I'm funny

I’m also not locked up in a room reading 50 Shades of Grey. Totally not.

April 20, 2012

Hello friends and enemies,

I’m here to inform you that I will be on a short leave of absence from the blog. It won’t be too long so don’t freak your shit at me in the comments. I however have some super life things to attend to and I didn’t want you to think that I was 1) dead or 2) diseased. I am neither.

I will leave you now to gossip and speculate. As I would do.

I’ll get you started.

“omg did you hear that modg is dead and diseased? She’s totally a bitch sell out. I heard that she’s totally getting paid by Rubella and Polio to mention them”

Be back soon.

In the mean time, you can enjoy this.

You Might Also Like

  • smashleighmm April 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Do your thing, we’ll be here when you get back. I sparkle promise.

  • Suzanne April 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Weren’t you pregnant the last time you took a “leave of absence”….?

    • Sara April 20, 2012 at 11:21 pm

      That was my initial thought too!!

      • A April 21, 2012 at 9:25 pm

        Totally think you are getting prego

        • La Nina April 26, 2012 at 2:11 am

          Ya!!!!!! “Sharing is caring and peeing is believing” or something like that… dead. giveaway. lol

          Back in the pink polka dot days… 😉

  • Lauren April 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    MODG, I have to express my deepest disappointment in the fact that you have jumped on the bandwagon that is “50 Shades of Gray”. I read it and I’m ashamed to admit it. I will never have that time back. I’m not a prude. Just the opposite in fact. I love sex and I love to read about it when it’s well written. However, if that dumb effing naive womanchild referred to her vagina as “down there” or said “Holy Crap” one more time… I just don’t get it. Ok, off my soap box.

    P.S. – Glad to hear you’re not dead :)

    • erin April 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Well said! I agree. I couldn’t even bother with the second and third.

    • Rebecca Meier April 22, 2012 at 7:22 pm

      Reading “50 Shades of Grey” right now and thinking it’s pretty terrible as well….If she refers to her ‘inner goddess’ one more damned time I might just throw up!

      • La Nina April 26, 2012 at 2:15 am

        (*just my interpretation) I don’t think she’s on the 50 Shades Bandwagon, nor does her absence have anything to do with her reading them.

        (If that IS the reason tho, she’s a really slow reader… not judging, just saying…) 😉

        • Krista May 8, 2012 at 9:10 am

          For some reason I enjoyed the book and not going to lie, I enjoyed my husband every night…he had no idea what I was reading! haha. However, if I had to read the word “murmur” one more time, I thought I might barf! The author needs a better…vocab. But wait, isn’t that part of what makes a great author? The use of words? Oh well.

  • Suzanne April 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Weren’t you pregnant the last time you took a “leave of absence” from the blog….?

  • Elyse April 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Hope you’re ok, MODG.
    Your recent posts have seemed a bit sad of late and lacking your usual sparkle and unicorn magic.
    Enjoy your break and have some ‘me’ time. Plus more time with B & G will never be a bad thing.


  • Alex @ Before The Baby Wakes April 20, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    Boo! Not acceptable! Better be really good super life things.

  • Kelly April 20, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Suzanne has a good point MODG. I’m gonna start a preg rumor. Preg with a vampire baby named Britney rumor. Come back soon, we will miss you!! Peace & muffins!

  • Keltie April 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    I figured you were preoccupied with something (impending fame and preparing to field broadway offer and such) and have been missing your posts terribly. Like nothing is funny anymore, no one tells me stories about their vagenius health, baby craps, amazing pinterest finds, how to get the skinnies, what stuff to buy that isn’t total junk, and why extreme tv-watching is important for optimal health. We are a rudderless ship, take care of your biznass and come back to us soon. That sounded much more dramatic and desperate than I mean it to be. Or, as Liz Lemon (my other spiritual touchstone) would say: OPPOSITE!!

  • Erica April 20, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    FIFTY. SHADES. OF. GREY. Omfg…I’m on the second book and let me tell you how addicted I am. The 2nd one mid way is getting a little lame- I mean really? I’ve heard “baby” and how she orgasms a little too much by now. But I just can’t stop reading….
    Please return soon- what else am I gonna do at work?

  • ali April 20, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    you are totally preg, aren’t you……

    • Kelly April 21, 2012 at 12:05 am

      Yes! With a vampire of course! (super sparkly they are!)

  • The Happy Mamma April 20, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    OMG, I really hope you’re pregs again because I need some good ole’ MODG entertainment! And what’s more entertaining than two kiddos? MODG with two kiddos!!!!!

    Also, posting photos of G totally counts as a post. That might make us die-hards have a few less DTs. Just sayin.

  • KMW April 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    Everyone deserves a little “out of the spotlight” time, without speculation. You just do your awesomeness and come back to us refreshed and renewed with cereal marshmallow sparkle.

    But we’ll miss you. Looking forward to your return!

  • Amy L. April 21, 2012 at 7:40 am

    You are off somewhere on a set filming Crossroads 2, aren’t you?!

    • Beth May 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm

      Best comment ever.

  • Jessica April 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

    We will so be here when you get back. Muchas Smoochas (stolen from the best strip of Calvin and Hobbes ever).

  • Stephanie April 21, 2012 at 10:46 am

    I’m going to pretend that you are off somewhere organizing a Full House reunion.

  • Cortnie April 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Enjoy your break from it all – you deserve it!!

    (Just don’t forget to come back, k?)


  • Julialifeisart April 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Before you go on hiatus, can you at least tell us what the best white t-shirt is? I need to know!

  • harbormom April 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Take as much time as you need. Just not too much. No, really…whatever it takes. So long as it’s not, like, a really long time. I’ll feed and water the unicorns…

  • Brianne April 22, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I know I’m the eleventy-millionth person to mention this, but I’m not above jumping on bandwagons, soooooo…the last time you took a “leave of absence” you were all sorts of knocked up. So of course we’re going to jump to the conclusion that you’re once again growing a baby MODG. Is G going to be a big brother?!?! Whatever it is I hope it’s full of sparkles and rainbows and Super Danny Tanner Hearts Club tee shirts, NOT anything bad or sad.

  • Tania April 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    You totally should have put her face on a monkey’s ass!

  • Susannah April 23, 2012 at 8:36 am

    FYI… I had high hopes but the sad truth is that the writing is just as bad and even more painful by the time you get through all 3 books… I kind of want to kick Ana Steele in the teeth.

  • Lauren @ Turquoise & Gold April 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    I heard that modg is getting extensive dental work done. That’s why she never shows her teeth in pictures.

  • Kiki April 24, 2012 at 8:56 am

    As long as you share all your super secret adventures with us when you return, all will be forgiven. And if you don’t . . . . . . well, all will be forgiven. Hope you are enjoying you super life things.

    I totally want a Britney monkey now.

  • Katie April 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I’m very glad to learn that you are neither dead or diseased because I really enjoy your blog. You had me hooked when you recommended those Puma baby socks. They are amazing and miraculous because they stay on my little guy’s fat little feet all day long. Hope the super life things involve something super fun, and good luck with the acting debut!

  • Katie April 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    I’m glad to learn that you are neither dead nor diseased because I really enjoy your blog. You had me hooked when you recommended those baby Puma socks. They are amazing and miraculous because they stay on my little guy’s fat little feet all day long and for this I am grateful! I hope the super life things are super fun and good luck with the acting debut!

  • Lauren April 24, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Back yet? Jk. :)

  • Morgan April 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    While you are gone (pretending not to be pregnant… duh, that’s why you left the first time) can we get some guest posts about chocolate booze or a new single guy. My internet fun sites and dwindling.
    Speaking of peeing (someone mentioned it in an earlier comment) I recently thought of you MODG while I was in the bathroom (I’m sure you’re flattered) since it appears I, too, have recently become OBSESSED with peeing on a stick. Watching those little lines appear is like MAGIC! MAGIC FROM MY PEE!

  • Melissa April 27, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Dear MODG,

    I miss your snarkyness. It makes my days complete. Please hurry back.
    That is all.


    • Jen April 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

      I agree. My life is somehow incomplete everytime I click my bookmarked MODG page and I see no new post.

      Hurry back from your anti-dying and/or diseased super life things

  • Kelley April 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

    It’s been a week. Come back!!!!!

    Luckily I have just joined your readers in the past year, so I can go back to old posts and read like they’re new. BUT, still want some new, hiLARious MODG to enjoy while I extend my lunch break to two hours.

  • AshleEeeeEEeEEEe April 29, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    MODG…okay so I’ve read all the preg stuff, so I’m a little glad you stepped out for awhile so I could get caught up to real time (I feel like I’ve been reading the best novel that doesn’t stop. thanks for that.) but really…COME BACK IT’S BEEN 9 DAYSSSSS!!! Also your preg file must have sparked something beeeeeecause I found out today that I’m PREGGO…again. super yay!! and maybe you are too and that’s why you are gone….speculations….My daughter is about the same age as G (She was born 10-05-10) so maybe we are going to be preg sisters again…come back and let us know what’s up already!!!

  • sarah April 30, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    ok so I still check in like MULTIPLE times a day to see if you’re back. If this is some sort of publicity stunt to make us want you more, its working. Sigh.

    Also i am dying for a new list of stuff I need to buy. And i need to to know what Pete thinks about some things. WAHHHHH.

    You better be prego, and not just off at some spa doing some sort of crazy celeb juice cleanse (wine and candy cleanse?) to get all sorts’s of “ready for bikini season”…

  • KT April 30, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    I miss you. 10 days is too long to go without MODG updates.

  • Jen May 1, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Is it butt nuggets again? Because you can type standing up, you know. JS