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3 weeks down a BILLION to go. Babies hate me.

December 11, 2012

As many of you know who were around last year, once Operation WANA kicks off, this blog goes crazy for the rest of the month. So before that happens, I wanted to update you on life in the MODG house.

I remember posting a lot about how hard it was when G was born. Someone commented something like, “what are you complaining about…you only have one kid” and I was all YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW. Dudes, she was right. What the F was I complaining about? 2 kids is like way more than double hard. I however happen to have kids that you can’t put down without the cryren (cry siren) alerting the town.

I’m going to confess something. I still haven’t had a whole day alone with both kids. 40% of that is because of the c-section recovery. 60% is because I’m scared out of my mind. Ruby nurses 22 and a half hours a day. G does not do well at things like “sitting nicely” and “waiting”. And honestly, B is afraid to leave me too.

G just had his 2nd birthday. He got a shovel, balloons and an attitude. He isn’t playing. JUST in time for new baby. All I see is him running into traffic, laughing into the wind and giving me the finger. Ok he’s not that bad. But I really don’t know how people do it with a newborn and a 2 year old.

And then it happened. My biggest fear. Ruby farted. She didn’t just fart, she farted all day all week all NIGHT. And not just baby farts, big man painful farts. Just like her brother did. And I was instantly taken back to the hell on earth that was my breastfeeding experience with G. I remembered how hard it was to figure out what was causing it. Was it his latch? My diet? Tongue tie? Overproduction? Just him being a fart pants? And babies are annoying because they can’t tell you what’s going on. No matter how many times you ask.

If you remember I ended up cutting out dairy, soy and wheat for almost 6 months. It was total hell. Seriously. And here I am again. I realized that I was dehydrated and needed way more water than I was taking in, which helped. But not this time. So dairy is gone. And I want to cry. Not for my missing cheese, but for this path that I could have to go down again.

But I will tell you this. And many of you die hards will curse me out for this. I will not do it again. I can’t. If we get even close to the place we were again, Ruby will be getting an allergy specific formula. You know how hard core I am about breastfeeding so I hope you understand how FOR REAL this situation would have to be to go down that path. But I look back and realized that I was not taking care of myself at all during that time. And I’ve learned that to be a good mom, I have to take care of myself.

We’re not there yet and hopefully we won’t get there. But my birth experience taught me a lot. You don’t know how someone got to the place they are. You don’t know why that woman has a scheduled c-section. Maybe she was up all night crying about it. Maybe she wasn’t. Why is that woman feeding her baby formula? Maybe her baby was a premie and her milk didn’t come in yet. Maybe her milk never came in. Maybe she is deep in PPD. So I’m going to do the best I can to not judge and not worry about others judging me. I need to do what’s best for us.

So pray to Britney for us that things get a little bit better and this all works out.

In the mean time leave me comments with great dairy free tricks and magic and also magic to make babies stop farting.


The winner of the 6 months free to Turning Art is

I like this one – Bamboo Bar Code Turning Art is a great idea, I’d love to try that out. I need art for my bedroom… We’re not exchanging gifts this year, just too many other expenses plus the kids gifts, so we’ll skip it this year. We’ll just enjoy each other…awww..ha.

email me Melissa at modgblog at gmail dot com


And this life update was brought to you by a super cute baby store, Green Pea Baby and Child, focused on unique toys and gifts with a healthy organic flare. Just my thing. I browsed this store for like an hour. I want everything. I especially love these hand knit dolls. Bonus, with the code HSP2012, you get 15% off of toys and ornaments with free shipping. Check them out for goodness and stuff.


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  • Jen December 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Hugs to you!!! I’m permanently dairy free (along with gluten, grains, refined sugar and soy – whoo hoo – to deal with my autoimmune disease). Remember that Oreos are dairy free! Yum! I’d kill for a damn Oreo right now.

    I’m a die-hard breastfeeding proponent – BUT, I still believe that it is more important for a mom to feel healthy and happy and up for being a great parent to her kiddos. Good for you for having the wisdom to know how to take care of yourself. <3

    • Katic C December 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      How could I forget to add that Oreos are dairy free! Mmmm

    • Stephanie December 11, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      Holy shit!!!! No way!!!! Oreos are dairy-free!!!!!! I have a dairy allergy so I can’t do dairy either. Otherwise I get rashes, farts, preggers belly but really it’s just a fart belly, pimples, you name it I get it.

      Woot woot!

  • Katic C December 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    I went without dairy for 8 months while breastfeeding my son. It was really hard in the beginning but I found some alternatives. First, coconut milk ice cream is TO DIE FOR. It used to get me through the day, knowing at night I could stuff my face with delicious ice cream. Also, Tomato Pie. It’s pizza dough with chunky sauce and parm cheese on top. Just ask for no cheese and it’s like eating pizza. I’ve heard rice milk is good if you drink straight milk. Coffee Rich is a nondairy coffee creamer that you find in the frozen section and it can be used in recipes that call for cream, half and half, or milk. Earth Balance is a good butter substitute.

    Good luck and don’t EVER feel bad about using formula. You said it right, you have to take care of yourself if you’re going to be a good mom. I hope this dairy stuff helps but if not, do what is best for your family!

  • Rachel B - Busy Mama December 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Ever tried baby yoga? You can buy Itsy Bitsy Yoga DVD’s. It really helped my son’s tummy issues when he was an infant. And that kiddo had some gnarly gas.

    In terms of dairy, if you can eat nuts almond milk is pretty good and comes in a ton of flavors, unsweetened and not.

  • Leigh December 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Dude. GOOD FOR YOU.

    You’ve got to put your health and well-being first and I’m glad you’re blogging about it. I hope that you get to continue breastfeeding since that is something that you are very committed to, but I’m so so glad that you realize the you gotta look out for yourself too.

    • Kellee December 13, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      Ditto to this. You have to take care of you before you can take care of tiny, adorable hellians. A sane and healthy mama is every bit as important to a baby’s well-being as breastfeeding.

      Also, your hair looks completely amazing.

  • K December 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Don’t forget to drink plenty of water :)

  • Hannah December 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Listen. I’ve been there. I had a colic baby with a 2.5 year old. You do what is BEST for you. And f everyone and anyone else who says anything different. I will be here praying for you, cheering you on. You can do this. It will suck for a while…you know, while you figure things out. But you are a wonderful mom and wife and you WILL figure it out.


  • Alison December 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I am always appreciative of your honesty. My second is due in May and I am already DREADING nursing. I have started an open dialogue with my husband about it – would it be OK with him if I didn’t nurse? what if I could do it for a month? what if I just started out doing half formula and half breast milk from the beginning? As always, he is extremely supportive of whatever conclusion I come to that I can live with. I’m just trying to find a middle ground between the part of me that hates nursing (not at all inferring that that is part of your issue) and the part of me that wants to give my baby my immunity. *Sigh*

    • Allison December 11, 2012 at 11:56 pm

      Wow, crazy to see this from another Al(l)ison. Seriously, a part of me that fears getting pregnant again is my loathing of breastfeeding. I just hated it. But I did it for 11 months with my daughter until she graciously self-weaned.

      Ugh, I wish it were easy!

    • Megan December 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      May I suggest that if breastfeeding is difficult, that you pump for the first 8 weeks (rent a hospital grade pump), then give it up if necessary? Most of the benefits of breastfeeding regarding immunity are conferred during the first 2 – 3 months. I did this and I felt good that I made the effort, and didn’t feel badly when we moved exclusively to formula after that.

  • Veronica December 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Have you tried those tummy wraps you warm up in the microwave and have the herbal inserts (lavender, cammomile and something?) People swear by those things. I also had terrible man farts and screamy baby hell with both of mine for the first few months. They eventually got over it, but until then, man, you really do think you will not survive, don’t you? I hear you. Mine are two years apart to the day, and I am still shocked that my oldest hasn’t actually given me the finger, she is wild as all hell. We should get all four together in a room, lock them in, and go have some cocktails and bitch about them and then cry about how much we love them.

    Anyway, yeah, babies are effing hard, but it will get better. And lucky you, to have a B stay home with you three. :) Warmed my heart.

    • Melissa December 11, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Be careful with those rice packs. They can get hot spots and burn the baby. Yeah you’ll feel like a great mom if that happens!

  • SusanL December 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    I was a vegetarian for a couple of years in college, and I always loved vanilla soy milk. But stay far, far away from the soy cheese. Very bad. Tastes like evil. But soy ice cream= amazing.

  • Rachael December 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Lord, help me…I’m due in February with a boy, and my daughter will turn 2 on the 17th. Sending you happy gas-free vibes for poor little Ruby. I cannot imagine having to cut out dairy. I know when Ali was born, she had crazy bad reflux on my breastmilk. She was born via c-section at 37 weeks because I had placenta previa. I was beside myself thinking I was doing something wrong. Finally I had to just give up breastfeeding, my supply was dropping like crazy, she wasn’t latching on quite right, and I was crazy bonkers and couldn’t deal with it anymore. We switched her over to formula, she stopped spitting up like it was her job, and I regained (most of) my sanity and I feel I was a much better mother to her after that. We unfortunately have to pick our battles in this whole mothering thing. No shame in switching to formula, at least you tried. Good luck mama!

  • Laura Tyler December 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    I totally understand the way you are feeling right now. Having to go through what you went through with G would turn anyone the other way. Take things slowly tho. Don’t cut out all dairy, just start with cheese and milk. They have higher milk protein then say, cream cheese or other dairy based products. I also find garlic is a baby farting product. I remember having 1 slice of garlic bread and my daughter was up all night farting! Right along side my husband. Urgh, it was horrible!!
    But then i had a very good friend who tried everything to breastfeed, and i mean everything. Lactation consultant after consultant, cut out everything for 6 months to find out that nothing was helping her daughter, she ended up putting her on a very special doctor recommended formula. She told me that the day she started giving her daughter that, was the day she smiled for the first time. Baby stopped crying/farting and everyone was happy. No more anti depressants for mumma and baby was happy. Happy mumma = happy family. Good luck babe, the brits are rooting for ya! xx

  • Lauren December 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    I never had to go through cutting foods out of my diet, but I had a fart baby. We did LOTS of colic massage and gas drops. But, making sure to give gas drops and then burp the kid like your life depends on it. I can’t help with the dairy. I mourn cheese for you. Don’t feel bad about the possibility of formula. My girl is 8 months old. Breast feeding was so easy until 2 months ago. I got a stomach bug and my supply dropped. Then I got some raging mastitis and it dropped more. We have to supplement some. I just started antibiotics for another round of mastitis and worry that this may kill my supply on this one side. All of my ideas for breast feeding have been altered. My natural birth was killed by an emergency section too. Hold your head high regardless (though I hope it all works out for your baby and boobs) because you realize that your family needs YOU. Ruby will be great no matter what she eats, and you need to e non stressed for both your kids. 2 sounds like a crazy ride, but you seem to be doing great!

  • Meredith December 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    So I don’t know anything (along with the rest of you, ha). But I had a farty pants baby and I was like shrugs, sucks for you baby. Ok, I wasn’t. I didn’t cut thing out totally, I just did super moderation. Plus, I only had time to eat Luna bars anyways. 1st baby was gassy, green frothy poopy, etc. etc. I really never did a hard diet change. But I did notice her poop got better at night. Higher fat content? Slower Let down? I started pulling her off when my let down happened and letting my milk flow to a trickle. And then some. Put her back on and nurse away. She didn’t have to choke all that foremilk down and the milk has way less sugar (lactose) which is what gets us all riled up. I still used gas drops on rough days. Try letting your flow slow!!! I did it with this 2nd baby from the get go and saw lots of nice yellow poop. It was lovely. He still screamed and was a monster but not from burning green poop. So that’s good.

    • Jill December 12, 2012 at 10:13 am

      Super interested….. I have an almost 6 month old baby girl who was literally the HAPPIEST baby on the planet (don’t hate me, because I did the fussy/cry/DAIRY ALLERGY with my first baby). Anyway, all of a sudden she is fussy and she has always had green poops – probably an over-supply issue – but a few times in the past week or so there has been a little blood in her poop (I know, could be a fissure) but I’m of course freaking out about a dairy issue… but I can’t imagine it would show up this late in the game. With my son, we knew something was going on at 3 weeks, and I was OFF dairy & soy by 6 weeks… Anyway, I will be trying this tactic, because I have an over-supply and high volume let-down.

  • jessica December 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    Good for you! I had a really hard time getting my son to nurse and after 4 months of tears and frustratio, I stopped. The worst part was feeling like i had failed at being a mom because breastfeeding wasn’t a success. I now know that this is not true at all. Baby number 2 is on the way and I refuse to let my fears of what people willl think of me If i can’t breastfeed again. Good for you for recognizing that you are just as important as ruby. Formula is not the end of the world if that’s what you decide to do.

  • Stephanie December 11, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    Almond Milk. Fav. I’m sure you know about it already, but Trader Joe’s unsweetened vanilla is the best.

    I hope it’s just dairy. That’s not too bad.

    My babies were/are bottle fed. I make no milk (one oz per day when nursing 20 mins each side followed by 10 mins of pumping, six 12 times a day). If I were a nomad, I’d have to be a hunter and beg someone to feed my children.

  • Carolyn December 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    I’ve been a vegan for years and my baby is farts like a man too. I don’t know what else I could possibly cut out of my diet. She stopped the 5 o’clock cry fest at 2 months which I thought was caused by gas, and now she just farts when she wants to and is a happy baby. Good luck.

  • Sarah RDH December 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Deep breath……you’ll get through it. 2 yrs apart is WAY hard. My #2 & 3 are 2 yrs apart and it was much harder than 1 & 2, which is 3 yrs. 2 yr olds are still just so needy. And this is my 2nd in a row on allergy specific formula. Believe me MODG, I feel your pain. I so wish I could be at home with my babies too, but I’m still stuck working 45 hrs a week on top of it all off. I never wanted to be a SAHM until this baby, and now we need my income. Boo. All of us are burdened with mom guilt over something. Some of us more than others. Sometimes you just need a good cry. Then you pick yourself up and move on. You’re a GREAT mom, YOU GOT THIS!!! :)

  • Lauren @ T&G December 11, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Our baby sharts about 10 times a day. My husband and I are both in shock when we hear a distinctly dry fart that doesn’t necessitate a diaper change. It has me severely anxious about starting on the cloth diapers we bought.

    I totally hear you on the formula. We had a horrible first 5 weeks, and I remember HOPING there was a medical reason that would allow me to stop guilt-free. Luckily we persevered and everything is fine now. I did the paleo diet for like six weeks last year, and it was the hardest thing ever. EVER. And it made me feel depressed and like I was missing out on real life… so I can’t imagine going through all the hardcore elimination diets that you endured with G.

  • Bryn December 11, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    congrats on 3 weeks! I did dairy free (like crazy dairy free without casein or whey) with my first too…oreos and candy corn were my savior. I have no tricks. I want to never think about that time period again, but I also remember eating a lot of subway no cheese but put EVERYTHING else on the sandwich. After like 6 months of EBF, I started adding in formula because I work weekend nights and I wasnt sleeping well and taking anti-histamines which in turn dwindled my supply but I NEEDED to sleep and take care of myself, so formula it was. I cared about it for 5 seconds, but the baby did well, hes super healthy and happy. I can not imagine what it is like to breast feed on demand with a 2 year old at home too, so congrats on making it 3 weeks, really. I think no matter how long you breast feed for, a year…5 months…3 days….you did it. I am due with my second in June and they will be 22 months apart so I am just seeing how this all goes for you and mentally preparing myself! Anyways, take care of yourself! And good luck to you and your fam!

  • Christina December 11, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Dude. I know it’s hard. My kids are close in age (now 14 & 11). YOU WILL GET THRU THIS. And ~ you’ll look back and go “oh those were the sweet times”. If I could trade now for then I would jump on that gravy train! I love love LOVE my kids – but they were so much easier at newborn and 2 1/2. I get that you have to completely alter your diet and I get that G is totally like “hey mom, remember me? well I do so pay attention” but you can do this! You already went thru the biggest change (G) – this is also a change but one that you’ve pretty much already gone thru once before so you’ll be fine. And quite honestly – I know you’re all about breast feeding but if you, R and G are all suffering then it might be something you need to look at not doing any longer. G and R are only this age today – tomorrow they will be older and you can’t go back and re-spend quality time with either one of them (no thanks to the non-existant Doc and his non-existant Delorian).. so perhaps letting go of the “I’ll breastfeed until she say’s maccaroni and cheese” mindset is an idea that shouldn’t be thrown out the window. I know you want to be strong but NOBODY can or should look down on Mommy’s that cannot breastfeed for a full year. I did it as long as I could with both kids (6 weeks with one, seven months with the other) – but if I was absolutely miserable *to the point where I no longer enjoyed being a new(again) mommy* I would have been okay with not breastfeeding. Well, I’m rambling. You’ll be fine and you’ll do what you know to be best for your sweet little family <3 Prayers and pinches to you and your bitches

  • Kristin December 11, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    I laughed when I read the G turned two and is nuts. My boy turned two 10 days after my daughter was born. I’ll never forget calling my husband crying as I nursed the baby and my son trying to pull the hoppy out from under me and me pulling it back. Or the time he was whipping toys at me for attention while nursing. Hang in there, it gets better…. Or should I say you just get used to the organized chaos and that everything is a beautiful cluster f*ck!! :-) as Brit Brit says, your stronger than yesterday.

  • Lauren December 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    One word: probiotics. I had a demon child from hell (sorry, it’s true) for the first eight weeks of her life. If she was awake, which was most of the time, she was screaming. We tried everything possible: I cut dairy, acidic foods, air, everything out of my diet. FINALLY my chiropractor recommended probiotics. Babies are supposed to get this natural flora blah blah when they go through your birth canal. I was on antibiotics during (my 26-hour) labor so my kid never got that flora. Since you had a section, Ruby wouldn’t have gotten them either. I mixed a little scoop with a bottle of breast milk once a day and my daughter was a different kiddo within three days. I get our probiotics at Whole Foods. Hang in there!

    • Kara December 11, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      I second the probiotics! My son was a little fart monster. I knew in my gut it wasn’t related to dairy, etc. and actually figured out (thanks to you) that an over supply was largely our issue. Correcting that helped, but the probiotics made the biggest difference.

    • Chrissy December 11, 2012 at 11:31 pm

      Yep…babies need probiotics…we do too. Totally worth a try!

    • KSweazea December 12, 2012 at 1:25 am

      I Also SWEAR by Probiotics. Udo’s choice infant! Whole foods, about 20 bucks, and the bottle lasted us 4ish months! Wegmans doesnt carry infant, only adult so its worth the trip to Plymoth Meeting! and while your there buy yourself some too Mama! Put the powder on you before she nurses or pump a little and mix together and give with a oral syringe. We no longer need the prescription Zantac and he is the happiest baby now! Try it!!!!

      • Lindsey December 12, 2012 at 7:56 pm

        This brings back bad memories of my dark days, but reading through all these comments is making me feel like “where were all these people with monster babies when I had my two”?! I feel for you, and am glad your not having to be alone with two kiddos yet! Both my girls were c-sections (breech), both were colic, acid reflux and allergic to life itself. Probiotics were a help, and honestly, so was allergy specific formula. With my first I breasted for 11 months with total elimination of anything worth eating, and she was still t-Rex. With my second it was the same deal BUT I got super sick when she was 4 months (that’s what happens when you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and take care of 2 kids in diapers, FYI), and ended up in the hospital, ending my breast feeding fiasco. BEST tragedy ever! She went on Alimentum and a probiotic and became more manageable, like a normal baby T-Rex). I will drive the 45 mins to Plymoth Meeting and get that shit for you! You probably fell asleep reading this (I would), but hang in there, tell the judgies to suck it, and congrats on being 3 weeks into the terrible two’s, and 3 weeks closer to having to deal with that shit again too! Cheers!

  • Ellie December 11, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Mama, do what you’ve gotta do. I had to stop breast feeding due to vaso spasms and I’m a card carrying La Leche league mama. We’re using 100% donor milk and it saved us and me from awfulness I like to call mama guilt. I found donors through Human Milk 4 Human Babies… And Eats on Feets. I know there is an org for each state. I’ve also seen dairy free moms donate. My chiro suggested that if we ever need to use formula, use the Westin Price/dr. Mercola recipe and mix it with breast milk if you can. Or if we’re gonna use a canned formula, mix it with breast milk so it goes down a bit easier. I’m not sure if this is appealing to you but I was headed down a pretty dark path because I didn’t have te birth I wanted and breast feeding was a train wreck. And then my hubs was afraid to leave me alone (hell, everyone was). Stopping bfing was the hardest and best thing I’ve done for myself andy child. It hurt to pick her up so I was starting to not want to go near her. NO BUENO. Hugs, mama, and whatever you and B decide will be perfect because you’re making decisions together for and with your family. Hugs, we care about you.

  • Nicole December 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    Do you babywear? It keeps the baby upright, which aids digestion, and allows you to be hands-free for G while preventing the cryren from Ruby. Plus, it’s a very hippy thing to do. :)

  • Terra December 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    My baby boy was like that too. I took all kinds of stuff out of my diet, but nothing worked. I tries everything….and what worked for him? Something called Hyland’s colic tabs. You can buy them at whole foods, sometimes Target, and babies r us. Do what’s best for you and your children, but seriously, TRY the colic tabs.

  • Katie E. December 11, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    Ok cher, let me tell you, by the time that baby is in kindergarden no one will care if she breastfed or not. As for breastfeeding making kids super smarter than kids who get formula, all I can say is that those people should have tried to breed up in the world. Formula is not the devil, especially if you have a baby with super allergies. My baby M, had whey, casein, and soy allergies. And it was okay to give him formula, because I had too much on my hands to angst over bottle over breast. Good luck with the two of them, it’s only this hard for a little while.

  • Jenna December 11, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Dude, I’m a Lactation Educator and I’m almost at my breaking point with my daughter. I already have Celiac Disease so gluten is out. Now she has a wicked milk-protein allergy (and I mean had bloody diarrhea and just horrible shit going on–no pun intended) so no gluten or milk. I’ve lost 15 lb (which I secretly kind of like), but I’m SO unhealthy. I’m miserable. I even tried giving her a hypoallergenic formula-won’t TOUCH it. So I don’t even have the OPTION to FF her if I wanted. But I know exactly how you feel and it sucks sooo bad. It is causing major mood swings for me because I’m like hardly eating anything. Send me any secrets and some magic fairy dust.

  • Meg December 11, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Big props for sacrificing cheese, but bigger props for committing to self-care. I hope to follow in your foot steps. With #1 I pumped exclusively for 8 months due to a difficult tongue tie (I have pump sound PTSD) and with #2 due to arrive when #1 is 19 months, I am considering a “never again” tattoo so I don’t give up any semblance of a life to the postpartum hormones that convinced me that somehow formula was essentially battery acid. Baby gurrrl loved her generic formula and contrary to my overwhelming anxiety, is a happy little genius. Well, maybe not a genius, but she is only slightly delayed. Kidding. Take care of yo’self so you can take care of yo’babies. Godspeed.

  • Ellie December 11, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Also agree about the probiotics! Every day A gets some
    In her milk ( or on my finger) along with Vitamin D. She is regular and the poohnami’s are less. And we keep taking her to the chiro on a regular basis so she’s pretty healthy. I know, I know…weirdo hippie people BUT seriously, when we keep A adjusted, she doesn’t spit up. AT ALL. NONE. And poops like a dream. Hugs, mama. Oh! Also look up hazel wood/amber necklaces. A freaked out for three days straight until I put one on her. Hasn’t happened since and this was 5 months ago. Hippie out!

  • Tracy December 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    First, big big congrats on surviving thus far with the newborn/2yo combo. Awesome that you’ve had help, but we all know those small people only want mommy 99.999% of the time, so once you’re alone with them, it really won’t be terribly different. Just be a hippie sling mama so you’ll have hands free to catch G before he head butts a moving vehicle. You really will be okay.

    Second, dairy free… I was dairy- and soy-free with baby #2 for I don’t know how long. I feel you. Wheat would have put me over the edge and sent me to buy formula b/c between being able to eat nothing anywhere ever and not having peed alone for five years now, I am seriously tapped out in the personal sacrifice. So do what you need to be healthy and happy. Incidentally baby #1 was a preemie and I pumped for months for him, and I don’t think I could ever do that again either. There is stuff you can do for your first baby that you can’t do for the others, and that is okay because the littler ones have the big brother to add piles of awesome to their lives, which makes it ok for mommy to do a tiny bit less.

    Dairy-free tips:
    -coconut milk based creamer for coffee if you don’t mind a little sweetness (also if you ever see the coconut milk mango ice cream… Eat it all.)
    – enjoy life brand chocolate chips and spectrum brand vegetable shortening (both at whole foods) will save your sanity when you need to bake some cookies.
    – shop a lot at whole foods… They really do have good options for the food allergy set
    – they say it only takes 3weeks to change your tastes and I think it is true, so give it a few weeks. I was a serious milk/cheese/ice cream addict, and eventually I didn’t miss it anymore.
    – trying to think of other tips but my brain is fried, so if you are looking for a substitution for something specific, just ask.

    And finally, I am seeing the word amazeballs popping up elsewhere, and for a long time I have seen it only on your blog, so I credit you with inventing the word and think you should take its popularity as a sign of your Internet importance.

    Good luck!

  • katie December 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    although i’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile now, i feel like i don’t know EVERYTHING you’ve been through. but i think it’s safe for me to say i get it! i haven’t been through exactly what you’ve been through, but eh it’s close enough 😉 my 5 year old son has severe food allergies and when he was 2 1/2 and i had my daughter i FREAKED out that she was getting allergies too (cus i was breastfeeding and she was having the same symptoms my son got, mostly exzema. she was 3 weeks old btw.) i flipped out on their pediatrician and my son’s allergist, and am still thankful for how awesome they handled me! they told me to calm the f down and to not worry… yeah that didn’t work so great. but i adapted my diet to my son’s diet (no milk, egg, red meat, or nuts. well nuts were easy cus we already didn’t keep them in our house. but that no milk shit is hard.) i successfully breastfed my daughter for almost a year (i gave up around 11 months cus i wanted my boobs back! ha! and then i got a boob job shortly after that!) my son’s allergist agreed to test my daughter when she turned 1 and since we didn’t have any more problems between the exzema showing up and her turning 1 i agreed to wait it out (freaking out on my hubby in the mean time.) hey! guess what? she has no allergies!!! :) she is now 2 1/2 and is just starting to understand about her brother’s allergies and how to help keep him safe. either i was crazy and she never had allergies or i helped prevent them from getting horrible (so her body was able to over come them) by changing my diet and continuing to breastfeed… i prefer the later 😉
    whatever path you go down, good luck to you. you got this!

  • Rachel December 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    First of all please don’t worry about being judged, I am so over mommy wars. I think moms feel the need to judge because they feel bad about their own flaws.
    Second I did dairy free for my baby and the things that got me through:
    – silk almond milk for coffee / cereal ( in the refrigerated section, much better taste than the box versions)
    – earth balance margarine for cooking and spreading
    – so delicious coconut icecream
    – pure dark chocolate
    – whole soy company yogurt

  • Kate December 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I remember reading all your posts about your diet when you were breastfeeding G, and when I had my first baby in October, I told myself I wouldn’t be able to do that if she had digestion issues like G did. I didn’t know how you did it. Breastfeeding is hard enough without having to worry about your diet. Regardless, even if you switch to formula, the fact that you breastfed at all is going to have huge benefits for Ruby, and having a happy, well-fed mommy will too.

  • Sabrina December 11, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Chica, you can do this. I very unfortunately am allergic to gluten and dairy and have been off both for 5 years. I know it is very overwhelming but it is sometimes helpful to try and think about stuff that you like that is already free of dairy/gluten what have you. Things like meat, potatoes, fruit, eggs, rice. has really delicious recipes that are both gluten and dairy free. Hugs to you no matter which way you end up going :)

  • Laura C December 11, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Modg, people look at me like I’m a crazy for saying that I might not breastfeed a second child. My kid didn’t latch for two. weeks. And then she was way skinny, like, I always wanted her to just drink this damn formula bottle so I can stop shrugging off strangers who say she’s skinny. Complete bottle refusal (like G) meant I was shackled to her 24/7, for 14 months. Not good for momma. You can’t take care of those babies if you aren’t taking care of you. Word to the formula. (and to eating peanut butter from the jar.)

  • Kim December 11, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    Everything you write lately, I feel like I’ve lived just a tad earlier, I had my second son on October 15th and I’m going through all of this shitty newborn stuff right along with you. My firstborn wasn’t a gassy one, but this one is and I was thrown for a loop, totally new territory. I came thisclose to making him a doctors appointment and starting to cut foods out of my diet but a friend recommended this:
    He’s a different kid. I’m amazed. I don’t understand it, I just know he’s happy,I’m happy (which is excellent – I had PPD the first time around) and life is going on. Give it a shot, can’t hurt anything!

  • Christina December 11, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    I’ve only got one, but I just wanted to say allergy specific formula is a miracle. A damn expensive one, but still a miracle. Long story short, my son is dairy and soy intolerant to the tune of screaming 22 hours a day. The elimination diet killed what minuscule supply I had at the time, so I was forced to supplement which led to full on formula feeding. Thousands of unexpected dollars later, I’ve got a happy 17 month old who drinks almond milk and eats coconut milk yogurt and I’ve made 90% peace with my body’s momentary failure to produce what my child could take. But I can say from experience, my downward spiral due to the sheer frustration and confusion of being a mom of a needy infant was truly alleviated somewhat by my decision to FF. my husband pushed for it, I fought it, but ultimately my child’s needs won out and in turn I got unexpected relief. Would I try to BF #2 even with the potential for food allergies? Yep. Will I FF if necessary (ie the process of trying to BF becomes overwhelming)? Hell yes!
    I’m honestly happy to hear you are considering allergy specific formula? Why? Because I believe that means you have some clarity and experience leading you through these few months and that gives me hope, and you too I imagine, that you are in a good (at least better?) place mentally this time around? Knowledge and experience can be your best defense.

  • Rebecca December 11, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Hang in there Modg, but totally understand whatever decision you make.

  • B lady December 11, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    I’m glad Operation WANA is going to run again this year. Someone, even though we didn’t have a really terrible situation, decided to do a little something for us. We were touched and so grateful, but then I felt like a huge ass. My email server went down and I lost her contact info. When we received the package, I tore off the address portion and stuck it to the fridge so I could send a thank you card…only to find that the actual child or man child had thrown it away.

    So here I was, the recipient of a stranger’s generosity and I couldn’t send an adequate thank you. Luckily, we moved into a new house 2 weeks ago. In the final cleaning stage before leaving our old house, I found that scrap of address under the fridge! I tucked it into papers for the move. Only now I find that my husband has struck again and never labeled half the boxes. I have 6 of them unmarked in my garage with hodge podges of stuff to sort through. My mission: find that address before New Years and send the most awesome thank you to that kind woman. Hopefully she can understand the stupid situation that caused such a delay in my show of gratitude. Seriously feel like a huge ass, though.

  • Alexandra December 11, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    I agree. To be a good mom, you have to take care of yourself. I hope everything works out :)

    I actually wanted to comment because I wanted to ask you — where did you get G’s t-shirt that he is wearing in that first photo?? I love it! And I’m always trying to find cute solid colored shirts for my 19 month old.

    • Christa December 12, 2012 at 9:39 pm

      When I searched this summer H&M was the only place that had T’s in solid colors. And they were organic and 2 for $10!

  • Julia December 11, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    My son was colicky for nearly three months and the gas was killer. I too gave up dairy and soy (p.s. I like original flavored flax milk from whole foods best of all the non dairy alternatives!) I also took my son to the Chiro for cranio sacral therapy which I swear did wonders, gave bio gaia probiotic drops, did belly massage on him, and really everything under the sun to stop him from screaming. I’ve learned since of a product from nosefreida called the windi which gets rave reviews for gas relief. Wish I’d known about it in the height of his colic days, but perhaps it will help Ruby! Fingers crossed for you!

  • Carly December 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    Oh honey, I know your pain all too well. Not only did my son react to dairy & soy… but pregnancy/birth triggered lots of autoimmune problems for me, so I have permanently cut out: gluten, dairy, corn, soy and a whole other list of random shit. It is effin hard to change your diet. There are things to make it easier. Daiya makes a good cheese-ish substance. I definitely wouldn’t eat it raw with crackers or anything, but you can cook it on a pizza and it closely resembles cheese. Earth Balance makes a soy/dairy free “butter” that acts as close to real butter as you can get. Coconut oil is also really good for cooking. I use coconut milk 1:1 for regular milk in a recipe. Almond milk tastes the best to drink. Even when I cut out all that stuff, my son was still a farter. Big, man farts. Let’s just hope that sweet girl is just a farter! Good luck with it, I know how frustrating it can be – especially with all those pregnancy hormones raging through your body right now. I’m a big fan of breastfeeding and I struggled (painfully HARD with a flat nipple) for 10 months until my milk completely dried up (and I tried all the hippie herbs too). But I’m a firm believer that you gotta do what you gotta do. If I had to do it over, I would switch my baby to formula. I was so much happier when my milk dried up and we switched him to goats milk. I taught Baby Yoga for a long time, and spoke to many new moms on a weekly basis. I think we moms beat ourselves up so often over thinking we aren’t perfect. Just give it a go, and if it doesn’t work out to BF, then switch! I know plenty of wicked smart kids that were formula fed. XO to you.

  • G December 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    I also have 2 kids 2 years apart (now 27 and 3 months)…hang in there it will get better. My first was colicky and my second was gassy but not full blown colicky like the first. Both got much better after 2-3 months though. I agree with the suggestion for probiotics…we use udos infant brand and I think that is what helped the most with both. Also, a few things that sometimes helped but not always were camomile tea (at the suggestion of our pediatrician), colic calm, and a home made gripe water made with crushed fennel seed camomile tea. Also lots of bicycling the legs throughout the day. I didn’t try chiropractor cause my hubs wasn’t comfortable with it but a friend of mine who had a really colicky baby said an adjustment helped almost instantly so maybe worth a shot?
    We’re also dairy free…almond milk, coconut milk ice cream and if you’re gonna try any cheese substitute daiya is the way to go. Tofutti cream cheese isn’t bad and whole soy (i think) makes a decent soy yogurt. also, trader joes cherry chocolate chip soy ice cream and dark chocolate sea salt almonds are both dairy free and amazing.

  • vicki December 11, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    i feel ya sister. we had some serious reflux issues over here for the first 2.5 months and then, poof, it went away. we still give him formula when we’re out or when i’m away from home because honestly, i hate pumping. i just can’t schedule it so it never happens. i’d rather sleep or like, eat. and guess what, i was never breastfed and i’m still alive! 😉 do what’s best for your family and don’t think anything of it! xo

  • Jessica December 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Aw man!! That is some rough stuff!! Your boobies are doing ok though right? No mastitis, cracking or anything? Sometimes if moms have a little yeast or infection going on it makes babies super cranksalot. I didn’t breast feed my baby because we had a pretty strong family history of PPD and I was prepared for it, ended up having it so I went on medication. I felt like a total loser/bad mommy, but you know what?! That looney is 2 1/2 yr old terrorist bundle of love! So put yourself first, so you can take care of the second string!! It’s just like they tell you on airplanes, you put your oxygen mask on first THEN your kid/spouse/grandma. I also found warm baths with like 2 or 3 baby washclothes were helpful with the gassies-like you take a warm one and spread it over her tummy, and then as that cools switch out, etc. It really worked for my little girl!

    You can do it!! You’re already kicking ass because you are accepting your limits!!

  • Sarah December 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Mostly all I want to say is…YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN SO DO THIS. You are doing this :)

  • Susan December 11, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    It looks like you have lots of good advice. My “take away” is that women shouldn’t judge women. You said it better…..but that is so important. Women are so hard on each other….never knowing all the story. I nursed my first daughter 15 months, my second about 6 months….Both turned out aok….so dump any guilt trip and do the best for your situation.

    Susan from GA

  • DoMo December 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    You are the momma and you know what is best for your kids & your sanity. One advantage you have over the first baby is that even though it may be a long road, it is temporary. You will come out the other side and we will be your cheering section. Xoxo

  • Monica December 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Congratulations, Ruby is beautiful! I don’t comment often but this post hit close to home for me.

    Having a child of my own taught not to judge others. I was a nanny for 7 years and thought I just knew everything about raising a child… boy was I wrong! There were so many things that I said I would/wouldn’t do that turned out the total opposite way. lol. My son was a preemie and my milk BARELY came in. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like I had to explain why I was giving him formula…like it was some awful thing to do. I spent the first 2 months of his life going back and forth to the NICU while trying to take care of myself( that was at the bottom of my list) and establish my milk supply. I can’t even put into words how devastating those 2 months were. We missed out on so much of the normal “firsts” and bonding opportunities. I tried everything to get my milk to come in and was going insane and exhausting myself while doing it. I had to make the decision to stop. It was more important for my focus to be on bonding with my son and enjoying him when he came home then to be worrying about my barely there milk supply. That was the best decision for our family and I don’t regret it one bit. My son just turned one and is completely healthy. You would never know he was a preemie =)

  • Arimomma December 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    A few thoughts. Breastfeeding didn’t work for us. My baby went to the hospital with dehydration because I didn’t want to “give up” and give formula. That will not be something I do again. Second, when breastfeeding didn’t work, I exclusively pumped. But I’m a slow pumper and I calculated that in her first 5 weeks, I spent a full 24/7 WEEK pumping, away from her and miserable, which still makes me cry. Also, something in my milk was making her constantly sick, so even though I cut out basically everything, she was not happy and healthy until we switched to elemental formula at 5 months. Since then, she’s been in perfect health through two flu seasons. My husband and his triplet sisters were exclusively formula fed and are the smartest, healthiest, most allergy-free and normal people I know, especially compared to me, despite my being breastfed until age two. In fact, to make me feel better about formula, my husband also did all this research on the actual medical studies around breastfeeding, and despite what everyone says, I dare you to find a reputable first-world study, that takes into consideration other factors or sample bias, that proves breast milk is better. All this said, I am going to try my damnedest to breastfeed #2 on the way, but I will NOT make baby #1, baby #2 and myself miserable if it doesn’t work out.

    • Sara December 12, 2012 at 3:16 am

      YES, YES YES! I was trying to leave a comment but I had surgery today and nothing is coming out correctly but this comment 97% what I wanted to say…my sitch isn’t exactly the same but really close…my son nearly starved till bottle fed Bc my milk just didn’t come in and I had PPD and life was just really hard the first few months with him. My 2nd baby was a c section…I agree its awful but it was necessary, I felt like I was being gutted like a fish…despite not seeing him only hearing his sweet baby cry as he rushed to NICU, I fell in instant sparkly euphoric love with him. I don’t know why it was different…I was so excited for the first baby and so afraid of the second, if logic dictated these things it would’ve went opposite…..both my boys were bottle fed. Both had reflux and it took forever to find the right formula for baby 2 and it was the most expensive one on the market because he has a milk protein allergy. Her comments about the studies are correct and the real life observations about bottle fed babies ring true as well….my boys are healthy well adjusted lil dudes who are happy because their mom is happy. Babies can smell fear. Of that I am convinced…so do what you need to do to be ok, and everyone else will therefore be ok too….And for all the judgy moms out there, shush your face…seriously. We all do the best we can, we should build each other up and all that peace and love stuff you suppossedly stand for instead of judging someone who’s life you know nothing about. Amanda, THANK YOU for saying this, in a nicer way, I was in tears reading it…glad you realized it for yourself but also that you may have opened some people’s eyes to the fact that the breast isn’t always best, and we don’t have the right nor should we see the need to judge others.

  • Adriane December 11, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Omg those first couple of months – I swore I was the first person to have had twins. For real. It was so much harder than I thought and I wanted to die! Ended up one had colic and one had reflux. Super fun. The colicky baby was put on alimentum formula and my reflux baby took 14 mos to outgrow it. Life sucked. But now they’re four and I’m impressed with myself for making it. You do what you have to. I would be on the phone with my mom and she would talk me off the ledge and boil it down for me – All you have to do is make sure they are clean, fed and safe. I know it sounds dumb, but that really helped me. For now, pat yourself on the back for surviving each day and having two kids that are fed, clean and safe. You will get through it! And you will think to yourself, I freaking rock!!!! You can do it!!!!

    • Stacy December 12, 2012 at 6:40 am

      I have a 2 yr old and my twins are 5 weeks and I think one is colicky/has reflux. It was too much to breastfeed them and I feel guilty about it but I need time for my 2 yr old daughter. I feel terrible because all I do is hold the fussy one and put her sister in the swing because she is an angel baby. We have switched to formula for spit up and she did great but got constipated and now just cries from gas and pain. She only slept twice yesterday…..once for 30 min and then finally for almost 2 hours at 4. At least she has been sleeping at night but its only because she is exhausted.

      Modg G should get better soon. I find my daughter has gotten better each week and she is an energetic maniac who does not sit still either. But as a SAHM I know the days are long. My daughter is in preschool 2 days a week…..that helps. She loves it. Maybe G could do a moms morning out?? It’s worth the money in our house.

  • colleen December 11, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    all i can say is – thank you. thank you for realizing that doing the best for your family can sometimes mean compromising what you thought you were going to do and that’s ok – and putting it on your site. i read so many entries about women killing themselves to do this or that for their family when forgetting that taking care of themselves is also good for their family too. so way to go modg. i sincerely hope you are able to breastfeed as long as you want to, but i’m relieved that you are doing what’s best for your family no matter what.

  • Bethany December 11, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    PREACH!!! Motherhood has been nothing if not a humbling experience for me!!! I AM SO RIGHT THERE with you on the c-sections and breastfeeding. I pray everyday I can have a VBAC next time, and I’m sure I’ll be devastated if I can’t. As for breastfeeding, it was HELL on earth and I will not slice my wrists next time if history repeats itself. Thank God for formula. It saved me. It’s gross, expensive and inconvenient but we ALL survived and I have a happy healthy boy and got to shower and stop crying. The best thing someone said to me since it all: “You don’t know what you don’t know”. If you haven’t been there, don’t judge. THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!!!!!

  • Laura December 11, 2012 at 11:27 pm

    Ok, I had 5 kids in 5 years (last 2 are twins)…so I understand the crazy you’re going through with a toddler and newborn. The first 6 months are just draining and overwhelming and then I start to feel more refreshed…took like 10 months to get there with my twins. I noticed that all of them were really really gassy (like horribly smelly) for the first 1 or 2 months depending on the kid. I didn’t do much to change my diet but they all improved so much by the 2 month mark. I could be wrong, and maybe I should have done more, but it seems like their systems might just take a little while adjusting to the breastmilk (or formula…my first refused to nurse even after seeing 2 lactation consultants). Even their nervous systems take a while to become normal, which is why swaddling is so helpful. I remember freaking out when my first’s hand suddenly turned blue so I called the paramedics to help. It was just her circulation regulating itself. No big deal. Anyway, my opinion is that you should definitely eat things that could be problematic in moderation, but don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m interested in all these people saying probiotics help though. Never heard of that. I feel for you with the C-section recovery. Had one with my twins and it was rough! I remember the burning pain and basically screaming into my husband’s shoulder as he helped me put the belly support thing on…probably the worst pain I felt out of all of the pregnancies, deliveries, and recoveries. Ding ding ding, 10 on the pain scale. I hope you are starting to feel a lot better, you will feel great pretty soon.

  • Shannon December 11, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    You have gotten such fabulous responses already but I wanted to agree with the ones who said ABSOLUTELY on the probiotics!! Definitely need to rebalance that flora after the c-section. Actually, you should both be taking it!
    And, have you tried block feeding?? If it’s overproduction, you might see HUGE benefits from feeding only on one side for 3 or 4 feeds (or longer even) and not switching sides. She’ll continue to get mainly hind milk this way, and not so much of it. You can do a few hours on one side, and then switch to the other for the next few hours (look up “block feeding” on if my explanation sucks!). It may be as simple a fix as that.
    I hope that you figure it out, only because I do really think that breastfeeding is simpler, especially if you figure out how to do it while babywearing (allows you to chase after said toddler, even if baby #2 is indeed a 22 hour feeding maching) but it’s obvious how much thought and care you put into your decisions, so major hugs to you for having to deal with this for a second time.
    (I also had to go dairy, gluten, etc, etc. free the 1st time..we’ll see what happens this time around)

  • Marissa December 11, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    I am a die-hard breastfeeding fan but I had latch difficulties with my first bubba so expressed full time instead, for 11 months. I was terrified of the same thing happening with #2 and knew no way, no how, would I be able to do that again, physically or emotionally, so I totally get where you are coming from!
    I too am just beginning to embark on dairy free and I don’t like soy products, I tried almond milk but it curdles in coffee (ew!), so now I make my own coconut milk and cream. It is the bomb! Delicious and curd free in coffee, great for baking (plus you get coconut flour as a by-product which is awesome in cakes) and super cheap to make.

  • kiera December 11, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    i had one chill baby, then 16 months later colic colic colicky baby. that. was. tough. 20 months after that, another colicky baby. then a happy baby 2 years later. I’ve found the solution that has worked best for me is doing the paleo diet. you can find great and manageable recipes at blogs like when i do paleo farting isnt even an option. so weird. give it a whirl, i’ll bet you’ll be surprised. It’s essentially no dairy, no beans, no processed carbs and sugar. seems intimidating, but it’s surprisingly easy when you do just a little research. good luck, i’ve been there.

    • kiera December 12, 2012 at 12:01 am

      ps when you said that you were making lara bars a few posts ago, i was sure that you were doing paleo. lara bars= paleo= score.

  • Staci December 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    My second baby has a milk protein issue these two things are life savers. I have been dairy free for six months and oreos and mayo are my favorite things.

    Like others said to reduce foremilk intacke i popped my son off and used this for the over active letdown spray. Crazy but very helpful!

    For help with tummy issues while sleeping the fisher price rock and play sleeper was amazing. It is approved for night sleep and really saved us since my son would only sleep on his tummy otherwise.

    Good luck!

  • Stacey December 11, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    So have been lactose intolerant for 18 years now. Not sure if it is a dairy issue or a lactose issue for you. I get around cheese by eating goat cheese and sheep cheese, which doesn’t bother my tummy bc they don’t have lactose. Also soy ice cream is good. Especially when you look at the caloric intake aka you could have the whole carton for the same as one serving of Ben and Jerrys. Trader Joes has soy yogurt. Pretty good. Also cheapest soy ice cream is there. The weirdest part for me. Was I could do dairy while I was preggers. It was so much fun. Who knew sour cream was so good?

  • Natalie December 11, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Have you considered the possibility that Ruby has (and G had) reflux? I had a lot of the same problems when my son was an infant (non-stop nursing, terrible gas, screaming if I ever put him down). I didn’t think the problems were related, but our pediatrician connected the dots. He thought that the terrible gas was because the baby was nursing excessively which was upsetting his stomach, and that the baby was nursing excessively because he was having painful reflux and drinking milk constantly soothed his esophagus, and that he would scream if I tried to put him down because he was constantly in pain. I was skeptical, but desperate. I put him on medication (reluctantly) and made some changes to how I nursed him (keeping him as upright as possible during feedings, trying to prevent him from “over-nursing” when possible, burping him as often as possible throughout feedings, keeping him upright for at least 30 minutes after meals, no side-lying nursing). Sure enough, the gas went away and he wasn’t quite as fussy when I put him down.

    Of course, it’s possible that my diet was the underlying cause of the reflux and that if I had been more disciplined like you I could have treated it without medication. But we all do the best we can, right? It’s such a good thing that you’re making your well-being a priority. Whatever you decide in terms of nursing, Ruby will benefit from having a healthy mom!

  • Ashley December 11, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    First of all, how cute are your babies together! Second, don’t feel bad or blame yourself at all for whatever feeding decisions you may need to make. You’re absolutely right that you need to take care of yourself, easier said than done though.

    I know it’s crazy the first little bit with two little ones but you’ll find your new normal and settle into a routine soon. If not, well hopefully that train table will keep G occupied!

  • Dena December 11, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    Go Paleo. It’s changed my life.

  • Cara December 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Have you tried goat’s milk? We just switched our little one to goat’s milk after some major issues with cow’s milk and some not so major (or so we thought) issues with the formula she’s been on for most of her life. She has been on a cow’s milk based formula pretty much since birth (supplementing breast milk for the first six months) and didn’t seem to have tons of issues. She has always been gassy, but it seemed like gas drops helped some and, all babies are gassy, right? She has eczema, but so do I, and the doctor didn’t seem to be concerned. She has been waking up multiple times a night since birth, usually with gas, but again, we figured babies are gassy. After having some adverse reactions when we switched to cow’s milk, we switched back to formula. My mother in law suggested goat’s milk. We tried it. She has been sleeping through the night ever since. Every night. The baby who had only slept through the night about ten times in 13 months. Miracle. No more night time gas. Way better and normal poops, all the time. Seriously, it has made an unbelievable difference. I know my situation is different from what you are going through, but you might think about giving goat’s milk a try for yourself. It might make a difference for Ruby. And then you could still have dairy, just goat’s dairy.

  • Kristen December 12, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Have you tried baby probiotics? I haven’t been following for long, so you may already have known and tried this–c-section babies don’t get the opportunity to colonize their guts with all your vag bacteria for obvious reasons and as a result have a harder time with food allergies, reflux, etc. There are some super magic $$$ baby biotics on the web, or you can swing by whole foods and get one. Just dip your nip in the baby biotic powder before each nursing section.

  • Kristen December 12, 2012 at 12:08 am

    Whoops–should have read the comments first.

    What ^she (and she and she ) said re: probiotics. GL!

  • Leyna December 12, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Have you tried taking Lactaid and Beano before your meals? I went through it all–ate chicken and rice and sautéed spinach for every damn meal, but I found taking those two things seemed to cut down on the screaming and colic more than the diet changes alone did. Good luck, mama. Hang in there and don’t succumb to mom guilt, whatever you do.

  • Katrina December 12, 2012 at 12:22 am

    My formula boy just finished his first school concer with much succes! My sister who stressed breast feeding so much that she got a stress bomb of a mommy and baby. The anxiety, depression, and poor self care that comes in this kind of situation can affect the kid worse than the difference between the two. I got to be a better mommy because I was not so pressured. Added bonus, bottles can be prepped in advance and given by any person able to manage one! We kept two ready to go at all times and our night feeding time was much shorter, especially with each parent taking only half the night!

  • melissa n December 12, 2012 at 12:23 am

    onion water saved us with our son, seriously. i think its a southern thing. but everyone does it to help relieve gas, and it helps the, sleep. just get a regular yellow onion (not white, that shits nasty to begin with), chop it up, put in some water, bring to a boil for a bit – itll get a green tinge to it, we use use a medicine cup to dip in and check – and thats it. i ended up having to breast feed, so id let it cool (obviously) then put about a half or more of a medicine cup worth of it in his medicine bottle, and feed it to hm. id do this a few days in a row, and hedgRt like crazy. dont freak, they get drowsy afterdeinking it since its a sweet yellow onion, it makes them drowsy. if you BF, you can give it to her in small doses, wont taste good, but shell fart, lol. hope it gets better!

  • Kaili December 12, 2012 at 12:32 am

    Dairy free trick:
    Cocoa Meringue Kisses:
    4 egg whites
    1 cup sugar
    1tsp vanilla
    1/2 tsp cream of tartar
    1 tbsp cocoa powder

    whip those egg whites in your kitchen aid or whatever mixer you have. add cream of tartar after eggs are foamy. add 1 tbsp sugar at a time until glossy and firm peaks are forming. add vanilla while mixing. then turn off that mixer and add cocoa by folding in with a spatula. use a piping bag and make “hershey kiss” sized cookies on a piece of parchment paper on top of a baking sheet. bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes and then let cool in the oven after you turn it off. they’re ready when they come off the paper. they taste like hot chocolate crunchy clouds.

  • Amber December 12, 2012 at 12:40 am

    Dude, well, dudette, I’m a mom of 3 and both of my youngest were born when the others were 2 (#2 born when #1 was 2, and #3 born when #2 was 2) it was so much easier with 3, let me tell you!!! I tried for 6 weeks to get #2 to take to nursing but she simply would not! so it was pump and feed over and over so i switched to formula and that was a life saver to me because I could have someone else feed her while my first got attention. I would pump and hold her and read books to her and stuff like that and let her “help” with baby sister! and that helped… i think its an anxiety thing where they dont get 100% of your attention anymore and its hard to adjust, but hang in there because i PROMISE it gets better (especially coming from a mom whose second child had colic for 6 hrs a night every night for 6 months and had hip displasia) you have to fall into a routine and let him help as much as he can so he still gets lots of mommy time and that helps with the fits! I dont know what to tell you about the dairy thing, and if you are talking about baby farts, girl, they just happen! some are more gassy than others but be thankful its coming out instead of cramping her stomach! but you can try gas drops

    • Amber December 12, 2012 at 12:41 am

      i meant let HIM help you with her!

  • Sara from No Purple Walls December 12, 2012 at 12:44 am

    Ghirardelli semi sweet chocolate chips are dairy free! So is Papa John’s pizza crust. If you can do without the cheese, you can eat pizza. I basically just find junkfood ways to be able to eat with my mom (dairy allergy) and best friend (vegan). Also, peta has a webpage with all the regular foods that are also vegan, so you can find tons of stuff that you didn’t know was dairy-free that way.

    All that being said, good for you for being able to address your needs. My cousin was breastfed, and she has a million food allergies and is also an idiot. So I have decided that the jury is still out on breastfed babies being healthier and smarter. As for the bonding, I made it 10 weeks with my son, and it was complete hell because my milk supply was crap and I had to tape tubes to my boobs to feed him enough, plus he was nursing around the clock, and a bunch of other rollercoaster crap. When he rejected all the nonsense and I decided it was time to quit, I felt like I was finally getting to bond with my son while he ate because we were both enjoying the bottle. He hated my slow flow at the breast, and I hated being screamed at and the boob tubes. Feeding became pleasant and enjoyable and everyone is happy now.

    Good luck with whichever way your breastfeeding path takes you!

  • Brandie December 12, 2012 at 12:45 am

    Breastfeeding was so important to me. Important like I spent a million dollars on lactation consultants, tinctures, teas, you name it. It just didn’t work out. I was exhausted. Started to dread spending that time with my baby because he was always still hungry after. So when I had my second and last little boy and it all started happening the same way….I said no way. I tried and I mean hard. Domperidone for my supply, hospital grade pump, consultants. Same ball game and then I said no. I am a better mom for it. Two people need me now and I can’t survive what I went through the first time. So, my hats off to you for knowing what’s best for your family and sanity. Bravo.

  • Here's To A Boring Year December 12, 2012 at 12:50 am

    I’m a hardcore breast feeder too – but in your position I would probably switch to formula too. I have no idea what you ate during those 6 months with G but I am certain that I couldn’t have done it. You are way more hardcore than I am!

    I know that breast milk is great for babies. But even better is a happy mama. Take care of yourself and never apologize for it… Even if that means formula. Your choices are nobody’s BH business but yours.

    I hope things get better soon!

  • Stacey December 12, 2012 at 12:59 am

    No judgment here- ever. My son just turned two on Monday and I’m 6 months pregnant with our second- I’m already bracing myself for guerrilla warfare. I am also a huge proponent of crunchy hippie things and breastfed my son for 15 months, so I totally get wanting to be *that* kind of mom and the guilt that can come with not living up to your own expectations. But you know what? You are so so right. You can’t treat yourself poorly just to live up to a certain standard for your baby- that’s not healthy for anybody in the family. The end doesn’t always justify the means. My son’s personality has also flipped like a switch overnight- I will totally admit that I am watching you as my guinea pig to see how you do it with the 2 year old and the newborn…please don’t ever stop posting your honest thoughts! Your kids are going to be healthy and will thrive because you are really invested in their needs and you are a loving and attentive mom- not because of what they do or do not drink.
    Also, I agree with the recommendation to try probiotics- I used BioGaia drops when he didn’t have bottles, and powdered probiotics mixed in with milk when he did take bottles. I think they really help. Also infant massage can really help with stomach problems and self-regulation- maybe some of your lovely hippie friends know it and can teach you if you don’t know it already. Or you can google some videos too- in all your abundant free time. Good luck! Be kind to yourself- your kids need a healthy, happy mom!

  • MarissaW December 12, 2012 at 1:14 am

    Just a suggestion, but have you ever heard of overactive letdown? My little guy had the same issues, man farts, crying fussing A LOT when eating. Turns our I have over achieving boobs with a forceful letdown and HUGE supply. Does your letdown physically hurt and does the side she isn’t nursing on pour milk when it happens? Does tour milk spray out vs drip? All signs of forceful letdown and large supply. We went to block feeding, one side for four hours of nursing, and the change was amazing, still a little gassy and fussy, but NOTHING like it was. Typically you have a large enough supply for this if your letdown is forceful like mine and this helps to regulate supply and curb letdown. Now he’s three months old and let’s the letdown spray him in the face when it happens instead of screaming bloody murder. Now if he could just understand that a bottle isn’t the equivalent of me waterboarding him…but seriously, I’m really glad that I kept up with the nursing and spoke with lactation consultants and LLL members about it so we could continue BF vs formula. Good luck!

    • MarissaW December 12, 2012 at 1:21 am

      Obv, she’s going to be just as healthy on formula and your health/sanity is extremely important, just wanted to give you a diff option/suggestion before you try any dairy or other elimination. Girl needs her cheese :)

  • Lluvia December 12, 2012 at 1:57 am

    Do what is best for you and your family! I breastfed the first 2 months. I stopped because I was miserable, and so was my daughter. She actually lost weight! So, I did not think twice about doing formula, as much as I wanted breastfeeding. She’s 3, now, and very healthy, and talking back, and shit!

    Don’t put yourself through something that will make you miserable. You need to feel good in order to be a good mom.

    Ruby is gorgeous. Happy birthday to G!

  • marsha December 12, 2012 at 2:36 am

    Yes yes and yes! You totally get it. My laid back personality fortunately made me less neurotic with my first (who is now 11 mo) than are many first time moms and from the get go I let things come and go as they would. 37 week induction due to pre-e that ended in (surprise) a c meant my milk didn’t roll in till 5 days later. Was I really going to let my baby starve b/c I was dead set on bf’ing? Um no. Formula he got but also because of a NICU stay we were able to tap into donor milk. Baby has got to eat! At 2 weeks when he wasn’t gaining weight did I stress myself more about my milk production? No! Already I was glued to the couch with the boy on my boob – how could i possibly have the time to ALWAYS pump after a feeding. I did not have the energy for that. I did not want to be hooked up to a machine when I could be spending the time otherwise – sleeping for example! Point is, we have hopes, expectations, but there are realities and we do the best we can do. You are in an excellent frame of mind – whatever you are doing, is the best you can do. It’s like when I run a race and realize 3rd place (in my age group – I’m not that fast!) was only a minute within my grasp and I think gah, I could have run faster. But after beating myself up, I tell myself, you know what? No. I couldn’t have run faster because I didn’t run faster. I ran the race that I ran. And motherhood and the decisions we take are just that – the best that we can do.

  • Theresa December 12, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Dairy free products that are decent:

    Daiya cheese – it melts, and is stringy and delicious
    Teese cheese – also melts and makes a solid pizza cheese. do not eat it raw. you will barf
    Cuties soy ice cream sandwiches
    Soy delicious ice cream – I always hated the coconut milk variety. weirdly sweet.
    Almond breeze chocolate milk
    Amy’s frozen meals are often dairy free
    silk egg nog – do yourself a favor and put rum in it. It’s great on its own, but rum is awesome
    Famous Amos sandwich cookies are vegan. how? whatevs, go eat one
    tofutti cream cheese on a Thomas’ everything bagel – my go to breakfast of choice for a while. Has a ridiculous amount of protein.

    As far as general breastfeeding, I had always wanted to 100% breastfeed, but I have a crazy medical condition that fucks my life up. I won’t bore you with my sob story, but there came a point when I realized that I was doing ALL I could do, and there was just no way I would have the breastfeeding scenario I had envisioned. I would never be able to make enough milk and would always have to rely on supplements. 5 lactation consultants and hundreds of dollars later, I came to peace knowing that I had done everything I could. Somehow, the fact that I knew in my heart that I had explored all options gave me the strength to move on.

    If I could give you any advice at all, I would recommend that you do the most you can do given the circumstance you are in right now, at this moment in your life. Do the best you can. Try the probiotics and reduce your dairy intake. Buy some fairy crystals or something. And at the end of the day, if you have a miserable, unhappy baby and decide to switch to formula, you will know that you have done all you could. Please, please, please, once you make that choice you need to OWN IT. No looking back. No regrets.

  • Melissa O December 12, 2012 at 7:39 am

    my son and collic and awful gas n i thought it was my milk…i changed everything THEN a magical fairy said LITTLE REMEDIES GRIPE WATER,its all natural ginger and gas tummy trouble elinator friggin magic bc after ONE day the collic was gone…gone..n we had nooo tummy trouble again…when i had my lil girl she hated nursing,threw me into a depression…im still often sad about it but i did put her on formula at firstvshe was a lil gassy n cranky gave her the gripe water and BAM instant magic again,this is after like two applications in one day!im telling you it is awesome in a bottle,i buy it for all baby showers and new moms bc it litterly saved everyones lives around me and mine!! Good luck!!

  • Jesse December 12, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Hi Modg,
    We’ve been a vegan family for a few months now (my husband had a super restricted diet during radiation treatment for thyroid cancer, long story… he’s fine now.) We decided to stay vegan afterward for better health and a better planet.
    Here are some tips:
    Coconut oil is a great butter sub for baking, but it melts at a lower temp, so chill your dough before baking.
    I like earth balance spread for toast, etc.
    Nutritional yeast adds a cheesy flavor to sauces. I like to make a faux mac and cheese by mixing it into pureed veggies like squash or cauliflower.
    Daiya brand faux cheese is good and non-hydrog.
    While my husband was on the diet I made my own almond milk. 1:1 ratio of almonds to water, soak overnight, blend, and strain (save the gritty stuff for muffins).

    Hang in there! On a side note, I’m trying to get my 16-month-old off the boob and off course we all get sick. Just when I can almost not wear a bra again, I can feel my boobs filling up from his comfort snacking.

  • demi December 12, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Happy Birthday to G! And Ruby is so adorable.

    Since you already have so many people with stories of their own as well as advice, I’ll just say, do what YOU need to do to be a HAPPY and rested momma. That’s all Ruby and G want in the end really. If it’s formula, it’s formula…no biggie!! :) Trust your instincts at what is best for you and baby and you will be fine. HUGS! xo

  • Jodie December 12, 2012 at 8:21 am

    My oldest is 20, my youngest is 3. There is so much pressure to be a perfect mother. Each generation seems to get worse. With age, you really learn to ignore the critics and do what’s best for your family. I told my mom 20 years ago about mothering ” you have to look like a model, decorate like martha stewart, your meals have to look like they came out of gourmet magazine, your children have to play every sport, but also study an art so they are well rounded, and don’t forget the honor roll, etc.”. With each child the pressures have grown. Now, it’s all of the above, plus run a marathon, eat organic, dairy free, gluten free, eliminate every possible toxin from the child’s life (no pressure there!) only use all natural all the time, etc. You get my point. Don’t get me wrong, those aren’t bad things, but things that I didn’t even have to think about when I was a 20 year old mom, ( toothpaste? Heck, I grabbed what was on sale!) are now major life issues. It’s too much, too much pressure. I hope that young mom’s really understand that you don’t have to be perfect, you only have to do your best. Take care of yourself, and your kids will be happier.

  • Drew December 12, 2012 at 8:28 am

    I think the Paleo way of eating is dairy and egg free…a friend recently made these AMAZING dairy, gluten, and egg free gingerbread cookies (I didn’t have a whole lot of faith before I tried them):

  • Becky December 12, 2012 at 8:30 am

    I had my 2nd November 14. My other daughter is 26 months.

    I live for the older one going to preschool. Three days a week from 9 to 1. My husband recently asked if she could go all five days (too bad they are full). OMG. I spent this morning telling her not to hit me. Makes me twitchy.

    I am so scared for Christmas break (two weeks off!). Send chocolate. And tranquilizer darts for the toddler.

  • Tia December 12, 2012 at 8:44 am

    An infant and a two year old is hard. My second came when my oldest was 20 months. The craziness that is two is comparable to nothing in the world (or so it seems). I, very reluctantly, started supplementing, until eventually my youngest was strictly on formula. No, it’s not ideal, or our first best plan, but I have a happy and healthy 6 month old, who has yet to be sick. And I have no more panic attacks, which I was getting beforehand from the stress of having a crazy toddler who ran rampant while I was nursing. You know the saying, if mama isn’t happy, no one is happy. Best of luck!

  • Lisa December 12, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Dudes, I’m a militant lactivist, but honestly I don’t think I could do a full elimination diet. I couldn’t. It would kill me a little inside but I’d do formula in that scenario.

  • Heather December 12, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Nutritional yeast, it is a magic ingredient! It has a cheese like flavor, and is full of good stuff for you. You can get it at whole foods, some stores sell it in the bulk section some sell it in canisters in the supplement section. If you are only cutting out dairy and not eliminating soy yet, get some firm tofu press out the water, put in a food processor with a few cloves of garlic, 2tbs olive oil, and 2 tbs nutritional yeast, it tastes like real ricotta like cheese. You can use this mixture for stuffed shell pasta if you mix in some spinach, you can use it in lasagna, and I suspect (have yet to try) that you can use it for enchiladas, I am also contemplating trying this mixture to create a vegan artichoke dip. I hope this helps somewhat.

    • Gracie December 12, 2012 at 11:50 pm

      Nutritional yeast is delish – so good on popcorn.

  • Amy December 12, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I live right down the road from Green Pea Baby and it is an awesome store. 9 months ago when I had my son, the lactation consultant told me I needed nipple shields to feed my son correctly and I bought them out! Never in my life was I so dependent on a little piece of silicone and Green Pea Baby was my go-to store.
    Good luck to you and your family. After struggling with my milk supply and finally exclusively pumping, I switched to formula. I had TONS of mommy guilt over it but now that I look back, it was the best thing I ever did for him.

    • Amy @ drivethirtythree December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

      ah yes…the lovely nipple shields. i was in the same boat. I think i had 4 or 5 in heavy rotation..and i always seemed to lose them! i ended up doing the same thing too..pumping and formula. luckily for me it was with my second, and the mommy guilt about doing this wasn’t really there. i had learned from my experience attempting to nurse with my son that i have to do what’s best for both of us, and not stress out, because in the long being stressed out around him is way worse than him not getting breastfed.

  • Jenn in Tenn December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Yay for you knowing when to say when. You know what’s best for your body and your children, and we can’t always be perfect. Proud of you for stepping up and admitting the tough stuff! Prayers for you and your sweet babies.

  • Amy @ drivethirtythree December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am

    i have no magic or dairy free recipes for you, but I will say this. you are a strong, amazing, inspiring woman. whichever path you choose will be what’s best for you and your family. breastfeeding a newborn with a sassy 2 year old around is a whole new ball game, and you are right, you need to take care of yourself in order to take good care of them.

    excited for WANA!

  • Cheryl S. December 12, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Thank you for this. I had HORRIFYING PPD with my daughter. I formula fed because of it. Every time someone asked my why I wasn’t breast feeding, I wanted to scream! You truly do not know someone else’s situation. I hope you find the answer for Miss Ruby, but I assure you, she’ll be fine on formula if that’s the way it goes. My daughter is now 7 and is smart, sassy, healthy and all the other good things you want from a kiddo!

  • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:03 am

    You do what’s best for your family. Whether than means you put Ruby on formula and go from there or you whittle away the possible triggers to her gas. Whatever you decide to do, THAT’S the best decision for you and for your family. No one should judge you and you shouldn’t feel guilty about doing what works for you. You’re doing a GREAT job and you’ll get the hang of juggling two kiddos soon enough. It’s tough, but you’ll work into a rhythm that fits you. I know it took me a while to get into the swing of things and there was A LOT of stuff that I’d forgotten about the first time around. Best of luck to you all! Merry Christmas!

  • Chelsa December 12, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Infant massage!! I swore by it with my first and will religiously use it with boy (coming in 2 1/2 weeks). We’d do a bath, every night, then slather her up with grape seed oil and follow our written instructions on which way to rub and how many times. I think it’s part of the reason she slept so well too! Good luck MODG!

  • Jenn December 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Have you heard of the paleo diet? It’s no dairy or wheat but its kinda awesome. I’m a total carb addict but it hasn’t been hard. I get to eat bacon like every day and get to food in bacon grease and I’m losing weight. There’s a couple hundred books on it. I read practical paleo. It’s a quick easy read with a bunch of meal ideas. You don’t have to eat all that nasty gluten free shit you just don’t eat carby things and instead use almond or coconut flour if you want to make pancakes, breads or whatever. For pasta I’ve used Zuchinni and speghetti squash which are actually both amazing and taste very much like pasta. The only time it’s been hard if walking past the bakery section in grocery stores.

  • Jenn December 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Also it’s no soy. It’s basically just lean meats veggies and fruit. You eat like a caveman. Anything natural and easy to digest. If you can digest it well maybe ruby can too.

  • Jayme December 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

    almond milk! It’s so good I won’t ever go back to normal milk.

  • Megan December 12, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Girl. Adding another kid is a TOTAL GAME CHANGER. There is no way to describe it. Total Gong Show, and not in a good way. And I TOTALLY get you on the “I can’t go down that path again” with the feeding issues. With #1, I tortured myself for 5 months to breastfeed. With #2, after trying to nurse in the hospital and coming home with sore bloody nipples and no milk, I said, fuck this. I pumped for 8 weeks and that was a wrap. Formula and bottles all the way. And I realized I really went overboard with #1. Because unless you have figured out how to manipulate the space/time continuum, it is very, very difficult to trouble shoot newborn feeding issues alongside 2 year old attitude issues and stay even a little bit sane. I would also like to share that, though being formula fed mostly, both kids are healthy, smart, have had two ear infections between them total, and are not obese. Take the BF hype with a grain of salt. GOOD LUCK and hang in there. You will make it because you are such a bad ass.

  • Heather December 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Take Ruby to a chiropractor…weekly visits just might solve the gassiness!

  • kal December 12, 2012 at 10:55 am

    My breastfeeding kiddo can’t handle dairy either so I had to cut it. I was horrified to give up cupcakes – then I found this:

    I may or may not make myself a funfetti mug cupcake every night after he goes to bed.

  • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

    i think half the time we don’t do what is best for us and our situation because we are worried what other people will think. my baby only got to breastfeed the first 2 weeks, then i just dried up. it was so sad and frustrating. then i realized a big reason i felt so bad was because i would feel judged by everybody that i wasn’t breastfeeding. and i knew i couldn’t explain to every person out there why my baby was being formula fed.

    then i said, eff them. who cares? this is my baby and my boob we’re talking about here, so why does every other person in the world feel like they should get an opinion about it? i don’t understand a society that says women have a right to abort a baby, and yet now in many places women have to take courses about breastfeeding before a hospital will let them feed the baby formula. what is going on?

    i’m not trying to open up a political debate, i am just saying if we decide women can make decisions about what is best for themselves in that situation, why do people judge them for making much smaller decisions? we women need to stop being so hard on eachother.

  • K December 12, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Just cheering you on. You are amazing.

  • Heather December 12, 2012 at 11:13 am

    This won’t prevent the gas from happening, but when it does, this was a LIFE SAVER for us:

    The guy (credited with invented this UFC) has like 10 kids, so it’s no surprise he came up with something good.

  • Aly December 12, 2012 at 11:20 am

    I had a friend tell me recently about the great success she has had with the Windi. I had never heard of it, but you place this little thing up your baby’s butt and it helps them relieve their gas. Since Ruby is already farting a lot, it may not help, but I thought I would pass the info along anyway.

    I was actually introduced to your blog by a friend after I complained to her about my baby’s potential reactions to dairy through my breastmilk. After a lot of trial and error, I realized it was mostly just milk that bothered my baby’s tummy. I was able to reintroduce cheese and yogurt fairly quickly. Hang in there…you know this is very short term in the grand scheme of things!

  • Gail December 12, 2012 at 11:29 am

    I remember reading when you were going through the breastfeeding hell and everyone was encouraging you down either path. We all just wanted you to take care of yourself, because you gotta. While I am VERY happy that you are giving it 100% with Ruby, I am just as happy for you that you realized that formula isn’t just easier, it can also better for YOU. And B. And G. And thank you, thank you, thank you, for committing to not judging other mothers. We are all in this together, and we should lift each other up. So GO MODG!

  • Lisa December 12, 2012 at 11:50 am

    Ok, I have a stupid question.

    What’s so bad about her farting? Maybe she’s just gassy? My baby was gassy as well and it looked like she was always straining to fart. When she did it felt better and that was that. The doc said it’s because their muscles aren’t strong and they are building them up. So, other than the gas, is there something else you are concerned about? People fart, right?

  • Kristen December 12, 2012 at 11:52 am

    I hope you don’t get any judgey comments if you switch to formula for baby Ruby. Obviously every one knows that “Breast is Best” (usually) but jeez louise, it doesn’t work for everyone. I had to switch to formula when my son was 4 months and it caused me about a billion more tears (becuase of feeling like a bad Mom) than it ever caused him. I don’t think he noticed a thing . Do whats best for you and the little lady!

  • Missy December 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    i used to have issues with dairy and it was the worst thing ever in the world. it seems like everything has dairy in it. i feel your pain.

    i totally agree with doing what is best for you and that if you are not a happy mom then you are not a good mom – i don’t even have kids, so what the hell do i know. other than the fact that my pets sure get scared when i’m in a bad mood. 😀

    omg – i just remembered i had a dream the other day that i met you. i’m not a stalker. LOL. how hilarious that leaving this comment just made me remember that?!

  • Tabatha December 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    I am due in January with baby #3. My first two had reflux and gas issues. This time around, some one told me it can be as simple as low probiotics / prebiotics in the breast milk. She gave her fussy angry newborn probiotics, and in a few days she was like a brand new baby. They ran out of the medicine while on vacation, and within just a day or so, the baby was crying and gassy again. I’ll do anything to avoid going through what my babies and I went through before, so I am going to give it a try. Since probiotics / prebiotics pass through breast milk, I am taking them myself. I figure if that’s the problem, then I may as well fix the source (me). It just seems likely that it may be an issue on my end, so I may as well give it a shot. It can’t hurt. I had never heard of this before, but there are all sorts of studies backing the theory up. You may want to talk to your midwife or pediatrician about taking a daily probiotic to see if that helps. Don’t bother with yogurt. GO straight for the real stuff. You can buy brands that are dairy and gluten free.

  • Amy L. December 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Ugh. Was about to ask if you were chugging water, and it seems you are. That’s good though- shower for your insides and all. Have you tried taking a probiotic?

  • Melissa December 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    The only thing you need to remember – which you wrote in this post is this: “I need to do what’s best for us.” That’s the only hard and fast rule of parenting. What is best for you is all that matters, remember that, run with that, forget everyone else.

    I won! Emailing you now! Woohooo!

  • C December 12, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Confessions of a former judger: A friend of mine went through this about a year ago, and me being totally naive and opinionated (and childless. hello, clueless) definitely judged her for “giving up” on breastfeeding so easily. I get it now. Well, as much as I can without having a kid myself. So I wanted to say thanks, to you and your readers, for being willing to share your experiences, both good and bad. You are doing something productive to educate women, and to teach us all to be more understanding, open-minded, and just plain kind towards one another. My husband and I are ready to start trying for a baby, and I hope if I end up in a difficult situation like this one that I have women around me who are as encouraging and supportive as you and your readers.

  • Kelly December 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    is the baby farting AND screaming?

  • Kylie December 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    You’ve got this! You

  • Wiggs December 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Holy crap, you already have a lot of comments. If you’re still reading, my husband is a lactard so we’ve had to work around milk. First, you should know that you can probably still have goat and/or sheep milk products, so if you need cheese, there are some great options that are pretty darn close to dairy cheese. Second, we really like coconut milk as a milk substitute for cereal. Almond milk is great, too. Soy milk is good but there’s the whole estrogen issue, so drink it in moderation.

    Good luck!

  • Wiggs December 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Oh, also, sometimes lactards can handle yogurt because of the probiotics. I’d recommend trying that, too – my husband can sometimes handle other dairy (like a slice of cheese on his sandwich) if he started the day with yogurt (the kind with live active cultures).

  • Ashley December 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Your babies are so cute! I too have a child that lets off the cryren if I put him down ever, I will be using that term. I was dairy-free for nine months b/c baby was sensitive to dairy proteins, not lactose. I love almond milk and coconut yogurt but never found a decent dairy free cheese. You can do it for as long as you like, but I totally agree with your position that formula is an option. I was devastated when I needed to supplement my son at 6 months but now that I look back, I probably would have been much less stressed and depressed if I had just supplemented earlier. do what you know to be best for you and your family.

    Ps-your hair is perfect.

  • Danielle December 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    When is operation wana starting?

  • Julie December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Do what you need to do! I am very very pro-bf but had to use formula with my baby twins. Had so so much guilt! But guess what – they are big strong and were very healthy their whole first year. :-) now they are super smart and active 2.5 yr olds! Do what is best for the whole fam!

  • M December 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    I have never left a comment, but frequently check out your blog. My friend suggested I read it when I was breastfeeding my dairy-intolerant daughter – she thought your tips and trials would be encouraging. She was right.
    I am prompted to go from casual reader to commenter to share what got me through 13 months of a dairy, soy, and egg free diet. Because that shit is hard. Not hard like, I wish I could have some mac-and-cheese hard. Hard like it takes twice as long to grocery shop because I have to read every ingredient on everything I want to put in my mouth hard. Not to mention eating out or (god forbid) eating at a friend or family member’s house. People will say, “oh, it’s all worth it for the baby” or “oh, it’s temporary” or “oh, there are a lot of things you CAN eat”, blah blah blah. Those comments are true, but they are of little comfort when you are facing months on end of a restricted diet. So good for you for trying. What you are doing is amazing for your child and trust me, not many people could do it. True statement. I asked my husband to give up dairy for like 3 days and it about broke him. But also know that if it doesn’t work out, you are still amazing and your daughter will be amazing.

    • Rice milk (not great by the glass, but does the trick for cereal and baking)
    – I couldn’t do soy or almond based milk, but understand they are a little thicker and creamier
    • Earth Balance fake butter (sticks for baking, tub spread for toast)
    • Chocolate Coconut Milk Ice “cream” (the mint and plain flavors are a little gross)
    • OREOS
    • Dairy free brownie recipe (find a cocoa-based recipe and make with fake butter; add oreos to the batter and canned frosting and broken ores to the top – I probably made a pan of these a week)
    • Avocadoes on everything (the creaminess made up for the lack of cheese and spread for me)
    • Don’t order fake cheese on pizza. Ever. Drizzle olive oil on top.
    • Buy bread from a bakery (homemade bread rarely contains dairy; Breadsmith is great if you have them in your area)
    • Ghirardelli chocolate chips
    • Ghirardelli brownie mix
    • Enjoy Life Brand products
    • Crisco for baking
    • Dark chocolate
    • Tofutti sour cream and cream cheese (for cooking)
    • Check out godairyfree dot org
    • Nutramigen Formula

  • Hali McCloud December 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I have never commented on a blog post in my life and I just started following your blog a few weeks ago. I’m not even a fan of personal blogs but I stumbled onto MODG and I must admit, you’re pretty fuckin funny. I totally relate to you. My son is 22 months older than my daughter. I also have an 11 week old son. My first had severe reflux and barfed every 20 minutes so I had to nurse him 24/7 for a year. I felt chained to the couch. I began to resent him. He weaned himself when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter who I then nursed for 18 months. I figure I breast fed someone for about 3 years straight. When my new baby was born I was dreading breastfeeding but was determined to do it anyway. It flat out didn’t work. None of it. Not for me or him. After about 5 weeks I began to wean him. The engorgement was nuts. Now though, he’s 11 weeks old and we have the formula thing down. It seemed so complicated at first. Breastfeeding is still way easier when you’re not at home. I have to time all of our outings around a bottle. I also live in Olympia, Washington which is nothing but feminist lesbians and hippies. Everyone here is a doula or midwife and every mom gave birth in her backyard between her chicken coop and compost bin. Really. I was even studying to be a birth educator/lactation consultant when I got knocked up this last time. So the pressure to breastfeed here is intense. I’m terrified of having to feed my baby in front of anyone. I have a whole story planned for the occasion. So anyway, feel free to email me if you need some advice, support, help. Whatever. Oh and I also think elimination diets are crap. I did it with my first son to no avail. My baby, on formula, gets just as gassy and farty and pukey as he did on breastmilk and I never wonder what the cow ate for lunch. Good luck.

  • Amy December 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    I am right there with you. I have a 7 week old that nurses around the clock and a four year old. I did the elimination diet last time and managed to nurse my daughter until she was two. I figured second time around would be a breeze. Wow was I wrong. I am seriously considering formula. As one who believes in bfing I can’t believe I am considering this so early but I can’t nurse every hour and a half much longer. And I can’t do a crazy diet again. And I can’t let the rest of my life go to shit. And I need to take care of my four year old too. And I can’t sink into ppd again. I gotta take care of myself.

  • Hali McCloud December 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Oh, and remember, 6 months will fly by and by then most babies have outgrown any digestive issues.

  • Emily December 12, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    With my son, I had major supply issues thanks to the mini-pill (most people don’t have issues with it, but I’m special, I guess). I spent 7 or more months obsessing, pumping, crying, pumping, nursing on demand, nursing on a schedule, waking us both up to nurse, pumping, washing pump parts, taking dozens of supplements, pumping, drinking weird teas, eating oatmeal, guzzling water, nursing via the weird tubey thing (SNS), crying, pumping . . . I was miserable. I was already suffering from PPD and this whole situation made it worse. I begrudgingly supplemented, but I kept thinking I could get my supply back.

    Looking back, I so regret it. Instead of being cooped up in the house, on an insane cycle of nurse/SNS nursing/bottlefeed/pump/wash pump and bottles and then pretty much start all over. DUDE! I should have packed up a bottle of formula and been outside ENJOYING MY BABY instead of watching every episode of TV ever available on Netflix. I WILL NOT put myself through that again. It sort of defeats the point of breastfeeding – bonding and health – if what you are doing in order to breastfeed makes everyone miserable.

  • SA December 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    You should try this product!

    Because the Swedes swear that deflating their babies is the way to go…and are you going to argue with the people who came up with Ikea?

  • Katia December 12, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    No dairy free or fart free magic tricks I’m afraid, but I do identify with your decision to do what is best for you (=best for your children). I went through the same with my first one. I fought to continue breastfeeding him, went on a dairy free diet but then had to stop on account of his bad latch that didn’t improve with multiple visits to the breastfeeding clinic. This time around with my 4 month old I breastfed him until 2 weeks ago but started supplementing with formula very early on, overcoming my sense of guilt. Breastfeeding was SO painful this time around that labour had nothing on it. I dreaded feeding and cried from pain every time he latched on but felt that this wasn’t a good enough reason to start supplementing with formula. Eventually I did while continuing to work on breastfeeding with the consultants at the clinic and my life instantly became so much better. Aint mama happy aint nobody happy is such a good saying. I hope you manage to continue doing what’s important for you and breastfeed Ruby but don’t feel judged if you can’t. Your kids need a happy mama.

  • Meghan December 12, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Not sure if anyone else has said this, but with a 3 month old myself I’m not likely to get the time to read all the comments – soz.

    Fennel tea has been a godsend for us on the farty baby front. I’ve been drinking it so much I swear I’m turning into a fennel bulb. And onw, after an illness and a drop in supply, I’ve changed to drinking tea made from 2 parts caraway seed, 1 part fennel and 1 part aniseed, which seems to be doing the trick.

    We also took our kiddo to a cranial osteopath, which has helped with the digestive issues as well as her range of motion in her neck, improving her latch/positioning. It looks like you’re dropping a ton of cash for someone to basically hold your baby’s head, but trust me, it works. Good for Mama, too, to sort out post-preg/birth/bf-ing/carrying a baby all damn day long neck/back/pelvis pain.

    People don’t say this enough to new Moms: you are awesome. Major props to you for establishing breastfeeding, especially after a section, but mostly a big fat WELL DONE for just getting through. This stuff is hard hard hard.

  • Theresa December 13, 2012 at 12:30 am

    I really wish I had some good dairy-free advice for you, but I don’t. I was reduced-dairy for all of a week before I stopped breastfeeding due to next-to-non-existent-production. I DO want to thank you for your comments about not judging and doing what you have to do. I had a scheduled c-section (I cannot stand it when people ask me why I “elected” one. I didn’t) thanks to a ginormous 10 lb. breech baby, my baby never latched so I had to bottle feed from day one, and had to supplement with formula too. I felt like every other woman was looking at me with disgust. So THANK YOU, for all your posts shedding light on how not controllable so much of our lives are with babies. All we can do is our best, and we do need to take care of ourselves. So glad, that you are talking about how important that is, and taking the steps you need to to do so! Hang in there – you’re an amazing mama in this mama’s eyes!

  • KT December 13, 2012 at 3:17 am

    Hang in there, sister. 2/3 year olds are assholes and I feel like boys are a lot less interested in the whole “helping with the baby” bullshit. My 3 year old was 1,000% sure he wanted zero to do with changing his sister’s diapers. Basically, it sucks for a while. For everyone. It took me 3 months to get some parenting confidence back after baby #2 arrived. But it does get better. And now my son and daughter are BFF.

    Most babies are fart monsters with their immature guts and stuff, both my kids were. I went dairy free from 3 months to 7 months with my daughter. She had gas, green poop, puking, blood in the diaper, etc. Poor babe. I was ready to switch to formula too. We started supplementing with my son at 3 months, he was full time formula by 5 months. So I have absolutely no problem with formula. But I do have a problem with being broke. That shit is expensive. Especially if you don’t have time to always be tracking down the best deal in the land. And then I would hear stories of people switching and nothing changing, allergies getting worse. I lived in fear of the dreaded prescription formula, some $40-$80 a can, yo. Dairy free sucked, nursing for 14 months sucked, but not being able to buy a million pairs of baby skinny jeans/shoes/headbands for the only daughter I will ever have and oh yeah, pay our bills and buy food would have sucked even more. So she and I marched on and a month after she started solids, she and dairy were cool again. And I drowned myself in milkshakes. Now she eats yogurt all day and chugs milk like a frat boy. Awesome. My point is, find your balance and do whatever is going to make you the least sad. Be it formula or pink baby adidas or both. Take care of you and you will be in the best shape for taking care of her. Period.

    In the meantime…rice milk for cereal, coconut creamer for coffee, coconut milk ice cream, Oreos, pop tarts, chocolate sorbet, enjoy life or trader joes chocolate chips, earth balance spread and a shit ton of dark chocolate. And no dairy free “cheese” EVER. Trust me. Just don’t. It will only make you sad.

  • Amy Gard December 13, 2012 at 8:38 am

    Girl, you are doing great! Hang in there!…. I too wanted to breastfeed my children and tried each time but to no avail. I was able to for a couple weeks before starting them on formula. They are happy healthy young adults today. [26, 24 & 21]. I believe they have had to learn to improvise in life because of this step back… (ha ha…ok it my was of justifying it!)… Any hoo.. take care of yourself; you need to be healthy and strong to raise those little ankle-biters! God love them <3

  • Jaime December 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Sounds like you have it figured out that dairy is causing the farts.
    My sister was in a similar situation but found that if she stopped eating tomatoes the gassy-ness seemed to go away. Now that she is not breast feeding, her son does have a lactose sensitivity, but while she was breastfeeding, it didn’t seem to be the issue.
    Just food for thought.

  • Amber December 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

    Hi Amanda. I just wanted to leave you some words of support. I struggled to provide breast milk for my oldest son. I pumped every two hours, woke up in the middle of the night to pump, took ridiculously expensive compounded drugs for an off label use, and still couldn’t get enough milk for one bottle all day. After 6 months I finally gave up. I felt like a failure. I think most people don’t know how bad it hurts to listen to “breast is best” when it’s impossible for you to give that to your child. Nate is 9. He is happy, smart, outgoing, and fun. Everything wrong with him is genetic. :) Ruby will be a great kid whether she nurses or is fed formula. Give yourself a break and enjoy the time with her. It will go even faster than it did with G.

  • lacey December 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

    I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times over, but: Daiya. Best thing ever invented in all the world. It’s soy-free too–made from pea protein or something. And it melts! I am sitting here eating a piece of French bread (torn roughly from the loaf ’cause I wanted at the Daiya so badly) covered in the jalapeño-garlic flavor and sliced avocado, and it is the most amazing thing I have ever tasted. Better than cheese. Love. Do it now.

    Good luck. You can totally, totally do this.

  • lacey December 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

    P.S. KT! You really really really need to try Daiya! Melt it in an enchilada like stat!

    I promise I don’t work for the company.

    • KT December 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm

      Lol, I tried it and hated it. It was better for me to go without. But I have a friend who loves it! To each their own :)

  • Sarah December 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I think I recommended this when G was a baby, but Custom Probiotics saved my sanity. There are bacteria in the vagina that colonize a baby’s gut, and if baby is born by c-section they don’t get colonized in the same way. Also, if baby (or mom) is on antibiotics that can alter gut bacteria, too…so if you were on abx after your c-section it’s a double-whammy :( For us, I had abx during labor and then my daughter had an abx shot right after she was born, so my hypothesis is that her gut wasn’t working as well as it should have. Colicky screaming mess for her first 1.5 years (not sure how I survived!). Enter Custom Probiotics, and I had a totally different kid. This was after a year of trial and error culminating in a total elimination diet that she was on for a couple of months.

    Email or call the company ~ they will probably send you a free sample (I get the infant formulation that is acidophilus, bifidus, infantum).

    Also, cranio-sacral therapy can be helpful for colic.

  • Liz December 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Hi Amanda,

    I also had a colicky baby and went on a diehard diet .. and I cried and cried … I felt so alone ….

    I feel for you … I am also a diehard breastfeeding proponent but even more diehard that the mother’s health is the most important … even over breastfeeding.

    So – do what you need to do. You will make the right decision for your family and you.

    Long story related to the diehard diet – which is not importat here – however, I now have a gluten free bakery (little colic boy is now a strapping 3 yr old who nursed until he was 2 and is the center of my universe) in which I bake bread and cinnamon and cardamom swirls that dont have gluten, soy, potato, dairy or eggs. I use xanthan gum which can be corn based, so the products are not technically corn free even though I dont use corn flour.

    I’ll send you some if you like. They freeze very well, so you can stick them into the freezer and defrost. Email me your mailing address.


  • Ladera Mom December 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    GOOD FOR YOU! I’m so glad that you realize that you have to take care of yourself first. Don’t blame yourself for ANY of the decisions that you make as a mother. GO MODG! Those kids deserve a happy, (emotionally) healthy mom :) good luck… and thanks for making me feel better about not being able to breast feed EITHER of my boys even though I wanted to (milk didn’t come in, tearing my hair out, lots of tears, advice, and it never happened)

  • outlet December 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    just what goes up, ought to come down?

  • Christy December 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    2 kids does = a whole new level of hell you never knew existed. Also taught me not to judge. I thought my first was hard. Then the second, 18 months later…wow. Emergency c-section, NICU, 6 months of pumping only- because she couldn’t latch on. Its hard girl! But, as you know now because you’re an old pro, it gets easier. They are now 3 and 18months, and life is easier (except for fits). I was lucky not to have PPD, but had some crazy anxiety. Which i don’t really think anything was physically wrong with me, i think its just to be expected because its freaking crazy work! So, my point- your a great mom, this too shall pass, and just try to enjoy it while its here. Happy Holidays to you and your beautiful family. =)

  • Natalie December 13, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Being the best mom possible is the number one priority! And I too have adopted the “no judging” attitude….and force myself to believe no one is judging me in return. Peace, love and all that.

    Now one thing you NEED to eat, no matter what you decide about the BFing is this:

    also that site in general is amazing. I gave up a bunch of shit in order to not be a chubby girl anymore….good news is I found this recipe from that situation :)

  • Denise December 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Can I say that she may just be a gassy baby, my son was the same way on breastmilk and we even tried formula once and it was way worse, hang in there it will get better.

  • Al December 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    This is going to sound ridiculous but sometimes I put yogurt on my boobs. Probiotics in some studies help with colic and babies born by c section don’t get the right digestive flora to start out (they get what’s on your belly skin, not your intestines- you can guess why not.) Healthy bacteria, like what’s in good quality yogurt, might help her. Soy yogurt on the boobs? Just a thought.

  • Tan December 14, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I went through breast feeding HELL for 4 months – and I became a 100% better mom the day I stopped. Next babe I won’t do what I did for #1 because I was a disaster. Do what works for you and take care of yourself, without worrying about judgemental a-holes.

  • Emily December 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Nursing a first is way differnt than a second or third even. I went through hell and back to nurse my first BUT that was the only thing I had to do. No job, no other baby, no other distractions. My second baby came along and my first would scream and lunge at me everytime I nursed the new baby. At 18 mos she just couldnt understand and what is a mama to do? I am happy to say that my formula fed baby is a blue belt in karate and above level academically and most importantly a master Lego creator. He also has had ONE ear infection compared to his bread fed older sibling’s too many to even count. He also loves his mama just like a mama’s boy should. He says wonderful things to me like he loves me in his heart and to the moon and back and back and back and that our hearts have eachother. So yes, a formula fed baby can be smart and healthy and bond with you and turn out super awesome just like a breast fed baby. Oh and by the way, my breast fed baby as super awesome as she is still throws fits and can embarrass the hell out of me in public. It is the mothering that matters and I think we can all agree that you are a wonderful mama.

  • ali December 14, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    I really hope it isn’t dairy – it’s so rough. First time finding your blog, but I saw this and had to comment immediately. My daughter had some awful issues early on, I thought I was going to have to cut out everything, but low and behold, it was chocolate! Yes, it sucked really bad, but I found many, many other delicious treats until she overcame her intolerance around 7 months.

    So all that just to say, don’t take a big leap yet. Try a few different things and who know, maybe you won’t have to shut everything down for the next year.

  • erin December 15, 2012 at 12:17 am

    Sorry you may have to go through that again, but good for you for acknowledging that you may have to do something you really don’t want to in order to take care of yourself. No judgement here. My first kid (now almost 3) wouldn’t latch and after a very emotionally painful time I made the decision to exclusively pump. My lactation consultant equated my decision to “selling my soul and making a deal with the devil” (her exact words). After 3 months, I switched to formula for a variety of reasons. Now with my second (now 8 months) I did the same thing because she wouldn’t latch either. While it hurt not to be able to breastfeed, I pumped as long as I could (way harder the second time with a two year old running around, but I did it). Just so you know, my oldest is super smart and healthy and well adjusted, so please don’t worry if you have to do formula. It will be fine. And don’t worry about others judging you, a happy mommy makes for happy and healthy children.

  • Dannis December 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Holy shitballls you got a ton of advice. But here’s my 2£. MspiMama is on fb and her own blog. Great simple recipes and tips. Also. We had horrible GI issues and my daughter was in hospital for two weeks at 4.5months old. We tried nursing with me no dairy/anything good, nutramagin, and progestimil and finally she went to Neocate while we were in the hospital. Miracle gold dust formula. Will go straight to it if I ever get the balls to have another baby and it shows mspi symptoms. Even though our insurance blows and it cost us @$300 a month. Now, my daughter is a year old and she’s drinking whole milk and other dairy like a boss. F. the haters. Boob juice isn’t always best. No matter how bad you want it to be.

  • Erin December 18, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Please try Julie Senko at West Chester Wellness Center before you give up. She does NAET and it can help you and the baby get over the allergies sp you can keep breastfeeding! She is the ultimate hippie healer (and she really helps).

  • Can-C Eye Drops January 1, 2013 at 2:17 am

    Our one year old son has a dairy allergy. We were giving him a soy based formula but we are very eager to transition away form soy because its estrogenic properties make me nervous. It seems that there is no perfect alternative to cow’s milk insofar as nothing can provide the same amount of (good) fat and protein, but what is our best alternative and what are the pros and cons of what’s out there? We are trying to choose between rice, oat, hemp, coconut*, almond* or oat… unless there is something else we have overlooked?