B was away for 24 hours. In life, 24 hours isn’t that much time. It’s only 24 episodes of Vampire Diaries. But in take care of your baby time, IT’S A GODDAMN LIFETIME. I now can’t use all of my limbs properly and I have wounds rivaling a zombie victim. I have diarrhea pains with nothing to show for it and I think the hairs on my face grew double time last night. Needless to say, I’m a waste of skin today. So this post is dedicated to the single parents out there. I told B that he could probably beat me in the face and I would stick around just for the help. I don’t know how you singles do it.
PROPS SINGLE PARENTS.
(people don’t say “props” anymore, do they? Whatever. Everyone can bite me)
Here’s what you’re missing:
An update on my BAD ASS shams and a shout out to bad ass babies. People don’t say “shout out” anymore either, do they? Whatever.
G thinks this whole “sports” thing is just as funny as I do.
Incredibly helpful links from readers that change days, if not lives.
I bet you didn’t know that I was a champion cucumber farmer. YOU DID IF YOU ARE MY FACEBOOK FAN.
Some idiot out there is trying to make the vagina shorts look like an on-purpose non mistake.
And also immense opportunities to spend your money in a wise fashion during these economic times.
And this is all just from this week.
HAVE I CONVINCED YOU YET? Do you want your life to be better? Do you want to save baby penguins? Do you want to find a pile of sexy princes and marry them all? Then join the facebook team.
Your mom already did.
Back to my wine, advil and Most Eligible Dallas.
I bet you didn’t think I could find one more way to link to it did you.