knocked up

I say “vag” 30 times in this post and “Olsen twin” 4 times. Also I mspainted private parts. You’re warned.

November 7, 2012

I definitely took for granted last time that I didn’t have to go through the waitandsee bullshit of pregnancy. My water broke early and we were off. No, I don’t want that again, but this waiting and seeing is nonsense.

So today I had a midwife appointment and I let her “check me”. I originally said that is something I wouldn’t do. It’s not a reliable means of finding out if or when you are in labor. Or even if it will happen soon. But my situation is different. If my cervix doesn’t get off it’s lazy asshole and do SOMETHING soon, it’s c section time. So we checked.

And I didn’t sleep last night because of it. And I couldn’t eat breakfast. Because holycervixface, this is a big deal. And I was like B, are you nervous? And he’s like, about what? And I’m like, punch in your neck.

The poor midwife is like straight up *nervous* to stick her hand in my vag because I’m in tears and B is staring her down like, you better say something good or my life will be misery for 2 weeks. This was also the very first time her and my vagina met. So there were pleasantries exchanged like, nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you, etc.

So she checks.

And she’s making faces.

And she’s digging around.

And she’s like What’s that?


And she’s like, oh it’s nothing.

And she’s like ok. You’re 80% effaced but not dilated.

And she’s trying desperately to stick a finger in the cervix hole but it’s closed up tight.

So for those of you who don’t know (I didn’t). Effaced means that your cervix is getting thinner and softer. Dilation is when the tiny hole in your cervix starts to open up shop. I read that in pregnant women your cervix looks and feels like lips.

So this is what I picture my cervix to look like now. Warning, this is very graphic and accurate.

You know, like Olsen twin duck face lips. NOT opening.

What we need is this:

So that’s what we’re working on. Visualization of blow up dolls and the like. I read it or something.

The super good news is that worse case scenario, I will be induced on the 19th. But my midwife is confident that I will go into labor before then on my own. But she said “don’t quote me on the blog”. So I’m not quoting her on the blog. I’m just quoting her saying don’t quote me. Which I think is ok and allowed. Also yes, she reads the blog. I know….

But I’m feeling more positive and trying to stay that way for these reasons:

1) My water so far has not spontaneously ruptured. I’m a beaver dam for waters. Literally.

2) Effacement is good. It means stuff is happening and it makes me feel like I’m not broken.

3) I don’t have this looming imminent c-section threat hanging over my head anymore. No I don’t WANT to be induced, but I’ll take it if I have to.

4) I have an Olsen twin in my vag.

It’s getting close and I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m ready. Also a snow storm is coming. So Yoshe was probably waiting for that. Just to make things interesting.

Also my doula muscle tested me for baby names. Oh you don’t know what this is? It’s when you hold stuff and they see how your muscles respond. I held paper with baby names written on them. Apparently she HATES 2 of the names, LOVES 2 and won’t murder us in our sleep over 1 of them. Hippies are the best.

Ok there you go friends.

I will keep you posted. Almost go time.

Love to you and your Olsen.


PS Please start calling your vag an Olsen.




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  • Emily November 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Effacement is GREAT news! Good luck!

  • Jell Jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown November 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I’m sending your Olsen dilating juju.

  • Morgan November 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Effacement is awesome. The thinner it gets the easier it is to open. Go cervix, you’re doin it!!

  • Jen November 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Good luck with everything! Pleasantries. Ha ha ha!!!

  • Jamie November 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    My Olson twin never opened her mouth, even after trying to induce all night long she was locked up tight so I ended up having to have a c-section.

  • Minerva November 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I have been following you since your placenta eating post and even though I have no human children (just one 90lbs furry one), reading your pregnancy posts at times scare the crap out of my ovaries and other times makes me excited to buy all that baby stuff my future baby will probably NOT need!

    I think 11/11/12 sounds like a good date :)

  • tara November 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Hooray for effacement!

    Awesome on the name picking hippie love. I can’t wait to hear the name!

    Also, I’m totally going to call my vag Olsen from now on.

  • KamiKaze November 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Sending you good juju for labor, Modg!

    I’ve done the muscle test for allergies! I didn’t think you could do it with baby names, good to know for whenever I have a kid.

    Also, I wanted to tell you that I’m a failed Asian. I have IC like you and I actually have pain with almost everything I love to eat–so I had to give it up. Naturally, that means my mother’s Japanese foods. Sigh.

    Oh, has your IC gone into remission during your pregnancy? I heard that it can happen.

    • MODG November 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm

      My IC isn’t constant, I only get flair ups for very “specific” reasons and that reason is on hiatus

      • KamiKaze November 8, 2012 at 1:30 pm

        That’s great news! Mine is only constant if I’m constantly eating stuff that I’m not supposed to eat anymore. Otherwise, stress kills and moon time kills.

        I’m glad it’s on hiatus, hopefully mine will decide to do the same whenever I start trying to have a kid.

  • Ashley November 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Shit. balls. I just cried.

  • Janey November 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    My mom was an L&D nurse for many many years. She told me before my kid was born that dilation means nothing, it’s effacement that counts. Your cervix could open up super quick, but if it’s not effaced nothing is going to happen. Sounds like you’re in a perfect position.

  • Katia November 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    From my Olsen to yours – Don’t worry be happy. Apparently this is one of Michelle Tanner’s catch phrases on Full House. Yeah, I don’t have a life, but on a related note I also learned that someone just updated Joey Gladstone on Wikipedia 13 hours ago:

  • KMW November 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I’ve often thought my vag was named Mary-Kate.

    Here’s hoping your very own Mary-Kate has an “o” mouth soon – and before your snowstorm.

    Girls are so difficult and stubborn. My own YoSHE made my water break and then I didn’t dilate or anything. Had to have an emergency c-section because labour wasn’t starting and they didn’t want to put her through a prolonged inducement (her heart rate was way too high so it was for her safety). I’m praying for a VBAC for you MODG.

    Sparkle cervix

  • Amanda B. November 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Have you tried that iphone app that you put your prospective names into and then lay it on your belly and it cycles through the name and stops on the one the baby kicks at? Good fun. Also I don’t want to be the party pooper but I was 75% effaced and not dilated at all and I never did dilate–straight to C-Section time. Something about the cord around the shoulder, head not pressing on the cervix b.s. All that being said that wont happen to you!!!! Happy dilating!

  • Jess November 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Don’t fear the induction, girl! I had one and would choose to have one again this time. It was pure bliss. Scheduled a date and time, checked into the hospital, slept for a little while, started getting contractions, got an epidural (I know you’re a hippy and hippies don’t like epis, but I thought I was a hippy before I found the epi, too), and my boy came out after four minutes of pushing. The entire labor lasted less than 12 hours and most of it was spent watching Maury and Pinning. That being said, I’ve heard my share of horror stories. People tend not to brag on their good birthing experiences, though (another story for another day!), so I thought I would share. Peace and giant vag holes to you, my dear!

    • MODG November 7, 2012 at 7:36 pm

      I’m actually not opposed to an epidural. I really just care about getting the baby out the southern hole

  • Krista November 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    I was 80% and 0 cm the morning of my due date. ZERO signs of labor other than some minor BH contractions the day before. Sex (yest, that pesky sex again) that night after my other two went to bed and boom – – baby number 3 was born all of 6 hours later. Just give it up to B one last time before you have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the vag to do it again for awhile.

  • Meg November 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    Why do people insist on telling MODG their “sad I didn’t dilate I had a c-section” stories. Any good hippie knows you need to just send out positive vibes. Don’t fill her world with the negative shit. She doesn’t need to read about all your personal stories, just be positive for her, that’s what she needs at 39+wks.

    YAY MODG you can do it! So can your cervix, this is what your body was meant to do and it’ll happen! Can’t wait to hear when she’s born, waiting on pins and needles!

    • Leslie November 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

      Ditto to that. I was about to say the exact same thing. This is not the time for negativity!

    • KMW November 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

      I didn’t realize that having a c-section was a negative thing :( any time a beautiful baby is brought into this world it is a positive thing… just thought this was a forum for sharing. Didn’t mean to send “negative vibes” in any way :(

      • Morgan November 7, 2012 at 3:27 pm

        Easy killer… all they are saying is that MODG is hoping and trying to focus on a VBAC to avoid a repeat Csection. If you’ve been reading MODG for a while, you’d know that her previous journey to a csection was not all that glorious (beautiful baby aside), so she is hoping for a different experience this time around. That’s all.

        • KMW November 8, 2012 at 8:54 am

          My original comment above was wishing her a VBAC and a “sparkle cervix”. No negativity. Been reading MODG from the beginning and love her honesty.

  • Claire Kiefer November 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Hilarious. I admire how you’ve retained your wit & sarcasm even when about to explode with child. I hope she comes soon and is not, in fact, an Olsen twin!

  • Audrey November 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Good news about the effacement. Just try to relax. You’re not even at your due date yet, right? You will probably go later than your due date as most people do. I mean, I’m not one to talk really. My baby came at 39 weeks so I never even got to my due date, but I saw all the women in my birth class get to their due date (My baby was the youngest by 2-5months) and they were READY. Get this baby outta me. Doing all the spicy food, walking, sperm, tea, acupuncture, sweeping, castor oil, etc… After seeing how unhappy and stressed they each were approaching their due dates, I just lied to myself. I pushed my “due date” back 14 days. Because that is how long “they” will “let” you go. Though I knew if “they” wanted me to go to the hospital I didn’t have to show up if I didn’t want to. So thinking my baby wasn’t “due” till the end of January made it certainly easier to approach my due date. But, like I said, I never got there, so maybe I’m clueless on the stress getting there causes. But seriously…won’t you have a better few days/weeks if you just don’t stress about it so much? Just enjoy each day, and if it comes to the 18th and no labor, then stress out for a day if you need to. But really…your vagina/cervix/YoSHE have this. That little baby knows when she is done being in there and she will come out when she is good and ready. GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Also…I’m totally doing muscle testing for my next baby name. I’ve done it with other things but would have never thought to do it with baby names : )

    • Steph November 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      Sperm. Hahahah! I’m dying.

      One magical hippy to another: you got this shit!!!

  • K November 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    You can do it! Your cervix is going about her business. Have a beautiful vbac. you are almost there!

  • SoftCrunchyMom November 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Sending you open cervix vibes. Ina May the biggest hippie of them all says that your mouth mirrors your cervix so just keep your mouth and lips loose and you should be good!

  • Skooks November 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    You’ve got this . . . you can do this. You will do this. Or as Michelle Tanner would say, “You got it, dude!” Effacement is good. :)

  • Bryn @ Away at Home Mom November 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Oh man, I just want to give you a big hug. The waiting is so hard and the fear of c section suuuucks when you have been planning and hoping for everything to happen naturally. Effacement is great and 80% isn’t anything to scoff at! Open up Olsen lips; those twins can be so selfish.

  • jamie November 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    I was 2cm dilated for weeks and zero percent effaced when I went in at 39 weeks and my ob started discussing the date of possible induction. My water broke later that night. No sex, no pineapple, nothing. Baby just decided it was time. (That and I swear the vag exam helped) .
    Here’s to hoping Yoshe decides she wants out soon!

  • Sarah November 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Dilate Schmilate. The Effacement is where it’s at. Also, side note: I too was hatin’ on the thought of an induction with my second. Much to my surprise all it took was them breaking my fun bag… no pitocin, no pill up in my cervix biz, BAM baby in my arms 2.5 hours later. You got this!

  • Mary November 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I believe the last time you said getting check was painful and called it The Awful. I remember because I was terrified when it became my time for it. Thankfully, I didn’t feel a thing. Was it better for you this time around?

    Let’s go, cervix, let’s go! (clap, clap, clapclapclap!)

    • MODG November 7, 2012 at 7:37 pm

      it’s MUCH different to have your cervix checked in labor. THAT was painful with a broken bag of water. This was cake.

      • Sara from No Purple Walls November 7, 2012 at 9:57 pm

        I second that shit. I tried to prepare myself for the Awful after they broke my water, but fuck my balls. My doctor decided she wasn’t checking anymore of my shit or sticking a baby probe monitor thing up my parts until I had my epidural.

  • leslie November 7, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    wonderful! at my 39 week checkup with my kiddo I was only 1 cm dilated but very effaced and he came on his own right on his due date. so exciting! good luck!

  • Lori November 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Good chance the vag exam could move things along…worked for me…vag check and 8 hrs later had a baby…good luck!

  • Jonna November 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    yay! trying any natural induction methods? ask your hippies :)

  • Meredith November 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    I’ve heard so many negative things about inducing a VBAC mom (that the risk of uterine rupture is WAY higher with induction). What does your midwife say about it?? As a potential VBAC mom with my next pregnancy, I was told I either go on my own or it’s another c-section for me.

    • Shannon November 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      I’ve heard the same thing. I hope for a VBAC next time but I’ve heard the same, no inductions, either start on your own or another C-section. I’m also curious about what your midwife says about it?

      • MODG November 7, 2012 at 7:37 pm

        You know, this is actually the first I’m hearing about it. I know it’s regularly done with her. I’ll ask about it and let you know

        • MODG November 7, 2012 at 8:29 pm

          Read this
          Informative and credible. Tell your on to not be a wad

          • Beth November 7, 2012 at 10:50 pm

            I am actually in the same situation right now, MODG—I am hoping for a VBAC soon as well with my second child. I also was very surprised when you mentioned induction being an option. I know two ladies above have raised concerns, and I hope you don’t take this as a reader beating a dead horse, trying to scare you, or being negative. I just want to say that, being in the same situation as you, the practice I am going to (with 8 very pro-TOLAC/VBAC doctors plus 2 sparkly hippie midwives) absolutely will not give me an option of being induced, due to the possibility that a uterus—after a c-section—may not be able to withstand contractions brought about by induction. This rule (which seems to be consistent throughout the medical community) has been put in place because of their own personal experiences with assisting women attempting TOLACs, not because they desire to take away our chance of delivering vaginally. I am sure your midwife is amazing, and we both know the odds are very much in our favor for a wonderful VBAC experience where absolutely nothing goes wrong. But it may be wise to keep doing your research about this option (if it even comes to that) and maybe even get a second and third (outside) medical opinion.

          • MODG November 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm

            Did you fully read that article?
            Also see Annie’s comment below

  • kat November 7, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    crossing my fingers for you.

  • Lara @ It's A Girl Thing! November 7, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    I can’t wait for YoSHE to be here, and I can’t wait to hear her name! Your effacement is good, I say baby any day.

  • FOCIBON November 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    I just love hearing from you…you are awesome…that is all.

  • Brandy November 7, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    As a first time mom, I was pretty much nothing and nothing when checked at 40 weeks. I went into labor on my own at 40+3. I think you’re well on your way. You are NOT broken.

    And I’m hoping and hoping and hoping over here that you guys go with *THE NAME*

  • Annalisa November 7, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    When I had my 18 mo. old I was 3cm and 90% for almost 3 WEEKS! So, dilation means nothing! I’m also waiting for our baby #2 and this time the suspense of labor is killing me. I think it’s a combo of being home nearly immobilized with a toddler and sort of wanting the get the show on the road. The first time was like “when the baby’s ready…” and this time I’m setting a deadline. \

    I am really trying to enjoy quiet time now and savor alone time with my little girl — but it’s hard! Hang in there!

  • Stef November 7, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    You have no idea how much I needed a MODG post today – I went to the dr to be “checked” and almost cried when he said “well…you’re still only 1-2 dialated but your cervix is still pretty thick and baby is high” (Not on drugs – position…I felt the need to clarify). Glad to hear things are “moving” for you – I feel like you’re ahead of the game with the soft cervix. And as many others have mentioned with my son I was dialated for a month prior to giving birth so I say the cervix is really the key to this whole going into labor thing. Sending lots of positive cervix energy your way. C’mon YoShe we want to meet you already!

    (Wow, how many times can a person say cervix in a post???)

  • Megan November 7, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    I was never dilated or effaced at my almost due date appts and both my kids arrived early. Don’t sweat it!

  • Angie November 7, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Friend, I’m sending serious VBAC vibes straight to your Olsen. I had my NUVBAC a year ago yesterday. It changed my freakin’ life – I felt whole, like I’m not broken – it’s a super redemptive feeling after a c-section. Seriously, I hope things go well for you. I know they will, and I can’t wait to hear the story…and baby name. You rock.

  • Erin November 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    Fellow former TBC mom here. I had to take these pills to soften my cervix so I could be induced with my third (obvi at the hospital), his amniotic fluid had gotten too low at 39 weeks. Then they induced me with Pitocin and I had an epidural after a few hours. Labor was easy and he came out when I pushed with no pain. The first two I had natural, so I know the difference. If you do have to be induced, don’t stress too much and def get the epidural!

  • Carly November 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    I was told my cervix was “hard as a rock” (exactly what you want to hear at your 40 week appointment), no dilation, no effacement, and that the baby hasn’t dropped the day before my due date. I went into labor that night and had my baby the next day! Don’t be discouraged!!! Lots can change in a short time!! Good luck and can’t wait to hear the name!!

  • demi November 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    woohoo! things will get to moving SOON!!! when I was 80%, I started dilating a couple days later! I mean everyone is different-but this is truly great news. 😀

  • Lisa November 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    I had the same sort of stuff happen. Effaced but like 1-2cm after 5 hours of ctrx that petered out. Thankfully I was being all sorts of hippy and HBACing at home so my MW just left and said “see you tomorrow” all cheery while I was bawling my eyes out because at that point baby was 8 days overdue, 11 by LMP. So the next day I bought some castor oil and after spending an eventful few hours on the toilet flew through easy labor in like 1/2 hour and practically went straight into the pushing faze before she even got there. That part wasn’t easy, not gonna lie, baby girl was in a funkdified position, but she came out with some hard work! Best of luck landing your VBAC. Your body can do this!

  • Kris November 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I like to call them Biebers, I think it’s more fun than Olsen, please consider.

    • Gracie November 8, 2012 at 2:38 pm

      I call it my Hunan House. …

  • Sam November 7, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    There are a couple of websites that are really cool and would encourage you with this VBAC. (talks about all kinds of births and is hippy-ish) (this one is all things birth and baby)

    Birth without fear is on Pinterest and Banned From Baby Showers is on Facebook. Hope they’re helpful to you!

    Fyi, I’m not paid or sponsored by either of these guys, in fact they don’t even know I’m writing this :)

  • Katie E. November 7, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Ok, I am from a family of baby factories, but what has happened with my cervix is that I would efface fully and then dilate from oh…1-10 in an hour. Freaked out my OBGYN. Good luck with Olsen and baby!

  • Harbormom November 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm


  • Denise November 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Don’t fear induction, I was induced 3 weeks early due to preeclampsia and I was terrified of having a C section but everything progressed wonderfully and I was able to have my baby through the vag.

  • colleen November 7, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    so excited for you!!! sending good wishes your way for before the 19th!

  • Laura C November 7, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    Don’t despair! I went into labor the DAY BEFORE my EDD. It was pretty high stress too, though not VBAC high stress, bc I had PIH and the mw’s were all, we’re inducing on your due date, and I willed myself into labor, I swear. I had ZERO progress, no mucous plug loss or weird early labor stuff. And then magic! It happened!

    (I pooped a lot for two days before it started. One of the mw’s got super-excited about this and said it was a sure sign. She was right. So, watch for the pooping.)

  • Teresa November 7, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Hopefully things will start to happen for you soon.

  • Lydia November 7, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    I had a cervix check (die) at 40 weeks and was told by my OB that I wasn’t dilated or progressing at all and would definitely have to be induced in 5 days. went home and peed, blood in the toilet – called my OB who assured me it was a side effect from the exam. Took my sister, parents, and assorted friends out for Mexican food, and I stuck to water while they downed margaritas because hey, I was going to be pregnant for another 5 days. Dropped all the drunk asses off and crawled into bed, only to have 2 huge contractions and then my water broke. Woke up tequila-soaked husband who had to call my aunt to drive us to the hospital, where I pushed an 8 lb baby out of the southern hole. So if you can get drunk people to make you laugh until you pee out your mucus plug, do it. Peace and Olsens.

  • AttachedMama November 7, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    Ditto to the whole ‘cervix tells you nothing’. My cervix did the whole effacing before dilating thing – when I was checked in early labour I was 2-3cm and 90%. My Doula was like ‘don’t sweat it effacement is where its at’. The midwife left cos she thought it would be a while.

    My waters broke like half an hour later and baby’s head pressing on a skinny cervix = baby. He was out 3 hours later. So that’s 3cm to baby in no time flat.

    Go Olsen!

  • Jennah November 7, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    wait…hold stuff with WHAT?!!?

  • Meagan @megs7827 November 8, 2012 at 12:12 am

    Vaginas are clearly confusing and unpredictable. Are you walking 5 mikes a day and having sex? That got my baby out. Maybe stressing about it is keeping that Olsen duck face. Are you going to try any of the stuff you did with G to get your water to break? Having to wait 5 days past my due date after my dr teasing me with oh you are 1-2 at 38 weeks was hell. I was convinced the baby was never coming out and that I had some freak baby looking tumor. Now it is my job to tell everyone the babies come out and we forget all the pre stress because they are so cute!

    Now tell me about these doulas telling me what name my baby likes. How much does that cost? Can I pay you to do it? I am intrigued by the iPhone app but also am in no way leaving my child’s name up to an app!

  • Kim November 8, 2012 at 12:16 am

    Love your blog!! I had a c/s delivery with my daughter. She and I were both healthy (after a little rough patch w/ me) and I wouldn’t change the mode of delivery for that outcome. Sure, a vaginal delivery would have been an amazing experience but becoming a mother was amazing within itself (no matter the route of delivery). It is quite sad to think that someone would feel as if they are broken if she can not birth a baby vaginally. You are anything but broken! Growing and housing a baby for 40+ weeks proves that you are not broken. I hope that you get the labor and delivery experience that you’re hoping for. But, most of all I wish health & happiness for both you and your baby girl-no matter how she enters the world.

  • Katie C November 8, 2012 at 7:24 am

    I was also curious about being induced. Someone mentioned the cervical bulb a few days ago and you discussed it’s risks. The bulb, or breaking the water, are two relatively safer ways of inductions, since they are manual and not medicines. Your nurses are rockstars and will watch very closely for any potential problems, so trust in them, trust your body and let that midwife work her magic!

  • Lisa @bitesforbabies November 8, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I can’t stop laughing right now!!! Your “diagrams” seem very “accurate!” I wonder if I should ask my doctor when I go for my visit tomorrow if she sees my Olsen lips dilated?! lol! Btw, good luck!!!

  • Annie November 8, 2012 at 9:55 am

    MODG, I am happy for you! And I am going to speak up on the induction thing…I am a midwife. A nurse-midwife, catch-babies-in-hospitals, type of midwife. Like your midwife. At our practice we do VBACs, and we have a great success rate–85% of women seeking VBAC in our practice succeed. If it can happen without induction, great, and I agree with many of the others: it’s not all about dilation, it’s about effacement/softening, *nothing* tells you when labor will happen, and it is really really hard to wait. Using Pitocin for induction does increase risk, which is why your midwife isn’t planning to use it anytime soon. However, it can work, and it is not a recipe for disaster. The website that you posted above on that topic is good, and exactly how we would proceed, and how your midwife is proceeding. Induction a good first-line plan? No. Reasonable option if the alternative is an automatic C/S? YES.

    My opinion (not like you really asked) is that something happened last time causing your water to release before it was supposed to, or before your body was ready to go. Then you had to deal with all those difficult contractions that did not even open you up, because your body was not ready. You are doing the right thing. You are *waiting for it to be ready.* When it is really ready, it will work much better, and you and your midwife are working together, waiting together patiently, for that to happen. It sounds like last time your body did not even have a chance to show you what it could do–it didn’t even get started opening before you had your Cesarean! So don’t feel broken, don’t feel like it won’t work, because it never had the chance (for reasons beyond your control) to show you its awesomeness. Wait, trust your midwife, and trust your body to do its thing. Even if you end up doing an induction, trust that sometimes, wisely applied, a little intervention is the pathway to the vaginal birth that you want. And try not to freak out…cervixes do not like freaking out. They relax better when you are relaxed and knowing you are OK. And you are.


    PS. And also, vag exams in labor are not actually supposed to be that terrible. I don’t know what the deal was with you the first time that made it so hard, but in labor, the cervix is much softer, closer, easier for the midwife to reach, and there is much less digging about. Usually the ones pre-labor are worse, and you already said that was a piece of cake! So not to worry–you can do it.

    • Morgan November 8, 2012 at 11:09 am

      Where are you a midwife? I think I love you.

    • MODG November 8, 2012 at 1:20 pm

      Thank you so much for this

    • Steph November 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      You are like a magical unicorn!!! I love you…please sprinkle me with your awesome.

    • Leyna November 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Annie! Seriously, where do you practice? Your blog comment is about the most sensible and informative thing I’ve read and heard regarding VBACs since I had my c-section almost 4 years ago and immediately started researching VBACs. If I could steal you for my upcoming February due date I TOTALLY would!!!

      MODG–how far overdue are you “allowed” to go? I’m curious about your midwife’s judgment call as to where/when to draw the line between wait-and-see and induction to avoid a repeat.

    • Annie November 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

      I work at a small private practice near St. Paul, Minnesota.

      • KT November 10, 2012 at 4:34 pm

        Annie, I live in St. Paul–which clinic/practice? Not looking for myself anytime soon, but it’s always good to have a good place in mind, especially as friends and my sister are having babies. Thanks!

  • Elizabeth November 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    You’ve totally got this! Just saw my midwife for the first time this morning; hoping for a VBAC in June. She was so encouraging and made it seem totally doable, because IT IS. Her thoughts on induction were the same as Annie’s: not ideal, but an option that could and does work just fine for many women. I don’t think it’s anything to be afraid of; they know what they’re doing! Sounds like your cervix is right where it’s supposed to be and will open just in time for YoSHE to make the perfect entrance into the world. We are all rooting for you, minus the small amounts of negativity posted here and tbere. You would think ppl would get a clue that at this point you and all us other VBAC hopefuls don’t want to hear your horror stories! Anyway, best of luck and can’t wait to hear all about it!

  • Gracie November 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Sending you major good VBAC vibes, MODG! You can do it! Can’t wait to hear YoSHE’s name and hear your fabulous successful VBAC story.

  • Anna November 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    I really just don’t want any more babies.

    Good luck MODG. xx

  • Melissa November 8, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    You’ve got this MODG! I was faving my VBAC “deadline”, was checked and was told that my cervix was maybe a cm dilated but thick and posterior, OB told me that there was no way I was having a baby any time soon and that he would see me at my induction that Monday……decided that I would rather take castor oil than have a RCS, downed some castor oil at 8 PM, woke up in labor at 3, got to the hospital at 6 am at 6 cm , and by 2 pm was holding my VBAC baby, nary a tear or a complication.

    My next birth was a HBAC and after my water broke and no contractions after 24 hours we again induced with castor oil. Worked like a charm, again. That stuff is magic, for me, anyway.

    Good luck to you friend. YOu have a wonderful midwife and a great support team. Have faith in your body….only piece of advice I would give you is to try to enjoy these last days of pregnancy and your last days with just G ~ his life is about to change forever ~ rather than stress so much about when labor will start ~ I felt that my fear about labor NOT starting was actually tensing me up so much and working against the magic happening. Like stress =vag clamp or something. More hippy shit, but when I decided to just let go and truly enjoy the ride as with a HBAC I wasn’t facing a deadline, (in my third pregnancy) I had a super enjoyable end of pregnancy and my water broke in the middle of the night :)

  • Jeanne' November 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Holy bat balls it is excruciating that last few weeks of pregnancy. In fear of another c-section the last time I think I pretty much had the hubby scared to even come home at night. Every night there was some weird random “This will make you go into labor” thing to do. (Of course nothing worked.)

    I feel your pain! Hope the little one comes soon!

  • Rachel B - Busy Mama November 9, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Fuckin’A, you’re KILLING ME, Smalls! I guess I need to kegel more often because apparently when I laugh this hard, I still leak pee. Olson twin vagina…. Jeez. Congrats on 80% effacement! That’s great!

  • Veralynn @ Joie de V November 10, 2012 at 1:55 am

    I know your body will do its thang! I doubted mine completely as I went all the way to 42 weeks and wound up giving birth the day before my induction (my water broke by itself but didn’t do the Niagara Falls business) . Having read your blog prior to labor and reading about The Awful had me pretty freaked out but I was checked during labor pre-epidural and there was only “totes-uncomfy-how-you’ve-got-your-hand-up-my-Olsen”, not anything super cray.

    Two things:

    1) Have you ever listened to a HypnoBabies mp3? It’s not even (that) weird- just really calming and relaxing. Let me know and I will email any and all you want to download. Super helpful even if you only listen to it once, but I listened to them all.the.time between 38 and 42 weeks and during the first hours of labor.

    2) Maybe print out Annie’s comment and just keep it with you whenever you are freaking out. She is totally right. Think about how awesome it is that you’re effacing exactly the right way! I wasn’t dilated even a centimeter before labor actually started, and then BAM. It will happen when it’s time for your beautiful baby girl to make her appearance!


  • Liz November 10, 2012 at 4:49 am

    Hi MODG I have been reading your blog for years and have always loved your posts! I have never commented though but the VBAC topic is so near and dear to my heart that I couldn’t help it! I had 2 previous c-sections before my successful VBA2C in June. Both my babies were big (8.14 and 9.10) and after 2 failed TOLACs the doctors all said that I am just too small to have my big babies naturally. I can completely understand how emotional it is when you are attempting a VBAC and you want so badly for labor to start on its own. They finally scheduled a c-section at 41 weeks and I was devastated. I went in the day before for my pre-op procedures and just cried the whole time. The poor nurses didn’t know what to do! I wanted soooo badly to have a VBAC and it looked like it wasn’t going to happen for me. Well, when I went in the next day for my scheduled cs I was feeling contractions so I had them check me and I was 3 cm. So I insisted on laboring. It was so hard though because the doctors were all trying to convince me to have the c-section. My hubby was able to stand up for me and insisted that I atleast be allowed to try for a VBAC. Well within a few hours my labor stalled and I was given pitocin. We insisted that they give me a very low dose. After 24 hours of labor and having to refuse them breaking my water and raising the pitocin I gave birth to my 3rd son who was 8lbs 8 ounces. I think the reason I was able to do it was I listened to my body and was very firm on what interventions I wanted. So, for me, pitocin worked great and I was able to limit how much they gave me which allowed me to have my VBAC without an epi. For me, not having the epi was important so that I could remain upright and out of bed for as long as possible. You can do this!!! You have educated yourself, so use that information and also use your intuition as to what feels right. I fully believe that you will soon be able to say you had the VBAC you wanted! I will also be sending open Olsen vibes your way! But you don’t need them- you got this all on your own!!

  • Cheryl November 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    I never comment, but have been lurking since forever. Like still just a little pregnant with G.

    Anyway, dilation seriously means nothing. All it does is make you anxious, like “is tomorrow the day?” Or “is that cramp labor?!” Because it makes you THINK you’re close, but you’re not. Effacement is awesome, though. I was 4cm dilated for a MONTH with my second (she was 5 weeks old Thursday). I stayed that way until I was induced, and a tiny bit of pitocin took me from 4-1o in just 7 hours. I had to be induced with my first, too, but was only 1cm with him. Some people just need a little nudge to get things going, and it’s totally ok. I hope everything goes smoothly and both you and Yoshe are healthy at the end!

  • Jessica November 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I thought it was unsafe to induce if you’ve previously had a c-section. Not trying to scare you, just want you to make sure you’re safe. Effacement is awesome though!

    • Morgan November 12, 2012 at 1:27 pm

      Read several comments above.. specifically from Annie.

  • Rachael November 13, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    Hi MODG! I just found your blog and love you already. I totally feel your v-bac pain! I had my third c-section earlier this year and it was a total bummer. If you want to read the birth story it’s here

    The end of pregnancy is the worst!