The Great Baby Name Debate. Will my daughter really hate me? I mean not just in general, because of her name.

B and I have had our girl named picked out for a long time. Actually we had a lot of names picked out for a long time. Like Harper. And then my ex-boyfriend, sorority sister and Posh Spice all named their baby Harper. So that died a quick death. And I’m scared to say that our beloved and magically agreed upon new name is on life support. It’s foaming at the mouth and smells of rot.

No, I’m not going to tell you what it is. But I will tell you that it’s not like Penelopoop or Labia. I promise. My family reads this blog and I do not need any more opinions. Yeah, I said mo’ opinions. Because last night I made the mistake of asking an anonymous group of internet strangers what they thought about the name. And they tore my asshole open with a pair of hot pliers. Seriously.

Like not just, “yeah that name isn’t the best”. It was more like “you are stupid horrible people for even considering that name”. Now if anyone knows the internet, it’s me. And yes I know people on the internet develop mob mentality and act a fool’s fool when asked an opinion. I know no one would say that to my face. Especially if they didn’t want a fist of spiders shoved down their throat. Just kidding, I would never touch spiders.

So now you’re curious about the name. I’ll tell you these things: People say it’s masculine…more masculine than I thought it was. People say that it’s not “pretty” for a girl. People say that it’s more of a name of a street, a building, a football player, a hemorrhoid than it is for a girl. And I’ll be honest, this totally surprised me.

B and I love this name. Like really love it. And I’m literally heartbroken that it’s so hated. But then I think, the first time someone used the name Alice in like 1765 people were probably like CRIMENY! THAT BE A WITCH NAME! BURN HER! Maybe people just don’t like different?

But is the name really about what we want? It’s about this little girl that’s coming into the world. I want her to love her name and be proud of it. I’ve always like names that were a little different. Like not Blue Ivy but not Melissa Smith either. My mom told me that I was *almost* Aja (said like Asia). I know! I think I would have loved that name. I think it suits me. And she told me that she regrets caving into her friends and family who told her it was a dumb name.

(Later we named a cat Aja and it pooped on all of our pillows and smushed it in with it’s butt. I would not have done that. Just saying.)

So if I don’t use our name, will I regret it? If I do use our name, will she regret it?

Under deep pressure, we did come up with a backup name. It’s a cute name. It’s a tiny dot different but nothing crazy and I’m ok with it. B is ok with it too. But it’s not THE name.

But again, I’m not naming ANOTHER gummy lizard. This is a person. She will have to live with this name through every classroom, every job application, every first date and every Grammy acceptance. I can’t make a mistake here.

How much of this is caring too much what other people think and how much is not caring enough what our daughter will think? I just don’t know. For now we’ll have our little list of names and bring them to the hospital and it will eat away at me for the next 3 months until maybe she writes all posession style on the inside of my uterus what name SHE would like. But until that happens,  I will feel obsessed with this. And B will roll his eyes again every time I bring it up and mumble something about the cost of colleges again.

I know it’s hard to help a sister out when I won’t tell you the name. Don’t go searching the internet either, I deleted that shit for stalkers like you.

Ok just kidding. It actually IS Penelepoop.

XOXO

MODG and forever Yoshe.

__________________________________________

This post was brought to you by the awesome and amazing people at Honest Tea. Who for no other reason than being awesome have been sending me lovely beverages for months now. This was way before they wanted to advertise with us. They are a smaller company than you would think and really care about their customers. I always remember that when I’m shopping for stuff.

Specifically they have been sending me Honest Ade, which isn’t tea, it’s all organic, no high fructose corn syrup all under 100 calories and not too punch  me in the face sweet. After being forced to chug an ocean of water a day, it’s been SO nice to have these to drink.  We don’t do soda or juice in our house, but this we ALL love. I’m even cool with G having some. And now they have a new kids line.

And the awesome people over there want to give away 3 cases to our readers. I’ll be picking 3 winners from the comments. To enter all you have to do is leave an honest comment about the name post today and fan them on facebook. Oh check out their new ad campaign. I really do love these people.

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POSTED IN: B,babies,Not Pleased

{ 325 comments }

Lisa August 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Holy shit, first rule of baby names is NEVER TELL ANYONE BEFORE THE KID IS BORN. Like really, you’re a mom, you should know that. Screw the bitches, if you think it’s *the name*, then it’s the name, and go for it. Either they’ll be stupid bitches and you can cut them out of your life for being idiots, or they’ll come around and grow to love it.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

i know I know I KNOOOW
but I really needed some anonymous opinions in case I was making a huge mistake. Lotta good that did me

Stephanie August 12, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Honey, Go with THE name. It’s picked with love and she will be a part of your family so anything you pick, she’ll love. The name will become whatever SHE is, she won’t become what the name is….does that make sense. Whatever it is, She’ll rock it. and you guys love it, so go with that.

and really if it’s really crazy, she can just go by her middle name ; )

Rebekah August 12, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Name her what you want and give her a simpler middle name that she can go by if she hates her first name. And def don’t care about what everyone else thinks.

Christina August 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Choosing names is hard! You have to go with your gut though and not worry about what a bunch of internet bitches or family think. We didn’t name our daughter until we were about the check out of the hospital b/c I heard so many negative comments about our #1 name option. My husband was staring at our daughter and said “what about Maggie?”. I nearly smacked him into reality when I pointed out that was our dead cat’s name and the name written on the white board in our recovery room – our nurses name!! We chose Harper Sullivan (insert last name here) before it was popular and before Beckham and Posh named their girl Harper Seven. Sure, some others, not as cool as Eddie Veddar (one of his daughters is named Harper too), the Beckham’s, or us, chose Harper as their girl’s name too, but our girl –she is a Harper and I can’t imagine it any other way! Good luck & go with your gut feeling!

Hilary Valenstein August 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Go for it, every kid will go through phases of loving then hating their name. If you love it then ultimately she will love it

linden August 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

people lose their damn minds when they heard i was naming my son milo before he was born and strangers still give me the judgey face. . meh. if he hates it, he has a middle name to fall back on when he’s older.
my least favorite thing is when people say you have to think about other kids making fun of your kid’s name on the playground. i grew up with the slightly different, technically a boy’s name of linden and never got any crap about it. i dont think kids give a damn about each others’ names, its just adults trying to make each other feel inferior for having different tastes.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

you’re right about the playground thing. Also people who were nerds say this.

Morgan August 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I agree with Linden (PS – love that name!), I grew up with what at the time was a boys name and I LOVE it! My mom got all kinds of flack about the name but my parents knew it was THE name and I think that contributes to my loving it. Do what you think is right and Yoshi will love it!

Leigh August 12, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I definitely got teased about my name – Lee Jeans, Levis, LeeLee, stupid stuff that was annoying when I was a kid. I also have a last name that can be teased too. But I like my name and I don’t recall disliking it then, I just disliked the people teasing me.

I will say this though – I really hated personalized stuff never being available in my name when I was a kid. My son has a classic name and I love that I can find stuff with his name on it. If you’re saying the name you’re choosing is popular, but more for boys, you may find stuff for your daughter but it could be blue or a “boy’s” color, since society has gone completely overboard in the gendering of stuff with pink and blue, etc.

So those are just some (frankly, minor) things to consider.

Gracie August 13, 2012 at 1:47 am

Hey Modgie Modg,
For my entire child-life (childhood, if you will) I hated my name. It’s not that different than Grace, but until about 17 I was pissed at my parents for not giving me a damn normal name. However, since I realized that my name was kinda normal but also not super run-of-the-mill I really appreciated my parents for it.
I don’t have babies, yet, so no advice to offer there – but, I think you should go with the name. Unless it’s super cray. Like Blue Ivy. But if it’s a little weird, not that cray, only cray in your preggo mind – go with it. My parents never second-guessed any of our weird names and we are all the better for it.
P.S. We were all super hippie childrean and that experience has been awesome. Much more awesome-er than the weird name thing. Go on and getchya hippie on gurl.
P.S. I love Kourtney too. Kardashians…fa life!

Morgan Numero Dos August 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Dude! I totally hear you. Morgan was NOT a popular girls name and do you know how many times I heard “Morgan… as in Morgan Freeman?” It didn’t make me dislike my name, I just thought people were dumb. (Yes, I’m a 60 year old black man. You’re so smart.) And now there are little girly Morgan’s all over the place. Plus when I was little my dad told me he wanted a strong name so that I grew into a confident and independant woman. I liked that thought then, I still like it now.

And duh, stop sharing your name. When Yoshe is born everyone will love the name “Leonardo” and think she is the most adorable cutest “Larry” they have ever met.

ElisaM August 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Honestly you should go with whatever name you and B like. It’s your kid, and no one else’s decision but yours. If you’re really worried you could always give it a more “conventional” middle name in case she wants to use that when she gets older.

Teresa August 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Long response coming at ya!!!! Okay, so a couple years ago, I too was pregnant with a girl. And we were quick to grab a girl name (and yes, it happens to be a popular one but that’s not why we chose it). Her name is Ava (btw, Aja, were your parents steely dan fans?? I went to school with an Aja and while she was a stuck up snooty biscuit of a person, I think it’s a pretty name). It’s not Ava because a lot of stars like the name, etc, it’s Ava because my husbands favorite band is Angels and Airwaves and in forums and stuff, AVA is how it’s shortened (the V is and upside down A, get it). And it went further than this. He loves the band and they had an album coming out called “Love” so he wanted to name our daughter Ava with a middle name of Love…. I put the cabosh on that because we’re not hippies. So he had chosen the first name, Ava and our last name stars with a Z so we had A and Z as initials. I decided that I wanted something unique and from the middle of the alphabet for our daughters middle name… yes, I am the parent that chose the letter Q! Doctors offices always ask for the middle initial and when I say Q they ALWAYS ask what it is. It’s Quinn. I think it has a nice ring to it, it’s unique and I love it. My husband also forgot my excellent point that in some forms of cursive the Q looks like a 2 so we have A2Z for our kid…. lol. He honestly forgot that I randomly chose this middle name and he assumed I had some deep emotional connection to a relative with this middle name or something. Nope, I liked it, I had a bizarre reason and I stuck to it. I will say that her due date was very close to the final episode of LOST, which I was in love with. I said that if she prevented me from seeing the final episode, my husband would kind of get his way because then her name would be Lost Love Z…. so she would always remember what she cost me. Instead, she came on the superbowl but conveniently waited until the game was over. lol

S August 12, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I love reading name stories and I loved yours! Also, “snooty biscuit of a person” is amazing.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I love the name you two chose!

KMW August 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I think you should name your baby what you initially picked out. We, like you, didn’t tell another living soul our choice of name because it would have broken my heart to have someone pick it apart. It’s much harder to pick apart a name when there’s a cute smooshy baby face attached to it. So we decided to wait until she was born and introduce her to the family by her name. I’m sure some people don’t like our name. I’m sure some people think it’s stupid/not cute/not good enough whatever, but they’ll NEVER say anything because she’s adorable and they’d be an asshole if they cut apart a cute baby’s name.

Go with your guts – they’re never wrong. The internets in this case are very wrong. I’m sure your name is full of all sorts of awesome.

Becca August 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm

We named our daughter Scout. My mom hates it and apparently most people think it’s a boys name, but we love it. My mom actually told us to give her a “normal” middle name so she can go by that as an adult (we ignored her). What’s funny is I think our son’s name is muh more out there (Archer), an no one seems to think it’s strange at all. Go with the name you love. If you both really love it, I think she will too. And if not it can be her excuse for hating you when she’s 15.

Hannah August 12, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Oh my god I love both those names. You’re my hero.

Katie E. August 12, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Fred.

Lauren August 12, 2012 at 2:36 pm

So my friend just had a baby girl. She told a few people that she wanted to name the baby Eliot and people looked at her like she was crazy pants for wanting to name a little girl Elliot and also she got the E.T. Reference a lot. She decided to stop telling people, tell everybody she already told that they weren’t deciding until the birth and then revealed the name. Everyone loves it now that there is a cute little girl face to go with the name. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR kid. Nobody elses. If you and B love a name, use it and eff everyone else who doesn’t like it. They can name their own kid whatever they want.

Dayle August 12, 2012 at 4:59 pm

My daughter is Elliott! Most people think it is the coolest girl name. My rule was always nothing in the top 100, plus boy name for girl. My mom was angry and told me it was stupid to name a girl with a boy name. Duh! She named me Dayle! Any way everyone loves Elliott, except for my aunts. They refuse to call her Elliott though, they call her Ellie, which is super popular right now.

I think you should go with what you love, don’t tell anyone else the name until she is born and you will be happy.

Katie August 12, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Name her WHATEVER YOU WANT. People suck. You WILL regret it of you don’t. Especially if you ever hear it on someone else’s kid- you will be in regret ville USA.

FIGHT ON FOR BABY NAME.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

TRUTH. I will burn that person at the stake

Meagan{Green Motherhood} August 12, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Yes! I wanted Lyla, hubs didn’t, we settled on Isla. THEN, my sister in law names her daughter Lyla. So now we can cousin Isla and Lyla.
Shoot me.

G's Mom August 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm

My daughter was supposed to have a totally different name than what she has now. My husband and I love it, we pictured her forever and ever with it and that’s who “she” was while I was pregnant. We told some family members the name and we were trashed and murdered for it to the point where we buckled and named her something different. I love her name now, but it’s not the name she was meant to have. Whenever I hear of a girl with her “would-be” name I cringe and feel a pang of jealousy. DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!! We live in regret-ville and we would love to move ;-)

Karen August 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

My stepsister was named after a sci-fi character and has spent much of her life having her name mispronounced, mispelled, miseverything’d. It has been a huge pain in the ass and I wouldn’t wish it on However, you and B are smart and thoughtful, traits her parents lacked back in the mid-70s. So provided that the name you and B love isn’t crazy like that, I say go for it! If you want, you can hedge your bets by giving her a more traditional middle name as a back up option if the first name doesn’t work out…

Sarah August 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I just had my little girl and went with Evelyn Roux. I wanted something not everyone was using but something she wouldn’t hate:) We call her Evie (e.v.) and it suits her, and went with an unusual middle name to spice things up. Then she can go by her middle name if she ever wants to. I think whatever you decide, that name will suit her. That’s how these things work. And you can just use a nickname if you want. We also love the honest tea brand, very yummy.

Sayward August 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I have an incredibly weird name that isn’t very pretty and that nobody can ever pronounce or remember, and I LOVE IT. I loved being the only one with this name, like, ever, and I’m sooo glad that my Mom had the good sense to put the “weird” name first and name me Sayward Elizabeth instead of Elizabeth Sayward.

Just an opinion from a chick with a really weird name.

Rachel August 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

If you love the name stick to it!!! Our daughter’s middle name is Hy after my hudnand’s late grandfather Herman ( his nick name was Hy). I was really nervous about it but we both loved it and still do :).
I love honest ade and get it whenever I can!!! I just try the limeade for the first time.

Mary August 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

How does the beloved name sound as a middle name with the backup name? I like different – even somewhat masculine – middle names for girls. If you go that route, the beloved name is still a part of who she is, and she can decide later on which name she wants to go by.

P.S. The name Mary did save me from an uncomfortable encounter with a flaming stake, but it’s boring. Be bold!

Sinclair August 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Go for it. I’m so glad my parents named me Sinclair rather than Katie, which was their other choice. I mean, Katie’s fine and all, but Sinclair? Pshhhh. No contest.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I love Sinclair. That’s a good name.

Nathalie August 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I love your name, and I love the name of your blog! Avocado Explosion! :)

Brandi August 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I don’t have any kids, and not really sure that I want any, BUT…name YOUR baby whatever YOU want. Screw the haters. Somebody somewhere will always have something negative to say about you and your parenting choices, but as another comment said, who is really going to talk shit about a name when there is a cute baby attached? I personally think that if it is THE name and you don’t give it to her, that’s when you will regret it.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I agree. I’m not worried about what people will say to us. I’m worried about her life with the name. And I feel like I’m getting a preview of what she may have to deal with

K August 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

But an anonymous group of internet people are going to act totally different than individual people, one by one, who are actually meeting your daughter. Once the name is hers, they will associate it with her and it will seem normal because it will be her name and she will be a real person. Rather than a hypothetical “what if”. Use the name you love.

Amanda C August 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Name her whatever you want! Just keep this in mind: Is it odd to spell or say? Teachers and everyone she deals with for the rest of her life (professionally, etc) will get it wrong and it just gets old. My bff has a very odd name (asaycia, ah-say-sha) and while it is beautiful, it gets old people commenting on it and screwing it up. But if it just unique, as in naming a girl Ryan, (which I LOVE), then DO IT and SCREW EVERYONE ELSE!! It can’t be as bad as Apple or Blue Ivy, or Pilot Inspektor hahaha

Britney August 12, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I don’t know- people are always more ballsy in hypothetical situations than in real life. I doubt that people will be rude to her about her name once it is actually her name & no longer just a possibility.

Alisha Helton August 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Name her what you want, what YOU feel is best. If that means you need to see her face first, so be it. Hard as it may be, I wouldn’t listen to what everyone else said. We named our daughter Bella Merlene. Bella because we liked it – and this was before Twilight- and Merlene was my Grandma’s name. She’d passed away prior to B being born. I told people what we were naming our baby and that if they didn’t like it to please keep their opinions to themselves. I never waivered, never changed my mind and when she was born, the name really did fit her. And I found a way to honor a person so very important in my life. As kids, we all go through a phase were we wish we had a different name. Hell, last summer, my son Kayden insisted on being called Derrick. We don’t know anyone by that name, and I was a little saddened by this, but it passed. I know choosing a name is a daunting task. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try. I bet when you see her you’ll know what’s right.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I do agree that you should name your baby whatever you want, but with one caveat. Don’t pick a dumb name. Different…that’s okay. A little masculine… that’s okay too. A stripper name… probably not okay. I was recently involved in hiring for our office, and I gotta say Dixie, Tiffani, Brandi, and Destiny weren’t at the top of the list for interviews. Fair – probably not. But there ya go.

Rachael August 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

The only people who’s opinions of the name matter are you and B. Seriously. If my husband and I could agree on a name it would be no contest, that’s the name. If you *love it* it’s because it’s her name. I want to guess, I’m know that is obnoxious but hey you said be honest! And I am honestly wondering if the name is Blake because it’s beautiful but kinda a boys name but it came to me while reading so I had to blurt it out.

Anyway… I love me some Honest Tea, I would love to try this new product… I’ve never had it. I went and liked em on facebook. Yummy, send that shit my way.

Emi August 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

My aunt-in-law asked me what we were going to name our daughter (due in Dec) and before I could even take a breath she inserted “Oh, please don’t tell me it’s something weird.” It’s not. But what if it was? The only appropriate response is “oh, how nice!” I say go with the name you love. Yes, she has to live with it all her life, but how many of us hated our names at some point and wished we were named something different? Everyone goes through that phase. If you named her something like “Mary” she would probably hate it because it was too boring. Go with the name you love and screw the haters.

Anne Peltier August 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I loooove a good name discussion, so I’m kind of bummed you’re not sharing the name, but I completely understand why. Often a name isn’t my personal style, but I can appreciate the good and bad qualities of it and discuss it objectively. Like the pros and cons of a gender-neutral name, alternative spellings, etc.

I’m a big fan of a more conventional middle name with a less conventional first name, or vice versa, so the child has options if they really truly hate their given first name. And an undeniably feminine middle name can help offset a more masculine(?) first name, or at least resolve gender confusion when people see the full name written out.

P.S. I love Honest Tea and liked their FB page :)

Tia August 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I think as long as you can’t come up with some kind of horrible nickname that the kids on the playground will brutalize her with, you should go ahead with the name you love. As far as whether or not she hates it later on, I think we all go through that phase once in our female lifetime. :) We gave our girls modernized versions of classics. So, while they won’t have kids giving them horrible nicknames, and they probably won’t be teased for their name in general, they will have to spell it for everyone for the rest of their lives. So, yea, that might make us terrible parents. But, we were too in love with the names to choose something different. I say go for it, and deal with any repercussions (if any) as they come.

Jessica August 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

This is why I’ve stopped throwing names out to the public (read:family). I guess they thought I was asking for an opinion, which I suppose I was, I just assumed that the opinion would be total agreeance (word?). So Beatrix is out. I guess. But I miss her. I love the new name very much and it does seem to fit nicely and suit who I think she could be and will look good to prospective employers. But man I hate how susceptible I am to others’ assholes– I mean, opinions. I was one of many Jessicas in school and HATED it. I like to try and stay out of the top 1000 on the Social Security database. My first is G’s age and she is Delia and always was and I never regretted it or let myself be swayed– even when my husband proclaimed that schoolyard boys would chant: “Delia, I wanna feel ya.” I think, stick to your guns. And I love that J. Simps picked Maxwell Drew. Sayin’.

ElisaM August 12, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Aww, I love Beatrix, keep it if you really want to! My daughter is named Amelia. I love old girl’s names.

Julia August 13, 2012 at 11:26 am

I named my daughter Beatrice! I loved my own name (Julia) growing up because it was timeless and easy to spell yet not many people had it, and I wanted the same for my daughter. Everyone thought I was joking when I was pregnant and declaring that her name was going to be Beatrice. Imagine the horror when I actually put it on her birth certificate! haha. Even now when I tell people what her name is they instantly ask me what we call her.

Uh… we call her Beatrice?

Then of course they have to ask who she’s named after. Uh…. no one?

People are stupid.

And the name Beatrice is awesome and classic and perfect for my pretty little wild child. You should definitely use it for your next daughter.

demi August 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I love names that cause people to give you the side eye. Heck my real first name is Dhalma..but everyone calls me Demi because its easier and also my stage name. Also a close friend called their daughter Stevie..and she caught all kinds of slack for it. But it fits her…and I think its adorable. Whatever you name her will be perfect!

Jamie August 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Dont listen to the Internet haters. Stick with THE name or you’ll always regret it. She can always go by her middle name if she decides she hates it later in life (which she won’t). PS- now I’m dying to know what it is! Will you tell me if I promise to say I love it?

Alicia August 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

All of my children have unique names, and we love them. Go with what you love and don’t worry about anyone else’s opinion!

Emily August 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Did they say it was masculine or is it actually boys name? Because here’s the thing with boys names on girls… it will be a pain in the ass for them for life. I have a friend named Tobi. She has to put her middle name in all her email signatures lest people think she’s a man. And that’s really my litmus. Put her name on the top of a resume. What would you assume about her?

You don’t want her name to hold her back. But you have time! Personally, I don’t think you can go wrong with a French name for a girl. Here’s a list of names I love: http://french.about.com/od/culture/a/frenchnames_3.htm

Good luck! It’s not easy naming a person.

MODG August 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

apparently it IS a boy’s name. But I didn’t know this. Not only is it a boys name it’s a “trendy” boy’s name. Vomit.

Emily August 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Ooooooof. “Trendy” is the mark of death.

I actually think I just figured out what it is. If not, I have a good guess! But only because a friend of mine shot down the name for the VERY SAME REASON.

Erin August 12, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Finn? Finley? As long as they are spelled correctly and are real names, then it’s okay says me.

Colleen August 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm

We just named my daughter Ryann and I love it. It’s pronounced like the boys name and we double screwed her because we didn’t give her a middle name. But I don’t care. Ryann is my sister’s name and my mom said she lost sleep over it, but I’ve always been totally jealous of my sister’s unique name. Go with your gut- girls who rock unique names tend to be those mysterious, interesting people that everyone is drawn to.

Leigh August 12, 2012 at 9:03 pm

The trend issue is a whole separate thing, but being mistaken for a guy – yep, I get that too, even with my more feminine spelling. I find it annoying that people default to man, but sometimes I think it is to my advantage (in written correspondence, anyway, since in person/by phone would be obvious I’m a woman) – if I’m a guy they’re taking me more seriously, right?

I also agree with the folks who say make sure the pronunciation is obvious. Having people call me Leah, Lay (Really, people?), Leia, etc. is pretty annoying.

Debbie August 12, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I’ve recently started medical school and have met several girls with names traditionally held by boys, and I LOVE how boys names fit on girls these days – lending a very strong, independent confidence to them. Plus, they’re all super cool girls. I haven’t asked them if they hated their names growing up or if they got a lot of crap for it on the playground, but now as professional women entering a medical field, they totally OWN those names. Their names are Justin, Stuart, Joe (NOT short for Josephine, just Joe), and Wesley. I heart strong women with strong names, and their moms are awesome for sticking to their guns and giving them those names!! So go for it!

E August 12, 2012 at 10:44 pm

My oldest is named Taylor, he’s 11, and obviously a boy. It was my husband’s grandmother’s maiden name, and I had no idea when naming him that, that it would become a popular girl’s name. Oh well, he hasn’t been teased about it, and he likes it fine!

Stacey August 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

If it is Luca (which is my guess, knowing that it starts with an L), I TRIPLE HEARTS LOVE THAT NAME! I have it on my list for future kids for either a boy or a girl. Name your daughter with a name you and B love. Nothing else matters.
Who cares if it is normally used as a boy’s name? I also LOVE the name Charlie for a little girl. You will regret not naming your daughter what you want. Internet strangers are mostly a**holes. Do NOT listen to them.

mommylisa August 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

Did you not pay attention to the reason I call my baby Boo Boo La La on the internet?!?!? For real – you don’t tell internet people your name. FYI – I read up the other day on baby names and BBLL’s is a boys name too!!! I apparently chose the MASCULINE spelling of her name. p.s. My maid of honor was a KYLE and BBLL’s bestie is a Kendall – girls with boy names. It rules.

Kelly.R August 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

GAH. The most important person to not tell my baby name pick with be my mom. I made the mistake of telling her my favorite middle name choice and she lost her shit. “He’s going to be picked on and turn into a major nerd and hate you.” Pshh For the record my best friend thinks the name would help him get the ladies (or fellas) Thankfully my brother and dad talked her out of naming me Lacey. It’s a lovely name, but I would feel so much pressure to actually wear makeup with a name like that.

Susan August 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The only thing I advise is to never use your child’s middle name as the one you “call her by”. For her entire life she will have to explain. When the teacher calls “Megan Elizabeth Smith”, she will have to say…”They call me Elizabeth.” Soooooooooo annoying for the child AND everyone else. Name her what you are going to call her everyday! ;)

Anna August 13, 2012 at 4:09 am

I second that!

My husband was named David but called Scott from birth (his mother didn’t have the guts to tell her mother to shove it, so just made him deal with it all his life). It is a NIGHTMARE on official documentation. Apparently I am married to some guy called David :/

As for the name you choose. If anyone gives you shit just say “she’s named after my dearly departed grandma/pa” and they’ll shut right up quick enough.

Anwen Elizabeth August 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

Agreed! My parents named me Anwen Elizabeth, but I’ve always gone by “Wendy.” I get blank stares when I explain the connection–AnWEN…WENdy. Yeah, that was a stretch, dear parents. But, I love an uncommon name…I just wish they would have stuck with Anwen and called me that instead. It is a royal pain any time I have to do something official–job hunting, doctor’s appointments, back in college, etc. Such a pain to explain that I go by a name that actually isn’t legally my name at all.

So my two cents–name her something as unique as you want it to be, but just call her what you name her. Don’t hide it as a middle name. Own it, sister!!

Meagan {Green Motherhood} August 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Go with what you love. And if someday she comes to you and says she hates it (which she will probably do because it’s something every girl goes through), tell her why you picked it and why it is special.
My daughter has a very different name and spelling (Isla June) but my husband was insistent on spelling it the traditional way. And her name is a family name, so I love it. Not everyone can pronounce it and I know her teachers will have a hard time with it, but you know what? People ALWAYS remember her because of her unique name. There’s something to be said to that.
More unique names are much more popular now. It won’t even be an issue in a few years to name her Penelepoop.

Kelly August 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Go with your initial name! I wanted to name our little girl Charlie or maybe Charley, but had way to many comments! I also worked at a school and one of our girl students was Ryan. I loved it and it totally fit!
Good luck!

Shan August 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I definitely say keep the name secret until the day she is born. It’s a lot harder to be critical of a name when it is attached to such a sweet and precious little wrinkled face. I kept mine a secret until that moment, too, because I knew I would get the judgmental opinions from my family. I’m sure they said those things to othes, but I didn’t have to hear it with my beautiful little boy in my arms. My husband and I battled over names forever though. We named him Maddox, but it took the hubs a while to come around. He said it was too close to buttocks. Psshh. Crazy man. We also have two middle names. Definitely the black sheep in the family now! Go with what feels right to you though, and eff everyone else. =D

Kim August 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Go with the name you love! Who cares what other people think? My daughter is named Scout (as in, the little girl’s nickname from To Kill a Mockingbird). My mom hated it, but I stick to my guns. Even now I’ve found many people are illiterate and have no idea what To Kill a Mockingbird is and will go, “Can you spell that?” and once I go, “S-C-O-U-T” they will reply, “…Oh… like a dog?” Thanks, friend. Yes, like a dog.

But you know what? I still love it and she is such a Scout-y type baby and I have no regrets. I went with a boring-er middle name so if she hates it, she can do a switch-up and opt going by her middle name when she reinvents herself in college.

Kelleyellen August 12, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I love To Kill a Mockingbird and always wished my name was Scout when I was little!

Anne August 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Not sure if my past comment posted, but if it didn’t, OK, because I accidentally put my full name and didn’t want to do that. Oops.

I had a thoughtful comment about names, but can’t remember now and my computer time is almost up thanks to short kid attention spans.

Go with your heart. But maybe give her a more conventional middle name so she has options. That’s the condensed version.

And Honest Tea rocks.

katie August 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

i hate judgy mcjudgersons!
it took us FOREVER to pick a name for our son, actually my husband picked it out and i didn’t like it. but he kept on and kept on with the name and it eventually grew on me, and then it was our son’s name. for like 2 months. then my husband found out he worked with a guy, same job different building, who had the SAME name. not just the same first name, but the same first AND last name! ugh! we were coming up with all sorts of lame comments other people would make, like “o how cute you named your son after his father” and this is like 3 weeks before his due date. it was his name already, how do i change it? all the other names were stupid. and then we took to our families, cus we hadn’t told anyone yet (and boy did that piss everyone off! hahahaha.) they convinced us to keep the name and that the other guy would eventually move or we would move (which we did.) so i’m glad we didn’t change our son’s name for some guy i’d never even met (and will prolly never meet.) that’s my advice, don’t change your daughter’s name over some comments from people you’ve never even met. for all you know their kids have super stupid names…

SI August 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm

If you both really love it, go for it! It’s been my experience with my friends naming their kids that it takes a LONG time for both parents to agree on a name. Forget everyone else. I wasn’t super thrilled with my niece’s name but it’s growing on me. And if all else fails, after letting her live with it for a while and letting everyone else marinate on it, you can always change it if you really want to. My name was officially changed when I was a baby. haha! You can also go in with both names ready and see what she “looks” like before deciding. :)

Jenny August 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

We just had a little girl last week and named her Teagan. I don’t know how many people have responded by saying they always thought it was a boy name. I’ve never met a boy Teagan but know some girl Teagans. People will have opinions but who cares. Once your little lady arrives you’ll know if that’s her name or not.

km August 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

i totally wanted to keep our names secret with our first but people are so good at making you feel guilty- i got a lot of “oh you aren’t going to be one of THOSE people and not tell the names, are you??”… just go with the name you love. we did and we still loooove it, it suits him, and we will go with our #1 name for this next baby no matter if 85 of our closest friends use it first for their cats or whatever. and who knows, maybe you DID channel the name from the baby herself during a dream or something- she totally wants that name.

also honest tea brand makes this chocolate drink that is amazing… at least i think it is the same people. the mocha is a little weird but the cherry is where it’s at.

Lindsay August 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

My $0.02 — Share the gender, fine but don’t share the name until the ink has dried on the birth certificate. People have opinions and most likely, you won’t want to hear them…or so I’ve learned. I have two children with the third on the way. Our first was adopted and there was a whole stink because we not only changed her last name to our family name, but we changed her first name too. Our second was a biological son and everyone had opinions on his gender – like they had any say or control on whether the chromosomes line up to be xx or xy. Then we shared his name list and again, opinions. This time – we know baby is a girl. We’ve shared that with very few people. But I know for a fact we won’t share names until it is official on her paperwork.

Lindsay August 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Also…go in with a few names. I was for sure my son was going to be James Matthew, but he wasn’t a James when born. We waited till just before discharge to fill out the official paperwork. My son turned out to be a Grant and I absolutely love it.

^^And my daughter that we renamed when we finalized her adoption, had a boy’s name…Elliott. As a teacher, I knew she’d get called a boy whenever someone glanced at the roster, we had already experienced that just going to the doctor’s office or to the pharmacy. Her nickname was Ellie and that’s what she has always been known as so we gave her the formal name Elizabeth just so she would have one if needed, you know, when she’s president.

Laura C August 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Not to be all doom and gloom again (Every time I comment I’m all like, it will suck anyway so what’s the point) BUT no matter what you name that baby, you’ll have a) haters and b) idiot mispronouncers. Also every dog you meet will be named your baby’s name. We have a Lucy. It’s, like, an old classic name, medium popular, easy to say, short and sweet. Now we’ve met like 87 dog Lucys and have had an insurance claims idiot call her “Lucky.” Eyeroll. Use the name the message board floozies hated on, you know half of them are hand-painting wooden letters copying your name for their own floozy nurseries right this second.

allison August 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I just hope it isn’t agnes. Saw That 1 yesterday and felt so sorry for that poor little girl. I mean how many mean girls are going t call her gagness, etc. I’m sure your name is perfect and will not f her up

MODG August 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

it is not agnes.

allison August 12, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I hope it IS Hayden…which fits your “it’s a boys name….a trendy boy’s name” comment. Hayden is my maiden name and was going to be our girls name if my son had been a girl…i’ve wanted to name a daughter that since I was in middle school and HATE that it became trendy for boys right when I started having pods! AHHHH!

Allison August 12, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Autocorrect attack….I’m human, so I meant kids, not pods.

Allison August 12, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Tanner!? As in Danny!?

ElisaM August 12, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Ohhh Tanner would be cute, good thinking Allison!

Amanda C August 12, 2012 at 10:59 pm

My fiance has a girl on his softball team named Tanner! He also has a Rae.

allison2 August 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

good thing it wasn’t agnes…

Ashlee August 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

MODG! I’m dying at knowing what this damn name is and I’m sure it’s perfect for your family and internet strangers are a$$holes anyway, hubby and I just came up with our baby names for our inside baby last night and I’ll tell you they are not common and they will probably get side eye. I will share mine if you share yours (email me!) haha, I’m scared to get opinions from friends/family because like I said they are different. But, we love them. Go with your GUT.

amy August 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I have had 3 kids, and they didn’t get named until the last day of the hospital stay. Don’t you have to meet them first?

MODG August 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yes I usually agree with that. This name however we have loved for years. It’s only recently that I’m questioning it. But now I will go with at least 2 names

julie s. August 12, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I have to agree with the 8 gajillion other comments. If you have really loved this name for years, and you BOTH love it, you have to go with it! As long as it’s not Lemonjello.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

We got a lot of flack for naming our son Xavier. People said it was wierd, odd, of another race, etc… I didnt care then and don’t now. He fits his name and vise versa. Everyone’s opinions can stuff it.

Keep the name you like.

KB August 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

We are going through something similar. My parents think I am nuts for wanting to name my daughter Camden. I am now pretty pissed that there is a Cavellari Cutler offspring with the same name, but I will not be deterred. Your kid do what you want.

Ashley C August 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

My daughter was born 3 weeks ago and it was the hardest thing to name her. She literally didn’t have a name for the first 2 hours of her life (after we told everyone what her name was going to be, weeks before). Finally we decided on a unique name that I had had mixed feed-back about but it just felt perfect. I wouldn’t stress about it, wait until you meet the little miss and see if one name or the other fits her. It’s silly, but you really will just know once you see her face!

Amanda August 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

If you want your hippie mom friends to really, truly love you… go for it. All the cool hippie moms have kids with awesome names.

Laurie August 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Was it the baby name board on thebump? Because they are brutal bitches.
My 1 year old daughters name is Ava and I love it. Short and sweet.

Desiree August 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

OMG, yes! I don’t know what it is about The Bump but they are all so harsh! It seems like every board is filled with territorial monsters! I was shocked when I got on there when I was trying to get pregnant. If you’re not one of them, forget about it! I quickly exited stage left, because I have no time for that shit.

And MODG, people are rude assholes when they can’t see your face. No one would dare say anything about your kid’s name when they’re looking at her. I named my daughter before I found our her name was in the TOP THREE of popular names for 2010. But I was already sold, so we went ahead with it. We have no regrets, her name is perfect and I DARE anyone to say something to my face about it.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Seriously – who cares what other people think of THE name?! If you & B love it then that is all that matters. You aren’t going to please everyone when you announce the name so don’t even bother stressing over it. There are always going to be those haters who will have an opinion about what you named your child. I say screw ‘um. Your child – your choice! And keeping it a secret until Yoshe is born is wise – very wise!!

Alaina August 12, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Here’s the thing (coming from a girl whose mom named her after the main character in a smut novel – you know, all bodice-ripping, throbbing members, etc.): in the same way that no one is going to tell you that your baby’s name is stupid while you’re holding the baby, no one (after the age of about 12) is going to tell your kid that her name is stupid to her face. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some things a person should never do, like naming their kid Apple or Braylon (sorry, but those trendy -aylon names are just terrible), but in the end, a name is what you make of it. My name is a little odd and certainly does not originate from the most lofty place, but my sister’s name is Jessica, like just about every other girl born between 1980 and 1985, and I’d take mine every day, hands down.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm

We didn’t tell anyone the names we were considering either. Hell, we didn’t even tell our families we knew she was a she. Name her what you want and you think she’ll be proud of. I teach and have had the most unique stories from kds with cool (read: different names). I think that it is because their parents were strong enough to do what they wanted. Good luck – she (and her name) will be beautiful no matter what.

Kristen August 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Use the name! No matter what name you use, there will always be someone who doesn’t like it. Old bitchy people will say things like “you know she has that name for the rest of her life, right?” and you would be well within your rights to throat punch them. If you love it, use it. I named my daughter Harper and have had countless people tell me it’s a boy name, weird, strange, “different”, etc. Who cares? I haven’t for one second regretted it. It’s perfect, it fits her and I still love it. Use the name!

Kate August 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

My comment got eaten…Let me try again:

A jillion years ago you talked about how you had a super secret baby girl name picked out, and then you saw someone you knew who had named their dog that. The same thing just happened to me which is why your pain is fresh in my mind. SO, I want to know if that name (still a super secret) is THE name. It was so long ago, the dog could be dead by now.

DaniD August 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Good luck! I never thought that naming a child would be SO hard but it was – for me anyway. I read somewhere in your blog that you were once a recruiter. I was a recruiter for several years before my little one was born. I have picked up a resume and made a split second judgement solely based on the name many times – not on purpose, it just happened sometimes. That weighed heavily on me when considering names. But that aside if you really love the name and it feels right you should go with it. My husband ended up choosing our daughters name (because I just couldn’t commit) and at 10 months I just now feel like its starting to fit. Its beautiful. He named her Delaney Isabel. I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t care for it and 75% of people make no comment when I tell them her name. I assume they don’t care for it and that bothers me a little bit but she is the CUTEST child ever!! and when she gets a little older she will ROCK IT! All of her friends will be envious of her beautiful name and her cool nickname – we call her Laney. Anyway, if you both love it go with it! Your sweet little one will ROCK IT! Best wishes!

Carly August 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Anonymous people can be so mean. We went with a traditional name not because I like traditional, I never really have, but because it’s what we felt we should name our daughter. Your gut will lead you in the right direction, name her what you want to name her. People will get used to it. Once you for sure decide, most people won’t dis the name. I stressed about the name for months. After she was born, I regretted picking the name we did. It took me a couple weeks to call her by her name and realize it was the right name.

L-Mar August 12, 2012 at 3:44 pm

First of all… Don’t tell anyone the name before she’s born! Also, I’ve learned that whether people like it or not, that doesn’t matter after the first week of life… It just becomes who she is and people don’t judge the name any more.., go with THE name!

Courtney August 12, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Don’t listen to internet Aholes.

6 or so years ago, when I was preg w/ my first, I wanted to name her Hayden. I loved the name and my hubs did too, but I made the mistake of checking a stupid baby board forum to see what people thought of it, and it got bashed and ripped a new one, so I got scared and thought it was a terrible idea of a name and didn’t use it. We ended up naming her Taylor, which I do love, but I often regret not going with my first choice. My 2nd daughter is Emersyn, and I always think how the 2 would have gone well together. Ofcourse I don’t dwell on it, and you won’t either, but just go with your gut, your first choice and you’ll be really happy with your decision.

Can’t wait to hear her name!!! :)

L'andR'sMom August 12, 2012 at 3:49 pm

GO WITH IT!! When my daughter was born we were too scared to go with my all time favorite name (not weired but very old fashioned) and put the nice but boring middlename first. After 5 days of not being able to call her by that name ( because clearly it was not hers) we changed it and I AM SO HAPPY we did!!!if you feel its her name thn it is HER NAME!!!!

Katie E. August 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Okay, first of all, we are serious Honest Tea addicts in my home. I think my youngest child is 1% Honest Ade, which I would drink while eating homemade hummus, because the store brand was too salty and I loved chickpeas like I loved breathing the whole time I was pregnant. If it is good for you, and in the South, and people drink it, you know it is amazing.

Now on to the name debate. I had a few rules for my husband when I let him name our second child. I am a former teacher, so use that as an explanation of why I had these rules, and don’t hate me hippie world! The name had to be spelled traditionally, because people do look at random spellings and wonder why the traditional spelling wasn’t good enough when the traditional name was good enough. They do. We also mutually decided to not choose a name that can be spelled ten different ways. My name is Katie. I knew what I was doing with this rule. And finally the name had to be easily pronounceable when being read on a roll sheet in a classroom. That being said my husband chose a name that is different, and met all my criteria for baby naming. I am unashamed to say that I hated it at first. Then I resigned myself to it. And then M was born, and I love it, because it fits him. And to be purely pragmatic look at it this way, if she hates it, she can change it when she turns 18.

Megan August 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Go with your gut. As long as the name was chosen with love, she will feel that and love it too. I wanted to name our son Huck but I knew I wasn’t a strong enough parent to handle that. We changed it to Tucker and I tell him everyday how much I love his name! Point being- you’re her momma and as long as you go with your gut, it is the right choice!

Amy August 12, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I am going to guess based on some of your comments that the name is Logan and I LOVE it. Go with a clearly female middle name, or even spell the first name Loganne or Logann if your really worried people thinking its a boys name…no matter what it is a beautiful and unique name (if my guess is right) and she will grow into a wonderful, strong, and independent woman with that name. It is amazing luck and thus meant to be if you and B both love the same name so stick with your original gut.

Jennifer (yeah - that's not common or anything) August 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm

We named our girls Autumn & Summer – then named our boys Carter & Truman. The only one we received any crap about was Truman. Everyone thought it was too odd, too serious, too surname-ish. Whatever. I thought it reflected truth and honesty – a “true” and loyal man. Sounds a lot like my hubby B actually…

And it was OUR choice. OUR baby. My mom keeps trying to call him “Manny” – hate that. So we ignore it.

For whatever reason I had the name Bennett in my head when you mentioned it was a boy name for your daughter. I am just guessing – maybe I just love the name for a girl.

Best of luck no matter what you name her !

Neely Brown August 12, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I think you should GO FOR IT! If both you and your husband love it- it can’t be that bad! My name is Neely and I have always LOVED how it was a unique name and always felt like it was MINE. We named our daughter Emerson (which is becoming quite popular now- ugh) and were told it was a boy’s name and that she would be teased with “Em’are-sum big boobies” (haha- seriously I will secretly high five any young kid that can figure that out- and high five my daughter for having big boobies) but it’s so perfectly her. Go with it!

Robin @ our semi organic life August 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

What a great post. I can’t wait to hear the famous name when she’s born. I’m sure it’ll fit her perfectly!

I liked honest tea!

Mindy August 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I personally think go with what you like. I also, and don’t hate on me everyone, do not agree with having the middle name something your kid can fall back on. It’s your name, be proud of it. Using our middle name only confuses people and makes it awkward for strangers trying to address you by your name. I boycott normal middle names in lieu of crazy first names. If you are banking on your kid using their middle name, then probably not the right first name….just sayin.. That’s my soapbox ;). Now, I got a lot of crap for naming my daughter, Meg. Yes it is pretty normal but people couldn’t get over the fact that her name wasn’t Megan. I always had to defend her name (I was named after Meg Ryan, she played Mindy on As The World Turns). So see, people have an opinion no matter what. And I caught a lot of crap about our last child’s name, because he/she was going to be Charlie whether our baby was a boy or girl. He is now a happy Charlie ;) Point is…..you have to love and be comfortable about what your babe’s name will be, because you are the one tucking her in every night….not them.

Amy Mac August 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Go with The Name, but don’t tell anyone. Folks can talk crap about names all they want before the baby is born, but once she pops out the only people who openly tell you they hate the name are assholes. Then you can give them a horrified look and ask them WHO TELLS A MOM THEIR NEW BABY’S NAME IS AWFUL?!! In a wounded voice and everyone will glare laser beams of hate at them and they will never live it down.

We went the opposite direction and told EVERYONE our name as soon as he was conceived with the caveat that if they disliked it, they could choke on their judgment and they had nine months to reconcile themselves to the name. It’s Jace Hiro — Jace because I thought it sounded cool, Hiro because that’s my Japanese grandfather’s name. And you know what? If anyone didn’t like it, well, they have never breathed a word to me.

Taylor August 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm

TRUTH – I didn’t have a “real” name for the 1st two weeks of my life. My parents showed up at the hospital with a list of traditional girly names and trashed them the moment I popped out of my mom’s vajingo. Two whole weeks of everyone’s asshole opinion and my name ultimately came from a locksmith company truck that pulled up next to them at a stoplight. I wish I was lying but really, who would make that up.

Sure, there were times that I didn’t like it or wished I could be a Jennifer like the other 75 girls in my class. I might have even cried when my college acceptance letter came and congratulated my parents on the acceptance of their SON to the university…totally happened. But a quick phone called fixed the problem and gave my dad a heart attack when I wondered out loud if the university would “accidentally” mess up my housing assignment too ;)

The point is – shit happens and people are assholes. I personally love my name and am thankful that they thought outside of the box (or truck). And you KNOW YoSHE will have enough spunk and sparkle to crush anyone who mistakes her for a boy. Do it!

Kristen August 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I’m 90% sure I know what the name is based on the clues you gave here and that pic on IG. Its a name i’d consider a “guilty pleasure” and would never use, and here’s why. I hate boy names on girls, trendy names in general (anywhere in the top 100 is too popular for me, and my favorite girl name hasn’t even been in the top 1000 since like 1919) – I’m a total name traditionalist and have pretty much the opposite taste in names from yours. I love old and/or classic names with a strong (like, going way way way back) history of use on one specific sex. And there are definitely ways to go unique while still using a legit girl name (not a surname, place name, boy name, etc). But I see the general tenor of the comments here (“it’s YOUR BABY! All that matters is that YOU like the name!”) and I know most people in life don’t agree with my rigid name rules. I also think the name you love (if I’m right about what I think it is) is perfect for Yoshe, sounds great with your last name, makes a cute sibset with Gavin, and would be considered “cool” on the playground – boy names on girls are super popular and I definitely don’t think she’ll get mocked on the playground. So go for it!

Katie August 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm

We mostly only considered names with a full-name & nick-name for this reason… if the kiddo hates her name in the future, she can use a different version. Is it something that could theoretically be shortened or lengthened for a slightly different version? Or, I see many have suggested a useable middle name?
I say, as long as she has a way out of the name in case she doesn’t like it in the future, it’s fine.
But, honestly, I’m sure the name you picked is beautiful and she’ll love it!

S August 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I know that you aren’t worried about people judging YOU, but are worried about YoSHE dealing with the name her whole life, but she really will be fine. You and B aren’t idiots and picked an awesome name for G, I don’t even need to know the name to know that it’s going to be a good one.
I always love when girls pull off masculine names! A friend named her daughter Charlie and I LOVE it. If you didn’t even originally know it was a boy name, then it must not be an in your face I’m a boy name. You will always regret it and would be pissed if someone else named their daughter that!
I used to love Harper and I LOVE Isla. I’m over Harper since it’s too popular, but I’m having a little bit of trouble letting go of Isla. I’ve loved this name forever, but I knew once I saw it embroidered on a backpack in a PB Kids magazine I had to let it go. I’m not even thinking about having kids yet but I’m already keeping my name a secret. It’s a SERIOUS old lady name so I know everyone will judge it, but I don’t care. I’m probably going to have all boys and won’t need it anyway but whatever!
(also, I just liked Honest Tea on Facebook. I LOVE them because they aren’t too sweet like most teas!)

RaeRae August 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm

As someone going through life with one of the most common names, I say go with whatever you love. I almost beat down my hubs for constantly talking names with his (insane) mom & sisters. My MIL is totally the type to claim the SHE named the baby if we used a name she suggested.

Naming a lil nugget is hard. It’s, like, a major responsibility. I gave up all my faves b/c they’re just too popular now. I didn’t want my daughter to share her name with 3 others in class every year like I did..

Oh and thinking up middle names is tough. We pussed out & just used family names.

Elizabeth August 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm

My gut says you should go with your gut and name her what you love. With some of the names out there, yours can’t be too awful.
However, there are considerations if the name is considered a boy’s name, in my opinion.

1. My friend was the appointment-taker/maker for a busy orthodontist’s office. She would tell me how moms would call and make a new-patient appointment, and would give, say, the name Jack, and when my friend would say, okay, how old is he, the moms would get all huffy and pissy and say “Jack is a GIRL”, like she should have known. Ridiculous. So, if the majority of people are going to assume that by the name, Yoshe is a boy, just go easy on them and nicely explain that she’s actually a girl – or maybe even mention it up front to save them the embarrassment. It’s really not their fault they assumed that Jack was a boy, you know? And keep in mind that she’s going to have to explain that herself a lot, unless the name becomes popular enough for girls that the tide changes.
2. Another friend, Jenny, married Loren. So when people say “Jenny and Loren”, I’m pretty sure most people assume it is a lesbian couple that is being referenced. When Jenny talks about Loren, I’m pretty sure strangers assume she’s talking about her lesbian lover. But, Loren is a guy. So there’s that. If Yoshe marries, she may end up being assumed to be a gay male. Unless she ends up being a lesbian and marries (hopefully it’s legal by then) a woman, then she’ll be assumed to be in a straight relationship. Ironic. Hopefully by then, too, nobody will care about or bat an eye at sexuality.

So just keep in mind that gender neutral and cross-gender names are going to leave you and eventually her with frequent explaining. I don’t know if I would have enjoyed growing up having to always tell people or hear my parents have to tell people that I’m actually a girl. Or face lots of surprise when submitting a resume and subsequently showing up for an interview (I liked that resume comment; good point). Or have to deal with security over the phone, like when dealing with credit card companies or whatever where they verify your identity seventeen ways, and have to be like, “No, I SWEAR TO GOD, I am a woman named Fred. I REALLY AM FRED!! Here’s my soc, my DOB, my mother’s maiden name, my secret password, my last bowel movement, and my bra size. Swear, it’s me.” So maybe be sure to give her a really feminine middle name, or is there some kind of way you can feminize the name you love a little bit? Like add an ‘a’ on the end? Ha.

Morgan August 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I’m not sure I’ve ever needed to explain my gender to someone. Maybe to a telemarketer, but they suck anyway… so…

Amanda B. August 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I had this problem too! I have wanted to name *my daughter* Dylan since I was in sixth grade….everyone but me thinks this is a boys name. Grrr…..well now I have a daughter and my husband would not give in to Dylan or any other name I liked for that matter and now my daughter is 1 of 2,000,000,000,000,000 Olivias born last year….ugh…it’s who she is now….*I’m over it* eyeroll Anyhow I think that if you love the name and B is on board too…..get that shit finalized pre-birthday and don’t look back!

Rebecca August 12, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Ha, when we told a friend that we were thinking about naming our son Dylan (which we did), she said, “oooh, I love that name for a GIRL!” I had never thought about it as a girl’s name, but I do think it would be cute.

jb August 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I love love love Dylan as a girl’s name! It’s not my first choice, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough kids to make it to that name, but I think it’s an awesome girl’s name.

Leann August 13, 2012 at 1:11 pm

My daughters name is Dilyn we actually found the spelling in a baby name book for a girl. She is 9 now and we still love it!! We have to correct people that she is a girl but who cares. We have to correct people on the spelling also. Name her what you want!!!!

Jillian August 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I posted for help on a name when I was pregnant with my now 14 month old. I was on the fence about the name Asher. They didn’t totally tear it apart but they did recommend I use the name Ishmael instead…..uuuummmm….have you read the Bible??? That’s when I decided to screw it and name him whatever I wanted and that I don’t care about the opinion stupid people that I don’t even know. So I say do what you want if you love the name, I’m sure it’s great!!

Erica August 12, 2012 at 4:10 pm

DO NOT WORRY about what other people think. Name your daughter a name that you love, and if you love it, she will love it too. Eventually. I think all kids go through phases of loving and hating their names. We made up our daughter’s name (Audia) and I am sure there are people out there who think it’s awful, but we were (and still are, 4 years later,) confident enough in our decision that nobody has ever said anything negative about it to our faces. If you name her with confidence, she will wear the name with confidence. You know?
If you really are worried about it not being ‘conventional’ enough, then pair it with a conventional middle name. If she goes through a phase where she decides she doesn’t like her name, she can go by her middle name and then go back to her first name because she realizes how cool it really is.

Amanda August 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I went through HELL when I told people I was naming my daughter Kaetana (Kay-tah-nuh). Everyone (and I mean eeeeeveryone) hated it but my husband and me. I considered changing it just to get the world off my back but I decided not to and you know what? I’m so glad I did. It suits her beautifully, and I can’t imagine her with any other name. Go with your gut, and name her what you love. Because I think you’d probably regret it a little bit if you don’t.

Britney is-always Wright August 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Name her whatever you want! I stopped telling people our baby name ideas after about 800 million jerk-offs asked us, “Is that after the actor?” NO, jackasses, it isn’t. But after that, we decided not to use that name, and I didn’t tell another person the names we picked.

Name your baby what YOU want to. If you love her name, and you are proud of it, she will be, too.

Audrey August 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

MODG, please tell me you didn’t ask people on Baby Center? Also, I agree with everyone who says to wait until the baby is born before you tell people her name. My husband really wanted to name our daughter Sasha, and I love the name too. A lot of our friends and family were less than impressed by it though, so we just told them that we hadn’t decided yet. When Sasha was born, no one had anything bad to say. I mean, who is going to be THAT asshole? Also one of the reasons I love my husband so much is that he is oblivious to everyone’s opinion. Except mine.

Janet August 12, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Yeah, agreed, keep it secret ’til the kid is born and that birth certificate form is filled out. We told a few people long before we ever got pregnant what our favorite girl name was (Meredith) and ended up using it. But, while I was pregnant, we came up with a shortlist of backups in case kid came out and the name didn’t feel right. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, from grocery store checkout clerks to Goodwill donation center workers, wanted to know what I was naming her and had an opinion on what I should name her. So, I just told them something outlandish: Thorberta – “Oh, it’s the feminine derivative of Thor. We thought it was so classic and strong.” It was great to watch people stammer and try to come up with a great response to THAT. If it was someone I knew, I’d then let them know I was kidding and inform them that we had a shortlist, but weren’t sharing our choices until kid was born. That seemed to pacify most of them.

Nathalie August 12, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Thorberta… that’s amazing! I might have to try that when I am pregnant again… :)

Kim August 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

My 2 and a half year old daughters name is Bennett. I really did not give a tiny panda fart what anyone thought of the name when we decided on it. It is a boys name… and my mother in law doesn’t know how to say it, so she just calls her Bennie (which is her nickname). It is pronounced ben-it, just like it looks.
Like the others, I say GO FOR IT… unless it is really is Penelepoop.

Michelle W August 12, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I was dying to name our 1st daughter Quincy…I had even gotten the husband to consider it (shocking). I also made the mistake of asking a “naming group/board” what they thought about it and was torn a new one. Out of like 50 comments, not ONE was nice. People are such bitches. Long story short, most people are going to dislike whatever name you pick IF you tell them before the baby is born…but once they see the baby, it’s all “oh, what a perfect name, she’s SUCH a Quincy/Katie/etc”.

Side note: We weren’t going to tell anyone the middle name till the husband got home from deployment. Then my parents got a puppy and decided our secret name would be a great dog name. That was a fun conversation telling them to rename their pet.

Stacy August 12, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I was pleased with the not super popularity of my first daughter’s name only it was published in the damn pottery barn kids halloween catalogue. Great. Seal of death. I get mixed reviews but I don’t care. I don’t think her name is so weird that it will hold her back and sometimes I have to repeat it to people but whatever. Now with my twins my grandmother did say both were boy names and I will tell you one is Harper. Grandmothers are just not hip on the kids names anymore.

On the masculinity of whatever you’re thinking- there are plenty of “normal” names that are masculine that are used on girls. If you guys are both in agreement on a name- which is most of the battle between husband and wife- then go with it. Just start calling the baby that out loud and see how it sits with you. I think that helps. Your not going to please everyone so do what makes your family happy. I know someone who named their daughter Tempe after her mother.

Elisa August 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I know. It’s hard to pick the right name.

I personally like somewhat original names but I tend to relegate them to the middle name position. For the first name, I wanted something pretty, something both out families (German speaking on one side, Italian on the other) could pronounce. Something that wouldn’t be misspelled easily. And something that our daughter would hopefully not hate.

I wanted to name our first daughter Andromeda – I love Greek mythology and I love that name. Now I thank all the stars in the firmament that my husband vetoed it. It wouldn’t have fit her as a first name, and while Sarah can be said to be kind of boring, it somehow works great for our lovely, unassuming, chilled, feminine-but not-girly 13-year old.

With #2 it happened again.

I’d say: forget what everyone says. Kind of. Meaning: if you love the name, if you think it fits, if you can imagine maybe being called that and going through life with that name… stick with it. But take into consideration that your daughter will basically be surrounded by the kids of the people who criticized the name online… would they have reason to tease her?

Either way, she is yours to name. Definitely don’t give her a name you don’t really like! Best of luck :-)

Laura August 12, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Sloane. Yes?

Megan August 12, 2012 at 6:47 pm

That is one of my favorite girl names! Alas, I will never get to use it because our last name is Rone. Unless I get a new husband….. Now there’s a thought! Our girl name will be Hadley Camille if I ever have to have one (I am very partial to my boy and want more just like him!) but feel free to use it if you’re so inclined!

amy August 12, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I work at a hospital and a person named, I mean actually named thier baby–even after discussion about said name…………….are ya ready for it? Gonorrhea. So, there is a little baby running around (ok, probably crawling) named after a STD. So, your name…………whatever it is, is golden. Go for it!!

Aisha August 12, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Okay, as you can see I have a crazy name. Not only is it crazy, my dad pronounced it wrong so it’s not even said like it usually is. Everyone thinks I’m black when they read my name and I’m the whitest white person you’ll ever see. People are shocked when they meet me for the first time if they’ve heard/seen my name beforehand. But, I love my name. I wouldn’t want to have a friend with the same name as me ever. No Isabella, Emily, Christina for me.

When we named our first daughter, we didn’t want anything too crazy either but we wanted it to be unique. So, we named her Cezanne. We thought it was beautiful but not weird or hard to say or spell. You know what? Everyone spells it wrong and pronounces it wrong and she hates it.

The moral of my story is that you can’t control other people and their reactions. I say name her “THE” name that you just can’t get out of your head. You’ll know when it’s “the one”. Keep an open mind until she’s born to other names that might come along and be even better than the one you have picked out already but DO NOT change your mind because of other people’s opinions. You can’t make everyone happy.

p.s. We found that old cemeteries were great places to find names. I know it sounds creepy but there’s some GREAT old names in them.

Jessica August 12, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Im going w Devon. I think the name is Devon. But I also think that whatever the name is will be absolutely beautiful and other people always wanted to give unsolicited advice about these sorts of things. So whatever to them!!

Devon August 13, 2012 at 12:03 am

I grew up as a Devon (pronounced Devin) and went through a very long period of time where I hated it and begged my parents to change it. Now as an adult, I LOVE it and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love that it’s unique but still classic and I actually think its kinda cool that people think I’m a guy before they meet me. The only thing that really peeves me is when people mispronounce it and call me Devawn…really people?? But I give kudos to my parents for having the guts to go outside the norm. I say trust your gut and don’t look back.

Rebecca August 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

So before I joined the mommyhoood, I was a freshman English teacher, which has given me some strong opinions on name choices. A name that is is unique or sort of androgynous or even masculine is usually ok….there will always be some confusion, maybe, but not a huge deal. What makes me crazy are names that are super hard to pronounce or are spelled crazy. Not all, but MOST of the kids that I taught with names that had unclear pronunciations looked like they wanted to die or punch someone when people tried to say it. For instance, I have a friend who recently named her son Rhys. Apparently it’s Welsh. Everyone who saw the name typed/written was completely clueless about how to say it, which is like Reece. And of course, that’s how people who hear the name automatically assume it’s spelled. So why not just name the kid Reece????

I will also say that, for the most part, my females students were more ok with having unusual names that the male ones.

Honest Tea is awesome…I have one every day!

leslie August 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

pick what you love. I hear people complain just as much about having a too traditional/common name as a too weird name. you just really can’t predict how your kid will feel, or how her potential employers, classmates, etc. will feel… you just can’t! so as long as it’s not something with major teasing potential or a horribly youneek spelling, I say GO FOR IT! good luck modg :)

Meg August 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Go with The name. Seriously. We nicknamed our kid Izzy. Nicknamed. And I heard about it for months from every single family member above 50. My grandmother made sure to email me pictures of the only other Izzy she claimed to know….her friend’s dog. Whatever. She is Izzy. And so what if she’ll be one of a million Izzy’s in her class, but the only one not actually named Isabelle?

Katie Donley August 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm

My grandchildren are: Exodus Vaughn, Levi Athon, Isaac Nathaniel, Seth Malachi, Vincent Aiden, Laela Jane, Evan Charles and soon-to-be-born Zion Elijah. Don’t ask.
Go with your gut and do NOT give in to peer pressure! (not that any of those naysayers are your peers!)
Safe and speedy labor and delivery…
K.T.

Tracee August 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Go with your gut and choose THE name for no other reason than you love it and you felt like it was THE name when you picked it. We named our second son Leo, after my husband’s grandfather (Leonard. I was not using Leonard for our child. Not at all.) Yes, it’s “different” but we loved it and it felt like THE name. It didn’t get the warmest reception and even my father in law was all “Leo?!” (his father was Leonard, who we named the baby after). But guess what, he OWNS that name now. Leo is 100% a Leo and he has made it the coolest name because he is the coolest kid. Maybe he will get made fun of for having that name, but guess what? Kids make fun of each other for a million reasons you can’t even predict. So why worry now about that?

Steph August 12, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Full disclosure: i recognize that i’m the asshole in this story. I’ve since learned to shut my mouth.

When I found out what my friend named her kid after she was born, my first response was (without even thinking) “you can still change it, right?” but fast forward to 5 years later and I couldn’t imagine her name being anything else. Moral of the story: name your kid what you think is beautiful and she’ll make it her own.

Lisa August 12, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Go with THE name. You have to. Unless it’s misspelled, then I side with the babycenter bitches who called you out.

Penelope was on our short list for my daughter, but I’m glad we didn’t go with it. #1, it didn’t feel quite right, and #2, I’m a snob and relieved my daughter doesn’t share a name with Kardashian spawn. We went with THE name, and almost 20 months later, I am still crazy in love with it. It is the perfect name for her and we get so many compliments. Great names you love are hard to find! Stick with the one you love. Unless it’s misspelled.

ps – I love Honest Tea. I met some of their employees at a trade show once, and they were all SO nice. They really are a good company.

Heather August 12, 2012 at 4:49 pm

OK… it’s YOUR baby. You (and B) get to name her. That being said, as parents you have three naming responsibilities:
1) Go to the back door. Yell the name really loud, like you are calling her in for dinner. Does it sound good?
2) Imagine her on the playground. Will it (or its nicknames or her initials) get her made fun of? ‘Cause you don’t want to be the little girl whose initials spell ASS or CNT or FCK or anything horrible.
3) Imagine her as a serious professional at age 30. Will the name get her in trouble because it’s too cute?
If the name passes all these tests, GO for it. That’s my 2 cents. Now do what YOU want.
ps I LOVE Honest Tea. Glad to see them supporting one of my favorite blogs!

Morgan August 12, 2012 at 4:54 pm

If your daughter really hates her name then when she is older she can change it to whatever she wants, granted it will cost her a couple hundred bucks and a trip to the court house but if she really doesn’t like she can make that choice. My fiance/unborn baby daddies family all seem to go by a couple names (drove me crazy at first trying to figure out who was whom) His name is Gary Lee, named after his dad, but to make things easier around the house everyone just called him Lee. Since meeting him I have called him Gary but to make sure that people do not get confused I have to remember to call him Lee when with his family. Two of his sisters also go by different names then was they were born with and one has even had hers legally changed from Chris to Triana. So my point to all this is, is that she is going to do what she wants with her name whether you agree or not. So you might as well be happy with no regrets while you still have a choice in the matter. :)

lisa007 August 12, 2012 at 4:55 pm

When it comes to names, even the most polite people seem to start foaming at the mouth when presented with ideas for baby names! Seriously, I have seen girls go ape shit over someone “stealing” someone else’s name that they picked out when they were six. Or, you get those people who say, oh, I like the name but my super faboo husband’s roommate’s sister was named that and she was a raving lunatic, so if you name your kid that she is destined to be sent to a padded room in the loony bin before she turns 30. Then, you actually believe that this is possible and you give up the name.
Whatevs.

I work at a university and the names I see coming across my faculty roster every semester just keep getting more and more bizarre. This past semester, I had a student named Denim. I digress.
The point is that you will make the right decision when you meet her. Some people pick out great names and then after they meet the baby, it just doesn’t fit. My mom was going to name me Desiree (super 70′s tastic) but after I was born, she looked at me and said it didn’t seem right. I was unnamed for a week before she settled on Lisa.
Go with your gut, MODG.

Honest Tea is on sale at my store and I was hesitant to buy some because I didn’t know anyone who had tried it yet. I would love a case to share with my husband, who is not allowed to have high fructose corn syrup. It’s hard to find drinks without it. I will head to their FB page and like right now!

G August 12, 2012 at 5:00 pm

With so many great baby name stories I had to share. First of all name your child whatever you want!!!! I am a teacher, so believe me I have heard them all, from strawberry(yes seriously) to sunshine, pickle, and a bunch I could never pronounce-just do what you want for your child. My name is kinda crazy but my mom loved it and I’m named after her mom so it’s boss. My first son is named after my husband, a jr, but I made sure to write the second on the birth certificate so their was no calling him junior. My second son, due any day, will be named after my father, who was named for his grandfather, named after his father, etc.. It’s been in the family over 5 generations, and I love it. It’s Peter, old school, classic, and I think strong for a man but still cute for a boy. I was told by my sister in law not to name my son Peter. Yeah she says that, out loud. To a very pregnant I could eat you for lunch person, holding a baby with your brothers exact name. The reason? She doesn’t know any peters and she has a lot of “contacts” in her phone. Yes that was the actual reason. So rather then explaining how old the name is in my family and how important it is to me, and my daddy, and not to mention her brother really likes the name, I told her mom on her and asked her not to come around until she apologizes. This was 2 months ago. So I say f@$k anyone who doesn’t like your baby name, your the one creating life, peeing every 3 minutes, and getting strech marks. Plus your kid-your rules. And my sons middle name will be after my grandfather whom I was very close with that passed just before my first son was born. So the name is staying, and I’m in eff u if u don’t like it mode.

The Other Jen August 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm

MODG,

I’m sorry those internet strangers gave you the prego sads. I’ll never understand why other people think it’s okay to tear someone apart. You gave your son a great name, and I have full confidence that you’re not going to scar your daughter for life with whatever you choose. One of my students is named Brett and SHE loves her name. It’s not a big issue for her. I think Yoshe would much rather be a Penelepoop than have to write “the other Jen” because there’s too many of the same-named people. You get it – how many Amandas did you know?

Try to picture your little girl at different stages with her name: tiny baby looking up at you with big eyes, 4 year old girl with shiny dark hair (she’s so lucky to have you and B pass down your hair genes), 16 year old that rolls those same big eyes, 28 year old getting married, 33 year old having kids, 62 year old baking cookies for her grandkids…she’s going to be this amazing person and I just know that all of this worry FOR HER and not just for yourself means that she’s going to have a wonderful family that loves and adores her. Whatever name you choose, Yoshe will love. Because her mommy gave it to her, and she loves you already.

Oh, and if you want to give her a unique middle name too, do it. I’m so sick of people saying you have to give her a “normal” middle name to compensate. I think Penelepoop Labia-Louboutin D. sounds beautiful.

Oh, picture G trying to say it. How cute is that?

Ms.V August 12, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I agree about going with what you love. BUT. Coming from someone with a whacked-out name…please, please, please make it easily pronounceable. My name is different and pretty and I really do like it. However, I’ve gone my whole life being called everything but what my name really is because it’s hard to pronounce and most people are assholes who don’t care enough to try. In that regard, I HATE my name because I’m never actually called it correctly. So different is good, but hard to pronounce is sad for the kid.

And from a teacher viewpoint… “unique” spellings make me roll my eyes. BrynAn… LaKeyia… why?

Amy of "famed" Pregnant Chicken August 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I can guarantee that she will hate her name at some point.
I can also guarantee that plenty of people will hate it too.
All that said, if you name her something that is reflective of you and your husband (like your Mom liking Aja) then it will suit her and it will act as a little beacon to likeminded people that will say, “I love that name.”
Go with your gut and the haters can snack on a bowl full of dicks.

julie s. August 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm

This is so perfectly said!

Aubrey August 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Thank you for posting this. It makes me feel better that people are going through a similar thing as me. Let me start off by saying that my due date is TODAY and I am still here second guessing myself. When my husband and I found out we were pregnant back in December, we decide we wouldn’t find out the gender of the baby. So four months down the road we finally came up with a name for a boy and a name for a girl. He and I both do not have generic, basic names; therefore we wanted our child to also have a different and unique name. Plus, we wanted to share the sadness of never being able to find a license plate with their name on it for the bicycle like we had. Who really wants a name that you can find a bike license plate for anyways? Back to my original thought. Me being the teacher I am, I analyzed every single name we came up with and we came up with two fail proof names that we both fell in love with. Then we made the biggest mistake of my pregnancy… We told our parents. We thought it would be special to share the possible names of their first (on both sides) unborn grandchild. We did not get a good response. To the point where one of our family member said if we name it one of the names, they will not call the baby by its name, but call it “Hey Kid”. My heart breaks every time I think of it. We heard that this kid won’t get a job because of these names and so on. Simply because it isn’t named Mary or Jimmy (No offense if you are named that, we were looking for really unique). I feel so much better knowing people have dealt with the same thing. We love te names we have chosen. It is encouraging. I know I will dwell on these names until this baby is born and the name is on the birth certificate. But who are others to judge? We know our babies the best, we’ve been housing them for 9 months and we know their personlity. Thank you for sharing this, as I know that even though I love my child’s name and everyone else doesn’t, the only thing that truly matters is that my baby is healthy and loved.

Malisams August 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Dude, I hear you. We’re in the same boat (I think you and I might just be weeks apart, actually). I made the mistake of telling some people the name I’m totally sold on for our fetus ninja, and more than one made a face and made some dickass comment about him getting stuffed in a locker or beat up. Which, first of all, I totally don’t buy. This name is one badass name. Like, werewolf on True Blood badass. (No, it’s not a werewolf from True Blood name.) Anyway, I say fuck the naysayers. If you and B like the name and think that your daughter will probably dig it too, go with it. Besides, once she’s here, everyone’s going to fall all over themselves loving her and showering her with attention and “OMG SHE IS SO CUTE” and her name probably won’t stop anyone from doing it.

But seriously, don’t name her Hemorrhoid.

eileen marie August 12, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Haters gonna hate. This smells like a Madison/Addison/Morgan/(possibly Wrigley) situation. Unless it’s a name that’ll scar her for life (but b/c it’s you, we all know it ain’t), go for it, MODG! You’ll regret it if you don’t!

Malisams August 12, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Forgot to mention that I heart Honest Tea and had already liked them on Facebook a while back. The Honey Green is my favorite. I want to win. MAKE ME A WINNER.

Erin August 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Is it a real name? (Please say you didn’t make it up.) And just spell it CORRECTLY!!! Our language has rules, throwing in K’s and Y’s and Z’s do not make names “unique”, they make them illiterate. So if you have to go with a “unique” name, make it a properly spelled name. I wouldn’t so much worry about people judging you, but people often meet a name before a person. I search through grad applications and I think different things (even though I try SO hard not to) about a Mistiey than I do an Amanda. Throw in misplaced apostrophes, k’s, and too many vowels, and I’ll be doing my best, but subconscious bias be damned!

I was once on one of those anonymous sites and someone said they were going to name their daughter Milan, but was going to spell it “Milon” so “people knew how to pronounce it.” Hiding the “she’s-going-to-be-a-stripper” judgment, I wrote that she could probably stick to the correct spelling as most people know how to pronounce that city’s name. Her reply, “It’s a city?” WTF. Google the sh*t out of the name. And if you name your daughter Milon and don’t know that Milan is a city, than I’m correct in my judgment of you.

When I see made-up or mispelled names, I immediately assume the parents are from Utah or are trashy. And a unique name does not make a unique kid. Use a real name and spell it correctly, and I will not judge. (But F-you Jessica Simpson for naming your daughter Maxwell Drew. Stupid. Though I’m shocked she didn’t name her Mackswyll.)

Kristen S. August 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm

We had a little girl back in October. I spent weeks coming up with a name and had finally decided on Ryan Claire. I love Ryan for a girl. However, my sisters did not. And they were very very VERY vocal about their hatred of my favorite name. I was crushed!! I couldn’t imagine having a baby whose aunts actually hated her name. So then I started going back and forth and back and forth. We picked a secondary name and in the end went with that one, Zoey Noelle. Now I love my daughter no matter what her name but I do regret not sticking to my guns and using the original name. So my advice is name her whatever the heck you want because once she is out in the world no one will ever say they dislike her name and if she hates it she can change it when she’s 18! :)

the other Jen August 13, 2012 at 2:34 am

Haha I have a 6 month old we named Claire Noelle. Nice choice in names :)

kelly August 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Go with THE name. If its special and you love it then she will too. Then you’ll never be able to picture her as anything else! People tell me all the time my daughter has a boy name (Taylor!?) It’s rude, none of their business, and I love her name and couldn’t picture her anything but Taylor!

Michael August 12, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I am a girl Michael. My parents didn’t even try to make it more feminine by changing the spelling, they just went for it. I am named after my Mom’s childhood best friend, who was also a girl Michael. Take it from me, I don’t recall a single kid teasing me for my name, but adults suck. I had teachers tease me and even now as an adult, when I meet someone I know whats coming, the “Did your parents want a boy?” or “Is your brother named Sue?” Yes, it gets old, but everyone I have ever known has said they can’t imagine me with any other name. It just fits.
I agree with everyone else, go with your gut. You will be disappointed if you don’t. Your daughter will grow up to love her name and enjoy not having to use her last initial because they have 5 kids in class that share the same name. :)

Steff August 12, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I totally agree! I am a girl Steffen, and I love that my name is so different. No one has ever made fun of me, and I have only had to deal with pronunciation issues like ” is your name Steven?” I really think having a name that wasn’t typical helped shape me into a confidant, creative person.
MODG go with your gut! I love my “boys” name :)

Rikki August 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm

My name is Rikki Alex- technically it could very much be a boy’s name- but I love it. It was great growing up and being the only Rikki. I’m so happy my mom went with her instinct and didn’t cave to a “normal name.”

marissa August 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm

People like people with a bit off beat names. It’s cool. It’ll make your kid cool. Do it.

Kara August 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Growing up my dog’s name was Aja. No joke! Names are tough but whatever you go with will fit her. I like the not so popular names too- she’ll be happier to have something different than being the 6th Sophie in her class :)

Eri August 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm

So we completely caved. We wanted to name our second daughter Lola Danger but everyone told us that would just lead to a life spent on the pole. We ended up naming her after my grandmother (R.I.P) and I love it but there is still a tiny part of me that thinks of her as a Lola Danger as she is totally a baby badass already. P.S. – I hear Suri is a good choice

Amy Mac August 13, 2012 at 11:32 am

My cousin named his son Charlie Danger and it is AWESOME. I tried and tried to convince the huz to let me give our son the middle name Danger, to keep it going in the family, but to no avail. I love Lola Danger!

Lauren August 12, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I know it really sucks when people completely crap on something you are excited and proud about. Whether is is a baby name, a house you like or the major you decide on in college. Honestly, screw everyone else and their opinions. If you LOVE the name, go for it. After going down a list of approximately 300 girl’s names with my husband, we finally agreed on one so I know how rare it is when you both agree on something. My daughter’s name is super normal (Chloe) but I still get insanely angry when people say, is it “K-H-L-O-E?” and I scream “No, she’s not a Kardashian!!!” Damn those Kardashians. I say keep your 1st choice name and keep the 2nd choice at the back of your mind. When you see Yoshe, you can figure out if she really looks like a “Name A” or “Name B” suits her better.
In the meantime, kick back and relax (if that’s even possible) and drink some Honest drinks. I love their Honey Green Tea and (Not too sweet) Tea.

Amber August 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Screw the haters. If it’s THE name, then it’s THE name. It will suit her b/c it’s the one y’all chose for her. If you love it, then she’ll love it, and everyone else can suck it. Not their kid, not their problem. Go with the one you love. Don’t give her a back-up name just b/c it’s more universally liked, especially if it’s one neither of you are crazy about. And if she for reals hates it, she can always change it when she’s a grown up and blame you for everything in very expensive therapy :)

Jen August 12, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Name her THE name! Do it. We had a fab girl name picked out and I’m hoping I still get to use it one day since baby #1 was a boy (Colby Ward, people think we named him after cheese). I think boy names for girls are great, I think anything unique but not weird is great…but that’s coming from a Jennifer with 3 sisters whose names are Melissa, Amy, and Katie…super original mom and dad!

Cheryl S. August 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Use a name you love. Fuck everyone else. But, if you are worried it’s “masculine” then give her a girly middle name. If she doesn’t appreciate the first name, she can be Ms. M. Candysparklerainbows Lastname when she’s older.

And, it wouldn’t matter what you said the name was. My daughter’s name is Jessica. When I told people before she was born, I got told everything from “it’s an old lady name” to “it sounds like a stripper” Now, she’s just Jessica.

kimberly August 12, 2012 at 5:59 pm

You should totally name her what you and B feel is right for Yoshe! Everyone has their own opinion and at some point in her life someone is not gonna like her name. If it is unique, she will be remembered. (it’s up to you, her parents, to be sure she’s remembered more for the good stuff than the bad! lol) Even though G had more than his share of “difficult baby days” (per your blog, not judging!) I don’t think your readers have sworn off never naming their child G! Do NOT ask the internets about what to name your baby – it will never end well. As an online celebrity, you have a responsibility to name your girl something amazing! (no pressure!)
Try it like this: say her name soft and lovingly – do you love it? now scream it (like you just found raw eggs in your favorite shoes) still love it? now say it 1200 times (like she’ll say “mom”) still feel that warm feeling like “that’s MY daughter’s name”!??? then that’s the one for you! :) good luck. Can’t wait to hear what you decide.

keltie August 12, 2012 at 6:04 pm

this is obviously zero of my business but since I have a non-popular name, i feel like I am a phd in these matters. I was a scheduled c-section, so the night before, my parents went out to Swiss Chalet (all your Canadian readers will understand that reference) and flipped through year books to try to find a name to agree on (the 70s were a pre-baby name book era and my dad kept suggesting old girlfriend names (Linda. vomit) and my mom was exhausted (my older brother is 13 mos older than me. let that percolate for a minute.) and hormonal and was pushing hyphenated french names (Marie-France). Shit could have very easily gone sideways for me. Especially considering my mom went to catholic convent schools growing up. But there was a nice Irish girl named Keltie O’Byrne in my mom’s class (grade 4?) and so here we are. Was I able to get pencils or erasers with my names on them in grade school like all my friends? No. Did people mispronounce it eventhough it’s spelled phonetically? Yes. Did I get “Keltie Smeltie” taunts as a child? Yes. But guess what? This is the new millenium, you can get anything printed on anything. You can weed out the unintelligent, Darwin-style, if anyone mispronounces or mispells. And kids are f*cking geniuses at rhyming, so any name can be made fun of and is no reason to toss a name you love.

that was an unnecessarily long explanation as to why I say, dig a hole, say your cherished name into that hole, cover the hole with dirt and tell no one. Then, after she pops out on a surfboard of rad-tasticalness, name her that!

the end.

Tracy August 12, 2012 at 9:47 pm

This is the winning response.

Stacey August 12, 2012 at 6:10 pm

F’em its your name if you and the B both love it GO FOR IT
your back up name can be the middle name
ps, kids r kids it doesn’t matter if its a name or not if they want to they will find a reason to pick on her
Just don’t name her Donger or anything and you’ll be good ;-)

Helen August 12, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Screw what those strangers think. Go with it. Don’t tell anyone else until she comes out and then they will all love it. That is at least what I am hoping for because we have picked out a name for our girl that is due next week and I am sure if I told the catty bitches on my drama-ridden birth forum what it was or if I told friends or family, I would get real shit for it. I mean, can you imagine someone giving you shit once she is here, though?? Surely not. I will let you know how this plan goes after next week. Oh god, I am having a baby next week. Shit.

Natalie August 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm

When I was pregnant, I would tell everyone the names I had picked for my daughter & ALWAYS got the same response, “Oh.. That’s, um, different.”

You know what? It was my vagina & my DNA. The only person I even listened to their opinion on was my hubs b/c it was also half of his DNA. Although, I had final say b/c I was the one with the vagina.

And now? Everybody LOVES her name. I get told repeatedly how it’s unique w/o being too odd & could they borrow it one day for their own kids.

So, name your baby whatever you want.

Alyssa August 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

People are jerks. Not sure why anyone thinks that asking for their opinion is reason to slaughter something. If you were asking about said name it should have been obvious to someone that you like it and be mindful of feelings. Hah! I picked Spencer (my maiden name) for my boy long before I was even married. Hubby was not having it no matter how much I pleaded. We have an Ashton instead which suits, but I do get the pang sometimes since I def feel like I settled. Don’t settle!!!!

julie carter August 12, 2012 at 6:23 pm

MODG. I feel like if you picked, not like, but loved it and you and your husband both loved it (which is huge btw) then use… bc you pick really good stuff and like really good stuff…. just saying. So just go celebrity on all of us and choose a not so common name that we will all LOVE bc we all love you and yoshi. So go for it woman!!!!

Crystal Faith August 12, 2012 at 6:24 pm

You and B are this little girl’s parents. If you support her and love her and give her the confidence to own her name, she will love it. My parents thought of naming me something completely different to appease my grandmothers, and right after I was born my dad named me Crystal Faith because he said that my eyes sparkled, and I was the prettiest thing he had ever seen beside my mom (whose middle name is Faith). I love that story because it makes me feel special. Go into the delivery room with names in your head, and then look at your baby girl: you know, more than anyone, how much plans change when real life is involved, but everything works out for the best in the end.

Signed,
The highly-successful adult who is proud of her “stripper” name.

Holly August 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm

We had a son 6 weeks ago. We said we weren’t going to tell anyone his name until birth. Like you, I got nervous. We asked a few people. Boy did we get some negative responses. My sister in law straight up told us not to do it. My mother in law told my hubs, don’t worry u can change ur mind before u send in paperwork. We went for it. F them all. We love it!! Finley Myles. Finn for short. How can anyone not love it!?!?! They have said nothing since. Do what u want. No regrets

Leslie August 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Go with The Name, your gut instinct. You are obviously going to have a unique, opinionated, and beautiful daughter who will make even the weirdest name work for herself. Frankly, I’m thankful for ANYONE who doesn’t name their baby Kiley or Kailie or Makyla or Mikaela or any of those confusing M/K names. Enough already.

Maggie August 12, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I say use it. Lots of current girl names used to be boy names (Kelsey, Stacy, Kelly…lots more out there). You are just ahead of the curve on your particular name. In thinking ahead on the resume thing, having a traditionally male name might even be an advantage given that our society is still male biased in many ways….and may help people to remember her. Can’t wait to hear what it is!

Eva August 12, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I wish I knew the name you’re thinking of. Everything you’re feeling and experiencing, so did I. For years I thought I’d name my daughter Rebecca, but then when we found out it was a girl, we immediately switched to Paisley. Out of no where. Fell in love. Most liked it, some criticized it, and they can go fuck themselves. Now that she’s here (one month old), it suits her.

And while I thought it was quite feminine, the receptionist at the doctor’s office continues to assume she’s a boy, despite her dress, based on her name alone. People are dumb

Go for it! We took a chance on an unusual, not-always-loved name, and I’m so glad we did!

justjenny August 12, 2012 at 6:53 pm

You know whatever name you give her she is going to hate, regardless, right? If you choose boring “Mary” she will wish she had exotic “Vanessa”. If you choose exotic, she will wish for something boring. Especially when she is a preteen. Either way, you can’t win, so give her the name you will love saying and hearing for the rest of your life and won’t have regrets about.

Sayward August 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Also, just wanted to say, we named our son Waits (after Tom) and nobody has EVER said anything bad to my face, even though I’m absolutely certain that many people think we’re batshit crazy and ohmigod job interviews and all that shiz. But people will judge any name, I know that. The point is they’ve never said anything to me, and they’ve never said anything to my little guy, and the name suits him PERFECTLY and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But this one time I did find somebody talking about me on a snark website (I’m a blogger) and they said that my son’t name was “ridiculous hipster bullshit” or something along those lines. I loled.

Also, just throwing it out there, I think Logan is a fantastic name. I grew up knowing boy Logans and girl Logans and the girls were way cooler. Like, waaaaay cooler. Logan is an adorable name for a little girl and a beautiful, strong name for a beautiful, strong woman. You know, just sayin’ . . .

MODG August 12, 2012 at 7:30 pm

it’s not Logan :-)

Sierra August 12, 2012 at 6:56 pm

My name is Sierra and back in 1983 it was just plain weird. To top it off, my mom gave me the same middle name that her sister has…Rae. Not too bad but then she decided to spell it Wray!!! Really, come on! There is a town in Colorado called Wray and the pants Wrangler so it totally makes sense, right?
When she was pregnant with my sister, I was 4 at the time, I voted for kitchen if it was a girl and pick-up if it was a boy. My mom will deny it to her death but she was actually considering pick-up for a boy. Thank God she was a girl and was named Savannah. Pick-up or Kitchen defiantly would have gotten an ass-kicking on the playground.

Kelly August 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm

My baby girl is due the same time, and it’s so hard! We aren’t telling anyone but I honestly can’t decide. Hubs picked a very unique one and I honestly just don’t know if I can picture calling her that. SIGH.

court August 12, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Go with your initial favorite. You won’t regret it.
My kids are Bram and Tessie Mayes. The only thing I hate is the fact that I have to repeat it several times. And my poor daughter has such a long ass name to learn to spell. But for the most part people always comment on the uniqueness.

Rachael August 12, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I can’t believe that you had such bad reception of your name. I feel like we live in an era where unique names are coveted!! Even today’s more popular names were “unusual” a few years ago. There weren’t any Ava’s or Peyton’s when I was growing up! I think you need to chalk this up to the fact that the people on that site didn’t know you and didn’t know YoShe. You know internet bitches be bitches, so forget it. I’m a teacher when when I get kids with unusual names I always ask about where it came from and if they like it, and I have NEVER had a student who said they hated their unique name. It’s a source of pride. Let her be who she is supposed to be. It would be so sad to regret going with what you really felt was right. I think some day she will thank you.

And I can’t wait to hear what it is!!!!

Marrisa August 12, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Whatever the name is, she will love it at points in her life, and she will hate it at points in her life. It’s all part of growing up! Kids always find something to dislike about themselves, especially when they can blame it on their parents. If she truly hates it when she’s older, she can go change it. If you and your husband love it, go for it! You’re the ones who will have to call the name 987r4938749374392 times as she’s growing up!

Steph August 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

When I had my 2nd daughter we had 2 names picked out. When she was born my husband and I took one look at her and neither of those names fit! So we came up with something else. Sometimes you don’t know until you meet your little one:)

On a side note…When I was pregnant I was the first of our group (like 8 couples). One member of our group (who had just gotten pregnant, I was like 7 months along) said they wanted to get together since all 8 of us ladies were pregnant. So we all show up to this house and this couple sits us all down and says hands us all a list of names (like 50 names) that we are not “allowed” to pick from because this is their name list and we can’t “poach” their names. Seriously.

Kelly August 12, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Ps… If u asked people on a babycenter forum or something like that those group of women are some of the most ignorant, uneducated people so I wouldn’t take their advice! Just saying.

Michelle August 12, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I love Honest T too! I haven’t seen Honest Ade in stores I shop at yet, but it sounds yummy, so I’m definitely going to be on the lookout for it!

For the name …go with what you guys love. I don’t have any kids, but am an aunt and have a zillion friends with kids, so I’ve seen some of them go through the exact same thing. Some people hated my nephews name and let it be known that they thought it was weird. Now that he’s been born, the name-haters have changed their tune and actually like the name now….and they love him!
I actually liked the name from the beginning, but I always tell my family/friends going through the great name debate that they have to go with what they like and not listen to everyone else. It’s one thing to get opinions, but you can’t let other people name your kids, even if they are family members “trying to be helpful.” She is your baby, not theirs, so you get to name her whatever you guys want. All the name-haters can keep their hateful thoughts to themselves, or you can just let Yoshe puke on them after she’s born…that’ll fix them :) Shoot, the name is the only thing with a kid that you have complete control over anyway!
My brother did sit down and take all their potential names and think up what mean nicknames the kids on the playground could potentially call him…they ruled a few names out that way.
We’ll just have to wait a few months until you get to reveal to us just how awesome the name is (I have no doubt it is an awesome name) and just how cute she is!

Bryna August 12, 2012 at 7:23 pm

First, never trust the opinion of women on birth boards who ask dumb questions about loosing their mucous plug and if that means they are in labor. Those sites are 80% weirdos and 20% normals. Weirdos hate on the normals as often as they can. I say this only points to the fact that the name is really super cool. And I grew up with a weird name… no one can pronounce it and I never meet anyone else with it. I love that it’s unique because so am I. Name that baby girl what feels right to you and B!

Bek W August 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Ugh I HATE people commenting on names when you’re pregnant! I love unusual names but my partner and his family are so against it! His sister especially makes it known she thinks the names I like are stupid! At least his mother doesn’t say anything but you should see the look on her face! I’m glad my family is more open to different names, although my mum pushes her preferences (names we haven’t picked nor like!) after saying all this it’s funny to say our sons name is Jack David, but that’s because my Pa’s name was Jack and he passed away just when I found out I was pregnant, and my partner was adament he wanted the middle name after his dad, I was like eh about this (he’s still alive and well and already has a grandson named after him) but I didn’t mind too much. I’m pregnant with our second boy now and struggling with choosing another boy name! I had my favourite girl name picked out for a long time, but another boy has thrown me haha! Before Jack was born we went to the hospital with Jack and Archer and decided when we were looking at him, since then my cousin named her boy Archer so that’s out now! The in laws hated that name too so they’re happy!
So I’m trawling the comments for boy name inspiration haha! I say if you and B agree and really like a name then go with it! Matt and I struggle to agree, my sister and her husband struggle to agree (they have finally narrowed it down to 2 names with a month to go), so if you are lucky enough to agree then go with it and ignore the people with negative opinions! It’s not their choice! I agree with keeping it secret since we got backlash, but I’m soooo curious to know what you’ve picked!!

Lluvia August 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

As someone who grew up with a unique and different name, I can tell you that I hated it growing up. People always got it wrong. People always called me Ludivina, Luvia, ee ew via…everything but Lluvia (JOO-BEE-AW). It’s Spanish for rain. (I have a hippie mom)

Now, as I am older, I love it! No one has this name!! I am proud of it, and people freak when I pronounce it right. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I had a name for my first daughter ever since I was 13 years old. But when I got pregnant, I wanted to give her a Mexican name like Xochitl (SO-CHEEL), Quetzali (KET-SALLY), or Jatziri (HUT-CITY), and my all time favorite Araceli (ATTA-SELL-E); sadly, my husband who is non-Latino, refused them all as he could not pronounced them. He did not want to have to call her out always having trouble pronouncing her name, so we agreed on giving her the name I have loved since I was 13, Emma. Her middle name is in Spanish, but my hubby can pronounce and it flows smoothly with Emma.

You give her that name. I know she will love it.

I think what you have to figure out is if it will flow smoothly with the middle name. My daughter middle name has 3 syllables which goes nicely with Emma, and then her last name has just one syllable, so it’s a beautiful symphony when said all together!

I love calling out Emma when I call my daughter. It’s such a beautiful name (although very common), and it’s what I always wanted. Plus, it pleases both sides of grandparents, and they all can say her name! LOL

Amanda G August 12, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Go with it!! We named our boy Tilden and alot of people (including my own dad) didn’t like it but I love it because it’s different and it’s after my grandfather ;) Oh, and my name is Amanda as well, along with three of my best friends growing up and two of my office co workers. Go with different.

brennan August 12, 2012 at 7:39 pm

if it’s Brennan, that’s my name and it IS typically a boy name, but I must say I LOVE my name and have never ever met another girl named it. she and you and your husband will never regret it. just sayin’. if that’s it, which it probably isn’t!

Mel August 12, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Name her what you want. I want some tea.

betty August 12, 2012 at 7:59 pm

My daughter is almost 2 and her name is Laura. Laura goes on playdates with some neighborhood kiddies several times a week. her playdates names’ are Cooper, Rex, Grayson, Kendall and Ascher…Their parents’ names are Jennifer, Melissa, Kristin, Amanda, Kevin, Tom, Rob and Mike.

I will let you all take what you want from that.

Btw I would also suggest reading the Freakonomics’ theory on how baby names make their way through socioeconomic classes over generations. (it may be obvious to others, but if you haven’t read it, seriously google it)

Stacey August 12, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Name her whatever you want and don’t listen to other people’s opinions. You will regret it! Also it might help to wait until she is born and you will know its perfect for her when you see her :)

I have been wanting to try Honest Tea!! I liked them on Facebook.

Sarah August 12, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I am going to guess its Layne or Lane….both of which are beautiful and feminine, in my opinion. I know they are semipopular boys names right now but I find them perfectly lovely for a girl. I had a friend named Alayna and we always called her Lane…it is beautiful in my opinion. If your daughter has even one eighth of your fun personality and spunk she will grow into whatever name you give her and be lovely. Pick the name you and B both love.

Bryn August 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Your baby, Your name, Your decision. She will become that person and you will look at her and know it was just meant to be her name. Keep it, keep it a secret…and continue to love it. No regrets!

Leslie August 12, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Go for it! Not that you need people to tell you to do what you want. My good friend’s name is Ryan and she always gets questioning looks when she introduces herself, but she LOVES being named Ryan :)

Brenda August 12, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I have had to live with the name Brenda for 31 years and was determined to give my kid a kick ass name that wouldn’t be related to 74 year old Aunts of every stranger he met…like I have my whole life! I died for his name. It was the name before he was a pin hole. Hell, it was my boy name before I knew my husband existed! That name? Madden. My MadMan. I love it. It suits him. But to everyone else ‘SHE’ is the prettiest little girl every. SHE! And he is allllll boy. Annoy me not my little distroyer will kick the snot out of any kids who try and make fun of him! Go with it, gender neutral names rule.
Says me!

Rachel {at} It's A Hero August 12, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Don’t listen to any of them!!! Keep whatever name you picked! :)

Erin August 12, 2012 at 8:23 pm

My daughter is Damaris. She is the only one in our town and now she is famous for it. Yes, it is difficult at times because people, even her own grandfather, spell it wrong or call her Dimitri or Damarius if they don’t know her. But it is so unique and beautiful, just like her. If you really feel torn, I say go with a unique name and one that was picked just for this baby, not for any other of the babies you were going to have. Been pregnant a few times and each time we started fresh on the names, not using prior picks. It’s the most fun and creative thing about having a baby!

PS I also have Roman and Dashiell (named before Kate Blanchett named hers).

Lauren August 12, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Is it Wrenn? I’m dying to saddle my next kiddo, boy or girl, with this one! Btw, my daughter is named “Harper.” We named her when I was about 25 weeks along, just before Neil Patrick Harris’s daughter and looonnng before the Beckhams… but I still love it! She is Harper through and through. She’s 17 months old, so I try not to think of the day that there are 5 more “Harpers” in her kindergarten class!

Kim August 12, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I know – the name thing is a lot of pressure! I say go with your favorite name. Maybe a more traditional middle name as a fallback if she really feels like it is too different at some point in her life (or does the name have a possible nickname that she could use?) I also agree with going to the hospital with your top names in mind, but not making the official decision until you meet her. Both times I did this with my daughters we ended up using our first choice names, but I liked meeting them first to make sure the name “fit.”

Capricious August 12, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Go with the name you adore! I named my son the name I had chosen as a schoolgirl and I love it every time it comes out of my mouth. I don’t care that my childhood dog had that name- it makes it even more awesome!

Maggie August 12, 2012 at 8:42 pm

This is a post I have strong opinions about – naming children is such a hard thing, I swear giving birth was easier than assigning them names they would take with them throughout life. Think long and hard before you name your baby girl. Are you naming her that name because its so cool and so awesome – or are you thinking about your baby girl at 21, getting her first job out of college and no one can tell if she is a boy, girl or RuPaul??? My best advice as a parent is that we love having babies, but when we signed on to that, we agreed to raise adults……I hope that makes sense and I stll can’t fucking wait to see the pics of that sweet, sweet little girl you are going to have….:)

Heather August 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Sometime in the last six months or so, I read an article about how girls who have boy names tend to have a leg up when trying to get in the door of male dominated professions (we’re talking CEOs and sceintists…I guess…) because on resumes/memos they’re presumed to be men and, apparently, that still matters. Who knows what we’re looking at twenty years down the line, but I think it makes a pretty compelling argument for giving a girl a boy name.

Tricia August 12, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I agree with all of the posts about how she can go with her middle name (or a nickname, or her initials, or whatever) if she hates her name during junior high. But also, what’s this nonsense about being stuck with a name you hate until you die? Last I checked, any 18 year old with $50 can change her name to whatever she damn well pleases. So if she hates her name in two decades, she can switch it to Mary.

Angela August 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Name the baby whatever you like. If you love it, she will grow up and love it and will just be a kickass enough baby/woman to carry it off. My BFF told me that she didn’t like my girl name when I was preggers and I didn’t care because it was MY girl name. I ended up having a boy and he has the name of a nerd but I don’t care about that either.

Also, Honest Tea got me through my pregnancy where I gagged every morning when I brushed my teeth up until the morning I went into labor. Love them!

Monica August 12, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I think it’s Peyton…. btw, I LOVE the name Peyton for a girl

Peyton was on the top of my list for yeeeears!!! Then one of my friends named her son Peyton =( I love boy names for girls. My other name was Jordan and then my BEST FRIEND named her daughter Jordan. But to her defense I didn’t tell anyone my names. I always said if I had a son I would never name him as a Jr, III, etc.

My son is Michael Quinto S…. IV !!! Yes that is the 4th! LOL Never say never. It was very important to my husband so I made the sacrifice. I definitely have dibs on the next name though. My husband hates boy names on girls…Did I mention I love it??? ;)

Nathalie August 12, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I totally understand what you mean. It’s hard to make those important decisions for another person when you haven’t even gotten to meet her yet!

For what it’s worth, I think you just need to pick a name that you genuinely like and that’s all that matters. Pretty much everyone I know who has an uncommon name ultimately really likes it – your name is a part of you from before you can remember. From my own experience, my name isn’t too uncommon, but the spelling is and I’ve always really liked that. So I have to spell my name every time someone is writing it down, or pronounce it for them when they’re reading it – it doesn’t bother me – I’ve always had to do it and it’s no big deal. I think you just get used to things like that.

If you really wanted, you could always make sure her middle name is more traditional/common so if she really hated her name as a teenager or something she could just use her middle name.

Mindy August 12, 2012 at 9:14 pm

If you love the name, go with it! Don’t do crazy spellings though. As a teacher, it’s so hard to pronounce names without butchering if they are! I love “different” names. My husband and I made the mistake of telling people we were naming our son Kellen. I received all kinds of crazy comments and really started to stress. So glad we didn’t listen to anyone else! Kellen is almost 16 months, and I can’t imagine him having any other name! Can’t wait to hear the name! :)

Brittany August 12, 2012 at 9:15 pm

On no you just didn’t. My 16 month old is Harper, which I love but am still sore about the boom in the past few months. Way to rub it in.

Also, know a girl that had an interesting and different last name, but when 5 or so begged her parents to change it to Alice. So who the hell knows if Penelepoop will hate it and demand to be known as Jennifer.

Sarah August 12, 2012 at 9:24 pm

My biggest issue is that some parents aren’t considering the fact that their child will spend most of his or her life as an adult. So while some names might be super cute for a toddler, they might not be so great when the child is 40 or 65.

Former teacher hints – 1- don’t worry about the teacher not knowing if Yoshe is male or female. The gender is on the class roster (or super easy to find). Plus that’ll sorta work itself out when the kid shows up in the classroom. 2 -If the teacher cares, he or she will clarify and practice a difficult-to-pronounce name.

Kate August 12, 2012 at 9:27 pm

The Chat-Board-Internet (in particular, The Bump) HATES my daughter’s name {Leighton}. Whatever. Those whores can keep their Elisabeths and Emmas. No offense to traditional and/or very popular names – they just aren’t our style. Whereas some folks want a super feminine name, we like that her name is unisex – it sounds strong to us. And, it happens to fit her personality – at 6 mo, she is a force to be reckoned with. She would be a terrible Olivia.

Really, the only time I cringe at strangers’ reactions to her name now is when they say “oh! like the actress from Gossip Girl!” NO YOU MOTHERFUCKER, NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. Otherwise, I ignore their side-eyes and keep my head tall.

Name her what you want. Don’t play it safe – it’s not your style. But if you’re a little bit hesitant, give her a more feminine, traditional middle name. Leighton can always go by Joyce or Joy is she really, truly hates her first name.

Amber August 12, 2012 at 9:32 pm

We didn’t know what gender our second child was, so I had the daunting task of picking our TWO names. For the love of Pete, one name is hard enough. My husband was all “it’s just a name, I don’t know what the big deal is”. He’s an idiot and just doesn’t get it. We had finally settled on a boy’s name and I was SO excited because 1) we had accomplished something and 2) I really liked it. I made the mistake of telling my parents and his. Everybody hated it. Nobody had anything good to say. I still really like the name, but now it was….tainted. I ended up picking out names about 2 hours before I delivered our daughter. Most stressful birth EVER. Go with the name you love…who give a flying rat pack if nobody else likes it. Especially if you and B both agree. Besides as soon as you pop little Yoshe out, it’ll be the perfect name for her. And everybody else will think so too. I’m sure it’ll be lovely no matter what the name you guys pick.

Kate August 12, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Boo. My comment was eaten…

Internet-Chat-Boards {The Bump in particular} HATES my daugher’s name {Leighton}. But those whores can keep their Elisabeths and Emmas. No offense to traditional and/or popular names, but they just aren’t us. People said we’d regret not giving her a super feminine name… but we love that its unisex. And it fits her so well… even at 6 mo, she is a force to be reckoned with. She’d make a terrible Olivia.

Now that she’s here, the only time I’m really bothered by people’s reaction is when they are all “OMG like that actress in Gossip Girl!” NO MOTHERFUCKER NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. Otherwise, I ignore the side-eye and remind myself how happy I am that she won’t be one of a gazillion Sophies on the soccer field.

Name her what you want. Your style isn’t to play it safe. You can always give her a more traditional / feminine middle name. Leighton can always go by Joyce or Joy if she really and truly wants to murder us in her sleep over her first name.

Skooks August 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm

You know, I had the most attachment to the name we gave our 3rd kiddo (who was just born 3 short months ago), and it seems to be the one that gets the most mixed reviews. Not that anyone ever has said anything to my face about it, but I have heard through the channels that there are family members who don’t like it, don’t get it, think it is trendy (it is not at all), think it is made up (also not true). Honestly, it did hurt me to find this out because I adore her name and love what it means and think it is perfect for her. Makes me really glad that I didn’t mention it to anyone before she was born, or else I’m sure I would have heard some of this said to my face which would have given me a lot of the reactions that have been heard by others in many of the above comments. Here’s the thing, I hear names every day that I don’t care for, but it doesn’t really matter. They’re not my kids! I have no regrets at all. Go with your gut. :)

Amy August 12, 2012 at 9:38 pm

You HAVE to go with your gut here! You likely love the name because your daughter is totally going to own it and love it too. We’ve gotten some flack for our name choices but I’ve always known I know what I’m doing… It’s my kid!!! So far all three have completely lived up to and totally owned their names. I agree, wait till yoshe is here and see how you feel then. And NEVER EVER ask anyone else their opinion, just take mine ;)

JPoko August 12, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I’m an avid reader of your blog and have never commented but I felt compelled to after reading this post. My daughter is almost 10 weeks old now and we went through this same thing. Everyone has opinions but ultimately it is YOUR decision. We stopped telling people what names we had picked out because it made us want to tear our eyes out. We had 3 boys and 3 girls names but we ‘knew’ which one it was going to be. Now that she has arrived we are thrilled with the name WE chose. I didn’t want the regret of naming my child “for” someone else. My response to someone when they told me they didn’t like the name(s) and they would suggest names – “you had the chance to name your child, this is my child.”. They shut up fast.

Do what’s right for you and B. And don’t settle to please everyone else.

Leigh August 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm

PS: I love Honest Tea, and would love to try the Limeade. I just wish it was cheaper at the bodegas in NYC!

Same 80's name as you August 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Don’t worry about spelling. People will screw it up anyway. My middle name is Whitney. Common right? Well my undergraduate university forgot the N, so all of my transcripts read Amanda Whitey. I dug it, but did clear it up with the registrar’s office before my diploma was printed (at my parents’ insistence).

And my last name ends with “haar.” Pretty awesome when I left a conference recently and realized I walked around all day with a badge that read “hoar”!! At least I had good laugh.

Pick what you want. She will have many other things to fight you about when she is 10-18.

Jennifer August 12, 2012 at 9:55 pm

As long as it’s not a normal name spelled weird (Melissa=Melyssah) or something like Apple or Blanket, then it’s probably fine. I think there are a lot more kids “these days” with unusual names. If it’s sort of easily pronounceable, that’s probably good too. It would probably be annoying to have to tell every teacher how to pronounce your name. But then I was a Jennifer born in 1980 when that was the most popular name, so I always had like 4 other Jennifers in every class growing up.

Molly August 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm

My kids are Ezekiel Killian & Adalae Bleu. People give me shit about my son’s name all the time. They turn up their noses, make weird faces when I say it, & I am constantly asked, “how do you spell that?” But, I love it. It suits him so well. There will always be someone to criticize no matter what you name your kid. Name her what you want!

cassidy August 12, 2012 at 10:15 pm

i had a great grandma named luella that i wanted to use, then i married a lewallen, so i COULD NOT name my girl luella lewallen (even though i know it is not a good name i still fought for it). we ended up going through a bunch of different names and really couldn’t decide on one and we came across adirah (ah-deer-ah) and fell in love. for awhile we called her addie and still do for the most part, but she’s 5 now and when people ask her what her name is she says adirah, i know she likes it and we still love it. also, i have another name in mind for another girl if we have one and it is more a boy’s name than a girls, and i’ve told people and they look at me like “are you serious?” but i don’t care, i’ll always go with what i love (unless it’s luella), and you should too!

Tauna B August 12, 2012 at 10:20 pm

LOL!! Ok first the cat thing got me… But onto business, as a fellow preggie I say there is so much to be concerned about that I can’t begin to consider what those naysayers have to say. If you and B believe it is the name that fits your baby, go with it. I’m sure you won’t be consulting them for child support, so they don’t get a vote.

Mandy August 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Another one in the “go with the one you love” camp. My little 7mo princess is Delilah. I made the mistake of telling an older work colleague that I was considering it. She told me that it was not the name to be giving a little girl because Delilah is a whore in the bible. Apparently this means that my daughter will be a whore too. Even though I was totally in love with the name, it took me a couple of days after her birth to realise that it was the name I wanted for her and that it was our choice. If she does indeed become a whore because of her name, I’ll deal with that later. PS everyone else LOVES her name!

Jade @ Tasting Grace August 12, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Whatevs to the anonymous internet beyotches, says I. This is your baby so you get to go with whatever name you & B think is beautiful. If you’re really worried your daughter won’t like it, you can go total Asian style (at least this is what they do here in Thailand) and give her a second name. Here people have a more formal name and then a nickname. In the States, it could be her middle name. And that way she has a choice of what to go by. For example, if we ever have a girl of our own, my husband has mentioned wanting to name her Anjali, which I think is pretty no matter where we are. And I’m tempted to give her the middle or nickname Dao, which in Thai means “star.” In the States, it’d probably be weird for her to go by Dao, but here it’s considered a pretty name. So she would, hypothetically, have options. I’m sure the name you’ve chosen is great. If you love it, then go for it!

Joelle August 12, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I love my name because it’s relatively unique. And it’s semi-masculine, moreso when people pronounce it Joel but whatever. Do what you want because you’re bad ass MODG, and baby girl MODG will own whatever name you give her.

Also- I hate most bottled tea, but love Honest Tea.

Aja August 12, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Stick with your name! You’ll regret it if you don’t and really, how many people actually hate their names?? She’ll love it- she’s your daughter. Who cares what other people think, don’t listen to them. Can’t wait to hear what it is.. I’m thinking Sloane, which I love but my husband has vetoed.

PS, my name is Aja, and yes, it’s a kick-ass name. Never once hated it. Yes, people a asked me if I was Asian (idiots) and no teacher ever pronounced it correctly the first time. Whatever. My last name was no picnic either so I was used to it. My mom made the fatal mistake of telling the pregnant neighbor and she had her baby a few weeks before I was born and GUESS WHAT HER NAME IS. Don’t tell anyone!

MODG August 13, 2012 at 1:33 pm

You lucky name bitch

Katie August 12, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Yup, names sure do elicit strong reactions (I mean, I hate half of the names in the comments).

I would say go with your gut, as long as it’s not Ava/Emma/Sophia/Olivia/Harper (sorry, ladies, but there were at least SIX in just these comments). But it sounds like it isn’t.

I am definitely a proponent of “if people hear the name, they should be able to spell it, and if they see it, they should be able to pronounce it,” but not everyone agrees with that. Just remember, it’s the child who has to deal with that tomfoolery.

And finally, make sure you sound it out with your last name! I have a very very intelligent friend with a very very intelligent husband who named their child Gabriel Black. Gabe for short. Just say it out loud, you’ll understand.

Megan August 12, 2012 at 11:09 pm

I’m actually surprised to hear about all these internet boards of hatahs. Most of the ones I’ve come across are way, way too enabling. Like, Poster #1 will say “My boyfriend was a big fan of the band Warrant back in the day, and we were listening to an old Warrant cassette tape when baby was conceived, so we’re going to name her after that, but Warrant is too boring, so we’re going to spell it W’ahrynt.” and then everyone else is all like “OMG THATS SO UNEEK. U GO GIRL!”

Rebecca Nicole August 12, 2012 at 11:13 pm

All I have to say here is, “Haters gonna hate”.

My husband is the third Dean in his family, so when it was determined that we were having a boy I had no say in the matter that his first name would be Dean. His middle name? I could only veto 5, (yes Veto a name as in Ross and Rachel from Friends vetoing names). So this led to my son’s middle name being Anakin. As in Anakin Skywalker. As in Darth Vader because my husband is a freak, and Luke is just too common and “not nearly as bad ass as Anakin”

The reaction we got was nothing but side eyes and questions. My grandfather-in-law (the first Dean) said we were ruining the name, and we might as well just name him Darth Vader completely (I said absolutely not). But my son’s middle name is his and it’s different and we both actually love it. He’ll grow up to be confident in it and love it too because it’s his.

And that’s all you have to do. Teach your daughter to be confident in what she has and own it (kinda like you told us with the whole swimsuit thing?) :)

As long as your not naming her Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, I think she’ll be just fine.

Jill L-G August 12, 2012 at 11:23 pm

I don’t have any insight on the gender issue because I’m damned/blessed with two boys, but in regards to the popularity issue, I’ll share. My husband and I agreed that we LOVED the name Jackson when we first started dating, 7+ years ago, when it wasn’t a popular name. Once we started trying to get pregnant, it was popular to the point that its popularity was making us not want to use it for our child…so after a long weekend in NYC, we picked Hudson as our maybe-someday-hopefully-first-pick baby name.

- And then we found out we were having twins, and they obviously ended up both being boys, who we named Hudson and Jackson, because we didn’t want to pick a name that didn’t mean as much to us just because lots of other people also liked it. That said, I have to say that it irritates me whenever I meet another Jack or Jackson…and I do kind of wish we’d gone with one of the other, more unusual, names on our list.

Oh well! With my luck, I’ll have another boy and we’ll have another chance to get it right (knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood!)

sarah August 13, 2012 at 12:08 am

use the name you love! my boys are Townes and Guthrie. people who make fun are jealous asshats who wish they were creative, cool people. i had short name lists for both boys when we went to the hospital but knew in my heart who they were already. you carry that shit for 40 weeks, you name it. also, i attempted a VBAC and ended up with a repeat C but i would not change my experience FOR THE WORLD. labor and love it, mama.

Kallie August 13, 2012 at 1:06 am

Modg: my name is Kallie. (like California, which I just so happen to live in) It’s been mispronounced a million times, misspelled a zillion, and I freaking love my name.
If your name risks pronunciation/spelling errors, don’t sweat it: a person meets her once, mispronounces it once or twice, then calls her correctly by her awesome name forevermore. PERSPECTIVE. Sure, I’ve had to repeat myself to new friends, but now my friends can say “I’m friends with Kallie” and they don’t have to use my last name bc I’m the only Kallie in my town, yo.
I totally understand your thinking, thinking, thinking over the name. I don’t think you’re nuts for worrying how ppl will respond to it, because it does shape how she understands her place in the world. Don’t start thinking that you’re crazy: way too many ppl are too cavalier about how/what they name their babes. That being said, you’re great. You have great taste. You’ll raise a girl who can own her name no matter what. I’m not saying “don’t sweat it”, bc the fact that you are sweating it shows you’re thinking of HER and not your own cleverness or whatever BS, I’m saying “trust yourself.” I trust you :) Go forth and rock it out.

Kallie August 13, 2012 at 1:42 am

One more thing- please, PLEASE ignore everyone who tells you to get creative with spelling. JUST: NO. “Hi my name is Bob but it’s actually spelled Bauhb, soooo…. I’m better and different and shit.” It’s totally smug and douchey. No kid is gonna care and frankly, how kids respond to your daughter for the first 10 yrs is gonna shape her. If she has to be the 334th Madison, but-it’s-spelled-with-a-J!! then it’s just obnoxious. You like Jacob for your girl? Name her Jacob, don’t take away from its power by spelling it Jaykahb or something equally eye-rolly.

And just so you can see that I’m not dishing out opinions while I name my kids stupid things like Strap or Phykailea: my kids are Theo Bennett and Winter June.

Lacie August 13, 2012 at 6:16 am

Never commented…your blog is my absolute fav (this is coming from a single full time college student) . You shouldn’t worry about others judgements. At the end of the day it is your beautiful baby girl and that’s all that matters, not what others think of her name. Congrats!!

Katie R-G August 13, 2012 at 7:20 am

Alright, grab your yoga mats, put on your pachouli, and get ready to get your mind blown: my oldest daughters name is TRANQUILITY! And 9 years later, I still love the name. Her nickname is Lily, I know, it was just easier to figure out a way to cut her some slack in her just learning to spell years. And maybe also a way to not have lasers shoot out of peoples heads when they asked her name. Same/same. Some kids DO make fun, but MORE kids tell her how awesome her name is, so I know it’s valid.

Just name Yoshe what’s in your heart, the rest will follow.

amanda August 13, 2012 at 8:07 am

who cares, i just want the free drinks.

Keely August 13, 2012 at 8:22 am

My parents named me Keely, I have never once met another Keely and I am borderline freakishly obsessed with my name. Sure, it wasn’t on any of those pre-made key chains growing up but I loved sitting through 9 Ashleys and 14 Bens in role call and being the only Keely. Go with *THE NAME* and guaranteed your kid will own it and in 10 years, everyone will be named Penelepoop.

Cara Beth August 13, 2012 at 8:34 am

I think if you and B both LOVE the name, that’s the name you should go with. No matter what name you pick, there will be people who will bash it. So, you should go with your name. Otherwise, I think you will always regret it. If it turns out to be a bad name, Yoshe can use her middle name (Which I doubt will happen)

Hunter August 13, 2012 at 8:37 am

My name is Hunter middle name Leigh…. my Husband’s name is Hunter middle name Lee… no I am not joking. So I grew up with a “boy’s” and LOVED it, but then I ended up marrying a boy with the SAME NAME, prob not what my mom intended oh well, it makes for interesting stories now whenever we meet new people, go to the same doctor, eye doctor, dentist, insurance, meh whatever. I still love my name and everyone else can suck it

MODG August 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I love this.

Corinne August 13, 2012 at 8:45 am

Name YoSHE anything you want! It’s that simple. You have THE name picked out. GO WITH IT!

My mom didn’t have a name picked out for me until she was watching Soap with my grandfather. He made a comment that the girl playing Corinne was very pretty and adorable in her white fluffy snowsuit in that particular episode. That was when my mom knew that she’d found THE name. The only time I’ve ever REALLY disliked my name growing up was when teachers told me I was pronouncing my own name wrong (no, really, that happened multiple times) and when new friends told me that my name was too hard to remember. I would’ve loved to have a name like Tiffany, or Michelle, or Amanda, or something more “normal” when I was moving all the time and having to make new friends every school year. But now that I’m older, I don’t have to worry about people saying “Which Michelle? Michelle A or Michelle T?” I only have to worry about people I email calling me Connie (that happens waaaaaay more often than it should) or just simply mispronouncing my name as Cor-reen and not Cor-rin (like Rin Tin Tin…..)

Also, when I saw Aja, I immediately thought of Jem & The Holograms.

Jess August 13, 2012 at 8:56 am

Go with what you want! My parents went the safe route with Jessica and before I was 1 my sister dubbed me Gus….as in I really thought that was my real name and threw a fit when school made me go by Jessica. If she really hates it she can go by a nickname.

Kate August 13, 2012 at 8:57 am

OK, so, when we had our son we had a couple names picked out. Out of all the names we came up with, the one we picked was the one that was almost universally disliked by our friends and family: “Nolan”.

To this day I can’t understand why…we LOVE his name just like we did before he was born. I can’t tell you how many times we waffled on it because other people hated it, but we kept coming back to it. We kept trying to come up with “names that are better than Nolan”. And guess what? There were none. So finally we threw up our hands, said “this is stupid, his name is Nolan, end of story”, and told everyone to shove it. I think I told my mother “Oh well, you’ll love him regardless of whether you love his name or not”.

Now that he’s here, he’s totally a Nolan and of course no one cares what we named him. They love the name Nolan because they love the kid Nolan.

Do whatever you want. You are the most important people in this decision making process (dare I say, you are the ONLY people). Everyone else will deal.

sara August 13, 2012 at 9:00 am

boy like names for girls are awesome! They seem so strong and important.. I bet she will LOVE her name when she grows up. My girl name was Ryden… I know make fun but I loved it!! and I didn’t tell anyone our name until after our boy was born, I didn’t want to hear any opinions.

maria August 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

honestly, i was ready to google elsewhere to find the backstory ;)
but i say go with your original. there’s a reason you liked it first and yoshe will love you because you are her parents, not because of a few letters!

ps-love honest tea too! :)

Darbi August 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

Dude, just don’t tell folks and name your kid whatever. I have some friends that did that with baby #2. Baby #1 was a boy and they named him Gray. Apparently lots of folks gave them shit about it before he was born but that kid is so stinkin’ cute they shut up after he popped out. For Baby #2, a girl, they didn’t tell ANYBODY the kid’s name before she was born. They said they new people wouldn’t really be crazy about it and they didn’t want to see people make weird faces or lie to them about how cute it was. (I am not making this up!) Anyway, out popped Baby #2 and they named her Mason (before KK had her Mason). She’s about the most adorable thing on the planet and nobody said jack about her name afterwards.
Just don’t tell folks and name Yoshe whatever you want. I have no doubt that she is going to be the most amazing baby ever and nobody will really give a rat’s a** what you named her once she’s here. :)

Jenn August 13, 2012 at 9:28 am

Wow! Everyone has a LOT to say about names… add me to the list! ;)

I have 2 girls. From the moment we found out kid #1 was a girl, we knew her name would be Autumn. Not a doubt. Then kid #2 happened and we had our boy name in reserve from kid #1. Then they told us it was a girl. DREAD! WHAT THE H*LL ARE WE GOING TO NAME HER?! For 6 months, it was a WAR. My husband wanted to name her Piper and I wanted to name her Parker (I’m a sucker for boy’s names for girls!) and we fought, and fought, and fought, and fought. We told people and listened to every one of their stinking opinions and took them all to heart. I even bought the letters for both names and laid them out on the floor and TOOK PICTURES of them to see if one looked VISUALLY better than the other (WTH?! PSYCHO PREGO!) But we did what you said and brought both names to the hospital. She was born and they set her on my chest and I stared at her for literally 10 silent minutes – without saying anything to anyone – we both decided (my husband and I – not her – she was too young to tell me – obviously!) that she looked 100% like a Piper. Naming her Parker would’ve been a mistake, and to this day, we still think that. Her name suits her. You’ll worry about it for the next howevermany months, but that moment will come, and you’ll just KNOW. I promise! ;)

Lisa August 13, 2012 at 9:33 am

I think it’s Peyton. Correct? Just nod if I’m right.

Karen August 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

I THINK I may be on the same forum as you actually and if it’s what I think, then I def don’t agree it’s a boy-sounding name (and the alternate suggestion was terrible in my opinion!). I would say there is potential for some teasing based on rhymes, but kids will always look for a reason to tease other kids about their name.

Go for the name you love. There will likely be times she hates it, and likely a time when she loves it. That’s pretty much true for nearly any name. You can always do what my parents did and claim that her sibling named her. It gets the pressure off you.

Corinne August 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

So my parents chose what I now believe is a beautiful name for me – Corinne (pronounced Cor-een, not Corrin). Although growing up, it was tough and I at times HATED my name because I noticed once we moved from Italy to the US, it was being mispronounced, even at times being completely changed – turning into Cornine – like, REALLY?!

So I understand your fear of your daughter not liking her name but most likely she’ll learn to love it if there are any issues growing up.

Amy August 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

I keep waiting for SOMEone in my life to do the bold thing and name their little girl Cleo. I think it’s adorable. And I know, I know, that dumb cartoon cat Heathcliff had a girlfriend named Cleo. And also Pinocchio’s fish was Cleo. I think. But I think it’s super cute. Also, all those old greek/roman names like Claudia and Nadia and Lydia. Wait. I think Nadia is Russian. But it’s lovely none the less. Okay. That was an honest comment. I have two boys, so I had to vent my girl name thoughts here on the world wide web. Thanks for indulging.

Kallie August 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Cleo is a kickass name. I lobbied heavily but my husband would NOT have it, so I try to foist it on any preggo I meet.

Sara August 13, 2012 at 10:01 am

My guess is Peyton, which I love! Regan is also up there for me on the boy names used for girls…however my husband told me that he once had a crush on a girl named Regan and could never call our daughter that!

KB August 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

My youngest daughter is named Georgia, but we usually call her George or Georgie. I’ve yelled for George numerous times at the park/pool/mall (she’s a runner), and people always give me the side-eye when my beautiful girl comes running. And I DON’T GIVE A SHIT what they think. She’s a Georgia (or George) and her name is perfectly her, she fits perfectly with our family because that’s the name that we fell in love with. Go with your gut, it will be the right choice.

kerry August 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

Go with THE name! When my daughter was born, I ended up making the name I really really liked as her middle name because I was worried it was too trendy. And even as her middle name, it still got plenty of comments from older relatives. BUT – I secretly wish I had used it as her first name.

My name is also a boy’s name but I love boy names for girls. And I don’t mind getting mail addressed to Mr. Kerry every now and then.

Dara S. August 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

I honesty think you should go with the name you and B low. Cause you will raise that little girl to love her name and say screw you to whoever doesn’t like it/can’t pronounce it/whatever.

Elissa August 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

Give her the name you want. She’ll love it if she knows the reason you chose it, and that you always wanted that to be her name. I always wanted a son named Harry, because it’s my dad, grandpa, and great-grandpa’s name. But then I got scared because of the obvious playground jokes that come with that name. So my husband and I flipped a coin, and settled on Harry as the middle name. Now, I love my son’s first name, and it has deep meaning too. But I still have a twinge of regret for not sticking to my dream name. I think all kids hate their name at some point, and kids will make up rhymes and teases with any and all names. But once she is older, she will love her unique name–I certainly learned to love mine, after years of wishing I was “Melissa” instead.

Erin @ WriteTasty August 13, 2012 at 11:08 am

My husband wanted to name our daughter Brady or Mason before she was born. We didn’t even know she was a girl but he was obsessed with traditional-boy-turned-girl names from day one (paternal instinct). We ended up going in a very different direction but I feel like our daughter would have rocked either name. And any future daughter stands a solid chance of getting a traditionally male name because he still loves them. I think so long as you steer clear of celebrity names (Apple, Pilot, Eternal Sunshine, Garbage) and stripper names, you’re golden. Screw the masses and go with your heart. :)

Ashley August 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

She’s YOUR child. You & B will be the ones saying her the name THE MOST and if you both like the ring of it, then that’s ALL THAT MATTERS!

Jasmine August 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

My mom named me before the whole Disney Princess craze. One of the nice things about it was in school – I never needed to put my last name on anything as there was only 1 Jasmine in the whole school. I like different names – my first daughter is named Raegan and when I was pregnant with my last daughter I LOVED the name Kennedy. But I really didn’t want people to think I was some crazy president obsessed person so I nixed it early.

I didn’t realize how adamant people are about the gender of a name until I named my daughter Avery. I thought it could be used either way, but some people have pretty strong feelings about it. I say life is too short to have regrets! Its your baby so name it what you want. Regardless of what you name her, she will rock it!

Denise August 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

Is it Dylan? I know a girl who was just named that and I thought of it as a boy name, but to each their own.
We kept my sons name top secret but made the mistake of telling a couple people and it spread like wildfire but we denied it and ended up naming him it anyways.
Name her what you want, otherwise you will regret it.

Lyssa August 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Make THE name her middle name, and you can call her that until she’s old enough to decide which she prefers. The traditional first name or the middle name.

sara August 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

please please please please please. name your little one the name you love…THE name!! i have seriously the worlds most common name-and it sucks. first, middle and last name…all super common. all super lame. ( no offence mom and dad…love you guys ). I love different and unique names that you dont come across every day. you are a seriously BA person and your daughter deserves a BA name. now i just really want to know what the name is….. :)

Katie August 13, 2012 at 11:58 am

My daughter is Luca (traditionally unisex, more commonly male in Italian) and my son is Rohan (pronounced like Rowen…but we liked the spelling better his way). People gave me all kinds of hell over my daughter’s name when she was a baby. My mother in law openly hated it. I routinely got either ‘Oh, that’s….interesting?’ or ‘Is that a family name?’ (implying she would only be named that if it was a family name) ALL THE TIME when she was a baby. Like, 4-7 times a day. But you know what? We LOVED her name when we chose it and still love it to this day. There are not 4 Luca’s in her kindergarten class. In fact, there’s not a single other Luca in her school and in her 5 years of life I’ve never met another Luca. Does she get mistaken for a boy when people have not met or seen her? Yes. Everyone from the pharmacist to the swim teacher assumes she’s a boy…but…she’s not? So, who cares? For what it’s worth, her middle name is Margaret after my grandmother, on the theory she can use that if she grows up hating Luca (Margaret, Maggie, Meg, Peggy…the list of possible iterations goes on and on). So far, though, she tells me she loves her name.

As for my son, people don’t assume as much that he’s a girl as I thought they would based on the name. I mean, there were several female Rowans and Rowens around in the years before he was born, so I was actually more sure his name would cause confusion than I was about hers. But it just doesn’t happen. His middle name is Morrison, so he sometimes goes by Rohan, sometimes Mo, and sometimes Romo. And he’s about the coolest little 3 year old boy I know, so I love that his name is unique and he’s not one of 4 Rohan’s in his class either.

All this to say: Name your baby whatever you like, but be sure you really really like it.

Amy August 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Save your decision for when you see her face. If that name is her name, then name her that name. If its not, have some backups. It took several hours for me to decide that our favorite name was the name of our son, and it took us 3 days to name our dog. I think there will be enough unusual names when our children are older that unusual will be usual and usual will be unusual, so whatevs.

Keegan August 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Alright. My first name is Keegan, and I am a girl. It is a family name, it fits me perfectly, and I adore it. Problems: it is a boy’s name, and kids are dickbags. But, no matter what your name is, kids will make fun of it, it’s just how mini-humans work. Also, I went to Catholic gradeschool, and was swimming in a pool of Jennas, Michaels, and Beckys. Barf. And growing up in the 90s, I was heartbroken that I couldn’t go to the dollar store and get my name keychain. Bonus: I am an adult, and I LOVE my name, thanks to my hippie all girls high school and general awesomeness inherited from my parents.

So as for adults: my main problem with adults has to do more with my full name…my last name is Kelley. Sooooo people are more inclined (cough insist cough) to believe my first name is Kelly (note they always skip the extra e, condescending bastards).

Moral of the story: Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all sideways. This is between you, B, and Yoshe. If she doesn’t like her name, she’ll either get over it or change it. Let your love sparkles glow, and may herds of wombats and lemurs chase away the nay-sayers.

Kallie August 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Don’t name her Peyton. It’s ridiculously trendy, boy or girl. Ditto with anything that rhymes with it…. Hayden, Brayden, Kayden, Aiden. Gag.

alycia August 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

It’s crazy how much drama names (even hypothetical names) can stir…We also made the mistake of crowdsourcing the family, and discovered pretty quickly that you can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t try – go with what you guys love, and it’s obvious you have one that you’re leaning towards.
We chose Lincoln for the first name, and then used a family name as the middle – and we love it, and hopefully when he is at an age to even know what his name is, he’ll love it, too.
We chose Caiden for our now six year old, and although it fits him perfectly, we run into another Kayden/Kaden/Caden every place we go — can’t win em all.

Ashley August 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

She’s YOUR child. You & B are the two that are going to be saying her name the MOST & as long as you two like the ring of it, then that’s ALL THAT MATTERS.

Shannon August 13, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I have a daughter G’s age: Sloane Jillian. We have heard all the same things about her name: “it’s a toilet brand”, “did you name her after grey’s anatomy?” No. “Is that a boy’s name?” I am so happy we didn’t reveal beforehand…it takes a real a-hole to say something after the baby’s born but everybody will tell you what they think beforehand. Good luck with one of the hardest parts of pregnancy!

~Michelle~ August 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

As someone who just had a Calliope, I would have to say that as long as people can somewhat easily pronounce the name…go for it! My poor girl is going to be called “Cowl-ee-oh-pee” for the rest of her life by the people who apparently can’t read!

KT August 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

USE THE BELOVED, MAGIC NAME. you WILL live in regret-ville if you don’t. I had doubts with both my kids less than common names, but dove right in with both. I’m positive I would have totally regretted it if I hadn’t.

Our son is named after my dad, which still didn’t stop some people from giving me their unsolicited negative opinions while I was pregnant. Also, when our son was born five years ago, it was very uncommon. Now it’s suddenly in the top 100, wtf? Considerably trendy. Ugh. I’m convinced this would not be the case if it weren’t for my brilliant naming skillz, cool dad and awesome son. You’re welcome, world. Our daughter’s name is Lola. Not named after anyone, just loved everything about it. We got some yuck faces when I was pregnant, but we went for it, and now she’s 17 months and she is SO Lola. Will she one day hate us for naming her the same as the song about a tranny? Possibly. But let’s be real, that’s a kick ass song. And if we somehow don’t raise her well enough to agree with us (not possible) there are like 3 other kick ass songs with her name in it. In the meantime, the weirdest thing that I didn’t expect is that I get the MOST compliments ever on her name from the senior citizen crowd, the old people love it. A cool bonus for trusting our instincts, I feel.

I find it pretty hard to believe that if you didn’t know it was boy name, that it’s really ONLY acceptable as a boy name. It must be slightly unisex. And if it’s so different, will there really be 40 boys with the name in her class? There won’t be. Just do it. You will love her, you will support her. She will become the name and the name will become her, and she will be fine. And you’ll think it was crazy you ever doubted it for one second. No regrets.

Obligatory guesses… Luca? Lennox? It’s Leroy, isnt it?

Lila August 13, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Modg – I say go with your gut. People far to easily hate on creative names anonymously on the intertron. 1) These people likely have either mundane or EXTREMELY unfortunate names. 2) They aren’t carrying your child. Having a name that is uncommon, classy, sophisticated, or darn it, just something YOU liked is cool and makes your child stand apart from the crowd. It says “hey, my mom was really thinking about my name, and didn’t just go with Ann.” Not that Ann is bad – it’s just that I know 10 Ann’s. :D I just recently gave birth to my first son, who I was contractually obligated to name after my husband (who is the fourth). His name is Walter. Some people like it. Some people don’t. Some think it’s old fashioned. But I only know two Walters – my son and my husband (ok, and his dad and grandpa, but you get it.) And you know what, whatever, I LOVE IT!!! And he will too. Or he won’t. But then I’ll make him feel bad about not liking it b/c I LOVE IT!!!

Katy August 13, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Keep the name! “Boy’s” names for girls are awesome!. I would have done it myself, if I had a girl, but I had a boy…his first name is Aidan (which everyone misspells, but his middle name is Tiberius. That’s right. Tiberius. Just like Captain James T. Kirk. Because he is that cool.

Erika August 13, 2012 at 12:50 pm

i knew a girl named labia.
i swear to SANTA.
yea.
labia.

Meredith August 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Is it Peyton?! Do I win some Honest Ade if I guessed right? Masculine, check. Name of a famous football player, check. Peyton Place is either a building or a street, check. If this is it, I know at least 3 Peytons from college (it was a popular southern girl name, I guess in the early 80s judging from that) and they were all cute and spunky. If so, it’s a good name and I think the haters are dumb. Now if I’m wrong and it’s like Refrigerator Perry or something, the haters were right. Sorry.

robyn August 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Landon!!!!

Tori August 13, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I’m not a Mama yet, so I don’t know firsthand how overwhelming picking the name must be. I had plenty of agita over just naming my cat, so I assume that if I’m ever called upon to name an actual human I’ve created, I’ll be reduced to a quivering mess. And vets always mispronounce my cat’s name anway, so clearly I’m not to be trusted with the naming of things.

Could you have your two names, maybe even a third, ready for when she’s born? When you get to see YoSHE in person, perhaps her name will become clear.

Anna August 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

sSo, apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I only have 20 minutes for lunch and 13 of those have been spent looking at earrings from world market, and I haven’t had time to read all of the responses. In this situation, you should as WWDTD?, obviously What Would Danny Tanner Do? Remember the episode where Stephanie wanted to change her name because all of the kids called her “Step-On-Me”? So she changed it to “Dawn” and she still got made fun of? Danny T. told her that her name was hers and it was special and her mom and dad picked it for her for a reason. So, she went back to being Stephanie and all was well in the Tanner household…until the following Tuesday evening at 7:00 p.m. Give your little girl the name you want for her. Basically, many kids are assholes and if they want to make fun of someone’s name, they’re going to find a way to do it. It’s more important that you pick a name that you and B love, and then raise Yoshe to know how special her name is and to be proud of it.

Erica August 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I LOVE this post! BTW… I have a nine month old daughter named Brooke, completely normal name but still got crap from family and friends about how it was weird (??? yeah, i don’t know). Anyway, my husband and I have a second name if we have another girl. Her name will be Landon. I am not planning on telling anyone about it because I am 100% certain that I will get harrassed about it. I don’t care… people have no right to make opinions about YOUR name choice. People are assholes and whatever name you pick will be PERFECT for her… besides.. my friend’s mom’s maiden name was Candi House… not kidding… it won’t nearly be that bad!

lacey August 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Which anonymous group of internet strangers did you run it past? ‘Cause some are SUCH mean pointless shit-starters. Like the Apartment Therapy people. WHAT IS WITH THEM? (Confession: sometimes my housemate reads Apartment Therapy comments aloud at the dinner table and we laugh and laugh and laugh.)

I really like this particular group of anonymous internet baby name-obsessed strangers: http://www.swistlebabynames.blogspot.com/ Maybe you (will?) like them too / find them helpful?

Everyone here is right. Eff the masses and their stupid entitled uninformed opinions. Your daughter is YOUR DAUGHTER, and genetically, the chances of her opinions on names matching up with you and B’s opinions is much more likely than hers matching with Some Internet Jerk’s opinion. Also, unique names (without “poop” in them) and ‘boyish’ names are so obvi cooler. Also, neither you nor I nor Internet Jerk is able to predict what will be ‘cool’ by the time your daughter is thirteen so who the eff knows and trust your gut.

Sometimes my mom mentions that my backup names were ‘Kristen’ and ‘Courtney’ and I almost pass out from the mainstream terror of it all. (No offense to Kristens and Courtneys sorry sorry I love you.) ALSO apparently if I were a boy I would’ve been ‘Tyler’ AFTER STEPHEN TYLER and HOW AWESOME IS THAT? OMG I WISH MY NAME WERE STEPHEN TYLER RIGHT NOW.

Anyway.

I confess that I don’t know what the big deal with going-by-a-slightly-more-mainstreamish-middle-name-later-if-you-want-to is. That does seem like good padding to build into the situation. Wait, did you say somewhere that you had a middle name picked out already, and it’s really out there, and commenters here are trying to assuage that concern? Dunno. Anyway. Middle names as backup: totally fine if you ask me. Some mainstream diminutive of her name (Anne or Annie for Logan, Penny for Penelopoop) as a backup: also totally fine. Why not?

Lastly. I am mentioning this not because it’s a big concern (it’s actually a very small concern) but only ’cause it occurred to me while I was driving the other day and I haven’t ever heard it mentioned before. So. What if when your daughter grows up, there’s a Facebook or a Facebook equivalent, some internetty networky thing, and she wants her long-lost elementary school friends to be able to find her on it? (The people who I passionately loved and’ve heartbreakingly lost touch with are the ones names Melissa Smith or Brian Jones because GODDAMNIT.) And also, if the opposite happens—like if you name her Quintana Roo and she decides at age 35 that she does NOT want to be searchable, she could go by an everyman name then, or alter or change her online presence, or whatever—there are ways to limit online access to yourself, but no ways to go back in time and create a whole history for yourself with a unique name so that your fifth grade boyfriend whom you totally still love in a Kevin Arnold / Winnie Cooper way can find you.

Seriously this keeps me up at night.

Love and hugs. It will be wonderful. :-)

Michelle August 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I’m fighting a similar battle with my soon-to-be baby – my husband and I picked out a name that we both love and that works whether baby is a girl or a boy but I get so many comments about how it’s not masculine enough or feminine enough (depending on what baby pops out as) and how they might hate it when they grow up. But odds are a kid can hate any name you give them. Plus, you can always revert to a nickname at any point (and how often do those end up replacing a well thought out name anyway?). I’m excited to hear what the name is when Yoshe finally arrives!

Oh, and can’t say enough good about Honest Tea – I’ve totally been digging it while pregnant and wanting something other than water!!!

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian August 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Thinking/worrying about if kids will make fun of her for her name, or if she’ll hate it is pointless. I mean, my parents named me the most VANILLA of vanilla names: Ashley Marie and I hate it. HATE IT. I wanted a name that was fun, different, interesting. Instead I have the most popular name for girls for 1985. Ick.

So really, girls will be bitches no matter what. If you name her Susan she’ll hate you for being dull, and if you name her Apple she’ll hate you. That’s not about what you name her, it’s about the fact that women are bitches.

So go forth. Name her whatever the fuck you want and it will be perfect.

Marjorie August 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Come on, my name is Marjorie. Marjorie. Having a weird name kind of sucks as a kid but I really love it now. Besides, kids will find something to mock regardless. We are naming our son Asher in spite of comments from our parents that kids will call him “Asser” or “Ash-hole” (Seriously, my favorite. Definitely storing that one away for when he’s older.) You have to go with your gut. I let myself be bullied into naming my oldest Logan and I really wish I had stuck to my guns and given him a more unique name.

Girls with boy names are great! I had three Ryans in my sorority – each spelled differently. (We had 2 Marjories is well. Apparently we just gathered up all the weirdos.) I would have considered Kyle for a girl were it not my husband’s name, but we have a rule about not re-using names. Just go with the name you love.

Kristina August 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I think that “screw the haters” is a dumb sentiment. People get judged by their names all.the.time. and unless you want every one of her school teachers, professors, and bosses to roll their eyes at her name, you need to give her something that isn’t horrible. I am annoyed on the first day of every semester when I have to deal with fourteen new Madisons and Haydens, plus the odd Leonidas and Glitter. Those are awful names.

You can’t name your baby an awful name because let’s face it, yes YOU love it, but you would love your child no matter what you named her. It’s your child. Everyone else in the world doesn’t automatically love her, and you at least want to give her a headstart by not giving her a terrible name.

Analyn August 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

This reaffirms my “tell no one any of our names until the baby is born” rule. Boy’s names for girls are awesome. I always think about how the name will work at different ages for the kid: cute for a baby? sexy for a young adult? can be taken seriously in a professional setting? Go for it. You’re the one saying the name a billion times in a day. And since when do cool people care what other people think.

Erica August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I also say name her whatever the bajeezis you want! Haters will always take more time to rip you a new one. Everyone is always quick to judge, but not as quick to love. I’m sure there were plenty of people that read your post and loved the name but didn’t take the time to write it, which is a shame because it has caused you to doubt yourself. Through my work with some hospitals I’ve seen a wide range of names and my vote for “what the $h!t were the parents thinking?!!?” goes to the poor child whose name is… First Name: Cash Money, Middle Name: Baby Jesus. I kid you not. You’ve got good taste so I am 100% confident that is not the name you selected for YoSHE, so go with your gut!! :)

LaurenTal August 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

So if I had a girl Aja was in the running. Straight up thanks to my husbands obsession with Steely Dan. I think someone above didn’t want it to happen and my uterus only makes boy babies now.

Paige August 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Omg I know the name. Is it Jezebel? Do it, modg. Effing do it. AND DON’T TALK ABOUT IT!!

Lisa @bitesforbabies August 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

It’s easy to say go with your gut and try not to be influenced by what others think…but that’s easier said than done! At the end of the day, choose the name that YOU like! We gave our son an Italian name (which is actually a female is English-but a male name in Italy!) and we got heck from a few people! All I have to say is, being a teacher, I’ve seen plenty of weird names out there…and most of them are not foreign!! I say go with your gut and trust your instincts!!!

Cassandra August 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

My son’s name is Milo and I was shocked by how many people dislike it. They don’t say so, I can just tell. I’d still do it all over again. You grow into the name you’re given. I’ve very very rarely met a person and thought “man, she doesn’t seem like a Trixie.”

Mary August 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

You’ve received so much positive feedback on the blog about going with your gut and sticking with your name! Maybe if you told your blog followers “The Name” you would receive some positive feedback about that as well!!! Then you could have some validation that the random assholes from the Internet obviously didn’t give you!

Kristin August 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Here is the thing… kids (and people in general) are mean. They will find a way to tease your child at some point or another. It might be because of the name. It might be because of the ears. It might be because she is chunky. It might be because she is skinny. It might be because she is shy. It might be because she loves to wear JCrew. WHO KNOWS… but they will find a way. So… don’t worry about the million and one ways the name might impact future teasing or judging by people. Worry about raising a strong, confident daughter who will be able to withstand the teasing and the judgment and be proud of who she is and where she came from.

For what it is worth.. I have never met anyone who has honestly regretted naming their child whatever they chose. And all those celebrities with the crazy names… they seem to truly love the name. We think its weird.. but.. for whatever reason they seem to like it. So… I say.. good for them. If you love it… just use it.

Candace August 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Man, I am embarrassed to say I devoured these comments!! And there were some pretty awesome ones. I am hoping to have a little one in the near future, but haven’t had to deal with the name issue, yet. I agree that people are ruder on the internet than they will ever be in person. And it seems like unique, new, gender-neutral, etc names are the norm so I can’t imagine having a boy-as-girl name or even anything crazier would be anything to bat an eye at.

And, for this lovely advice, GIMME THAT HONEST TEA!

ps. totally made mental notes of some of the killer names in the comments for myself! modg readers = smart namers.

Lori August 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I don’t have time to read all the comments but they look wonderfully supportive. Very cool.

I say, so long as the name isn’t obviously bad (like Penelepoop), do what works for you. And don’t tell anybody. We didn’t have a girl, but if we did I wanted to name her either Leila or Lilith (or mabye the Israeli version of it, Lilit (pronounced lee-LEET). Husband made the mistake of telling his parents, and wow, did he ever find out why you don’t tell people. Mom-in-law hated Leila. Dad-in-law hated Lilith. In the end it would have come down to which in-law I wanted least to take shit from (a toss-up). But we didn’t have a girl so I never got to find out. *pout*

Seriously, if you both love it then do it or you’ll always regret it. And she’ll hate you when she’s 15 anyway. You can give her a mundane middle name, like Elizabeth, so she can get all pretentious if she wants, but at least she’ll have options. No worries.

FOCIBON August 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I had a friend and his wife name their son Harrison Butt. Sometimes intervention can be enlightening. ‘Nuff said ;)

Ginger August 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I think you should definitely name your baby what you want. I think people get crap about their name, no matter what. Little kids find a way to make it laughable (Ginger Bread Man, Ginger-vitis, Ginger Spice…) Do what’s right for you and your family!

SO excited to be entered to win the Honest Tea case!! I liked them on facebook and watched that cute commercial.

Taylor August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

“Taylor” was a sort-of-unusual girl’s name when I was growing up, PLUS I’m called Taylor, I’ve never been called anything but Taylor, but Taylor is my middle name. Double-weird, but I seriously would not have had it any other way.

This is going to sound cheesy, but having an unusual name forced me to have a certain level of self-confidence that may not have come as naturally otherwise. The confidence on the first day of school to tell the teacher calling roll, “actually, I go by my middle name, which is Taylor, and I’m not a boy,” is the same kind of confidence required to voice a dissenting opinion, audition for a lead role, or introduce yourself to the guy you have a crush on.

Name her whatever feels right for you, teach her to be proud of herself and all that she is (including her name), and (eventually) she’ll be so grateful.

Lori August 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Does Yoshe = Lester?

Caitlin August 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I think boy names for girl can work out great. I have a female cousin named Jacin and she loves her name.

Jholler August 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I have a Harper in utero right now, and I LOVE the name, but my backwoods-ass Deep South family totally hated it at first and wanted me to name her something “normal.” I stuck to my guns, even though their deep hatred made me doubt it for a little while. Now they’ve all gotten over it and went back to shooting squirrels and chasing pigs or whatever their usual hobbies are, and they all call her Harper now and don’t give me any more shit about it.

So I say go for THE name, everyone important will eventually come around. And there may always be some asshat who doesn’t like it or gives you flack, but like you said- those people were prob just nerds growing up. Nerdy asshats don’t matter.

Brandy August 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

L + sounds like a street = totally Lane. :)))

Ashlee August 13, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Hi, I’m Ashlee ^^ Duh. Long time reader, first time commenter, and I just want to say:
I grew up hating my name, and my mom would tell me the story of arriving at my name and how I was almost Elizabeth or Lauren or Bridget and I would say “WHY didn’t you name me one of those! Those are cool!” Top two reasons I hated my name: EVERY other girl in my age group was also named Ashley/Ashleigh, and I spent my entire life replying to the what is your name question, “Ashlee, A-S-H-L-E-E.” Annoying as crap. I actually planned to start going by my middle name, Nicole, in middle school. But then in 5th grade I met a total bi-otch named Nichole. UGH. Now that I am an adult, I like my name, except for when I found out Ashlee Simpson spelled it the same way, but whatever. I say keep the name you like and pick a less controversial middle name so if she doesn’t like it she can choose the middle name. :) Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s great because I love, love, love Gavin as a boys name.

Ashley August 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

My guesses are Bryce & Cameron :)

Amanda August 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Looks like I’m in the minority here, but I would give consideration to the Internet reactions. HOWEVER, I would not make that my only deciding factor, and at the end of the day, if you love the name, it’s ultimately your (and B’s) decision. But, I hate to say it, it would be (just one) deciding factor. The only reason I say that is because if that many people had such a negative reaction, chances are, a lot of people in real life will have that opinion as well. As has been pointed out, no one will say that to your face once the baby is here, but it doesn’t mean people won’t be thinking it. To me, that would make me uncomfortable and paranoid if I felt like everyone was pointing and laughing at my kid behind their back (not saying your name is THAT bad, but just the idea would be enough to bother me).

FWIW, the hubs and I won’t be sharing our names with people in our lives when the time comes, because I really don’t care if his mother or my cousin like it or not. Not their kid = not their decision. But I may bounce the name around a bit anonymously on the Internet because there is something to be said for OVERWHELMINGLY negative reactions from multiple people. Just saying… Best of luck in whatever you decide, and now I’m genuinely curious about the name!

Susanne August 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm

wow, 315 people have opinions. so that’s cool.
i have a girl name that i love, and it is very unique and special to us. i’m not backing down whenever it’s time… if we have a girl. boy names are much harder for me.
also, i love honest tea

Hillary August 13, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Another voice in the chorus of name your baby what you want. I don’t know anyone who DOESN’T like their unique name, and I know a bunch of people who hate their super-common names. The only person I know who had a nice unique name and hated it so much that he changed it to a super common lame name was my high school boyfriend, and he was stupid. He thought people were teasing him because of his name. Ha ha! No. They were teasing him because he was a big dorky dork. He grew out of the dorkiness but never grew out of the lame common name he picked out for himself when he was a chubby 14-year-old with braces. Anywho. Your daughter will love what you pick out, because there’s no way she will be a dummy like my ex-boyfriend. She will be cool like everyone else I know.

Bo August 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I’m 100% in agreement with the million comments above – go with the name. Guess what? My name is Bo and I’m a girl. And, yes, I got teased as a kid but I’m pretty normal and well adjust (I think?) so it probably turned out ok. I can relate to your concerns about your name being masculine, but guess what, people call me at work and say “oh, I thought you were a guy,” and then I give them a hard time about stereotyping and it ends up being funny. At networking events, people always come up to me to ask about my name, so it’s a great ice breaker. At any point, I could have decided to be called something else, my mom is cool like that but you know what this is who I am and I love my name. YOSHE will love her name too.

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