Birth Story: The final installment. After this we talk about wine again. Promise.

I had to have a C Section.
Well, let’s back track that. It was recommended to me by the doctors to have a c-section. Plankton’s heart rate had leveled out (but not dropped), my bleeding increased (from the cervidil) and we were reaching the 24 hour deadline that the hospital sets for delivery when you have PROM. Medical industry in general though has a 72 hour limit.

As someone who went through 20 weeks of hypno-baby study, worked with midwives and a doula, didn’t so much as have a sip of regular coffee or wine during pregnancy, this was devastating. And I couldn’t help but blame myself in that moment.

Our doula offered the option of leaving. Yep. Just up and leaving the hospital and going home with a midwife to deliver at the house. I did think about it but with the little energy I had, I just wanted to have my baby at that point. But she did get me thinking about choices in general….More on this later.

I’m taken away from B and undressed. A man has me lean over and sticks things in my spine. He says, ok you should now feel warm and numb from the chest down. Then I have a contraction. I say, “dude, I probably shouldn’t have felt that right?” He says, uhhh. Perfect coming from your anesthesiologist. He stabs my spine 2 more times before I’m numb. But I’ll be honest, the numbness was nice, for 45 seconds. Then I started shaking.

I had a bad reaction to the spinal with convulsing like shaking and nausea. I’m laying down with my arms spread and I tell them I’m going to vomit. They turn my head to the side and stick a cup next to my mouth. Like I have some sort of super sonic vomit aim. I’m all, dude I’m going to choke on it. Thankfully I kept it down and I guess it distracted me while my guts were cut open on a table. (I’m making this sound more dramatic than it was because that’s what I do. This whole thing took about 4 minutes total).


B comes in in his full space suit. I’m cut open within seconds and I feel a huge pressure as they pull the baby out. But I don’t hear anything. B runs over. No one is telling me anything. No one says the things you expect to hear like, “he’s here!” or “it’s a boy!” or “he’s so big”. Nothing. They didn’t show me his face. This is now going on about 3 minutes. I’m paralyzed on a table and babyless. It was the worst feeling you can imagine.

Then I hear him cry. B has to take pictures of him and show me on the camera because he’s still been taken away from me. All I ever imagined was him arriving and being placed on my chest and having that super love moment. That didn’t happen. They finally show him to me and he’s great and cute and finally pink and not blue and I’m beyond happy that he’s here and healthy, but I can’t hold him, and I can barely touch him. it just wasn’t what I hoped for.

Looking back, I should have had B tie me to the bed a week earlier and not allow me to intervene in any way. I don’t know for sure if this what led me down the path that I went, but I do think about it. The evening primrose could have led to my water breaking early, which could have led to the castor oil, which led to my vomiting and dehydration, which led to my “practice contractions” leading to the cervidil, leading to the stadol, leading to everything slowing down and then stopping. Leading ultimately to the c section.

I know millions of people have c sections every day and they have wonderfully healthy awesome babies. This just isn’t want I pictured for Gavin and I. But I’m ok with this now.

Gavin was 8lbs 4oz and 21 inches long. His head was lodged into my pelvis sideways, with the cord around his neck and my placenta had begun to detach. All good reasons to have the c section, which I keep telling myself.

Here’s the good news. No pushing = no more hemorrhoids! Cheers for that. Recovering from the c section has been pretty easy and I’m all but 7lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight already. Thank you breast feeding. Gavin is super healthy, a great eater and gaining lots of weight.

Despite B’s labor naps, he’s a great dad. He takes him for a few hours every night around 4am so I can sleep for at least 2-3 full hours. He changes almost every diaper and he has long conversations with Gavin about being nice to girls and the negatives of online shopping. I’m a very lucky girl to have such a rockstar baby and husband.

*** Reflection***

My goal with this story is not to scare you. I really believe that my birth could have been awesome and magic if I just let it happen. I think we get so wrapped up in what should happen or what could happen that we forget to just let it happen. I think I paid a bit of a price for intervening and it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. Try and be patient and use me as your idiot example for your own birth.

My purpose is not to bash hospitals or doctors or to say natural birth is the way to go. Many of you have said things like, “see? I told you not to get hung up on a birth plan, or what should happen”. I disagree. I actually wish I planned more and was more informed. Looking back, the midwife suggested something I shouldn’t have done and the doctors suggested some things that I wouldn’t have chosen for myself.  I think it’s important to be your OWN advocate. You can’t fully trust anyone to make these decisions for you. I don’t care if you go full meds or all natural. Know your options. Because at any single point, I could have said no. No to the castor oil, no to the cervidil, and maybe just no to the hospital. And looking back maybe I should have. But I am ultimately cool with my outcome now. I really am. Because like everyone says, I would do it again tomorrow, if it was twice as long and twice as painful. I would do it again.

Birth is a weird thing. It’s even weirder to think that like every woman with a vag (which is most) have babies. It’s not easy and your life is flipped upside down right away.  And no matter how your birth is, I think all women who do it are amazing. So please don’t take this story and say “I’m never having children!” or “poor MODG”. I don’t look at it like that. I look at the path I went down to have my son. And for everyone that will be different. I only hope that what you take away from this is, that you can make your own choices and you don’t have to do anything the way that someone tells you to. Do what’s right for you.

Now, serious birth MODG is leaving the building. She enjoyed her time here but now we move on to things like wine. BECAUSE I CAN DRINK IT AGAIN.
WHAT WHAT??

Picture FEST of happiness!

 

 

 

 

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{ 150 comments }

Alyssa December 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

Those are the most beautiful birthday photos I have ever seen. Thank you for talking about your pregnancy and labor so honestly, it helps me figure out what I want when I have children someday. I’m proud of you! Gavin officially has the best parents in the world. (Besides mine of course.)

candiedpixie December 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

All I have to say to this is happy birthday to you & B & G. You guys are a beautiful little family & I think G is such an adorable baby boy! Enjoy him while he’s small, because when he’s one or two or three you’re going to look back & feel like it’s been seconds since they were showing him to you in the hospital. <3

candiedpixie December 19, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Bahahaha I said happy birthday. I meant congratulations to you & B & G.

Jessica December 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Amazing! You are such a good mama, already! I think your story is amazing and what you got from it is morn more amazing! You have a very handsome lil man there, good job, mama!!! :)
lots of super smiles and sparkles your way!!

One Ring to Rule Them All December 19, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Yay, happiness! And a testimony to how into your blog I’ve gotten: I wore a sparkly belt last night (to holiday parties, natch), and it was festive and I felt invincible with it on, and you know what? I totally thought of you every time someone complimented me on it. Go you for making an impact (whether or not it’s the one you wanted…)

Gavin is gorgeous, and it sounds like you have the right mindset: birth is over, time to focus on your family, and next time you can use what you learned in the way you want.

Finally, you said no “poor MODG”, but poor MODG. I hope your recovery is as short as your life with B & G is long.

Kiki December 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Your story is beautiful and wonderful and just the way it is suppose to be for you. You did everything your way and don’t second guess yourself. You and the baby are healthy and happy and that is the result you really wanted. Let go of your preconception and bask in the joy of what is. So cheers to the three of you!

ps Gavin’s birth was wonderful and awesome. Stop and really think about it. It will come to you in time. How could it not be? Just look at him!!

Congrats!!

Mo December 19, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Thank you for sharing.

As soon as I have my baby, I’ll raise a glass to you and how amazing you are for bringing such a GORGEOUS kid into the world-even if it wasn’t what you envisioned. Ahem. PS: Welcome to parenthood. It’s not what you envisioned.

Happy birthday, Gavin, Gavin’s Mommy, and Gavin’s Mommy’s Vagina! YOU ROCK!

Rebecca December 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm

You should feel a huge sense of accomplishment. To me it seems like being pregnant and giving birth “these days” is incredibly confusing, precisely because we DO have to make so many decisions and try to get so much information. NO ONE is going to do everything exactly right. You did what you thought was best for you and your baby, and it all worked out in the end. ANYONE who criticizes the choices that you made is a preachy asshole. Your story has a happy ending, complete with a perfect baby and wine! Congratulations!

Rebekah December 19, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Gavin is BEAUTIFUL, and you look amazing. I know everyone says that to new moms about their post-labor pictures, but sometimes it’s just to be nice, and you really do look freakin awesome. I have really enjoyed reading your blog during your pregnancy (not that I’ll stop now) because we’re waiting a little while for babies. It gives me time to actually THINK about it rather than be like, “aww baby bumps and happy faces and sweet babies.” You’re like, “Hey, slow down. Hemorrhoids and 24 hours of labor and Castor oil (oh my GOSH disgusting!) and sweet Lord WAITING.” B sounds like he’s been amazing (aside from labor naps — I probably would have thrown things at him). And big, big congratulations to all three of you!

Ashley December 19, 2010 at 3:35 pm

I love reading through your birth story, thank you for sharing! Your little boy is so cute :) I had my little one a few days before!

Val December 19, 2010 at 3:43 pm

“As someone who…didn’t so much as have a sip of…wine during pregnancy”

Am I crazy? I seem to remember reading this: “Last night I cheers-ed B with my very last glass (large glass) of wine. CHEERS TO ME BEING PREGNANT. What? I’m only 8 days pregnant.” (7/20/2010) And also, this: “I will have conservative small glasses of bliss and wonder and love. And maybe sleep for once in my life again. WINE!” (9/23/2010)

MODG December 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Yes I had a glass of wine the day I found out that I was pregnant. From then I did not. 9/23 I did not have wine. Trust me that I wanted to, but we made the decision that it’s better to just wait it out. But thank you wine police for pointing that out.

Allison Zapata December 19, 2010 at 5:23 pm

wow. wine police indeed.

Bethany December 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

seriously.

Nicole December 19, 2010 at 6:29 pm

I usually don’t comment on blogs, but… Val did you mean to be a bitch? Because you sure came off that way. Did you search back through her posts to find these? What a waste of time and an inappropriate comment to make on this beautiful birth story. MODG, congratulations to you and your beautiful family!

Melissa December 19, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Wow. Val should have someone give her a cervical check. Cause her shit is TIGHT. Weirdo.

Ashleigh Moore December 20, 2010 at 12:13 pm

I agree, that was inappropriate. This woman has just shared something very personal with us and this is all you have to say?

Demi December 20, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Uhm…the F? wildly innapropriate comment for someone who just wrote a fantasticly personal story about a precious part of her life. Ugh.

Carrie @ Laugh Love Eat Ice Cream December 19, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Congratulations! You have a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your pregnancy and birth with such openess. I’ve learned a lot and have enjoyed reading your blog so much over the past few months. Merry Christmas!

LynzB December 19, 2010 at 3:50 pm

You look so amazingly beautiful! And B looks soooo in love with G! And G has the most perfectly shaped little head and perfect little handsome face (yay for some of the benefits of a C-section)! Your family is beautiful, and I’m just so happy for you. Soak up every moment; this awesome newborn phase goes so fast… Enjoy every second, and your first glass of wine in 9 months! Cheers! Xoxo

One Ring to Rule Them All December 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Hey Val, are you being serious or just joshing? Cuz I can’t tell over the interwebs.

Amy December 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Gavin is amazing and I am so happy he was born healthy! I do have to say I understand the horrible reaction to the epidural, I had the same and vomited for my entire labor… I thought something was wrong with me so even though you were miserable you made me feel better!
But again, Gavin is a very handsome little man and I know you’re going to be an awesome mom and embarrass him sufficiently when he gets older… if you need tips let me know because I’m a pro at making my kids turn all shades!

Andrea December 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm

3 things here:

1) I was a LITTLE disappointed that there was no sparkle bra, but….fine.
2) Most babies come out looking all splotchy, and weird…but leave it to your kid to come out picture perfect ready for his close up. I mean C’mon…his color, every thing. he looks perfect!
3.) “I don’t know nothin about birthin’ no babies” BUT…..it sounds like Plank—er Gavin…..was headed for a C-section regardless with all that cord wrappage – head lodged business, so please please don’t blame yourself. You tried to do all the research you could and when it came down to it, you did what is you thought was right. don’t carry around regrets or blame. PLUS….it makes for a good story. if he slipped right out in an hour, borrrring. not good material. Not your style. its gotta be a big to do! :)

Congrats Modg family!

Andrea December 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I forgot to add…..you look amazing too….no puffy face..no bags under the eyes….whats with you people??
:)

lilliebean December 20, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Oh my gosh I agree! and she’s already SO skinny! SOOO not cool.

Harbormom December 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I made myself read all my other blog subscriptions and save yours til last – like dessert. You obviously have your head screwed on straight. Great attitude about the whole birth extravaganza. The bottom line (no pun intended re your vajayjay) is that you have that wonderful, gorgeous, healthy boy, no more butt-bumps and no episiotomy! Yea! Hope you are back home now and boosting your breast milk with fruit of the vine. I’ll lift a glass to you myself at dinner tonight.

Mandy S. December 19, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I’m sorry that your birth didn’t got the way that you planned. I know the feeling, because the day before you had little Gavin, I went through pretty close to the same thing. Except instead of being early and everything happening because of impatience (I don’t blame you, I tried everything you did it just didn’t work for me) mine occurred 5 days late. I am glad to read that you’re ultimately okay with it, though. :)

You have a very beautiful son, and I wish you all the luck with him and your new family.

GMom December 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

MODG – Congrats on Gavin! Couldn’t wait to hear the last bit of his birth story. Sorry you didn’t get the birth you wanted or envisioned. I actually had a scheduled c-section a few months ago – which was exactly what I wanted- and it was a fabulous experience! Maybe for your next birth you can just get it scheduled – line up your spray tan, blowout, mani/pedi, visitors, etc. and then just use the zipper again! I hear recovery from a second c-section is even easier! Just wanted to give you something positive to think about! Really your vag will thank you one day!

Brittney December 19, 2010 at 4:09 pm

So…I had that happen to me…I went into the hospital in labor…stuck at 1cm…they gave me pitocin…progressed to 3 cm…AFTER 32 HOURS. Since my water had broken also, they gave me the “He could get an infection if we don’t take him now via C-Section so his life is in your hands as if you’re God, but it’s up to you for liability purposes.” So of course after being exhausted from the preceeding 32 hours, I was like..I just want my son to be here…do whatever.

I hope you didn’t have the same problem as me…when I got the spinal I couldnt feel my lungs, so I felt like I wasnt breathing…I kept telling my husband “Im dying…I love you…I cant breathe…Im dying.”

But I now have two children…so obvs it wasnt THAT bad…it was at the time. I cried about the whole experience for a few weeks after.

The only thing I want to say to you, that I didnt know…is if you and B plan on having more…talk to your doctor and hospital (or doula and birthing center) about their time limits on VBAC’s (Vaginal birth after cesarean). I know this isnt probably in the immediate future, but some hospitals require 2 and 3 years between births for you to have a child vaginally (for liability reasons, I believe)…so if you ever do want to have a vaginal birth – look into that once you even THINK about baby #2 because of the minimum time being YEARS. :)

Congrats to you and B and G..and you looked hot in your recovery room pics…so damn you. Haha.

Good luck! And he is SOOOOOO perfect!

brittney December 19, 2010 at 4:16 pm

omg hes adorable!!!

Sarah RDH December 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I think it’s good for you to have done as much researchedness as you did during yoru pregnancy; you’re right, everyone should know all the different options. Agreeing with a previous poster- yes, parenthood is NEVER as planned! lol Again, I really hope you don’t feel disappointed that things didn’t go according to plan. Some things will just be out of your control, no matter what. And it sounds like that’s what happened! And I know PLENTY of ppl that have done all the castor oil, and all of that trying to speed things up (not me, I’m scared shitless of going into labor on my own & I NEVER wanted it to happen! But I digress…) and some ppl swear by all of that & think it’s great. And some ppl don’t. So try not to be should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. You gus are healthy, and Gavin was coming no matter what! :) He is beautiful, yay for B for taking those 4am shifts- those are hard! Oh and also agreeing with a previous poster- my 2nd c-section was even easier than my first. Again, not the same for everyone, but it was. Enjoy these first few weeks! He will grow so fast!!

Gabriela December 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm

After laughing hysterically at your posts for the past few months, I was shocked to cry like a baby after reading this one. I’ve truly admired you as a rock star for even considering the natural child birth thing and I’m sorry you ended up having to go against all that you had planned. I still think you are a rock star for doing what’s best for your baby. Congratulations to you all!! You look amazing.

Sarah RDH December 19, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Oh yeah, and I vom’d the entire way through my 2nd c/s. The whole frickin time. But I was already feeling sick, bc I had the iv antibiotics- and I tend to get sick with antibiotics anyway. But yes, I did the whole turn head & puke thing the whole time. I did the shaking thing with my 1st one. I didn’t get to hold my son for over an hour, bc I was shaking so bad they wouldn’t give him to me. But I also never wanted anyone throwing a fresh born baby on my chest either. I told my dr that at my first appt, and I asked her if that made me a bad person, and if anyone else asked that. She told me that ppl do ask that a lot, so no, I am in fact not a horrible person. I just wanted my first look at my baby, to be that perfect, clean, all swaddled up newborn look. I didn’t want it to be screaming, bloody, unknown gooey substance, blue baby. But they did hold him up so I could see as they cleaned him up. And I made my hubs go over there while they did it. lol I’m just not into the mess part of it all.

CK December 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Congratulations, he is SO beautiful. And this is coming from a woman who generally finds newborns to look like aliens.

And I’m not sure what the deal is with Val’s comment above… even if she’s joking, it was uncalled for. Like she’d been waiting 9 months to bash you about your wine. Weird!

Samantha December 19, 2010 at 4:26 pm

You two made one adorable little baby!! and very jealous you look gorgeous after popping out a baby shortly before these pictures were taken. congratulations to the new parents!

Sara Strand December 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm

But… if he was sideways, with the cord situation, AND your placenta detaching…. it’s a damn good thing you didn’t go home. We could be MODG and Plankton-less. I had both babies in the hospital and had really great nurses. We have two major hospitals in town and I went with the one without the NICU unit because I liked the nurses much better. They were fab and explained everything every step of the way and let me ask questions and gave me options. I was lucky because I felt like no matter what was happening I was in control of the situation and they were relying on me and what I was feeling.

Um… are you breastfeeding? Because if you are…. can you drink alcohol? I never breastfed so I’m not sure. You *might* want to check that! :)

MODG December 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I can have 4oz of wine safely if I wait to breastfeed for 2 hours after that.

drea December 19, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Breastfeeding ROCKS and makes you skinny! All my friends are super jealous when I eat like a teenager and actually lose weight.

Did you know you can get these little strips to test the level of alcohol in your milk? Seriously!!

Karena December 20, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I have worked closely with lactation consultants (and want to be one myself) and breastfed for over a year. I can safely tell you that alcohol LEAVES your breastmilk once you are sober. NO need to pump and dump and waste that liquid gold. Don’t feel guilty about hittin a club (when you’re up and about) and using the frozen BM and waiting for morning to feed. Also, the alcohol goes through your liver and the rest of your body BEFORE it ever enters your BM, so the amount in there in the first place is very minimal on one drink. Check out kellymom.com, tons of valuable BFing info.

Allison Zapata December 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Its all about the pump and dump, baby!
Love,
Someone who didn’t breastfeed her kid

Winn December 19, 2010 at 9:18 pm

I’ve heard (from obs nurses) that a little wine/beer helps let the milk down and flow better. Good news, eh?! :D

Sarah vL December 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Serious MODG feels so sad! I’m bummed for you that it wasn’t anything like you hoped, but in the end you have a healthy, COMPLETELY GORGEOUS baby boy – and you’re healthy and alive as well! Seriously though, you are such an incredibly beautiful family.

Ps: YAY WINE AGAIN!!! The woman I nanny for was told that she could drink and breastfeed as long as she didn’t feel drunk while she did it (to ‘ensure’ the alcohol was out of her system). That didn’t seem like the most scientifically safe thing to me, but it works for her! There are also those strips you can test your milk with that Kourtney Kardashian used… haha!

betty December 19, 2010 at 5:07 pm

*happy tears!*

MODG–i’ve been following your blog regularly since my 3rd trimester. i was due yesterday but had my baby girl a week ago dec 10 and I can say that all of your sentiments and reflections about birth and all the decisions are SO TRUE!! and so much better than i couldve expressed myself. my daughter’s birth was fairly drama-free but some things didn’t go as planned and parts of the recovery have been harder than expected to handle. So it’s been a huge comfort to me to read your blog and knowing someone else out there is going through many of the same emotions and experienced right now (except for the part about you already being within 7 lbs of your pre-pregnancy weight…omg, i am beyond jealous!) Thank you so much for sharing your story and for helping me keep my sanity. You did such a good job, btw–you have a beautiful family!! Raising my glass of pinot noir to you guys tonight! internet love from nyc–betty

Zizette December 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

First of all, you all look fabulous. Congratulations. Yes you need to be informed and don’t let anyone sway you anyway you should go. The final outcome was a fine healthy baby. There are good stories and bad stories out there for all different types of births. Have that glass of wine when you are good and ready and I will toast mine to you this evening.

Zizette

Allison Zapata December 19, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Congrats to you! He is gorgeous!! I had the same reaction to my c-section cocktail. No fun. But all worth it. Enjoy that baby and welcome to this crazy world.

xoxoxo

Lori December 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm

MODG I am glad you’re not beating yourself up about G’s birth. A baby lodged in the pelvic will most likely lead to a C-sec anyway or should. My daughter had a vag birth with a shoulder lodged in the pelvic bone and it was truamatic for her, me and baby daddy. It was Awful ( note the capitalization on awful – hardey har har) and she should have had a c-sec. She ended up needing blood transfusion, too early release, 2 ER visits and it took along time to recover with little baby bonding due to the trauma and weakness. So with that said, you did nothing wrong…and you got a cutie pie baby boy.
Drink you’re wine..it’s good for ya.
Val- you’re an idiot.
That’s all – out.

Jen December 19, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Congratulations! Gavin is so adorable, and you looking AMAZING for all that time you spent in labor. Don’t let B tell him the “dangers” of online shopping, we all know that is a lie!
Enjoy every moment of the first few weeks – they will fly by!

Jen

Lucy December 19, 2010 at 5:50 pm

That is one gorgeous baby! Congratulations!!!

Bethany December 19, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Congratulations! Gavin is adorable!

Lluvia December 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Gavin came to this world that way he meant to come. We plan and plan but things will come out the way they are meant to be in the end. I think you chose great. You did everything you believed was best for you and your baby to the end, including the c-section. It was meant to be. :-)

Thank you for sharing your exciting birth story with us. I don’t think anyone should say “I told you so.” If you have another child, you have another chance to do it again, and this time, you will have experience and will know more. It’s how I see it. You are very right, we have choices!! There are many things I wish I had said “no” to and “yes” to.

Lluvia December 19, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Ok…one more thing and then, I’m done! LOL
I wanted to be drugged when it came to the pushing part, as I had no intention of experiencing the pain, so I had an epidural, because that’s how I planned it; but in then end, it didn’t work. I had her NATURALLY! I felt EVERREEEETHING!!
IT.
HURT.
LIKE.
HELL.

:Lluvia December 19, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Oh, and you all look great! Gavin is adorable!!!
Drink your wine!! And if you are uncertain, get your alcohol testing kit for breastmilk! They sell them at Walgreens! ;-)

Azine December 19, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Congratulations! You are one strong momma for what you went through! He’s adorbz!

Am I the only one that noticed (what appears to be) the 30 Day Shred video in the background of the 2nd to last pic? :) That’s determination! :)

Anna December 19, 2010 at 6:19 pm

So glad to hear you have a healthy, beautiful baby boy. In college I had to have major surgery to put a tube in my head after over a year of missed diagnosis and lots of alternative treatement for migraines. I still do yoga, get accupuncture and go to a chiropractor but never doubt the importance of traditional medicine, it saved my life. Do not underestimate its importance. Be happy you have access to great medical care, in the developing world 150 per 1000 babies die. In 1900, 1 in 100 mothers died in childbirth. We are all very lucky for our choices and I think its a great idea that you did not go home. I appreciate your candor and honesty, it has made me think long and hard about my own delivery in 20 weeks. Thanks again, cannot wait to hear about the next wonderful chapter. (You look amazing in your pics, as per usual).

KraizeeKatt December 19, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Congrats on Gavin’s arrival! He is just beautiful. Now settle down with a well deserved glass of wine and please do tell how you finally decided on his name! Oh and post pics of him too in that GORGEOUS nursery of his. How do your cats like the newest member of your family? When my son came home, mine could have cared less. I think one was disappointed she could no longer snooze in his bouncy seat. HA!

Mary December 19, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Thanks for sharing your story. With my own daughter due in just a few short weeks, I have a lot yet to learn. Congrats – you all look great. Such a beautiful little family.

Molly December 19, 2010 at 7:25 pm

okay, I have to say, while I was out christmas shopping, I had to CHECK YOUR BLOG on my phone, in a bathroom at the mall, while my 4 year old was peeing, so I could keep up with the birth story.

that out of the way….Gavin is beautiful. In your pics he looked so ready to be born, don’t get hung up on what you did/could have done/blah blah blah. You never know what can happen. My son took 31 hours to be born, my daughter, 3.5. Just very happy for you.

Cheers!!! : )

autumn December 19, 2010 at 7:40 pm

My experience was really similar to yours even with the shaking and puking while being strapped down. Scary! They sucked mine out with one of the things like they use to suck out spit at the dentist. At first I thought it was normal b/c I was naseous from day one, why not end the same way I found out! You have a gorgeous family! Best wishes and congrats!

Ashley December 19, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Hip Hip Hooray for you and B and Gavin!! Love the pictures. Gavin is an adorable, amazingly cute baby. And you look so great in those pictures!

Also, hurray for being able to have a glass of wine again. I know I can’t live without it… :)

Emily F December 19, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Oh, Sister. I have a darling 7 month old girlie and I KNOW. I know. Our stories are so much the same. Natural natural natural and then BOOM, C section. I progressed to 10 and pushed for 2 hours with no med intervention at all. Then, stuck head, cord wrapped, scary doctor faces, exhausted mommy, beyond exhausted and scared daddy, major surgery. I feel the exact same way as you, the time after they took her out was so, so sad. I can’t think about being alone and sliced open with no baby on my chest without being really sad. It’s even hard for me to say I “gave birth”‘ as she was actually lifted out of me. But. I’m also grateful she’s fine and was fine and will be fine. That was just the beginning of our story together and like you, I’d do it again. I’m so proud of you and congrats on the pics, I looked terrible! I’m not even sure I brushed my teeth for about 2 days. :) Enjoy that baby!

Skooks December 20, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Things with my first daughter went so similarly to this . . . ugh. But in the end she was healthy and beautiful and perfect and all that stuff. :) Just wanted to toss out there, though I’m sure it’s not completely on your mind at the moment, that I DID end up having a wonderful, natural, successful VBAC with my son. It is possible.

Anyway, congratulations! So very happy for you all. He is just lovely.

Winn December 19, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Okay, anyone who says “see? I told you so” should be b!tch-slapped. No one could have known. You don’t know that you did anything wrong. Primrose oil probably did NOT turn Gavin’s head sideways in your pelvis, and your hypno-babies meditation stuff did NOT wrap the cord around his neck. It’s doubtful that even you had anything to do with your placenta detaching. I know you’re awesome and powerful, MODG, but you’re not THAT powerful. ;)

I hope you’re resting easy with your sweet new boy, especially in the knowledge that you did the best you could for both you and your son. That’s all anyone can do. He’s beautiful and healthy and you can drink wine now. All’s well that ends well.

Sending super-sparkle rainbow hearts,
Winn

Denise December 19, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Amanda…I am so glad that little Gavin is well…You did the best that you can. I did talk to the ladies about your story in yoga class. and reminded them to be patient. I hope that you remember to keep that patience as you go forward. You need patience and flexibility the whole time you are raising that gorgeous boy. Flexibility is key b/c the one thing I learned being a mom is that once you think you have your kid figured out they change. You did what you thought was best. The important thing is that Gavin is healthy and you are healing. Give your self a break. Enjoy that wine :) Looking forward to seeing Gavin in person.

Gini December 19, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Yaaaaay, happy birthday, Gavin! MODG, glad you’re okay. :)

Janet December 19, 2010 at 8:50 pm

He’s beautiful and you should be so proud of yourself. I’ll be doing this whole thing in three months or so, so thank you for the advice. Thanks for letting us share all these experiences with you!

PS: Totally envying you on the wine. I just told my husband that the big, glowy electronic sign at the liquor store we always pass is taunting me. :)

Rebecca December 19, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Thank you for sharing this. As someone who does not have kids yet, following this whole pregnancy and birth story was really informative and eye opening in great ways. It sounds like everything you took from this experience was really positive for your life in general and like you’ll be a better mom because of the experience. Great lessons learned and a very sound perspective. In the end, congratulations on a healthy and beautiful baby boy and on making the best decisions you could at each step of the way. All the best to your whole family.

Drea December 19, 2010 at 9:15 pm

A nurse friend of mine once told me that “one intervention leads to another.” Well, isn’t that the damn truth?

I’m a huge advocate of natural birth and have done it twice. That said, it was, for whatever reason, super easy-peasy for me. Who knows why. However, if I had even an inkling that something could go wrong, I would have been like, load up the drugs and cut this baby out of me asap. You do what you have to do for your little one. You are right, you have to be your own advocate, but here’s where live changes – you are now Gavin’s advocate too! An entire precious little life in your hands. Wow. It’s a ton of pressure, but kinda of incredibly amazing, too.

My first born is named Gavin too, by the way :) <3 I declare it the best name ever!

Cheers and congrats to you all! Are you now MADG? (A = And)?? Because if there is one thing parenthood makes me want to do, it's drink more. Like, lots more. Just kidding. Sort of.

drea December 19, 2010 at 9:16 pm

That should have said here’s where “life” changes.

Because clearly, I am drinking as I type. Eggnog daq… holla!

JeN December 20, 2010 at 9:40 am

Or instead of MADG, just think of MODG as meaning Mom Of Delightful Gavin. Teehee!

Colleen December 21, 2010 at 11:31 pm

ok- i **JUST** realized that MODG stands for Martinis or Diaper Genies…I’ve been wondering since I started reading this blog a month or two ago why it was modg.com, but martinis or diaper genies on facebook. I’m a moron.

That said- CONGRATS! Your story and your honesty are beautiful. And seriously, Gav is frickin’ adorable. I thought my son was the most beautiful, normal, non-face-deformed/puffified newborn baby in the world 7 months ago when he was born, but I’m going to have to concede that Gavin kicks his cute little butt.

And from someone who had a rather difficult delivery (but by no means as difficult as yours) just keep your eyes open for postpartum depression- it is more common for those of us with difficult labors. And for the first 3 months all those hormones are wreaking havoc on your emotions and you will think that you never feel normal again. You will. And you have an online community rooting for you mama! You will be awesome! Think about how well you took care of Gavin in the womb…making as many good choices as you could…you’ll only get better from here!

Julialifeisart December 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Congratulations! What a beautiful baby & mama. Thanks for sharing your story.

Jackie December 19, 2010 at 9:28 pm

I am SO happy for you and your adorable family! And I am also happy that you’re okay and so is your beautiful baby! I’m sorry the birth plan didnt really go as you wanted it to, but could understand what you mean when you say you’d do it all again, etc… You rock and congratulations, girlie! :)

Reen December 19, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Sorry about the c-section. I had an emergency c-section too, wasn’t what I planned but it got my babe out safely! Congratulations!! He is such a beautiful little angel!

Melissa December 19, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Great perspective. Birth is a mindfuck, that is for sure. The only thing that feels painful is when those of us who want and long for one experience, get another one (whether that is the NCB Mama who ends up with a CS or the “OMG gimme the drugz” Mama ends up with precipitous labor and delivers naturally………..we all have our own hopes and dreams for birth. Of course the ultimate dream and hope is a healthy baby…..but don’t let that thought process make you feel guilty for mourning what you had planned. Just like you nurtured and loved little plank, you nurtured and dreamed of his birth being one way. It was different. And it was good, because he is healthy, but it was different. It is okay to mourn the loss of the birth you envisioned while loving the handsome little bugger that birth produced. I swear, it is. Don’t feel like you need to be “over it” already ~ you don’t. You can love him impossibly perfectly while still processing the fact that you had a different experience that you had planned.

He is beautiful. Many giant congrats. Enjoy your babymoon!

audrey December 19, 2010 at 9:51 pm

what a journey. so many congrats. your family is gorgeous! love gavin’s hair. motherhood is awesome.

Regina December 19, 2010 at 9:59 pm

I am sorry things didn’t go as planned, and c-sections do suck. I’ve had 3 of them, and my 2nd was like yours with the reaction to the anesthesia and the trying to vomit, but the other 2 went just fine, which is weird. You did the best you could, and no matter what happened, you have this adorable little man to make up for it. Thanks for sharing your story-

TeeeRay December 19, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Oh me. The best laid plans … change. How I wish I’d had something like this to read back when I was squeezing babies out. I felt so alone sometimes! From here on, it’s gonna get super serious raising a child but whoa! What a start you’ve had! So happy you are well!
The pics are nothing short of wonderful!!

lilliebean December 19, 2010 at 10:44 pm

Bless your sweet little heart. You’re wonderful. Love the pictures, y’all are SO beautiful! So happy baby G is doing great!

loves.

Audra December 19, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Your baby is so incredibly beautiful. What a face! He’s perfect!

I wish your labor and delivery had gone as planned. As you go down the road with Baby G, other things will not go as you planned. From one mama to another, grieve a little and then let it go. Give him lots of that good boo-boo milk, cuddle, and enjoy your babymoon!

P.S. For what it’s worth- my first labor, 25 hours of hard, my second, four hours and I was laughing as he came out. I know you can’t think that far ahead right now, but, just keep the thought… :o)

Liz December 19, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Congratluations!!!! Your son is beautiful and you look so happy.

Lil' Woman December 20, 2010 at 1:27 am

He is precious…..ooh how I love those little fluffy cheeks of his!
Adorable…and of course your as gorgeous as ever.

ZDub December 20, 2010 at 2:15 am

I know we’ve talked about this already, but I also used evening primrose and raspberry tea and that doesn’t make you up and have PROM. He. Was. Large. 2 weeks early and already 8 lb/4oz? Girl, you were out of room and all plugged up. I understand completely how you feel though about your birth. When I didn’t get my home water birth with Zoe and delivered her almost ten pound self after 5 hours of pushing with a ob/gyn I didn’t even know who gave me an episiotomy that I didn’t want, in a hospital I had never been to, where I had no bag packed and I was devastated. Devastated. I felt like an absolute failure and I actually grieved my healthy child’s birth. Then I thought I was completely effed up and losing my damn mind for doing so, but I was so upset and everyone kept saying that I needed to let it go, she’s healthy. I made peace with it sort of, seven years later, when Troy was born and everything went the way I hoped (except for the home birth part, which I’m saving for my grand finale #3).

Point of this: You were a kick ass preggo, “idiot example” hardly, and I’m wicked proud of you. And I love Gavin.

XOXO-Your virtual doula

Rach December 20, 2010 at 9:42 am

“He. Was. Large. 2 weeks early and already 8 lb/4oz?” — this is my thought exactly. Good NIGHT. You were just out of room. He was on pace to be a Thanksgiving turkey.

May I say, quite frankly: I am VERY grateful for your candor and honesty and humor (and Internet Balls!) in telling the story to a bunch of people who are essentially strangers. I can’t speak for the rest of Pla- I mean Gavin’s virtual aunts, but I know that I feel far better informed about pregnancy and options than I did before. I’m not on the babymaking train just yet, but every now and then I can hear the ol’ tickticktick… and it helps a ton to have perspective that is more than just the sunshine and rainbows “you’re going to loooooove being a moooooommmmmyyyyyy” tack that glosses over the hard/gross stuff.

A big toast to all three of you. Hope you have a WONDERFUL Baby’s First Christmas!!

Sara December 20, 2010 at 8:18 am

Thank you so much for sharing. You’re a rockstar and Gavin is absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story and showing us a little side of serious birth MODG. So happy for you and B and happy you can drink WINE NOW!

Kaye December 20, 2010 at 9:02 am

You look freaking ridiculous….you’re GORGEOUS! You can have wine, just be sure to pump first :P I’m sure you knew that though. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience. At least you have a good story to tell Gavin, and remind him when he gets to the “I hate you” teenage years, that you went through this in order to get him here. Also, at least you didn’t have to have your vag cut, now you dont have to worry about that stupid squirt bottle lol.

Kass December 20, 2010 at 9:05 am

Everyone is gorgeous in the photos, but that shot of your husband with Gavin is just ONE AWESOME PHOTO!

Congrats again.

Jill December 20, 2010 at 9:11 am

Gorgeous photos! Gorgeous baby! Glad to hear it was all worth it in the end!

Bring on the WINE!!!

Jenn December 20, 2010 at 9:42 am

Congratulations! You have a beautiful baby! I am right there with you on the birth story. I knew I would have to have a c-section weeks in advance, and I hated the though. I tried lots of things to avoid it, but it was ultimately better than I thought it would be. And, of course, when healthy/happy baby and mom are the final result, it doesn’t really matter how you get there.
Cheers to win! You’ll be drinking more in the weeks/months/years to come. I think it’s required to maintain sanity in motherhood!

Lacey December 20, 2010 at 9:46 am

Congratulations! Gavin is such a cutie and thanks for sharing your journey with all of us!

Tamara December 20, 2010 at 9:49 am

YOU’RE the rockstar. I had a c-section 7 months ago and the recovery was hellish. You look amazing, your husband is adorable and Gavin is EDIBLE! Mazel tov to you and your new family, honey. Enjoy!

Kaela December 20, 2010 at 9:56 am

Amanda, you are gorgeous and amazing and a rock star – and so is Gavin. And B as well. I know nothing about birth and won’t pretend to, but I’m glad you’ve made peace with the birth and I will remember the lessons you learned and shared with us should I ever decide to procreate. It sounds like a really scary and painful ordeal and I’m sorry you had to go through all those hours of uncertainty before you were able to hold your child! I’m happy that you and your family are all healthy and together for the holidays!

Katie December 20, 2010 at 10:11 am

MODG, pretty sure he is the most beautiful baby boy – of course I wouldn’t expect anything less from you two. Congrats!!! Love your story because it’s honest and that’s what makes you my fav blogger! :) Now let’s talk about wine, lots of it!

Lorah December 20, 2010 at 10:14 am

Congratulations MODG!! Thank you for being so honest :) It is so nice to hear the actual troubles. It makes me feel like I am getting more prepared for when we decide to have one!! You look amazing and congrats on almost being back to before baby weight!!!! Gavin is adorable :)

Ofjonesfame December 20, 2010 at 10:14 am

Amanda you are a solider! <3
I labored for 9 hours at home and when I got to the hospital I had my belt around my arm, vein popped, and BEGGEdfor dope the instant I got there. For you to go so long with out a stitch of feel good juice says a lot! I too had an emergency c-section (which I blame on the epidural) so I feel your pain! Happy to hear the 3 of you made it through safely. Thank you for sharing this with us! I think the first go around for some of us is a shitty ass expierence. We read, research, watch YouTube videos of women shooting a hippopotamus out of their once in tact, now destroyed vagina and think we are ready for it. Truth is Noone ever knows what to expect. I didn't. I seriously assumed it was going to be a breeze and when labor started I cried like a bitch. No… I wailed, cried, threw fits because people were talking to much, cursed my nurse so bad she didn't return and felt the whole wide world of billions of women who have had babies just didn't understand the pain I was in because it was much worse than there's.. X 1,000,000,000. Then bam shit goes south and your laying on a table as they slice you open. (they straight lasered me open! Smelled like burning nasty gross flesh) fuck it!

I'm sure then nexttime around will be better for the both of us!

Xoxo Gavin is so kissable and I can't wait to hear all about him as he grows up! I could care less about wine stories, toilet shots, vodka shots, tittle shots… Wait…

Love,
E-Aunt Amanda <3

JP December 20, 2010 at 10:19 am

Gavin is such a beautiful boy! Congrats to you and B. Loved reading your story, it’s nice to hear a real birth story.

MommyLisa December 20, 2010 at 10:20 am

Good for you. I love the attitude, the love, the beautiful baby and you are right – you always have to do what is right for you.

Mindy December 20, 2010 at 10:23 am

Thanks for sharing your story, and what a great great attitude you have about the whole thing.. he is truly beautiful. I have an 11 month (tomorrow) old – and every time I think about how fast this year went I cry a little! Enjoy that baby mama!! Congrats.

Kristine December 20, 2010 at 10:30 am

I can definitely relate to your birth story – it is similar to what I went through when I had my first baby. I went into preterm labor and they held it off with different drugs that I think negatively affected my body to labor the way it normally would have. I always wonder what might have happened if things had gone differently! When I finally did have my daughter, I had pushed for 4 hours – and like Gavin – her head was stuck in my pelvis because it was sort of turned sideways. I remember feeling the same exact way you did after she was born – no one was with me, I didn’t get to hold my baby right away, you feel so lonely and just NOT what you expect the first moments after birth to feel like! Glad you’re doing well now – thanks for sharing your story!

Windycitykelleys December 20, 2010 at 10:39 am

CONGRATULATIONS ~ he’s beautiful!!!

Katie December 20, 2010 at 10:49 am

Ok…
I LOVE my super fun MODG but you have no idea how amazing it is to read this. I am not pregnant, I doubt I will be in the immediate future (that involves a man right?!) but I feel like I should know what to expect now, and at the same time be ready for anything. You are such an incredible person…I love that when I’m reading your blog I can actually tell how you feel and what you’re thinking…its such raw emotion, whether its good or bad. I’m sorry things didn’t happen to your exact specifications little miss “on point” but sometimes I think things rock our world just to show us that we can’t plan everything….although I’m sure it drove you CRAZY. I am super proud of you and I think you are just amazing and Gavin and B are super lucky to have a wife/mom who is such an intelligent woman. (I know it sounds like i’m kissing ass and i’m sure you love it, but its all just the truth) I look forward to lots of updates and lots more Wine!!!

Becky Mochaface December 20, 2010 at 11:26 am

He is beautiful. Congratulations to you guys!

C December 20, 2010 at 11:40 am

Wow. You have such a beautiful family! Gavin is pecious and you look fabulous. Here’s to hoping you feel as great as you look!

hotpants™ December 20, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Thanks for sharing. There’s at least one person out there who needed to hear this. All that matters in the end is that he’s perfect. And he is!

Teisha December 20, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Funny how kids have a way of making their own plans and screwing ours up. That does not change by the way.

Great story – thanks for sharing!

Teisha December 20, 2010 at 12:39 pm

PS – Hooray for the skinnies!

kelly @Dare to be Domestic December 20, 2010 at 12:25 pm

He’s so absolutely adorable! It sounds like a long, rough ride but with the best payoff ever! I’m so happy for you all. Thank you for being so honest and up front about everything. Sure it creeped me out and made me second guess having kids {coughadoptcough} but bottom line you’re one brave and powerful woman and that rocks!!!

Veronique December 20, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I just love this post so much. You know your stuff and don’t let anyone make you doubt that! You are already such an amazing mom! I love how you just explained how you do what you gotta do for that special little boy…. some people think you should have done this or not done that and then they like to share how theirs was probably harder than yours or maybe really easier and better cause they did this and they didn’t do that. blahblahblah but youre right! Every woman has the path that she takes for her family. Know your options and do what is best for you and your family. It is what it is and you have a healthy baby boy with a wonderful mother! :) Congrats!

Meli December 20, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Down.to.the.last.drop! My birth story. Well, except I never had a mid wife. And so you may feel better….I did not do any of the primrose, or etc.etc….and my water still broke and I never dialated. C-section it was. And Layla did the same thing as Gavin…no cry. I was in hell….crying! And then I heard her….so happy for ya’ll!!! Gavin is so very cute. Moving on…to WINE!!!! Congrats….

Jessica December 20, 2010 at 1:40 pm

I seriously have baby envy right now. So jealous.
He’s beautiful and your beautiful and B is beautiful. :)

Mary Sia in TX December 20, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Thank you for sharing so candidly! I read your story with my mouth agape because you described almost verbatim what happened to me and my feelings afterwards. I tried to be relaxed about it, but that’s not my nature (I get things done! and I was 6 days past my due date! I hate being late!), and ended up wishing I had let nature take it’s course a little more, and had thought of my options ahead of time concerning the emergency C-section. My consolation is that when/if we do have another one at some point, I will know when it’s time to take charge, and when it’s time to let things go naturally as my body feels it. Live and learn :)

Seriously, you guys made a beautiful little boy whois much loved (by y’all and interwebs strangers alike it seems!). Congratulations!

And AMEN for breastfeeding and wine.

AlexandraL December 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm

MODG – Gavin is SO handsome!!! You’re a rockstar for handling all the complicated decisions and doing whatever it took to bring your little man into the world. Sounds like a natural birth could have been not so sparkly and sunshiney in Little G’s case. It should be noted that you look fantastic in these pics, btw.

Cheers – enjoy your wine!!!

Heather December 20, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Congrats! I had a c-section as well and it is a bit scary/sad to not be able to see or hear your baby right away, a healthy baby is always worth it. You made the right decision to stay in the hospital. Enjoy every second as it goes too fast.

Sara December 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm

I LOVE BIRTH STORIES.

I hate when you get the abridge version where someone says, “I had contractions at 11pm that night and by next morning, with some grunting and pushing, she was born!” Nope. I want the goods. I want all of it. And you delivered (can a sister get a rim-shot?).

So pleased to know that it all ended well and that everyone is healthy.

michelle December 20, 2010 at 2:44 pm

absolutely perfect, amanda and b! he’s gorgeous. and trust me, not every baby is cute – but yours definitely is! he could be a little newborn baby model. you could be rich and famous! welcome to the world baby gavin!

Christy December 20, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I also had to have an unplanned c section after a long vomit-y labor and hours of pushing (though not as long or as vomit-y as yours!). It was a little tough to come to terms with, because the possibility of a c section never entered my mind, but when all was said and done, I had a healthy baby in my arms, and that’s what was important. Congrats on the little one, he is precious! Rest up, enjoy a glass or 5 of wine, and have B do all of the diaper changes until you heal!

Ashleigh Moore December 20, 2010 at 5:04 pm

I cried sad tears when I read “I had to have a c section”. I knew it was coming but I was hoping I was wrong. I’m sorry your experience so so scary. (more sad tears) Then I saw the pictures of your baby and you and B and I cried happy tears. I’m sorry things did not go the way you planned. I don’t think anybody expects you to be “over it” already and I don’t think its ok for you to continue to blame your self. You planned to be brave and strong and you were. Having a baby is hard work even if things go alright. I had an epidural the first time and I’m planning on having one again in three months. Thinking about doing it naturally really scares me but you were willing to take that on and take it all the way. We are all (your readers) so proud of you!!!

ashley December 20, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I want a natural birth and I as I was reading all of this, I felt how hard it must have been for you to do it the way you did…but as you said, in the end you have a healthy baby boy, and that is the most important part!!!
And, the weight just falling of of you…I wanted to say BITCH, but I guess you deserve at least that for all that you had to go through with your change of birth plans!
He is gorgeous!!

Ashleigh Moore December 20, 2010 at 5:07 pm

I meant to write “I’m sorry your experince WAS so scary”

Ashleigh Moore December 20, 2010 at 5:08 pm

screw it, I can’t type straight today

Ashleigh Moore December 20, 2010 at 5:28 pm

I also wanted to send you happy thoughts in the form of a fun song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E5m_XtCX3c

Enjoy!

Alexandria December 20, 2010 at 5:10 pm

beautiful pictures & beautiful baby! i’m sorry you didn’t get the birth you planned. i know exactly how you feel because neither did i. i didn’t have to have a c-section but still nothing went the way i wanted. and i totally agree with you when you said the most important thing is to be your own advocate and learn more and plan more. with fingers crossed i hope my next birth will go the way i planned, but even if it doesn’t the end result of a healthy baby & healthy me is more important! have a great christmas!

oh and ps even though gavin was born more before christmas then you thought i just want to say he certainly still qualifies to be jesus :-) so marry christmas mary, joseph and baby jesus!

Demi December 20, 2010 at 8:31 pm

CONGRATS MODG! I feel like I know you and your fam just by reading your blog, and that goes to show you that you really do have a heart of gold just from reading all these comments! (aside from all the wine police, seriously?!?!) anywho-your family is sooooo beautifull, and you look amazing. Everything happened just the way it was supposed to-it was a beautiful story-so don’t beat yourself over anything. You did an amazing job! We are all so proud of you and can’t wait to read future posts on your blog. You can talk about anything you want-we’ll still be here. :)

p.s. I had some wickedly crazy/nasty/AWESOME/AMAZING/painful/gross/BEAUTIFUL births as well, but I wouldn’t change a thing about either of them! I also drank wine and breastfed! So ENJOY!

Mom of 4 December 21, 2010 at 2:17 am

Modg, Gavin is sooo purrrty! Very cute. Congrats again.

vwade December 21, 2010 at 9:29 am

Congrats to the both of you guys! Gavin is gorgeous and you look awesome! We miss you at the yoga studio! Had to comment because I loved the entire birth story! Hope you are all doing wonderful!

chinamommy December 21, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Sooooooo freaked out, but…. he is BEAUTIFUL!!! Dark haired babies are ALWAYS the prettiest!! :)

Eunice December 21, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Congrats Amanda and B! I’m nowhere near ready for babies, but thank you for sharing your story and reminding women that they have options. I can’t wait to have my own baby Gavin! Don’t worry, I won’t steal your name. :)

Heather@MamaSass December 21, 2010 at 7:46 pm

I had a c too…I was scared and upset and for a long time it made me feel like I’d missed out on some magical rite of passage. But looking back, it had to happen. And hey, no tears or stretching. Woo hoo! :)
Sounds like you’re doing great. Gavin is beautiful, erm, handsome:) Enjoy!

Gina December 21, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Honey, you have a story for the books. Bless your heart. Clearly you did not understand or care to understand what I was writing to you, which was (simply) to know all of your options and to be ready for whatever may come. But, soyez donc cela.

I still wish you nothing but the best. My sarcastic personality just doesn’t come across through the internet, but whatever, I will always stand by my honesty and my opinion. Being that my particular opinion was formed by my OB dad and my two aunts that have about 65 years of teaching and delivering babies between them. Not to mention my best friend is a NA, and an amazing one to boot. She could do my epidural anytime.

I was only trying to help you from being freaked out over the birthing process and enjoy it, as I was able to.

I feel very lucky to have had so many people in my life with so much information and expertise to share with me. BUT, even with all of that info, even when I wanted my epidural (again) STAT with my 2nd..and big bummer it was too late….Luckily, being prepared with the Bradley Method of breathing, I successfully delivered her naturally and with not even a single scream. It was amazing. So, even though my 2nd baby’s birth did not go as I expected, I rolled with it and had enough knowledge to be prepared mentally for the other option. And it was another fantastic experience.

That was all I was trying to share with you! I really REALLY wished and wanted that for you too.

I just read your blog and saw you going down a tough road. I was worried and just wanted to try and help. I feel as if I was practically hung on a tree for doing so. But, as with everything in life, you cannot please everyone.

Good luck with your sweet baby and your new life as a mother. I love staying home with my two babies. Being a mom, no matter how the hell the baby arrives into your life, is a blessing and a gift from GOD.

God Bless you and your new family. And have a Merry Christmas! This time flies by so quickly, I hope you enjoy every luscious second.
La paix être avec vous toujours. J’ai rien que la paix dans mon coeur pour vous!
All my best,
gg

One Ring to Rule Them All December 22, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Hey Gina, not to “hang you on a tree”, but seriously, this isn’t about you. Or all your superfantastic birth experiences, “highly educated opinions”, and Who’s Who of relatives/friends that make you an expert on whether MODG was educated enough and offered enough opinions during her pregnancy and birth.

If you’re wishing her a happy mommyhood and future births, just do so. Don’t use your congratulatory message to tell her how right you are. AGAIN.

Feel free to flame. I’ll be over here laughing.

Las Vegas Mama December 22, 2010 at 12:54 am

Like you, I planned my Hypno birth with my 1st baby and ended with a C section. It was beyond disappointing and I wanted the cuddly bonding moment. The C was so traumatic. With my 2nd baby I tried to go with a home birth with a midwife. Being home was fab and all, but the pain was out of CONTROL. 34 hours later I was desperate for it to stop. I was taken to the hospital for my second C. Also disappointing but less so because at least I got to feel what labor was like (the 1st time was a planned C due to breach position). There were lots of disappointments and mistakes. And I blamed myself for everything, dissected all the mistakes I had made. But in the end, I had 2 healthy babies. And now that they are 2 and 4 years old, those moments were like a drop of water in the ocean of love that I get to experience as a mom. So I feel your pain on the disappointment, though I am sure you are already getting a taste of the beauty to come. :)

And btw I totally agree that you have to be your own advocate !! Very well said.

Julie and Monkey Mae December 22, 2010 at 3:49 pm

He is super dooper fabulous! And you look amazing, even strapped down “Jesus-on-the-cross-style.” I learned a lot from my labor, too, like tell the fat nurse who needs a blow out to KEEP HER HANDS OUT OF MY VAGINA! My fluid got infected from too many of those awesome checks, resulting in a 10 day NICU stay.

Congrats again! You are a beautiful little family!

Shaina December 26, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Amanda,
First of all – what a beautiful baby boy you have! He is just absolutely perfect. And thank you so much for posting your birth story in such great detail. Sometimes, things just happen and even though it may not have been your ideal birth experience, the end result is the same: a baby! You are already a beautiful, wonderful mom and it is so clear that you will be not only your own best advocate, but Gavin’s as well. Loves!

Jenn December 28, 2010 at 8:38 pm

First, your son is full of all kinds of cuteness!
Second, Thank You for sharing your story. Thank you for making it clear that all women have a choice. So many don’t realize that they can choose. You get stuck in this crap cycle of people telling you the way it should be and the way it will be, and how they did it so you should to. It is annoying! LOL It is very true that you can prepare all you want and things may not go as you planned but you still have a choice. Ultimately it comes down to what you choose is best for you and your baby.
Thank you again for sharing! You are awesome!
Best wishes to you and your family,
I am looking forward to reading your adventures as a momma!

Tamar December 29, 2010 at 6:28 pm

I never comment on blogs BUT I am 39 weeks pregnant and becoming increasingly impatient. A friend told me to read your blog and what you wrote completely calmed me down. I was going to get a membrane scrape to speed things along but I am now just going to let it happen. Thank you for sharing your experience!!!

Carol December 31, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Thank you so much for sharing all of this! I loved your honesty and I am so glad that you both are doing well! He is beautiful and can’t wait to read more about him in the future! :)

Amy at TheSceneFromMe January 2, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Just Beautiful! Simply stated.

Tia January 19, 2011 at 10:59 am

Wow – congratulations to you and your family. I know this is a little late in posting this (I was just turned on to your blog last night), but I just wanted you to know…I UNDERSTAND! We have VERY similar birth stories. I had my daughter in September…she was due on the 3rd…she came via c-section 12 days late on the 15th. I had Cervadil, and different kind of cervix treatment, induced day 1, induced day 2, Stadol, epidural, progressed all the way to pushing, pushed for two hours 15 minutes, baby Eve was stuck, and c-section it was, after 35 hours of labor. But you’re right, it’s an amazing thing, and I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat for my little girl. Thank you for sharing your story. It all came back to me so vividly…and I cried. I cried at the sheer joy that I have now from the whole experience.

sigers February 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I think I love you. I was praying that you lived in Austin and our boys would hang out and we would drink wine and bitch about how much shit girl mamas get to choose from in stores. Then we would go to the boys section, which is located under the freight elevator and select from the five craptastic outfits and leave. But alas. Anyhow, awesome blog. Great writing. Great birth story.

Here are about 3,000 comments condensed into one:

1) You are right — having a birth plan, even if it doesn’t go as planned is empowering. You knew your options. You went for it. You ate your placenta. Good for you.
2) I know Happiest Baby on the Block didn’t work for you, but it TOTALLY worked for me. I would suggest trying different combos? I didn’t carry him around CONSTANTLY. And lots of “white noise” didn’t work. Know what did? MY HAIRDRYER. ON HIGH. RIGHT NEXT TO HIS CRIB. I’M IN ALL CAPS NOW BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T HEAR SHIT IN OUR HOUSE FOR SIX MONTHS. But really, it shut Ami D up, jus like that. AMAZING.
3) I thought my baby was big. Your baby is BIG. Totally adorable, and BIG.
4) I was two weeks late. My son was two weeks late and my water never broke. He was born in a tub, inside his sac. Weird, huh?
5) I totally screwed up and tweeted by GRAPHIC birth story to my measly group of followers including my company’s interns. Oops.

Anyhow, glad I discovered your blog. Good luck with the mama-ing and fuck anybody who looks at you funny in a restaurant.

Ashley February 14, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I read your birth story posts (all 3) when you posted them, but I just came back to read them again.
They didn’t mean as much then as they do now that I am 37 weeks. I have been studying hypnobirthing, but I have really stepped up my game on it the past few weeks, and have spent a lot more time practicing on my own-not just at the classes with the instructor. Listening to the CD nightly and practicing all the techniques.
I was curious- did you try any of the other natural ways to induce labor (before the primrose and oil) that hypnobirthing recommends? My book and class may be a different method than what you used, but , For example-sex- apparently what got you pregnant in the first place can get you out of it- the semen has some hormone in it that softens the cervix naturally. Natures way of coming full circle. Or, the whole nipple stimulation and rose bud visualization? SPicy food?
I am not trying to get the labor going YET, but I was late when I was born and also 10 pounds, and I have a feeling this baby will be late (although last Friday I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, but the doc said that meant it could still be WEEKS). Just curious if you did any of those things. I was also told to try acupressure to get it started naturally, but you did that, and said you wouldn’t do that again, correct?
When you say you would have put off your interventions if you did this again- do you mean ALL?
Like you, I plan on a natural birth, so I hate that your plan didn’t go as planned. My fear this week has been that she will be breech, and they will try to make me schedule a c-section, but I already plan on having a session with the hypnobirthing lady to do some hypnosis shit on me and the baby to MAKE her turn the right way if she dares go the wrong way. I read it works in 81 out of 100 people.
Also, I have so many people saying “good luck with that natural thing” and trying to tell me c-sections are the way to go, etc. And, I was just wondering if you want to punch the people in the face that said all that and then said “told you so” after?

Jilly- J's Mom May 20, 2011 at 2:25 pm

I know G is like 5 or 6 months old now, but I just have been reading your old posts and my son Jameson was born after G, on Feb 20th, 2011, but he was exact same size! 8lbs 4oz 21 inches! Crazy! He had a massive head too. 37 cms. Ouch.

Chelle June 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm

So I am gone for seven months and you go and have a baby! Gavin is adorable!

Congrats honey!! Time for me to play some major catch up now.

xoxo

Me June 29, 2011 at 10:58 am

UNSOLICTED ADVICE, YET FOR PEACE OF MIND WARNING – I think everything happened the way it should have. If you hadn’t been in a hospital, things may not have gone so well given his position and your placenta (neither of which could’ve been caused by any intervention – it was a positional issue). Here’s to #2 being a VBAC, just the way you want it.

JulieSharp July 27, 2011 at 12:15 am

This is so much like my baby’s birth story, that I thought I was reading my own blog. I was so dead-set on going all natural and having this beautiful (painful) delivery drug-free. And I ended up with a C-section…she was right there, ready to go, but there was like a millimeter of cervix in the way, and her heart rate kept dropping and all that great stuff. She even came out with serious conehead. I second the previous comment…Here’s to #2 being a VBAC! (if there is a #2, this is still up for debate in my home)

Emily August 1, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I just happened upon your blog today and reading your birth story is like reading my own. This part made me cry, “All I ever imagined was him arriving and being placed on my chest and having that super love moment. That didn’t happen. They finally show him to me and he’s great and cute and finally pink and not blue and I’m beyond happy that he’s here and healthy, but I can’t hold him, and I can barely touch him. it just wasn’t what I hoped for.” This is terrible and I went through the same emotion.

It’s somewhat comforting (?) to know someone went through the same thing I did. My heart breaks for you as it did for me. This labor shit is for the birds. Here’s my story. http://untilthenisnow.tumblr.com/post/7279635147/the-day-my-life-changed

Tamsyn August 5, 2011 at 2:21 am

It was incredibly refreshing to read someone with a nearly identical birth story. I chose to be induced which led to three days of hell and an emergency c-section. My daughter was “stuck” as well. A day doesn’t go by that I question every decision and action made that week. Can’t help it – mommy guilt is here to stay. Seriously, I just can’t say enough how nice it is to read your birth story. I just found your blog via a friend. I’m a new reader. Love you!

Shannon M August 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I’m your newest fan! (I just accidently typed faT….hopefully not a Freudian slip) Congrats on the birth of your first baby! My second baby was much like you described, with one intervention after another. With the two babies after that, it was so different. I chose homebirth instead, hoping to avoid the snowball I knew I’d find in the hospital. Congrats, again! I wish you & your family all the best!

P.S. I’m a big fan of your snark. (less the F-bombs) haha

Courtney August 9, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Well, I just found you today via your FAMOUS breastfeeding post (LOVE). And now I just read your birth story and even though I just “met” you today, and you haven’t “met” me, I want to give you a hug.

I had a difficult first labor and delivery as well. My son will be 8 months old on Monday, and to this day, I can’t read my birth story without feeling sick to my stomach. I allowed others to make the decisions for me regarding my labor and delivery. I thought I was well-prepared, but towards the end, I was SO ready for the pregnancy to be over. I know now that for my next pregnancy I will need to be more patient and stubborn, and allow for labor to begin on its own. I guess I’m not even writing this out for anyone except myself, because I need to believe it. Thank you for sharing your story!

Katie Cunnar September 20, 2011 at 10:18 pm

I’m just getting on board, or addicted I should say, to your blog. It’s absolutely inspired, so honest, and most importantly extremely funny. I’m also partial especially now that I read your birth story. I have a baby Gavin, born on Dec 9 2010! He was also born by C/X, but not quite so dramatic as your baby. My little guy just ran out of fluid and I hadn’t dilated AT ALL, so I had to have a repeat (my daughter who is 3 was breech). Thanks Thanks!!

Katie Holmes February 3, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I know this is super past due, but i have just not gotten caught up on ur blog. The hubs decided to cut back on the spending and we have been without dvr and internet…..after a mild panic attack and several attemps on his life, we are good now. :) Anywho…I just really wanted to take a minute and say congrats! Thats a beautiful baby boy and the storys keep the real women grounded while the fakers start to cry because you have exposed all the secrets of being a woman. Love it!!

P.S. Suri says hi ;-)

Katie Holmes February 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm

that was suppose to say that i have *just now* gotten caught up on ur blog…ugh

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