We were told tomorrow would be your birthday.

Dear Baby,

For 9 months we thought that tomorrow would be the day that we would meet you. Even though we knew that you may have your own plan, like your brother did. We still put our faith in the smart people who gave us this magic date that we told to family, friends and really anyone that asked. But really, the smart people who thought of this date are not as smart as you are. 

All I ever wanted as your mom was for you to be healthy and be able to decide when and how you came to meet us for the first time. And as we’re approaching that magic day, it’s getting harder to let go of control and let you take the wheel. Carrie Underwood says that Jesus should do it, but I think that’s just irresponsible driving. See in this world today, we are lucky to have people who know a lot about our health and safety. But sometimes some situations are just out of our control. Like how your brother came to meet us. And even above my desire for you to come to us when you want to, is my desire for you to be healthy and safe. But this is a difficult line to walk. 

Every morning I wake up hoping that this will be the day that you decide to come on out. I hope that you’ll give the signal that you’re ready and everything can just happen as nature intended. And we’re still waiting. And I try to remind myself that that’s ok. This is more of an exercise in patience for me than anything. Because I know once you do come out and as you grow, you will have opinions and make choices that are different than mine. You are your own person and this is my first lesson in letting you become who you are. 

I hope you know that we are doing every single thing in our power to let you come to us how you want to. But that may not happen if time goes on. Please know that we did our best and if you have to come to us in a different way, it’s only because we love you and want you to be safe. But the other lesson I’m learning is that after I let you become your own person, I will do anything to fight for the best for you. I will not give up and I will do whatever it takes to give you the best shot in this world now and as you grow..starting with your birth.

So even though those smart people told us that tomorrow would be our first meeting (and am reminded by every single person who asks me if you’re here yet), I know you’re much smarter than they are and I trust you and I love you. 
And when I see you for the first time and hold you in my arms, I will tell you the same thing that day and every day. 

Love,
Mommy

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{ 46 comments }

Lauren F November 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I really shouldn’t have read this while chopping onions. All the best to you and your family!

Audrey k November 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

This makes me tear up a little. I have been there, and it was tough. Good luck! You are in my thoughts. (word to Jesus taking the wheel).

sarah chew November 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Oh this is so sweet, made me cry a little. Good luck with everything!

Katrina @ 'Sota is Sexy November 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

1. This is incredibly sweet :)
2. I admire your patience. At least you can take comfort in the fact that cool people are always fashionably late.
3. You’re totally right…Carrie Underwood gives TERRIBLE driving advice. They didn’t even HAVE wheel’s in Jesus’ time…letting him steer a moving vehicle is just asking for an airbag to inflate.

Amber November 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Aww what a sweet letter to your daughter :) She’ll be here before you know it, and she’ll arrive in whatever way she wants. Those babies are incredibly stubborn ya know! Good luck! I hope you get the birth you want, but I admire your ability to keep realistically optimistic! Can’t wait to “meet” her!

Sarah November 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I was in your same situation exactly three months ago. I was 39 weeks pg with my second babe, and planning on a vbac. My little angel decided to somersault (how? It was like a tsunami in my tummy, I wish I had filmed it) at 38.5 weeks. A second cesarean birth was planned for Aug 8th, 2012. It took me a few days to come to terms with this, and accept and appreciate that my baby would be born safe and sound, regardless of what part of my anatomy she emerged from. Baby Z is now 3 months old and a perfect little girl! Good luck mama, it’s amazing!!!!

Katerina November 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Beautiful post!!! Let me hopefully pass on my good 2nd birth karma from 3.5 months ago – I wanted baby to come early SO BAD – he ignored me and I went into labor the NIGHT of my due date (1 contraction at 9:15pm, 1 contraction at 11:15pm (both attributed to toilet issues), then serious contractions woke me up at 1:15am – they were 4-5 min apart by 4am, was at the hospital at 5:15am, gave birth naturally at 8:15am. This after a relatively bad 1st birth 2 years ago – pre-eclampsia, induction, drugs, bazillion monitors, epidural, etc, and she came flying out about 3 minutes before they were going to wheel me into a c-section. I know how you feel and I wish you SO MUCH LUCK in getting the birth that you want/need/deserve.

Heather November 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I did a happy dance when I saw you had a new post, expected your usual-but-incredible smart ass humor. Instead I got a lovely, beautiful letter from you to your daughter, the kind of letter than any mother worth her salt would identify with and love. Fingers crossed for the happiest, healthiest Yo-She possible. We’re all excited to “meet” her on your blog, but will happily wait until she’s ready :)

Ellen November 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

38-41 weeks is the worst! I wanted to punch every single person who contacted me during those days. No matter what the initial reason for emailing, calling, etc, they ALL wanted to know if anything was happening. It makes you feel even more miserable when the only thing you can say is no. I give major props to women who go to 42. Gah!

Hang in there. Babies come when they come.

Lisa November 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Did you get hacked? ;)

Good luck in the coming days!

tara November 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Haha I was totally thinking the same thing! Especially because my computer started being stupid and underlining (out of nowhere) stuff in blue like “smart people”. I thought it was a link MODG put up and was going to show all the comments of her annoying (me) readers who keep asking “is Yoshe here?!?!”

Good luck MODG, you are awesome and have a wonderful hippie vagina. I hope Yoshe gets here soon (safe and healthy), however she decides to do it.

Also, you are awesome and that was really sweet and YoShe is going to have the most awesome family with the cutest older brother.

S November 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

This is so sweet! I’ve never been in your shoes, so I honestly can’t imagine how hard the not knowing is.
I’m sure you’ve gotten a bunch of people telling you that years after she’s here and healthy, it won’t matter how she got here. That’s true on some levels, but first of all, that is like telling someone with a screaming, crying newborn that in 2 years she won’t cry as much. It does nothing to help how you’re feeling now! Second of all, this IS up to Yoshee, but it’s also about you, too. You are allowed to feel upset if she doesn’t come out the way you wanted. I’m not trying to sound discouraging if it’s coming across that way, I just feel like too many people care quick to write of feelings of how women want their birth to go, and that’s not fair. I hope Yoshee decides to get on board with your plan, but if not, know that you will be okay, AND you shouldn’t feel judged if you need time to mourn the idea of how you wanted things to go, as this is something that’s important to you.

Kate November 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

So beautiful. Wishing you a beautiful delivery on her terms.

Kelly November 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I’m due Monday… Thanks I needed that. If one more person texts me asking if I’m in labor…

Kristi L November 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Waiting for your daughter to make her first decision is painful. I did everything, every trick in the book and when I schduled her induction for the Thursday of week 40 (41 was my docs limit) she came on Wednesday a night and i had my natural birth. Maybe i scared her out – or maybe i surendered. This sounds like your waving the white flag so Hang in as long as what’s safe for you and your daughter – healthy baby and healthy mama is what matters. Can’t wait to find out her name!!

my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you November 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

may the force be with you. they say when you stop wanting something..THAT’S when you get it.
but fuck those people. they probably don’t have vaginas.
may the force be strong with you.

Gia November 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm

So sweet!
Tomorrow is my “due date” as well, but my little girl seems to be in no rush to make her appearance. Been having these same sort of thoughts all day, so it was awesome to read them here as well. Good luck with everything! Hopefully our little ones will both decide to meet us soon!

Renee November 10, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Girls just do things on their own time. It’s part of our nature and probably a sign of her stubborn independence…not sure where she would get that quality from :)
Best of luck. She’ll be here before you know it!

Susan November 10, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I get so used to your “smart assity” (which I so love, btw)…that I forget you are a softie too. Praying that your baby girl comes soon and in the best way possible! ((hugs)) from GA.

Anna November 10, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Fashionably late? Like any girl should be?

Don’t feel like it’s all over if you do end up needing to be induced.

My daughter was induced…but it really was just a nudge that pushed us over the cliff into labour. They put the gel on my cervix at 12pm, I started getting irregular contractions by 1pm, was in full blown labour by 3pm and then I had her at 7.41am – much to the midwives’ amazement. I’d been told that I MAY have her by dinner time and if not, would have to have more gel, the drip etc. They had scared the bejesus out of me with all the negative talk about it not working, I was surprised that it went so well.

Got every finger crossed for you and your wee girl having a safe, preferably natural, birth. x

Elizabeth November 10, 2012 at 7:44 pm

You’ve still got plenty of time! She is safe and sound in there, and will come when she’s ready. Due dates are a dirty mind game. Sending patience vibes your way, and still believing that you are 100% capable of a successful VBAC!!

Laura November 10, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I was due a week ago and this has slightly helped to renew my patience, but I may have to read it every 15 minutes just to keep the patience train rolling ;)

KB November 10, 2012 at 8:07 pm

How much did you cry when you wrote this??

Sommer November 10, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I don’t even know you, but I’m sending you love anyway.

Andi November 10, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Just beautiful.

Hippie Hugs and Hearts and Rainbows to you!!

Maria November 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

I hope that baby girl will get to read this someday. So sweet :-)

harbormom November 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

If I saw you today in the check-out line at the grocery store, I would do for you what some nice lady did for me 33 years ago when, at 43 weeks, I was still waddling. She walked up to me and, silently, but with an understanding smile, handed me a bunch of flowers, and gave me a pat on the shoulder. Water broke at 9:30 that night, first contraction at 5 the following morning, birth at 7:30. No time for epidural. That precious girl will be 34 on April 1 and is still doing things her way, bless her. I wish you flowers, a sofa full of amniotic fluid, and a quick delivery (of your choice).

Jenn November 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Holy hell Modg! Here’s me, on a rainy Sunday afternoon in MN, praising the GODS that I got kid #1 and kid #2 down for a nap at the same time so that I can cozy up in the living room w/my laptop… AND HAVE A GOOD CRY!!! Now I have to get off my a$s to find the Kleenex! ;)

Isn’t it absolutely insane how much we love them!? How much we just want unicorns and rainbows for them?! Good for you for documenting it. I wish I could go back and record all of the love for my 2 girls – because I know in the not-so-distant future they’re going to HATE me and SCREAM at me all the while I’ll LOVE them to pieces and they won’t understand until they’re Mommies too.

You can do this! You’re a fantastic Mommy no matter how your kids arrive!!!

K November 11, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Oh Amanda, you are beautiful. Sniff, sniff.

LouiseH November 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I’m with you sister and I cried when I read this to my husband. I’m sitting at 41 wks with our little one still baking and am so SO tired of people making the decision for when and how my baby should come into this world. Since when did due dates become THE LAW? Best of luck to you, mama. May your baby girl come when she is ready and may we both take time to appreciate this waiting period.

Erica November 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Beautiful post!! Good luck with everything. Girls are so stubborn!

Thalia November 12, 2012 at 3:05 am

I induced my own labor by doing accupressure and eating eggplant.
Nothing harmful like medicine or anything at all.
You can walk and roll around on a yoga ball-it’s all harmless little things to get it going.
And if it doesn’t it’s completely fine.
Wish you and your family the best.

Katy November 12, 2012 at 7:37 am

This was so sweet! Hoping your smart baby decides it’s her time soon.

Amanda November 12, 2012 at 10:44 am

Good luck! Hoping mini MODG comes super soon!

Kendra November 12, 2012 at 11:37 am

Thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best. I hope you get to meet her very, very soon!

mommylisa November 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

So wonderful. I know all will be well A.

Heather P. November 12, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Hang in there! You know how we girls are…we do what we want, WHEN we want…and not a moment sooner. We also take WAY too long to get ready, especially when we know a bunch of strangers are going to be staring at us with many cameras flashing. :-)

Jonna November 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You’re such a great mom just by these beautiful intentions for your baby! Keep busy, stay relaxed. Get yourself some massage! You’ve earned it. :) Pulling for you…hope baby chooses the wise time for arrival when it’s just right. There’s so much pressure around “due dates” but he knows. ;)

Jonna November 12, 2012 at 4:18 pm

sorry *SHE!

Kate November 12, 2012 at 9:15 pm

it’s so hard to wait, especially when they threaten you with inductions and c-sections. you’re strong, so hang in there.

colleen November 12, 2012 at 9:55 pm

this is too sweet modg! i’m sorry your little girl hasn’t arrived yet because i know how badly you want it to go a certain a way, but however she makes her appearance i know it will be for the best after a post like this. such an important thing to remember even as a grown woman and i think of my mom – she’ll let me be my own person but she won’t stop fighting for what she thinks is right.

Elizabeth November 12, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I can’t stop checking your blog like a maniac. I just know Amy second there will be a VBAC Success post :)

amanda November 12, 2012 at 10:25 pm

B should be rubbing your feet and finding those acupressure points while feeding you ice cream.

Morgan November 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Very sweet and beautiful reminder for all us mommies and mommies-to-be. Your patience will be rewarded soon. Happy Olsen thoughts to you and your effacing cervix.

Here's To A Boring Year November 13, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Being a hippie you probably already know this, but Hypnobabies have an MP3 called “Baby Come Out!” – hypnosis to get things going with your Olsen.

I listened to it with mine, and if nothing else it was a great excuse to go nap for a half hour!!

Rachel B - Busy Mama November 15, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Awwww, so sweet. A little teary over here! I’m verklempt! Hang in there, mama. She’s coming. I know, it’s hell but it’ll be over before you know it.

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