 pm

Ugh I second not trying on jeans. Make that jeans or cords or anything that isn’t spandex. But I had to break down because I had nothing to wear. Sigh. At least I hit the year end sales.

Just keep breast feeding. I already failed at that because breast feeding twins is hard to begin with without having a raging 2 year old. So formula it is but one twin spits up like she’s in the movie The Exorcist so went to special formula for spit up. It stopped the spit up but instead of poop explosions it terrible constipation. It’s like you just trade one problem for another.

Sara January 3, 2013 at 4:22 pm

I don’t have any help to offer, but I have an enormous I’VE BEEN THERE. After a shitty c-section and a lot of messed up crap in the hospital, I was super devastated when breastfeeding wasn’t working. My issue was extremely low supply. So low that I normally didn’t produce a full ounce out of both breasts. I had the same experience with my baby rooting for comfort and having to hand him to my husband to feed him. And I just sat there and gave a shitty look to that stupid fucking bottle and hated an inanimate object for a while because that is healthy/adult. So, I’ve been there, dude. And I feel for you. I really hope the situation improves. But if it doesn’t, coming from someone who was hell bent on making it work and tried everything and made myself feel below shitty for having a body that wouldn’t do what I needed and just felt straight up broken, you will make peace with it and you’ll be fine. I’ve got a 4 month old chunk punk squealing with glee in front of me to prove it.

Mary January 3, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Me too, Sara! After months of misery for both of us, I had some good cries, let it all go, and now just enjoy feeding my 6-month-old the expensive stuff that makes her so happy to gulp down. I did hate those bottles for weeks though. But I’m over it now, and we’re happy.

You’re doing great, MODG! My fingers are crossed for you, but you have lots of support if it doesn’t work out.

Britt January 3, 2013 at 4:22 pm

We’ve been paleo for 3 months now. We’ve lost a lot of weight.

I have lots of recipes on my paleo pinterest board:

I’ve only made a few of them so if they suck, don’t blame me, I didn’t write them. I also really like Everyday Paleo. You can buy her book at Costco. Here is her website:

This is my favorite recipe of hers:
I know you don’t like ham, but I’m assuming you eat prosciutto.

Good luck!

Krista January 3, 2013 at 4:22 pm

Describing Ruby rooting for comfort and having to hand her to B = tears. As you know breastfeeding is so much more than nourishment. I’ve let my babies hang on my nipple for hours to sleep because it make them feel secure. Good luck with Paleo…plenty of trendy dieters out there do it for no good reason, so you’ve already got a leg up in the motivation department.

Kristin January 3, 2013 at 8:01 pm

That line got me too. I was bawling. Doesn’t help that I’m a super emotional preggo right now.

Shannon January 3, 2013 at 10:20 pm

I quit breastfeeding for about an hour once when my baby was a few months old due to my PPD, then she did the rooting thing you described and I HAD to keep going. It’s so heartbreaking to read that you experienced that moment. Good luck with all the research and maybe finding something great for yourself in the process (here’s hoping)!

Heather January 3, 2013 at 4:23 pm

Check out “Practical Paleo”; it’s a great recipe book, but they also have a website that makes things easy- like shopping lists, etc. The first half of the book just discusses the lifestyle change and then they have 30 day meal plans with several different paleo options.

Good luck! You can do this!

Brittany January 3, 2013 at 8:27 pm

I totally second the practical paleo book! The author does a terrific job with laying out meal plans for specific issues, leaky gut being on of them, as well as recipes, shopping list, etc. There’s also a ton of blogs dedicated to the paleo diet, as well a doing a Pinterest search for paleo, you can find a plenty of ‘substitute’ recipes for crackers, pizza crust, muffins, etc! Good luck!

Erica January 3, 2013 at 4:25 pm

You look beautiful and so do your babies. I’ve got no suggestions regarding the breastfeeding but you will do this. Whatever “this” is. Follow your mama gut, it’s strong and you will continue to raise strong and beautiful babies. Much love.

Lindsey January 3, 2013 at 4:27 pm

I feel the same way about breastfeeding. I’m glad I’m not the only one :). My sisters never breastfed; when it got hard, they quit (like 2 days in). I know this sounds bad, but I don’t think I’d know how to console my crying baby if it weren’t for breastfeeding. Yes, I do lots of snuggles and rocking and she takes a pacifier but sometimes, that doesn’t work and she just wants the boob. I’m not in your position at all. No allergies for my girl, but if I did, I’d probably do what you did… try formula, cry in my room all day and then decide to breastfeed and just deal with it. I’ve had to tell myself many times that it’s one year and I can do it. So, you can do it, Modg! (But know, you’re not a bad mom at all if you choose to do formula. Sanity is vital to a baby’s health too!)

Chelsea January 3, 2013 at 4:27 pm

Hang in there modg! :)

mamamcplaza January 3, 2013 at 4:28 pm

Ok, so I went through the same thing, essentially. My daughter’s malfunction was less explosive D’s and more mucus and blood. The doctor gave me the expensive stuff to try (then I would have to buy my own) and I wasn’t’ convinced but everyone else was, so for a week, I formula fed AND pumped AT work WITH the baby and no one else in the office. When Friday came around with zero relief, I just stuck her on the boob with the intuition of a mom and the fear that I was poisoning my child through my own neglect…of a mom. Anyways, I went every possible thing free…gluten, beef, chicken, seafood, dairy, soy, nuts, tree-nuts and oats. I pretty much lived on sweet potatoes and rice. No improvement. And then one day…improvement. An expert we saw said he used to get real worked up about this stuff (they were talking about Cystic Fibrosis for a while…yeah, the thing that killed Frankie from the Real World) but he said so many times it’s nothing. Their intestines and the surrounding glands are still getting situated and developed which can lead to swelling and irritation which can lead to some crazy poops. No fault of moms. Obviously not a diagnosis, but something to keep in mind. If she is otherwise happy ( so relative), healthy, gaining weight and height, and doesn’t has pudge in the right places, it can’t be too bad.

Meg January 3, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Crossing my fingers that things get better for you! I’ve heard wonderous things about the Paleo diet and am strongly considering it so I’m looking forward to seeing how it goes for you… keep us posted!

On a side note, I was diagnosed with I.C. earlier this year and I can not thank you enough for talking about it openly. I wrote a little about my journey with I.C. and am hoping more doctors will start taking it seriously instead of misdiagnosing women with UTIs over and over again… I can only imaging what long term consequences months of antibotics and other unnecessary drugs are having on our bodies.

Best of luck to your little family, mama! Looking forward to hearing how it’s going!

Kendra January 3, 2013 at 4:36 pm

You are doing a great job. Period. Keep your chin up! Also, please repeat back to me when I’m in your shoes as my baby girl is due ANY DAY NOW, and I have a 21 month old boy. Breastfeeding didn’t go as planned with my first so I am really hopeful for #2.

I’m not sure if it could be this or not, but we discovered our son has an IgA defficiency in his little gut which means he could have diarrhea like you are describing but on the hour every hour for 10 STRAIGHT DAYS!!!!!!!! We did end up seeing a pediatric gastrointestinal doc (whom I lovingly refer to as G.I. Joe – get it??) in order to figure out why he wouldn’t stop shitting all over the place and once we figured it out it we’ve had smooth sailing. It is basically like baby IBS. I also have IBS soooo, sorry kid!

It may not pertain to your situation at all but I also have to say that after being told time and time again by our regular Pediatrician that he, “just has a stomach bug and it needs to work itself out” I wanted to bitch slap them in the face!! I knew it wasn’t a stomach bug and I’m glad I was persistant and finally able to see a specialist for help. Stick to your guns, trust your “gut”, and keep doing what’s right for little Ruby. You are her advocate and you know what’s best for her even if you didn’t go to medical school for half of your life. Again, you are doing a great job. :)

demi January 3, 2013 at 4:36 pm

I’m Paleo as well and I love it. You may actually love it so much that you stick with it for a while! There are Paleo versions of all of your favorite foods (I swears) and are super easy to make. This is a smart move on your part because grains and wheat can wreak havoc on the gut-so this may be your answer. Keep us updated and feel free to ask me anything!

Analyn January 3, 2013 at 4:40 pm

You can do it. Once you get past your cravings after a few weeks you’ll feel so in control. I was a fellow sugar fiend but haven’t had refined sugar (I have some honey and maple syrup) for over a year and the thought of it is repulsive to me! Don’t give up! Seriously you can do this for your Little Love and your body will be so much better for it too.

Beth January 3, 2013 at 4:43 pm

If this helps- a friend of mine, liz wolfe, is well known in the paleo community. She maybe able to help you heal your gut more efficiently. Her blog is and she’s a nutritional therapist along with one of the kindest souls I know. She’s in cherry hill. She helped me with lots of fertility-baby- breast feeding. Maybe try giving her an email.

Beth January 3, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Amy January 3, 2013 at 4:50 pm

Oh man, I remember that feeling of panic when you have a baby with the soupy poops (my brother’s term) and you don’t know what’s causing it. Good for you for looking at all the angles!

Another commenter suggested probiotics. If you’re talking to your naturopath, ask him or her about BioGaia. They seemed to do the trick when my son was a baby, although, I was doing a lot of stuff at the time so it’s hard to say if it was a magic bullet. His system may have just matured in the time I was hysterically running around Hippy Holistic Haven and googling the shit out of everything : )

Good luck , I hope you crack it and hang in there!

tara January 3, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Hooray you’re back! Your babies are so damn cute. I hear you on needing a win for the hippies. Good luck, I really hope the paleo diet helps, I have heard great things.

Your ps was hilarious. Hell yeah to losing baby weight.

Gini January 3, 2013 at 4:52 pm

SUCK. Food issues are so hard! We are backing you up one-hundred-eleventy-billion percent, MODG! You’re a GREAT mama, and you’re going to look fabulous from the paleo food. Soon you’ll have to get the too-small jeans because they’ll be just right. ;)

Julie Lay January 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm

Hang in there, mama. We have all been in one parenting shitstorm or another, so no worries or judgies.

Kristy January 3, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Have you looked into foremilk/hindmilk imbalance? From my research with my own baby, the symptoms seem alot similar to that of food intolerances. I have an issue with oversupply, (which I remember you mentioning as well). My baby had the horrible poop issue as well…watery, crazy colors, smell, etc. I gave up on help from his pediatrician bc I felt like they weren’t supportive of bf’ing. So, I changed my nursing pattern from 15 min. on each side to about 20-30 on each side (therefore allowing him to get more of the good hind milk) while at the same time reducing my diet to basically oatmeal, granola bars, kettle cooked chips, brown rice, some non gassy and non acidic fruits and veggies….and ummmm…oh yeah that’s about it. It worked! But now I’m not sure which one fixed it bc I did both at the same time. So here we are on a super restricted diet, (baby weight is obviously GONE and then some (of which I was so not trying to lose…it just happened)), and his ‘issues’ seem to be much better. He’s still a bit gassy (not nearly as much) and spits up often, but I think that might be due to acid reflux…???…he’s on Axid for that (I know, hippie fail…but between those 3 things he’s like a new GD baby and my PPD feels to be lifting a little so I’m going with it!). That’s what I know…don’t know if it helps but I’m really glad you are real on your blog and talk about this shit bc people in general don’t…like it’s the plague or something. You can do this! FYI…my baby is almost 5 months old…I think part of it is just time and him getting older and his digestive system developing.

Christina January 3, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Dude, we did that formula for 8.5 months. The last 6 of which we went through a can every 4.5 days. Sucked. Badly. Good luck on the diet, I hope it helps you and Ruby.

The Other Jen January 4, 2013 at 12:46 am

True story! Same here. Hope my 10 month old doesn’t want to go to college…her fund went to formula!

Ashley Spain (@AshleySpain7) January 3, 2013 at 5:06 pm

You can do it girl! You will survive and you will be stronger on the other end.

It’s okay to cry and be frustrated I know I was!!

I BF my first for 2 years and hope to do the same with the second god willing.

Rachael January 3, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Just giving you props and love for resolving to keep up with the breastfeeding. It’ll work out because you’re committed to your health and your babe’s. Plus you’re getting support! Rock out with your… um, boobs out :P

Amy B January 3, 2013 at 5:15 pm

I know you know from the breastfeeding groups, but it continues to amaze me that the thing that is the most natural is also the hardest with the most issues. You couldn’t have convinced me when I was pregnant that breastfeeding was going to be hard or work or anything other than lovely. Hang in there!!! I’m impressed with you.

Kirsten January 3, 2013 at 5:23 pm

You can do it! You’re awesome! And thank you so much for sharing… I’ve been a believer/follower of paleo for a while, but went off the rails a bit in my first trimester when paleo food just looked so unappetizing and I just wanted to eat muffins and ice cream. I felt so guilty like I was poisoning my fetus though. :( I’ve switched almost entirely back and am feeling much better with energy and digestion and stuff, so I guess it’s the right thing, but I’m very nervous about breastfeeding. (This is my first pregnancy.) So I really appreciate you sharing your journey and I’m rooting for you!

A few things… Pizza? how about MEATZA!!! Google it, every paleo blogger posts about it. :) It’s really just a hamburger loaded with pizza sauce and toppings, but you know, it’s still yummy. (Though now I have to go try that woven-bacon pizza thing that Genevieve posted in the first comment…)

Also, maybe check out Robb Wolf’s podcast, I think you might like his humor. :) I’m not a big fan of podcasts generally, but I listen to it while walking my dog, and the guy occasionally has me cracking up, occasionally has me a little more motivated to not eat crap.

Rachel January 3, 2013 at 5:23 pm

I don’t have any advice or words of wisdom, just wanted to tell you I know exactly how you feel about the formula. My first was jaundiced and losing weight in the hospital and the doctor guilted me into supplementing with formula (which led us down another horror story path alltogether), and I couldn’t bear even watching him take the bottle, I cried and cried. And don’t get me started on the smell of the formula, I remember sobbing something along the lines of “he doesn’t even smell like a baby!”
I wish you all the best with your new diet plan, and hope it’s just what little Ruby needs

Heather January 3, 2013 at 5:31 pm

Dude food intolerances blow. I’m going on a year of breastfeeding while dairy, soy, gluten, & eggfree. And I was a vegetarian- then I was just hungry. I don’t have any magic advice except if you can get some help for a day nd make a shit ton of “safe” food so you always have something on hand that’ll help. Also probiotics for baby & you. Some babies do well with enzymes too.

Karen January 3, 2013 at 5:51 pm

I have little (or no) advice, but I really really hope and pray it all goes away and little Ruby can breastfeed and you can EAT without leaky guts! I PRAY TO STEPHANIE TANNER.

Malisams January 3, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Dude. I don’t have leaky gut issues but I’m seriously sorry that you do. I DO know about the difficulty of going through an unwanted cesarean and then dealing with breastfeeding bullshit. I supplement bc I don’t produce enough, and it’s killed me to introduce formula knowing all the chemical shit they put in there. So we looked and looked for a better formula and here’s what we found: One, there are some super hippies who make bone broth formula (more than just regular cooking bone broth) that, by all accounts, is nutritionally identical to breast milk. No shit. What we settled on (before I learned about the bone broth) was a formula from Sweden called Holle. It is by far the best, least toxic and assy formula you can buy. We got 30 boxes from a German company called Biologisch for like $11 a box. So even with shipping, it was cheaper than buying 30 containers of domestic formula. Our son hasn’t had ANY issues with it at all. So if you find you need to supplement or, god forbid, stop breastfeeding, I highly recommend it. And I hope shit gets easier for you.

Pun totally intended.

netty January 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

poor MODG! has great recipes and many are paleo friendly! All are gluten free and yummy!!!!!

We’re with you! And I just read last night that it takes3-6 weeks for an allergen to clear out of your milk so maybe it will get better!

Erin Freel January 3, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Dude. DUDE. I’m so sorry.

Okay, so here’s the obligatory run down so you know I’m not completely full of crap…I was an LLL leader for five years (too busy with grown kid stuff now to do it) and I have two kids with celiac disease which is like the Cadillac of leaky guts, even once you go gf. My oldest was hard broke for awhile…I won’t go into it all, but I FEEL you.

Some of the things we did to help…he took 30 billion cfus of probiotics, particularly saccharomyces boulardii per day. It’s a lot, so three times a day we gave him a handful. We took him to an MD/ND and they ran a Great Plains nutritional panel to find out where he lacked essential vitamins and aminos, and supplemented where he needed. He ended up on a large dose of vitamin D, E, phosphatidylcholine, fish oil (Barleans lemon fish oil tastes delicious), a tiny dose of melatonin and 5 HTP each (both precursors to serotonin, which helped even out his moods). We cut all sugar, gluten(obviously), dairy and grain free which is basically paleo. After six months, we could let him have gluten free grains back. He wouldn’t drink bone broth or anything like that, so we did juice a lot. Apples plus spinach plus lemon plus…all delicious. His favorite was orange, carrot and beets. Yum. We crammed nutrition into EVERYTHING and I figured out desserts for him. Like one avocado peeled and pitted, 1/4 cup cocoa and 1/4 cup of honey blended makes a delicious chocolate pudding. Or frozen bananas, honey and a flavoring (like frozen strawberries or cocoa) make yummy soft serve. I made cheese out of soaked cashews fermented with probiotics on a heating pad set to low, ala Spunky Coconut (it tastes like sweet marscapone). Probably sounds impossible with a newborn huh? :-(. I’ve heard of people drinking a tsp of apple cider vinegar in a big cup of water too, but the shyeah right factor on that is huge for a four year old.

The more good fats you can take in, the better. I loved veggie juicing with all the concentrated nutrients running around in there. I really hope things get better for you. I would recommend a book or two but I know how hard it is to be overwhelmed and handed a study list. If you want some, please let me know.

Elizabeth January 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I know a little about the whole leaky gut thing, not from personal experience, but from friends. Totally believe it is a huge issue! The friend I know that had it has been seeing a very natural osteopath for over a year. The way she explains it is that if your gut is that “sick”, simply taking probiotics or adjusting your diet is like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound. She is on ALL KINDS of supplements, treatments, special diet, etc. It has done wonders for her thus far. Maybe you could find a really awesome doc where you are that could HEAL your gut. In the meantime, I hear you on the breastfeeding. I am trying for a VBAC in June, and can imagine that if it’s not successful I will be HELL BENT on nursing for as long as possible. Will feel the same way if it is successful, because nursing is amazing. It’s one of the main things I’m looking forward to with #2. Hang in there!!!!!

Kate January 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I eat Paleo and love it. Though I’m not breastfeeding nor raising a(multiple) kid(s), so I don’t know if you’ll count my vote. How about pictures? Those say a lot. Check out for some paleo food porn. Good luck girlie. We’re rooting for you!

Ramie January 4, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Ditto! I’m not paleontology but her website makes me consider it on a daily basis. I’ve tried a few recipes and they are delish… Particularly the slow cooker pork stew.
Good luck!

Ramie January 4, 2013 at 8:29 pm

Dang autocorrect… Paleo not paleontology. Sheesh.

Susan from GA January 3, 2013 at 6:28 pm

I got nothing. You sound like you are hanging on to the knot at the end of the rope. Praying for you with fingers crossed. It HAS to get better.

Susan from GA

M January 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Check out for paleo recipes and motivation.

Eating Paleo is not that limiting or horrible and when I do it I feel great energy wise. Best of luck to you and your sweet babies.

Sheila January 3, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Oh MODG. I’m SO sorry you’re going through all of this mega guy and boob drama. I breasted for a year and consider myself borderline hippie so Im sending you lots of Internet love to help you put. Not sure how helpful he would be for breast feeding, but my brother in law deals with digestive illness for a living, wrote a book and is master of all things poop related. He drives me bonkers, but had apparently helped a butt ton of people with leaky guts and other such problems. He was misdiagnosed with Colin cancer when he was 18 and after that gave the finger to most of western medicine and dedicated his life to helping people heal their guts. Like, thats legit what he says. His website is If you have questions let me know. Good luck!!! (ps sorry if half of this was filled with typos my 2 yr slammed my iPhone and the screen is ghetto to the max.)

sheila January 3, 2013 at 10:20 pm

wait, i just re-read my comments on a non-cracked computer screen and seriously hope that you got to the end of my entry without disrearding and thinking i’m a cracked out psycho (pun partially intended).
Exhibit a) i meant colon cancer. colin cancer makes me think of colin farrell. i don’t know a female soul alive that would be upset if colin attatched himself to her and fed off her body. Exhibit b) B would probs be pissed if you had guy drama. i meant GUT drama.

…i don’t have a witty comeback or excuse for breasted. but it’s kind of funny.

i forgot to mention that my bro in law’s book was sold in whole foods so he obviously knows what he’s talking about. forget B&N. real hippies get their books at whole foods.

leaky guts and annoying milk aside, ruby and g are beyond adorable together. focus on that whenever you can and quasi remember all the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things you had to go through with G and how you overcame them….. and how you obviously did it all again because it was SO.DAMN.WORHT IT. plus, you’ll be skinny. and we all know that’s what really matters.

Alissa January 3, 2013 at 6:57 pm

I’ve been working with a gut healing expert who is also a lactation consultant. Her website is and she has a webinar called ‘Gut Healing for Breastfeeding Families’ that could be helpful for you. She does private Skype consults, too. Good luck! :)

Mazzy January 3, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Question? Is Ruby fussy and in obvious discomfort?

You didn’t specify.

My baby girl (12 months) had really watery, explosive poops like every other day. She was a 4 times a day kinda girl until 12 months.

I thought all breast fed babes poop was supposed to be mustardy and seedy and non smelly blah blah blah. But it really can be a wide range. Her’s was flemmy sometimes, and watery, and green sometimes and really across the board. And would shoot out in every direction, like all the time. Lots of clothes changing. But she was a very content, non fussy little one.

So if she is in discomfort then paleo away, but if not, are the docs/lactation specs still concerned?


Sharon January 3, 2013 at 7:21 pm

Hi MODG–We are a GAPS family and have been eating this way for a year now. My 4 year old has serious GI issues and that’s why we started the diet. We don’t do it near 100%–she refuses fermented foods (and I don’t blame her) and the bone broth is tricky. So I make do, and we ‘cheat’ once in a while. But the whole family does it (including her 6 year old sister, and me my entire pregnancy right now). There are tons of recipes online and on Pinterest. Most Paleo recipes work fine for GAPS. One trick I have–I make giant pots of bone broth (because it’s a pain!) and then freeze it in ice cube trays. I put the cubes in ziploc bags and they stay good in the freezer for months on end! I try to plop a few cubes into my cooking whenever possible. I also ‘cheat’ by sometimes buying regular almond flour to bake yummy treats, and knowing the almonds were not properly soaked and dehydrated first. At the end of the day, I know I’m doing my best and she has shown some improvement. I hope your plan works and that Ruby does better with your milk. Good luck!

Laura January 3, 2013 at 7:35 pm

I so can relate to your desire to breastfeed your babe no matter what. I had hardly any obstacles compared to you but I could totally relate to your metaphor about it being so important and like telling a formula feeding mom to switch to breast, its just what you know. When things were going south for me in the beginning of BFing it just seemed incredibly foreign to me to NOT be able to do that, it was what I knew. I really really hope that things start getting better for you two. You are a tough momma.

Also, I just hit up your archives and gotta tell you that your posts on Ferber and sleep are super encouraging for a momma who has HATED the idea of CIO but is running out of answers and is in need of something to change.

Kim January 3, 2013 at 7:52 pm

You can do it! I’m milk, peanut, strawberry, apple, watermelon free & have been for over a year & a half for my son. Sometimes it is odd, random food that causes reactions and it took me over 6 months to figure out my sons list…..then added new foods to eliminate as I tried to expand my diet.

You do not have to give up pizza – just give up the cheese! Cornmeal pizza crust & whole foods made pizza sauce is pizza night here, or the place that does vegan Chicago style pizza!

Good for you for choosing to nurse, even if its only for a little bit longer – every drop counts as success!

Kayla K. January 3, 2013 at 7:53 pm

You are way too correct about the whole NOT trying on jeans thing!
I, unfortunately, did that very same thing to myself.
What a way to kick yourself when your down!

Renee January 3, 2013 at 8:00 pm

I’m doing the Paleo diet too. Hang in there. Trust me, it’s not bad and if it makes you feel better, pizza is a small sacrifice. Best of luck!!!

Lara January 3, 2013 at 8:10 pm

I wish I had advice on the breastfeeding issue. It has to blow knowing you can’t fix it immediately. I just started a paleo diet 6 days ago because I have IBS and I need to lose weight. It starts off sucking, I can only hope it gets better at some point. Good luck to you and miss Ruby, I love the picture of your two lovely babies!

colleen January 3, 2013 at 8:19 pm

oh no :( i am so sorry (and fascinated by leaky gut). i hope you find something that works well for the two of you soon and that shit stops soon. i read the blog of another mom who is a diabetic and only eats paleo. she has great recipes on her blog (and would probably be happy to help you with any questions you may have):

Yaz January 3, 2013 at 9:09 pm

At this point, you should try to make your baby comfortable. Imagine having explosive diarrhea and how much cramps she is having. Formula isn’t the end of the world. Non-breastfed babies can still be comforted by their moms. You both may be happier if she is taking formula and isn’t crampy and pooping all the time, and you can eat normally and not be super stressed about what your eating.

Fairly Obvious January 4, 2013 at 9:37 am

Thank god someone is actually living in the real world here. This is the first post I’ve read through all of these that makes sense. I have a kid, and I know its tough but when YOUR body is harming your baby, you need to get over it formula isn’t the end of the world.

MODG January 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Sounds like you ladies formula fed. If your baby had an issue with formula would you have switched to breastfeeding or just try a different formula? Why is this any different? Why do I have to switch to formula? Why can’t I switch my milk?

Leigh January 4, 2013 at 3:55 pm

I blogged for several years, and it’s unfortunate that people “speak” to one another much differently online than they do IRL. You’re obviously exploring every option for you and your baby’s health, and that’s what matters. But switching formulas isn’t comparable to trying to improve our breastmilk. Formula is highly regulated and its ingredients are explicit. Part of the wonder, mystery and frustration with breastfeeding and breastmilk is no one is exactly sure why and how it confers the benefits it does, nor is lactation a well understood human process. (Btw, did you see the recent Time magazine on-line post about the “medical community” possibly “failing” breastfeeding mothers? It’s worth a look!) So you may find a healthy breastfeeding solution for you and Ruby, but it will never exactly be clear what helped in the sense that confirming the right formula will. It’s not the best analogy. The more important point is that feeding children is always a process of trial and error, and you’re doing what you believe is right for you and your family. Sounds to me like you’re on the beginning on an exploration here, and what you’re doing a month or six months from now may be different than what you’re trying this week. We do whatever we can to keep our kids and ourselves healthy and safe. Best of luck and be kind to and forgiving of yourself.

(Btw, apologies for the pedantry, I teach decision-making and using analogies, research, and evidence are big parts of the curriculum! :) )

Fairly Obvious January 4, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Actually I breastfed for 7 months exclusively and went through the same things you have, and ultimately I put my child’s health as priority and started using formula. It was hard but I did what needed to be done and didn’t think twice.

Chrissy January 4, 2013 at 9:10 pm

With a screen name like “Fairly Obvious” you seem unable to spot the obvious. Interesting.

She IS making her child’s health a priority. With such a sensitive system Ruby may react worse to the things in formula…it isn’t exactly made of unicorn magic, you know. Lots of artificial crap in most of them, all of them are superdeeduper processed and just because YOUR situation worked out doesn’t make it the best solution for everyone.

Wow…I just can’t believe the comments on this post. Some people have lost all sense of propriety.

Yaz January 4, 2013 at 9:14 pm

I nursed my first for a year and a half, and I am currently nursing my second. However, it’s easier to switch formula then to change your breastmilk. My kids are 15 months apart, and I know how hard and stressful it is to have two under two. The added pressure on breastfeeding and you not getting to eat will make things a lot harder for you. Breastfeeding my second was not a priority, but I have been lucky in the fact that it has been a very easy experience and she doesn’t seem to have any problems with what I eat. But in the beginning I decided that if it was going to be too difficult I wasn’t going to struggle, because the first most important thing was that I needed to be a happy and energetic mom for both my kids.

Anna January 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm

Oh please don’t say that. It is such a horrible, hurtful thing to say. “…ultimately I put my child’s health as priority and started using formula” implies that those mothers who believe that persisting with breastfeeding is the best way forward are doing it for their own selfish reasons…which is a load of bullshit.

EVERY parent does what they believe is best for their child.

Melissa January 3, 2013 at 9:17 pm

I just wanted to tell you that I totally understand. A friend introduced me to your blog when my daughter was born 9 months ago. She would scream all.the.time. I finally gave up dairy and soy (and then eggs and peanuts for a while) when she was 4 months old and after about 6 weeks, things got better. I don’t know if it was definitely the foods I was eating, or if by 6 months she just became happier/her gut closed/whatever. But there was a period where my pedi told me to do formula for 2 weeks to get to the bottom of the issue and to help her gain weight since she wasn’t gaining. I bawled the whole way home and then I bawled every time she had to eat. I lasted two days. I wound up going to a pediatric GI who I found to put my fears at ease. The weight gain thing still isn’t great, but she seems to be doing well and I am still breastfeeding, 5 months after eliminating dairy and soy.

I guess I just wanted to tell you 1) that it took 6 weeks before I saw improvement with the diet 2) a pediatric GI was helpful for me 3) you aren’t alone 4) I still think you can stick with it and be a hippie and I support your desire to do so

Good luck!

Sarah January 3, 2013 at 9:17 pm

Dude! I jumped aboard the paleo train to resolve stomach issues (which I also suspect originated from BS antibiotics) and had LOTS of success. It blows, but after a few months of stomaching nasty almond flour pizzas I was a new woman. I didn’t enjoy having to eat like a freak BUT it was worth it to feel better and to stick it to the doctors who said only drugs would work. Go hippies!

Sheri January 3, 2013 at 10:02 pm

I’m just starting to eat Paleo too. I know its going to be tough (I love cheese. And sugar too btw.) but I’ve been seeing a fertility specialist for almost a year now, and been trying to make a baby even longer than that, and nothing that doctors or I have done has worked yet. I’m otherwise healthy (although i have chronic UTIs as well), but I don’t ovulate without medicine intervention each month. And even the times we’ve gotten that part working, I still haven’t been able to get pregnant (there are other issues too, but I’ll just leave it at that). In my gut, I’ve always thought this must all be due to what I’m eating. It was just that nagging feeling. Eventually a friend’s recommended Paleo, and after a year, and a lot of money spent in infertility treatments, and a lot of research, I’m finally listening to my gut. I really do believe that my body is just not as healthy as it could be due to leaky gut and systemic inflammation and it’s manifesting as infertility for me. :-/ There have been days that I’ve felt hopeless. But today I’m hopeful. Even if a Paleo diet doesn’t get my body functioning exactly how it should be allowing us to get pregnant on our own, maybe I can get it closer to where it could be so that if I have to start seeing a fertility doc again, I’ll at least be going in with better chances and more hope.

Good luck with your Paleo! Hope both Ruby and you start feeling better.

Kristin January 3, 2013 at 10:11 pm

BTDT with both kids. Digestive enzymes before every time you eat. Research IgA deficiency in breastfeeding mom. She’ll stop with the terrible poops once she starts making her own IgA. I have a leaky gut too. It sucks. Hang in there.

lauren January 3, 2013 at 10:49 pm

“If you formula feed and someone told you that tomorrow you had to breastfeed, you would freak out too.” …best line ever.

I have a 8 week old and am right there with ya {aside from the whole leaky gut thing}. I do think that you are awesome and major props for hanging in there and pushing through!!

Anna January 4, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Yeah I thought it was a good analogy too. I freak out when I am minding my friends’ babies and have to formula feed them – it is so much more complex (and so more of a chance of doing something wrong! eek!) than sticking a tit in their mouth.

Rosey January 3, 2013 at 11:30 pm

You’ve got this, MODG! My son is 11 months old tomorrow and has been breastfed his whole life. He has something called FPIES which means he can’t digest certain food proteins and we know that dairy, soy, corn, rice, and poultry are an issue and so neither he or I can eat it. But would I have traded the moments we’ve shared breastfeeding for a grilled cheese sandwich or hot tamales (well, maybe some hot tamales)? Not in a million years. I think having breastfed him has given us the bond and relationship we have today. Of course, what’s most important is making sure both you and Ruby are happy and healthy, but know that we’re here for you and you’ve got so many people pulling for you!

Erin January 4, 2013 at 12:15 am

A lot of docs think diet changes don’t work and reducing stress is the best thing you can do for leaky gut. Could you use the fancy food money and get a parttime nanny? Good luck!

sarah January 5, 2013 at 2:27 am

Ahhhh. I don’t have kids but I’m right there with you. I first went on Paleo about a year and a half ago, and it’s been great for my health/body and helped me lose a bunch of stubborn weight/fat to boot, but as time has gone on I’ve gotten a little more lax and had more and more cheats. My stomach has noticed and now it’s giving me a lot of trouble, so starting yesterday I’m back on a much stricter Paleo and I’m going to try extremely hard to resist the cheats I used to give in to. I can vouch though that Paleo is awesome and WILL change you/your life for the better. The only downside is that it makes your grocery bill a little bit higher overall because of what you’re buying (grains are cheap after all), but it keeps my weight under control effortlessly and when I’m sticking to it I feel great and rarely get sick. I definitely think it’s the best way for you to heal your gut and have a happy/healthy body & baby, and I’m glad you’ve landed on this solution. Good luck and keep us posted!!!

Oh, and maybe you already know, but LARABARS are amazing. And Sunbutter is the perfect PB substitute.

sarah January 5, 2013 at 2:28 am

meant to reply to the thread, not a comment, so please delete/disregard this!

Brittany January 4, 2013 at 12:41 am

MODG-good luck to you as you continue your breast feeding journey! I’m still nursing my 15 month old and know how amazing the nursing relationship is and I also know that you will try anything to continue that relationship! I hope you and Ruby get some relief and you get the poops figured out. Prayers going up for you and your family tonight. I’ve never experienced any issues with breast feeding, but I know I’d try everything I can to make it work. It’s what moms do!!

Brittany January 4, 2013 at 12:44 am

I also wanted to add that you might look into donated milk. I was able to donate my freezer stash to another mother and her son continues to thrive on donated at 7 mos. Try Eats on Feets or Human Milk for Human Babies. This option would allow Ruby to get the liquid gold and give you some peace of mind. I know it’s not the same as nursing, but it’s another option other than formula.

Katie E. January 4, 2013 at 12:54 am

Not really sure why folks thing donated milk will work…when you have a baby who is super sensitive to everything, it doesn’t. Amanda, we went through this with our baby. I ended up bottle feeding because I had some other issues that needed medicating. Is there a way you could get some Miralax in her bottles? Because it will resolve the 4 days of poop issues, and ease her little tummy. It is a non addicting awesome stool softener. Basically, super fiber the little folks can have in their bottles. Ask your gastric pediatrician about it. If you don’t have a pediatric GI doctor, find one. They can make miracles of the regular and hippy variety. Good luck with the PALEO diet. Try to avoid soy, and whey. Hope it gets better.

Jenna January 4, 2013 at 1:32 am

J. Crew is having an awesome clearance sell. Retail therapy always helps me.

Steven Medina January 4, 2013 at 2:21 am

you’ve made a good point when it comes to being motivated, I have found for myself that to be drawn towards something is often a lot better than to be be motivated away from something. Going towards something we want rather than away from something we don’t. Probably has something to do with what we’re focusing on thus creating in reality. Thanks a lot for the post, it got me thinking :)

Alicia January 4, 2013 at 2:54 am

I suffered through the same experience with my son (now 4) and we ended up at a osteopathic doctor under the advice of our midwife. Changed our lives immediately. After 2 treatments we had drastic improvement, and by 6, he was “cured” of his GI issues. It is a bit extreme on the “hippy” scale, but it worked in our case!

Lisa McP January 4, 2013 at 6:06 am

I breasted for over a year, and I had a natural birth- so I understand your desires! I admire your determination, Mamma!!!! I’m also a scientist and would just offer some science-minded insight: switch to formula for more than 24 hrs to see if there is an improvement. If there is an improvement, then it is your milk that’s causing it and not Something physical with her body. If there isn’t any improvement, then it’s not your milk, and it’s something with her new little body. Before you start fighting and planning, you must know what you are fighting, and it seems at this point it could be something with her body, or it could be something in your milk.
By the way, my son is wheat intolerant, diagnosed at 8 months. Four hours after he ate wheat, every.single.time, he would have vomit and diarrhea. Like clockwork.
Wishing you all the best!

KamiKaze January 4, 2013 at 9:16 am

I’m sorry that you have to go through this again. But I am glad that you are going to give Paleo a shot instead of starving yourself this time around. I’ve been thinking about doing it myself but everyone on the I.C. board keeps going on and on about how it can’t be done–how all the things that could soothe the bladder you can’t have on Paleo. My bigger concern is how I won’t like the taste of meat without some kind of sauce. But maybe I should try it, maybe that’s where my body went wrong or maybe it wasn’t right to begin with and it took me until I was 26 to be diagnosed.

Anyway, enough about me. Good luck, Modg, I’m rooting for you! I hope little Ruby gets to feeling better soon.

Megan January 4, 2013 at 9:33 am

Newborn feeding issues are a right pain in the ass. I do Atkins, and while not the same as paleo, has helped ALOT to get rid of the refined carbs, etc. Hopefully if you switch diets you will feel great, if nothing else! And the weight will fall off. Hang in there!

amy ranae January 4, 2013 at 9:43 am

Hey Modg. Paleo isn’t so bad. Elana make’s it GREAT! Check out these dELISH paleo choc. cupcakes:

Her site is great for most allergies but eggs and nut although she’s starting have more w/o nuts (coconut based) but all of her stuff is gluten free, mostly dairy free too!

My baby was sensitive to eggs and honey. She had bumps on her cheeks too like little Ruby Lee…

Elizabeth January 4, 2013 at 9:49 am

Awww, I am so sorry you are dealing with this AGAIN. I feel like no one really ever discusses with you how hard breastfeeding is. Between latching issues, dietary concerns, leaking, exhaustion, and the biggest – the emotional/mental issues it is hard to see clearly. I wish I had some advice that could help. Looking back, I am thinking that my second son probably had/has some food intolerance; constant congestion since birth and difficulty pooping (weird for a bf-ed baby, right?). Being mother of the year, I just plowed through it. Now I am starting to wean him, I can’t keep up with the pumping at work. So at almost 9 months I am trying to get him to a morning/night bf schedule. Formula in the day, GAWD, I can’t wrap my brain around formula. I am a smart woman, I know it isn’t poison…but I read the ingredients list and my stomach turns. Not to mention the $30 price tag… as I call Earths Best and pretend to be every female in my family for a $5 off coupon. Oh and the soy. Why does every brand have soy? Will my son have boobs from drinking it? So crazy. My first son, had formula from months 9-12 & he is fine. With both boys though, I have had this irrational fear that I am not being the best mother I can be by stopping breastfeeding. I know it is me being crazy & a lil sad. Or really, really sad. I just wish someone would talk more about the emotional toll that nursing takes. Changing your diet, rubbing APNO on cracked nips, icing down engorged boobs, blocked ducts, etc. are all physical issues that mother’s can deal with, but getting over the emotional hurdle is so unbelievably hard.

Elizabeth January 4, 2013 at 9:51 am

ewww. improper use of an apostrophe… *mothers not mother’s

Rachel January 4, 2013 at 9:50 am

I made the mistake of trying on clothes at J.Crew a few weeks ago… 7 weeks post partum. BIG FAT mistake. :( Oy.

Chelsea January 4, 2013 at 10:46 am

I know you mentioned you have an over supply and that you let Ruby nurse all the time, so have you considered a fore milk/hind milk imbalance? I’m no expert, just a fellow breastfeeding mom of two toddlers. We had a very similar start with both my boys. I don’t doubt that there is some kind of sensitivity, but if you haven’t thought of this I would look into it. Best of luck!

ella January 4, 2013 at 10:50 am

I am so sorry that you are going through this again. :(
On the paleo front, dark dark chocolate is your friend– 80 or 85%. I like Green & Black’s chocolate. The sugar cravings are awful, but eating fat can help– avocado? nuts? (I eat cheese, but I know you’re off dairy.)
The GAPS folks claim that it is different from paleo– and it is– and it is all about the acids that the foods break down into in your belly. I’m not a GAPS person, so I can’t help.
Eating a lot of chicken soup, especially if you make chicken broth yourself out of the chicken carcass– is a good way to approximate the healing bone broth that the GAPS folks love.
Fermented foods– sauerkraut, kimchee, yogurt– will help. Unless you’re avoiding cabbage to help Ruby.
If you can eat spicy food, Korean food is good in terms of getting bone broth-like soups and fermented foods.
Are you thinking about getting Ruby tested for food allergies?
Good luck. Thinking of you both.

liz January 4, 2013 at 11:19 am

As a mom who breatfed, I understood and supported your commitment to not giving up when G was having issues with your breastmilk. You were a new mom who didn’t know what was going on and did your best to find a solution. I got it. But what I don’t understand is why you would put Ruby through the same thing now that you KNOW it is YOUR milk causing the discomfort and nothing you have done so far is making it better. Explosive diarrhea is uncomfortable for an adult, let alone a newborn baby. I know breastmilk is the best thing you could feed a baby and the bond you create while nursing is like no other. BUT, I believe you can still bond with your child in other ways while feeding him/her formula. Come to your senses already. Formula is not poison and could actually be better for her at this point than your breastmilk. And honestly, don’t use the excuse that formula is expensive. $30 for a can of formula isn’t so bad if you can shop at banana and j crew. Stop being stubborn and think about your child’s well being, not your own.

Cyn January 4, 2013 at 11:40 am

Dear Liz,

Didn’t your mama ever tell you that if you can’t say something nice… don’t say it at all? Particularly when talking to the mother of a newborn child?

I’m sure there are many things you’ve done in your life that random strangers would not agree with. I’m sure you would also LOVE to have them tell you just how much they disagree with your choices in a rude and obnoxious way.

Yes I realize this is a blog, so she’s putting it out there, which for some people means they can apparently say rude things. And yes, your comment was rude. You could have nicely encouraged her to save her own sanity and use formula, but instead you had to say things like “$30 for a can of formula isn’t so bad if you can shop at banana and j crew.” Which basically translates to “you must be selfish if you’d rather shop at those stores instead of taking care of your kid.”

And that shit is rude.

So, with the goal of helping people maintain their sanity during a very difficult time (aka the first year of parenthood to any new baby), be nice or shush.

Brandy January 4, 2013 at 1:12 pm

I’m not sure how Liz’s comment was rude. She was putting her two cents in like everyone else in the comments section of this blog post. Yes, formula is expensive…as is jcrew and bananna republic. Out of my three kids, two were bottle fed and one was breast fed. Know what? I bonded with all three of them and all three of them grew up to be healthy, well rounded children. I just don’t understand why she’s putting herself and her baby through this stress. Life isn’t perfect and is totally unpredictable; trying to force yourself into a mold that may not fit isn’t benefiting anyone.

Sam January 4, 2013 at 1:51 pm

She wasn’t being rude at all. Since when is recommending formula feeding rude???? She is telling her to relax and try something else. I went through the same thing with my 2nd baby. She had very bad jaundice and my milk hadn’t come in yet. I was told to give her formula but I didn’t want to. I kept trying and trying to breastfeed, but my milk didn’t come in, her jaundice was getting worse, she was starving, and I was frustrated and depressed. I gave her formula, it wasn’t the end of the world. I also had the same thought, if you are able to shop @ nordstrom and J Crew then you can afford 30 dollar formula. Sometimes you have to budget what is important. This blog seems very consumer heavy, and it seems like she buys a lot of toys and stuff for herself, which is fine, but if you need to buy formula you can cut out one thing to buy the other. Also, not all formula is 30 dollars. It saddens me when people are so stuck to an idea, like breastfeeding, that they are willing to go through misery for themselves and their baby just to do it. And before you criticize me or my parenting, I breastfed my first and am currently breastfeeding the second, but it isn’t the be all end all for me nor am I doing it to be a “hippie.”

MODG January 4, 2013 at 2:35 pm

Without divulging my finances to you (since you seem to really need to know) this blog has consumer posts because Amazon’s referral program is pretty much the only income I bring in from this blog (other than a few ads). We need that money to pay our bills. In my previous life I had a high paying job where I could afford nice clothes. These days if I can shop it’s from gift cards from my birthday (Nordstrom, jcrew, etc). I really didn’t want to stoop to this level to defend myself to you but it’s insulting that you would even insinuate that I would put clothes before my child’s health.

Sam January 5, 2013 at 8:27 am

I really didn’t mean for that to come across as rude. I really think you are putting way too much stress on yourself to breastfeed. The society we live in nowadays frowns upon formula feeders, making them seem like they don’t love their children as much, or can’t comfort them without breastfeeding. Although your ultimate goal should be your childrens health, your health should be a priority as well. All this stress and cutting out foods and dieting isn’t good for you.

MODG January 4, 2013 at 2:23 pm

I am doing my damndest to fix this problem. If a formula feeding mom had a sick baby would she switch to breastmilk or would she try a different formula? All I’m doing is trying to make my breastmilk different. 300 dollars a month for formula is a lot. And I may love jcrew but they haven’t seen the likes of me in QUITE some time.
This comment was rude. I would never speak to a struggling friend this way.

Megan January 4, 2013 at 4:22 pm

Don’t listen to this critical crap. You’re living through your own personal Hurricane Sandy – and it’s really hard to navigate. Ruby’s system is still so immature, it could just be that her little self will come right in another month or so. Do your thang. Meanwhile, changes to your diet are not going to hurt her and if nothing else may make you feel better phyiscally and emotionally. Keep it up!

Rebecca January 4, 2013 at 8:44 pm

Wow, I can’t believe how rude and judgy people are being about this! People, leave this poor woman alone! Modg, there is no question in my eyes that you are an awesome mama and only YOU will know what is right for your family, not these hooligan commenters! I’m pulling for you, whatever happens.

Chrissy January 4, 2013 at 9:03 pm

Way to go, Amanda…I do love to see people standing up for themselves. Liz and Sam ARE being rude. :P to them.

Gracie January 4, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Definitely rude. MODG – you’re the only one who knows what is right for your children, and you’re trying your damndest, which is all that matters. Go girl.

Lauren @ T&G January 4, 2013 at 11:31 am

My baby is failing to gain weight properly, and I thought well if I have to switch to formula to help him thrive then it’s not such a big deal. But after we went to the Dr and I really considered not breastfeeding any more, or even just supplementing with formula… everything felt very wrong. Like even just thinking about it was betraying my instincts to do what is best for him. So now I am having to wake myself up twice at night to pump and then supplement him with that which is effing miserable, but I just couldn’t feel right about the formula thing. Even though I thought that I wasn’t so attached to the emotional benefits of BF.

The paleo diet is the best thing that ever happened to my health. I was on it when I got pregnant and the Dr said I had the best blood tests he had ever seen. Plus, I hear it makes your breastmilk like straight up cream. I’m too hungry and stressed to keep up with it at the moment, but in a perfect world, I’d be having spinach with every meal again.

Lauren @ T&G January 4, 2013 at 11:33 am

Oh, and I like guzzled canned coconut milk when I needed something rich. But make sure it’s the special Asian kind in the international foods isle.

Erin January 4, 2013 at 11:36 am

Julie Senko at West Chester Wellness Center. She will help!

Jenn January 4, 2013 at 12:48 pm

Man, I really want to be supportive. I do. But I just can’t fathom why you would put Ruby through this knowing how it makes her feel. You are coming off as selfish and that is the complete opposite of what you are. I know being a long time reader you would go to the ends of the earth to make sure your kids are happy and healthy. So why not with this? Formula is not the end of the world and perhaps there are different brands/options that are not as expensive. Have you considered other milk options like goat milk? I just seems that there is a better solution for both of you.

MODG January 4, 2013 at 2:21 pm

As I mentioned, formula would be a huge difficulty for us financially. 300 dollars a month to be exact. Breastmilk is the healthier option. Why wouldn’t I TRY to make it better if I had that in my power? If formula feeding mom had a sick baby, she would probably switch formulas and not drop it all together and start breastfeeding. Why is this any different? I think I’m going to the ends of the earth for my daughter and that is not selfish at all.

Jenn January 4, 2013 at 3:01 pm

If you can switch your milk more power to you. The point you made in your post however was that it doesn’t matter what you eat – your body puts it into your breastmilk and she can’t digest it. Breastmilk is healthier in an ideal situation but so many things affect it (lack of nutrients in mom’s milk, low production, and the issue you have) and that takes that ideal, healthy breastmilk to a different place. It’s no longer ideal and you need to do something else. My sister struggled with her baby not gaining weight and guess what? Her breastmilk was just not providing the nutrients it should. It did not matter what she ate or didn’t eat it was the kind of milk her body produced.

You shouldn’t feel like you are not bonding with Ruby or that your body is broken. It’s nature, for better or worse. Make your night routine you giving her that bottle, make everything in the situation as close to possible as breastfeeding and you will feel that bonding.

I really do wish you the best of luck!

Melissa January 5, 2013 at 8:06 am

Modg this is different because its YOU that’s making your baby sick. I really think you are so pissed you didn’t get the birth you wanted (again) that you are hell bent on something that ISN’T working- and your BABY is suffering. Have you been screened for ppd?

Why not give it a 48hour formula trial where you pump and dump? See if poor Ruby gets some comfort? If she doesn’t, resume nursing. If she does, choose HER health and comfort over your ego and desire to lose weight. It’s weird. I really hope you get the help you need to see this in perspective. If you have to put the formula on credit card or skip a weekend vacation this year….. Well, wouldn’t we do anything for our babies? I breastfed 3 for years, but I wasn’t hurting them OR me. I would have chosen their comfort over my ego- and would have recognize that parenting two while living on some deprivation drama diet that *may* give my sweet baby relief after several *weeks* wasn’t really all that kind.

Good luck with whatever you decide. It really, truly should be more fun than this.

Lauren January 4, 2013 at 1:32 pm

I was Paleo prior to becoming pregnant, but when I craved carbs and pasta and couldn’t deal anymore I had to cave. I will say that my skin and body looked and FELT the best while I was doing it. And I’m hoping now that I’m in my second trimester and I can head towards that direction again. My biggest thing is I have a major major sweet tooth. Here’s a recipe for paleo chocolate chip cookies I would make ALL THE TIME because they are actually GOOD and taste like real chocolate chip cookies You can buy almond flour on Amazon, it’s like $20 for 2 pounds which is insane, but hey, you get healthified chocolate chip cookies out of it :) Another great website is, she has TONS of recipes and has kids too (which means they are good and her kids like them!) Good luck! You’re going to feel great :) And hopefully little Ruby will reap the benefits too!

kat January 4, 2013 at 1:46 pm

P had the little “seeds” and it was just curled breastmilk. I wish I could help you with the breastfeeding issues…. I know there are lots of “experts” that say to feed more often in smaller quantities or less often in larger quantities. I can never get those straight. I just remember the first month of breastfeeding my little Peanut was projectile vomiting everything she ate. And then magically, she just stopped.

Darbi January 4, 2013 at 2:00 pm

MODG, I don’t have kids and can’t help with the breast-feeding portion, but I feel you on the diet portion. In the last 7 years, I’ve developed intolerances to lactose, soy, eggs and just recently almonds. (No milk of any kind for me!) I’ve also made the choice to cut out gluten because it tends to not love me either. I feel Ruby’s pain because I’ve spent more time on the toilet than probably all of these commenters combined. I seem to find new things every day that my body hates. Paleo can be tough and frustrating and definitely an adjustment. Lucky for us both, it is the “popular” diet these days and there are tons of resources out there. I know people here have listed a lot of the ones I frequent.
My only advice is stick with it! After months of being strict about it, I felt amazing. 2 weeks of holiday indulgence has made me sicker than ever. I’m cleansing now and back to Paleo for good. The pain and discomfort isn’t worth it for me. You get used to the food. You will always miss real pizza (that substitute paleo pizza doesn’t cut it) but Ruby won’t be breast-feeding forever and you can eat it again one day. It isn’t as crazy as you think it is. I live on meat and veggies. I do fruit smoothies with vegan protein powder in them. On a side note, you’ll also lose that baby weight quicker and my skin looks better than ever when I’m eating clean!
Good luck and we are here for you no matter what you do.

~~Hearts, Sparkles, and Danny Tanner Love!~~

Lorah January 4, 2013 at 2:21 pm

I can totally understand how you feel about breastfeeding. At first I was like “I’ll try to do this for 6 weeks and then quit when I go back to work” And then it was 3 months, and now 6 months. And I will probably go until a year. I almost quit when she projectile vomited everywhere all the time, then I almost quit when she would nurse less than 5 minutes and then scream for no reason, and now she is being a very gassy baby and horrible to burp which compounds the problem. But I will keep going until I feel ready to quit. And you should too. Whether that is one more day or one more year :)
You will figure it out and you will get it right with her. Maybe what she is going through is exactly what G did, and maybe it wasn’t anything you did to “fix” it and maybe he just outgrew it. I know you had such a hard time with him for so long and unfortunatly maybe it will just be something to wait for with Ruby.
Here is wishing you the best and you do what is best for you. Us moms always question everything we do, but it is ultimatly your decisions and you know what is best for your babies.

Heather January 4, 2013 at 2:22 pm

Keep trying. I was told it would take a month for “everything” to get out of my and my daughter’s system. Just over 8 weeks later we saw improvement. Like many others I was offered the $30 can and looked at like I have seven heads when I said i was going on “the diet.” But I was doing this for my baby.

Erin January 4, 2013 at 2:55 pm

I think a deep breath is in order. So many people struggle. It is HARD to be a mom. It just seems that maybe you seek out the drama. Not everything is the end of the world and not everything requires some impossible horrendous fix. It makes for a good read and a funny story and lots of attention. But, gosh, sometimes babies are just babies. I have friends whose babies didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months. Newborns scream. One of my best friend’s son was born with a congenital heart defect and has endured multiple surgeries while they live out of a hospital room. All of these people complain less.
Is it hard to have a new baby? Yep. Is it hard to have a colicky baby? Yep. It just seems like you’re losing so much in making everything so darn dramatic.

Chrissy January 4, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Have you had a child with food intolerance? If not, shut up. You don’t know. You don’t know ANYTHING. I have three and it is a big freaking deal. She isn’t complaining, she is sharing her life with us, the parts that are sparkly and pretty and the parts that aren’t.
I didn’t hear Amanda compare her situation to that of a family whose child has a serious congenital defect ONE TIME. Talk about drama.

Julie January 5, 2013 at 2:01 pm

Wow Erin. Wow.

megan January 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm

I am a GF vegan who eats very clean. I have always had gut trouble. I don’t remember pooping as a child. Ever. I became a vegan when I was 14 and finally started pooping. And slowly, slowly I have been eating cleaner and cleaner and getting my gut in shape. It is hard. and it sucks. And sometimes I cry at cupcakes. And sometimes I eat those cupcakes and don’t poop for a week. BUT it is doable. and it isn’t horrible. I eat fruit, veggies (lots and lots of veggies!), quinoa, nuts, seeds, legumes, and sometimes rice and rice products (rice noodles, brown rice tortillas). I find that raw vegan restaurants are great places to get fixes for things in a paleo like way. There is one in Philadelphia (link below)! If you are ever in austin Texas they have a raw restaurant called beets that has awesome pizza.

Dannis January 4, 2013 at 4:34 pm

Well damn.
I really wasn’t gonna comment. But then I scanned through a couple of these comments and blood began to boil.
I’ll be praying for you and your family. That’s the best I can do. It works.
I’m not sure if you’ve been to a pediatric GI doctor yet but ours helped me a ton.
He told me the tiny bit of dairy in my breastmilk CAN take up to 6-8 weeks to clear my system.
He told me soy lecithin IS digestible by adults with mspi but not babies. So don’t eat that either.

You got tons of tips about paleo so go for it! Lose some lbs for me while you’re at it! You’ll end up looking like one of the olsons in no time!
I cut out dairy/soy for 6 weeks, but quit and once I started formula(neocate) there were serious doubts in myself but at least I quit blaming myself for her screams. And she got better. And she’s fine now. And I pumped for a little while after and kept all that frozen breastmilk for months and months and cried when I threw it away. I still wonder if I could’ve toughed it out…

Check out period of purple crying dot com too… Just something I found during my baby’s ‘screamfest’
I also found lotsa good stuff at Costco to eat. Kashi meals and fruit snacks and stuff…
No matter what you do, trust yourself. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re a great mom. It’s obvi.

Allyson January 4, 2013 at 5:23 pm

I love your blog and never comment but I feel so compelled to! I had the same yucky c-section (topped off with a baby that was vacuumed out of me face first- after the vacuum broke once time and sliced his face…permanent scar…awesomeness) and I could never get my little one to latch even after trying for 6 weeks with a lactation consultant. ANYWAYS my son was diagnosed around six months with FPIES. Its a leaky gut basically. He shot mucous shit all over our house when we were trying to let him air dry to heal the diaper rash caused by the acid in the poo. Just thought it might be something to look into! Its mostly in babies but there are older people who have it too. Good luck and keep your head up mama. Youre doing a great job!

Mallory January 4, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Hoping you can heal your gut and find a solution. Breastfeeding is all I know as well, and I commend you for trying everything. That takes A LOT of strength. I hope some of these negative, hurtful comments do not stop you from blogging about this experience. You are helping so many more people that are going through the same things. Unfortunately aggressive and mean comments seem to stick out more than the kind and supportive ones. In this case, I hope they do not.

I have a close friend whO, while breastfeeding her son, learned of her leaky gut issues and also many food allergies that he had. She gave up a lot to breastfeeding him, but was incredibly successful and breastfeeding until he was 3. Which I’m sure in itself could get a lot of criticism, but I think it says a lot about the strength and determination of a mother.

Like you’ve said many times, we should never ever judge each others decisions and paths as mothers. We all are just trying to do what we know is best for our individual child. Everyone’s path is different. I have no doubt that if you ever have to make the decision to switch to formula for Rubys health you will. Until then, you are absolutely doing the right thing for her and for you. And no one has a right to question your choice, public forum or not.

I feel like the few times I comment my comments are always long and serious, but I guess I just have difficulty understanding why someone would stop and make such horrible comments to someone who is just willing to be honest about what they’re going through.

Good luck with this stage!!! You are a wonderful mommy – I’m sure you already know that but it is always nice to hear.

Emily January 4, 2013 at 5:41 pm

i never comment, but felt the need to send you some cyber hugs. i’ve got 3 little ones (EBF them all) & know how hard BF is even without all the stresses you’ve had to deal with, so i feel for you & can’t even imagine how hard this has all been!! i’m so sorry you’ve been dealt such a rough hand, and i hope things get better SOON. go easy on yourself. you are not broken. (either that, or we all are to some extent, in our own ways…) if you do end up FF, please don’t think of it as a personal failure. you have clearly done EVERYTHING in your power to bring your babies into the world safely, & give them the best care once they’ve arrived as well. hugs. you are a great mom. you will do what’s best for your baby, yourself, your family. huge hugs!!

Lindsey January 4, 2013 at 5:57 pm

I don’t know if anyone else has suggested this, I can read 104 comments, mad props to you if you can! Anyway, babies also hate my breast milk because I too am broken. I have leaky gut that caused Crohn’s disease. So when my second was 4 months I started The Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD), which is similar to Paleo, but created faster gut healing for me than previously attempted Paleo. There is a nerdy scientific book “breaking the vicious cycle” which you can get on amazon, which will get you started, and a cookbook I used a lot was “healing foods” also on Amazon. A big part of this diet will be homemade yogurt. I got a yogurt maker from Williams and Sonoma, and used goat milk or almond milk…..I hope you get time to check this out, it really helped me and my baby feel better and changed things around so I could breast feed, without being hated by her belly!

Lindsey January 4, 2013 at 6:10 pm
Emily January 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm

very interesting article:
Is The Medical Community Failing Breastfeeding Moms?

Chrissy January 4, 2013 at 9:23 pm

I used to moderate the kids site for Specific Carbohydrate Diet….because my whole family was on it for three years. I have also BFed all my boys for 2+ years…those are some serious hippie bonafides, y’all. If there are any questions at all about SCD that you have, my email is I don’t mind giving it to y’all because hey, who uses email anymore anyway? I check it once a week. lol

Just so you feel better…you CAN change your milk, you CAN change your gut and you CAN heal the whole thing. It will take time and a lot of experimentation during that time. It won’t be easy. I started it when my youngest was six months and BFing on demand…so, basically…all the damn time. I was doing it for my oldest son, who was diagnosed with autism. Thanks to all this crazy diet stuff and lots and lots and lots of research and supplements and hippie stuff he was just recently un-diagnosed with autism, he now is diagnosed with just ADHD and dyslexia (that’s totally like going from having a thing people whisper about to having a freaking cold that no one thinks is that big of a deal…the difference cracks me up). All I’m saying is this….Mamas can do amazing things and that means you. Anyone that judges you is just a bitch. Anyone that tries to act like you are not putting your child first is just a bitch. And in neither of those cases are they the good kind of bitch that is fun to go out with and drink and talk about shit.

Seriously, if you have questions or just want to complain, email me. I am sort of a professional now. LOL

Anna January 4, 2013 at 9:40 pm

Best bit of breastfeeding advice I ever got; Never give up on your worst day.

It got me through a few of those god-awful days, knowing that on a better day I would reassess and decide if breastfeeding was still the best option for us.

You do have the ability to change your milk, your feeding patterns etc. and you will find the right balance for your little girl. It just sucks to be having to do it all when you have a newborn and a toddler to deal with too.

Formula also brings its own set of problems, don’t (I don’t think you do, but…) think it is the magic bullet. Especially for a child with the potential for intolerances and/or allergies. I’ve seen it over and over again on the forums/fb pages of the Food Intolerance Network ( where parents have no end of trouble getting their child a formula they can tolerate.

Chrissy January 4, 2013 at 11:33 pm

I think “Never give up on your worst day” is probably ideal advice for all of life, isn’t it? That is stellar. Love it.

Veralynn @ Joie de V January 4, 2013 at 11:37 pm

I remember reading a post a while back (sorry, I can’t remember which one) where you had said that if breastfeeding was as difficult with Ruby as it was with G that you would consider switching to formula just to relieve the emotional/mental distress on yourself and to be a happy, healthy mom to your babies. I breathed a sigh of relief when I read that post because the pressure you’ve put on yourself to “win points for Team Hippie” is enormous and it literally is painful to watch you put such a burden on yourself. There is a difference between doing things the “hippie way” because they are healthy and because they work for you and your family and doing things the “hippie way” because you will feel like a failure if you don’t do it.

From what I have read you are miserable and Ruby is miserable and that sucks. Of course, I’m not in your head and I don’t know what’s going on in your heart but you’re not a failure for having two C-sections, and you are a mom who obviously gave up so much to breastfeed with G and to breastfeed Ruby now. But you’re not a failure if you feed Ruby with formula. I know you also wrote that a big factor is financial and that it terrible because no mother should be forced into a corner about how to feed her infant because of finances. (Side note: if- and I understand if this is a very big if- you ever decide to bottlefeed, I agree 110% with the comment above that suggested the Holle formula from Europe. It’s wonderful and very different from the formula offered here in the US, and much more cost-effective.)

I’m not telling you what you should do, because honestly I don’t know and I haven’t been through your exact situation. I just hope that if, in the back of your mind, you’re holding out because you can’t bear another disappointment in hippiedom, just remember that crap does not define you. Or, at least, it shouldn’t.

Wishing you the best, whatever path you take.


sarah January 5, 2013 at 2:28 am

Ahhhh. I don’t have kids but I’m right there with you. I first went on Paleo about a year and a half ago, and it’s been great for my health/body and helped me lose a bunch of stubborn weight/fat to boot, but as time has gone on I’ve gotten a little more lax and had more and more cheats. My stomach has noticed and now it’s giving me a lot of trouble, so starting yesterday I’m back on a much stricter Paleo and I’m going to try extremely hard to resist the cheats I used to give in to. I can vouch though that Paleo is awesome and WILL change you/your life for the better. The only downside is that it makes your grocery bill a little bit higher overall because of what you’re buying (grains are cheap after all), but it keeps my weight under control effortlessly and when I’m sticking to it I feel great and rarely get sick. I definitely think it’s the best way for you to heal your gut and have a happy/healthy body & baby, and I’m glad you’ve landed on this solution. Good luck and keep us posted!!!

Oh, and maybe you already know, but LARABARS are amazing. And Sunbutter is the perfect PB substitute.

Ellen January 5, 2013 at 9:16 am

Man, nothing like a post about breastfeeding to bring out the bitches. F everybody who is not being supportive.

My daughter developed some pretty explosive, green, foamy, foul poop during her second month. I had crazy oversupply and mastitis twice because there was no way Jane could drink as much as I was producing. I know other people have commented about foremilk/hindmilk balance, which is what I think my problem ultimately was. My pediatrician didn’t seem phased by it, and my midwife told me only breastfeeding “nazis” cared about it being a problem.

I talked to a few lactation consultants and even attended a breastfeeding clinic with the lady that WROTE The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding…Diane Wiessinger herself. The lactation consultants suggested I “pump off” every morning to relieve the discomfort and remove some foremilk. However, Wiessinger told me to chill and that everything would even out. She said that “pumping off” may help a bit, but it was annoying and not convenient…so I should skip it. It took another month or 2 for my milk supply to regulate, even though I still could probably feed all the babies in the neighborhood a year later.

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