Reviewing post baby jeans AS A FAVOR TO YOU. You owe me shoes. STILL.

We’re about to share some intimate moments together. We as in, you, me and my post pregnant body. I’m comfortable with this because we share a strong bond. And it’s like *just* me and you, so I feel like that’s sort of private. But here are the rules:

In exchange for my total honesty about the jeans we discussed and how to accurately stuff your fat into them, you will not comment in any of the following ways:

1) You are so fat now.

2) You are so skinny so stop complaining.

3) You are not really Asian.

When I gave birth to G I also gave birth to hips, thighs and a belly. I’m not complaining (totally complaining) but this is sort of new for me so I’m figuring out AND I NEED YOUR SUPPORT SO LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT. Those are the only rules. If we can follow them, we can continue with our intimate relationship and move on to 3rd base. But things are going to have to stop there because in addition to the 3 bottles of table wine I bought today, I also bought this:

Which is another reason why you will follow my rules and you will not F with me. TRUST when I say this is your warning.

Ok, jeans. Jeans are such a whore ass bitch. Who came up with the idea that we should all wear stiff, fat pinching diarrhea causing pants like EVERY DAY? That person should be sent to jail. But whatever, it is our reality. So I’m reviewing 3 of the high waisties we discussed in our last jeans post.

Jeans #1

Gap’s High Rise

I had these hemmed for flats. Mistake. I think it’s in the law books of life that high waisted wide legged pants just CAN’T be worn with flats. It’s like trying to reason with B to just use the damn GPS to get us home….it just CAN’T happen and if it does, it’s ugly.

So I *thought* I could get a reasonably low wedge to make it work.

I was wrong.

The only thing worse than a wide leg with flats is a too short hem. BAD.

So this was a pretty big fail. However I will say, with the right hem and the right heel, these could be cute.

Next up

7’s Ginger (which I owned pre pregnancy)

These jeans are a pain in my ass. If you’re into ironing jeans, these are for you. The rise is good but they are as lightweight as a GD khaki. And I don’t wear khaki’s because I don’t iron and I don’t work at a Denny’s. These are hemmed for heels but as you can see are still too short. However with these, I don’t care. I’ll still wear them with the damn wedge because I’m running out of options.

Next

BDG High Rise

I haven’t cleaned my mirror since 1998 so although my vagina does look haunted, I promise it’s probably toothpaste spit. Ok here’s the deal with these. I would NEVER wear them with a shirt tucked in or even a short shirt. But BUT BUT, if you think of them like super control top leggings with a tunic or long sweater, they have good potential. Let me explain

These bad boys come up HIGH and they really suck you in. Downside: I may have gotten diarrhea from the amount of suck in at the end of a long day. BUT I DON’T CARE.

Please look at this before and after:

Again, not like I’m wearing this sort of thing. I’m not interested in this look. But I want you to see what these sort of jeans can do for a womanly wombat vagina hat.

So for now, worn in the correct way. These are the winners.

However, I still have high hopes for these, which are STILL on GD backorder. They better be worth it.

Now a few housekeeping items.

I realized too late that you wanted to probably see the wedges I bought. I followed all of your advice and got the TOM’s. They are comfortable but not THAT comfortable. The peep is inappropriate for winter and they sort of cut my big toe into lunchmeat.

But I still kind of like them.  And oh, I mentioned that I remembered to show you these too late. This is what I meant by that:

And I bet the extra stalky few of you notice a few things different with my toilet. No? Get a closer look:

Every trashcan in our house now lives on an elevated surface. G eats trash, tissues, toilet paper, toilet paper holders, random white caps on things and thinks flushing the toilet is a super power.

And there we have it folks. Dressing the post preg body in jeans is the bitchiest bitch in the whole sorority. And that’s bitchy. But this is a work in progress.

And those tampons? They won’t be here for long. this is on the way.

Which will not be modeled on the toilet. Hippie vaginas unite.

Screw you jeans. I need a cocktail.

xoxo

MODG pants.

PS. Now that we’re intimate with all of my lady parts, I’m open to jean recommendations. If you STILL think there is a pair I need to try, let me know.

 

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POSTED IN: Drunk Stuff,how-to,Mom Stuff,Not Pleased,Stuff on a toilet,Style

{ 118 comments }

crunchy oklahoma September 28, 2011 at 9:28 pm

YAY YAY for the Diva Cup! You will love it… but there’s a learning curve, so be patient and wear pantiliners. Haha. You look great. :)

Roxanne F September 28, 2011 at 9:28 pm

AHhhh none of the pics are showing up for me!! just the wedge shoes – which are UBER cute, and the tampons…which i could have done without seeing! Cant wait to see the jeans!!

Andréa September 28, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Just want to throw out there that the Diva Cup is the best purchase I’ve ever made. It’s so convenient, so eco-friendly, and lasts so much longer. I can’t even imagine wearing tampons now.

Nikki September 28, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Maybe it’s just my computer, but your photos are taking awhile to load… I wanna see the jeans review! I had a baby last November and I’m still struggling with the damn extra weight. No I don’t want to give up my wine, chocolate or go to an effing mommy boot camp class. I should be able to wish it off, right? be tee dubs (btw) I play(ed) soccer with Single Guy (aka Krum)… he told me about your blog and I was preggo when you were preggo so it was extra fun to read. Sorry I waited to comment until now, I’m lazy and usually only read through google reader.

Nikki September 28, 2011 at 9:38 pm

me again. omg are you going to do a review on the diva cup? I mean, it may be gross, but I’m so intrigued. I’ve never heard of such a thing.

Mara September 29, 2011 at 11:19 am

YES! Please do a review on the Diva Cup! I have been curious, but scared for a while. :o)

Mama G September 28, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Um, I’m just gonna throw it out there…you are hot, Momma! Ghost vagina and all.

natalie September 28, 2011 at 9:44 pm

i am also hoping for a diva cup review. i have wanted to use it for awhile but i am a little afraid because of things i’ve heard about it. i’ve never actually talked to someone that used it beyond an amazon review

Steph September 28, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Modg, that cup thing says “pre-childbirth.”

M September 29, 2011 at 11:21 am

Yeah, that would suck. But, you can order either pre-childbirth or post. I think the post is in a purply blue box.

Steph September 28, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Also, you look great in the Gap-hemmed-for-flats pants. Totally can wear flats with them. Practical and you look cute. Go for it. No real mom can wear wedges everyday, right? Like, only the ones with live-in nannies.

AP September 28, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Holy Mom Hotness. Those BDG Highrise are the bomb. Anything that comes that close to giving the illusion of pre-preg skinnies? I’m a fan. I have a funny feeling they’re almost worth their diarrhea-sqeezies. And while my 14 month old sleeps and I stuff my face with a bowl of ice cream the size of my head (gee, i wonder why my hips aren’t shrinking?), I’m going to find me a pair. Or two! Thanks for the reviews (and the cheap towel shot..) Oh and I do love my TOMS though. Flats though. No wedges. Houndstooth? To die for. Love them.

Ellie September 28, 2011 at 9:56 pm

In other news, these are totally vagina towels, right??
http://www.crateandbarrel.com/kitchen-and-food/dishtowels/pomegranate-dishtowel/s244255

MODG September 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm

totally.

AbigailMallon September 28, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Something must be wrong with my computer, I cant see any pics : (

Halley September 28, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Ha! I was really surprised by the tampax and I was considering tell you about
The diva cup! It’s amazing, you’ll love it! Just make sure you aim towards the back wall of your ghost
Vag when putting it in!

Abby September 28, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Dude, Diva cup RULES – Let’s all review that awesomeness. Although, I have to say, the diva cup postpartum has been a different experience than pre-pregnancy. I think it has something to do with the (lack of) kegels I do.

Danielle September 28, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I agree with Crunchy Oklahoma… there’s DEFINITELY a learning curve. Patience and a back up plan the first few times are KEY!

Mer B September 28, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Also can’t see any pics…

Stephanie September 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

What is the diva cup?! It sounds interesting and I want to know more about it…so please write a post about it! lol Also, the jeans with the flats looks great, oh and speaking of your flats, love those!

gi-jo September 28, 2011 at 10:27 pm

I like the 7’s Ginger jeans with the belt and love the skinny jeans too. Both give you the uber skinnies. And also the TOMS are tres cute. I am sure you’ve already seen this but look up J’s everyday fashion blog. She’s got some cute ideas.

Jamie September 28, 2011 at 10:31 pm

on the topic of clothes — where do you get your breastfeeder-friendlly v-necks? i can’t seem to find any long ones these days…..
my breasts thank you.

sarah September 29, 2011 at 12:37 am

i’m gonna go ahead and chime in here. Target makes the very best v-necks in the history of the universe. boyfriend t is their official name. buy ten. thank me later.

Jamie October 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm

thx sarah and jamet. off i go to google xo

Janet September 29, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Target is good but there’s also Threads for Thought. Check out the website. Cheap, and made of organic cotton/recycled poly. The basic tank and the scoopneck longsleeve tee are great for breastfeeding.

Stef September 28, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Thank you for this post – honestly, I’ve been evaluating jeans for my own personal fall “collection” but I just haven’t been up to the challenge with my post-baby bod. So currently my collection consist of leggings which I’ve started to accumulate in scary amounts. And no matter how many pairs of expensive boots you buy they’re still leggings. Anyway this helped me a ton – I was at the waaaaay bottom of the jean recommendation blog but I really do love the Express button tab wide leg jean. I feel like if I post the link again I’m being kind of pushy – even though I totally am pushy – so I won’t. They’re super light weight (which took a little getting used to in the COLD WI weather) and unfortunately they also have to be ironed if not immediately hung up after washing – but they’re the one pair of jeans I actually felt pretty good in after having my son. Plus even with 10lbs to go they gave me a case of the skinnies…

Also glad to see the toilet again – I started to miss her…

Phaelyn September 28, 2011 at 10:56 pm

. You are beautiful and all the jeans look amazing! You can totally rock the high waisted jean. I am going to go with the Gap jeans because I love gap. And 7 jeans are a little out of my price range,lol

ashlie September 28, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Could not come at a better time. I’m also caught in that “but look! I can do up my old jeans, so I’m back to my old self!” area where it’s totally not true because I should not be seen in public wearing my old low-waisted jeans. Le sigh. And only 2 months to find belly sucking work pants…it might be a winter of sweater dresses for me.

Jayne September 28, 2011 at 10:59 pm

I am in the same jeans situation. I lost all the baby weight but still have a GUNT to contend with and my pre preg jeans are not cutting it. I got a pair of Levis Demi Curve Classic straight leg. The are higher waisted but not super high and very flattering. I highly recommend.

Rebecca September 28, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Ok, so first, I was going to comment on how you spent all your money on pants instead of spending it on toilet paper. But fine. So instead, wtf is this diva cup thing? Yes I read the description, but all I know is that it is reusable and economical. It’s like some super secret product I’m not allowed to know anything about. My “research” on amazon led me to this: http://www.amazon.com/Go-Girl-Female-Urination-Lavender/dp/B003BEDUS6/ref=pd_sim_hpc3
Allows women the convenience of going to the bathroom standing up. I mean…

Karen September 29, 2011 at 7:10 am

I saw the same thing Rebecca and am in total amazement. I’m not sure if I can handle standing while peeing. I’m fascinated by this little invention though and do think it would be cool in an porta potty or other scary bathroom situation. I fear I might behave like a 3 year old little boy just learning the proper ways to pee!

crunchy oklahoma September 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm

It’s a latex or silicone cup you… er… insert in your vag to hold the blood instead of absorbing it. I PROMISE that is not nearly as uncomfortable as it souds, you kinda fold it up, put it in and let it open up inside. Then you just empty and reinsert periodically.

StylinMom September 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm

you look great in all of them….jeans are a tough business….great blog very funny…can’t wait to hear what else you have to say!!

Rach September 28, 2011 at 11:07 pm

You look gorge. As in gorgeous, not as in “gorge myself on chicken nuggets with honey and REAL McD’s orange drink”. (That’s me.) Especially love the BDG skinnies with the ankle crop!

But hemming jeans… such a foreign concept to us 5’9″ chicks…. :D

Amanda C September 28, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Rach,

At 5’10, I TOTALLY understand! I can’t seem to find pants long enough! EVER

Kate September 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

5’11” and feel the pain. Martin + Osa had great, super long jeans that they tailored for free in the store, not that I took advantage of that service. But alas, they are gone. I invested in some Luckys that work with flats but I have yet to find the super hot, butt hugging, boot cut jeans with a 36″ inseam so I can wear my wedges.

Jilly-J's Mom September 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm

You guys should try Alloy. It’s only online, but they have up to 37″ inseams, and CUTE jeans. Prices range from $35-$100 about.

ZDub September 28, 2011 at 11:09 pm

1. I warned you about Tom’s.
2. I prefer Instead Softcup to the D Cup.
3. Your jeans make you look Asian.

Melissa September 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm

I say soft cup over diva cup, anyday!

Chrystal September 30, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I agree, Instead soft cup is way better.

ChristinaW September 28, 2011 at 11:14 pm

I’m ALLLL for the Diva Cup!! Wedges…this MAY sound old lady-ish but Easy Spirit I bet has a some dec wedges (or maybe some that would at least look good with jeans covering them) and I bet they’d be comfy.

Carla September 28, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Okay number one, you rule. Number two I just got a pair of mid rise, which are actually high rise, gunt swallowing jeans from Levis. They are “bold curve” so rude, like I my muffin top needed a “sexy” name but they seem to do the trick.

Nikki September 28, 2011 at 11:40 pm

So I see I’m not the only Nikki. Cool.

Anyways. Your legs look nice. o_o;;

And the Sevens look nice too. I liked the comparison with the last pair of pants, though. It pulls in!

Diva Cup? Why is there a little spout at the bottom… Won’t it leak out that part? o_o;

REI September 29, 2011 at 10:47 pm

It’s not a spout, but just a little stem so you can grab it to remove it to empty it. The directions recommend trimming it to whatever length is comfortable. In order for mine not to feel Ike it was sticking out, I had to cut it off completely.
That sounds really dirty.

KailiReynolds September 28, 2011 at 11:59 pm

ugh. the diva cup. i started using it with my first kid.
when the ladies say bring back up, you better believe it.
that bitch slips out on a moments notice.
not a good thing for someone who ever has to leave the house.
i used the diva cup and “glad rags” as back up. (i figured if my kid is in cloth i might as well be doing the same)
i eventually got annoyed at the random slips of the diva cup and went back to tampons.
i use the eco hippy no applicator kind… what is it about you that makes us share such private info online??

Danielle September 29, 2011 at 12:03 am

MODG I AM SO HAPPY WITH YOU! I am borderline creepy stalker because I don’t think I’ve ever commented and now I feel WORSE because I am commenting for the first time about something you are going to stick in your vagina but hopefully you won’t mind! I am SO excited that you are getting a Diva Cup. I have a LadyCup which I think is from Croatia or something (not trying to be fancy…I was in Europe when I got it and DivaCup is only sold in the US and Canada I believe) but it’s basically the same thing and it is the best thing that ever happened to me besides guacamole. You are going to love it. I could go into all the reasons why but I already feel creepy enough so I don’t want to overdo it. But definitely do a review and convince everyone to get one because I don’t personally know anyone else who has one and I want every woman in the world to know the joys of menstrual cups. The end.

Caels momma September 29, 2011 at 4:09 am

Ok why have I never ever heard of the diva cup? Like ever. How did you discover this crazy contraptionamagiggy? And please please do a review, I’m not spending money on that until I get a good review from my good friend. Bc after all I’m a borderline stalker. Speaking off stalker, I noticed in one of the pics it shows a glimpse of what’s on your bathroom counter and now I’m dying to see a picture of the rest of your bathroom, although I’m sure its the best part :)

Bryna September 29, 2011 at 4:17 am

There is just no way around it… the tums after c-sction sucks. And sucks worse in jeans. Reason number 142234323 that c-sections suck. And the vagina hat… let’s talk about how it is numb at the incision area. Maybe it is supposed to be that way for all the tucking/sucking that has to occur to look normal in jeans post section. Seriously, no one told me I would have a numb vagina hat. Am I alone in this?

Anyway.

I have yet to find a pair that looks good WHILE SITTING DOWN. Standing, sure, I can pull it off. Sitting… nasty flab in my face. And it’s in my face a lot because my daughter nurses a lot. And I hate sitting down to feed her and seeing the white unstopable flab. How were the pairs you reviewed while sitting on the toilet?

MODG September 29, 2011 at 9:09 am

yes, it’s numb. weirdest ever.

britt September 29, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Yes! I was wondering if I was the only one. And my scar is very hard. Im scared of it. Also the dumb bitch who cut me open, did it on an angle so its crooked. I’m pissed. At least do it straight across.

Anna October 1, 2011 at 12:53 pm

5 months post c-section does anyone have a comment on post c-section bikini waxes? I have avoided the numb area so far and go tthrough the summer in a one piece but wondering how long to stay away.

Jade September 29, 2011 at 5:01 am

Yay for Diva Cup! It’s awesome (though it did take a few months for me to *really* get the hang of using it. learning curve is right!). But I do hope you got the POST- childbirth one…
P.S. The last high-waisted ones are totally skinny-for-the-win from the front view…but are they skinny from the side too? Cuz that’s my problem with high-waisted jeans. They always cause a pooch from the side view for me.

MrsE September 29, 2011 at 5:36 am

I think the first two pair would look good with a pair of tennis shoes– but my favorite look is Flip Flops 24/7…. so you can trust me? And the skinny jeans are cool as long as you do promise to avoid becoming Sandra Dee ;) I have to rec’s otherwise as I have about 70lbs post babies…so I stick with my low waist so I can actually breathe when I sit down…

koreen September 29, 2011 at 6:47 am

The diva cup is the best. It takes a few months to get the hang of it, and definitely is comfortable from the first. Best decision I ever made. AND it made my periods less heavy. If that’s possible. I’ve heard the chemicals they put in tampons and pads affect your lady parts, so yes, leaving THEM behind is the best decision ever.

In other news, glad to see you’re human. Jean length is a hard thing to work with when you’ve got heels and flats and wedges to deal with.

Jamie @ See You There! September 29, 2011 at 6:49 am

I actually really like the gap jeans with flats, just my hippie comfort side speaking, but the 3rd pair is def best. Magic! I hope you review the silence and noise jeans when u get them, I ordered them too! I have high hopes.

Jamie @ See You There! September 29, 2011 at 6:56 am

P.s. your cat is awesome

Joelle September 29, 2011 at 7:38 am

Why does Amazon provide the cheaper option to buy USED Diva Cups??? That scares me more than the thought of using a new one. You should definitely do a review. I mean, it doesn’t get much more personal than wombat lady flaps. And boobs.

MODG September 29, 2011 at 9:10 am

this is strange. good looking out.

Mandy September 29, 2011 at 8:27 am

Diva changed my life, it is awesome awesome awesome. I have been using for 2 yrs, never a problem at all (I don’t have kids yet so that might make a diff though?) There is a good LiveJournal site out there that compares different kinds of m cups if you are clueless like I was when I first found this wonderful contraption.

Stephanie September 29, 2011 at 8:38 am

Okay, MODG, I have some questions. I’m almost 10 months post-partum–I’m guessing my little dude was born just a couple of weeks before yours–so I’m just wondering about a couple of things that are relevant to me as well. First of all, are you back to your pre-pregnancy weight? I’m nowhere near mine (I don’t want to talk about it), so no judgies. I’m just wondering what I can expect if I ever *do* get back to that fabled land of semi-skinny. Also, so you really had a return of The Red Menace? I’m wondering because I still haven’t seen hide nor hair of it, and I’m starting to worry if maybe I need to go out and buy a pregnancy test. Shit. Thanks for sharing, MODG-pants!

MODG September 29, 2011 at 9:11 am

I WAS back to my pre preg weight. Now I’m 6lbs over it. When you have to eat gluten free soy free dairy free, you take what you can get, and I gained weight. It’s ok, I’m dealing.
My period isn’t here yet, but any day. Trust when I say that. You don’t want the details

Momma A September 29, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Ladies. You bring up a few questions that I’ve had as well…So, how do you KNOW that you are close to your period?? I’ve been nursing my 9 mth old daughter exclusively and over the last few weeks have started to get what I thought/think are pregnancy symptoms. I have not had my first period post delivery….and…We use condoms, usuuallllly (DISLIKE) However, I’ve had…nipple soreness, massive heart burn, light cramping, headaches and nausea. I have NO clue when to take a pregnancy test…as I have nothing to gauge it off of. My gut (literally) tells me that Aunt Flow wants to come knocking and my bod is preparing for it…but these are the same PG symptoms I had with both my kiddos. Anyone else have a similar experience?

Jen A September 29, 2011 at 8:40 am

So yes, I love the Diva too. Except for the fact that one time when my week was over, I pulled it out in the shower, cleaned it, and left it on the ledge. My husband came to me that night and said, “We need to talk. I can’t have your blood catcher sitting in the shower. It freaks me out.” So there’s that…

Lisa September 29, 2011 at 8:59 am

I’d tap that.

And I’m a fan of the Ginger jeans. Plus I’m a ginger, so there ya go.

Kiki September 29, 2011 at 9:03 am

I can’t believe I have never seen anything on the DivaCup or its like. Years — and I am talking way long ago — I worked for a plastics company that worked with J&J and a woman came in doing R&D on a product like this. It was “weird” for me in my mid-20’s to talk about period stuff with the guys in the office. But I thought it never went anywhere. I am def going to to do some research and try one out. Love to be green when I can. Power to the hippies!!

Alex September 29, 2011 at 9:14 am

Ok first of all can someone explain to me what that vagina cup thing is?! I have a baby and have never heard of that before. Looks kind of scary if you ask me. Secondly, I can’t keep toilet paper on the roll anymore either. My house basically looks exactly like your bathroom. Because Sydney. will eat. ANYTHING. Her new thing is to go in the garbage can, take stuff out of it, and hand it to me.

PS. cute leopard shoes. I want them!

NSC September 29, 2011 at 9:16 am

Couple of things….

First, being a short person, I can honestly tell you no hemming will be perfect. Having a large variety of shoes for every length makes it all better. And I think flats were just great for that first pair. I can’t wait until my hobbit feet go away and I can wear my pretty shoes again.

Also…being as I’m dangerously close to being “plus size” or “full figured” (what is the pc way of calling it?) I personally wouldn’t try the skinny leg jeans (wish wish wish wish) BUT I would totally do the others…do they come in, ahem, “larger” sizes?? I would check myself, but all the shopping sites are blocked to save my credit card. And I’m going to need lots of tummy help when the kid makes her appearance in the world.

Robyn September 29, 2011 at 9:24 am

I like the 7’s the best. Sorry, but not a fan of the Tom’s wedges. I have looked into this Diva Cup business a few times but have’nt made the jump. A review from you would be awesomesauce : )

Ryan September 29, 2011 at 9:49 am

OMG! Those jeans TOTALLY make you look Asian. :)

MaryBeth September 29, 2011 at 10:56 am

I think we should start a fund to buy you a full length floor mirror. I am starting to get scared you might fall off that toilet in your wedges one day and then were would we all be without your wit and wisdom?

Jesse September 29, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I’ve never tried the diva cup, but I ha no luck with the “instead cup.” I use natural sea sponges when I’m at home. I get them from a web site called jade and pearl. I think they’re great.
And I love my pre-preg 7 roxanne high-waisted jeans. They hit right below my belly button and are very flattering.

Cortnie September 29, 2011 at 12:20 pm

MODG – LISTEN! Go to Target and buy the Missoni skinny jeans. They’re super stretchy fantastic and will only put you back $35. And they’re called SKINNY so you can feel skinny wearing them.
I love these. http://tinyparticlesoflight.blogspot.com/2011/09/missoni-souvenirs.html

xo
cortnie

Cortnie September 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Did I say Missoni jeans?? Yeah, no. I meant MOSSIMO. You know that fancy brand, right?

xo
cortnie

Jennifer September 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm

I second the Mossimo jeans at Target! I bought them in white last spring and they fit really well. Just high enough rise that I’m not always tugging at them and the skinny leg is cute with flats, heels or boots. I wish I could find a good-fitting True Religion with a higher waist. Excited to see you reviewing some higher waisted jeans.

Molly September 29, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Citizens for Humanity “Amber” – High Rise Bootcut. They are amazing (and may have caused diarrhea a time or two). Please review the DivaCup!!!

Casey September 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

1. You aren’t skinny and you aren’t fat. You do, however, look awesome. Does that follow the rules?
2. Those last jeans (the skinny ones) do amazing things. I commend you for being able to wear high-waisters. I just can’t do it. I have issues with things anywhere near my belly button. I’ll be wearing Lucky L’il Maggies till I’m 80. (I realize that’s gross.)
3. My toilet looks exactly the same way.

Amy September 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Marlee September 29, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Out of all of them, I like those Gap High Rise the best. I would look like a total shame factory in the BDG High Rise, since my waist, love handles, and hips all come together to form a perfect beachball shape. I tried to catch the skinnies once by cheating and buying a pair of Spanx. Horrible (and expensive) mistake. Diarrhea pains and near-suffocation death due to inability to breathe. Then again, I bought the Spanx that look like a kid’s one-piece swim team bathing suit, so maybe I asked for it. Plus, it hooks together at the vag, and let me tell you, that shit hurts.

Stacy September 29, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I really like the last pair of jeans! cute. The only thing that got me back in my pre-preg low waisters was 5-6 days of working out a week with marathon training. It’s hard work. I should have just ordered a new pair of jeans……..

Maya September 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm

I know I’m late to the suggestion party, but I love my Calvin Klein skinny fit straight leg jeans, which I bought once I finally lost the baby weight after my 1st kid. I’ve been secretly appreciating the tummy squeeze of high jeans for some time now. But now that my fashionable MODG friends are endorsing it, I no longer need to feel sheepish about it! Hooray!

and ps, I love the diva cup and *can*not*wait* to hear your review! I never had any slippage issues, but don’t wear white pants, just to be safe.

kelsea September 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I keep buying jeans from the line Rich & Skinny for two reasons:
1. I hope that if I continue to buy them, I will become either rich, or skinny. or both… (i’ll keep you posted)
2. the jeans are awesome. The waistband is lined with silk (comfy) and they are extremely well-made, as in they don’t become baggy like J’Nco’s after 10 minutes. I adore them and have so many styles and colors. I particularly love mine like these:

http://www.richandskinnyjeans.com/Hi_Rise_Flare__Shadows/pd/np/21/p/1288.html

You’re welcome.

OurGrowingGarden September 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I beyond hate jeans. They are tight and most uncomfortable. and I can’t bend. When I am forced to wear them for public occasions (I live in sweats at home. I don’t care) I wear these because they tuck all my fats in too.

OurGrowingGarden September 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I did top 8 free for 5 months and gained 15 pounds. It totally changes your metabolism when all you can eat are rice and corn chips.

ElsMom September 29, 2011 at 4:54 pm

I didnt have time to read comments yet so if I am repeating anyone else sorry!

A) you are a nut!
B) flood pants brought out the first lmao
C) mom jeans suck, dresses and leggings rock
D) you are a GD hippy! I can’t believe you are going to try the cup! In public?
E). What is up – in the details of diva cup it says “serving size”!

Melissa September 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

My faves are the 7s Ginger. But I have to say that my favorite jeans are Guess. I have (ridiculously!) big hips -which I love, but that’s me- and Guess fits them wonderfully. They don’t look exaggerated, nor big. It’s a right fit. So I’ll recommend that. Also, my first high waisties were Calvin Klein, perfection!

Read a few comments, so let me add myself to the ‘please do a Diva Cup review!!’ list.

Janet September 29, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Yeah, I need to figure out my jeans situation. Since my daughter was born 6 months ago, I’ve pretty much been wearing only J Crew jersey dresses every single day. I’m not sure how to dress now that my stomach is not completely flat anymore. High waisted jeans are a great idea.

Anna September 29, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Just got the Old Navy skinnies but boot cut (low waisted but awesome looking) and their high wasted retro (sold out in the best color) both are awesome and very cheap. Since I am 5 months post-baby and still under the delusion that I will be back in my pre-pregnancy expesnsive jeans at some point these both rock.

Thereset September 29, 2011 at 7:35 pm

MODG- you walked yourself right into having to review the diva cup. Bet you didn’t think that’s where your blog would take you? Hehe :)

Sarah September 29, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Love the BDG High Rise jeans on you! You look awesome in them!!
PS I’ve always wanted to try the Diva Cup….Please do a review!!

Holly September 30, 2011 at 12:29 am

I realize you are no longer requesting advice on jeans or shoes, but I saw these and thought of your quest for cute shoes in the winter: http://www.zappos.com/nine-west-bevel-medium-brown-leather. I also realize they are not a wedge, but they aren’t open-toe either!

tamar September 30, 2011 at 8:36 am

I actually think you look cute in all the jeans and I think you should check out Ann Taylor Loft… I know I know but shit in there is starting to get cute.

Lisa September 30, 2011 at 9:05 am

BDG High Rise are making a miracles. I discovered this kind of trick about week ago, so guess which are my favorite clothes now? Right, high jeans/leggings and long t-shirt or sweater.

Julie September 30, 2011 at 10:10 am

Normally, I wouldn’t recommend $200 jeans to most people, but since I know you are a girl who totally appreciates expensive jeans, I would definitely recommend the J Brand Love Story (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/j-brand-love-story-bellbottom-stretch-jeans/3115973?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_ite=j_brand_'love_story'_bellbottom_stretch_jeans:313574&cm_pla=bottoms:women:pant&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:referralID=NA&mr:trackingCode=C809A0C1-75A1-DF11-904F-002219319097)

You will look so skinny you won’t even believe it.

kelly @Dare to be Domestic September 30, 2011 at 11:25 am

I wasn’t convinced that you were full on hippie… but then you brought out TOMS and then the cup! I want a full review on the cup when you “tinker” with it.

You really do look fab in the jeans you’ve picked and you nailed the issue w/ leg length.. I have to buy jeans in long AND regular for this purpose! I wish I could look like I had a cause of the skinnies w/ sliming jeans but they just make me look like a tube of toothpaste that was squeezed too hard!

Keep fighting the power girl!

Kelly @Dare to be Domestic September 30, 2011 at 11:26 am

and I say HIPPIE like it’s a good thing – because it is! ox

Paula @ thewilyweez September 30, 2011 at 2:56 pm

I like the 2nd pair of jeans pictured, they are really cute, but who wants to iron jeans…I hate to get pants hemmed so I buy this stuff that you can iron onto the bottom of pants that hems them without sewing I think it’s called stitch witchery…or something like that. My son is 7 months and I am just now starting to fit into my jeans again, but there are lumps and bumps everywhere, but he was sooo worth it. :)

Lindsay September 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

The Limited- High Waist Flare Jean: http://www.thelimited.com/detail/high-rise-flare-jean/8513079

And I don’t even have babies yet. Just an advocate for less muffin top in the world.

PS: Go State ;)

colleen September 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm

the last pair for sure. you rocked my face off with them.

Marci October 1, 2011 at 2:48 am

i need me some high waisted jeans asap.
Oh Diva Cup (aka the Vagina Shot Glass at my house) it’s really is great though!

Kate October 1, 2011 at 8:20 am

Could you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE try pajama jeans????

Anna October 1, 2011 at 12:59 pm

second that

Jenny B October 1, 2011 at 10:49 am

Try the old navy rockstar jeggings before they are all gone. They are like skinny jeans (promise) but more comfortable. As someone who is not thin, but not huge, the shocking thing is that these really do make you look the best. No matter what, the wide legs kind of make you look wide… and by you, I don’t mean you, but they make ONE look wide. Seriously, order some rockstars STAT. they’re cheap, too.

Chunky Monkey October 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm

I totally agree about how dumb it is that jeans somehow are always known as the comfy casual thing to wear. They are never comfortable and the gashes they put on my stomach after sitting to long is GOD AWFUL! I’d rather wear work dress pants! Is it ok to just wear maternity jeans even though I have never been pregs??? They make some bad ass preg jeans these days,

JJ
http://thirty-going-on-eighteen.blogspot.com/

jenny P October 1, 2011 at 10:08 pm

The jeans you have look really cute but if you want to try a comfortable pair with great stretch you should try Silvers. They are really comfortable and make it easy to run around with a 10 month old. If you have a Buckle store in a mall they have all kinds there.

Krista October 1, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I just spent the last twenty minutes reading the comments here and the reviews of the Diva Cup on Amazon and am about 2.5 seconds away from ordering one…with any luck it could arrive before my next period. I shared all of this with my husband and he is pretty grossed out, but I think I won him over when I said we would never again have to worry about the dog getting into the trash and pulling out all of the used tampons. My dog is gross when it comes to stuff like that – one time I actually had to pull a tampon out of her ass by the string. Anything that helps avoid ever having to do that again is a winner.

Owen's milf October 2, 2011 at 5:54 am

So, as I sit here at 4:44 am breastfeeding my little man (sorry in advance for shitty grammar and spelling, I’m one-hand typing on my phone) – thought I’d join in the fun. Love the review – but found some goodies at the gap the other day you might want to try as well. 1969 long and lean mid-rise flares. They are pretty freaking awesome. They come in lengths – so no hemming required. I’m uber short and the ankle length are perfection with flats. They’re not hi-rise, but go up pretty high, enough to cover up the front butt region. I got themreally dark ones, bummer is they show lint though. Oh! And they’re stretch, which is a huge plus – allows the new thunder thighs and ass to breathe. These are my first pair of post-preg jeans, couldnt bear the maternity pants any longer – and im really happy with them. I totslly feel lime the MILF i was meant to bbe. Enjoy!

Krista October 2, 2011 at 9:59 am

I’ve always been a fan of Gap’s long and lean, mostly because of the length (I’m 5’9″ and their longs are usually perfect). In the past the one thing I haven’t loved is how high the rise is – not super high, but good if you are trying to cover up a little tummy. They definitely stretch a lot, so keep that in mind. They are one of those jeans that you want to just barely be able to button when you first put them on.

crazypants October 3, 2011 at 7:56 am

I would like you to be my waitress at Denny’s. If I ever ate at one… which I do not. But I still love me some MODG.

Carry on.

Megs October 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

I just tried on the Eva skinny jeans at Express and almost died. They are amazing. They hide the vagina hat and make your butt look awesome. I would have bought a dozen pairs, but they don’t carry zero short in the store, and are currently sold out online. What the eff?? Being 5’2″ sucks.
I’m so glad that mid rise jeans are cool now. I was getting sick of trying to find jeans that didn’t show my ass crack to the whole world every time I sat down. I felt so old shopping in the Buckle last spring, where those stupid high school girls would ask if they could help me find anything and I would respond, “yes, I need a pair of jeans that doesn’t show my butt crack and isn’t full of holes.” They would always look so bewildered and wander off saying they would see what they could find. I’m only 30 and have one kid, but man, did that always make me feel like a grandma.

Christina October 4, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Yoga pants (wide leg/boot cut) are totally legit pants. I wear them 24/7 unless I have to go out in public (read church/kids schools/mall) and as soon as I’m back home off come the jeans/maxi dress and on go the yoga pants..and sad confession: I don’t do yoga… never even been to a studio. But I do NOT mind that people at the grocery store might think I do yoga instead of them knowing I’m just lazy.

Rachael Anne October 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm

My husband just walked in the room, asked me what I was starring at “that way” and never heard him because I was starring at the comments and the Amazon page for the Diva Cup. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? It has 4.5 stars with over 300 comments- that is f-ing insane. Additionally, I was totally sucked in when I noticed they’re labeled pre and post childbirth. As someone still considering the birthing process and it’s effects on my life I need someone to spell that shit out for me. Seriously…someone help me out.

I love you but I don’t love those TOMS.

britney October 12, 2011 at 10:37 am

MODG,
have you tried the diva cup yet? this may be a bit too personal, but do you like it?
britney

Debbie October 20, 2011 at 10:41 pm

I just think it’s hilarious that you also stand on your toilet to use it as a full length mirror! I am too lazy and too cheap (now that we have 2 girls) to go buy a $9 full length mirror. haha Who needs it when I can stand on the toilet!

Stephanie October 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

MODG – I’m a mommy of two and I’m a jean freak. You’ve got to try the AG Stevies (skinny). I’m 5’2″ so you don’t have to have the ankle version hemmed if you’re a shorty. And for a great flare bootcut style, Joe’s Jeans Visionaires are INCREDIBLE! Promise no muffin top, no bunt and no bowel movement tantalizer feeling from these!

Britt November 21, 2011 at 3:03 am

Love the jeans! Are they uncomfortable what with the waist being so high? Not so keen on the wedges simply because they are not my style but you rock em. (especially in the lavender towel.) Just wanted to say (late) that this made me giggle. (<– yes I said giggle, no I'm not twelve.) Keep rockin it.

franksmom December 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Hi! I need some jeans pronto before a trip and have a HUGE belly after my 10 bundle arrived almost 6 mo ago (so much for bf getting rid of it all!) I love the jeans in the last pic –mid/high rise -wide leg. Where are they from? Maybe those will work for me in a big(ger) size
BTW –hilarious blog.
k_becker2@yahoo.com

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