I'm funny

My butt doesn’t lie.

March 15, 2011

News: I’m peeing out of my butt. We’re going on a solid 12 hours now. I think I either ate a bug or have food poisoning. Or both. But eating a bug is probably the worst thing I could imagine. Because then I think about the bug surviving the trip into my stomach and feeding off of my turkey and rice pieces and oh yeah the bug was pregnant and then gives birth to a million bugs and then they grow to abnormal sizes and distend my stomach until they burrow out through my skin. But I’m sure everyone thinks about that.

Back to my butt. The last time I peed out of my butt was when I was in labor. The time before that was the cleanse. And they told me on the cleanse that if you think you have to fart DON’T because it’s not a fart. I didn’t listen and made a very bad mistake. Well I learned my lesson this time. No farts. But I’m seriously ready to lose my mind. I’m still doing the goddamn elimination diet for breastfeeding where I eat turkey, rice, potatoes, squash and grapes. Like that’s IT. I’m going on 4 weeks of this.  There are so few things that I can eat and last night the food gods thought it would be extra funny to make one of them murder my insides.

I didn’t think the diet was helping G’s stomach until a lactation consultant told me to screw it and just eat whatever I wanted. She probably didn’t mean to come home and eat 2 handfuls of gummy candy, a gardenburger, a bowl of pasta with red sauce, girl scout cookies and toast…in 10 minutes. But that’s how I saw it. Let’s just say that night baby G basically turned into a fart rocket. I felt so guilty that I went right back on the turkey rice bullshit.

my poor little purple fart rocket

Then I slipped up. I accidentally used the soy earth balance instead of the soy free, just a little. And bam, baby G, totally sick again. And just when I thought he was getting better and I decided to start introducing foods slowly, like strawberries, bam. Sick baby. So I’m discouraged. And peeing out of my butt. Did I mention that?

I’m doing literally all I can to help the little G, but it’s getting discouraging and hard and I just don’t know how to make it better. I’ll be totally honest, this is the first time I’m questioning breast feeding and if it’s the right thing for us. I just don’t want to push it if it’s making him sick. But it breaks my heart to think about stopping and finding a formula that doesn’t make a soy/dairy/air we breathe intolerant baby, happy.

However, I’ve lost like 90 lbs doing this. And with the butt pee you can probably make that 92lbs. For the breast feeders out there, have you dealt with this before? It’s like he’s 80% gas and 20% baby.

I apologize to the readers interested in shoes, toilets and drinking. This post is not that. Give me a butt pee pass though and come back again.



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  • Allison Zapata March 15, 2011 at 10:34 am

    I hate to be one of those women that all the other breastfeeding advocates hate…but why don’t you just try a little formula and see what happens?

    • Sarah vL March 15, 2011 at 10:59 am

      I kind of want to agree, only because it sounds like you’re suffering big time and baby G isn’t winning, either. I highly, highly recommend the Nutramigen formula. It’s unrealistically expensive, but the colicky baby that I nannied for went from breast milk to this, and went from colicky baby to angel. In like, a day.

      It (formula in general) might not be a terrible thing to try? Just to see? I support you whatever you end up doing. xo

      • Sunny March 15, 2011 at 11:36 am

        THIS is the special formula I posted to u about previously. Both my children refused the breast…. I had none pretty much and they couldn’t latch on so we went to formula and instant sick both of them…. So we had some tests run and turns out they were both like G and couldn’t tolerate anything basically and had reflux so we had tummy meds and were put on this formula and they were perfect after that. It smells awful but it helped them so much. And side note they’ve both grown out of that and can eat anything so it goes away eventually. Good luck and we support u. Yes breast is the best for MOST babies. G just happens to be in the smaller percentile. If it’s making the both of u I’ll then he is clearly NOT getting the benefits breast feeding is supposed to provide. It’s ur baby and ur life and u know what’s best for the two of u.

      • Amy March 15, 2011 at 11:37 am

        I totally agree with Sarah. I have two kiddos and both of them were experiencing terrible gas pains, etc with my breast milk. I knew that breast milk was the best for them but MY breast milk certainly wasn’t. My doctor advised me to cut out all dairy, caffeine, anything that would give me gas, etc and even that didn’t work. After six weeks of hell with my first — we started Nutramigen and it worked like a dream! It is expensive but it is worth it not having your little one suffer. When my second child came along– we again began breastfeeding but he started exhibiting the same symptoms that my daughter had and we immediately switched him to Nutramigen. Again, it worked like a charm. Bottom line is don’t feel bad if your breast milk isn’t what the baby needs. You provided his happy home for 9 months of his growth and he is just perfect. Try the Nutramigen — both you and baby will be so happy you did!!!!
        PS. many times your pediatrician office has samples of the nutramigen from the drug reps. Ask your ped if they will give you a couple of cans to try.

  • Winn March 15, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Ooh, you poor poor thing! I’m sending sparkly cyber-hugs.

    It sounds like it’s a big part of the soy that is making him sick. And it sounds like the elimination diet is working for him. It hasn’t turned him into a butterfly-spouting-rainbow-puppy, but less gas is still better, right?

    Hope it gets better soon. I don’t have any advice because you are so far beyond my level of expertise, now. You the woman! 😉

  • Glamorous Newlywed March 15, 2011 at 10:41 am

    I am so sorry! I don’t really have any advice, as my own little gas-monkey isn’t here yet… but hang in there, and hold onto the thought that at least he will be eating solid foods fairly soon???

  • Daisy March 15, 2011 at 10:42 am

    I’m not a Mom so I recognize my opinion is probably the most useless if you were making a spectrum or scale of useless assvice from people on the Internet, but HEY, here I am anyway, with my useless assvice! I’m not really anti or pro formula or breast feeding, more just “whatever works for you” without judgment, because everyone deserves to do what is best for them. And maybe breastfeeding IS best for you, but right now you have me worried your glitter is flaking off and the sparkles have vacated the premises. Baby G deserves a happy mama, and right now you have to spend your days worrying about whether or not you used the right Earth Balance instead of figuring out which of the neighborhood Moms are suitable for wine and cheese playdates. Which seems…sucky. So I’d advocate doing some formula research to see if you can find something that makes all of you rest a little bit easier. (Also, and if this has been suggested then just don’t even bother reading this, but has Baby G been checked out for a milk protein allergy? Just thought. If he has then feel free to delete this comment and mock me without mercy.)

  • Heather March 15, 2011 at 10:44 am

    I breastfed my second son for about 3.5 months before we had to try something new, he is now perfectly happy on similac sensitive.
    He had some reflux issues and is actually on baby zantec for that too. But my little screamer doesn’t scream really anymore, he sleeps better, and is generally a happier little guy.
    I totally understand how you want to keep breastfeeding, I did too. But I decided to make the change and it’s been better for both of us. (in fact our whole family, my husband and other son appreciate the smiley baby more than the screamer – he was stressing out everyone)

  • JMGB March 15, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Oh my that sounds horrible! I just wanted to let you know that I am clinging to your blog right now as I stumble through sleep deprivation, leaky boobs, nipple shields, pumping and poo madness with my new baby boy! I have loved reading your past posts and recently made my husband read the one about your placenta pills in the middle of our lamaze class which caused him to laugh out loud and then receive a glare from the instructor. Too bad lady, class was boooooorrrinnnggg and we didn’t use any of it as my boy was breech, four weeks early and delivered via c-section after my water broke at 230am…12 hours I will never get back.

  • Sarah RDH March 15, 2011 at 10:47 am

    my daughter is dairy & soy free as well. she is 14 months, and recently had her allergy tests, and she is actually allergic to both. so. up until age age 1 (a true allergy cant be proved until after age 1, the tests just aren’t as accurate in babies) she was on nutramigen, (thinking she was just intolerant to the protein), which she did GREAT on. now that she is over 1, and is allergic for reals, she was recently switched to elecare vanilla by her allergist. the vanilla version is the kind that is for over age 1. there is another for under. elecare is an elemental formula- so no dairy or soy proteins, it is strictly elemental. amino acids only, no proteins for baby’s sensitive belly to break down. i’m telling you, the transformation for us was night & day. my daughter did not sleep through the night until a month ago when we put her on the elecare!!!! over a year of sleepless nights!! kill me. i seriously was getting up with her anywhere from 7-10 times a night. SERIOUSLY. i know its a hard deciison to make for you, but i wanted to tell your our experience…and to tell you it really doesn’t doe snot matter how youe baby gets his nutrition, as long as he is happy & healthy. before these formulas, we were neither happy or healthy. hope that helps.

    • Sarah RDH March 15, 2011 at 10:49 am

      oh- and the elecare is also VERY EXPENSIVE. something to thi9nk about….if you get it off their website, its $204 for a case of 6 cans- like 12 oz cans. (the vanilla price, not sure if the infant version is the same??) but i’ve been getting mine off ebay in factory sealed boxes, usually about $114 for 6 cans. MUCH cheaper!

  • Jennifer March 15, 2011 at 10:48 am

    I went through this when my baby was first born. He was completely happy and fine until he’d eat and then he was gassy and misrable through the WHOLE digestive process. Completely misrable for both of us. I tried everything and nothing worked. I eventually had to switch to formula after six weeks of breast feeding because I felt so bad for him. But that didn’t help either. His tummy was so sensitive. We finally found something that worked (with the help of some Rx meds). It was pretty rough for a few months. But he just turned one, and things are much better. I know how it feels to be so frustrated when you all you want to do is make sure your baby is ok. Hang in there. It will get better. I promise.

  • Luz March 15, 2011 at 10:48 am

    I’ve tried commenting like 5 million times with my iPhone and this is not working!!!! Aghhhh! Here goes….I’m all for breastfeeding and being skinny, BUT, girl you need to eat real food. How about you give him some formula with your breastmilk and see how that goes? I know how you feel about breastfeeding, trust me, I was the same way, but seriously, you are going to disappear! And you can’t disappear on us!

  • Erin March 15, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Do you have overactive letdown? My breastmilk squirted out like crazy and this caused my son a lot of issues. He was super gassy and cranky. So what I did was squeeze my boob and let out some of the milk before he latched on and this helped a lot.

  • Leah March 15, 2011 at 10:55 am

    What if you pumped and froze it for a few days while you try out the formula? Try it on a weekend so that B can do the bottle feeding while you pump. That’s what we did and didn’t see a change, so I went back to breastfeeding, but at least you know then whether it’ll help or not.

    • Mo March 16, 2011 at 6:30 pm

      This is a good idea, I think.

      I am a serious breastfeeding mom-I’m currently breastfeeding mine (about a month younger than yours). He is a selective gas bag, and that is tough enough. If I was dealing with what you are dealing with, I would check out the formula avenues, too, just to find out, becaue OMG.

      Keep trying things-you will find something that works!
      *hugs to you and your fart rocket*

  • Rachel March 15, 2011 at 10:56 am

    I have dealt with this, not to this extent, but with changing your diet because of your babys allergies. My thoughts are if my baby is allergic to milk protein, how freaking hard and expensive would it be to try to find a formula that fits my baby? We did get C on some meds that helped her reflux and I cut out the dairy out my diet and about 6 months later, she had grown out of it. And then I got to eat cheese again. I can’t tell you what is best for you and G and your sanity, but you are NOT alone and there are tons of mamas out there who have been through the same thing.

  • Aja March 15, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Yikes. Butt pee.. however, way to lose 92lbs the easy way. 😉
    I might have mentioned this to you before, but try probiotics. You can take a pill and G can take the kind for babies. It’s a powder (get a dairy-free kind) that he can lick off your finger or nipple. They seriously help with overall digestion and intestinal health. You can find them at health food stores.
    One other thing- have you considered taking him to a chiropractor? We started taking my little girl (3 1/2 mo) about a week ago and she is seriously so much happier. I also quit eating dairy at this time, so double whammy in the happy department. I was scared of the chiropractor lady at first, but she just gently pushed on 3 places on her back, using only her fingertips. We haven’t had a scary, red-faced screaming incident since then. I don’t know how, but the nervous system is somehow connected to the digestive system and whateveritworks. Here’s a site to find one that does pediatrics: http://icpa4kids.org/Find-a-Chiropractor/

  • ashlee archibald March 15, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Hi, I miss you and I love you :)

    Um I breastfed isaac til he was 4 month old. I got post partum and decided that instead of wanting to throw my children, something had to give. I stopped nursing isaac. It seriously was the best decision I have ever made. I’m pro-breastfeeding, green mama, let’s frolic in the daisy field under the rainbows.. But I’m more pro-mama and if mama aint happy, no one is happy! :) it is YOUR choice and you need to do what is good for you. Baby boy deserves a happy healthy mama more then anything. Hope this helps a little! Xoxox

  • Ashley March 15, 2011 at 11:06 am

    To this end you have to do what works for you. Besides I’m sure there are some total d-bags out there who were breastfed babies and some awesome genius folks who were formula fed. All will be well because you are a rockstar mom that cares. I say having a healthy happy mom is the best thing you could ever give G!

  • Lauren March 15, 2011 at 11:08 am

    One of the best things anyone ever said to me was that I needed to find a solution (regarding feeding the baby) that worked best for us and not worry about being so “by the book.” This was as I beat myself up for not being able to breastfeed and really made a difference as I relaxed a little about the whole thing.
    Also if you try formula you need to go a good 5 days or so before you judge how it’s working (from experience and our pediatrician), and I would strongly suggest pumping to avoid engorgement which was AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL.
    Good luck!

  • Eunice March 15, 2011 at 11:08 am

    I’m all about feeding boob, but it sounds like both of you are pretty miserable. As long as you’re experimenting, I don’t think it could hurt to try formula. But, this is coming from a non-baby person. I hope your butt pee stops.

  • Ashley March 15, 2011 at 11:21 am

    I read a blog awhile back from a woman you had a similar situation. She hated the thought of switching to formula but she did it for her sanity and her son’s health. She researched making goat’s milk formula and she made up a batch everyday with goat’s milk from a local farm. I’m sure you could find some recipes doing some research and it is healthier than formula from a can (or so I’ve heard, I’m no expert). Maybe you can get your own goat and milk it… (haha)

  • Rebecca March 15, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Oh poor Modg’s butt! I’m sooo sorry your having such a difficult time.

    K, here’s my two cents. I went through a similar thing with my 3rd child. All I had to do was look at regular yummy non turkey and yucky rice, and bam! She would be super uncomfortable fartty screaming evil baby. I had breast fed my previous two spawn with no problems, so I was like WTF? I did everything I could, and still fartty evil baby would return. After months of this, I gave in. I took the pediatricians advice after breaking down in her office and bawling myself like a fartty evil baby. We switched to formula, and I’m not gonna lie. At first it was just as hard to find the “right” one. After much trial and error we went with a lactose free, hypo- friggin expensive, astronauts live on this shit formula. Then came the evil three headed mommy guilt monster. But you know what? She’s a beautiful, bossy, 4 year old princess now, with or without boobie milk. All that matters is that mommy and baby are healthy and happy.

    So whatever you decide, just know that your not alone. More than likely there’s another mommy who’s already gone through it, or one who’s going through it now. Hugs!!!

  • Drew March 15, 2011 at 11:22 am

    I feel so bad for you, it seems like you and Baby G just can’t catch a break lately. :-(
    I don’t have children but I have watched my SIL breastfeed 2 kids and the first one was something else… I can tell you that had it been me she would have been on formula faster than you can blink. At some point you have to look at your quality of life and the baby’s because if you’re both having bad days all the time then it’s just not worth it (IMO). You’ve done really well breastfeeding for this long considering the challenges you faced and that damn elimination diet! (I would be a cranky $%#^& if I had to eat that everyday, all day.)

    Hope things start looking up soon.

  • M March 15, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Oh MODG. So sorry. Avid fan of breastfeeding here…..but first and foremost a fan of happy Mom’s and happy babies. Were it me? I would give it one week. I would get the super duper free of everything pay out the ass expensive formula, feed him it for one straight week, and marry myself to my pump. I would pump every 3 hours round the clock and freeze every freaking ounce (while doing the elimination diet) for that week.

    It won’t be fun. But if you find that he is as miserable on the magic formula juice, you go back to nursing and you have a great freezer stash for when you go out. If he is happier and healthier on the formula ~ well, there you go.

    Hang in there.

    • lacey March 17, 2011 at 9:13 pm

      Yes yes yes. Exactly exactly exactly. This is such an excellent suggestion because (pardon me while I point out the obvious) it protects against the starting-on-formula, losing-supply, never-able-to-go-back thing. Yes!

  • Kelly March 15, 2011 at 11:31 am

    I literally can’t stop laughing. You say all the things that everyone else wants to say, but is scared to. I have to say that my twin boys were SO much happier on formula. I was PRO breastfeeding and I still am. I read a 400 pg book on breastfeeding and was not going to change to formula….however, my little boys had something else in mind. Like acid reflux, and screaming so hard and loud that I couldn’t take them anywhere.

    For my sanity and their health, we put them on Nutramigen aka Liquid Gold. Because it costs as much as gold. They are SO much happier. They immediately changed and became normal, loving babies. Now they are 7 months old, and we are weaning them off the medicine they were taking for the acid reflux and they are so different.

    As much as I hated making the decision to switch to formula, because I wanted to breastfeed so bad, it was well worth it. I hope whatever you choose, that you find some sort of sanity – and I hope the butt peeing stops. That’s got to be terrible.

    • Kelly March 15, 2011 at 11:33 am

      Oh, and by the way, I continued to pump, stored the breastmilk in the freezer, and fed them breastmilk once their bellies were more developed – around 5 months. So, you can still give him the breastmilk, but wait a little while until his belly becomes more “normal.”

      • Anna F March 15, 2011 at 12:00 pm

        Ditto on the pump, freeze and save for later deal. My Gavin screamer baby man, had the same kinda deal. I ended up switching to half formula and half bmilk for as long as I could supply the milk. Unfortunately, after pumping exclusively for two weeks, my milk dried up. For some people pumps just don’t compare to baby. But, I did save some bmilk in the freezer and gave it to my babe when he started to catch a cold and it really helped. So stock up while you can.

        Also, butt pee is the worst. I can sympathize as my stomach hates like Gavin babies hate __________ (insert nearly anything here).

      • lacey March 17, 2011 at 11:13 pm

        Oh wait I take it back. The last suggestion was awesome, but this one is even better. So much stored breastmilk! And a mom hopefully still ready to breastfeed when he’s older! Wonderful! You could even label your milk by elimination-diet milk and non-elimination diet milk… that way you could not have to be on the diet all the time, and justify that in the name of later baby-tummy-experimentation. Yes?

        Sorry for not reading all the comments and thus probably repeating things.

  • Stacie March 15, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Things I would try:
    1) Chiropractic adjustment for Baby G. (Find one with a reference and who specializes in babies)
    2) Pumping first minute and then letting Baby G attach. Sometimes overabundance of foremilk can cause gas. At least I found that to be true for my daughter.
    3) PROBIOTICS!!! This is a gut issue with you and the baby. Both of you need to be on them STAT.
    For infants, I’ve tried them ALL and this is the best one I’ve found:
    This company is helpful. Email them the problems you are having and ask them what they would recommend for you.

    I hate you are going through this. I went through it with my first and now my second baby who is nursing just broke out in head to toe eczema. So, that means shitty elimination diet for me. Terrific.

    • Stacie March 15, 2011 at 11:42 am

      But…if in another week or two this isn’t better then DO try formula. Millions of millions of babies have done just fine with it. Looking back at that first year with my daughter, I probably should have tried formula. I KILLED myself in the name of trying to do “what I thought was right”.
      I say keep trying to help him while nursing but give yourself a stop date. Maybe like three weeks from now? And if it is still terrible, then get thee some formula and never look back!

    • Sarah March 16, 2011 at 12:02 pm

      Stacie we use the same probiotics for my sensitive-to-every-food-ever, colicky, wake-every-hour little girl. I wish I’d found it when she was a baby but I thought she was a “normal” baby and didn’t realize that she was so uncomfortable! We started them when she was around 2 and it made a HUGE difference. The girl had some SERIOUS digestion issues that are pretty much totally gone now, and she can eat a pretty normal diet. Totally recommend chiro and probiotics and pumping.

  • katie March 15, 2011 at 11:50 am

    I normally read the other comments before I comment, but I changed my mind this time. Talk to your pediatrician and have them put in for you to see a pediatric allergist. They can (and will with your persistence) test for food allergies at this age. It will at least give you a solid answer whether it’s allergies or not. It might take awhile to get in to see the allergist, until then I would keep up the diet knowing there’s an end point in the near future. (whether you would stop breastfeeding cus he’s allergic to everything on this planet or he’s not allergic to anything.) On the bright side if Baby G does have food allergies he could grow out of them in like 6 months because he’s so young.

    • KZ March 15, 2011 at 1:28 pm

      At this age, allergy testing is inconclusive. All tests may come back negative but that does not mean that there is not allergy present.

      • katie March 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm

        Our allergist advised us that while you can most certainly get a false positive you never get a false negative. So yes, the results might be off the charts with positives, but the negatives will definitely be negative. And there is always the possibility that with Baby G’s developing immune system he could develop an allergy soon after the test. But a skin test is non-invasive, not painful and an easy way to rule out some of the biggies (milk, soy, egg, etc.) If anything it’s just slightly uncomfortable with the cold drops of liquid on his back. (I am no expert, just repeating what our doc said and throwing in my advice.)

  • Lynziee March 15, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Looks like they have a free coupon for a sample of that nutramigen if you decide to try it. I’ve never used it but it sounds like many use it and it works good. Plus they claim it reduces colic within 48 hours! Good luck.


  • Kate March 15, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I don’t normally post comments on your blog, but I’ve really enjoyed reading it these last few months… sorry in advance for the long-winded approach…

    A dear friend of mine had a similarly difficult becoming-a-mom experience. She had the most natural and healthy pregnancy she could and did everything right from the moment she knew she was pregnant. She wanted natural childbirth with no drugs, did yoga and breathing, had a doula and a midwife. She did her homework, had great ideas and energy, and everything she wanted was truly because it was what would be best for her baby. She was the most selfless pregnant woman I’ve known – truly committed to her child. But then…

    Her blood pressure went through the roof. She was put on bed rest at home. She suffered some kind of abruption and started bleeding uncontrollably. She had a real emergency C-section that she still feels guilty about. As if that weren’t all traumatizing enough, she wasn’t producing enough milk and her little boy wasn’t getting the nutrition he needed to grow. People worried and forced her to see a doctor. She tried lactation consultants and all sorts of other “remedies” but was ultimately told that she just had to give up on breast-feeding and switch to formula. She did it even though she didnt want to. He got happier and healthier and starting growing like he should. She was less exhausted and could enjoy her time with her baby and family. Even though it was another thing for her to feel guilty about, I’m pretty sure that now (about a year later), she sees her baby feeding himself, eating tofu and avocado, toddling about and feels nothing but pride and happiness – with or without the breastmilk he is her baby and he really is pretty perfect. Of course she’ll never know whether the C-section or the formula made him different in some way, but does it really matter?

    I know your situation is different, your reasons are your own, and your doctors may advise otherwise – but the moral of the story as I see it is that by changing to formula, or at least giving it a try, you might be able to enjoy this entire experience that more fully and be able to give your baby (and your husband, family and friends) more of yourself because you will be happier and healthier. Whatever you decide, good luck!

    • Ofjonesfame March 22, 2011 at 9:59 am

      I concur!

      Another poster suggested setting yourself a deadline. I think that’s a wonderful idea! Maybe use some of these suggestions and in 3 weeks if you and G are still at the same place, the. Maybe do a formula hunt. As a previous poster said, you gotta look at you, B’s, and G’s quality of life. If you can find a formula that is suitable for him, and the days become less stressfull and more relaxed, how much MORE would you enjoy this time with him?

      It goes by quickly Amanda… I think back at when mine was G’s age and miss it. Now she’s a 5 year old emotional drama queen. I miss my chipper smile baby that never made a peep. Do what you can to enjoy this time!

      Good luck!

  • kirby March 15, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    i had major issues with quitting breastfeeding and going with formula with my twins. well, i actually dried up and didn’t have much of a choice, but it’s a hard thing to go through regardless. when you breastfeed for the first 4 weeks, your baby gets 90% off all your special sparkly boobie nutrients. anything more than that is just 10%. so maybe the boob isn’t for little G. so so sorry. do what will be you both happy and sane. good luck!

  • Ryan March 15, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    We had our little boy last May and tried going the breast feeding route (we read all about the benefits of breast milk as opposed to formula). At first, it went perfectly. He latched on when he was supposed to and also did great with the bottle.

    Then the breast milk hit the fan.

    One day, out of the blue, he just stopped drinking it. We kept trying and he eventually ate some more, and then he was mega gassy monster baby with the scream of death. So, we tried formula (Enfamil – the crazy expensive one). Happy baby again.

    We talked to our pediatrician and she felt that something in the breast milk wasn’t working for him and he knew it, which is why he didn’t want it anymore. But he gulped down the formula like a starved and crazed glutton. So, we switched and we’ve never looked back.

    Formulas today are super well-balanced and nutritious. We felt guilty for a few seconds, but then we realized a happy baby is just as important as anything else. And we had put so much pressure on ourselves to do the “right” thing or the “best” thing that we were driving ourselves bonkers.

    I’m getting to my point….I swear.

    Some babies, despite our best intentions, don’t go along with the plan, and that’s okay. Don’t do what we did and feel like, if that plan changes, you’re not the best Mom you can be. The fact that you care so much shows how much you love him.

  • Kinsey March 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Girl, try the formula. Your doc should be telling you to start introducing it anyway as the odds are G will have to have some before he is 1 anyway. I love all the suggestions to pump and store so your milk is there if G totally balks at the formula. Which he might. My baby did and I had to do half and half combo for a few bottles.

    But someone else said what I would like to reiterate – This is a REALLY hard time for everyone and you are supposed to be enjoying it as much as is possible with sleep deprivation. There are going to be so many more challenges ahead, I just think that if you can get this one settled you will feel so much better about everything G does. A happy mama = a happy baby, Period, the end. You have literally done EVERYTHING that you can do, you are a wonderful mom and way more dedicated than many others I know (ummm and how I will be if my 2nd has any of the issues G has. I will pop that baby off and give him a formula I am comfortable with so fast).

  • Becky Mochaface March 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    I have no crotch parasites of my own so I really don’t have much to add to the conversation except, well, that I’m almost sure it would be worth trying formula, at least for a day or two.

  • mandie March 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    dear god, i’d get that kid on the bottle, stat. poor mama. i’d go ape if i had to eat that diet AND pee out of my butt. i wasn’t a breastfeeder (long, tmi story) and my kids are pretty much the awesomest of the awesome, so i promise you, your baby will be just fine, too. you’ve got to take care of you.

  • Lluvia March 15, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    aawww….! I hope you get better very quick!

    DO NOT feel guilty if you have to switch. I did that! I am very PRO breastfeeding and I couldn’t do it with mine (I just blogged about this). I was stubborn on BF, but two weeks later, she had LOST WEIGHT! I began supplementing with formula and after 3 months of pumping (because I dried out), I went straight to formula. Of course, mine didn’t have reflux or anything like that. She was fine with breastmilk and pretty much anything you put in her mouth. It was just a latching on thing and me having very tiny and inverted nipples.

    • Lluvia March 15, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Went back and read a few of the comments. And I agree with a previous commenter, most formulas, now a days, are very close to breast milk, and so pumped up with goodies for your baby’s development. Mine went to formula at 3 months and she’s now thriving. She’s 17 months and doctor said she was ahead with her verbal skills. She says a lot of words and recognizes some written ones (thanks to My Baby Can Read). Not too shabby for a formula fed baby, eh?

  • Britt March 15, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    After you quit peeing out of your butt, can you start a tv or radio show? You crack me up and I could always use a little bit more laughter in my life. Sorry not that your pain is funny but anything you talk about is funny.

  • Christina March 15, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    No advice as my future drama baby is still cooking, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have the butt squirts. That is definitely no fun.
    Also, this may be the very worst thing to admit outloud, but I am kind of considering the elimination diet from the get go… for weight loss purposes. *ducks and hides*

  • ajh March 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    I am going to be anti-formula here and say stick with breastfeeding. But only because that is what I did. So, just like everyone else who has posted a comment has mentioned, you have to decide what is best for you. I decided, even with being on an elimination diet from months 3 to 8 with my first daughter, that I did not want to stop breastfeeding her. That was what was best for me, and since I was okay with the elimination diet (I do not remember having butt pee, you poor dear) and it was helping my daughter, it was what was best for us. I loved the closeness, the bond, the happy oxytocin hormones. We breastfed until she was 14 months. The first year goes by so quickly in hindsight. My second daughter is almost 3 months now and again I am breastfeeding while on an elimination diet (and thankful I knew to start the diet sooner after she exhibited some symptoms of soy and dairy intolerance). You can email me anytime if you want details on the elimination diet, as I did introduce many foods into my diet by month 6, before my daughter began eating solids. Or if you want the recipe for the soy-free, gluten-free, dairy-free pumpkin tarts that we ate at Thanksgiving that year, lol. You are doing a great job, you will decide what is best for you and your little G. There are worse things than not breastfeeding. Your darling boy will grow so fast you will not believe your eyes, and these breastfeeding days, whether you continue them or not (I am adopted, and was formula fed some crazy 1980s formula that probably had pepsi in it and I think I turned out great), will be behind you.

    • demi March 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm

      i agree with you a billion percent. even though getting into the breastfeeding groove was super crazy hard and tough, once we were in the groove-it was awesome! My daughter is 3 now, and I MISS breastfeeding! i always wished i would have done it longer. but anywho-keep taking 1 day at a time. you can do this! :)

      • ajh March 15, 2011 at 9:57 pm

        glad to see I am not the only one supporting breastfeeding! the elimination diet is hard, no doubt, I had to go gluten-free in addition to soy and dairy free, but you can get through it if you choose to. Try one new food and see how that goes. I was able to eat a wide variety of foods as long as I stayed away from gluten, dairy and soy. My baby outgrew this sensitivity by 8 months (probably sooner, but I didn’t try any dairy until she was 8 months). I just kept it in the back of my mind that I could do anything for one year, but I am stubborn like that. Many suggested that I should just switch to formula, but I never felt that switching was a good option for me and my daughter. Luckily my daughter’s doctor was very supportive. Then one year came and went! I really did not want to wean my daughter at all, but my second pregnancy depleted my milk supply and my daughter lost interest at 14 months. Nursing gets much easier, even if you have to be on a crazy elimination diet. Good luck MODG! This is only one step of the journey :)

        • LynzB March 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm

          I’m so sorry this has been so hard on you MODG! I too am a big breastfeeding supporter. I breastfed my first till she was 1 (at which time she completely did not care about it any more), and we are almost 6 months in to breastfeeding my baby A. She is a regular fart rocket, too. Mostly we just giggle about it because she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it; she’s just REALLY loud.  I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but as so many others have said, you will decide what’s right for you and G, and no matter what you choose, there is no doubt that G is going to be a healthy little man. You’re taking amazing care of him, and that’s what matters most. We are all here to support you through the interwebs no matter what you decide.
          Lots and lots of love,

          • LynzB March 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

            Also, we never had any luck with gripe water, but the “Little Tummies Gas Drops” seem to work pretty well for A. She even seems to enjoy drinking it out of the dropper 

  • Jessica March 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    So I haven’t had all the issues that you’ve had, but we have had a few small ones. I’m in week 5 of breastfeeding. We’ve survived cracked and sore nipples, a morning of feeding every hour (WTF), and now gas/stomach issues. I have been using gripe water which seems to be helping. However, I’ve also figured out that there are some things I’m just going to have to cut out of my diet. Major bummer after 9 months of not being able to eat what I want to know that I’m looking at more months of not being able to eat what I want. All that is to say that I can only imagine how frustrated you are. There have been days when I just want to throw in the towel, and I haven’t had near the issues that you have. The best advice that I have been given is that only you know what’s best for you and your baby. Best of luck no matter what you do! You are a total rockstar!

  • Ann March 15, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    I always say that a happy and relaxed mommy makes a happy and relaxed baby :) This is way to stressful for you, which he senses. You gave it a great try and succeeded in getting him the essential stuff that he needed initially. Now it seems like it may be time to give you both a break and switch over to some formula. I went through unable-to-breastfeed guilt pangs, but then I remembered that half of the people I know were never breastfed and they are just freaking fine :)

  • natalie March 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    i vote you try the formula and start eating like a normal person before u officially become ana. cant be good for u or the baby at this point!

  • The Islander March 15, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    So, this doesn’t pertain to boobies or babies… sorry. But it CRACKS ME UP to see the kitties in the background of your picture silently JUDGING low-threshold-purple-mouth-baby. 😀

  • Rosie G March 15, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    I’m breastfeeding right now (when I’m not crying or complaining about lack of sleep) and it makes Little Man sound like a whoopie cushion. It’s been three weeks and slowly the delicious foods are being taken away from me…at least I’m not peeing from my butt? Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  • Gail March 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    I’m not going to lie…I sort of just recently found you and really haven’t heard much about your life/baby/pregnancy. But, from this post, I am telling you that IT IS OK if you do not breastfeed. I only made it 6 weeks with my second child before saying “I can’t deal with the screaming anymore, I’ll just try soy formula.” I shit you not, different kid. Completely. Different. Kid. She is an angel now. Talk to your doctor about what is best to try, because it can be frustrating and expensive to figure out what formula works. You will be so much happier when you don’t have yeast infections and an unhappy baby and you can eat whatever you want. And a happy mom=a happy baby. And that is the most important thing. THAT is what is best.

  • kelly @Dare to be Domestic March 15, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    yay for dropping baby weight but – ugh, bless your heart for having to deal with your pain and helping Baby G with his. I’m not a mom but I have to agree with others that have said not breast feeding is OK. But do what you feel in your heart is best. You’re the mom and only you know for sure what is right for yourself and your baby. And don’t ever feel bad about venting about your back end vent issues that’s what blogs are for. Shoes will be there tomorrow. We’re always here to listen and if we can, help.

  • C March 15, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    How do I say this… you’re an awesome mom.

    I know that right now you might not feel that way. I mean your kid is a teething fart rocket, your butt is peeing and I’m sure it’s all mildly overwhelming.

    Strike that, I KNOW it’s EXTREMELY overwhelming.

    So I just want to say that you’re an amazing mother that has obviously done everything in her control to provide her son with the BEST first three months of life possible. Sparkles, sunshine, dancing leprechauns and ponies with rainbows shooting out of their butts should be delivered to your door on a daily basis.

    But if your son is truly intolerant and having issues digesting your milk, maybe it is time to explore formula. Do not think that this makes you a failure, because it doesn’t. Your whole goal with breastfeeding is to give your son the best nutrition possible. If your son can’t properly digest your milk, then maybe formula is the best nutritional option for him.

    If you do choose to go that route, just know that you’ve done it all. You gave breastfeeding every ounce of effort you had and it just wasn’t right for you two. I think that as a breastfeeding mom, sometimes that peace of mind of knowing we’ve tried it all is what you need to let go of breastfeeding and possibly move in another direction.

    My personal advice would be to pump and give the super formula mentioned above a try for a day or two. If it works, you might be so thankful that you won’t feel even a shred of guilt or remorse. And any pumped and frozen breastmilk you have can possibly go to a “milk bank” if you have one in your area which means you could be developing a happier home life AND helping other babies at the same time.

    Here’s hoping that no matter what you choose, more sparkles and rainbows are in your future.

    • demi March 15, 2011 at 5:41 pm

      there is no such thing as super formula. just sustenance for the baby, and sanity for the mom if the baby even will take a bottle.

      • C March 16, 2011 at 9:21 am


        Was simply attempting to refer to the hypoallergenic formula mentioned above by several different moms. Unfortunately I currently have chemo brain so remembering things like the name of a formula I’ve never used is beyond my cognitive abilities.

  • Sarah March 15, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    This has nothing to do with breast feeding but everything to do with buttpee. I feel for ya.
    I started researching the Master Cleanse about a week ago and today is my second day. I am exhausted, not too nice, starving, buttpeeing every 5 minutes,…… did I mention I am 4 lbs lighter? I want to know how long you did the cleanse and how much lbs fell off and blablabla everything else. Thanks. Sorry about the buttpee on your end though. Literally.

  • DEMI March 15, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Honey I’m so sorry it’s so tough. All breastfeeding mommas go through “questioning” periods of time when they somewhat consider formula. I promise you this-if baby G is this sensitive to your diet-ALL HELL WILL BREAK THROUGH WHEN/IF YOU GO TO FORMULA. I know your sanity is at stake. But if you wait until at least 6 months-things will really start to even out-and if you go to formula then-he will tolerate it much better. You will wake up one day and realize that YOU CAN DO THIS. Your baby growing the way he is shows that he is loving the nurishement you are giving him. But this is all your decision, we will all support you either way! :) Just remember formula is expensive, makes babies super gassy, spitting up will be times a million, and warming up bottles and all sterilization bullshit-omg it is hell. I experienced 1 formula/breast baby, and one full breastfed baby-the difference is crazy in how they grow. Good luck-your baby will be fine either way.

  • DEMI March 15, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    OH and p.s. make sure you are hydrated well. butt pee is all fine and dandy every once in awhile-sometimes it’s what your body wants to do. 😛 you won’t buttpee forever. promise.

  • ElsMom March 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    All I can add – I adopted, was unable to breast feed (though some well-meaning women told me if I really wanted to I could). I hate when people try to make you feel guilty about it, sometimes you just can’t. I think you have spent enough time thinking about it – you need to make the decision that works for you, and NEVER look back. If you decide to keep trying – great! If not, great too. My daughter is 7 now, was never sick in her first year of life, and rarely picks up the crap going around school. It is what it is, nothing else!

    And to the Wanda Sykes wannabe commenter (real original) get a freakin clue, if you don’t like it – go elsewhere. This is a blog for real women, if you can’t handle it, go somewhere else!

  • Alli J March 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Delurking here…just for you MODG.

    I personally don’t have experience with the elimination diet or breastfeeding the “allergic to seemingly everything baby,” but my sister did it for almost a year, and it sucked. I don’t know if I could do it, so my hat is off to you for being that committed to Baby G. I know from talking to my sis that it was most definitely hardest in the beginning while she couldn’t eat anything, but eventually through lots of trial and error she was able to add things back in to her diet. Turns out my nephew was allergic to dairy, soy and corn of all things. (At least one of each of these ingredients is in pretty much everything, but bless her heart she kept breastfeeding and emerged skinnier and svelter than she ever had been before!)

    I don’t know what to tell you other than formula won’t hurt Baby G if you decide you’ve had enough. In fact, it’s better than it is has ever been thanks to years of perfecting. You’re a great mom and Baby G is lucky to have you, regardless of how you choose to nourish him.

    Oh, and my nephew is 3 1/2 now and has outgrown all his food allergies. Just in case you were worried about whether or not you’ll always have a picky eater on your hands.

    Sorry about the buttpee. That just sucks.

  • Alli J March 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Oh, and I just read someone else’s comment about overactive letdown, and my sis had that problem too. She would express a little milk before feeding her son so that he didn’t choke and gulp too much air.

    • demi March 15, 2011 at 5:52 pm

      oh I had the overactive letdown too. it was crazy. I could squirt walls with my boobs. tmi i know. who is the wanda sykes commentor somebody else was talking about??

  • Renee March 15, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    It’s easy to feel like a “good mom” breast feeds, but a “good mom” does what’s best for baby, and sometimes it’s formula. I don’t know if a formula exists that your little guy will tolerate, but don’t feel guilty if you do end up going that route, I had to after 3 months of breast feeding woes. Good luck!!

  • Mel March 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    Baby G sounds like my daughter and your situation is like a carbon copy of mine. Two words for you: Similac Alimentum.
    After I was a sobbing mess in his office, my daughter’s pediatrician slid a container of it to me. I went home, gave her the formula and no kidding in like 24 hours she was cured. She started sleeping 12-13 hours through the night and I wished that I had tried it sooner rather than beating myself up (and my daughter) for 3-4 months. It can’t hurt to try it.

  • Erica Jackson March 15, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    I’d take that diet and butt explosions to lose 90 lbs….ok maybe only 20.

  • Kaili Reynolds March 15, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Quitting breastfeeding may not help your problem. I just left the doc with similar issues. I am on an elimination that is actually helping my son. He’s had green bloody stool for five weeks… every stool! I finally was asked to also give up carbs on top of everything else. So now I am eating fish, low-sugar veggies, and low sugar fruits. I am actually seeing a difference. My son is not screaming in agony before he eliminates. They are starting to yellow again. There is less visible blood. You do not need to give up breastfeeding, you just need to figure out what’s hurting his belly. I was also told to start taking probiotics (powder form) to help his stomach lining heal. Apparently the probiotics release some kind of gas that the stomach lining needs in order to process the things that are hurting my sons belly. Please don’t lose hope. I’m as annoyed and hungry as you are but you can do it. Email me for my phone number if you wanna chat.

  • maos March 15, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    breast is best.

    • ajh March 15, 2011 at 10:01 pm

      ^ like!

    • Heather March 16, 2011 at 11:16 am

      but sometimes not for everyone.

      • Allison March 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm

        Ditto Heather!

  • Di March 15, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    Amanda, do not quit breastfeeding. Part of the problem is solved because you know exactly what you ate, when baby got sick. Gummy bears and garden burger probably made it. So do not get discouraged but try to introduce one item at time. It will be easier for you to figure out later what hurt the baby’s belly. But what I want you tell that the nature of a “C” word is not 100% explained by today’s medicine. So, it is just the time period in your life you just have to go through, no matter what you eat or drink, like morning sickness during pregnancy. One day you and baby G will wake up and it will all be gone. Stay strong, Amanda and don’t eat food that makes you gassy:))

  • ashlie March 15, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    Hey – I hope things get better soon! I’m sure you’ve tried everything, but my daughter was born the same day as Baby G and she used to be super gassy and angry too. I found that switching to single side feedings helped her. Instead of nursing her on both sides, now I just nurse her on one side, then switch to the other side at the next feeding. I read that foremilk makes them gassier than the hind milk, so by nursing her on both sides, she was getting too much foremilk. She’s still angry and difficult (right now she seems to think she’s a newborn still and enjoys waking up to eat every 3 hours at night) but the gassiness has really come around. Best of luck – I love reading your posts!

  • Liz March 16, 2011 at 9:51 am

    No helpful advice either, but if you decide to try a chiropractor, there’s a GREAT practice in Pottstown – http://www.chiropractorinpottstown.com/about_us/Dr_Leo_McCormick.htm
    They see infants and are fabulous. Ask for Dr. Leo or Dr. Daryl!!! Dr. Daryl told me that he saw a baby that hadn’t EVER pooped on it’s own (was several months old and always needed…um…assistance) and within three adjustments was pooping on his own no problem. The adjustments are very gentle. I haven’t taken my little one, but that’s only because I don’t live in the area anymore!

  • Emmy March 16, 2011 at 10:39 am

    If you do decide to try formula, your pediatrician may have you try a few before you go to hydrolyzed protein formula (aka) Nutramigen or Alimentum Advance. Alimentum is the Similac brand equivalent to Mead Johnson’s Nutramigen. I used to be a drug rep for Ross Pediatrics and sold Similac products – Alimentum Advance, PediaSure, etc. The typical regimen for a doctor is to first try lactose-free or soy (which is sounds like you’ve established he can’t tollerate), then you try the hydrolyzed protein formula (pre-digested/broken down milk proteins). They will sometimes try to diagnose a milk-protein allergy with the presence of blood in the stool, which you may want to look out for. It’s usually small red dots. Yup, just talked about poop – yea! As another person posted, you can usually get samples at your doctor’s office and many times there are coupons on the company websites to help with the cost. Good luck!

  • maos March 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    You should call your local Le Leche League Leader. you can find your local group at llli.org

  • SOMFL March 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    I understand the pressure. The weighing out of all the options, the guilt, all of it. I get it, I have been there twice. Breastfeeding is beautiful, unless you are not a poster child for La Leche League, then it can be downright unbearable. It is all-consuming. Whatever you decide is best. It is ok if mommy shuts down the shop, baby will be perfectly fine. Babies can grow and prosper without the boob! They will not be last in class or not walk before they are 11. If breastfeeding is enjoyable by both parties, then it really can be a sweet experience. If it is too much, then it is too much. Formula has come a long way. You do not have to sacrifice your health or sanity to be an awesome mommy. You do not have to put yourself on the line like that. With my first I struggled and was abnormally stubborn about breastfeeding. In my mind I thought, “If I don’t breastfeed her then any old person could be her mom”. “They can just pick up a bottle and that it!” Oh my. That was silly of me! A lot of time wasted! Motherhood is no joke! You are already fantastic. Your baby has already recieved so many benefits. I feel bad you are struggling, and wish you the best.

  • kristin March 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    i wish i had some insight! keep doing what you and B feel right. just keep the team together & it will feel right. i know when i am stressed out, confused, uncertain, etc- i feel much better when i’m on the same page as my hub. i can’t imagine the butt pee right now (it SUCKS when bodies aren’t working the way they are “supposed” to!)… good luck!

  • Karena March 16, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    I have to say, first I am a breastfeeding supporter. Big time. HOWEVER, I think you should continue it as long as it’s both mutually benefitial to you AND Baby G. Bfing is NOT easy, most of us know that. You sacrifice a LOT. But you are sacrificing WAAAAY more than most. As somebody who turns up their nose at people who never try BFing (at least TRY it), I really think for your own sanity and Baby G’s sanity, that it’s ok if you stop. It’s not a failure. Don’t EVER think of it as a failure!! You do whats right for you and YOUR family. Everybody has different methods and ways of doing things that make sense to them. There is no right or wrong answer here.

  • Andrea McCarron March 17, 2011 at 2:53 am

    I love reading your blog because I too had a monster baby who will be turning 1 on Monday! I can relate to you in a lot of ways and I just want to start off by saying I admire your commitment to breastfeeding. That being said, it doesn’t sound like it is working for either one of you at this point. I eventually had to put my son on Nutramigen. It is expensive, smells gross, tastes worse but Jace was like a different kid once his body adjusted to it! I’m happy to report that Jace is a happy healthy kid and for the most part I’m a happy healthy mom who likes my kid, and that is important because for the first 4 months I loved by kid, but I didn’t like him a whole lot!

    I’m also a labor and delivery nurse and I know “breast feeding is best” but it doesn’t work for everyone and even by breastfeeding one time you give your baby a healthy start! You have gone above and beyond :) Cut your self some slack and don’t be guilted into breastfeeding longer if it is no longer working.

    I felt like a total failure giving up breastfeeding, but after a period of adjustment I’m happy I switched my son to Nutramigen. He is now on Cow’s milk and doing great! Good luck to you in whatever decision you make for you and baby G. You are an amazing mom first and foremost :) The most important thing is that you feed the baby, not how you feed him!

  • Lauren March 17, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Thought you might like this. I totally did. I love when peeps are honest. keep up with the truth, it’s refreshing!


  • Jamie March 17, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Hey Modg,
    I didn’t have time to read all the comments so I don’t know if someone already said this, but your little guy’s digestive system is rapidly maturing, and pretty soon he’ll be able to tolerate things a lot better. He’s about three months, right? I’d say in another month or two, and definitely by about six months, you should be able to expand your diet significantly without bothering him. Babies have an ‘open gut’ when they’re born, meaning that nutrients and allergens can pass directly into their bloodstream from their intestines. There’s all kinds of good stuff in breastmilk that protects their intestines and their system and then by about six months, their intestines have sealed up and they’re able to tolerate things much more (which is why they can also start eating solid foods about that same time).

    So, I know that a month/couple more months probably feels like forever, but you’ve made it this far and it really will get soooo much better. I know it’s hard, but try to take the long-term view and get past this hump, and I swear it will get better.

    You’re doing amazing!!

  • Michelle March 17, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    I had an extremely similar experience with one of my twins. Turns out that she has a milk protein sensitivity/allergy (not lactose intolerance). With 48 hours of weaning and going on Enfamil Nutramigen, which was recommended by our pediatric GI, she was magically better. Looking back, it sucks so much that breastfeeding caused her pain, caused me pain (severe bleeding nipple, stabbing pain, DUCTAL thrush pain….shivers), and essentially robbed her twin brother of what could have been a 3 month freezer stash.

    Put my vote in for trying Nutramigen or Alimentum (our PGI said they’re the same, except for the Similac has added sugar), and pump while you do it. If the formula doesn’t make for a happier baby in one week, then you’re supply is still there.

  • Michelle March 18, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    I’m going to quickly go through my breastfeeding experience.

    At 3 months old, my son was also a fart rocket. Like, cry for an hour with painful farts, red in the face, freaking out fart rocket. I tried elimination diets of all kinds. And I finally gave up because he wasn’t getting better. I had convinced myself that I would switch to formula at 3 months if things didn’t improve for him. It eventually worked itself out. I share this because maybe G just needs some time, if this is important to you. It was important to me, so we stuck it out. I totally understand why you’re sticking it out. It’s not easy, but you gotta do what you want and what you think is right for you and G!

    Also, a friend of mine had very similar problems with her daughter. They never got better, and she’s doing great on Similac soy formula. But you might try something that’s dairy and soy free to start G on, since he seems to have such a hard time.

    Good luck to you! And really, you’re kicking ass.

  • Morgan March 20, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    So I just discovered MODG a couple weeks ago- my friend showed it to me when you posted about the purple nipple goo and so then I obviously had to go back to the very beginning and read everything to date… I’m now all caught up on the world of MODG and I. AM. HOOKED. I just turned 30 too and the hubs and I want to get started on the baby making this summer and I’m now addicted to reading your candid, honest, F-ing hilarious perspective on it all… with drawings! So, I know you’re going through a super rough time now, but just know that your awesomeness is still shining through & that you are indeed BAD ASS (monogramed no less).

  • Erin March 21, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    LITTLE TUMMIES GAS DROPS!!! its like gold in a bottle i tell you.. this magical potion helps them to fart like they just ate a can of baked beans and belch like they just pounded down a 40 oz… makes for a much happier baby which in turn makes your life 1000% more pleasant.. target makes one that has the exact same ingredients and is half the price.. i gave my daugter a dose before every feeding until she started to get a little older and could rip one like a big girl (or a man) all by herself..

    also my dr. had me give my girl maalox in between meals for reflux along with keeping her elevated after meals and inclining her crib mattress.. worked like a charm until she outgrew it..

    both of these meds are completely harmless and have no side effects whatsoever..

  • Mindy March 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Sidebar: Do you think I could trade the rice for mashed potatoes and add gravy to the turkey? Could I get the skinnies?

    In all seriousness, I’m not a mom so I’m not going to be one of the ones who says “breast is best” or “formula is the only way to go”. I think it just makes sense to explore all options considering you both seem a little miserable. If the boob thing isn’t working for either of you then what’s the harm in trying a little formula? I mean, millions of babies survive on formula, it’s a safe alternative from what I’ve gathered (as a non-mom). I don’t know though, maybe by now you’ve already tried formula and it didn’t work. Wishing you the best! Butt pee is *never* fun.

  • Elizabeth March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Nutramigen ingredients list: fairy dust, unicorn horn, foreskin of medieval eunichs
    Nutramigen price: holy shit — but coupons on ebay are worth looking into, and WalMart is by far the best priced source in myneck of the woods.

    Side note, in most states, Nutramigen can be covered by insurance (boo-yeah). Just not in NC (where I live…boo).

    Nutramigen benefits: happy baby able to digest the awesomely broken down supersonic proteins without woe and despair.

    I was the formula Nancy Drew — Similac Sensitive is only lactose free (99% of baby stomach issues are NOT lactose intolerence), Enfamil Gentlease is reduced lactose only. Similac Alumentum (sp?) is most similar to Nutramigen.

    We went from Nutramigen until 6 months, then Similac Sensitive until 9 months, then Similac to 11 months, then screwed it and well full on milk. A key to formula is to try and buy the prepared formula in the quarts. Its thicker and has less bubbles that cause gas. Nutramigen really only comes in powder (unless you want the concentrated nastiness you have to mix with water) — so a good plan of action is to add just a couple of drops of Mylicon (Target brand is 1/4 the price and tastes better) in each bottle. It completely eliminates microscopic bubbles in the formula (like when you stick your finger in your Coke-cola).

    Good luck! Sorry for the big paragraph but you are not alone!!!

  • Dani March 22, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Sorry you are going through this! I am breastfeeding too and I thought my baby had MSPI… he was getting sick so much and having green stools with some pretty hilarious sound effects… went on for weeks. Anywho, after cutting out everything from my diet that I could think of, my sister told me I might have a fore milk / hind milk imbalance. I read up on it and made some changes (ie letting the fore milk drip into a burp cloth then letting him latch back on)… and poof! Happy baby with yellow stools! Turns out a lot of women have a milk imbalance and it is “diagnosed” as some food intolerance. I haven’t read your entire blog to see if you have considered the milk imbalance as the problem so oops if you have!

  • Kaili Reynolds April 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Hi again… if you scroll up, I told you all about how I had to eliminate all kinds of stuff for my babe and that you could chat me up if things were getting hard. Well guess what? Things got a whole lot harder after that for us. Baby started bleeding out of his butt. Not just the blood drops speckled through his diaper. He had diapers w/ nothing but blood. After 8 days in the hospital, switching to Nutramigen, and then to Neocate, Little Man’s tummy is healing, not bleeding, mama is dairy and soy free and the best part is…. we’re 100% back on the boob. (Best part because it’s free) I learned a lot in this tiny time our lives together…. breast is not best. A happy baby is best. If doc says to switch it up and give baby time to heal… do it… after some personal research. If doc says, “hey he’s green mucus and blood w/ or w/o the formula so just be on the booby… do it… after some personal research. We eventually hooked up with a pretty conventional hospitalist, and a pretty “gung-ho-on-the-booby-only-don’t-you-step-in-my-office-with-that-can” pediatrician. When one of them gives us advice, we check with the other…and we’re the happier for it. I’m sure you’re way past this problem by now, but for what it’s worth, the best is what makes mama and baby have a good relationship.

  • Moore(MaidenName) October 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    hey everyone – these comments are SUPER helpful. I have a six week old baby boy who seems to love the boob but I think his fussiness is above average for a normal baby – he always seems like he is trying to take a dump if he isn’t eating or sleeping. He arches his back and scrunches up his face and cries quite a bit. After reading all of your comments I am going to try a tiered plan: 3 days trying to reduce my forceful let-down (I got some good advice on Kellymom.com on how to breastfeed a baby when you have a LOT of milk (which I do)). If we still have a fussy baby after this than I am going to try and cut out food groups (which makes me super sad but I will give it a try) to see if I can find the culprit. Also MODG your blog has really helped me get through the first six weeks of having a newborn – hate to say this but whenever I feel overwhelmed I just read your blog and it makes me feel better about my situation, ha!