the MODG cliff notes.

So I started getting some comments that made me stop and actually think. These were comments such as “Does MODG stand for something?” and “Why don’t you wear pink and green?” That’s when I got my head out of my ass and realized that this blog isn’t a little club made up of only people who have been reading this crap for all 3 years. So I should probably catch everyone up on the code that I tend to speak in. So this post is like that episode of your favorite tv show that is totally lazy of the producers, where they just do a bunch of recap clips and call it “new”. And you’re like GODDAMMIT I just wanted to sit down and watch 2 new hours of the Bachelorette. This is bullshit.

I give you, Bullshit.

Once upon a July back in 2009, the boredom at my regular job was bordering on chinese water torture. So I decided to start a blog. My life was fairly awesome. I had lots of (4) friends. I did whatever I wanted (watched tv) and I consumed massive amounts of wine on a nightly basis. But I was married and shitting around and was thinking about having a baby. So I decided to let the internet help me make that decision… martinis or diaper genies (MODG)? Not like it was an important one or anything….

See, I always THOUGHT that I was pregnant. But it was usually a food baby. So to distract myself from all of this baby nonsense, I started to blog about other things. Confessions Friday started because I am a legitimate (online) ordained reverend. And I wanted to hear about everyone’s secrets and lies. Because everyone lies. But not to a reverend. Word.

People got wind of the crap that was going on around this part of the internet and my single guy friend found himself a temporary home here writing a weekly post for us. Single Guy got the girls of the internet all riled up. Some loved him, most hated him. But he was honest and usually a jackass. And we told him. Single Guy is no longer single but still usually a jackass.

And then I found love on the internet. Friend love. A guest poster on MODG turned out to be a friend who I talk to almost on a daily basis. She’s a huge bitch like me. She’s been to my baby shower and I was invited to her wedding. Take that match.com

While sharing my life with the internet, I shared my loves and hates. One such love was child brat and all around awesome diva, Suri Cruise. Together we followed her as she put Katie in her place.

We also distracted ourselves with shoes. I joined a crap ass shoe club by Kim Kardashian. I wanted to show you all my shoes, so I had to stand on my toilet to take the picture. I don’t have a full length mirror and don’t plan to buy one. From there many many things were put on my toilet and toilets around the world.

Because of my lack of filter and general boredom, I tended to get myself in trouble with the internet. This was the first time that happened. My attempt at humor was lost of a big preppy segment of the population starting the infamous preppy war. And also here.

After I was pretty down on myself, something exciting happened. The internet declared me Asian. I decided to embrace that and start an Asian movement. Being Asian 2010 is still active in 2011.

I started to think more and more about the baby thing. I mean granted, my time was well spent on being Asian and Suri Cruise, but I decided to see a midwife. I then acquired a 2nd internet best friend ZDub and also my internet doula and gateway into the hippie community. She is my hippie idol.

And then something happened. I got pregnant. But I couldn’t tell the internet yet. So I had to keep it a secret for FOUR months. Instead I documented the happenings in the GPS (getting pregnant story).

Some disgusting things happened while I was pregnant. Obviously I told everyone about it.

And then he arrived. 1 2 3

And the hardest 6 months of my life took place. And the internet helped me through it. After I ate my placenta.

And here we are and I neither drink martinis nor own a diaper genie. But I’m a mom and I try to be cool, but I’m fairly lame. I try to be as drunk as breastfeeding will let me be. And I try to be as skinny as eating all the gluten free cookies will allow (not very).

Now that you know the MODG story, this makes you an honorary Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club member. Oh you don’t know about that? You better find out.

XOXO,

Sparkle Faced MODG

I’ve updated all posts to be tagged to a category, like I used to. You can see them all in the sidebar. So if you’re like, “man I really like reading about that douche bag single guy” You can click on his fancy tag and read about his bullshit.

Please leave in the comments how long you’ve been reading and if you have any questions for me. I promise that this is a safe zone and I will answer all questions sans mocking. Probably.

 

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{ 175 comments }

Jen @familyfoodfitnessandfun June 21, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Well….I’ve been reading for about 2 1/2 years. I love your sense of humor. Reading your blog is my little secret indulgence into the world of adulthood. You are real. You are honest. And I like that. I have 3 little boys 5 and under…that skull bottle of vodka? is looking really good about now….

Janina June 21, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Toilet Mandy and I love you. No matter what!

Windy City Kelleys June 21, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Nice “catch up” post, love it! I have been following for like two years I think, wow! In that time I had a baby too and slacked big time on my own blog. So props to you for keeping it up and yourself sane (kind of anyway) in these first 6 months!

Naomi June 21, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I first read your blog about 2 years ago and haven’t looked back, since! Please go on forever :)

Janet June 21, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I’ve been reading since last July-ish (?) when you announced you were pregnant. I was peeing on millions of sticks and not believing the super pale pink line meant I was, too (I thought it was too pale or something), and I commented something dumb like that. You emailed and said, “YOU ARE PREG.” And I was. A beautiful story. :) My daughter is now ten weeks old and I’ve followed your blog ever since!

Norma June 21, 2011 at 8:59 pm

i’ve been reading for a little over a year now. love it.

Shannon June 21, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I’ve been reading for over a year, a few months before you announced you were pregnant and now that I’m pregnant (13 weeks) I love to go back and re-read your pregnancy posts. Great stuff/terrifying stuff :)

RhodeyGirl June 21, 2011 at 9:01 pm

I’ve been reading for two weeks I think? But I’m the creepy person that went back to the beginning of your pregnancy and read every post since then (i’m 27 weeks pregnant right now). Thanks for the cliff notes!

Vicki June 21, 2011 at 9:01 pm

I’ve been reading since January when my baby was born and I ate my placenta. Made all the difference.

Amy June 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Only been reading your craziness for about a year now,but I’ve read every post like it’s the Bible. I wish we were real life besties, which seems super creepy to write on a stranger’s blog. For reals though. Thanks for all the laughs.

Jayme (The Random Blogette) June 21, 2011 at 9:03 pm

I started reading right around the time of the LP war. I still am not sure who the war was with but ever since then I have been a faithful reader! I may not always comment but I read every post!

Tia June 21, 2011 at 9:04 pm

I have been reading for 5 months…shortly after you had G. And I enjoy it completely!! Thanks for saying all the stuff to the world us other moms might not have the chance to…so real and straight forward. Yours is the only blog I read. Thanks for my little mommy escape.

L June 21, 2011 at 9:04 pm

I’ve been reading since the beginning when it was all louboutins and halloween costumes and north face fleeces. I think you commented on someone else’s blog that I was reading and I was like Martinis or Diaper Genies? What the? So I clicked and it was funny and not lame so I sent it to my sister who also thought it was funny and not lame and she sent it to her co workers, I sent to my co workers, blah blah now everyone reads. You forgot to mention the podcast where readers called in and asked you (and B) questions.

Gina June 21, 2011 at 9:04 pm

I’ve been reading off and on (I KNOW! SORRY!) for 2 years, and I remember when I came across a post about your pregnancy and thought, OMYGODSHEDIDITSHEISHAVINGABABYSHECHOSEDIAPERGENIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thought, WELL DAMN. Will she still retain that coolness factor? Why, absolutely! To me, it seems you write exactly how you talk: blunt and to the point. And now that you are a mom, you see things in a different yet still hilarious light. You prove that while yes, motherhood certainly does change your life, you can still be YOURSELF and not be ashamed about it. I was happy to see that your baby posts are REALISTIC and not ohmygodthankyouforthismiracleitssoeasyi’minloveihadnolifebeforeihadachildblahblahBLAH. Thanks for the Cliffs Notes! But why didn’t you mention you are also a VERY talented wedding planner/interior decorator/photographer?

Jessie June 21, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I’ve been reading for over two years- and I talk about you like I know you. Is that weird? I catch myself saying things during random conversations like ‘Well, MODG had a midwife” or “MODG had a his/her baby shower complete with booze.” or “MODG’s husband looks like Cole Hamel.’ and lots of other cool/hippie/asian things you’ve done that play into whatever conversation I’m having. Ok, that is weird. But whatever. I’m convinced that you and I would be great friends and I will continue to speak of you like we are.
Also- I did have blue hair once, and I just recently took a picture of the Full House house while on vacation in San Francisco. While doing so, I sang the theme song aloud, despite the looks I was getting from people on the street.
See? We’d be friends. I just know it.

emily June 21, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I have been reading since Nov or Dec 2009… and now everyone in my group of friends will g chat each other at work about the hilarious post for the day. I miss confession friday and the kimmy k shoe days… and single guy… even if he is not single. But i am pretty sure this blog got me through my last HORRIBLE job. It at least made me want to get up so i could check the post for the day (i promise i wasn’t really suicidal…) but i love this blog and all our guy friends think we are sad for referring to our friend “modg” like we just had lunch… (and writing it out i am realizing we may be just that- sad) but at least I will now know what to expect with being preggers and marrying a bed farter.

Leah June 21, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I’ve been reading for a year and a half. I even went back and read through every post while I was pumping at work and sometimes I’d get caught up and realize that I’d been in the pumping room for an hour, but I work with mostly guys and who’s going to question a woman about how long it takes to pump, right?

Mrs. Plank June 21, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I’ve been reading since late 09. And I used to be Big Boops until I went public. I love you MODG. We’ve shared many things such as rectal rockets, ddd and our shared love of vodka. Keep on keepin on friend.

MODG June 21, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I’m loving these comments. It’s awesome to know that you are all really the freaks that I imagine you to be.

Eunice June 21, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I’ve been reading ever since The Bloggess posted a picture you drew of your cats. I’m all about the cats. But I’m not a cat lady! I still can’t find the post about the Danny Tanner Double Hearts club. I think it was a link that I didn’t click on, but I want to join!

Katie June 21, 2011 at 9:13 pm

I’ve been reading since the beginning and commenting for about 2 years. Will we EVER see confession fridays again?????????….they were my super favorite.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:40 am

Yes, we will. I promise. It takes like 4 years off of my life to put one of those damn posts together, but we will.

erin June 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm

I’ve been reading this blog for about a year. Since I’m 100 months pregnant and bored, I would like the ability to start at the beginning and read all the entries. The archive seems to pick and choose a couple a month. Can you make this happen?

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:41 am

For some reason the archive shows you the end of the month first. If you click at the bottom (previous posts) it will take you through the rest of the month

Jennifer June 22, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I started reading about a year ago. My friend put your URL as her gchat status (my not-so-secret hobby at work is clicking links that people put as their gchat statuses). So I read that post (I think it was a toilet shoe one) and was hooked instantly, but I knew that I was missing pieces of the puzzle when certain things (I’m Asian, Danny Tanner Double Hearts club, Suri Cruise, aliens) kept recurring. So I sought out your very first post and then proceeded to read each one. Just keep clicking “Next Post” at the bottom of each page.

In that time, I met my boyfriend and we’re about to get engaged (you’re thinking “about” but bare with me–I helped pick out the ring, so I know it’s coming soon. WORD.) So if you need someone to debate MODG 2.0, let me know.

Erica Jackson June 21, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I’ve been reading your blog since I was 6 months preggers…so that’s 9 months now! A friend told me that their husband was in a frat with your husband and that his wife was hilarious and would be able to make me laugh through pregnancy.

lauren June 21, 2011 at 9:23 pm

I started reading about a year and a half ago…a little bit before you and I both got pregnant around the same time. I remember b/c you insisted very loudly you were not pregnant, and going through the same bs myself I called you out only to hear you insist even LOUDER you weren’t pregnant. Anyway, I love some raunchy sense of humor and leaving out the bullshit. After leaving the hippie haven of Asheville, NC I am stuck living in a boring ass town outside Charlotte NC populated only by Stepford Wives…who spend all day making Martha Stewart paper flowers, getting coffee at Panera and having manicures and talking about Jesus…oh and I guess raising their kids. I find them frivolous and boring so any glimpse I have of real folks is refreshing that they do, indeed, exist and I shouldn’t give up hope that there are other people who don’t think I’m weird for letting my kid dance around the living room naked to Nine Inch Nails and Bob Marley.

Amanda June 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm

I’ve been reading I guess about a year and a half? Maybe more? I don’t know…before the LP hullabaloo which the links inform was ages past! I was watching Full House the other day (oh yes) and it freaked me out that Danny Tanner is only 29 in Season 1. And Uncle Jesse is 24.

Someone hold me, I’m older than Uncle Jesse.

Michelle June 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm

I’m a new fan… only caught on to your awesomeness a few months ago while fat and pregnant and on bed rest. I, too, believe confession fridays are amazing and need to happen 123908239 times more often.

BJF June 21, 2011 at 9:30 pm

I’ve been reading since I got pregnant and my friend sent me your butt nut post and I died and spent the next 2 hours (at work) reading back from very first post. Creepy. I wish I had that much time in my hands now. My daughter is 11 weeks, I am pro dr, had a csec, exclusively pump, and give formula in the middle of the night. See, we can all get along bitches! Liking different people makes you seem tolerant and smart. Truth.

B June 21, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Ive been reading since January. My husband refers to you as “the girl with the cool nursery..” becuase I made him look like 56 times. He immediately asked “How much is it”. And when he found out you got G’s crib from Walmart, you were suddenly, “cool” (this is major coming from the man who only reads PS3 blogs”).

Bjf June 21, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Ps I mean bitched in a really positive way. Just to be clear. See, here’s a smile face to prove it. :)

shannon milliorn June 21, 2011 at 9:34 pm

SERIOUSLY! I found your blog and i thought you were hilarious and sassy and asian. so i decided to go back and read EVERY single post EVER. It took me 2 whole weeks as i happen to be a SAHM and had to do things like feed the kid and whatnot. The VERY day i finish and get ALL the way caught up you post this, ::headexplosion” that’s what she said. still love you and all your crazy wit and dramababy and even B’s bandanna’s!

AndreaBeltz June 21, 2011 at 9:40 pm

I freakin love you modg……..seriously…..I used to wake up every morning dyiiiing to read your post. I have been a member of dtdh club since somewhere between Oct 2009-Dec 2009—I’m not sure, but I started reading when I started my super boring office job, I don’t work there anymore, probably not because I was reading modg at work.
Anyway….you’re the best. No questions… oh wait…yes, one:
when I tell people I am “eh” on kids, they say “oh but its different with your own” I think that’s an awfully risky chance to take, so speaking truth, what do you say? hahah

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:43 am

Well, I’ll be honest, I’ve always liked kids. I know hard to believe. But I do super like my kid. I think the reason is they just love you so much unconditionally…like a dog. So if you like dogs, you’ll like your own child. Science.

g-unit June 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm

I’ve been reading since August of 2009, and I share your sparkles and unicorns with everyone. Loves it. I’m currently choosing martinis myself, but diaper genies could be in my near future. :)

Becky June 21, 2011 at 9:46 pm

i’ve been reading for about 6 months {but I’m not the greatest at time, so won’t put my money on it}. And it was love at first read. Truthfully. If I could call you an asian version of ME, I would. Take it as you will. You crack me up, and have inspired me to use naughty language on my blog. The same language I use in real life. The ones mom’s always drop their chins to. Yes, I said fuck. Get the fuck over it.

Anyways, how I turned this around to talk about myself… no idea. But that’s typical of me.

First time I’ve ever commented? I think. That’s big right there. So yeah, just wanted to say I internet heart you and your blog.

So keep em comin!

Mindy June 21, 2011 at 9:48 pm

I started reading your blog 2 years ago and never looked back!

I don’t have kids but I have two pretty needy dachshunds…I mean one of them shits in the apartment every day, the other one throws up randomly, and they both whine whenever I’m not paying enough attention to them. One of them is laying across my hands as I type this, I think the other one is off chewing up something, probs. So they kind of resemble kids? Maybe? No? Ok, touche.

AP June 21, 2011 at 9:49 pm

I only started reading maybe a few months ago, but in that time damn you know I went back and read straight through start to finish. This is one of the very few blogs I read on the regular, and one of only TWO that I’ve straight- through- back- read. Love you!

BB June 21, 2011 at 9:50 pm

i initially found your blog back in your ‘martinis’ days but didn’t become a regular reader until i got knocked up right around the same time as you and i added your blog to my file of baby-related favorites next to babycenter, webmd, everybodybirths.com . you were a week or so ahead of me in terms of due date so your blog was a more real life version of “what to expect”. i think the real turning point from casual reader to regular reader was back when you posted about the film The Business of Being Born. up until that point, all of the blogs and personal stories i could find on things like midwives and doulas were written mostly by actual hippies (no offense to your hippie-cred, MODG!). these were things I was really interested in and I knew based on your toilet pics/Suri obsession/skull vodka consuming shenanigans that you would be able to make those experiences so much more relatable to me. and then you proceded to stand on line visibly pregs to get a bottle of skinnygirl signed by Bethenny F and then I totally knew you would be one of blog idols.

Molly June 21, 2011 at 9:50 pm

My SIL sent me a link to your blog a couple of months ago — right after I had my first baby. I was hooked and re-read every. single. post. and annoyed the shit out of my husband with “MODG this and MODG that”. I had a very similar birth story (minus some of the hippie stuff) and ended up with the c-word. Question: will you try for a VBAC with baby #2? I’ve read lots of hippie things about it, but would love another opinion. Love!

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:44 am

Yes I will definitely try for a VBAC. I really want to have the natural childbirth experience. I’m sad I can’t go to the birth center but vagina trumps all.

Starfruit June 21, 2011 at 9:56 pm

About a year and a half – before you were pregnant! You had me at shoes on a toilet………CHECK YOUR SITE DAILY!

amanda June 21, 2011 at 10:00 pm

i’ve been reading for a year and half or so – LOVE your blog. i’ve got a drama baby too and i love to know another momma out there is just trying to survive the madness. you are amazing! i’m not funny or anything, but i can offer loads of adoring comments :-)

molly June 21, 2011 at 10:09 pm

I am a fairly new reader. Can’t remember how I found you. I went back and read your birth story. No idea how you managed to make that funny but you did.

I think you’re all kinds of awesome.

Sarah vL June 21, 2011 at 10:11 pm

I started reading almost 2 years ago, and I have LOVED IT ever since that wonderful day! I remember that first week that I started reading I couldn’t get enough of you so I went back and read your entire blog, start to finish. AND I listened in on your podcast!! My hubs was like “who the fuck are you skyping with?!” and I was all “SHUT UP MODG IS TALKING DFHSKDGJHSKDH I CAN’T MISS THIS!!”

Ashley June 21, 2011 at 10:11 pm

You pretty much say what I am thinking. I’ve been reading for a while and just recently stated my own blog. Love that you make having a baby ‘cool’ and share all the scary crap no one wants to talk about. Pretty much everyone I know is pregs or getting married (I’m neither) and have been with my bf the longest (ha, bitches!).

Cheers (literally). I usually finish my day with a glass of wine (or bottle) and reading my fav blogs. Yours being one of them.

Tesla June 21, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I have been reading for only a few months, but the first time I found your blog I did go back and read EVERY single post that night.

Also a note: I saw on your pretty war section where the chick from Alabama attacked you. I’m from Alabama and I think you’re fracking hilarious, so screw her ;)

wonderchris June 21, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Who would win in a Britney dance-off….MODG or Nicole Ritchie?

*Sparkles*

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:44 am

Nicole Ritchie would. For sure. Props.

Legally Fabulous June 21, 2011 at 10:25 pm

I’ve been reading for a while. Since around the time of the preppy blogger feud. Maybe a little before that?
Either way I just wanted to let you know that I think the targeted pink and green and preppy and lilly and the south and OMG blogger sucks. A lot.
Sparkles.

Mcknz June 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Been reading since about 4 or 5 months before u got pregnant…I’m too tired for math right now to determine how long that’s been. This is my first post, so here’s to u finding out about an avid reader u never knew about before :)

jenn June 21, 2011 at 10:33 pm

my trying-to-get-pregnant friend told me i was missing out on life since i hadn’t found your blog yet. we were bored with our reader subscriptions and trading ideas for new stuff to add. she obviously won the suggestion competition, because now i do a little dance when i see an unread MODG post waiting for me. i started reading a few months before G was born, but i did go back several months to catch up. your post today made me realize i didn’t make it far back enough, because i’ve never read a single guy post!

question: have random people ever recognized you as “that MODG girl”? are they cool about it? are you cool about it? because i really imagine that would be super awkward for everyone.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:45 am

No BUT this is like my super dream. I’m dying for someone to recognize me from the blog. That would be my ultimate fame moment.

Jen M. June 21, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You are hilarious, and you don’t sugar coat shit, I love it. I’ve been reading ever since Young House Love did some shout out and linked to G’s nursery, and it was awesome so I read some back posts and have been reading ever since. I was super pissed when I was reading about the chick who copied your wedding, but you’d already like changed all the pictures of hers to drawings, and I was DYING to see the actual side by side comparisons to see how much she totally ripped you off. I think I got pissed that I wasn’t able to fully appreciate the stealing-ness that happened, and I never got around to finishing going through old posts. I need to get on that asap. Like seriously, right now. I need to read about the douchebag single guy.

MissCaron June 21, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Look at you all famous and shit with like a million comments…

I started reading when you commented on something else I was reading… about the same time as I started following Z-dub… no idea when that actually was but y’all are pretty cool so I stuck around. I think that you’re pretty awesome sharing everything like you do. I really wish I could share about the shit-hole that is my job but there are spies who rat me out each time… therefore I haven’t said much in a really long time (not to mention I can’t bitch about my personal life or my g-ma will freak out) so I’m left living vicariously through you… and your Crystal Head Vodka. Fantastic!

Since you asked for questions… I want to know about what other fun shit you’ve been up to besides taking care of Gavin :-)

Jessica June 21, 2011 at 10:42 pm

So all this time I really thought you were Asian. I didn’t believe it at first because you don’t look asian but it wasn’t until I saw this post http://www.modgblog.com/2010/02/01/why-i-wont-be-on-next-season-of-the-jersey-shore/ I realized why you are “asian”. You’re hilarious. I’m all about the Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club.

KailiReynolds June 21, 2011 at 10:50 pm

i’ve been reading only since about march, when i was pointed in your direction because you are going through the same milk allergy issues with your baby…. my question for you is…
how much alcohol do you get away with and how has it effected your supply?
this is very important to a cocktail enthusiast that is denied the sweet bliss of ice cream, cheese, etc.
also: have you heard of ben and jerry’s “late night snack”?? it has potato chips dipped in chocolate. and the chips are still crunchy!! i can’t WAIT to be able to eat ice cream again… sigh

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:46 am

My breastfeeding group has taught me to be pretty relaxed about the alcohol thing. Not sure if this is a good move on their part. But it’s pretty much, if you don’t feel drunk, your milk is fine. I usually have 1-2 smaller (average) glasses of wine a night.

Beth June 21, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I have a 6 month old little boy who could be G’s twin…cause he is all drama all the time! I have been reading only for a few months and have laughed so hard I now can’t read your blog when I nurse the boy cause it scares him!! Keep the stories coming!!

Jill June 21, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I have been reading for probably 3 or 4 months. You rock my socks off and I tell everyone who owns a computer to read your blog. I even added your blog to one of my What I Am Loving Wednesday posts. :) Thanks for saying shit no one else will say.

Sundy June 21, 2011 at 11:07 pm

When I found your blog about a year ago, I went through your archives and read all of your previous posts. MODG is THE BEST. It makes me laugh, but it has also made me think about more serious things like natural birth (which is something I would have NEVER considered). Danny Tanner Double Hearts forever.

Stacy June 21, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I’ve been reading for about 2 years now, this is the first comment though! I adore your blog, when I used to work in an office selling insurance I’d come home and make my husband read your posts too simply because you crack me the hell up! I’ve been trying to get motivated to actually post to my blog, but it would never be as cool as this, so I skip it and just re read yours! I’m lame…I know! I also second the question someone above asked…people SAY it’s different when it’s your own kid…is it really really true? I’m not a fan of other peoples kids but am trying to get knocked up with one of my own and am super (not)sparkle terrified!
S.

prettylittlereckless June 21, 2011 at 11:21 pm

I think I’ve been reading since the whole Prep War went down. I think it’s totally funny and understood your post was meant in jest. Keep the posts coming. I love what I’m reading!

sarah June 21, 2011 at 11:24 pm

MODG + ALME = IBFF4Eva

(and ZDub can come too as resident hippy)

Sara June 21, 2011 at 11:35 pm

I’ve been reading for 3-4 months. I really enjoyed my helping of bullshit today. And I’ve been working my way through your TIme Machine. I love Confession Fridays and the guilt of NOT having confessed yet has finally gotten to me: In college I had an awesome boyfriend. He was forced to stay home one Thirsty Thursday Night to study for a midterm that he had to pass to graduate. I went out with my girlfriends and my drunk ass decided to go to his house after for a booty call. There was no booty. Just barfing in his disgusting three boys living in one bathroom toilet. That toilet still haunts me. Then I passed out in his bed. The next morning I woke up to him returning from his test. Irate. I had pissed his bed… awesome. I was still too drunk to drive home so he took me… and all his pissy sheets. I walked into my apartment and yelled to my roommate “Rachel I pissed the bed last night.” As soon as it had it left my mouth her boyfriend walked out of her room laughing his ass off. He told everyone we knew. I died… but my boyfriend didn’t stay mad and he’s my husband now. My MODG Blog conscience is clean. Thank you for all the sparkles you’ve brought to my life.

Kelly June 22, 2011 at 12:10 am

Amanda,

I have been reading you since right after I started blogging, which was 2009, and then I let you in on the secret blog hustle and then before you knew it, we were like, fuck this shit, and just wrote our blogs and were out of the secret blog hustle. But then my husband got all psycho and did a splitsville and left me and two kids in a shit house with no money and tons of bills. But then I moved out of the shit house into this little apt with my two kids, and now I have some dumb PT job, but I can still stay home with my kids, and my husband is still my husband bc we aren’t divorced yet, and attorneys are money whores and will just make up shit to keep you fighting so that they can make more money, but we all knew that. And so now I don’t blog at all, but someday I will again, and I am so proud of you, and your journey, and your blog, and here’s the thing:: no one knows what the FUCK they are doing when they have a kid. NO ONE. You just figure it out as you go. You, my friend, are in what I like to call: survival mode. The second kid will be WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY easier. And when you have G’s first bday, it is really a celebration that YOU survived the first year of motherhood. Don’t forget that. Take care, keep writing, you are better than ever. Lots o love, Kelly formerly of SFTC

maggie June 22, 2011 at 12:44 am

bahaha, this post cracked me up. thanks for the refresher course, my sparkly friend :)

MeaganLewis June 22, 2011 at 12:59 am

you only talked about being italian for like three posts wayyyyy early on, so some of us (me) thought you were actually asian. which, clearly, is fine by you. G makes a cute part asian baby.

Robin June 22, 2011 at 1:03 am

I’ve been reading your blog for at least a year now and LOVE it! In fact, it prompted me to start a blog of my own, but then I quickly realized that my life is way too boring to write about on a daily basis. You make even the boring stuff sound interesting–I’m a huge fan!

Courtney June 22, 2011 at 1:11 am

Oh yay, I’m kinda part of the MODG club! Haven’t been reading since the beginning of time, but def started reading before you were preggo! I actually enjoyed your blogs so much I went back and read from the beginning! I found your blog from Shatterboxx Media when I was looking for a blog designer and I checked out their blog portfolio and saw MODG. Have pretty much followed ever since, but def started tunning in regularly once I got pregnant and wanted to follow your experience with end of pregnancy and motherhood!

Not gonna lie, you’ve scared me here and there with some of your blog posts on dramababy, but I know you’re part drama yourself and let’s be honest, drama sells blog posts, right?! ;) Ha! I think you should do a blog post on all your favorite parts about motherhood……to give us preggos something to look forward to for a change! HA! You know I lurv u gurl!

Las Vegas Mama June 22, 2011 at 1:29 am

So THATS why you are asian. I was wondering. Thanks for the posts that give us more background!

Also, I do have a question. How did you get such a great readership? were you just that awesome and everyone followed your blog? Or did you have to work at it? Because I thought if I started an entertaining blog, people would just like it and follow it, and over a year later… not so much! Maybe I am uber boring and just never realized it. Or maybe the fact that I never really put effort into growing it is the problem. Please tell me the secret to your success!

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:47 am

In the beginning I definitely did work at it. I was a comment queen. EVERYONE who commented on my blog, I would go back to their blog, read their latest entry and comment there. When I found a blog whose style was similar to mine, I would visit all of THEIR commenters blog and so on. That built up my readership in the beginning. Then I got exhausted

Jenny June 22, 2011 at 1:30 am

I’ve been reading for just a few months at the suggestion of a fellow mom friend. I have four-year-old twins and a new (2-month-old) baby. I had forgotten (blocked out) most of my twins’ infancy, so it was refreshing to read your experiences while I was due with number three. While I’m not as “hippy-ish” as you (I don’t cloth diaper or eat placentas), I have my moments. :) It’s always nice to find reassurance and solidarity with other moms who occasionally feel like their baby is driving them crazy!

Jenni June 22, 2011 at 1:53 am

I’ve been reading just a few weeks! My friend posted the R-A-P-E entry on Facebook which caught my attention (…..?) so I’ve been reading since then. With an 11 week old I’m using this as proof to my Husband to let him know I am not the only crazy person out there. Like “see! she wanted to punch her husband when he was awake at 4 am! see! it’s not JUST me….!!!”

Nicole J @ Knocked Up June 22, 2011 at 7:29 am

I loved this post! It was around MODG World in 5 minutes or less. Awesome post ma!

Beckles June 22, 2011 at 7:35 am

I’ve been reading since the single guy days ( I think)-I’m not sure exactly how long. Or how I ended up here. But I definitely went back and read the old posts like a stalker. But in a totally non-creepy way. I swear.

Lane C June 22, 2011 at 7:41 am

Hey A. Modg I’ve been loyally reading your blog since March 2010. I’ve emailed you before and you were a total delight so I started to push your blog onto my friends even more. As I read this post I had “Teenage Wasteland” stuck in my head so it totally fit the vibe. I miss confession Fridays and I have no problem patiently awaiting their come-back if they are making one. Are they?

Anyway, I think you are an amazing and honest person and those are the two best qualities us people can have. Yeah, amazingness is a quality. You’re awesome!

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:47 am

Yes they will be back.

Amy June 22, 2011 at 7:48 am

I started reading about a year ago, you commented on all things G&D blog and I thought the comment was funny, so I stalked you and started reading. I’m not much of a commenter~except for the fact that I am a nurse and I might have told you to not wear depends, that you should buy the super maxi’s with wings!! Love your humor and honesty. My kids are teenagers now but I love to read your writings and look back at what life used to be like. Keep it real!

Miss Tigger June 22, 2011 at 8:46 am

I have been reading your blog for over two years. A friend turned me to you…and I have turned many to get their MODG fix.

No martinis here either, but over Margaritas your site will sometime come up in conversation.

Love it!

Tracy June 22, 2011 at 9:00 am

I’ve been stalking, I mean reading your blog for about 3 months. It’s certainly the best blog I’ve ever come across. by far.

Thanks for making me laugh so hard everyday.

Jill June 22, 2011 at 9:09 am

I’m not sure how long I’ve been reading…you were pregnant at the time. But you were so friggin hilarious and a complete genius, so I had to go back and read all of your posts from the start (slow days at work), so I feel like I’m a full-fledged member of the Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club.

Easily my favourite Internet read. And possibly my favourite read, period. I even enjoyed the boring bullshit recap blog. ;)

Ryan June 22, 2011 at 9:34 am

I’ve been reading MODG for about 6 months now – a little after you squirted out the little dude.

Here’s my question: what’s the highest number of minorities, religious groups or other sects of the population that you’ve managed to offend in 24 hours? If you’re not already tracking this, we need to start. I think there’s a world record in your future. :)

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:48 am

good question. My favorite minorities are jews, asians and gays. My least favorite are preppy girls and republicans. That probably answers nothing.

Ryan June 22, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Oh, it says plenty. :)

Courtney June 23, 2011 at 1:46 am

Move to San Francisco, where your list of favorite minorities are actually the majority, and your least fave list do not exist. Just sayin.

Jess June 22, 2011 at 9:45 am

I want to know when you plan on doing this baby thing again. My son is 14 months and I can’t stand the thought of no drinking for nine months but I want another one.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 9:49 am

NOT FOR A WHILE. Maybe in a year or two

Jess June 22, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Good plan. Then you would be outnumbered. Life would be harder with a dramababy and a dramatoddler!

M June 22, 2011 at 9:54 am

I’ve been reading since last fall after I found your post on Peppermint Bliss re: your wedding – I am officially obsessed with the blog and tell all my friends to read it. I also use FF and got a kick out of your take on it.

Question – I don’t recall you going into much detail re: what you experienced during the first trimester – were you sick, tired, irritable, miserable to you hubby, etc…? Did you call in sick to work, sleep under your desk, etc…? Always interested to hear a preggo’s take on the first trimester, especially while working.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 10:02 am

Yes I was pretty sick but not as sick as some. No vomit thank britney. I used Sea Bands which helped me a lot with the nausea. I had night sickness. 4pm was my worst hour.

Philly Maggie June 22, 2011 at 10:07 am

Been reading for 2 years, love that you are from the area and can honestly understand why I generally hate most people on a daily basis. Its been a hard 6 months for you but it brought back such great (and not so great *fuck you colic!!*) memories of when my kids were babies. I look forward to many more years of hearing about G growing up and I especially can’t wait until you are endoctrinated into the cults of team sports and PTO. You will be longing for the days you ate your own body………;) Cheers!!!!

Stephanie June 22, 2011 at 10:13 am

I have been reading for around 2 1/2 years I think. I knew I would be a reader for life after finding out you had to stand on your toilet to see your shoes, as I have to do the same thing.

jayme June 22, 2011 at 10:23 am

well i officially feel like a total loser because i’ve been reading this blog for as long as the links go back. i remember each of these things and just realized just how long i’ve been working at this lame ass job that leads me back to this here internet spot. but for that, thank you. i have no questions for you because i just realized i already probably know too much. and you don’t read my blog so it’s totally one sided. how’s that for realization? :)

Chrysta June 22, 2011 at 10:31 am

I’ve probably been reading for around a year and a half. I’m not even sure how I found you. I started emailing your Confession Friday links to one of my sisters and now she is hooked around the world in Saudi Arabia. Sometimes our emails consist of “OMG did you read MODG today? Hilarious!”

beka June 22, 2011 at 10:32 am

I think this is my favorite post ever. EVER! So much greatness in one post.

mrs.mfc June 22, 2011 at 10:35 am

Hahaha I had never thought about what someone would think if they just stumbled upon your blog and had to figure out all the crazy stuff you referenced. HA! I’ve been reading for years so I know all this stuff but it was a nice little trip down memory lane!

Danni June 22, 2011 at 10:40 am

Yo! Been around since the start…literally. I was googling for martini recipes, but using only martinis as the key word and searching images (because I’m lazy and I like pretty pictures). I found your blog (in all it’s pink snd yellow glory….those were tge colors back then if I recall) and you were discussing pooping on the floor. you wrote “if you think you have to fart, you don’t!”. I was hooked.

Question? Hmm….is post baby body ok? Like are you getting back to normal, without bootcamp workout? Lie if needed.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm

ok it WAS great when I was eating like turkey and bones. Now that I’m eating kind of normally again, I’m a pooch horse. But honestly, I just don’t care that much. I haven’t worked out at all because any free time I get, I want to drink wine and watch tv.

McKenzie June 22, 2011 at 10:55 am

I found you from your post at Aiming Low. I am sorry that it took me so long to find you. My self worth would have been raised just a bit more if I had known there was another adult female Britney fan out there! I do have a question about the teething anklet thing – can you expain how/if it works?

MODG June 22, 2011 at 2:12 pm

it’s reallllly hippie. Basically they say that the specific type of amber promotes healing properties when warmed and worn close to the skin. Hence teething. It’s on the ankle because neck means choking.

Nitasha June 22, 2011 at 10:58 am

I have been reading for a year or so but I am a creeper and went back and read every post. I’m half Asian and 3/4 hippie and 100% shoe whore so I think we could be biffles in real life. I haven’t commented before (exhibit B of my creeper status) but I like to secretly think of myself as an honorary member of the Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club. Every time I see a new MODG post I channel my inner RHWNJ Melissa and yell “Thank you Britney!!!” while throwing kisses up at the sky. I do have a question however: Has G been courting Suri or Zahara? They may be cougars but think of the in-laws you would inherit!!!

MODG June 22, 2011 at 2:10 pm

he’s primarily interested in Zahara. Although they are both too dramatic for their own good

Danielle D. June 22, 2011 at 11:39 am

I’ve been reading you for about three months now and I’m SO glad I found this blog! I’m fairly young and don’t plan on getting pregnant for another two years, but reading your posts about the whole experience (good, bad, roids, ect.) made me feel so much more relaxed about the idea of it because you kept it real! I can’t stand all of the “oh, being pregnant is the best thing in the whole world”. Cuz lets face it, while i believe there are some good times, I also recognize how totally lame it can be. I was so happy to find someone who said this out loud but was still stoked to be pregnant. So long story short, I feel better when I read your blog. Thanks for making me laugh my ass off reading about your dirty toilets and reader confessions, much love.

Sarah June 22, 2011 at 11:44 am

I’ve been reading for almost a year now and while I don’t have a baby, am nowhere close to getting married and never was in a sorority, I bookmarked your blog bc your posts are 100% entertaining and your family is so sweet. (although i am now terrrrified to ever have a baby) I hope you write a book!

Cara June 22, 2011 at 11:59 am

I’ve been reading ever since I saw your nursery on babycenter, so about a year I think…obviously I was hooked the second I started reading. I spent the entire day reading back through all your previous posts so I could get caught up. My husband was super impressed and especially loves when I talk about you in conversation like we’re real life friends, “MODG had her baby!”, “You have to see MODG’s vagina shorts!”, you get the idea. Anyway, I think that you rock, and your blog regularly makes my day. Thanks MODG!

K.S.P.A. June 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I’ve been reading and laughing my ass off for a mere 2 months. I found this blog during my only free spare moments of me-dom when my tiny man was only 7 weeks old or so. So naturally I used my free time as a firs=time mommy to look up every single paranoid thougth I had about his sleep, poop, and milestones. Thank the Lord I found this instead and could see that I wasn’t the only one simultaneously loving my new baby and also having the hardest time of my entire life. The other blogs I only glanced at since they were in some weird second life on the internet where they pretended changing diapers, waking up a bazillion times a night, and smelling like spit-up were what they had dreamed of their whole life. I read one post, laughed for the first time in a looooong while, and knew I hearted you. I always wondered if yu had always planned on having a baby or if the idea came to you only in that last few years.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I always wanted kids.

K.S.P.A. June 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm

And yes, I now see how many typos are in that. I blame sleep deprivation.

KMW June 22, 2011 at 12:07 pm

MODG, I’ve been reading your blog for about 2 years now and absolutely DTDHC super sparkle love your blog. From confession Fridays to the random toilet item pictures contest to introducing baby G to your life. You’re so honest and candid about everything – it definitely helped me get through my first two trimesters without worrying about every.single.thing. I’d just read your blog and say – oh it’s ok. MODG had that happen too. I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of the little one here and truly thank you for your advice, experience and honesty. You should write a pregnancy book – “what mom didn’t tell you about being knocked up”. For reals.

Meli June 22, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Oh.Em.Gee! Had to type it out….because…ummmm….I KNEW ALL OF THAT ALREADY!?! What does that make me? Ohmygosh…..am I completely lame for that or do I exude sparkle glitter farts!?! Don’t answer that. Word. Go MODG!!!!!

Erin S. June 22, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I’ve been reading for about 6 months and was hooked from the start! You are hilarious and honest, plus you went to Penn State which automatically makes you awesome :)

Ruth June 22, 2011 at 12:31 pm

I’ve been reading since you won the nursery competition over at baby center (WHICH I was only looking at because YHL linked it.) But I found out you are hilarious even though your blog isn’t about decorating things.

After reading a few posts, I started at the beginning and read everything, though, so that’s basically like I’ve been reading the whole time, right?

My question IS: how do you tell people about the funny blog that you read, featuring prominently a BABY and the having thereof, without them looking at you with big eyes and asking if you are pregnant?

MODG June 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

you tell them its NOT about a baby. Tell them you read a blog primarily focused on Danny Tanner and watch their reaction.

Joanna June 22, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Started reading last year and your blog gets me through life!! xoxo

Ashley June 22, 2011 at 12:55 pm

wait, so you said 3 years you have been around here? I have been reading for 2 and I thought that was from the beginning?
well, either way-I have been reading a long time. AND, reading all that nonsense bullshit you did to get labor started taught me a lessson, so I knew to avoid it for mine :) Thanks for that. And, hpefully next time you get to experience the natural way!!

Lauren June 22, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I’ve been reading for a year and half (?). Funny shit. Yay for the book.

Sarah w June 22, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Pretty sure I started reading the day you got a blue guitar. I had to come back because someone else seems to have their husband tricked into buying them hilarious things too. Plus Danny tanner rocks my world. Xoxo

Tiffany June 22, 2011 at 1:20 pm

I’ve only been reading a few weeks but I’m loving it so far. And your placenta story grossed me out and amazed me at the same time. I’m a total Halloween/horror movie fan and I can’t believe nobody has put that in a movie yet. Geez! Come on directors, lets see some women eating their bloody placenta already.

Zoe June 22, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Just a little over 2 years… you distract me from work with your toilet humor…

MommyLisa June 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I started reading somewhere late 2009 early 2010. In May of 2010 you published my confession Friday about blue-ish and purple-ish breast milk. You also put up a picture of my friend with his hair he had his wife dye blue for his birthday prior to getting his kidney transplant. ;) That is all.

ZDub June 22, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Ahh, sweet MODG memories.

Also, yay for the VBAC, we can do this. It will totally work because you like to do everything twice as hard.

Lara June 22, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I’ve been reading for about two years (I think).

Two questions: Did the placenta taste like anything? And what are your final thoughts on that whole encapsulation thing? At the end of the blood & guts post you said you thought it was working, but in a more recent post you said you didn’t think it did anything (I think?).

Also, I have to have a c-section which is sad for me because I wanted a natural birth, but alas because of some surgery I had last year I’ll never be able to give birth vaginally. So yay for no deli meat catastrophe vagina, but boo for none of that empowering hippie chick natural delivery attended by dolphins and wood sprites shit. So. Question. C-section surgery and recovery advice?????

MODG June 22, 2011 at 3:05 pm

No couldn’t taste the placenta at all. Final thoughts on encapsulation: I was taking to prevent post partum depression. I still had postpartum depression. So I don’t really know….

Sorry about your c section. My recovery was great. Best advice, get out of bed the next day and walk. Your recovery will be so much faster.

A June 22, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I’ve been reading for like 4 months or so? I had to start from the beginning because you made me pee a little bit when i would read your posts. Also, I was scared of being pregnant before I started reading. Now the thought makes me want to cry. Anyway, so far I’ve turned 3 people on to your blog. You’re welcome. And way to go, we all love the blog here in St. Louis – I hope the interwebs is giving you back some love in the form of money (same thing, right?).

Big Red June 22, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Been reading for a few months now…officially finished reading all archived posts the other day at work. Yes, I’m sure my employers are highly impressed with my stellar slacking skills. Favorite post has to be a tie between the butt plug(s) and any and all Confessions Friday posts. The hubs loved the drawing of the boob vs. bottle milk war last week. Love, love, love the blog and will continue to read the last 6 months worth of posts for free birth control whenever I see a child and think oh that would be fun, we should have one of those.

M. June 22, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Almost 2 years. It’s a daily must to stop by the MODG blog now. And when there isn’t a new post I find myself rereading old posts. I love it here.

Erin June 22, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Cliffs notes! Great idea. I’m totes gonna do this when my blog gets famous, too (HA). I’ve been reading you since I found you a few weeks ago at Aiming Low, like a little gem. You’re one of my new favorites — love your humor. The penis fungus post slayed me.

Heather@Mama_Sass June 22, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I’ve been reading for close to 2 years. Now I have my very own 6 week old drama baby who has poop issues and I am re reading all your boob tribulations. We are dairy free for now. Hopefully it ends there. If I have to do the elimination diet I will lose my shit.

Meagan@mega7827 June 22, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I’ve been reading forever. Can I be president of the Danny tanner double hearts club?

MODG June 22, 2011 at 8:36 pm

well, who would your running mate be? I’ll allow you to run in the election.

Leslie June 22, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I’ve been reading 3 or 4 months, maybe. Found your blog by way of the placenta post when I was pregnant. I went back and read a LOT of old posts. But this one still hit a bunch of stuff I didn’t know about, so thanks. My baby is 5 weeks old now. Here’s my question. What’s your advice for finding other mom friends? Is your BF-ing group LLL or something else? I was thinking about going to a LLL meeting… but I dunno. I’m afraid I’m not hippie enough and they’ll judge me.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 8:35 pm

definitely go to a breastfeeding group. It’s where I met all of my friends. It’s a judge free zone. Promise.

R June 22, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I have been reading the whole time, following the whole saga. It started when my work bestie told me that this totally hilarious crazy girl she knew from sorority life started a blog… It’s been a wild ride.

I don’t have any questions (other than does B care that you tell the world about his smelliness?), but I love how honest you have been, even during the super hard times. You are so much more interesting to read than 99.9% of the mom bloggers in the world (I’ll even give you better than everyone except Dooce, who I maybe, possibly, most definitely have a huge girl crush on, but that’s neither here nor there). Keep it up.

MODG June 22, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I asked B about this tonight. He said “Naaah don’t care”

Lin June 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm

I have been reading for about 6-7 months. Right around the time you had baby G. I was newly el pregnito and was looking for interesting mommy blogs to read. you were linked to another mom blog and i liked your name. i immediately devoured your blog in one night because it was december in alaska and wtf else am i gonna do. now my sisters, mom, cousins and aunt all read you. just wanted to let you know i have two keekers (cats) as well and we adopted them while we were living in japan, our cats could be related. how do your cats like baby G? i’m kinda worried for when my little guy comes home that we are gonna have major issues. did they have any i hate you and baby G pee parties? you forgot to mention cat acne, pirate eye and that charlie is the best baby product tester out there! dtdhc 4 life!

Lin June 22, 2011 at 9:59 pm

i also forgot to mention that my cat Alfy (don’t let your husband name anything! it’s a female cat and she was named after alf because he liked to eat cats), really has only one eye. she was straight up thug 4 life when we got her. now she’s fat and cries for fancy feast all day.

MODG June 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm

MY FIRST CAT WAS NAMED ALFY.

Lin June 24, 2011 at 1:25 am

HOLY SPARKLE SAMSIES DANNY TANNER!

SusanL June 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm

I’ve been reading for a couple of weeks now.. Can’t remember how I found your blog, I’m sure it was in one of my internet black holes of clicking on random blogs and seeing where they take me (otherwise known as Saturdays around here, ahem.) Love, love, love your pregnancy posts. I’m currently obsessing/ not obsessing about trying to get pregnant, (mostly just obsessing) and I just about cried when I read your “pee on sticks at lunchtime” post. Yeah, that sounds corny, but true because I totally do the same thing. Anyhow, sparkles to you, and thanks for being awesome.

Kelly June 22, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I’ve been an avid stalker, I mean reader for about 2 years. I even have my mom addicted. She will call and say, “have you read MODG’s latest post!!”

I have twins that are 5 months old, so I enjoy reading about you and G :)

Erica June 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

I’ve been reading you since October….took a long, boring rainy day at work to catch up in all that is MODG and I’m hooked…

Lindsay June 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I probably started reading a week or two ago when I saw MODG recommended on Man Wife and Dog. I had been searching for a good newlywed/housewife blog to get into since there is definitely a void in my life now that I’m off of the wedding blogs. Unfortunately, there is no database for such and thing and I had trouble finding anything I could relate to until I found MODG. At first I just started reading the most recent posts before I realized that there was more backstory that I should know. I just started reading the very beginning and I’m on December 2009. It’s so weird to find someone and listen to all the things they say and feel like they think and sound so much like yourself. I’ve been wanting to start a blog forever and yours is so inspiring but it’s intimidating too, because it’s so good and you really have your voice all figured out and it looks so professional that I don’t even know where I would start. I like this little recap you just did- sort of reminded me of the Unseen Moments of OC Housewives show haha.

I really enjoy reading about your love of Britney and Suri and wine all the other things I like too, but mainly I am so fascinated because I am 26 and I just got married in January, and my husband is already in baby mode. We both know it’s not the right time for us yet but then I see a baby and I feel a pang in my ovaries like “OMG I WANT ONE I WANT ONE RIGHT NOW.” Even though I don’t see babies in my immediate future, I feel like I’ve learned so many things from you already that no woman has ever told me about childbirth or child-rearing. Thank you for sharing with everyone. I look forward to reading the rest of your posts, because I’m still at the point where I don’t know if you’ll ever have a kid (and I know what happens!).

Also if you ever want to do a “recap” style post where you talk about how you really started your blog (like some of the technical stuff) and give some pointers to those out there that aspire to do something like this themselves (without stealing your sparkle thunder, of course!) I think that would be cool. Or you know, just keep being you and being awesome with your posts, that’s cool too. If I ever get it together and start my own blog, maybe I’ll post it in a comment to you and you’ll read mine someday too. Thanks, Amanda.

Cara June 22, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Okay, I already commented, but now I thought of the question I wanted to ask before but promptly forgot when I was typing my comment (pregnancy brain). Hypnobabies…would you recommend? I’m due in October and really wanting to have a natural birth. I am leaning towards hypnobabies, but would love your honest feedback on it. Did you look into any other natural birth methods?

MODG June 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm

yes i would recommend. But you have to be psycho about it and do it EVERY DAY

Carla June 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I’ve been reading since your nursery was on Ohdeedoh, AKA not long enough. Thanks for the cliffs notes! I really appreciate your hippy with a dose of reality parenting style – you rock and make me laugh :)

Rebecca June 22, 2011 at 10:57 pm

The first post I ever read was where you f’d up dinner and were supposedly a crappy wife. It made me feel like I wasn’t such a screw up, and it made me snort wine through my nose. So, I’ve read your blog like every day since then. I credit you with 3 big things in my life: 1. Accepting cats into my home (my boyfriend really wanted one, and now we have 2 and I love them and they <3 me more than my bf…booyah), 2. Dealing with mandatory frequent trips from my home in NYC to the Philly area (I convince myself I'll probs run into you and we'll become BFFs, and that makes me not pull my hair out), and 3. Introducing ZDub to my life (I heart her blog so much, too!).

As for questions: When do we get some more Suri Cruise up in this joint? I mean, not for nothing, but that girl is bitchier than ever, and I for one could use a dose of that shizz. Seriously?: http://www.celebitchy.com/161525/suri_cruise_has_a_150000_shoe_collection_including_kid-sized_louboutins/

xoxo

MODG June 23, 2011 at 7:37 pm

she’s just not as bitchy as I remember. I miss toddler suri.

ahnika June 22, 2011 at 11:16 pm

here’s a question for you. say you had a crazy mother in law. and you could write novels on the absurd things she says and does. but you have a filter because said MIL reads your blog. regularly. what the hell do you do?

Vivi June 23, 2011 at 2:33 am

My bestfriend and I have been reading for a half a year and are completely obsessed. Sparklers, Danny Tanner, and G are a part of our daily vocab. Keep this shit up, your a badass! This is coming from a pretty badass 21 year old, ME. Seriously though, you rule. Look forward to your future posts!

PS- We love taking toilet pics in your honor….one day we’ll send them your way. They’re legit.

sparkles and glitter for life
-V

Michelle June 23, 2011 at 8:21 am

I’ve been reading since your room won the contest on Ohdeedoh! I linked over and immediately added you to my google reader. Then when you posted your wedding album, I realized that we wore the same wedding dress! i had my baby a few months after yours, also by Cesarean Birth after doing the hypnobabies childbirth prep. I am ALSO cloth diapering with Bumgenius dipes, and we LOVE it. I am also eating my placenta, and discovering that Dr. Sears doesn’t know all (especially when it comes to babies sleeping). So I would think that we are twin sisters or something, except that I’m black.

Stephanie June 23, 2011 at 9:51 am

My sister introduced me to your blog about a month or two ago. She just had her second in February and said “I know you don’t have kids, but it’s not all about that”. So I read whatever you had posted that day and immediately fell in love!!! So much so – that all stalker like I went back to the very beginning and read it like a freakin book!! I read it on the metro (I live in DC, come down and let’s be friends), at work, after work, in bed. Laughed out loud way to much that my fiance would just say “Reading that blog again?” Anyways, I think you are hilarious and honest and I am totally in love. If you are still looking for book ideas, I think you should definitely write about the pregnancy aspect and all the things you tried and what worked and what FAILED. Because on more than one occasion I found myself saying “I need to try that when I am pregnant/have kids” and have decided I will go back and find those posts. I think it’s all really helpful and you do it in such an honest and hilarious way that doesn’t make it terrifying.

Liz June 30, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I am said sister/MODG stalker-I mean loyal reader. I knew all of those things listed in the MODG cliff notes even though I’ve only been following a couple months. I too have gone back and read every single post. (Can I be part of the DTDHC even though I found the hidden link a little late?)
As other people have mentioned, I talk about you to my husband as if we are bffs (eye roll from husband) and I think you have an awesome way about you, MODG, that can make so many strangers feel that way about you. Any publisher should be lucky to have you as one of their writers. Can’t wait to see the book! I’m buying!

Liz June 30, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Question: is there a way to be notified of a new post from you other than FB and Twitter?

K June 23, 2011 at 10:10 am

I’ve been reading for ~2 months and when I get the chance am planning to go back and catch up on older posts. Thanks for the many laughs – I only wish Baby G was older than my son (who is 10.5 months) so I could see you go through everything BEFORE I do instead of afterwards. I am with you 100% on your love for Danny Tanner. But I’m curious how you feel about Bob Saget outside his Danny Tanner role – personally, while I appreciate DT and some vulgar humor (hence my appreciation for your blog), I am not a fan of BS. You?
Thanks again and please keep it up!

MODG June 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

I HATE BOB SAGET.

IheartMODG June 23, 2011 at 10:53 am

Reading for about 2 months now. I think you’d be internet best friends with these girls too. They’re also in love-slash-having a blog war with you. What’s your favorite planet? Mine’s the sun. http://bitchinsisters.wordpress.com/

MODG June 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

hmm favorite planet is soleil moonfry

Stacy June 23, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I started reading back when your nursery was all over the internet. At that point, I was a few months pregnant and looking for some inspiration. Young House Love said your language was salty and I was sold. BTW, my baby is 6 weeks now and I have a feeling that he’ll never sleep in his room. What a waste of months of internet research and much cash.

I believed you when you said you were part Asian. I feel like a fool.

DoMo June 23, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I’ve been reading since after you were preggo & before you went to Europe. I’m sure you remember the date better than me – ~1 year.

Harbormon June 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I’ve been reading since before preggers; before the Shoe Club; before the online fight with the wedding reception/photo stealer; before lots of other stuff. From today’s post, I’d say I came on board not too long after you began your blog. Love. It. (even though I’m an old woman)

Julie June 23, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I found you two Decembers ago when I was googling “tablescape” and stumbled upon posts about your winter sparkle party. then I read the post about the master cleanse poop and found out I was not alone. it’s been modgblog love ever since.

KB June 23, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Reading your funny shit for two months. I get so happy when you post, is that sad? Yes?

Clarissa Ramirez June 23, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Reading for about 6months, I was trying to find a cool mom blog to read since I was about 6 months preggo at the time. They were all about my baby spit up **camera click** awww…my baby is taking a nap **audience sigh** my baby just had a bowel movement….(Really no pics?? BTW, love that you displayed such a prime example of baby poop, it wasn’t over the line IMO) then I clicked on a link that sent me to this rare gem of a blog and the Heaven’s opened up and sent me a sparkle encrusted Asian Italian who also thought Suri Cruise was in it for world domination in the form of MODG…I started from the first post and worked my way through because I wanted to keep the present a surprise at the time, and I loved every minute of it!

Kristin June 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Hmm…I’ve been reading here and there for a year maybe. I, sadly forget about MODG and then remember and then I spend like 2 hours catching up. So when you see “user X time spent on MODGBLOG seventeen hours and 43 minutes today” and think wow, that’s really creepy, it’s just me catching up.

Our Growing Garden

Melissa June 23, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Been reading for about 2 years (or is 2 1/2…i’m bad with time). Found you through Shoe Dazzle’s facebook page! You commented on a photo and I figured, I gotta read her blog. Been hooked ever since, promoting you among my friends. MODG for life bitches.

*sparkle love wrapped in Danny Tanner hugs*

Michelle June 23, 2011 at 8:16 pm

I’ve been reading for about 1.5 years, while still at PSU and your famousness got around. I spent the whole first night reading through old posts with my roommates and now you are what keeps me entertained/american while in the Peace Corps. Excellent.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic June 23, 2011 at 10:11 pm

I’ve been here long enough to remember the glorious time that was Confession Friday – it got me through my work week and then when I won I was over the moon… frankly I still am. It’s an honor badge and I love it. I guess it’s been 2 years? I feel bad that I’ve lost count but to be fair I have forgotten my anniversary with my fiance 2 times now so don’t ever take it personally…

I’m so happy to see your blog always evolving it keeps us on our toes. Keep it up girl!

*SUPER SURI DANNY TANNER SPARKLES UNICORNS AND BRITNEY LOVE TO YOU*

[with a splash of PEE on a Tank] ox

Elizabeth June 23, 2011 at 11:15 pm

I’ve been reading for like 6 mths. I found your blog after seeing your nursery on oh dee doh. I don’t read any blogs of people I don’t know except yours. I also had to go back to the beginning because all the Asian and Brittney references were confusing me. It took forever but I’ve read pretty much all your posts. My husband thinks it’s weird but I tell him it’s like a good novel! I love your blog and check it every night before bed. If I ever saw you in person I’d ask for your autograph. That’s how cool and famous I think you are.

Question: Does everyone in your life know about your bog? What do they think about it? Also, what’s the book status?

Yegi June 24, 2011 at 10:53 pm

My little sis told me about this funny blog about a year ago, and even though I don’t “do” blogs, i was hooked! And EVEN though I was in the midst of the HE’LL known as the first two months as a new mommy, my OCD kicked in and I had to start at the beginning…with my baby strapped to me. So glad I did that so none of the Asian suri sparkle Danny tanner hippie fart marshmallow toilet humor is lost on me…

Jamie June 28, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I came across your blog from some preppy chick who liked your page on facebook. Needless to say, I have been rolling on the floor laughing ever since. It is nice to find someone with the same crude sense of humor – especially when it comes to motherhood. Thanks!

Jilly- J's Mom June 29, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I’ve been reading this blog since December. The first post I read was your birth story part 2 I think. I think I was on babycenter in the Feb 2011 group and someone posted a comment linking your blog. They were saying we should check the blog out since you had a funny way of explaining….. something I can’t remember. Anyways, I have to say my favorite posts of all time, are The Cleanse Was No Longer Clean, the one about those rocket things you stuck up your ass and it broke off, and my absolute FAVORITE was the one that I CANNOT FIND anymore. So here is where I need your help modg. Somehow you figured out what people googled to find your blog. One was like “drink salt stop fart” and u sorta addressed them a little sentiment regarding what they googled. Please link it for me….. I will share it with the world!

Do u see a recurring theme in my favorites? Hmm….

GPJJ73 August 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Hey MODG,
Wow. That was a long scroll-down. Thanks for the re-cap. Came here through the recent famousness of boobs post and love the blog. Went back to the very beginning to read every post in time machine styles but got lazy and craving of baby news. This helps. Shine on you crazy diamond.

trish October 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm

i have no idea HOW i ended up on this page but i absolutely LOVE it! you brightened up my day today and hopefully many more!

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