For 9 months we thought that tomorrow would be the day that we would meet you. Even though we knew that you may have your own plan, like your brother did. We still put our faith in the smart people who gave us this magic date that we told to family, friends and really anyone that asked. But really, the smart people who thought of this date are not as smart as you are.
All I ever wanted as your mom was for you to be healthy and be able to decide when and how you came to meet us for the first time. And as we’re approaching that magic day, it’s getting harder to let go of control and let you take the wheel. Carrie Underwood says that Jesus should do it, but I think that’s just irresponsible driving. See in this world today, we are lucky to have people who know a lot about our health and safety. But sometimes some situations are just out of our control. Like how your brother came to meet us. And even above my desire for you to come to us when you want to, is my desire for you to be healthy and safe. But this is a difficult line to walk.
Every morning I wake up hoping that this will be the day that you decide to come on out. I hope that you’ll give the signal that you’re ready and everything can just happen as nature intended. And we’re still waiting. And I try to remind myself that that’s ok. This is more of an exercise in patience for me than anything. Because I know once you do come out and as you grow, you will have opinions and make choices that are different than mine. You are your own person and this is my first lesson in letting you become who you are.
I hope you know that we are doing every single thing in our power to let you come to us how you want to. But that may not happen if time goes on. Please know that we did our best and if you have to come to us in a different way, it’s only because we love you and want you to be safe. But the other lesson I’m learning is that after I let you become your own person, I will do anything to fight for the best for you. I will not give up and I will do whatever it takes to give you the best shot in this world now and as you grow..starting with your birth.
So even though those smart people told us that tomorrow would be our first meeting (and am reminded by every single person who asks me if you’re here yet), I know you’re much smarter than they are and I trust you and I love you.
And when I see you for the first time and hold you in my arms, I will tell you the same thing that day and every day.