The 6 foods that get me through a diet. Fine, one is booz. Whatever.

Now that I’m the winner of So You Think You Can Dance: Blog Edition, I’ll be holding dance class in my living room once every never. Stop by.

So here’s my update for everyone on The Project:

I’m working my way though my workout dvd collection. I’m taking the philosophy of P90x and ghetto-izing it. Their philosophy is do a different workout every day so your muscles get confused. Apparently you want confused muscles. I figure that I can do this on my own, wiht my own dvd collection because I’m a genius. Thanks to my addiction to buying workout dvd’s, this is very possible. So I’ve just been doing a new workout every day. Last week I took 2 days off because 1) I was busy and 2) I didn’t care. I have been on The Project for 8 days now and have not repeated a dvd yet. And I won’t for a while. I know. Look away and stop judging.

So no, I have not danced with the big T-Dog again yet. I forgot everything that I learned so I am no where near just putting on that bad boy and dancing for an hour. I do however want another dance dvd. They are so fun.

NO. WHAT AM I SAYING?

I just said how I haven’t even been through all of my workout dvd’s yet and I’m plotting my next purchase. What is wrong with me?

Results: I feel great and I think I’m definitely gaining muscle. I don’t think I’ve lost any weight yet but after the soreness of 30 beasts wore off, I felt like I could feel real muscles in my stomach and butt. That’s a golden prize. The other result is that I’m not bored. And get this: I actually look forward to my workout when I put G down for his nap in the morning. OH. That reminds me. For those of you who were like, “wow G let’s you workout? That’s so great”. PLEASE. That child doesn’t let me open the refrigerator, let alone do a whole freakin workout. It happens when he naps.

That was hard. Mentally, giving up part of his nap where I gloriously internet, or lay around, or watch dvr’d housewife wedding makeover haunted pageant psychic babies shows. But once I did it, it was cake. I was like, DUH I’m an asshole. I should have been doing this all along.

I think I’m doing well with this because my standards are low low low like sho’ty. For those of you who weren’t with me through the unspeakable times, I’ll remind you. I did a total elimination diet to figure out G’s allergies while breastfeeding for months. TOTAL ELIMINATION means you eliminate every possible allergen and add them back in slowly. That means so dairy, soy, wheat, citrus, caffeine, chocolate, tomato, sugar OR ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES REGULAR FOOD. So I’m not about deprivation any more. I’m about doing whatever you can and being happy with it.

That brings us to the food portion of The Project. We’ve taken out all of the shit in the house. And by taken out, I mean it exited through the toilet, via my butt. What? Too much? It’s true. I had a bon voyage party for the awesome foods in the pantry. Now we house nothing awesome. Well, not true. I have a few staples that I’ll share with you that help me through times like these:

This is a great chocolate sold at Trader Joe’s. Don’t eat the whole bar fatty. Just a piece or two. After dinner when I need something sweet, I’ll have a little section with my red wine. Then I shower so I don’t think about eating the rest covered with a cinnamon bun.

Around these parts we call this broccolate. Because it doesn’t taste like super amazing and it’s healthy in some totally not healthy way. But it’s good to know how many calories are going in. Again, have it with red wine and then shower.  Sort of like a cold shower for a 14 year old boy.

Aaaah Ak Mak. When B and I were dating and he was (in my mind) some California hippie, I always told him that he ate twigs and sticks and the like. This falls into that category. Prob more twig than stick. But it’s a relatively good cracker if you need some crunch in your life. Great with hummus or sunflower butter or almond butter (I like sun butter best).

Dude….Larabars are the BEST. I learned about these when I was gluten free. The ingredients are like 3. Dates, cashew and then a fruit like cherry or apple. THAT’S IT. G lives on these with me too. They are so awesome and taste like super heros.

Ok, these are a little bit of a bad thing. But if you don’t eat the whole damn tub at once, you’ll be cool. They are almonds, in dark chocolate WITH SEA SALT. Do you even know? Do you? Put salt on anything sweet and I’ll eat it….especially nuts….(I HANDED that one to you)

But nuts in general are a big go-to when I’m trying to be healthy. Any time I want to grab something to snack on,  I grab cashews or almonds or some other nut.

And no, I will not be giving up wine. It’s part 2 of my 3 part plan (little awesome food, wine, shower). If you follow my 3 part plan, you too can be super fancy skinny awesome.

 

And that’s where we are. In terms of videos, I’ll be shooting one creating some healthy dinner recipes. I’m not really a good cook. But I’ll show you my stuff.

Oh and to those of you who recommended Physique 57 to me….we are not friends. That bitch is CUHRAZZY and should not be rapping.

That is all.

How is everyone else doing?

WORD OUT

MODG

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

POSTED IN: Drunk Stuff,Eating Innapropriately

{ 49 comments }

Kelly @Dare to be Domestic January 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Well done girl! I really like… make that LOVE your bit of chocolate, glass of wine and a shower concept. Totally implementing that!

heatheradair January 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Diggin the food recommendations. Also ditto the nut thing, because nuts seem to be one of those things that I can chomp on til my jaw hurts, then feel good about it.

Embarked on operation “lose the love pounds.” Cuz when my mr wonderful and I met, we spent the early days of in-love drinking bottles of wine and eating chocolate and watching reality TV all day. Then lathered, rinsed, and repeated that action for 2 years. That’s 2 years of bottles of wine and cake and reality tv. that makes a lady more va-va-voom than the lady would prefer she be.

SO — I’m skipping the ms Tracy Anderson neck-lessness and heading straight to the lara bars and almonds and crap. Cuz I can still eat those while watching Bravo shows. Which is the important stuff.

Cat January 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Dark chocolate is my secret weapon. If I have none around the house, I will bake a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies and eat them all before they’ve cooled enough to touch. If I have dark chocolate on hand, I will have one square – and stop. It’s the only explanation I have for the fact that I could seriously live in mac’n’cheese or cake, but I’m still relatively petite :) Love the list – I’m GF and will have to check out those Larabars

Britt January 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Still working on my Ripped in 30 DVDs. Had a killer headcold last week, so only worked out for three days instead of my usual 5. But I am feeling fit, and I can see abs, I kid you not. Also, I’m eating clean like 80% of the time, with the exception of wine. But I LOVE your chocolate idea. I really wish canada had Trader Joe’s, or Whole Foods.

LadyHAHA January 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I’m waiting on my elliptical to get here and OF COURSE using this as a means to buy me time before working out. (by buying time, I mean raping my face with all the bad food in the house) But it will be here this week and it is then I will join you in losing this giant third boob I call my stomach. I plan on doing the elliptical with a mix of my Turbo Fire DVDS (omg these DVDS. longs story but the lady is cray cray which explains why they’re still in the package.) THANK YOU for the food ideas! I am so bad at that – especially with the sweets (eating HALF of a chunky monkey pint is healthy eating for me) – gotta look for these next time I go to the grocery!

melissa January 16, 2012 at 4:40 pm

“raping my face”
love it.

DomesticatedGal January 16, 2012 at 4:40 pm

2 kids. One of whom

DomesticatedGal January 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm

2 kids. One of whom I still regularly see throughout the night. So giving up nap time, when we only get ONE around here? Is all that’s stopping me from the skinnies.

Well that and the bag of Reese Minis in the back of the freezer. Don’t worry, though, they won’t be a problem for much longer….

Kiera January 16, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Dark chocolate is the best invention ever. I can each some every day & still feel good about my diet when I go to bed at night. Amazing…

KMW January 16, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I’m still trying to get my little one on some sort of sleep schedule so that I can do things like a) work b) get my ass back to the gym for yoga/pilates/zumba c) watch the endless amount of shows my TV PVR’d – not necessarily in that order. BTW zumba = super fun dance workout but I’m just not coordinated enough to follow the instructor so I stay at the back and just wiggle my butt for an hour. HAS to be doing something right? RIGHT?

Lara January 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I have been trying to diet since mid December. I suck at working out, and have no dvd’s. But I use Spark People to track my calories. And I cheat on the weekends for my own sanity. But my husband makes it seriously hard to eat well because when he cooks it’s like, here’s the mashed potatoes, here’s the gravy and fried goodness. But I’m trying.

Keltie January 16, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I have done SFA. Well, that’s not entirely true. It was my birthday last week and I ate and ENTIRE CAKE (minus 2 slices) over the course of 4 days. I also had twizzlers and jube jubes today.

PS I have the So You Think You Can Dance workout videos. There are two. This is a real thing. That has been in my drawer for 2 years and I’ve never done it. Maybe this week.

Anya January 16, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I’m not sure if you can find a DVD version of this anywhere, but if you can, I think this should be the next addition to your collection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BrpZe8PUBI

demi January 16, 2012 at 5:19 pm

This is awesome! Kudos! I too had to do my workouts during my baby’s naps. It’s the only way I could lose 50 lbs of my post baby fattiness. I too have never given up wine. Results can still happen! Keep it up girl!

Vanessa January 16, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Have you tried the pussy cat dolls work out dvd. I just saw it on TV last night and I really want to try it.

Hallie1986 January 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I am ashamed (and oddly proud) to admit this, but my workout DVD collection would make your collection go cry in a corner. It takes up an ENTIRE two shelf bookcase. I live 30 minutes from anything, and when I can’t (or more often don’t want to) get outside and run I work out to a DVD.

My go to workout buddy is Bob Harper. His timing is wonderful, he’s not as catty as Jillian and I like to look at him. X-TrainFit At Home is a good workout series for women as well. I highly suggest that.

I still have my P90X DVDs collecting dust in the bookcase, but I just can’t handle Tony Horton’s crazy.

Daisy January 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I have all 6 of these foods in my house and yet, still working on the skinnies. I must be doing something wrong. I shall investigate & report back. (What? You can’t eat ALL the nuts in one sitting? Weird.)

Kana January 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Oh, sadness. Another “eat healthy: eat NUTS!” thingy. I don’t have a nut allergy but I cannot stomach those little effers, hated them since I was a kiddo. Won’t even eat a brownie w/nuts on it. (I KNOW, RIGHT?!?) I have the hardest time finding good nutrition guides because they’re allllll like “OMG nuts 4 eva!” The peeps with for reals nut allergies must be REALLY over it by now. Got any ‘healthy snacking’ nut-alternatives? (Anyone? …..anyone? Beuller?)
BUT! I really like your ghetto P90X strategy, and since I’m also a compulsive workout DVD buyer I will be trying that brilliance ASAP.

Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) January 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

You’ve succeeded in making me want chocolate and wine.

Kelleyellen January 16, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I refuse to give up booze, everything in moderation as my grandmother-in-law says, and she’s almost 100 (and skinny!) and still enjoying her pasta & vino. Of course, she’s Italian, like off the boat Italian, so she knows how to eat and drink well.

Meaghan @ Bambino Mom January 16, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Lucky your husband eats hippie sticks and crackers and shit. Mine brings home entire pies, rolls, bags of candy… and he STAYS SKINNY! I’m weaning from breastfeeding (which was my only saving grave when partaking in his all-sugar diet), so I’m about to have to kick my butt into gear. And I’m thinking your plan sounds about right. Count me in. I’ll report back regularly… assuming it all goes well.

Meaghan @ Bambino Mom January 16, 2012 at 10:25 pm

P.S. I see you enjoy TJ’s. Next time you’re there, get the chocolate bar with hazelnuts near the register. If you like nuts, and I know you do, you’ll love this one. I think it has like 30% hazelnuts on the label or something.

Thank me later.

Em in Mo January 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm

I’ve been doing so many Pilates mat workouts I think I’ve cracked my tailbone. It’ amazing how many movements in normal daily life seem to involve that damn tailbone. Ouch.
I have a DVD collection that includes, no joking, EVERY. SINGLE. MARI WINDSOR PILATES dvd. EVER. I order the free 30 day trial or whatever many years ago and then never got around to canceling it. I just kept getting new videos every few weeks. I think they just started making up random videos to send to that dumb lady who just keeps letting us charge her credit card.
So, for real. I have about 30 Mari Windsor Pilates dvds.
And about 6 Tae Bo dvds.
And a New York City Ballet workout. And few post natal boot camps. And pre natal boot camps. And post natal yoga. And pre natal yoga.
I think that if I just sit on top of the stack of dvds that I may get thinner.
And, it is because of all those dvds that I have a gym membership and a plan at a Pilates studio.

Jen January 16, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Love broccolate. I’ve convinced myself that it doesn’t have any lactose and therefore awesome for the rest of my milk-less life.

eileen marie January 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Keep up the good work, MODG! Btw, what’s that super-delicious wine you discovered some time ago -I can’t find the post and want some…to give as a gift…yeah that’s it.

colleen January 17, 2012 at 6:26 am

certain things are worth giving up. wine is not. amen to that.

Beckles January 17, 2012 at 8:34 am

I saw somewhere that wine helps with belly fat. Red wine more than white. I’m pretty sure it’s a real thing and I’m not making it up. Probably.

Julie January 17, 2012 at 9:23 am

Well hopefully the strep throat I am currently miserable with will at least help me drop a couple of pounds. Next week I will play along in a more conventional manner, with dvds and some sort of self control. I was going to try the ‘Insanity’ series, which just may well KILL ME~

Mindy Clarke January 17, 2012 at 9:39 am

Do you think that frozen thin mints could be considered okay if you only eat like 2 (maybe 3 a night) and not have wine?
Who am I kidding, I still have wine.
I bought “healthy” (ish) breakfast sandwiches and some lean cuisines for the lunch for the rest of the week – this is the start of TRYING TO DO SOMETHING good for my body.. we will see.

Me January 17, 2012 at 9:46 am

I love Fetzer Merlot…its my favorite. spicy…dry…inexpensive.

Madonna July 27, 2012 at 5:27 am

“… a small part of these problems was cesuad by the people responsible for attempting to cool the planet …”Well, I dunno about “small”, at least for some parts of Texas (and probably the UK), where these same idiots talked politicians (i.e. other idiots) into pouring huge sums of taxpayer money into electrical generating systems which don’t work instead of leaving the free market to build generating systems which do, resulting in rolling blackouts at the worst possible time: a freak ice storm right before Super Bowl Sunday.Thanks for another thought-provoking memo.

Michelle @ funlikewedo January 17, 2012 at 10:25 am

I’m on board with The Plan, MODG. I’m not a workout DVD junkie, but I have an elliptical machine and treadmill that have been collecting dust. So, my goal is to use one or the other everyday while catching up on the DVR. I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and I’ve had a permanent ghost baby. Time for that sucker to go. Also, totally on board with the red wine. I would fail miserably at any plan that didn’t include booze.

Kristin M January 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

Oh Modg, how I love you! You have inspired me to get off my ass and finally shed some of the “I have a 7 month old” baby weight. I work out to this crazy broad – http://www.bodyrock.tv – if you are feeling stupid, check her out. Anyways, keep it up. I really wish I would have taped myself doing Shaun T’s Hip Hop Abs, that was the shit and I felt like the best dancer EVER (fully knowing that I am white with no rhythm) Here’s to skinny jeans and skinny drinks! :)

Lorah January 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

I wish I liked dark chocolate. I despise it. It tastes so bitter to me… So I eat the full on milk chocolate haha!

Natalie January 17, 2012 at 11:46 am

I did 30 Day Shred for the first time last night. I was all “oh it’s just 20 minutes, piece of cake” and then it kicked my butt, so I had to eat a real piece of cake to make me feel better. My muscles are screaming today. I also have Jillian’s Killer Buns and Thighs, but I haven’t tried it yet. I’m just hoping that combined, I get miracles before my Cancun vacay in 25 days. Christmas may have left some unwanted fatties hanging around.

Bridget January 17, 2012 at 11:51 am

I need to try all of these!! I’m going to attempt to start yoga this week….attempt is the key word.

Kristen January 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Love your diet plans, I’m starting one myself after my son’s birth and couldn’t agree more with your approach!

Jessica January 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm

You’ve inspired me and I started the 30 day shred. Even though Jillian weirds me out a little. Ok, a lot. Also, Kashi “go lean” rolls are these sorta granola/candy bars with super high fiber & pretty good ingredients and holy crap they make me full. Also, you continue to make me love you more all the time. I heart wine.

Sara January 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm

MODG, You seem to be the master of DVD workout’s, so I need your help! I am getting married soon and want to be super skinny (think RHOBH skinny). What’s the best DVD workout? I have a puppy and I feel bad leaving him home at night when he’s been home all day while I’m at work, so I figure a workout DVD will have to do.

Lluvia January 17, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Nice.
Thanks for all the snack ideas. All those look yummy. I was disappointed at my Trader Joe’s food selection, so I shop at Whole Foods (when I can afford it) which is down the block from my house, anyway. I drink wine once in a while, but I love love love nuts! Will be heading to Trader Joe’s and maybe give them a second chance.

Stephanie January 17, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I did the 30 day shred over the summer when I was trying to lose weight for my wedding. I found that some of the combinations were far too ass kicking, and I eventually just used exercises from each level and made my own 30 day shred, keeping the video on in the background so I could get the timing right. I only did it every other day though, alternating with cardio at the gym.

I love the chocolate food recommendations, but if anyone has more salty, crunchy recommendations, I would love to hear them. I can go for months without eating a single sweet, but put me in the vicinity of french fries, chips or anything that is salty, and I lose all control.

Whitney January 18, 2012 at 1:05 am

Well, considering I just ate an entire batch of crescent rolls (half cinnamon roll with frosting and the other half with chocolate gravy) I think it’s safe to say I’m still in the “fulfilling their destiny” stage. This happens every time my husband goes out of town. I eat all the crap I can because no one is here to judge me, but the second he gets home I’m back eating grapes and oranges. This post is motivating though! I’m going to check my Walmart to see if they sell Larabars since there is no Trader Joe’s in my state…

Hannah Elise January 18, 2012 at 11:30 am

Anks for sharing about the LARAbars… I am quite possibly going gluten-free soon (awaiting blood test results ATM) and having a few quick “on-the-go” snacks around like that would be handy. Other than almonds. Especially since I just discovered that my beloved dark chocolate-covered coffee beans are made in a plant that also handles wheat. *whine* But, if it turns out to be Celiac, at least I’ll have an answer for this crazy weight-loss/fatigue thing I’ve had going on postpartum.

Naturopathic Doctor, reviewing food diary and prior blood work: there’s no way you should be losing weight this much, even if you ARE nursing. Have they never tested you for Celiac?
Me:Um. No?
ND: *shakes head*
Me: I’ve always had a high metabolism, it just kinda seemed to go into overddrive after pregnancy.
ND: it prolly wasn’t high metabolism; you’ve just never been properly absorbing nutrients.
Me: …oh.

So the more I’ve shoveled that wondrous whole wheat penne pasta into m mouth, the more I’ve been aggrravating my system, the fewer nutrients I absorb, the more weight I lose… yeah, that’s fun.

And y’all prolly hate me, eating like a fied and LOSING weight, but…. nevertheless. Thank you for sharing. And if you have any other gluten-free secret snacks you want to share, I’m all ears!

touchyfeeley January 18, 2012 at 11:47 am

Are you doing anything like counting calories or points? Just wondering if you were following a particular program. Thanks!

NSC January 19, 2012 at 9:33 am

Thanks for the larabars suggestion…some of the breakfast bars I’ve been trying (gluten free) are not so awesome. And good luck to me finding anything without soy in it.

SO nice to hear about something to eat that isn’t rabbit food.

Bailey@peppermintbliss January 19, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I blogged about this today but I am doing a humiliation diet situation on my blog…i.e. turning Fridays on PB into a sort of weight watchers meeting…I need that accountability to lose my baby weight. I bought Tracy Anderson and Slim in 6. I am drinking about a bottle of skinny girl margs a night to avoid eating a half gallon of peppermint ice cream, which isn’t ideal…And I’m eating healthy. I have 35 post baby pounds to lose.
Also, as a fellow csectioner, if you figure out how to make things resemble before…the trauma…I would be greatly appreciative.

LadyHAHA January 20, 2012 at 9:43 am

Crap. The elliptical is here….. ;p

Jen Johnson (@JenBetweenDots) January 21, 2012 at 12:52 am

Did you know you can make your own Larabars super easily? My sister made me some the other day – she basically took dried fruit (pears, apricot, prunes), walnuts and/or cashews, dash of sea salt and some cocoa powder, ground that shit up in the food processor, pile it into a pyrex or similar glass cake pan thing and put it in the fridge. Voila! Cheap and easy. You can make all different kinds too, I found more good recipes here

Katie E. January 21, 2012 at 1:23 am

Well, this week wasn’t such a great week for me health wise. One of my grandmothers passed, (for those of you who aren’t Southern, that’s my gentle way of saying she died). We were expecting and got to say good bye and all that, but it has been a hard, sad week. And that hard, sad week required some chocolate, and Coca Cola, and some sweet tea. Today I am back on track with the diet, and I am pretty sure giving my house an OCD cleaning for my M’s 1st birthday party tomorrow counts as a workout. Good luck ladies, and remember what a stupid ex of mine told me in the middle of a 5 mile run: pain is just weakness leaving the body. I left him at the end of that run. Have a good weekend.

Previous post:

Next post: