knocked up

Did you know that it’s Don’t Be a Dick Day? I’m trying to figure out how to opt out. Also your first peek at G’s big boy room.

July 30, 2012


I’m sick again. Like with a cold. Pregnant with a cold. Vomit. Oh and speaking of vomit, I did that 19 times on Friday. When B was away in NY. I hate everyone. I hate you. I hate me. I hate B. But my problem is that I read on twitter today that it’s “don’t be a dick day”. So obviously I’m screwed. I’m not sure what happens if you are actually a dick or really who could police something like that. But every time I’m being dick-ish, I look over my shoulder for some sort of man in black in the corner. But I think even that man in black would understand that one has every right to be a dick when they have a cold and a toddler and ARE PREGNANT. Hopefully that man can explain this to B.

To B’s credit, I’m a pretty good preg. Ok that’s a huge lie. I complain constantly. BUT what is true is that I complain constantly when I’m not preg also so it’s all pretty neutral territory to him. So what do I do when I’m really REALLY sick? I have to amp that shit up. This usually ends in crying and fighting. Like, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ROLLED OVER *LOUDLY* IN YOUR SLEEP AGAIN. DON’T YOU KNOW I’M PREGNANT? or something like WHY *WON’T* YOU HAVE SNORING SURGERY TOMORROW? I NEED TO SLEEP, DON’T  YOU KNOW I’M PREGNANT? And then he’s like YES AMANDA I KNOW YOU’RE PREGNANT. And I’m like. I can’t believe you would talk to me like that, DON’T YOU KNOW I’M PREGNANT?

So it’s been awesome around here.

And the awesome just exploded when we finally started the project of clearing out the guest room for G’s new big boy room. And by guest room, I mean, B’s closet and sleeping quarters when he snores. When, being always. But do you know what this REALLY means? It means I have to make room in MY closet for B. I know, right? I mean I already made room in my uterus for his unborn child and now this? What’s next? Grow him a spare liver on my face?

So as I stuffed boxes and boxes and BOXES of clothes that are like circa 2002 spandex Forever21 -I’m going to Atlantic City and may hang out with a Real Housewife- dresses (what? I totally may need those again), I forced my dick of a self to remember that I’m not making room for B in my closet, I’m making room for another person in our house. And then I panicked.

Another person in this house. Plus 2 cats. Plus a toddler. Plus a 6’4” food eating beast. Plus a dick of a preg. Well I won’t technically be preg when the new person is here, but you get it. So I did it. I did what every self respecting woman dreads…cleaning out the closet.

It took me all day. I mourned the loss of my sparkles. I cried over pencil skirts that will never see my ass again. I hugged my 4” hooker heels and kissed them goodbye. All for our new person. And B I guess.

I did this 2 days ago. And I was ready for B to be so excited. I mean it’s like my child, DVR, breathing, my clothes. So B knew this was a big deal. I was ready for his OH MY GOD AMANDA THIS IS SO WONDERFUL AND I CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE IN reaction. And his WOW AMANDA YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL WIFE WHO DID SUCH HARD LABOR WHILE PREGNANT reaction. I needed it.

Because my closet is small. See? And I had to clear out a whole shoe rack. Sigh… and the third of the closet you can’t see.

So 2 days later. Here we are. B’s side.

He hung up a pair of pants.


My fashion history packed away and gone for a pair of pants that he probably borrowed from someone working at Target.

So you’re thinking…Ok, well maybe he didn’t have time to fill the closet. Maybe he was working on G’s new big boy room?

Here’s our progress on that:

Go ahead, pin it. You know you’re dying over the amazing design ness of it all.

But I suppose it will be hard to do much to the room since I’ll be sleeping there for the foreseeable future. Because I hate everyone. And my hips hurt. And I’m stuffy. And B snores too much. AND I’M PREGNANT.

At least my blow up tiger understands me.

Learn from this my friends. Don’t be a dick today. Unless you should be. Then go for it. And share with me how you are doing your part to be a giant dick.




Don’t be a Dick Day was brought to you by my super friends at the Cloth Diaper Outlet. I promise you I will be using these bitches when I need some new diaps for Yoshe. They have every kind under the sun and great deals. They also do a really good job of explaining all the different terminology behind the mystery that is cloth diapering. It’s a super great resource for newbies or veterans of the cloth world.
AND then buy old cloth diapers for store credit. That to me is definitely worth a peek.

For any order over $49 with the code “freediaper”, they’re giving away both a free diaper cover (our most popular brand) and a free prefold.  Promo is good anywhere in the world. Go forth and cloth.

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  • Meagan {Green Motherhood} July 30, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Whil Wheaton is gonna get you(I think that’s his name) allegedly this whole day was his idea. Maybe?
    Girl, you need some nose spray, vitamin c in high doses and some thieves oil. It kills everything that is infecting you and it’s nice and safe :). It kept me from dying multiple times while pregnant.
    Hope you and the room get better soon.

    • MODG July 30, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      I just ordered some thieves oil. Safe for pregs I’m assuming.

      • Meagan {Green Motherhood} July 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

        It was safe for me! I used it all the time while pregnant and I give it to my toddler too. My mother just started her Young Living business if you need a reliable source to get it from.
        We use the stuff so much she needed to start selling it to us. The spray is the best for disinfecting items and spraying in your throat when you get that tickle. I hope it helps. We swear by it.

  • Ambra July 30, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Where’d you get those awesome shoe racks? I totally need something like that in my closet.

    • MODG July 30, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      Container store

  • Alicia July 30, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Today is National Cheesecake Day. I vote for celebrating that instead.

    • Shannon July 30, 2012 at 3:35 pm

      I am with Alicia. Screw not being a dick. You get a dick pass for 9+months. Sorry B, no uterus: no opinion.

    • julie s. July 30, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      I vote for National Cheesecake Day, too…and I want to be a dick while eat my cheesecake. And sometimes when you write about B, I swear you are married to my husband.

  • Jell Jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown July 30, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    My hips hurt, too. I’ll tell them to stop being a dick. I thought the chiropractor just did that, but all this preggo relaxin is being a dick right along with my hip, so no one (i.e. parts of my body) are listening.

  • NSC July 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Modg, I love you, but you don’t know what a small closet is.

    MY closet, is HALF THE RACK YOU CLEARED FOR B. Just a little square box with an accordian door. I would kill for half your closet. Not really. Maybe.


    You are amazing and dedicated and super duper awesome for doing all that work to clear it out for B. No man ever realizes how much work goes into stuff like that.

  • Carolyn July 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    I’m literally LOL!!!! My cousin just sent me this link so I can see that I’m not alone. I have a 17 month old and am 4 weeks away from having my second child (which I’m TERRIFIED about being a mother of 2 under 2) . My husband also had our spare room as his closet or man cave and we just cleared it out to make room for the baby. So I had to give up my walk-in closet to give it to him and I’m going to take the small ass closet in the baby’s room (since I stay home and he has to get up early to go to work). This weekend I packed what felt my life away in boxes to put in the basement and shoved the things I’m using now in this tiny closet. I cried the entire time!!!!! I felt like I was loosing a piece of me (yes my closet is a piece of me!) and I feel like I don’t have a place in my own home:( Yes its all so silly but I just can’t help the way I feel. It’s SO depressing!!!! Well anyway, it’s good to know that I’m not the only crazy, hormonal person around;) Good luck to you!


  • Ang July 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Take this however you want, I’m glad I only know you through the internet.
    You’d scare me in real life. :) <- I added a smiley to soften the blow.

    Feel better!!

  • The Happy Mamma July 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    I have this H&M dress that I just can’t part with…I feel your pain, sista.
    Also, go with the top middle color.


  • Brandi@String Cheese Runner July 30, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Awwww I’m sorry you are feeling crappy! I was already a dick today and I’m not normally one. I think maybe I got the day reversed and thought I supposed to be one. They should explain these things. Whoever “they” are.

  • Sophia July 30, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    I’m a dick everyday, and I’m not pregs so you’re in good company. Totes in love with the doona cover in the spare room/G’s big boy room. Where from? I’d actually say well done B for hanging 1 pair of pants – he should teach my husband some of those skills.

  • Jen @ Ginger guide July 30, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    I don’t care what the internet says, you have a pass to be a dick for the next few months. Technically, you’re only half being a dick anyway so I think you’re good.

    Ps I’m not sure my toddler got that “don’t be a dick” memo cuz he threw the most absurd temper tantrum for no damn reason tonight. I think he needs to cut back on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and get on twitter more.

  • Marissa July 30, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    2 words for you. Closet solution. (hope that goes through for you). But seriously. We have them in our house and just had them back out to design more “solutions” for us (future child’s closet option and my office and our laundry room and etc etc!). My B has one in her closet (b/c she’s a girl and of course has millions of clothes).

    Well worth the investment.

  • Rachel July 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    One thing I’ve learned this summer is that being pregnant during the summer is grounds enough alone to be a dick. I’m enjoying my allowance of “dick”dom. :)

  • Kate July 31, 2012 at 12:13 am

    Modg, you’re psychotic (pregnancy aside). I live it.

  • Jessica July 31, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Grow a liver on my face….hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa! Hang in there, MODG, bless your heart.

  • Dawn July 31, 2012 at 10:50 am

    You can totally be a dick while preg (I am). I think you get exclusive rights to act however the hell you want while you are you know, CREATING A LIFE. At least, that’s what I’m going with. (Also, I’m at work, so my dickiness turns on as I walk through the door.)

    I totally feel ya on the closet thing. First off, the closet sizes in my house just make me want to cry. When #1 came, I lost my “spare” closet to my husband. Now that #2 is on the way, I dont know what we are going to do. Ain’t no way he’s getting a piece of the one closet I have left. Maybe I will check out Marissa’s closet link. *sigh*

  • my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you July 31, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    what the fuck kind of bullshit is that on big boy room status? this is not what we discussed.

  • Molly August 1, 2012 at 7:37 am

    If I were pregnant, had a toddler, AND had a cold I would consider sticking a bird decal on each of those gray squares, maybe adding leg warmers and a guitar…one of them would drive a truck because toddlers worship trucks. And then I would take a nap.
    Someone without a cold/parasite/toddler should help you. I don’t understand how pregs w/toddlers do anything but grow a baby and eat food off said toddler’s face.

  • Sara August 1, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Don’t Be A Dick Day sounds like it was invented by someone without a uterus or without someone living in their uterus. I hereby propose Maybe Possibly Try to Be Less of A Dick But No One Is Going To Get On Your Shit About It Or Anything Day.

  • morgan August 1, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Oh, modg…I totally have those days (weeks, months) too. It’s ok. ‘Cause if it’s ok for you, then it’s ok for me too.

  • Stacey August 1, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Tip for picking paint colors, paint them on a foam core board as opposed to the wall. The current color is a distraction for what your choosing and you can move the boards around the room for different lighting, etc. Also, if you find a color you really like you can then take the board with you while you pick out your accessories etc