Hello again food, you dirty dirty lady.

Today is a big day. Well I guess yesterday was THE big day. But today is sort of large-ish too.

Some of you who are new here may not know that I had a very difficult time with my diet as G was breastfeeding. G was a fart rocket and I was advised to cut out dairy. When that didn’t work I was advised to cut out soy also. (ps soy is in everything, like the air and rainbows and reality tv). When that didn’t work I was like F this, I’m cutting out everything until I figure out what the hell it is. This seems drastic, but what was drastic was the screaming from my little blob 25 hours a day. I would have eaten only crickets if that would have made him feel better.

Eating turkey and rice for 30 days makes you want to choke bunnies. So I started seeing a counselor for my bunny choking behaviors. Then we got thrush. I KNOW. I went back and forth between eating foods and sleep. I was not allowed to have both. If I ate foods, G was up all night screaming and farting. If I starved, I could sleep. At this point I was depressed and on a fair amount of zoloft. At my craziest, I tried to implement a diet of bone marrow soup. Don’t get me started. And although I puked my guts out, I realized something on that diet. I wasn’t drinking enough water in my life. I upped my water intake and we had significantly less gas and more sleeps. HEAVENS. G however still had really really bad eczema. After going to an ultra hippie naturopath, we determined that I had to stay off of gluten.  So I decided to stay off of gluten, soy and dairy indefinitely. We had finally found peace in our house with our happy non sick baby and I would do anything to keep it that way.

I stayed off of gluten, soy and dairy for 7 months.

Today, is a new day. Because today….


I can’t remember a time that I couldn’t just eat some of the foods. I can now eat ALL of the foods. And you can see by my sophisticated palate, that you’ll soon be referring to me as that fat girl with a blog. WHICH I’M FINE WITH.  Also it’s interesting that I’m craving mostly round foods. I never thought of myself as a shape-ist.

I slowly introduced new foods into my diet and watched G like a Britney stalker. And now I can safely say, I’m a regular strength eater again. Ok I’ll be extra strength for a week. But whatever. After that it’s back to nuts and twigs. Kill me.

Here is the takeaway that I’d like other moms to gain from my experience with food sensitivity and breastfeeding. If you have a gassy ass baby, your pediatrician will first tell you to cut out dairy. That should not be your first plan of attack. TRY EVERYTHING ELSE BEFORE YOU F WITH YOUR DIET. Because let’s say you take out dairy and he stops farting. You’ll be like OK that was it. And you won’t eat dairy for a year. When in reality, it could have been those leather chaps you squeezed him into that day for that picture with the cats. Not that I know anything about that.

First see if you are an overproducer and find a lactation consultant who you trust (every week there are at least 3 overproducers in our breastfeeding group…it’s common). Second, drink a lot of water. Don’t drown yourself in it, but be very hydrated. Third, don’t take anyone’s advice as bible. Breastfeeding is just something that we don’t know a TON about. So get many opinions. I truly don’t know if any of these foods actually caused any problems with G. But I do know that I was too terrified to find out. We went through such a hard time that I was scared to change one little tiny dot of our routine. I just didn’t want that hell to re-emerge.

But I really feel like I’ve made it through a war. It was THE HARDEST time of my life and we  have made it through. We are still breastfeeding and I’m so happy that we did it.


Ok people. I have ONE week** of eating whatever I want, as much as I want, in any place or time that I want. Give me your worst. WHAT SHOULD I EAT?




**One week is my “i probably won’t get obese fat but probably pretty chunky and I’ll probably be able to undo the damage” time frame

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POSTED IN: babies,breastfeeding,Eating Innapropriately


britt August 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I have no suggestions on eating but I have a question. Are you thinking about having another baby? I had a heck of a time with mine who is now 11 months and I am very done with having kids. It wasn’t nearly as bad as your experience so I can’t help but wonder if you are done too. If you are, we can start an only child club. I am taking applications. So far its just me and my daughter.

MODG August 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Yes we will have another. probably in about a year or so.

demi August 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm

exciting!! the ever expanding modg family. hearts!!!

Bree August 18, 2011 at 8:08 pm

MODG, we started trying for number 2 when my first was 15 months old…it has been an amazing age difference!!!

Heather August 19, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Wow – your story sounds EXACTLY like mine! Except we temporarily – and reluctantly – put our little guy on a hypoallergenic formula to see if his issues cleared up; it was such a stressful time. For him, it was gas and small specks of blood. After cutting out dairy, the gas improved but the blood continued. I cut out every major allergen and was still finding it. After a few weeks on the formula, it cleared up and we went back to BF. Now I am slowly adding things back into my diet, and so far, no more blood…I have a feeeling it was dairy and hidden dairy all along, as well as an oversupply issue (I pump up to 13 oz. in the morning after about 9 hours of sleep). SO, as a someone who has gone through something almost identical, I suggest – and look forward to myself – eating PIZZA! Every kind, every topping, and from all of the surrounding pizza restaurants. I live in CT, and Italian restaurants are on every corner; I plan to visit all of them when I get back on dairy someday! Glad to hear that things have improved for you; and congrats on sticking to BF; I know how hard it is, but so worth it in the end :)

Rachel @Running Backwards in High Heels August 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Umm.. ice cream. Lots of ice cream. Covered in chocolate sauce. And a doughnut. And cinnamon rolls. And Cheese dip. And coffee with real creamer. Clearly, I have had a baby who had a milk protein allergy and I had to cut all that shit out too.

MargaretClifford August 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm

you should go directly to The Olive Garden because they are running their never-ending pasta bowl special. enjoy. and make sure you get an extra boat of alfredo sauce to dip your breadsticks in. :)

MODG August 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm

F that sounds extra dirty and good

Rach August 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

OMG YESSSSSSss.. the sidecar of alfredo sauce is for real. I would slather it on like lotion if I could be trusted with the stuff (which is clearly why I cannot be).

megan u. August 18, 2011 at 5:26 pm

oh my geee bread sticks, bread sticks and mooooore bread sticks!!!

Rebecca August 18, 2011 at 6:19 pm

oh jesus i went for the never-ending pasta bowl when i was preg and i out-ate my husband. for reals:

HotMessJess August 18, 2011 at 11:05 pm

hey I know you! MODG junkies untie! ; )
I’d be hittin’ the brownies hard… shit I’ll whip up a batch in your honor.

Jill August 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Are you familiar with the French-Canadian delicacy called “poutine”? French fries topped with cheese curds or shredded mozzarella, then smothered in gravy. It’s delicious. And very good with cheeseburgers. Or with anything, really.

Beth S August 18, 2011 at 6:06 pm

In Jersey, we call those Disco Fries.

Beth S August 18, 2011 at 6:10 pm

In Jersey we call those Disco Fries. And they are hearts and sparkles good.

demi August 18, 2011 at 4:21 pm

i would start with chicken nuggets and honey. then move on to some fried chicken. and OH maybe ramen noodles and cheezeits?? (my fave)!! And every pasta under the sun. With alot of nuts.(that’s what she said). like cashews and popcorn (is that a nut? whatev), and peanuts. shit you’d find in a bar ashtray. and tons and tons of BREAD. with nutella. dip everything in nutella. shit-my mouth is watering. have fun!! xoxo

xxcaityx August 18, 2011 at 4:23 pm

A big fat latte/mocha with lots of whipped cream; and an extra shot. Followed by if not accompanied by a cheeseburger… a really good one; like diner style with lots of stuff loaded on it. Then chips and salsa con queso–a lot of it. Then something sweet, like a piece of pie with a scoop of ice cream on top, and warm cookies on the side.

Most importantly, eat a lot of twizzlers. 3 days ago was my 2nd wedding anniversary and my husband bought me THE FAMILY SIZE bag of twizzlers, which was weird, because I just had bought the normal sized one earlier that day. Both bags are gone. I put one in the fridge, they’re super delish when they’re cold.

mODG August 18, 2011 at 7:44 pm

yes i need to go to a diner. immed.

Beckles August 19, 2011 at 7:40 am

Go to Collegeville and get the chocolate chip pancakes deluxe-because then you get eggs and some kind of meat with it too. (I used to be kind of fat.)

Stef August 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm

and while at the Olive Garden also get the cheese ravioli in alfredo sauce. Probably my most fat-tastic food choice ever. LOVE at first bite for me! Also I think it’s best that you also eat dangerous amounts of samoa cookies.

Ells August 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I was going to refer you to the best website ever – thisiswhyyourefat.com – but it seems to have come down! No more pizzas made entirely out of twinkies! No more deep fried bacon balls stuffed inside meatballs and topped with gravy! No more pies baked INTO cakes! No more bacon-wrapped bacon!

Unless I just can’t find it? I was about to save the day.

Anyway, something stuffed inside something else, that’s for sure.

Jess August 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Best of both worlds: something salty and greasy like fresh hot cheese curds (Hey-I’m from Wisconsin!) and something sweet like chocolate chip brownies with chocolate frosting! Mmm!
And I guess you make me feel lucky to have such an easy going BFing baby myself… congrats on getting to eat whatever you want!

Leah August 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Those cinnamon rolls are looking soooo good. And pizza, of course, lots and lots of pizza. Warm brownies covered in ice cream and topped with chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Mmm… I am making myself super hungry. I’m not sure about Jill’s poutine, but chili cheese fries would be awesome. Oh, and a huge plate of nachos. I need to stop now.

g-unit August 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Movie popcorn, CANDY, Trolli gummi worms (the BEST), Dots, Milky Ways, tiramisu, Twix, Klondike bar, State Fair corn dog, Papa John’s or other cheesy and delicious pizza (dipped in that oh-so-bad-but-oh-so-good garlic butter sauce), Nachos Grande at Chevy’s Fresh Mex

I really could go on forever. YAY for you!

Sara August 18, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Time to gorge on the International Crepe Passport at iHop! Scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, sausage, and TWO nutella, banana and strawberry crepes.
Holy mouth watering batman!

mODG August 18, 2011 at 7:45 pm


DoMo August 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm

That is awesome news, MODG :)
Brownies w/ melty choc chips inside. Everything bagel w/ cream cheese. Jamocha shake. Sushi. Almond pound cake. Waffles. Panera’s Sausage, Egg & Cheese breakfast sandwich.

Rach August 18, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Chicken wings/fingers/nuggets… or all three. And every freaking dipping sauce you can get your hands on. Go slumming with the awesomeness of McNuggets (which are known in my family as BugNuggets because my sister and I couldn’t say it properly when we were little)… but also get GOOD chicken fingers.

Donuts. My leanings go toward Krispy Kreme, but to each her own…
Potato chips in all styles and flavors!! Cheddar & sour cream, NOM!!!
Giant bagels with whatever schmear you prefer…
the Chicken Tortilla Soup at Max & Erma’s… I steer clear of most chains, but DAMN, that stuff is like Kryptonite for me

PS? I am eternally grateful for this particular post… just rekindled a “healthy eating lifestyle” program this week and this is a very-much-needed food porn fix. (I’m trying to be good, though, because OH MY GOD what if I *do* win that Britney backup dancer spot!?!)

Kelly August 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm

I’d be stuffing my face with a full pan of brownies and a huge glass of milk immediately.

I can’t imagine doing the things you’ve done with your diet, Britney would be envious.

Danielle August 18, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I fully support your food binge, but from experience, try to work in some water and some veggies in there. Otherwise you will feel awful {awfuller?} when you are done. Trust. I have been there and done that.

Buffalo Wings {boneless with lotso ranch}
anything that has frosting,
or just plain frosting!

Have fun :)

Stacy August 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I vote donuts, cinnamon rolls any kind of rolls for that matter. AND CAKE.

PS- Why can you eat all of this for only a week? Did you leave G for a vacay w B? Did I miss something???

mODG August 18, 2011 at 7:46 pm

i’m only allowing myself one week of sickness before i would get beastly fat

SSI August 18, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Why are you just binging for a week? Obviously a full blown binge can’t go on for more than that, but I’m just curious why this is happening for a week?

Marisa August 18, 2011 at 4:49 pm

I can send you fried butter on a stick from the Iowa State Fair if you’re interested…..

colleen August 18, 2011 at 4:49 pm

wow. welcome back to the living. enjoy tons of mcdonald’s ice cream. it’s one buck a cone, and it’s one hundred calories, and it tastes like heaven. cheap. few calories. delicious. do it.

Holly August 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

As a Canadian who gets it pretty often believe me, try the poutine! omfg soooo good!! Also cheeseburgers, milkshakes, lasagnas, pizza( papa Murphy in the states? if so they have a stuffed pizza that is wicked!) ,cold stone ice cream,chocolates and candies!

kiera August 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

bacon pizza dipped in ranch. with chocolate covered pretzels for dessert.

erin August 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm

screw the food – binge on booze! start with a tasty beer – something IPA’ish, hoppy and lovely. then proceed to enjoy some sort of summery cocktail goodness – vodka gimlet? mojito? something gin-y. and then cap off the adventure with a really good bourbon, on the rocks. yum. can you tell I’m 38 weeks pregnant and can’t WAIT for my first cocktail post birth…all in moderation of course, but a girl can dream….

Domesticated Gal August 18, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Pioneer Woman’s Maple-Iced Cinnamon Rolls.
And fried oreos.
Or Orange Balls. Not fried.

And if you don’t know what orange balls are? Ask me and I’ll give you the keys to fat people’s heaven.

And I so feel you on the diet. I ate nothing but oatmeal for a week straight when the Little Man was born, and then said screw it – the little babies in Mexico deal with their mothers eating jalapenos all day, why can’t my kid handle a piece of chocolate? And then I didn’t sleep for 4 months….

mODG August 18, 2011 at 7:47 pm

bah, your jalapeno rationale makes me pee.

also i want to know what orange balls are and i will look up the cinnamon roll recipe

Katina August 18, 2011 at 5:00 pm


Nicole August 18, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I’m currently breastfeeding a reflux baby – so no dairy, strong flavored foods like onion and garlic, citrus, no coffee, no anything good. I can’t wait for my “hooray I can stuff my face with anything I want” week!!!

Sara August 18, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Yay for you!!
And Oh holy hell – I’m going through this right now. I’ve cut out dairy, but he still squirms and kicks those legs and farts like no other. Lots of gurgling too. In fact, I have him sleeping in the nap nanny at night to elevate him so he doesn’t spew after eating. If he’s not spitting up then he’s farting like an old man. It’s crazy!

mODG August 18, 2011 at 7:48 pm

i’m telling you UP YOUR WATER INTAKE

you will thank me

Christi August 18, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Newborns are extremely gassy. Extremely. Are you guys bicycling legs? That helps work out the farts. It gets better, hang in there!

Amy August 18, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant, so my cravings come and go with the wind. But I just got off the phone with my fiance, who decided it was very exciting and important to call me at work and tell me that he just received a fresh slab of raw sushi-grade black-fin tuna, caught at 7pm last night to munch on tonight. I immediately called him a few of my favorite obscene words and told him to shove his tuna where the sun doesn’t shine. So I suggest, for your good and for mine, you eat some frickin’ raw, mercury-filled sushi!

josie August 19, 2011 at 12:11 pm

tuna just one time might be okay –no?

Amy August 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I’ll admit, I’ve dabbled in the raw, mercury-filled goodness a few times during this pregnancy. But not like I would like to. I need a spicy tuna roll and some tuna tartare to even start to fulfill the level of tuna-emptiness I’ve been feeling in my life the past 8 months.

Erica August 18, 2011 at 5:09 pm

One week? Wait until next Thursday, fly to MN, and spend a weekend at the Minnesota State Fair. You will be able to find everything you could ever possibly want to eat and MORE in ONE PLACE! Check out the food finder: http://www.mnstatefair.org/find/food/

I seriously diet all year round just so that I can spend a day at the fair and gorge myself.

Sarah August 18, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I CAN’T WAIT! AHHHHHHHH! The turkey sandwiches by the fresh milk are my weakness. So good you could eat like six of them in one day… (not that I would know anything about that………….) Oh and Sweet Martha already has a bucket of cookies with my name on it.

moDG August 18, 2011 at 8:05 pm

f my life. i need to get to minnesota. You think the state would send me there or something. rude.

Rach August 18, 2011 at 10:45 pm

SWEET MOTHER OF CELLULITE. I browsed a couple of those pages (there are 21 of them btw. 21!!) and I think my first stops would be Big Fat Bacon and Preferred Pickle… bacon for obvious reasons, and the pickle stand for the comedy.

Does “Preferred Pickle” sound mildly dirty to anyone else? Apparently I have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old boy…

Megs August 19, 2011 at 9:43 am

Good god, we live for the MN State Fair! I will be there a week from Sunday stuffing my face with Nutella crepes and Sweet Marthas, camped out at the all you can drink milk stand. I also had to quit dairy (that’s actually how I discovered MODG, consulting Dr. Google on going dairy free) and only recently was able to reintroduce milk back into my diet.

Also? Magnum ice cream bars. Like a Dove bar but a a thousand times better. I got hooked on them years ago while studying in Poland. I found out they started selling them in the States while on my no dairy diet. Talk about torture.

NSC August 19, 2011 at 10:54 am

OMG…you should totally come to MN for the fair. Deep Fried Twinkies. ( ! )

Also, I did the gluten free thing briefly. Made my stomach hurt. I think the thing I missed the most was…everything.
Just go get some of everything. Swear. I also have the BEST RECIPE ON EARTH for caramel pull apart rolls. I ate a full bread loaf equivalent of the rolls last time I made them. Now I know why my mom only made them on Christmas.

Shannon August 18, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Mac & cheese!!! Gooey gooey goodness. If I had to be on turkey and rice for that long, I might just swim in mac & cheese.

megan u. August 18, 2011 at 5:31 pm

i agree whole heartedly with this, i need someone to fill my pool pronto…..mmmmmm mac & cheese

ElsMom August 18, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Today is my last/only day without my daughter. She is with Grandma until tomorrow, school starts next week. I came home from work, opened a bag of chips and a beer and am sitting on my deck reading MODG and laughing without having to explain to my daughter why. (leather chaps for a picture with cats! Who thinks of this shit?) next up? Another beer! Liquid dinner for the first time in 7 years!

Congrats on your binge and enjoy!

Caroline August 18, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I will take a chick sand with a side of double cheese whooper french fries and choc milk shake for fry dipping.

moDG August 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm

you just reminded me

wendy’s frosting with dipping fries.

Alicia August 18, 2011 at 5:12 pm

First off, Congratulations mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should be very proud of yourself!! I know breast feeding isn’t for everyone, but it is amazing what you can do when you set your mind to do it (paired with amaze support). I was a college fun gal myself (once upon a time) and nursed my first until she was 1 yr. I am also a crazy over producer. Holy boob juice coming from everywhere… I think it was dripping from my eye balls. It was rough at times being a hippie-do-the-best-you-can mommy, but I didn’t have nearly the bad experiences you did other than crazy full tots.

However…my second (who is now nearly 8 mths) is what I’d like to call a TIT BABY. She is AWFUL at taking the bottle (trust me, we’ve tried em all)…and she is a chunk that despises baby food (it shows her in massive thigh chunk and chipmunk cheeks). I had mastitis, thrush…you name it with that little bugger. Through the excruciating pain and the tears…we persevered with no formula being supplemented and it is so worth it. She is healthy, chubby and as of last night….FINALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! Hello, sleep. Oh how I’ve missed you. But WAIT. Now I have crazy full tots in the am until my body figures this ish out….oh the joys of breastfeeding…

Everyone’s experiences are different, so support and education are key. Get the help and resources you need to keep you from falling off the deep end. Thanks for sharing your story.

Again, congrats to you and go CrAzY with some carbs and OG as others are suggesting. You deserve it!

Why are you able to take a week off?

Karyn August 18, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Hi there!

A friend of mine passed along this post to me and I am eager to read the rest of your blog. I swear, I could have written this post myself (without the funny humor, of course)! I am in the midst of some serious GI shit with my 3 1/2 month old. We are seeing a specialist tomorrow who will say it’s reflux and allergies, I’m sure but I’m at my wits end. I have cut out everything as well. Did the TED 2 weeks ago and I had a perfect little angel…I add back in a carrot and he is a terror again. I’m going to read but did your little guy have issues nursing or just the stomach issues? My baby has problems with both. When he’s not feeling well, he fights me all.the.time nursing. When I was starving, he nursed every 3 hours like clockwork. Ughhh! It’s so frustrating! I have thought I’m going bonkers as well. It’s just so all consuming!

Thank you for this post, if anything. It makes me feel like my guy isn’t doomed or a freak of nature or something!

modG August 18, 2011 at 8:10 pm

don’t let them put your baby on reflux meds unless they are a million percent sure he needs them. There are a few studies that say they make allergy babies worse.

I was in the same place as you. I’d add ONE food back in and it would be terrible. Try this, for a few days, drink more water than you think you can handle and eat fairly normally. Don’t eat the warning foods like dairy, soy, etc. But eat carrots, and normal things. See if that helps.

You could have overproduction too. Has your baby gained weight really quickly? Sometimes they get so much formilk that they are still hungry right away for more and it hurts their tummies

Bree August 18, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Hey, I am in no way disagreeing with what you say MODG because i agree with you! But we decided to go ahead and put our son on reflux meds (only after trying every other option and coming up with nothing) and they did work wonders. I know there are studies that say they can make the allergies worse but there are also studies disproving that. I think meds are always a last resort but sometimes there is no way around them. I am only butting in because I know it is scary when you hear about possible side effects and I wanted to offer at least one situation where we had to go with the last resort and it worked out amazingly. Just do your research and don’t let anyone make the decision for you! Good Luck!

Krista August 19, 2011 at 1:37 am

I wish someone had talked to me about too much formilk when my son was little. I was choking him from all the milk I was producing (the rationale from the lactation consultant was that I was producing for a 12 month old since I breastfed my daughter for a year and they are only 22 months apart). I was too selfish to seriously cut anything out, but did try dairy for a little and nothing changed with his fussiness. Eventually he went on reflux meds and things got better. He’s 7 months now, off the meds and doing great. The ironic thing is now my production is way down and he screams at me if he isn’t immediately getting sprayed in the face. Like he’s too good to have to work to get it to let down. Yay for breast pumps, Fenugreek, dark beer, water and his impatient ass loving bottles.

Renee August 18, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Lucky. Charms.

Jilly- J's Mom August 18, 2011 at 8:47 pm

pshh but that would be like a down-grade from Cereal Marshmallows! She’s already all over that shit.

Kat August 18, 2011 at 5:58 pm

I’m totally on the no dairy/wheat/soy/chocolate/caffeine diet for breastfeeding and I constantly fantasize about what I’m going to eat when my magical day comes along (my son is only 4 months). On my list is pizza, cup cakes, chicken parm, whole milk mocha lattes ( yes multiple! I’m from Seattle), cheeseburgers, cookie dough ice cream, or perhaps just cookie dough, brownies and a three layer chocolate cake (so I can eat it all week long for breakfast)

Heather August 18, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Ohh, I replied before reading everyone else’s replies. I want a latte soooooooo badly!

ang August 18, 2011 at 6:18 pm

i would eat the following…
1. funnel cake
2. homemade popcorn with a bottle of “movie theatre butter” from kernal season’s
3. a fried twinkie from the chip shop in brooklyn
4. warm krispie kreme donuts
5. one of those fat kid sandwiches from rutgers with fries on it…

yeah…so that’s what i would do. 0__o

Dara August 18, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Oooh what fun! Aren’t you near Philly? If so, a chicken cheesesteak from Delessandros in the northwest (best everrr). LOTS OF PIZZA. Banana walnut pancakes with butter and syrup. Cupcakes with names you can barely keep up with. Snickers ice cream bars. Cheese fries. Strawberries dipped in hot fudge. Soft pretzels with spicy mistard. Milkshakes.

Wow I feel fat.

ModG August 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm

serious respect with the delassandros reference.

Amanda August 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm

who cares what you eat. Just dip everything in Nutella!

Lluvia August 18, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I just had to pieces of french bread with that! Yum!

Christi August 18, 2011 at 10:48 pm

My love of Nutella borders on psychotic. And I JUST started eating it in the past year. I’m making up for the lost 33 years of not eating it. It is the greatest thing on earth.

Lluvia August 18, 2011 at 6:44 pm

ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!

Vanessa August 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Damn. I have a 4 month old with a dairy intolerance (for reals, I had it as a baby, too — luckily he’s okay with soy and gluten so I can eat, you know, BREAD) and I am literally salivating reading these comments. Swimming in alfredo sauce sounds so great right now, but I have to LOVE MY BABY or whatever and the pediatrician’s telling me I should avoid every kind of dairy until he’s at least 6 months old and then I can try reintroducing things with 0000001% dairy ingredients and work up from there. Since I can’t drown myself in ice cream, I will just live vicariously through you.

Emily August 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Chocolate chip cookie dough. Hands down.

Jamers13 August 18, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Funnel cake for sure… it’s fair season so go there and find all the fresh cut fries and funnel cake to enjoy. Then I would go for brownies and ice cream…. yummo

As for OG never ending pasta is delicious and so is their chicken carbonara… lots of fatty heavy whipping cream all in that bitch… along with some bacon, yep definitely hungry now :)

Norma August 18, 2011 at 7:57 pm

oooo….double bacon cheeseburger with curly fries! add a beer and mozzarella sticks, plus donuts for good measure.

Lisa August 19, 2011 at 9:03 am

Kill 2 birds with 1 stone – cut the donut in half and use it as the doublecheeseburger bun.

sarah August 18, 2011 at 7:59 pm

I love foods.

Molly August 18, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Boobfeeding makes me hungry. All the time.

Bree August 18, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Velveeta shells and cheese, reese’s peanut butter cups, mcdonald’s anything, chips and dip, little debbies brownies, and fried mushrooms!

I also have to tell you after spending a week reading your blog (especially your food drama) I have decided to go back to school and be a lactation consultant. I had a horrible breastfeeding experience as well and my lactation consultants were the best! It is important to note that I have NO previous health service experience, already have a degree and will be starting back at square one with two kids under the age of three!

modG August 18, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Bree this is amazing! I’m so happy

Miranda August 18, 2011 at 8:27 pm

First, I just gained a zillion pounds reading the comments.

Second, from one former breastfeeder of an allergy baby to a current member of the club, kudos.

Third, hashbrown casserole. With extra cheese.

Amanda August 18, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Best picture of Suri. Ever.

Thought you should see this, because you know, I’m pretty sure Suri is some kind of royalty and this is shit is just precious.


AsphaltQueen August 18, 2011 at 8:43 pm

A crap-ton of Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints and Samoas, especially. And Skyline Chili 5-way.

Chantal August 18, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Thats all Im going to say. Ok and maybe not the ninja turtle soup.

Heather August 18, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Hello! I am a newer follower and had not read back far enough to see that you were on a TED. I am currently milk and soy free as a breast feeding mom. I am no lune about breastfeeding but when the doctor walked in with a an of formula to tell me about DD’s intolerances, I about hit the roof. We aren’t in the clear yet but we did do allergy testing and the allergist (3rd opinion on the matter) agrees it is an intolerance that she should outgrow and I can just continue the diet changes. Not too bad but you are right about soy being in EVERYTHING!

As for what to eat first – close call between baked ravioli smoothered (and i mean heavily) in cheese and ice cream. But then again the ease of a McDonalds cheeseburger and a large fry would be good too! Wow this is a hard question!

BTW why can you eat everything now? Why only one week?

julie s. August 18, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Oh. My. God. I never heard the term “overproducer” before. I just clicked on that link and learned all sorts of things about my baby and my boobs, which apparently overproduce. I’m always choking her with my crazy milk-squirting boobs. How come the pediatrician never mentioned this when I told her that sometimes the baby chokes when I first start nursing her, and she often has projectile spit-ups right after nursing? THANK YOU, MODG!! Seriously, thank you.

Christi August 18, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Don’t ever look to your ped for BFing advice. They have none. Find a great lactation consultant or a LLL meeting. My ped is a rockstar but gives SHITTY nursing advice (which ultimately ruined my nursing with my first son). I got me a good ole hippy LC this time around and we are going strong. Overactive letdown/over supply is no joke and is easily fixed. Good luck to you!

ms biscuit August 18, 2011 at 9:45 pm

keep up the good work!! i am the nanny of a diabetic/celiac 6 year old, so i understand the pains of menu-planning for a gluten free diet. and, while there is plenty of crap in ANY processed, packaged food regardless of what grocery store it came from or whether or not it contains gluten– you are doing your body and your baby, and your FUTURE BABIES a liiiiiifetime of miracles and happiness by cutting out that all that nastiness. Preservatives, soy, GMO dairy, HFCS– holy shit what is our country coming to?!?!?! eat fresh, living food people! for your kiddos!!

but in the meantime mod-gee, seriously enjoy the snacking :):):)

Katie August 18, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Sour Patch Kids candy (I can eat a whole bag if left to my own devices) and Sweet and Sour Filled Twizzlers. Those things are amazing…..also I think I would probably go a little crazy with those cheese biscuits from Red Lobster….

Alex August 19, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Yes! SPK are my all-time fav candy ever!

Rhiannon August 18, 2011 at 10:18 pm

I’m so glad I found your blog. We are also going through breastfeeding he’ll and I’m off gluten and dairy. Start with fully loaded nachos followed by pontine and a one pound ice cream cone. It’s been so freaken hot this summer all ive wanted is ice cream since i can’t have it.

Rhiannon August 18, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Poutine- I hate autocorrect

rsc August 18, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Cinnabon. A huge warm cinnabon with extra melty cream cheese icing. I haven’t had one in years, because I am pretty sure if I eat one I will gain 10 pounds. But when I think of them, my mouth waters, my eyes close halfway and I start thinking crazy thoughts. Take this one for the team!

Tesla August 18, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Okay, I don’t know if you like coconuts, but let’s just say for my sake that you do. This cake is THE BEST FUCKING CAKE you will EVER eat… well, maybe, I think it is.

So here’s what you do. Get a White Cake Mix and bake it in a 9 x 13 pan. Let it cool for about 10 mins, and then poke holes all in it with a fork or skewer or something to that effect. Then, mix together one can of Sweetened Condensed Milk (ya know, the short cans) and one can of Cream of Coconut (not a big can, but not a super duper small. the middle one.) Pour this mixture over the cake, slowly so it gets all in the cake. Let that sit in the fridge for about 30 minutes or so, then cover that with Cool Whip and Shredded Coconut. Put that back into the fridge so it can chill out. It’s really best if you wait all day or overnight to eat it, that way it’s really cold and all everything has married together or whatever they do.

Try it, it’s awesooooooooooome!

KellyScarbrough August 18, 2011 at 11:52 pm

My boyfriend made this exact cake last week! We skip the shredded coconut on top though because I’m not a coconut fan but it is SO good.

Tesla August 19, 2011 at 2:06 pm

:D I love it!! I also make a different version with chocolate cake that is called a Holy Cow Cake, but I refer to it as a Diabetic Coma Cake, LOL! You get a Chocolate Cake Mix, bake it in a 9 x 13, let it cool and poke holes in it as well. Then, mix one can Sweetened Condensed Milk and one of those glass jars of Caramel Ice Cream Topping and pour that over, then sprinkle with two crushed Butterfinger’s (the regular size ones). Let that chill out in the fridge, meanwhile, have an 8oz (I think that’s it, the regular size) package of Cream Cheese sitting out to soften. After the cake has chilled, mix the softened cream cheese with a large tub of Cool Whip. Spread that on top and then sprinkle two more crushed Butterfinger’s. IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOD!!

Mimi August 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Have an egg roll, wrapped in a pizza

Mimi August 18, 2011 at 11:23 pm

oh and with a side of wine-wine classes everything up

Kelly August 18, 2011 at 11:58 pm

This is my first comment because i dont know a lot about babies but i know a lot about good high-calorie delicious food. This might not sound fantastic but i promise the minute you eat it you will thank me. Salami with cream cheese and then roll it up with a flamin hot cheeto in the middle. its like a cheeto burrito and the salami is the tortilla and the cream cheese just makes everything better. I hope you enjoy this as much as as i enjoy your blog (which is a lot) enjoy your week of indulgence!

Peyton August 18, 2011 at 11:59 pm

So glad you are becoming reacquainted with our favorite hooker, FOOD! First of all, go have a cheesecake. And a pizza.

Next, thanks for keeping it real. I, too, have a fart rocket baby, and I’m scared to start eliminating things for fear that I will have to eliminate EVERYTHING! My poor girl, though, is clearly suffering and I just feel terrible. Per my l.c., I’m going to start with dairy. I think my husb and family feel like I should just throw in the towel w/ breastfeeding after the problems I’ve had with supply and now my sweet babe’s tummy trouble… but I’m not ready to give up just yet. Hopefully we’ll find the culprit of her extreme pootyness and all will be well…

greta August 19, 2011 at 1:17 am

My brother just announced that his wife is pregnant. I want to get her a gift, but am lost as to what to get… She is 1-2 months along, any ideas?

Karen August 19, 2011 at 7:24 am

I’m a huge cake fan myself. If I had a free pass I would attack the Wegmans bakery and go for any of their Ultimate cakes- chocolate or white. I dig ice cream too- and lately I’m obsessed with Red Carpet Red Velvet Cake. The brand is Blue Bunny (um, yeah. I don’t know…but Duff from Charmed City Cakes was part of this so I felt OK about it. Every time I look at the container and see his smiling face I know I’m doing the right thing) It’s a really magical blend of ice cream and red velvet cake. Trouble is, I’ve only been able to find it at Walmart and sometimes I get scared when I go there. However, if the hormones are in charge that day I have no fear and march right into the trenches. Enjoy the week!

Kristen August 19, 2011 at 8:09 am

Tastkakes:. Peanut butter kandy kakes, butterscotch krimpets, Tasty-Klair pie (although they won’t be back in stores until the weather gets cooler b/c they melt on the Tastykake truck. I know that just because i do, NOT because I asked the delivery guy at the store.).

Megan M. August 19, 2011 at 9:30 am

Congrats on returning to actual food, MODG! I so feel your pain- in fact your boobs and my boobs may be kindred boob spirits. First my daughter couldn’t latch, because as my Lactation Consultant stated we were a “bad anatomical fit” (also known as small mouthed baby, big nipples mama) and the baby had a weaker suck and my milk came out too fast, so nipple shields were part of our nursing routine for the first 5 months. After we actually got her to nurse, she was diagnosed with reflux. When the meds didn’t seem to help, my boss (a speech therapist who specializes in feeding) suggested that I block feed and cut out dairy and any high acid foods. So there went dairy (even in baked goods and crackers for pete’s sake), tomatoes, chocolate, citrus fruits and anything else yummy. I avoided soy, but not to same extent that you had to. It was the blandest 7 1/2 months of my life. That baby is lucky that she was so cute as an infant. On the up side, I lost my baby weight right quick (although I gained a little back when I could eat food again).

Tami August 19, 2011 at 9:37 am

Deep fried snickers bars at the Minnesota State Fair, followed by corn on the cob drenched in butter.

Lindsay August 19, 2011 at 9:58 am

3 words: Baked. Ziti. Pizza. Pizza places usually open at 11. Get your speed dial ready. You’ll thank me.

Soren August 19, 2011 at 10:28 am

hii modg
have you seen this?!

and definitely pizza!

Cyndi August 19, 2011 at 11:01 am

One word – CHEESESTEAK. With melty, delicious american AND wiz.

OH WAIT – speaking of melty, delicious cheese – I’d go to MELTING POT! yummm.

Josie August 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Sounds like G and all these babies as described above have reflux. All that gas and spitting up, and screaming.

k August 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Just wanted to say how fab you are !! Thank you for putting your story out there, because it is almost nonexistently rare to read a story about how incredibly hard breastfeeding can be that ends with “we are still breastfeeding and I am so glad.” That is SO fabulous. I had a hard time, but not as hard as you, and bf 20 months, and I was so glad too, but I don’t have a blog. So thanks MODG. Enjoy the food.

Alex August 19, 2011 at 2:12 pm

This post reminds me…I have a Little Ceasars (complete with 5 dollar carry out pizzas) RIGHT NEXT TO A LIQUOR STORE. I just discovered this earlier this week. From now on, you can find me camped out in the parking lot.

Cortnie August 19, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Cake batter, onion rings, donuts, nachos.


OurGrowingGarden August 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I am SO GLAD for you. You never really know how much food affects your life until you have to give it up. I ate a shitload of Reese’s and ice cream after my top 8 elimination diet. In our case it was the Zantac causing major food allergies- my post on how just in case anyone is interested: http://www.ourgrowinggarden.com/2011/02/total-elmination-diet-is-ovah.html

Also. You are one dedicated mama to nurse through that and come out in one piece on the other side. Welcome to the club ;) You will have a much greater appreciation for food now.

Devin August 19, 2011 at 3:51 pm

All I know is that I am 9 months pregnant and it was NOT in my best interest to read all of these food suggestions…makes me very hungry. I suppose I will suck it all up and enjoy it because once I evict this kid I will have to go back to my old ways of eating healthy so I can be skinny again…I mean Im already up close to 50 lbs…what will it matter if I stuff my face for the alst week of this pregnancy?!?!?

Stephanie August 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Your story with your baby sounds exactly like mine. I’ve never known anyone who had such a hard time with their baby as I did with mine. I cut out everything from my diet in attempts to help with the incessant crying. It helped some but not completely. Although the lack of sleep and food did aid in helping me lose massive amounts of weight and after a year I was skinnier than I was before I had my child! (Which is pretty darn skinny…not even trying to sound proud of that either.) Today my son is a wonderful and sensitive 4 year old with the biggest heart of any child that I know. Now that I know him better because he can actually talk instead of cry, I look back and realize that he was probably just a sensitive baby and didn’t know how to deal with it, whereas now he’s older and I can help him deal with his issues without screaming and crying (obviously). I went on to have 2 more kiddos and neither of them were little terrors like my first. But I will tell you, because my first child was such a miserable little fellow, I had all kinds of tricks up my sleeve to help soothe my other two little ones when they were babies. Once you’ve had a baby like my first, every thing else is cake. =)

Heather August 19, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I accidentally replied to one of the comments above; so I added it here a second time. Wow – your story sounds EXACTLY like mine! Except we temporarily – and reluctantly – put our little guy on a hypoallergenic formula to see if his issues cleared up; it was such a stressful time. For him, it was gas and small specks of blood. After cutting out dairy, the gas improved but the blood continued. I cut out every major allergen and was still finding it. After a few weeks on the formula, it cleared up and we went back to BF. Now I am slowly adding things back into my diet, and so far, no more blood…I have a feeeling it was dairy and hidden dairy all along, as well as an oversupply issue (I pump up to 13 oz. in the morning after about 9 hours of sleep). SO, as a someone who has gone through something almost identical, I suggest – and look forward to myself – eating PIZZA! Every kind, every topping, and from all of the surrounding pizza restaurants. I live in CT, and Italian restaurants are on every corner; I plan to visit all of them when I get back on dairy someday! Glad to hear that things have improved for you; and congrats on sticking to BF; I know how hard it is, but so worth it in the end.

Amy M August 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Pecan pie cheesecake. The top is all crunchy sugary pecan goodness, the filling is creamy vanilla cheesecake. Your mouth doesn’t know what to do because it’s just so freaking good.

Also, in no particular order: mozzarella sticks, a chocolate croissant (did you know in Italy that for breakfast you can get a croissant stuffed with gelato? OMG so good), and a chili cheese dog.

Agent Scully August 19, 2011 at 6:55 pm

I’m one of those weird people who really loves healthy food. I get giddy to come home from work, not because I hate my job, but because that’s the time for me to have my spinach shake. Giddy. For spinach. (I KNOW!) Anyway, there are a few recipes I have for sweets. The home favorite (and super easy to make) is peanut butter fudge:

My oatmeal cookies are yummy (and round, bonus point!):

These strawberry bars are to die for (but a little more work):

eileen marie August 19, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Gummy bears and cereal marshmallows, duh.

(I second the Olive Garden “more of everything” feast.)

Rachel August 20, 2011 at 12:14 pm

thank you. so much. I’ve been having a pretty shitty couple of days because I either have an overactive let down, or the little one has some rare strain of tongue tie (bunched tongue? yeah.) You made me laugh really hard and realize others have to worse. I can still have all those deliciously round foods.

Meg August 21, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Wow! Everyone on here with their lists sound either stoned or pregnant! Lol! In September is the York State Fair, not too far from where you are. They have all of the crazy foods 1 would want at a fair & fun stuff for little ones. I also highly recommend the Classic Diner on Rt 30 in Frazer! They have the best French Toast ever! I was dying for it while prego with my 2nd but we live in South Florida now. Enjoy your week!

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