small beings

This isn’t the first time I’ve imagined a gaggle of babies plotting against me. Please, like you haven’t.

January 2, 2012

Hello friends. 2012 looks sexy on you. So far, 2012 has brought me the following things:

1) a yeast infection (thank you antibiotics. Any drug that makes your vagina turn against you is questionable at best)

2) a family cold. I am the 3rd and final recipient of the mucus award.

3) a toddler. And with that toddler comes the many battles that ultimately create:

FOOD WARS. (which is not nearly as awesome as Cupcake Wars)

First, I should tell you that I’m using the word “toddler” liberally. Toddler implies actual toddling and G flat out refuses to walk or really even stand without holding onto something. He totally has the ability to do it, he just doesn’t feel like it. Sort of like 8 year old MODG in a stroller at Disney World. Whatever, you would too if you could. So I can’t fault the kid. However we *are* talking about the child who “opted out” of the crawling option all together, so it’s moderately feasible that I could have a 15 year old scooting around on the kitchen floor. Jesusgod.

I digress.

It was only but weeks ago that my child was a straight up food hole. If I put it in front of him, he ate it. And then he ate more of it. I’m talking broccoli, asparagus, zucchini …like serious kid poison. We thought maybe we would be lucky and escape the great toddler food protest.

We were wrong.

I swear, these kids use the monitors in our houses to communicate with other babies while we think they are napping to plot against us.

Babies: We hear you’re eating food in an agreeable manner. You must stop this immediately

G: But food is great. I like it all.

Babies: FOOL. THEY ARE GIVING YOU CRAP. If your refuse you get things like watermelon and cereal.

G: Well, I do like watermelon and cereal.

Babies: After your protest, they will think that you will starve so they will give you whatever you want.

G: OK, I’M IN.

And so it began. Our great chunky monkey eater turned into a pissy toddler with *opinions*.  They say that the longer you spend cooking something for a child, the less likely it is they will eat it. But what they are really saying is “Sister, just take that fresh organic turkey burger with vegetables and cheese and baby growing vitamins and throw it on the floor, then make a sick face at it, then gag a little and then scream. Save yourself the time.”

Dramababy=dramatoddler. FOR REAL PEOPLE.

The child had a cheeseburger. A GD CHEESEBURGER. It touched his tongue and he scraped it off and literally gagged. He looked at the food on his plate and gagged again FROM LOOKING AT IT.

Did I tell you that like 2 weeks ago the kid ate TWO cheeseburgers? Now I know I know I KNOW that kids do this. They go through phases. They eat they don’t eat. But I can’t keep up. And also I sort of panicked.

So I turned to my friend Amazon.

Amazon, please help me. My child won’t eat. Oh, you’d like me to buy this cookbook that will put healthy foods into other foods and be sneaky? PROBLEM SOLVED! Amazon however did not actually send the chef to cook the sneaky foods, just the damn book. I had a similar problem when Amazon told me to buy a workout dvd.

Then I  purchase every sort of food that a child would eat just so that he actually does eat. Gone are the days where I even tried to cook everything from scratch and count fruits and vegetables and grains and proteins. PLEASE. I have a freezer of shit with Big Bird and Elmo on it. And I think food is inside. And then it goes like this:

Me: G, I made your favorite…PIZZA!

G: (looks curiously and tilts head at delicious pizza)

Me: (holds breathe)

G: (sticks his finger in it slowly as if to check for hidden razor blades)

Me: It’s good, you’ll love it! See mommy eats it!

G: ….



For those of you who do not speak toddler, that sound is like the worse impression of crying that you could do. It’s like you’re not even trying. But you want to make a sound that is as annoying as a nuclear explosion. And you know that you will get your way before everyone’s ears bleed.

I hear that sound 76 times a day.

So here we are people. It’s a total stand off. I don’t know if I can win this war. But damn straight I will try and go down fighting. We need to ban together and fight against them together. WE WENT TO COLLEGE PEOPLE, WE CAN DO THIS.

Please leave me any top secret tips to get kids to eat things. Remember, G is only one. So bribery and easy stuff doesn’t work.

Thank you and good luck to you. It’s rough out there.


Battleship MODG


I want to thank the fine people at Katy and Zucchini for making this cry for help possible. They make the best coolest shit ever for kids and now adults too. Like you know how being a nerd is cool now? They call it “hipster” but let’s be real people. Nerds are so 2012. I especially want this. Mostly because my friend who lives in abu dhabi gets one every time she eats food. Although my friend is not a baby. Maybe it would fit though. Use code MODG20 for 20% off FOR YOUR NERD HERD.



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  • jessica January 2, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    My just turned 1 year old who, like G, refuses to walk ALSO has this issue about having an opinion. I thought they did what we told them to do. Anyways…around 10/11 months he started becoming real picky about food. Here’s what I do: take the meat or veggies and wrap a little bit of bread around it. Make sure it is mostly covered with bread and then set it down and say, “Look sugars, mommy just gave you a peice of bread!” It works for us. Or cover everything with cheese (bread + cheese = the only things he likes…wait, but not pizza.) Babies are confusing and have been since day one.

  • Brooke S January 2, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    Try this. We had to read this book in one of my nutrition classes in college. It’s an old book, but has some good hippy shit in it. It also goes through the life cycle of a person. So you can reference this book when G decides he needs to be a vegetarian or some other crazy phase.

  • Gia January 2, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    OMG. We are fighting the same battle. It is ridiculous. The kid was an eating machine a week ago and now he won’t eat anything. It is ridic.

  • Mallory January 2, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    I recently found your blog and love it! I, too, have a drama-toddler who is 15 months old. He started getting pissy about food around 12 months. I freaked out that he was protesting the end of breastfeeding by refusing all forms of food entirely until I realized that he would eat whatever I gave him as long as I gave him his own spoon. I’m pretty sure it was his way of telling me he was now a man not a baby and was over feeding himself with his hands. I’m sure you’ve already tried this one, but if not I hope it helps as Landon is back to being a human garbage disposal (thank god).

    • Modg January 2, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      Yesss he dies for spoons. But he just wants to play and bang and smash. How do I get him to actually use it for good and not evil?

      • Mallory January 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm

        I started by helping him feed himself yogurt…not easy because at first he would freak out thinking I was taking the spoon from him. Once he let me do that then he started letting me feed him the rest with my spoon, maybe because he realized he was hungry and that I wasn’t trying to feed him poison? Who knows…it may end up on the walls but it’s worth a try!

      • Thereset January 2, 2012 at 11:22 pm

        We gave our dramatoddler a spoon, which totally distracted her, and shoved food into her mouth with another spoon while she was distracted… with no protest.

        • Laura January 3, 2012 at 1:49 am

          Yep, spoons. They are obsessed with the spoon for a few minutes, then don’t even notice they are eating because they are still distracted by the spoon awesomeness.

        • Sarah D January 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm

          We gave The Beast an ’empowerment spoon’ as soon as he was eating proper food. He was SO distracted by the impression that he was feeding himself that we could shovel anything and everything into him. It worked like a Lucky Charm.

      • Jell Jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown January 3, 2012 at 12:31 am

        I thought spoons were the best invention ever, until I met the fork. Then I hated both. EB went though a phase where she stopped eating healthy soups because she couldn’t fork it. So that was the end of the easy-meals and now we are into the realm of gold fish and blue corn chips. And veggie chicken nuggs (she won’t touch the “real” ones, whatever those are made of). I am in the same boat with a 20-mo old and have no real suggestions. Except patience for their ever-growing independence.

        • Jell Jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown January 3, 2012 at 12:35 am

          Oh, fruit! Any time fruit is offered, it’s eaten. That’s my fall-back before we head towards goldfish-ville. And peanut butter. But that won’t change the pickiness against a hot meal. Sorries.

  • Andrea January 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    I don’t have kids, so I don’t know what this is like, but I saw this idea on Pinterest and it seems helpful

    • Katie Cunnar January 2, 2012 at 9:21 pm

      My baby G who is just over 12 months is exactly the same. I love the ice cube tray idea; ahhh if only I had enough time in my day to frame the menu for my toddler…

      • Katie Cunnar January 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm

        Oh, and Chobani Champions saved us last week when he had a stomach bug and wouldn’t eat a thing…sometimes you can even sneak little stuff in there. And hummus is also a big helper. You can dip literally anything in there and he’ll schnarf it right up! Keep us posted!!!

    • Laura January 3, 2012 at 1:50 am

      My kid would chuck that whole ice cube tray on the floor in 1 second.

  • Krystyn January 2, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    All kids do this…promise. Just stick with what you were doing and feeding him. He’ll eat when he’s hungry. Around this age, there is just so much going on, they don’t want to eat. If you start giving him only the icky stuff you never thought you’d want him to eat, eventually, he will eat that and not the other stuff.

    As long as he’s peeing and pooping, he’s getting what he needs. Try not to stress and let him do his thing.

    And, the walking, he’s just waiting until he’s got it down perfectly. Then, one day, he’ll just up and walk and that will be it!

    • Valerie January 2, 2012 at 11:42 pm

      Totally relate. Mine is now two and has whittled her food range down to about three things. Well, maybe four. I have stopped putting all the effort into cooking for her – just offer eggs, a range of quick veggies, small bit of carbs, whatever protein she’ll eat and give her about five choices on her plate. She can eat, or not. She will still eat plain yoghurt so I give her some after dinner, especially if she hasn’t eaten much, to fill her up. I was super-stressy for about six months but now just figure she’s as chubs as ever and I’m the only one worrying here. And today she chewed through and entire stick of cucumber after being offered it (and knocking it back) about twenty billion times. And she eats steamed broccolli again. With ketchup. KETCHUP IS MAGIC. I was never goign to give my child ketchup…but it makes the dinner go down.

      • Valerie January 3, 2012 at 1:58 am

        …and to add…she didn’t walk until 19 months. Yes, 19 months. I feel SURE she could have done it at one, just didn’t feel like it, or picked up how much I wanted her to walk.

        And, I hate to say it, the eating may get worse before it gets better.

  • Krista January 2, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    My daughter has been a picky eater for the past 2 years of her life…and she’ll only be 3 in March. I was pretty concerned for awhile, but then I read that it’s better to look at their nutrition over the span of a couple weeks or the month. Don’t worry so much about what they are eating on a daily basis. They will go through phases where they only want to eat cheese or strawberries or graham crackers or whatever, but if they are getting a variety over time they’ll be fine. Some days they will eat like truckers and other days refuse everything. They won’t starve or suffer from malnutrition. One more thing not worth getting stressed about. They will eat when they’re hungry. Don’t get in the habit of catering to their every taste – they will learn your weakness and exploit it forever. They can refuse dinner and go to bed hungry. No biggie. One concern might be that he’ll start waking up in the middle of the night hungry, but in my experience that never happened.

    • Amy Z January 3, 2012 at 5:46 am

      I totally agree! I don’t have kids of my own, but I work at a daycare center in a room of 10 children that range in age from 12-24 months. 8/10 parents say their child is a picky eater and they don’t know how we get them to chow down like truckers at every meal…I would consider them all to be excellent eaters when at the center, mostly because they are served meals at 8, 11 and 2 (schedule set up by the USDA, not me, so don’t say I’m starving them)- no snacking in between, so they are usually hungry when the meal comes. Snacking and grazing are then enemy. Most parents at our center walk in at 7 with the kid holding a poptart and then offer them goldfish as soon as they leave the room at 4, then wonder why the kid won’t eat dinner at 5 when you let them graze like cattle. Same with milk/juice- if they sip on it all day then they’ll never be hungry, only offer water between meals.

      Also, we eat all meals “family style” and they love this- is a kid loves a spoon, then they love using a big serving spoon like 10,000x more. Seriously. We help them serve all the foods from serving dishes (hand over hand) and onto their plate. They go gaga. Once my future children can sit up in a chair they will be sitting in a booster at the table and eat with us like a member of the family, or we’ll use a smaller table for just mommy and me meals during the day. Meals are set out on the table, we all sing a song calling them to wash their hands and take a seat, and the kids EAT. Every once in a while, we get a hold out who is too busy playing to eat, so we leave their plate for them and they usually come to eat within 5-10 minutes once they’re ready. If you set up a small play table that G can access, and leave the food there, eventually he will find it and eat. We also teach them all simple sign language for words like more, please, thank you, help, all-done, etc, so even the non verbal ones can communicate when they want “more peas please”.

      Krista is right, look at their eating over the course of a week, not just each meal. Toddlers are surprisingly resilient and will not starve to death or become malnourished after a couple of days.

  • 05283565160717065207 January 2, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    FWIW, I have a December 1 yr old, too and I could’ve written this a week ago! For the past month, we have had to mix every.damn.bite of food with plain yogurt. The kid would eat anything as long as it looked like chunky yogurt…oatmeal, pears, asparagus, cold sesame noodles, chili.. whatever his little heart desired. Luckily, we seem to have gotten through it (but, damn! If I just jinxed myself, then I will never, Ever, EVER comment on your blog again)

  • april January 2, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Here’s the deal: kids will go through these annoying ass phases and you will stress out thinking they are going to starve to death. They won’t. My 23 month old has always been a good eater, but he does every now and then go through phases where he just won’t eat. He is not a fan of dinner and will almost never eat anything I make for myself (ie, a normal dinner meal). He will eat shit like microwaveable mac and cheese, processed cheese sticks, etc. I of course do not like him to have crappy processed foods, but they like what they like and if he eats something I am happy. What I do try to always do is give him little healthy snacks throughout the day, and if he doesn’t eat a meal I don’t feel too stressed about it. My guy loves vegetables and fruit, so even if he eats only a side meal I am happy with that. I promise, it will pass. Just try to give him healthier foods if he ends up eating some processed foods so that it will balance out. I am learning that kids only like to eat crap foods. If it isn’t a nugget or a fruit snack they want nothing to do with it! And trust me, I have friends who give their kids nothing but processed foods and shit all day long, so you really are doing the best you can! I’m sure he will soon go back to his good eating habits! Oh, and one awesome thing you can do is smoothies! Fruit smoothies made with yogurt and whole milk and there is also a smoothie with spinach in it…google “green smoothie” and you’ll find the recipe. It really is awesome and we do smoothies all the time! Hope that helps!

  • Jill Sentz January 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Mom of 2 here (ages 4 & 2)… Try letting go of rigid mealtimes right now & letting him graze. Keep small plates/bowls of relatively healthy stuff around the areas where he’s playing. That way, if the issue is distraction, he’ll eat when he sees/thinks of it. If the issue is sticking it to you & proving his ability to win at all costs, then he can choose to sneak bites when you’re not looking! There’s also another fantastic feeding book, hideously titled “Feeding Your Child with Love” that basically says (in a much wordier, fact-filled way) to put healthy, age-appropriate food in front of your kid and be DONE WITH IT. And she’s right. Take a deep breath, put the food out there & take yourself out of the fight!

  • DM's Mommy January 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    My son did, and to this day still does, gags on any veggies except for spinach (he thinks it’s seaweed). And my son is now 5! When you find out the secret let me know:) P/S: he likes dried squid, seaweed, and calamari. Go figure.

  • Christi January 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Definitely just try not to freak, but it is TOUGH. My first is a damn machine. At 3, he eats more at breakfast than I do, and he’s skinny. Ass. My second? Ha! He is dramababy to the max. He’s 11 months old, and he will literally look at you like “If Wolfgang Puck didn’t make it, I ain’t eating it.” I’ll give him food and he will close his mouth and poke his tongue out a few times to lick it, shake his head no, and throw it piece by piece in the floor. This is to CHEERIOS. Not even organic. Other foods that he approves of in between his visits to Spago he basically gums and then regurgitates back onto his bib. So I’m not sure that he’s ever actually digested a bite of food before. My kitchen floor and his high chair lead me to believe that he hasn’t. I can already feel the tension over it, but I have to remind myself that he isn’t anorexic and he hasn’t even had Kobe beef yet, so he’s not holding out for that. They are just stubborn little shits. Don’t give in and start giving him junk or he will be like my cousin’s kids (and husband for that matter) that only eat Baked Lays and chicken nuggets. And no, I’m not kidding (much).

  • lluvia January 2, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    My 2 year old does that. She will not eat. I leave the food where she can find it, and will eventually eat it. I got tired of begging her. She gets no juice until she’s done with her meal. If she doesn’t eat, she gets no juice.

    Mine scoot to the side like yours. She walked at 17 months! Doctor told me that as long as she was standing and sitting up, she was fine, but I wanted her to walk already since all the little ones her age, where already walking, but not her. No, I can’t stop her. :-)

  • corrinna January 2, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    My grandbaby went thru this phase too she is 2 yrs old and it sucks. She would go a day or two without eating hardly anything and then go thru a day of eating everything in sight..we too put down a snack plate and let her graze through out the day and this seems to help. Seems like after they have their first birthday they grow different taste buds and want to make our lives even more stressful….dr said oh she will eat when she is hungry so quit forcing her too…sometimes i even follow her around while she is playing with the food so she will eat. Toddlers have better things to do then eat…good luck and dont stress
    P.s. sorry to hear about the bread making machine in your pants curse them damn antibiotics.

  • Adelita January 2, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    My daughter is 9 months so I have yet to experience the horror that is refusing to eat, but my sister has a 7 and 4 yo and her advice to me was they will not starve. When they were wee ones and they refused to eat it, they left the table hungry. A few days of this and they caught on that Mom wasn’t going to cater to their requests. Now, they are great eaters (and have been since they were very little). They still try to test her, but she simply says they can leave the table if they don’t like what is offered to eat. I guess you can say this is the CIO for eating HA! So maybe it isn’t for the faint of heart.

  • Jessica January 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    At one we started dipping…ketchup, honey mustard, fruit dip, ranch, cream cheese – dip, dip, dip.
    At two the kid doesn’t eat.
    The war wages on…

  • Rebecca January 2, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    Going through the same thing! One trick that’s worked for us is to pour some baby food into a sippy cup then add milk and shake. Even if I get half a jar of puréed vegetables or fruit into him I feel like I’ve won the Olympics!!

  • Colleen January 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    We went through the same thing at about the same age. Here are a few things that helped. I refused to cook special food. Our dr was all “he won’t starve. He’ll eat when he’s hungry.” and I said awesome. So every meal I gave him what we were eating, plus some fruit because I could always count on him to eat fruit, and it’s at least healthy. I put his veggies in snack traps. Peas on his plate? Ha! He wouldn’t touch them. Peas as an afternoon snack in his snack trap? He eats every. single. one. And I started giving him a fork. Spoons are kind of hard, but he loves using the fork and stabbing his food. All of the above helped. Also. I started giving him those fruit and veggie purée pouches. He quickly figured out how to suck and squeeze them on his own and enjoyed doing it by himself. Plus my dr said to worry less about a well balanced meal and look at it in terms of a well balanced week. One meal he may only eat pasta, and one may be all broccoli. It balances out. Good luck!

  • KMW January 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I’m not to this point with my little one but my sis catered to my nephew’s picky palate and now she has a 4 year-old who will ONLY eat grilled cheese, French fries or canned alpha-ghetti. I’ll learn from her mistakes…

  • AsphaltQueen January 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    My 13 month old daughter LOVES the squeezable fruit/veggie combos. They come in small pouches that look kinda like a CapriSun with a spout. And they have organic ones. She sucks those things down like they’re going out of style. And also freeze dried yogurt puffs. She’ll take a handful of those and shove ’em in her mouth over and over and over.

    • Brandi January 3, 2012 at 1:20 am

      I LOVE these things. It seems to be the only thing mine will eat lately…except when he’s squeezing them all over the floor or dogs or himself…for the h3ll of it.

      • Christi January 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm

        This may be old news to you guys, but here in TN, we are usually behind the times, so pardon me if you already knew that Target know sells the pouches under the Up and Up brand! They are like $.85/pouch, which is the cheapest I’ve found. I don’t think they are organic, but they have good combos.

  • Katie E. January 3, 2012 at 1:09 am

    Let me be trendy and say, “Totes norms.” And now I will speak English. Babies super expand during their first year. During their second year they don’t grow as fast, so they don’t need to by the eating machines they were before. They also want to see if mommy’s head will spin around if they throw food around. Keep going with the good stuff, don’t cave to the crap. Because G won’t starve himself. A good trick is to cook your normal supper, and pull the high chair up to the table, give him his own spoon and napkin and cup, which will end up on the floor and distract him. When he gets tired of that he may be intrigued by what you guys are eating, and then you can put food on a plate for him to try. My kids love whatever I am eating, even when they normally wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. Good luck, breathe, know that he will not starve.

  • Brandi January 3, 2012 at 1:17 am

    I cannot get my toddler (17mo) to eat fruits or vegetable to save my life. He won’t eat cold stuff or slimy stuff or squishy stuff… He won’t eat anything bigger than a Cheerio although he’s more than capable… I think he’s gonna be nursing forever (gawd-I-hope-not) just so he has a nutritious diet. He used to eat EVERYTHING now he eats NOTHING.

  • Lexi January 3, 2012 at 1:47 am

    Don’t worry, as you said kids go through phases like this. He’ll eat when he’s hungry. Every child development class I’ve taken says kids will eat like horses and then will basically just stop one day. Obviously not stop…. That wouldn’t be very good.

    He wont starve. Promise.

    Love the blog, I think you are very funny.

    Team G,

  • Danielle January 3, 2012 at 3:12 am

    I don’t have any children yet but all the above about grazing and just letting them eat when they want to has worked for my cousins kids.

    However, I would seriously warn you against catering to his every wish. My boyfriends mother did this with her boys and now two of them (23 and 28) are the pickiest people I.have.ever.met. They will only eat pizza that is just dough with garlic seasoning and pepperoni, no sauce or cheese! They wont eat vegetables, refuse any dish with a sauce, generally anything that is healthy. They pretty much survive off of chicken fingers, fries and baloney sandwiches.

  • Ulrike January 3, 2012 at 3:39 am

    Same here. We had a fantastic eater and then he suddenly decided that food war boring. Main problem was that he refused to sit in his high chair. After much debate we decided to let him eat “on the fly”. We just put some food on a “baby buffet” and he could grab whatever he wanted. For several month he only had food he could carry around. But it worked out great and he is now sitting at the table again and eating with spoons an forks. I once read somewhere that you never should try to push the food issue since it will make them just more stubborn. Makes sense to me.

  • Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) January 3, 2012 at 6:33 am

    I can’t get my 5 year old to eat…so I’m of no use! He also used to eat everything at one time. Until he met other kids. I’m convinced they told him…

    • Elisa January 4, 2012 at 10:48 pm

      Teresa, in case no one told you, besides the one year old picky phase, there is the 5 year old picky phase also. Generally at this age they are going to some sort of school, or in any case interacting with other children, and it’s true, they do tell each other not to like things. At this age it’s not even a joke! They can talk and say vegetables are yucky, and suddenly your former broccoli loving preschooler hates broccoli. It’s sad but true.

  • Lauren January 3, 2012 at 7:05 am

    My son is 19 months and did the exact same thing. Oh and he didn’t start walking until 17 months. It will come and it will be awesome not to have to carry your baby everywhere…except you still have to. But the food thing. Make smoothies, with spinach. A big handful of spinach, a full banana and 1/2 to 1 cup of fruit, and milk or oj however much you want to make it the thickness he can drink. My son will drink this all day everyday. Fruit, veggie, and some of his milk for the day. If you want to make it even better for him add some wheat germ or oatmeal. Then he can eat goldfish for the rest of the day and you know he had one good thing.

    And everything everyone else said. Spoons, forks, blahblahblah.

  • Kristen January 3, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Hysterical. Reading this was exactly what I need to start my “first day back to work since Christmas” day. Love love love your blog!

  • Erin January 3, 2012 at 8:13 am

    We just went through this, literally. What was worse is daycare kept telling me what a good eater he was and then I’d take him home and he’d just take whatever I gave him and handed it straight to the dog. It went on for about a month, but we just kept putting stuff on his plate. Eventually he got back to the routine. Until that time we just gave him peas, food packets and yogurt. The only things he decided he liked. One day he was back to being a vacuum. Hella frustrating.

  • Julie January 3, 2012 at 8:23 am

    That illustration is a riot! Ranch dressing makes EVERYTHING taste better :)

  • Elizabeth January 3, 2012 at 8:44 am

    You hit the nail on the head with this one:
    “After your protest, they will think that you will starve so they will give you whatever you want.”

    My 15 month old was doing this all weekend and had me freaked out. She eats ANYTHING. Well, she did. One morning I offered her toast with cinnamon and butter, bananas, cheerios, a waffle with butter, a waffle with peanut butter, added some jam, then said F it and gave her some goldfish crackers which she didn’t touch. I offered her some yogurt (her fav!), then threw in some fruit – still DENIED. Veggie straws? hell no.

    The result was that she ate nothing but baby cheetos (gerber lil crunchies) all weekend. Who won here? Not me.

  • Taryn January 3, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Oh boy, the food issue…
    Here’s what worked for us: find something G likes and exploit it. For us it was yogurt, and for awhile Charlotte would eat anything if yogurt was mixed in.
    When that stopped working, we moved on to distraction. We distracted her with toy after toy while shoveling food in her mouth everytime it opened.
    Now, we’ve resorted to bribery. Luckily, Charlotte’s current drug of choice is blueberries. If she finishes her oatmeal, she gets a handful. No blueberries until all her chicken is gone. That kind of thing.
    Most important lesson I’ve learned: food issues come and go. This week, they’ll eat it all, next week they’ll eat nothing. And then back to eating again. The trick is learning to ride it out.
    Good luck!

  • Lara January 3, 2012 at 9:08 am

    My 11 month old also skipped crawling and scoots around. I think she is going to hold out on the walking. She won’t stand on her own either, unless she is distracted.

    My sons were not too bad as toddlers, but wouldn’t eat when they hit preschool age. I agree with ketchup, I still use that. I also do the whole put it down in front of them and they either eat and get dessert, or they don’t eat and don’t get dessert.

    I don’t think I’m looking forward to my LO being a picky eater at the end of the month.

  • Marjorie January 3, 2012 at 9:44 am

    My 16 month old is so back and forth between food hole and refuser of anything that isn’t animal crackers. She does, however, eat better for my husband and apparently it’s because he takes a bite in front of her so she thinks if daddy will eat it, it must be good? I don’t know, but it works. Sometimes. And sometimes we just give in and let her have the animal crackers. She also will usually go for those little pouches of baby food with princesses and big bird and cars on them. She won’t eat that very same shit off a spoon, but she’ll suck it out of a foil pouch. Whatever works.

  • Mrs. Plank January 3, 2012 at 10:12 am

    My 3 year old is STILL a bad eater. Never consistent. At her 2 year check-up her pedi told me not to be surprised if some days she only eats 2 bites, ALL DAY! I about died. But somehow she survived and moved up a whole new percentile at her 3 year check up. The only reason I don’t freak out about it is that I don’t want her to have food issues later on. So I just offer her healthy foods and if she doesn’t eat then I just try and ignore it.

    I will not lie though, I do use food as a way to let her stall bedtime. If I offer 10 more minutes until nap time if she eats her lunch and she will do it, then I let her. At least she is getting a little more food.

  • Cyn January 3, 2012 at 10:33 am

    I, like you, fought and fought the food wars b/c “my baby was going to starve”.

    Now that I’m older and wiser (?) I don’t fight the fight. I give my kid food. He has to eat X amount before he can leave the table. Granted, he’s almost 3, so logic works better at this age.

    What I learned is that particularly at the age of 1-2, kids have growth spurts and just aren’t as hungry sometimes as they are others. Caleb would go on a food strike for a week or two, then the next week, he’d hoover down everything I gave him. I stopped fighting and put 3-4 things on his plate that I was OK with him eating. He’d sometimes eat it all… and other times almost nothing.

    And yes if you give your kid french fries and all that bad stuff… they might love it and never eat another thing. Or, in the case of my toddler, he might rediscover all the healthy stuff later and love it. From about 18 mos to 2.5 years, my son wouldn’t touch fruit b/c he didn’t like the texture. We now love apples, grapes, blueberries, strawberries… and anything else sweet. I’m still working the veggies back in, but thats where the sneaky cooking comes in :)

  • Megs January 3, 2012 at 10:37 am

    My almost 15 month old is also being a food snob. One day he will snarf down an entire plate of lasagna, so I stupidly assume that I have found a food that he likes, and will eat happily. I give it to him the next day and he looks at me like I have 3 damn heads, then proceeds to push all of said food onto the floor and dog. All while giving me the side eye. We are also very familiar with the scraping of food off of the tongue. It’s nearly impossible not to laugh when he does this; the look on his face while he is doing this really is priceless.

    One thing I can count on him to eat is fruit. And I order those Happy Tot pouches from Amazon by the CASE. They are amazing, lots of nutrition, easy to eat, etc. Except when he squeezes the crap out of the thing, and squirts it all over the floor. Again with the side eye.

    Our rule is eat what you are served, or don’t eat. He doesn’t get to throw his dinner on the floor and expect me to give him something different. It sucks, and I worry that he isn’t eating enough all the time, but he’s still got his baby pot belly, so he clearly is doing just fine.

    • Christi Wampler January 3, 2012 at 4:16 pm

      How do babies know how to give side eye so early??? Your kid and mine sound like soul mates. They must never meet or the world would end.

  • Anne January 3, 2012 at 11:06 am

    My son is clearly called yours…sorry bout that. My only secret weapons: Dr. Praeger’s Spinach Littles (taste like mashed potatoes, look like chicken nuggets, filled with spinach) and Earth’s Best fortified waffles (packed with all kind of vitamins).

  • Whitney January 3, 2012 at 11:21 am

    I don’t have a child so I really am no help in that department, but I have had multiple yeast infections (something I’m not exactly proud of). Anyway, I’m sure you’re hating life because of it and have already tried every remedy out there, but I swear by taking acidophilus probiotics. You can buy it at Walgreens/Walmart/whatever they have up in your area. I take them every single day because I refuse to suffer from another yeast infection. For the love of God, do NOT buy Monistat. It is like napalm inside your body. Hope you start feeling better and the little man starts eating!

  • Drmommy January 3, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Stick to your guns…he’ll eat eventually, I promise. As a mother of a picky 3yo (who has been picky since birth) and a health care provider, I have yet to see a child starve to death from being picky. He’s just trying to manipulate you, no really he is, and if you let him you’re setting up a pattern that will continue for EVER. I’m not a short order cook, I barely have time to make one dinner so I’m damn well not making two, if he doesn’t like what I made that’s fine but I’m not making anything else….guess what, 9 times out of 10, he eventually eats what I made.

  • Amy January 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Haven’t read the other comments, so I am sorry if this is a repeat…BUT…the secret over here is roasting. That’s it, pure and simple. My kids will eat any vegetable that has been put in the oven at 425 for 15 -20 min. The vegetable must be tossed lightly in olive oil/kosher salt/pepper. Then spread out on a piece of foil on a pan. Then roasted within an inch of its life. And confession: I never wash the vegetable. I get a bunch of broccoli and asparagus and toss it in the stuff above, pop it in the oven, congratulate myself on my healthy kids. (while I sneak cookies.) I think washing the vegetable makes it lose some of its super roasting powers. Maybe I’m gross, I don’t know. (I do know. I’m gross.) But instead I’ll consider myself a hippie. Who has kids that love vegetables. Winning.

    • OurGrowingGarden January 3, 2012 at 2:27 pm

      I bet the high temp kills anything that was on it anyway…thanks for posting the tip!

  • Michelle January 3, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    I don’t think I’ve commented here before but I have to say you are hilarious and this is the best blog ever.

    Now that I’ve buttered you up… I have a 20 month old and have been dealing with this crap for the last 8 months. My son used to mainline broccoli and would eat literally anything we gave him. I never made baby food or had to give him anything other than little bits of what we were eating. Then he became a toddler.

    The only thing you can do, and believe me I’ve tried everything else, is just keep offering various healthy things over and over. This means they will eat the same thing A LOT. Hummous and peanut butter are keeping my son alive at this point, but at least it’s not McDonalds and ketchup on pasta or something :/ The hardest part for me is getting over the mental hurdle that he will not literally starve himself, although it feels like that will happen

    I had such lofty ideals and goals for feeding my kid. They’re all pretty much in the shitter now!

  • Hope January 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    My son turned 1 last month and is currently going through the same thing. He was a champion eater, but now refuses to be spoon fed anything but, if given something as a finger food instead, he will fling it as far as possible. The ONLY thing that works occasionally is if I make a huge production out of every bite, pretending to take a big bite out of it and making yummy noises then feed the bite to him instead. This will result in him eating 1/3rd of his meal. Although it takes eight million hours to finish a meal now.

  • Beth January 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Evelyn, our toddler, had the great food “sit out” as well, and to this day the only vegetable she eats agreeably is broccolli. We started buying the Earth’s Best and Tiny Tots pureed food in the squeezable suckable packages and she loves them. We just tell her it’s apple sauce and she sucks them all down whether there is apple in it or not. They are great to pop in your purse if you are out shopping with the kid and they are a great snack for the car too. Worked for us!

  • Tracy January 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Kids can be so obnoxious sometimes…. I can sympathize, my 6 year old only eats about 5 things and that changes on a daily basis. On a different note, I’m just happy she’s started sleeping all the way through the night… DAMN, I probably just jinxed myself. Carry on.

  • OurGrowingGarden January 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    G just turned one right? Yeah, we went through that two BIG TIME. Mine got down to the 10% because he was too stubborn to eat anything and had like 50 teeth coming in at once. He eats now. DO NOT FORCE FEED G. We did this to James and it made him hate all food for like 4 months. Does he eat finger foods? We just leave cut up pieces of stuff on the coffee table for James. He loves kabobs. I just line things up on a toothpick with the ends cut off (I know, but it’s the only way he’ll eat meat), and we did have to resort to pediasure to get some weight back on him. See if he likes the fruit pouches. He might be to young, but you could also try dipping in ranch. It was a hit for us at 16 months. He does eat mac n cheese on a regular basis now. I TRY to put things like carrots and peas in it but he just THWARTS it. Don’t make too big a deal out of it in front of him. He’ll know what you want him to do and do the exact opposite. One thing I do is say very exaggeratedly, “MMM, HERE’S A SNACK FOR DADDY!” and give James’ food to my husband and he starts eating it. James is like WTF? and gets jealous and voila, eats his food out of jealousy. So keep trying different things but don’t overdo it or he will go on a 4 month food strike.

    I just wrote this post with a shitton of breakfast ideas/toddler food schedule in the comments: a href= “”>Toddler Breakfast Menu and Schedule

  • OurGrowingGarden January 3, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    html fail. Toddler Breakfast Menu and Schedule hope that one works.

  • k January 3, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    I agree that smoothies are a good way to get fruit into them, and I also like to make a smoothie with tons of fruit (frozen, canned, fresh, whatever), plain yogurt, maybe some juice or milk, give a little in a cup and then freeze the rest into popsicles. This works well with my older son. No matter what, popsicles seem like a treat to him. Hooray.

  • Sarah D January 3, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    The Beast is 19 months old, and about 5 months ago he went on a food protest (akin to Greenpeace protesting whale hunting). I have to hide everything in either cheese, baked beans or ketchup. Then he’ll eat anything. Particularly baked beans . I put everything in them, even squash and fish (which he once loved). He will also eat anything that he can dip into ketchup. Judge not: ketchup is tomatoes. So, vegetables. Right?

    • Elisa January 4, 2012 at 10:57 pm

      Yes Sarah, once you are a mom, ketchup counts as a vegetable.

  • Erin January 3, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    Trader Joes. All that shit is good.

  • Sara January 3, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Oy! We are dealing with the same thing right now. Someone gave us advice that we are just starting to implement: get one of those high chairs that allows that baby to sit at the table with you (as opposed to one with its own tray). Put together a platter of various finger foods that you can both eat at the same time. Start eating from the platter. Don’t force the baby to eat or make any sort of production about the meal. Inevitably baby will follow and eat with you.

    Prior to receiving this advice, I would play music during mealtime, give the babe a toy (even an empty container with lid) to play with, and feed him while he was distracted. I just find that he eats better when distracted. Somehow taking him out of the house and feeding him works better than feeding him at home too. The playground feed worked wonders. Too bad it’s getting cold out :(

  • Caroline January 3, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    This post made me laugh out loud. I have a 3 month old baby boy whom I am nursing as I read this. He was screaming and fussy a few minutes ago, because he is ready to go to bed. He hears me laughing and looks at me and just starts giggling like crazy. I think he is already on to it and knows about what the others babies are doing! I’m scared for the future.

  • Lisa January 3, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    I have a three year old, and I know the battles you face.

    Kids will learn to like what you give them. If you want your kid to like chicken nuggets, goldfish, and ketchup, feed them that. If you want your kid to like vegetables, fresh fruit, and tacos feed them that (ok, maybe break up the shells into smaller pieces for a young-un.)

    Too often, parents give in when their kids won’t eat what’s served to them. They offer whatever snack food and toddler food (ie: often junk!) just so that their poor “starving” baby eats something. This is how the babes trick us. The truth is, if they are hungry enough, they will eat. Even broccoli.

    I figure, kids in Japan eat seaweed (my guy loves it, too!). Kids in Ethiopia eat peppers so hot they’d make me vomit. Kids in England eat gruel (ok, that might not be true anymore.) They eat what they learn to enjoy. Feed your babe what you are eating, perhaps simplified versions of it. Don’t get into the habit of “sneaking” veggies, unless you want to have to keep that up for years to come. If he doesn’t eat what’s on his plate, chances are he’ll be hungry for the next meal or snack and possibly try a few bites of that. I hardly have time to fix one menu for dinner, let alone two. My kid has learned that, and will usually eat what’s on his plate.

    I don’t think there has been a toddler that has voluntarily starved himself to death.

    This approach pays off in multiple ways. First, less cooking and cleanup for you. Second, fewer battles at the table over what options there are for a meal. Third, you will eventually have an easy eater. My little now eats just about everything (except for raisins, for whatever reason). The early troubles of sticking to my guns on this issue has paid itself off a hundred times.

    • Anna January 5, 2012 at 5:23 pm

      “Kids in England eat gruel”

      Nearly wet myself laughing!!!!

  • Anna January 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    Was just reading an information filled post on this over on another blog…

    Sorry, can’t add much of my own advice except that I’ve never stressed about how much my daughter will or won’t eat, it’s always evened out in the end. She knows she can ask (even from a young age – just headbutting my boobs or the fridge door) for food if she is hungry so we just leave her alone if she doesn’t eat much at mealtimes. She did stop eating a lot of foods about the age of 1, avocado comes to mind as one of the biggies, but then picked up a whole heap of new ones soon after that she hated when she was a baby.

  • L. Liz January 3, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    Ranch dressing. On everything. Let him dip. Apart from that epiphany, we had a breakthrough when we actually sat down to eat together at the same time so it was social instead of trying to get her to do something. Also try, try, try again. Our girl gagged the first 28 times we let her taste peanut butter. Now, potty training involves peanut butter spoon bribes.

  • Katie R-G January 4, 2012 at 8:38 am

    Tea Tree Oil on a q-tip for the vaj. Just sayin’. Miracle and hella pain in one little bottle.

    The 14 month old just decided that staring me in the eyes and spitting her food out, then swiping said spit out food onto the floor is her new fave activity. I learned by going thru this with my now 8 year old, it’ll pass. The kids just get what I cook, and I offer healthy snacks all day long. Some days she eats them, others she doesn’t.

  • Windycitykelleys January 4, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Don’t worry, E didn’t start walking until 15 months. I was so nervous but now I’d give anything for him to sit still for five minutes!

    Also, all kids go through this when eating. Just keep offering it and soon he’ll take it. He could be getting some teeth too that you can’t see.

  • Staci January 4, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    I went to college to better understand the species they call babies/children. Then I went to grad school to gain a little more knowledge and I spewed said knowledge so matter of factly (cocky) to all my clients and then 10 years later I had my own kid and God gave me a swift kick to the ovaries and said “HA HA.”
    Long story short(er), my almost 2 year old quit eating at about 12-13 months as well. Have you tried the frozen trick? That bought us a couple more months. Frozen peas and corn straight out of the freezer was the only way we could get veggies down the hatch. After that I started cooking more elaborate meals, sometimes she would eat and sometimes she wouldn’t. It sucks ass wasting food but I just keep offering her what we have and if she eats it she eats it, if not, oh well. I know she won’t starve but most importantly when I refer back to all that knowledge that must have escaped my vagina during birth, I remembered a toddlers nutritional/caloric needs greatly reduce after the first year and instead of looking at how much your kid eats in one day, look at what they eat in the week. For example one day they will only eat toast and then the next day only pears and on a third day cheese…..that way they are rounding out their diet over the course of the week and not in a day.
    Juice plus makes some bad ass kid’s vitamins in the meantime….. good luck! :)

  • sarah January 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    our little dude is almost 2, and has been pulling stuff like this for a little while now. it drives me NUTS. if he doesn’t want something he has this horrible habit of just pushing his hands around on his food tray, which in turn pushes all of the food on it onto the floor. he’ll also sometimes pick up a piece of food, look me in the eye, and drop it on the floor. turd. a few things that have worked for us (occasionally–nothing will work every time) is to serve him food on a grown-up plate with grown-up utensils. this is for older toddlers, obviously, but we give him food on a small salad plate with a salad fork (since they’re slightly smaller than normal forks). he likes eating like mom and dad, apparently. along these lines, we also stopped cutting everything up into tiny pieces since we noticed that he would eat things if they looked more like what we were eating. we serve him what we eat usually, and one day when he was pushing everything away but pointing at our plates i got so sick of it that i handed him a whole chicken breast and said ‘is this what you want? here, let’s see what you can do with this!’ he proceeded to pick it up in both of his hands and take bites out of it until he’d had his fill. so now we like to give him things that he can take bites of himself, but we also watch him carefully and don’t compromise on things that are easy to choke on (i.e. hotdogs–that shit has to be cut up like crazy). i’ll second what someone else said, too, in that they will eat when they’re hungry. sometimes i just give up, and it turns out he wasn’t that hungry since he’s not unhappy at all to go without that particular meal.

  • Christine F. January 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Damn kids and their phases. I know it can be super frustrating, but this too shall pass. I have 2 big kids (5 & 8 yr old girls) but still remember the pissy food battle days. I’m no short order cook and I have always refused to prepare different food for my kids, they got whatever healthy meal I had prepared for breakfast/lunch or dinner. Just try to be patient and keep offering him healthy well balanced meals @ meal time. He will eat it or he won’t, but you know what, he won’t starve. Toddlers actually require very little portion wise. Someone told me once to keep in mind a toddlers food intake over the span of the whole week instead of obsessing about what they have consumed each day. That really helped me. Also try to sit down together as a family and eat as much as you can. I took the tray off of our highchair and lowered the seat so the kiddos could be pulled right up to the table and eat with the rest of us. That way they can be a part of things and see how they are “supposed” to behave at the table… which they will learn eventually. Good luck!

  • ginger January 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    thought about you this morning as my 11 month old threw all of her french toast (that dada lovingly prepared) on the floor and grinned. we let her down, picked up all the toast off the floor so she couldn’t choose to eat it on that level, and decided she’ll eat when she gets hungry enough.
    sidenote- my husband is a sahd and gave her MCDONALDS chicken nuggets yesterday (blah!) – of course she didn’t want something relatively healthy like homemade french toast on double fiber whole wheat bread w/minimal maple syrup after that…. but I’ll let him figure that out on his own :-)

  • Alex P. January 4, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Like everyone else is saying, don’t freak over the walking thing – I didn’t walk till I was nearly 2; Boychik took a few steps at 16 months, then got up and walked EVERYWHERE when he was 18 months old.

    With the food… That’s a toughie. Out of the three kender-beasties, Boychik’s the only one that refuses to eat veggies except for broccoli (he calls them baby trees) What I end up doing is pureeing different veggies and adding them to ground beef, pizza sauce and spaghetti sauce. Ranch dressing is a great thing for that kid that will eat it, as well as ketchup.

    Remember that everything tastes better with either cheese or chocolate on it for some reason. If you really get freaked out, try him with some of that pedia-sure stuff (or ask the pediatrician – they’re used to new Momma’s. There’s always your own mom or your MIL; they usually know stuff, too). From what I understand, it’s specifically for picky eaters.

  • Brittany January 4, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    I’ve got a 5 and a 2 year old. My two year old is at the tail-end of the same phase, I feel your pain. You will undoubtably make up your own mind on this issue, but here’s my two cents.
    We don’t allow ketchup, ranch or any condiments on anything unless it’s salad, or hot dogs (things that dips were made for) because my cousin was one of those kids that put ketchup on EVERYTHING, including thanksgiving dinner and I am not a fan. My kids eat what I cook, how I cook it or they can leave the table. Yes, even the two year old. They will get hungry sooner or later, and they WILL eat. In the beginning, my daughter would scamper away from the table, but she’d always return once she realized it was that or nothing. Otherwise, she would be ravenous in the morning, and I took my chance to shovel in as many fruits and whole grains as I could.
    Now that we’ve implemented this plan, she eats what I put in front of her, for the most part.

  • Karri B January 6, 2012 at 12:08 am

    MODG I love the way you keep it real..this cracks my shit up!!! lmao!

  • Jill L-G January 9, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    So I couldn’t bring myself to read all the comments and I don’t know if anyone else suggested this already, but I have been going through the same thing with my 13 month-old twins. Our saving graces have been:

    – peanut butter
    – apple sauce
    – avocados
    – canned pumpkin pureé
    – yogurt
    – bread

    H and J went from happily eating every veg I could throw at them to cryhole fits just like G. Fortunately, they LOVE peanut butter sandwiches. So at the peak of this pickiness, we were having peanut butter and —- sandwiches for lunch every day. Peanut butter, avocado, and banana was a winner, as was peanut butter, pumpkin pureé, and a bit of cinnamon sugar. The pumpkin pureé also went into their whole milk yogurt, and even into their oatmeal (I also tried roasted squashes and sweet potatoes, but they were gaggers too).

    I also trick them by coating every bite of anything with apple sauce or yogurt, if need be (which still only works like 30% of the time, if that).

    Babies are RUDE.

  • Ann January 11, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Here’s how we got my daughter to be an awesome eater …we shoved the food in her mouth. Seriously – we have had a rule since C was 6 months old that she has to try 1 bite of everything. Now, she has always thrown a fit over this rule, screams that she doesn’t want to eat it (whatever it is), thrashes, clamps her mouth shut, etc. but I literally restrain her if necessary and put a small bit in the back of her cheek, and 9.9 times out of 10 she asks for more. I do it in restaurants too and can’t believe I have not had children’s services called on me, but every damn time, no matter how hard she fights it and goes apeshit…she ends up liking it! Everyone who had been giving me side eye and being all judgy ends up being totally amazed (and jealous if they have kids) that she ends up eating the entire serving once she is forced to taste it.

    Once she got the idea that she had to try one bite of everything at every meal it got easier. Now she takes one bite of everything and really tastes it to decide if she wants more. She eats edamame, feta cheese, beef stew, chili, tacos, all fruits and veggies, it’s a dream. But we had to put in some tough love initially.

    Now that she is older we read Green Eggs and Ham and she thinks it is funny how Sam-I-Am finally tries the green eggs and ham and likes it. So whenever she pulls her “I’m not trying that” shit now we just have to call her Sam-I-Am and she does it. It is basically a total non-issue now.

    Anyway, my kid turns down dessert for more peas, so I must be doing something right. And I have only ever given her plain, lowfat yogurt, unsweetened applesauce, no juice, and she is 3! Just shove it in their mouth at any cost and make them actually taste 1 bite before deciding they don’t like it. Oh, and make them taste it every time you serve it – just 1 bite.

  • Figgs January 13, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    I have four boys who all went through the same phase. It feels like it lasts much longer than it actually does. In the meantime, Cheerios. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. And they all remained perfectly healthy. Hang in there!

  • Julia February 8, 2012 at 12:09 am

    I could not have said this better myself!
    My son will be thirteen month in just a little over a week and feeding him is RIDICULOUS!
    Also, I cracked up at the baby monologue and picture!