1st birthday parties and parties in general make me pee out of my butt. Sorry for that.

 

Winter babies are blessings in that they are babies. They are curses in the indoor celebrations of their birth FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. Well at least until they want to go to a hockey game or something without me.

We celebrated G’s first birthday this past Sunday. And it was awesome. And what made it so awesome was that I vowed to all that is good and winter that I will do nothing for this party and just get other people to do it for me. You all know I’m an overthetop maniac when it comes to party planning and other time wasters. But before every damn party I pee out of my butt from stress. Then I have to clean up my whole house for days and also clean up the butt pee. No one wins. And so G’s party began with the vow to not have it in my house and it only grew from there.

Before you get all psycho voyeur on me, this is not the birthday picture post. This is the -Complain because even though I had everyone do everything for me and I wasn’t even THAT stressed, I still PUKED the night before and am still peeing out of my butt- post. But to be fair to the party gods, I think I have a bug, or an amoeba or something. My friend had an ameoba in Abu Dhabi and she said it was like evil was trying to escape out of her holes. That’s what I have. Hole evil.

But I digress. The party. We had 20 babies and 40 humans. Or adults. Whatever. It was not at my house. I did not realize the stress of having a large gaggle of folks staring at you and your baby for 3 hours. Do you even know that pressure? Like you get the cool place and the cool food and the cool music guy and every time your baby loses his shit, you feel like, OH SHIT. Because you know that your 1 year old doesn’t know his own diaper poop from his first birthday party and definitely does not care about the fruit mohawk or the blow up guitars or the super fancy music man who came to entertain the babies. But YOU care. Because you want it to be awesome and you are mildly psychotic in a million mild ways. And you is me, or I. I got carried away with that “you talk”.

So yeah, G lost his shit with all the people and the sounds and the stuff. And as SOON as we walked out of there and put him in his car seat, he giggles and smiles and laughs like THIS IS WHAT I WANTED THE WHOLE TIME. A CAR SEAT PARTY. So yeah, I mean who are we really kidding, we all know that these tiny baby parties are for us, the grown ups. But like I said into the microphone with a bucket of sobs and tears like a mental patient:

Me: sobsobsob sniff sniff I I I just want to say sobsobsob that B and I feel like this isn’t just a 1st birthday party. But it’s also a celebration that we made it through our first year with G. SOBSOBSOB (it’s getting ugly now). And that we couldn’t have done it without all of you. Because it was the most challenging year of our lives.

And thank you britney that that was not on video.

So that’s why it’s ok to throw a giant bash for your 1 year old who would rather have a damn car seat party. WE NEEDED IT. And so does every new parent. I also need some matchstick cords from J.Crew. AND SO DOES EVERY NEW PARENT. (was that believable? That was totally for B to read and hopefully he just stopped there)

Nope, I wasn’t kidding.

I promise to do a full party recap when the real pics come in. And I will say it now and again and again. I DID NONE OF IT. And I will give credit to the amazing people who actually did do stuff.

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POSTED IN: babies,Dramababy,Mom Stuff

{ 97 comments }

Bitchin Sisters December 6, 2011 at 10:46 am

I’m so sad that I wasn’t invited. Is that weird? Yes. Yes, it is. Holy awesome picture of G.

http://bitchinsisters.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/its-christmas-bitches/

Stef December 6, 2011 at 10:47 am

I love the pictures – you have an amazing photographer. First birthday parties are for parents and I mean that in a good way. For my son’s 1st birthday I basically I showed off to everyone like “look, look, look he still has ALL HIS PARTS!” Can’t wait to see/read about the party details.

Shannon December 6, 2011 at 10:54 am

Just seeing the teaser of his party makes me want kill myself before this coming Saturday’s homemade-everything sesame street party for my own soon-to-be-one-I-hate-that-she-was-born-in-December-baby. seriously, she deserves a better mother, or at least a posh party planner (I thought I was doing so well not using any thing from Party City, or pre-fab…turns out I am a serious amatuer) Kudos — looks like it rocked. Can’t wait to see the picture post. Happy Birthday G!

koreen(aka:winn) December 6, 2011 at 11:04 am

Did the same at my son’s 1st birthday. Tons of kids and adults, and he cried almost the whole time… except when “he” opened the prezzies. That’s the whole reason the kid is there to begin with, right?

rae December 6, 2011 at 11:23 am

this looks awesome. my only prob: once again, you seems to be blowing cash like it’s going out of style, yet say youare on a tight budget. we get it, you are well of and that’s cool. just own it.

MODG December 6, 2011 at 12:02 pm

you couldn’t be more off rae.

the beauty of having a mildly popular blog is that people do stuff for publicity instead of money.

i’m not sure why everyone is so concerned with my cash flow.

melissa December 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Maybe I’m on a budget that allows j. crew matchstick cords, maybe I’m not. A budget doesn’t mean you have no money, it means you have to plan out what to do with your dollars so you don’t end up with no money but a lot of past-due bills. And I take a “tight budget” to mean all the dollars are spliced out in categories without any leeway for impulse purchases, not that there are never any fun categories. And I don’t personally care what anyone else’s budget is like and they should keep their noses out of mine as well.

Jasmine December 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm

What the heck! Its no ones business what you spend (other than B). I think that its pretty darn cool that I found your blog randomly almost 2 years ago and thought it super funny and now you are getting recognized for it and benefitting from it. I think a lot of us would be sad if you quit posting. I like your blog for your writing style and for your ability to turn even the most mundane things into something hysterical.

The fact that you get perks from people and or companies is icing on the cake because it will keep you writing . Haters will always find something to hate about.

Jess December 7, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I know I’m way richer than you (smiley face) and I still tell people I can’t afford things all the time. I won’t pay 44 cents to mail something when I can pay it online yet I go buy 16 dollar bottles of wine- every.single.day. (and drink them alone) People can go fuck themselves. I personally applaud people who openly discuss finances because every person is going through something similar. Please continue to buy stuff and tell me about it so I feel better about the ten boxes I get from Amazon each day (no shit, ask my husband).

Britney December 6, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Being on a tight budget doesn’t mean you don’t ever get to spend money. It means you budget for the things you want. And it’s not any of our business how she payed for the party.

Lindsey December 6, 2011 at 9:20 pm

DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK. I am so sick of people finding some sort of way to get on a damn soapbox about something. It’s fun here. Be fucking cool or leave.

AmyFaith December 7, 2011 at 9:30 am

I love the last sentence the most.

Katie E. December 7, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I think rae just didn’t have a Southern mama to drum into her head the old saying, “if you can’t say something nice, keep your mouth shut, because someone else will be wittier and make you look like an idiot.” Bless her heart, not being Southern can be such a handicap.

Desiree December 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

So true Katie darling, so true.

LeslieB December 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Amen. Preach it. Although I seem to remember the lesson being “if you cant say something nice then keep your mouth shut or I will whup your ass”. Which is basically the same.

Miss Andi December 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm

What she said. :)

Melissa December 8, 2011 at 10:13 am

Bahahahahaha! LOVE. IT.

julie s. December 7, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Agreed.

meansister777 December 8, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Why do we care how much she did/did not spend? I agree, it’s fun. Enjoy or get the fuck out!

Meg December 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm

HILAR! “Be fucking cool or leave.” Best line ever. Thank you, Lindsey. Yes, please leave, Rae. This partay is for the fun people. Deal.

Morgan December 6, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Speaking of “owning” something …. If you can read this blog, see that amazingly adorable photo of a 1 year old birthday boy and still find something to complain about… MODG’s budget is *not* your only problem. Chill out and enjoy.

Oh and MODG, don’t stress, clearly she doesn’t understand what it means to be part of the DTDHC. There’s no judgment in this club, any good member knows that. Happy birthday to G, and congrats to you and B for surviving year 1!

Katie R-G (That's right, I hyphenate, bitches! December 7, 2011 at 7:14 am

Um, what’s the “DTDHC”??? I feel a little too uncool knowing there’s a club and shit and I didn’t know. I wanna play!!!

AmyFaith December 7, 2011 at 9:30 am

Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club.

Diane December 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Wow, the saying is true. Miserable people want everyone else to be as unsuccessful as you are. This was such a pathetic comment from what appears to be someone who is drowning in her own failure. I’d love to see you start a thread where dozens of people are getting help this Christmas for their families.

In sthort? You are gross.

melissa December 6, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Loft’s cords are pretty nice. They are only $20 cheaper than J. Crew, but they have 25-40% off sales all the freakin’ time and J. Crew doesn’t seem to believe in sales. Only clearance racks full of size 00 and size 12.
http://www.loft.com/loft/product/LOFT-Apparel/LOFT-Pants/Modern-Slim-Leg-Corduroy-Pants/262888?colorExplode=true&skuId=10036020&catid=catl000014&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=4376

Lori December 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Where can I find that walker thing your son is using in the pic???!!!

Lacey December 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Whitney W December 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I cannot wait to read about the party and see the pictures. I love this blog more than anything because you tell it how it is.

kristin December 8, 2011 at 1:20 pm

me too!!!!

Lacey December 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Sorry about the ass piss! That is super lame.

I love love love that picture of G. You best frame that shit, because it is adorbs. He is the punk hipster version of the little old man from up…

See? http://pinterest.com/pin/46654546109369761/

Malea December 6, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Glad I wasn’t the only one with anxiety planning a first birthday party this last weekend. After my husband convinced me to make all of the cupcakes, I was wishing he’d have to pee out of his butt. Thank God they were good. My daughter wasn’t really feelin’ the party either. She cheered up when they went home. Go figure.

Domesticated Gal December 6, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Thank you for explaining this to me. I just wish I had realized this Before my kid’s first birthday party happened. Last year. In our house. With must my in-laws.

Dominique December 6, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who sometimes pees out of my butt when presented with stressful/people staring at me situations! You just have to carry some adult moist asswipes and suck it up. Unrelated to ass-pee, that pic of G is precious!

teresa December 6, 2011 at 2:27 pm

peoples…blogging puts your life out there. it kinda makes your life everyone’s business. your life is your business that you are sharing with all the world to see. rae made an observation and expressed it. that’s what happens when you put your life on display on display on display. and that is exactly why i quick blogging. just a choice i made.
but my real comment is after baby #1 i quit volunteering to have parties for kids who don’t know better. relax while you still can. one day he’ll be begging for a party and want to invite his entire class plus his hockey team. i know it’s too late for you, modg, this is just for those considering it. if you want a party for you, wait til march.

MODG December 6, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I get what you and rae are saying teresa, I really do. I mean my whole schtick is saying it like it is. So if I’m all “waah no money” and buy a lot of shit, I get the confusion.
However, we’re all pretty smart ladies around this piece and everyone knows that money is subjective. Do I live in a trailer? No. A trailer lady would say I was a baller. Do I live in the Kardashian compound? No. They would say I was a trailer ho. So this is a dumb thing to ask me.
Speaking of dumb stuff, I would also never ever in my life tell a friend to “own” the fact that they are well off. So I get pissy when people say stuff on the interbitch that they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. And finallllly,
I do have to disagree that just because I blog and put my life on display (points for the RHONJ ref), that I have to share everything with everyone. whether you realize it or not, I have boundaries for what I talk about here. vaginas yes, other private stuff no. Vaginas aren’t private, duh.

Hilary McConville December 6, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I think this is classic “Theresa.” We all know MODG is just a housewife whose husband just wants to build her a recording studio in the basement. This can truly only be settled with a table flip and a pignole cookie bake off. I get though why Theresa needed to stop blogging. She could feel the weight of the world pushing down on her. She could feel every one’s eyes watching her.
She could feel the heat of the spotlight shine and could feel the pressure on her body.
It got her feeling all these feelings and it drove her insane… Paparazzi watching her do her thing.
Seriously, she was on display.

Katie R-G (That's right, I hyphenate, bitches! December 7, 2011 at 7:21 am

best reply EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw. Monday can’t buy you class. Just sayin’.

Katie R-G (That's right, I hyphenate, bitches! December 7, 2011 at 7:27 am

MONEY, not Monday. Bleck. Bite me, I have re-re brain.

Ryan December 7, 2011 at 9:47 am

This is part of the weird zone with blogging. As you talk about your life, people begin to feel like they know you or that you’re friends in real life. Once they develop that comfort level, they think it’s no big deal to talk about anything or to pass judgement on decisions you make. When, in reality, it just makes them an asshat.

I think that it gets difficult to draw boundaries at times but it’s necessary. You don’t have to discuss your finances with anyone except your husband and the IRS. Screw everyone else.

Ryan December 7, 2011 at 9:49 am

BTW…since you’re big ballin’….can I borrow $20? ;)

Diane December 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Bullshit. The internet is no excuse for bad manners. Stop making excuses for people who are rude and clearly miserable.

Jennifer December 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm

You should have written a “How do I make sure the 1st birthday party isn’t a big pile of poo” post! I’m sure all the MODG-lovers out here on the internets would have inundated you with advice.

For example: I’m told that for two weeks before my first birthday, my mother would spontaneous start yell-singing “Happy Birthday” at me so it wouldn’t be as scary at the party. She wanted pictures of a happy-smiling baby, not a sad-crying one.

For what it’s worth, G looks like he’s having a ball in the first picture, so it couldn’t have been that bad!

Kait December 6, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Your mom is either totally brilliant or the reason you curl in to the fetal position when people sing Happy Birthday. Either way, it was worth a shot!

Erin December 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

OMG that is hilarious! I need to start doing that to my daughter now!

Ariadna December 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm

OMG! Totally love that picture of G!! I want to steal it, print it and frame it!!!! Is that too much? Sorry, your baby is adorable! I’m anxiously waiting for your next post so that I can take notes and pin stuff for my not-so-in-the-near-future baby…

Erin @ Domestic Adventure December 6, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I saw that fruit mohawk picture onthe Bottlepop Facebook page and I am so excited that Shannon helped you with the party. That girl rocks! Can’t wait to see more…

Christine December 6, 2011 at 5:21 pm

You know what? When I read this post the first thing I thought was that the picture of G is one of the sweetest, most precious 1st birthday pics I’ve ever seen. The 2nd thing I thought was that I totally relate to the whole 1st birthday nerves and wanting everything to be perfect for you and your family. I never ONCE thought about your financial situation or how much $$ you spent on the party. Some people are just negative and everything they say or do revolves around what others have that they don’t. Keep on writing. You make me laugh with every post!! You make this Christian, southern republican who keeps all my thoughts to myself b/c of “proper southern manners” smile, because I usually am thinking exactly what you are. :-) By the way, I don’t comment often but have been wanting to tell you the most random thing. You will probably think I’m crazy, but have you ever seen the woman on Disney that dances and sings “All aboard the choo, choo train, all aboard toot toot? She wears a little conductor outfit and a high pony tail? Anyway, I think she looks JUST like you! That’s a compliment b/c she has a perfect body and is very pretty. Random, I know, but look it up on youtube if you haven’t seen it.

melissa December 6, 2011 at 8:40 pm

exactly! I didn’t read this post and wonder how much money the damn party cost. I thought, OMG, cutest baby ever! Look at him go!

Alexandria December 6, 2011 at 5:25 pm

WOW MODG you are totally not only peeing out of your butt but puking money! Sheesh you rich bitch ;-)

I can’t wait to get the party recap because the teaser pictures looks awesome.

jen December 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm

o great, now she probably won’t post the amazing pics because everyonesanasshole.

happy birthday to your little mr. he is SURE cute.

Danielle December 7, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Haha, that’s exactly what I thought too! MODG – PLEASE still post pics!

demi December 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Fabulous. I’m not the only one who gets butt pee before my kids birthday parties! It never fails. At my kids 6th birthday party we spent A LOT cash dollar dollar and it was ridiculously stressful but awesome. Do what YOU want. Am I rich, Hell no! I just worked my budget around that shiz. And probably overspent a bit. Oh well. Who gives a shit. IT’S YOUR FAMILY.

Lluvia December 6, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Ooohh…! I can’t wait for the party pics!!

meredith December 6, 2011 at 6:46 pm

I’m sorry that the attention gets taken off what is cool & fun about your blog with mundane comments like Rae’s.

I had an awesome birthday party for my 1 year old (june bday – so a ton easier) and I spent DAYS and WEEKS crafting, planning, and other forms of bullshit to create this fabulousity. And I also got a snide comment from someone that thought someone in “my situation” shouldn’t have gone to all this expense. There’s always gonna be a hater. My real friends (in your case, fans) know that I/we really love my kid and went out of my way to make her party special – for her. So fuck the haters, ignore their comments, I ignore my frenemies and keep being awesome.

ZDub December 6, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Here we fucking go again.

Pro tip: If this here blog makes you JEALOUS, PEE OUT OF YOUR BUTT WITH JEALOUSY, WANT TO KICK AN ASIAN DUE TO SAID JEALOUSY, there is a tiny X at the top of the page.

Click on it.

And go away forever.

P.S. Imma gonna need to the link to those matchstick cords. Jeff just issued me my housewife allowance for the week.

P.P.S. Don’t act like a JEALOUS HOBAG on a FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY POST, it’s just tacky.

Thereset December 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I <3 MODG and zdub!

CDub December 7, 2011 at 3:21 am

Modg I like… but ZDub, you’re nauseating.

MODG December 7, 2011 at 7:55 am

there will be no speaking ill of the dub in this place.

sarah December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Watch your step, CDub.

D December 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

How could anyone NOT love ZDub? I just found her blog a few weeks ago, and now I’m obsessed…yes, Modg, I know you’ve been talking about her awesomeness for an eternity, I’m just a little slow on the up-take. :)

Kate December 8, 2011 at 8:39 am

Yes! Same here, and lovelovelove! A good workday is when ZDub, MODG, and MFAMB all have updated blog posts :) I am such a good employee.

MODG, great job on the party! You are so smart. My birthday is December 13th and my mom always threw Martha Stewart-esque parties, made the enormous Strawberry Shortcake (not the flavor, the character) and had days of prep and then clean-up ALL AROUND THE HOLIDAYS. Sucko!

demi December 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Zdub-EXACTLY!!! Word!!!!

Mindy Clarke December 7, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Love this reply ZDUB! Both you bloggy bitches are amazing! I love and look forward to reading your shit everyday! Rae – you need to get gone, and stay gone – only loves up in here! Plus, she didn’t ask for your opinion. And the other one that disapproves of a bday party – SHUT IT! It’s called a first b-day party for a reason – you feed it cake and take pictures! It’s a right of passage, if you don’t want to play – that’s fine.. but don’t judge others!

Meghan December 6, 2011 at 7:16 pm

I’m fighting my death of cold here so, chances are, in a couple days I’m going to look at this comment and it’s just going to be a series of “asoduihsdfhjgmndsfgujygsl” that I think right now makes PERFECT sense, but here goes.

Basically, what everyone else says. Haters gon’ hate. But specifically, dollars are subjective. A lot of money to some may be pennies to someone else. Obviously, if you had a choice between G’s 1st birthday party and paying the bills to keep him safe and warm, I’m pretty sure we ALL know what you would pick. Secondly, to the Missy Miss who thinks it’s ok for people to know how much MODG (or B, for that matter) makes because she has a blog (Self-entitled much? You don’t know her, you ain’t B, so um, NO YOU DON’T), lets all remember that Amanda is writing a book. So I’m pretty sure people will help her out because she is going to be published and her thoughts/opinions matter. A LOT. I’m pretty sure you will NOT be published because you “quick” your blog. That brings me to my next (and mercifully, final) point: Proofread.

And now I’m done. And seriously. I’m so freaking sick. Like as sick as I was when I got bronchitis while pregnant and couldn’t medicate myself because I was an incubator. Ok, maybe not that sick. But I have a head cold and I’m a baby, so feel sorry for me, PLEASE!!!

As always, Rock On with your socks on. Xo

Desiree December 6, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Dudes. Everbody just be cool. My proper Southern manners stopped me from commenting over here, and a few posts/comments made me want to stop reading but like the best/worst reality show, I can’t stop coming back. And like reality shows, sometimes you yell at your tv. Amanda is a big girl (as am I and I only call people by their given names) and she can handle herself. I’m sure she understands that as her blog gets more and more popular, more and more people are going to have things to say about it and it won’t all be positive. I really doubt she is truly surprised by negative commenters. Or do I say you, since you’re reading this too? Weird.

Anyway, just because you put your life out there, it doesn’t make you accountable to everyone who reads. But seriously, we’re going to bite people’s heads off who make observations? Really? I know Rae isn’t the only one who has scratched their head and gone, “huh, I thought she was broke? Whatevs. I’m going back to my life now.” I know I have.

At any rate, even though this blog is pretty wide open, it’s still just a collection of life snapshots. Even though we are all intimately acquainted with her holes, we don’t *really* know Amanda.

So let’s all take a deep breath, grab some wine and enjoy the show.

Maggie December 6, 2011 at 7:36 pm

“its still just a collection of life snapshots” – perfect explanation for this and for most blogs! lots off things make me go “huh?” but I too move on. As for the haterz, I have learned to live my life by the rule of the 3 F’s: if someone is not feeding, fucking or financing me, their opinion DOES NOT MATTER. The end.

NickleDyke December 6, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Maggie,
I do believe:

“I have learned to live my life by the rule of the 3 F’s: if someone is not feeding, fucking or financing me, their opinion DOES NOT MATTER. The end.”

is going to be my epitaph. thank you for your magical words!

Danni December 7, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Ok, I just found my life mantra or slogan or whatever. THE 3F’s!!!! Where the hell have they been my whole life!!!!

Love it! I’m too Southern to just say that aloud but maybe I can get a shirt made??

Mindy Clarke December 7, 2011 at 3:31 pm

This is amazing. I may steal this. hope you don’t mind Maggie!

Olivia December 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm

MODG,
LET YOUR HATERS BE YOUR MOTIVATORS!
And to said hater, I would suggest spellcheck.

P.S.
G is just too much cuteness in one teeny package,
Congrats on your year of wonderful accomplishments.

melissa December 6, 2011 at 9:09 pm

I thought I posted this earlier, but I have a tendency to not hit submit. LOFT’s skinny cords look pretty similar to the J. Crew matchstick and they have 30% off like every other day. If I didn’t have thunder thighs, I’d be all over them.

teresa December 6, 2011 at 9:59 pm

it’s just that amanda has a way with making me believe we are bffs here and i didn’t think rae derserved the mind your own business routine. that’s all no biggie. and i hated blogging cause my life is waaay too boring and i have no business trying to make the mundane sound awesome. i’m of the belief that different opinions don’t =hater. and i also believe that if something makes you pee out your butt, why do it. unless it makes you skinny.
so help me understand something…the comment section is only for people who agree with you? is that right? see i can’t even comment awesome.

Danni December 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm

teresa, I think the point is “do you!”

If MODG can afford a party at BK or the freakin Taj Mahal is not our business. You can comment and disagree with “Man, I would never spend that much but that’s just me. Congrats on turning 1, G!” or some derivative of that and I’m sure no one will get all pissy with you. BUT to respond with something that basically translates to “You are a hypocrit and you claim to be poor and you should learn to budget” is just crazy and it would be easier to walk away from the blog (FOREVER) if you feel that way.

Disagreeing is one thing, but getting up on your soapbox is another.

Hugs and Sparkles…..Please don’t get mad at me :)

D December 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Amanda “doesn’t have a way” with anything. *You* are making being her BFF routine up in your head. It’s her blog – it’s her choices – and it’s your choice to read. That you would continue to make excuses for someone being rude is a pretty clear defense of what you were probably already feeling as well.

Stop enabling bad behavior on the internet and please stop your pathetic, manipulative “I can’t even comment now” bullshit. You can say whatever you want to say but act like a grown woman and deal with the consequences.

NickleDyke December 6, 2011 at 10:38 pm

MODG, you are fabulous, don’t mind the twat waffles out there.

ZDub December 7, 2011 at 1:43 am

Twat waffles is my new go to phrase.

Katie E. December 7, 2011 at 1:22 pm

The impact of a well placed twat waffle in conversation cannot be underestimated.

Miranda December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Here’s the emoticon: \#/

I'llSleepWhenThey'reGrown December 8, 2011 at 1:17 am

You really have to scroll down slowly to get to this little nugget. Great emoticon!

http://illsleepwhentheyregrown.com/2011/12/07/ask-mama-jells-how-do-i-react-if-my-kid-is-hitting/

Miranda December 8, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Right? It’s completely useful and totally awesome.

AmyFaith December 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Awesome.

Meredith December 6, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I think it’s ironic that Amanda looks a teensy like Melissa. I not-so-secretly hope that Teresa looks a whole lot like Theresa.

Dawn December 7, 2011 at 12:01 am

That chick needs to “own” her lack of 7th grade English. It’s “seem”, not “seems”. And off has 2 F’s. Dumb twat.

Clarissa December 7, 2011 at 2:07 am

God, I’m going to be a terrible mom. When I puke & have butt pee I hide in my bed for a minimum of three days and insist my boyfriend (or mom or roommate or dog, whoever is around) feed me saltine crackers. No way do I go to parties the next day.

MODG = hardcore

Yaz December 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

I threw my baby a kind of get to know him party, ( we never had a shower) when he was 9 months old. I rented a hall, had catering, went ALL out. I spent the ENTIRE time trying to comfort him, bc he was going NUTSO from all the people. I actually left in the middle of the party to have a little sob fest for 10 minutes in the bathroom. lol. SUPER stressful. Now, for his first bday ( also a dec baby) I’ve decided to keep it really small and simple. Just a few family members bc I don’t think I can handle another 5 hour screamfest.

Katie E. December 7, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Ladies, I will say again what I posted above in one of the meanie comments, “If you can’t say something nice, keep your mouth shut, or someone wittier will make you look/feel like an idiot.” And that happened…so…moving on…yay! You survived your first year with your drama baby. They get infinitely more fun as they age. I understand the party stress, but that is why cake is served, it is guilt free stress eating. Next birthday all will be well. I think my M.’s 1st birthday will involved some awesome tackiness and an ugly cake (my family insists I bake, and the cakes are humorously hideous, they are perverse people). Now I have to go get my baby who is trying to eat the doorjamb. Well wishes to G. and enjoy this next year, it’s really the cutest age.

julie s. December 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm

“If you can’t say something nice, keep your mouth shut, or someone wittier will make you look/feel like an idiot.” <—I wish I could pass these wonderful words of wisdom on to every dumb ass on the internet commenting on ANYTHING.

Whit December 7, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Could it be? Two of my favorite bloggers collide? I spy Bottle Pop Party and I spy Modg goodness. I can’t WAIT for the party recap.

Kelsi December 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm

my Levi is 8 wks old today…I’m already stressing about the big first birthday! can’t wait to see the deets of G’s par-tay!

Anne December 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

SAHM, single income home, TOTALLY on a budget….I am perfectly willing to sacrifice buying fruits and vegetables for my kids so I can have 17 diet cokes a day. It’s all about how you chose to spend your money. Lighten up people, MODG can do whatever she wants with her money or lack of it, just like you. Being on a budget doesn’t mean you can’t buy fun stuff, but that you have to plan for it.

Please post 100 pictures of the party. The teaser alone makes it look awesome. And when my daughter turned one she threw her cupcake on the floor, totally pissed we were even looking at her. Her perfectly decorated, $6 cupcake. You win some, you lose some.

Kathie Jones December 7, 2011 at 4:22 pm

My girls were (respectively) born in March and January. Man does That. Suck. For the oldest we do a XYZ and 1/2 birthday party in mid summer. I am thinking as the babee gets older it will be the same. January parties for kids…wow. No. Suckishness. Awk. :(

Jennii December 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Happy Birthday G!! And YAY for Mum and Dad for making it a year!!

Can we have party pics now please? I LOVE kids parties and I go all out spending $$$ on shit that I really didnt need. My fiance and bank account does the whole, eye roll at me. But I.dont.care. Birthdays are a once yearly thing! Go CRAZY I say!!!

Erin December 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Bottom Line: She is celebrating her little boy’s first birthday. She loves him more than anything in the world-that gives her all the reason in the world the right to spend whatever the hell she wants on his party regardless of her financial circumstances (not that she needs her reader’s permission to do so and not that it is ANY OF OUR BUSINESS)!

Rachel Matteis December 7, 2011 at 10:04 pm

MODG, I read your blog regularly. Sometimes, I think to myself, “Gee, I wish I was more like that MODG.” But lately, I’m wondering if you’ve been thinking the same about little old me. You see , I recommended the Rody Horse & he made it into your post. In my reply to that post, I mentioned J. Crew Matchstick Cords, now they’ve popped up here.

Listen, I’m awesome… You’re awesome… Apparently, we have similar taste in vinyl and corduroy. We should plan some weird sort of Amazon.com textile-related (read: clothes for ladies) shopping spree. I’d be so proud to call you one of my Interwebs Friends.

Virtual high five for being a stylish mom/lady.

Jen9 December 8, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Jesus Christ….all this nonsense over a baby’s birthday. Get the fuck over yourself and let MODG continue on with her awesomeness.

Jessica December 9, 2011 at 12:05 am

Thank you for posting. I feel like I’ve been through war after having my baby. I read other moms experiences and they talk about how great the baby made life and how closer they feel with the baby’s dad. It made me feel isolated and alone because that is something I didn’t experience. My baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but he turned my life upside down. So, thanks for your honesty and being brave enough to share with us.

jenn December 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

haters gonna hate,
potatoes gonna potate.

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