Yes I’m still pregnant. I’m still VERY pregnant. Not because I’m 38 weeks pregnant. But because I’m 5’2” and growing a 29 year old Khloe Kardashian inside of me. Body hair and all. When this child inches to the left, I pee my pants. When she inches to the right, I choke on my digested lunch.
As the CEO in the business of worrying about nothing, I am now focused to getting this baby to drop. Note: don’t google dropping baby. BAD. But here’s the deal: with a VBAC you need to dilate, even a little all on your own before you can have pitocin. Now I don’t WANT pitocin, but worry girl tells me that I’m not going to go into labor on my own and may need it. Pitocin only works if you have a ripe cervix (which is a nasty term. It’s not a plum). And to get that cervix ripe, baby needs to drop it down low low low. And she is perfectly happy where she is. What has dropped? A whole family of butt nuts. They are ripe and ready to be picked. SICK.
OH the Big Boy Room. If you follow me on facebook, you know that I promised a big boy room reveal this week. Due to a lighting situation, that may not happen until Monday. Yes, a lighting situation. It’s a thing. Ask people who know things.
B and I are reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Can anyone tell me why the girl in the pictures is naked all the time? Like, “here is a woman in pre-labor, eating a snack. She is naked”. “here is a woman watching TV, she is naked”. I have said it before and I’ll say it again. I will not be naked during birth. No one wants that. NO ONE.
Things that are good right now:
American Horror Story. Yes and thank you yes.
Baking everything on Pinterest ever.
Toddler naps. Always and 4ever.
Pumpkin anything. No I’m not over it.
Things that blow right now:
Pants. All of them. All the time.
Convincing G to change his diaper like ever
So look for the next post to come soon which will feature the Big Boy Room, which I’m actually excited about and would be on the good list.
And to those of you who always think I’m in labor when I don’t post, I promise, I will post when I go into labor. Even if it’s just a one liner, I’ll let you all know that the door is opening.
For being so patient, I have a super awesome giveaway for you from one of our sponsors Alphabitty. They are the cutest company that does custom name art for kids or really weird adults I guess too. They are hand painted and totally customized to the child’s interests. So like, if your kid is like totally into Black Sabath, they can paint that shit up for you all death style. This would be such a cute shower gift too. I can say from personal experience that they are great to work with and really nice people too. But the best news is that they are giving away a print to a reader. So to enter, leave a comment and tell me your kid’s weird interests. I won’t commit you to choosing that for your print, I really just want to know weird stuff. I’ll pick a winner before the big boy room post.