I'm funny

My unborn child is a reckless bad ass with blue tooth and an attitude. And I’m in no mood.

September 30, 2012

Hello friends. It’s been a spell, hasn’t it? I however can no longer take responsibility for my body or it’s actions. I declare that this 3rd trimester will somehow, someway get me onto at least the local news, if not Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. Let me explain.

Lest you not forget (I ALWAYS WANTED TO USE LEST), I have had a baby before. But hear me now women, it doesn’t matter even one tiny shit bit. You’d think I’d know what I was in for. You’d think I would know what I signed up for. But you know what? I didn’t. I just didn’t. And I take 97% responsibility off my shoulders. Because non first babies get into your lady parts and are like, “aw shit, this place is a mess. It’s all  lived in and foul. Guess I can trash the place and it doesn’t matter”. Because baby 2 does.not.give.a.shit. Baby 2 is like I WILL MAKE YOU GAIN 60 LBS. I WILL MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP AT THE STOVE. I WILL THEN LET THAT BE THE ONLY SLEEP YOU GET FOR 3 DAYS AND NIGHTS. I WILL USE YOUR BLADDER AS A TRAMPOLINE. I WILL OWN YOU.

(my baby also uses one of those lame blue tooth ear pieces.)

And you are totally helpless to their rude behavior. They signed the lease fair and square. They paid first and last month’s rent. All you can do is hold their security deposit when they leave. But they are babies and don’t even have wallets. So what the hell do they care? And this is my point women: THEY DON’T CARE.

So what I’m trying to tell you all, is this: I have a full 6 weeks left (possibly 7). I am definitely bigger than I was at delivery with G. I’m assuming that I’m either growing a mutated watermelon with feet or a 15lb baby inside of me. Both I truly feel are real possibilities. Either way, I’m planning on calling the good people at Guinness (not the beer, the book) and inviting them to my delivery (although the beer people may be more appreciated). But I believe shit will get real in there. I believe that whatever comes out of me will drop jaws.

G says to me daily, “Mommy biiiiig”. Yes, mommy is big. He continues “Belly sooooo big”. Yeah dude, I get it, but way to rub it in. And in yoga class tonight a new girl shows up. I hear her chatting in the back as I pass out on my mat. She says she has only 10 weeks left. I’m like, thank god another big girl in my spot. She walks in and looks like she maaaaybe ate 2 hamburgers. And it looks like I’m actually her surrogate. I said, “hi, I hate you”. And those were the only words that I spoke to her. I need an intervention.

I do not know how I’m psychically, mentally or emotionally going to make it SIX MORE WEEKS. I literally can not cry at one more Honey Boo Boo commercial. And no, I can not explain that. I can’t walk up the stairs one more time and I can not sleep one more night until 4am and then just “hang out” until it’s time to get up. But like I said, we both signed this lease and we’re in this till the end.

I do not know how much I’ll be around here from now until November 11th or 12th or millionth. I don’t know if I can physically hold my body up in this poop chair any longer. But I’ll try and check in so you know I didn’t float myself down a river never to be found again.

And if one single one of you leave me a comment about how ungrateful I am for my pregnancy and baby and I am offending beer drinking babies everywhere, I will literally squeeze a hemorrhoid out of you with my bare hands. I will love the shit out of the baby WHEN IT’S OUT OF MY BODY. For now, we’re just working through our issues.

help me rhonda,

the 3rd MODGmester




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  • Beer Drinking Baby September 30, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    I’m offended.

    • Kass September 30, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      Hahahaha hilarious.

    • Molly October 1, 2012 at 11:30 am


  • Jes b September 30, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    MODG I’m right there with you- baby 2 is kicking the crap out of my insides and every night I try to sleep and my hips hurt and then as I fall back asleep baby 2 starts jumping on my bladder. I’ve got 3 weeks to go and am hoping this kid decides to come a week early!!! This is natures way of making us want to go throught the torture of child birth I guess… Because 10 weeks ago I was like “nah I’m not going to have this baby- it hurts too much. Baby can just stay inside” but baby, you are not welcome to stay here anymore!!!!!!

  • Melissa N September 30, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Honesty is the best policy, MODG. Props to u for not pretending it’s all unicorns, glitter & sparkles. And I gotta say it’s b/c you are having a girl…nothing but drama from girls, even before the pop out!

  • leslie September 30, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    this is the best thing ever. I mean, not for you I guess. kinda sucks for you. But I bet you this baby will get all her drama out in the womb and be super chill and happy and sleep through the night at 3 weeks and like, start cleaning toilets for you at 6 months or something, I don’t know.
    hang in there mama!

  • KT September 30, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    First, I feel so bad for you and how horrible you’re feeling! Second, I am laughingly feeling a bit sorry for this child in about 16 years…with all of this horrible pain you’re documenting on the internet, which of course never forgets, you will be able to tell her all about what you went through for her without forgetting a detail when you’re dealing with teenage girl angst. :) Thinking of you, lady, and I hope she shows up a bit early to put you out of your misery!

  • Heather September 30, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    If you have a 3rd, hear me now. It sucks worse. Yes, even worse than #2 (which by the way I haven’t done in a week). I have no earthly idea how women do this –voluntarily–over and over again.

    • Lisa October 1, 2012 at 8:57 am

      YES!! My first was a preemie, so when I went a tad overdue with my 2nd I was all “Eh, whatevs, I feel good!”. My 3rd, I was like “I’M SO DONE GET THIS KID OUT NOW I HATE YOU ALL”.

  • samantha September 30, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    I <3 you MODG

  • eve September 30, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    I know this isn’t hippie-friendly advice, but my dr recommended tylenol pm (or OTC non-habit forming sleep aid) during 3rd tri when I wasn’t sleeping longer than an hour or so at a time. I also took baths (and I NEVER take baths, EVER) but they totally relax you like no shower can, and calm down uterus parties and/or aches too. I had to force myself to set aside enough time (I find baths boring), but I swear I slept better. 34 weeks down! Well done!

  • Megsie September 30, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    #2 is trying to break my back, eject my intestines out of my throat, get me as sleep-deprived as possible before he/she arrives, and kill me with brain tumor-esque headaches. Or at least that’s what it feels like. I should be grateful, yeah, blah blah blah, but I still feel terrible approximately 23 hours a day. All while caring for my 13 month old who currently has a fractured wrist and therefore has decided walking is scary and crawling hurts too much, so being carried 12 hours a day is the only way to go. I’m with you. Vent away.

    • Leigh September 30, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      Megsie, my son fractured his arm when he was 14 months and just on the cusp of walking, setting us back for almost a month until he finally really walked without fear. I know what you’re going through and hope it improves soon!

      • Megsie October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

        Thanks–that gives me some hope that we’ll get through this!

  • Susan September 30, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    We will all just be out here in the www cheering you on!!!! You can do it!!! :)

  • Laura September 30, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    I’m 24 weeks preggers and I’m already getting rib jabs from itty bitty #2! Like, I swear I was practically full term with my last one before I started getting them! I was kneeling today and had to stop for a breather. I seriously don’t remember ANY of this with my first! (or at least not so dang early!) I’m totally fearing the third trimester.

  • Theresita September 30, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Dude if it makes you feel any better…I’m just fat, and not carrying a watermelon, or an amazing drinking baby with a blue tooth! I don’t cry watching Honey Boo Boo, I use her mom as inspiration on the treadmill, and after I’m done doing that I stuff my face with cookie butter! ( eff you Trader Joe’s for making me addicted) I fully allow you to be grumpy, and hope these next few weeks fly by! I love hearing your rants and raves! Keep on trucking doll the lease is almost up!

  • Andrea September 30, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I totally get you. I am some amount of time pregnant with baby 2, like twenty four weeks? I don’t really know because I’m pretty sure the baby is growing by eating my brain. I can’t remember anything. I also feel giant, have trouble bending over, throw up every day, and get winded walking up the stairs. I hate you a little bit bc you are closer to being done than I am. I’m also hoping for a vbac and was told to try not to gain too much weight and exercise every day, psh.

  • Angie September 30, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    I wish I had this post to link to back when I was pregnant with my second. The child who was 9 pounds 6 ounces. The child who had me asking if I was due any day with twins….when I was only 28 WEEKS! Dear Lord. I wanted to say “I hate you” to all those people. Hang in there. Can’t say it’ll get better, but at least you’re nearer to the end.

  • Stef September 30, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    My #2 must watch Jersey shore because he or she is fist pumping like it’s a Friday night. I too feel like shit 20 of the 24 hours a day. And the remaining 4 are spent peeing. My 2 year old can’t figure out why I can’t carry him all the time and also why I cry more then he does. I agree the next 7 weeks cannot go fast enough

  • Bryn @ Away at Home Mom September 30, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    So so sucks to be going through such a rough preg time. When I was preg everyone was having their babies before me including the people that were due a month AFTER me. I went 16 days past the due date. Yeah that’s over 42 weeks pregnant which is like 10.5 months if you ask me. I complained A LOT. A Lot.

  • JP September 30, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    31 weeks preg and I feeeeeeeeel you, sister. I made my husband read this because, hilariously, it is exactly what I’ve been telling him all weekend. How am I supposed to make it 9 more weeks?? Christ have mercy.

  • Kristie C September 30, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    That was my #3. He use to practice his ninja kicks on my frackin’ ribs.

  • Mary September 30, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    I’m going to bookmark this post to remind me what a second pregnancy is like. My first was so unfun and the birth — holy shitballs do I not want to do that again. But I’m assuming my mommy brain is going to forget all about the ills of pregnancy and horror of birth when my baby is a year or two and I get all “Awww…. newborn babies are the best. I should have another one.” F that. She can be a spoiled only child.

    • Desiree October 1, 2012 at 9:30 am

      Amen sister! This post right here is why I’m One And Mothafuckin Done!!

  • Nwright October 1, 2012 at 12:27 am

    Amanda, you think thats bad, try carrying twins! They induced me at 38 weeks and I was measuring a whopping 48 weeks. Only perk to that was it was the easiest labor and delivery ever. A nurse walked in at 9 cms and asked how my epidural was taking. I said I think you have the wrong room cuz I never got an epidural, but I feel fine. And each twin came out with one push. But seriously, all pregnancies and labors are different…and for me they all got better, though I did have sciatic nerve pain with my second but it never really happened again with my other pregnancies. Alot of times I felt better with subsequent pregnancies (though having to be prego with twins and take care of the other 4 kiddos was challenging). Just don’t get discouraged. This pregnancy might be hard, but labor and delivery could be a breeze. And if you get pregnant in the future, doesn’t mean you will feel like this again either. It could get easier. So take hope and push through these last few weeks. You will feel sucky and emotional but it will all be worth it sister!

    • Rosie October 1, 2012 at 1:53 pm

      I’m seriously glad to read this comment – I’m on pregnancy #3 and just found out at 29w5d that we’re having twins! But this pregnancy has been a lot easier than my first, although harder than my second. Glad to know at least SOMEBODY has had an easy delivery with twins!

      Maybe you’re getting all the hard stuff out of the way with pregnancy #2 so that you can have easy times with any other subsequent pregnancies?

      • rae October 1, 2012 at 2:36 pm

        how does a second baby just appear at 30 weeks? no ultrasounds? i am intrigued

      • Nwright October 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

        Rosie, I have been pregnant 5 times and never got an epidural with any so I know what the pain of l&d feels like, and it was so weird because I literally just felt pressure and discomfort until 9cms! No transition pain! But I never let them break my water until the very end and actually the second baby came out still inside his amniotic sac…under water! So cool. So I really think keeping the water intact helps cushion the pain. And I also had them stop the pitocin at an 8 when my contractions were coming regularly. So if you are induced, just let them give you enough pitocin to get labor going…do not let them keep jacking it up just to speed the process up. Also, the twins weighed 5lbs 15oz. And 6lbs 7 oz…that is like a full pound less than my smallest baby…so it helped so much in lessening the pain of delivery. I was so fearful of labor with twins but as it turns out, no need for it! I hope things go as well for you with yours. Just don’t let them scare you into unnecessary interventions. Having twins does not have to be twice as hard!

  • colleen October 1, 2012 at 6:44 am

    sorry MODG – i hope it’s six weeks and not seven for your sake.

  • Katie R-G October 1, 2012 at 7:18 am

    I hit the 200 lb mark at my last midwife appt. this kid fucking owns me. I am out of breath just walking to the bathroom. I want to stab everyone at work because they are annoying. My 23 month old wants to be held 24/7. My 9 year old broke her wrist last Wednesday. I pee myself if I breath too hard. Complain away. I’m only 28 weeks with my 3rd, and was always one of those “People are assholes for complaining and wishing their pregnancy would just be done and everyone know it takes 10 months to cook a baby so stop whining” kinda bitches. And yesterday I had a breakdown and seriously didn’t think I could handle being pregnant anymore. I just want to sleep until labor. And I want a beer.

  • Jen October 1, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Why is your baby not drinking a miller lite instead of a Bud?? I thought B was the father. I think you may need to update your art work for accuracy sake. Amen.

  • Rachel October 1, 2012 at 8:17 am

    UGH. I actually liked being pregnant until about a week ago when I hit 34 weeks. Since then, my body has slowly melt into a puddle of pain and righteous indignation at being (ab-)used by future baby, and my brain just repeats “MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING.” in scream mode. Let’s not talk about how I woke up at 5:30 this morning to PUT AWAY LAUNDRY before I headed off to work where I’ll sit for 9 hours.

    The good news is that this shit will end. And soon-ish!

  • my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you October 1, 2012 at 8:46 am

    it’s girl babies. they rob you of everything. forever.
    make sure your doula/midwife massages the shit out of your taint.

    • Shannon October 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

      so true.

  • Megan October 1, 2012 at 10:03 am

    OOOHHHH, it certainly does suck. I could never understand these women who would be like, “I feel so GOOD pregnant”. Really? Piss off!!! As if!!!! With #2 every time I stood up I had to pause before I could move and let my cervix adjust because I just felt at any moment that he would fall out, there was so much uncomfortable pressure. Of course, pushing him out reminded me that there was not the LEAST danger of him falling out, but whatevs. Hang in there, girl. You’re good.

  • Christa October 1, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Hang in there MODG! I’m very glad to see the beer drinking baby hasn’t sucked the funny out of you.

  • Katie E. October 1, 2012 at 10:33 am

    (I’m about to be REALLY SOUTHERN for a second) Oh honey…bless your heart. I don’t know if you are down with the Jesus and all, but I will be praying for you and your family. Second babies are harder, if for no other reason than you can’t rest like you did when you were carrying the first. I was the white trash tragedy of pregnant bartender, then waitress with my first baby (born 6 months after college graduation) go ahead and judge a little, it deserves a little judgement. The point is the first pregnancy was easy peasy, and the second pregnancy was horrid (6 months of bed rest and lots of other fun things). The only thing that madet things better the second go round was the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy my older brother would come and help out a few days of the week. And he is awesome so he would do the housework, and take care of our then 4 year old, and keep me stocked with Sonic ice. He is also a highly entertaining person who kept my husband sane, since this was the hubs’ first baby. Maybe you can have someone come in one day out of the week to give you a hand? I don’t know if you guys are into church, or if they do this up North (yeah, it’s like a different country) but down here usually during your last bit of pregnancy different people from your church will come and help out, and then keep it up for a few weeks after you have the baby. My best advice is to reach out to the people you do know and love. Reach out to your peeps in PA, and tell them to come get G, come mop your floor, come wash your dishes, come let you nap. Good luck.

  • Megan C October 1, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Amen and amen. 3rd trimester- 4 weeks to go. Dying inside.

  • Shannon October 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

    bluetooth reference=literal pee in pants (I never did my Kegels, truth.)

  • Cyn October 1, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Awesome. Totally awesome. And if anyone is offended, just wait til they DO get preggers… then they will understand. They WILL understand.

    I remember walking… and walking… and walking in my last 3 weeks. I should also mention it was outside, through 3 feet of snow and a balmy 10 degrees out. Jussayin, the last month 4-6 weeks are so miserable, you will do things you never thought you’d sign up for JUST TO GET THE BABY OUT!

  • Elise October 1, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I thank you for your honesty. There’s a few blogs I follow who’s first children are around the same age as G and my own son and they are all rainbows and unicorns and hey look at my super perfect first child and now I’m having a second perfect child and look at how well dressed and perfect I am minutes after birth. Puke. I can’t even clean my house and there’s a bug crawling on my bulletin board right next to my head and I’m not pregnant and I only have one crazy toddler and I am so not having another until the crazy subsides a bit. I try to hang out with people who’s children are worse behaved than my own so I can feel good about myself. So bring it on!

  • Jessica October 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

    dear lord. i so felt like this before my baby. and she was my first. and she was a small baby. but any time i said anything about how i just wanted my freaking bady back people would look at me like i was an ungrateful and terrible person. then the baby comes. and i love the crap out of her. but sometimes i just think, how long do i have until this kid grows up and moves out so i can have a minute to myself again? and how is it that we insane people decide to do it all over again with another one?

  • Gracie October 1, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Best.MS Paint.Ever.

  • Jess October 1, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    So my friend and I have this theory (and it’s been proven solid many MANY times)…. the easier the pregnancy the harder the baby is after it’s born. I had a horribly tough pregancy and my infant was amazing (great sleeper, eater, etc…); same with my friend for 2 of her children. The 3rd was the complete opposite (easy pregnancy, tough baby).

    • leslie October 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      oh God bless you for saying this. I so hope it is true.

  • The Reset October 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    I’m 24 weeks with #2, loved being pregnant with my first and so far second, and really couldn’t complain. Until yesterday. HOW ARE MY ANKLES SWELLING ALREADY? RIDDLE ME THAT! sigh. vent on, modg. no judgies.

  • Amanda October 1, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my first and this child has taken up residence in my rib cage. I’ve bruised a rib before and this is about a million times worse. Not to mention my child appears to be on a 24/7 sugar high- mind you I cut out caffeine and cut down on my sugar intake- but yet the child still parties in there like it’s 1999. I feel your pain and am literally counting down the days until the baby is here and I can reclaim my body and no longer feel like a robot.

  • Brandi October 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Maybe it’s “having a girl thing.” It seems as though most of my friends who have had girls and boys, had a much harder pregnancy than with the boys. I guess girls start being drama-filled in the womb.

  • Meg October 1, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Oi. I will need to re-read this when it comes to talk about having kid #2. Right now I have about 5-6 weeks to go with #1 and I am SO OVER being pregnant. So I guess I can commiserate on some level with you. I hope the time goes quickly for you!

  • Erica October 1, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    You are amazing!! Thank you for deciding that I am NOT having another baby… ok maybe I will but for now… just maybe drink alot of guiness and sleep for six or seven weeks straight! That will be fine right? Yoshe is already drinking budweiser so guiness shouldn’t interact too bad…

  • Michelle G. October 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    I can complete relate, my second pregnancy was with two enormous twins (7lb 4 oz and 6 lb) and they let me go to 40 weeks before my c-section (they were both breach). During the last month I couldn’t lay down in bed because I couldn’t get out of the bed, I had to fall out, my husband couldn’t even lift me cuz the weight hurt my back too much. I ended up having to sleep on the edge of our super low couch with 10 pillows behind me, needless to say we are done having kids. Here are my tips for falling asleep, get a sound machine if you don’t have one already, dri8nk milk or Chamomile tea and eat banana’s, yogurt, rice or turkey before bed (banana’s will stop the charlie horse’s too which always used to wake me up in aganozing pain), work out in the morning only if possible, put G in some really warm PJ’s and make it super freezing in your house. Hope some of these tips help. You’ll get through this, it goes by slow but it sounds like your baby is measuring large so you never know you could go early, you’ll be out of the woods in another few weeks!

  • mommylisa October 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I don’t sleep for SHIT – but I pass out cold when I use this thing on my face. http://www.shopnbc.com/offer/?cm_re=OrderHistory-_-Offer-_-N&offercode=304-010&track=-80400 I got it for wrinkles, but it calms my face so much I sleep like crazy good.

  • Kendra October 1, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Baby #2 has wished death upon me. She has decided that my back and, most importantly, my sciatic nerve need to cause me daily pain. She has taken any semblance of normal old me and replaced it with a crazy, hormonal alien freak pretending to be me. People tell me I’m “glowing” and when they do I start to get a crazy eye twitch and refrain with all my might from punching them in the junk because I know they are just saying that! They think that is what they are supposed to say. Bite me. I know what I look like and it ain’t pretty! Good luck with your 6 weeks. I’ve got 14 left to go myself. I’ll help you Rhonda if you hold me closer Tony Danza.

  • Mindy October 1, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Have you seen the baby drinking beer meme? It’s hilarious, he gets me every time he pops up on Pinterest.

    The first page doesn’t have the good ones on there so scroll through the other 2 pages too:

    I know I can’t say anything to make you feel better so I’ll just stick with I’m sorry that baby 2 is taking over your body.

  • Anna October 2, 2012 at 4:57 am

    Well I’m only 12 weeks and totally over pregnancy no. 2 already…so am pretty much fucked. I can’t even think about the 3rd trimester without wanting to cry, so I just focus on the fact that I only feel nauseous 5 hrs a day now (down from 24/7) and am not guaranteed to puke every single day now…small victories…

    If I’d had morning sickness like this with child no. 1 she’d be an only child. So I’m kinda glad it’s no. 2, although, like you, feel a little cheated on the whole knowing shit thing. I was looking forward to being a know it all and calmly passing through the stages of pregnancy like a pro. Yeah. Completely delusional. When the time comes this kid had better just fall out of me and latch on without an issue or I am going to be pissed.

  • Monica King October 2, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I.FEEL.YOUR.PAIN. I have three kids and hated each and every single pregnancy, but love my little people. I was a miserable bitch with high blood pressure, fat face, feet and ankles and wanted to drink gallons of wine. My kids are one year apart so I also felt like I was pregnant for a decade and couldn’t wait for everyone to make their debut. I was two weeks early with them and it still felt like forever. I had terrible sciatic pain and cried every time I turned over in bed. Me and pregnancy hate each other. Hopefully time flies for you and get this little lady out of your lady bits and your body back to normal. Well, “normal”. Hang in there…

  • Sue October 2, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    Pregnancy sucks after week 26. Also sucks before week 18. So there are basically 8 cute weeks in there, where you feel awesome and like you can totally handle it, and that you are not going to actually gain any more weight. Then it all hits the fan. Why i did that 5 times, and am considering a 6th is beyond me.

  • Jess M. October 3, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Oh geez. My husband and I just decided earlier tonight actually, before I read this, that we are going to start trying for baby number two. I was already nervous about it after talking to friends with two babies and how much pregnancy #2 sucked balls. Now I am thinking we are going to have to rethink this baby #2 stuff.

  • ErinB October 3, 2012 at 10:09 am

    ModG, I love your blog and reading about your fabulous baby moon made me super jealous. It’s ok though bc you also gave me a great diversion from webMD and that obnoxious what to expect when you’re expecting website I’d always get stuck reading at 3am, 8 months preggo with my 3rd. Mother nature’s a bitch- she makes us forget all the anxiety, hip pain, labor pain, etc and gives us baby fever a few short months after we’ve exhausted our maternity leave with the previous bebe. At least that’s what happened w/ me- I have a 3 yr old, a 1 yr old, and a 2 week old. I love you, totally know how you feel and hope you have a smooth delivery! (I didn’t wish you a “quick delivery” bc that’s what I wished for and I ended up going into labor in the middle of the night, and by the time I got to the hospital, I’d gone from 2 cm at my obgyn appt earlier that day to 8cm and was too late for an epidural. Or anything. I had a panick attack while pushing him out, and it was an experience.)

  • Mindy Clarke October 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    I love this post. I love the comments – everybody – GOOD JOB for being supportive, and not negative twats. It’s nice when we can all tell support is what needed and not criticize.. if you have those thoughts – don’t post them up in here!! Amanda – you are doing amazing.. congrats on only having 6 weeks to go! I wish for you a speedy delivery and no sads this time!! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

  • Katie @ mommy brain blog October 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Hopefully your punkass baby is getting all the partying out during these 40 weeks, and she will be an angel once she’s out. Maybe it’s like Spring break, you know when perfectly respectable people act like total hos for a week but then return to normal behavior when they get back from Cancun. That is my hope for you!

  • Shelly October 3, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Ive never been preg, so I have no idea what you’re going thru but sorry anyway. I think your blog is hysterical and especially today when you signed off with “help me Rhonda” it was so.funny.to.me!!!!! Rock on, sister thief.

  • Caroline October 7, 2012 at 2:38 am

    If you aren’t offending someone, you aren’t MODG. I love you and your blog, f’real.

  • Becky October 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    I think the worst thing about the not-first-baby is that you can’t relax when you’re exhausted/feeling sick/miserable like you did with the first one because now you have to CHASE the first one around when you’re feeling exhausted/sick/miserable. Hang in there, lady…the end is in sight!