I would like to begin this post by praying to the gods of plastic and lights, that G does not receive all of these toys. My house is busting out like Jessica Simpson’s shirt in church. Also the ghost in our house sets off the especially creepy toys when I’m home alone in the other room just to F with me. I don’t need that ghost. I’m all set on creepy children laughs, thanks.
Now, the dilemma we face is that we have G’s birthday next week followed directly by Christmas. So I feel like we get one shot to supply the majority of entertainment for this child until he is 2. That is some damn baby pressure if you ask me. I don’t know jack wad about 2 year olds. So I did some research, I spoke with some hippies and I’m going to ask you as well. But here is our list. It’s long and in charge. That’s what she said.
G is just about to walk. He’s like so active it’s crazy. He just wants to move everywhere and fast. I’m so lucky that he’s going to be at his peak active RIGHT when it’s about to blizzard our faces off. And by lucky, I mean black plague type of lucky. So I’m highly interested in things that will allow him to turn our own into his own speedway. This is not ugly. It comes in pink (pleasegetpinkpleasegetpink) and other great colors. Yes please to Santa.
So you know how the hot list for kids every year is like some elmo shit or something? This is on the hippie hot list. My hippie friends informed me that this is a must have for the kiddos as they get to be a bit bigger. It’s basically scaffolding for the kids. So you can be like, hey kid, change that lightbulb stat! Or, hey kid, those windows aren’t going to wash themselves. Ok, no. They are for your kid to “help”. You know the kind of help that is like, throw the bowl of chopped onions on your head and dump the bowl of flour down your pants kind of help. But really, it’s safe and hippie kids love it.
As I mentioned, it’s freeze your face season. We need as MANY ways to get out of the house and burn on nap points as possible. Lots of nap points means long naps. So we want gift certificates to gymboree so we can go all the freaking time and roll around and dance and play and bop and whatever else it is kids with the energy of 50 Red Bulls do.
I asked a friend what to ask for as he got a little older and she said DEF table and chairs. Duh, for baby dinner parties, obv. Apparently kids need mini furniture to live their lives. Who knew? But isn’t this one ADOR? I LOVE it and want it so million bad. I mean G wants it. He totally does.
Ok fair warning: we’re BIG Melissa and Doug fans. For those of you who don’t know this awesome brand, they are all toys that are wooden without lights and sound. Before you go eye rolling on me again, imagine a world without your house screaming THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO BLAHBLAHBLAH BEEP BEEP BOING BOING LET’S DANCE AND SING BZZZZ. Yeah, exactly. You’ll be a hippie too. This is another toy that was recommended to me for the closer to 2 year old. And let’s face it, G will be facing the eastern window in his beret and smock painting the sunrise for 4,000 dollars. These Learning Mat Crayons are also on his list to create his works of genius.
This is an etsy shop of kids clothes that I die for. I mean it’s more than I ever feel like spending on kids clothes, but for something special, like a military raid, I’d be down.
This is our big ticket Christmas item that actually isn’t all that expensive, but the thing we’re really hoping that G gets. The boy is obsessed with all things kitchen. He just wants to sit in the kitchen all damn day, even when no one is there. He drags around his spatula and tupperware and makes a whole thing of it. I was told that this kitchen is the one to get because the knobs turn and that is where it’s at for babies.
Mellissa and Doug also sell a ton of different food packs for the kitchen. Did I mention that they also support asians.
One of you badasses recommended this bad boy to me. It’s Euro which means super weird! Go to the website and check it out. The kids go ape shit on this thing.
Ok I’ll be honest, I’m on the fence about this one. I had a puppet show when I was little and it was like THE best toy of my life. I put on 3000 shows there for anyone who would watch me for 3 seconds. There was the Amanda show, the Magic Amanda show, The Super Song and Dance Amanda show. Actually, there were rarely puppets. But G has a flare for the dramatic and he needs and outlet. They also make a billion ador puppets too. Melissa & Doug Pirate Puppet
Ok you guys recommended this one to me and I am also on the fence about it. But like a million of you said how awesome it is. It’s sort of expensive though and I don’t really get it. But we’ll give it a shot. I think it teaches kids how to break into houses.
Our FAVORITE clothing store for G is 77kids. It’s American Eagle but for punk ass kids. If you want your baby to be a total wannabe hipster like G. You need this store in your life. He MAY have red plaid zipper leggings from the girl’s department. GIFT CARDS.
Another must have from the hippie community. This is a great stroller alternative at the farmer’s market. Also good on halloween. Also good when you’re teaching them how to outrun the cops. You throw them in with your sack of apples and you’re on your freaking way.
I have it on good authority that these boots are where it’s at for snow. I’m so overwhelmed with the snow purchases. The suit, the gloves, the hats, the boots. And they have to be different from the regular gloves, coat, hat and boots because they have to be snow proof and water proof and demon proof. So yeah, I’m starting here.
Another reader recommendation. See I do read your comments. Most of them. Whatever. I do. B keeps the house 33 degrees (NOT freezing). So I feel like I need this for my bundle of skin in the crib so he doesn’t freeze out of his diaper. It’s a little pricey but if B can go on saving his 3 dollars and 64 cents every month on heat, IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
Have I told you how OVER high chairs I am? OVER THEM. They are foul foul disgusting pieces of food crust. This bad boy just hooks onto the table. We’re big on all eating together at the same time with G, so this will make him feel like more part of the dinner. It travels well too.
B is in charge of bath time. G told me that B’s routine is getting stale and he needs to jazz it up a bit. Amazon says kids love this. And look at it…obviously asian made. Ok. Deal.
When I clean the house every Tuesday (YES EVERY TUESDAY) G just wants to help. He carries his little spray bottle and rag around with me and sweeping is his favorite part. Well, he also really loves the vacuum. But he’s getting this. I could use the help.
And there you have it. My toy list and recommendations for 1-2 year olds. Although what the hell do I know? I really do these post to get YOUR recommendations. So give it to me, what else do I need for my little monster?
And this concludes the holiday edition of STUFF WE WANT.