Let’s talk vaginas today. Why not? It’s Tuesday. Didn’t you know that’s TalkVaginaTuesdays? Sorry it’s so late in the day. You better get in as much vagina talk between now and midnight as POSSIBLE.
So in honor of TVT, we’re going to talk about birth. Many many many of you have asked me about Yoshi’s birth. Will I have another C-section? Will I attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I can tell you this: From the moment that pee stick turned double time, this has weighed heavily on my mind.
I really didn’t know anything about my situation or my options. For those who are new here, I had planned a natural birth the first time around with midwives and birth centers and singing fairies and ended up with an unwanted cesarean. You can read the birth story here, here and here. And then, you can talk about it with people in honor of TVT.
The one thing I knew right away was that I wanted a doula. Having a doula was the best decision I made since duel room DVR’s. Especially since B took THREE naps during labor. You heard me. A good friend of mine had recently become certified to be a doula and I knew she was the winner of the game. I am very comfortable with her and she’s my favorite hippie. She also cooked food for me for weeks while I couldn’t even look a piece of bread in the face without punching it and puking.
What I didn’t know was where I was going to have this baby and how. I researched VBAC’s. I read some stuff. I read more stuff. I talked to VBAC patients. I talked to doctors. I found out that the biggest risk with VBAC is uterine rupture. Which is definitely JUST as scary as it sounds. It can rupture from your scar and if the baby doesn’t come out within like minutes, the baby dies and you probably die too. DIE. But then I found out that the chance of this happening is .4%. Double lightening strikes is more likely.
What I also didn’t know was that risks involved in a 2nd and 3rd and future c-sections is WAY higher than anyone tells you. Cutting through scar tissue over and over is dangerous. Being in major surgery in general is dangerous. A friend of a friend had a 2nd C-section and after much complication had to have a hysterectomy. I know it’s not common, but the risks are there and are greater than .4%.
So I was cool with my VBAC decision. It makes sense. Surely finding a midwife or a doctor would be easy. WRONG SONG DONG. See, in the 90’s some science wad said that it was mandatory for the hospital of a VBAC patient to have anesthesia available immediately. This scared the shit out of doctors and they stopped supporting VBAC’s. One thing I know about doctors is that they do whatever it takes to protect themselves. And anything that lessens risk for them they are going to push on you. So no, I could not find a doctor for the life of me. I got very discouraged.
What I could find was a ton of midwives who would deliver Yoshi…AT HOME. Woah. Home birth? I mean I did always want a water birth like I see on a Baby Story. It would be nice to not be in a hospital having every last drug shoved down my throat. But I had to think…at what point am I doing this more for me and less for Yoshi? Now I don’t blame anyone for having a home birth. I think it’s a great option. But with a VBAC there is SOME risk involved. And being the mental patient headcase that I am, I’d be a nervous wreck. So I was determined to find a hospital and a doctor or midwife who would support me.
In the entire Philadelphia area (and I’m talking entire area) I found 3 places that I could go to. A midwife who delivers at a hospital (my first choice), a traditional OBGYN practice that delivers at a hospital and a practice of midwives that delivers at UPENN (which is sort of far for us). I’m meeting with the midwife next week and I have all of my fingers crossed.
Now, I’ll say all of this:
1) Please PLEASE do not leave me comments with your horror story VBAC. Please also do not email me. I have already received emails and I understand that you had a bad experience, but I’m trying to stay positive.
2) Although I’m really pushing for a vagina birth, I’m not totally sure I’m going to be able to have a natural birth. Trust, I would love to. But I’ve been through labor before and it’s damn hard. I’m going to take classes and educate the shit out of myself this time so when some nurse says “I’m going to stick this in your vagina now”, I know the risks and benefits for myself.
3) Yes, the most important thing is Yoshi’s health. And if there was any risk or chance that a vaginal birth would hurt Yoshi, I would have another c section. However I really do believe that a vaginal birth is not only healthier for me and the baby, it’s less risk than another c-section.
And with that, I give you TVT. Please really take the time to enjoy the rest of TalkVaginaTuesday. It only comes once a week.
And in a totally unrelated note: To advertisers and those who have contacted me about advertising. I will get back to you. I’m still trying to get back into the swing of things after being sick. I’m still not 100% but I promise we’ll get things going again. To current advertisers: I’ve given you like a billion weeks free as a thank you for my lack of being a human lately.