Pick up your jaw off the floor. It’s me again. Only one day after my last post. It’s just like old times! Look at that, I even used an exclamation point. I usually hate those bitches. This is how you know it’s a good day. I’m here to tell you all that I performed baby hypnosis and I’m available for 100 dollars an hour and for parties.
I woke up today determined to have a better day. I think last night when dramababy was screaming through the bachelor and I just let B handle the screams, it hit me. I have to do a better job of making myself happy. Candy only gets you so far and so high. So today we tackled the wrap carrier.
Know this, I have the Moby, The Sleepy Wrap, The New Native sling and the Ergo. Dramababy spit in their faces and screamed in mine for a long time. But today it was me vs. baby and I was all jacked up on sugar, ready to go. I tanked him up on boob food and changed his butt goo and waited till he was smile city. Then I followed a hippie on youtube who told me exactly what to do with the moby and how to get the baby in. And you know what? It worked. And even better, he was asleep in 10 minutes.
Because I can’t just be happy with my success and move on like regulars do, I tweeted it, facebooked it, emailed it to B, took it off and put it on 3 more times and then the biggest move of all, I wore it in the grocery store. The bonus of that is the attention you get. People are all, oh how cute, oh what a neat wrap, oh can I get that for you? It’s like the niceness that people were to me when I was pregnant all over again.
So now I’m blogging about it. Because this is the best thing to happen to me since…well I guess having a baby is a pretty good thing. So is a giant kit kat though.
And here’s the hippie we can all thank for my sanity.