I'm funny

WANTED: A MODG blog assistant/intern/slave/bitch.

November 21, 2010

Looking for a free slave help.

I’m going to do it. I’ve decided. But I’m going to do it tastefully, not in your face and only if it looks nice. I’m going to start selling ad space on MODG. I KNOW. Hear me out. My maternity leave starts Dec 1st. Let’s just say my compensation while on leave may as well be in cereal marshmallows. Which isn’t horrible. But Sephora doesn’t accept them. I checked.  So I need to get crafty. But the kicker is, I’m a dim bulb when it comes to this stuff. So I’m looking for someone who can help me. Here are my qualifications:

1) Must be able to explain 9th grade level technology and money smarts at a 2nd grade level

2) Must have a blog in WordPress with current advertising, bringing in revenue

3) Must think I’m a hilarious and important part of your life

4) Must know some HTML to be able to work with my current and awesome blog design

5) Must work for free. Well, I’m talk about you and your blog on MODG a lot. So don’t screw it up.

6) Whatever I need, whenever I need it you say: “Right on top of that Rose!”

Sounds like your dream job right?? Please apply at modgblog (at) gmail (dot) com and tell me why you can help me and how I will have some money to buy living supplies like my really nice shampoo and conditioner again.

Professional Hearts,


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  • ~KS November 21, 2010 at 9:22 am

    So… I probably don’t qualify, because I don’t have Word Press. BUT, a few random people actually emailed me recently wanted to advertise on my blog (have no idea why but moving right along). I almost bit, but decided I just wasn’t ready for that. BUT, I did email a friend of mine who is a super blogger and has been advertising on her blog for years. My main question was price: I didn’t want to sound crazy when I responded to people. demanding $100s a month if that was crazy, but I realized I didn’t have any idea what was reasonable in bloggie world for adds. SO… she told me to go absolutely no less than $30/month. No less. Ever. You have twice the readers I do, though, so $60/month is probably right on. Also, I quickly learned that some people will want to run a block ad for 6 months at a time; in that case, you give them a “discount” on the fee. So if 6 months would normally be $360… you could knock it down to $300 (or whatever you decide). Encourages them to book for longer. Then you’ll have to decide if you want text ads or banners. I think it’s just a visual preference, but I found that advertisers do expect to pay a different rate depending on which type of ad they choose.
    And that’s pretty much all I can offer.

    • Miranda November 21, 2010 at 10:22 am

      I kind of disagree with this. The amount you can charge advertisers for space on your blog depends on how many active readers you have. MODG could probably charge $60/month easily based on her blog traffic, but to say that no one should ever charge less than $30 a month means plenty of people aren’t getting advertisers. People aren’t going to pay wads of cash if they won’t have any traffic from the ad, you know?

  • Ava November 21, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Hey MODG, I sell online advertising for a living – if you want some tips on rates and packages, let me know. Selling banners on your site will be a good way to bring in a little bit of extra revenue, but the real money will be in sponsorships and product testing (ie. someone sends you a bag of rainbow marshmallows and you eat them and love them and talk about them – people actually pay people for that stuff, it’s amazing). You will feel like you are selling your soul (and you are a bit), but its all worth it when you reach into your brand new Gucci and pull out wads of cash. Email me at imababymonster (at) gmail (dot) com if you want to talk about high rollin’ in the world of online ad sales.

  • Lane November 22, 2010 at 3:32 am

    So I don’t know a lot about blog advertising but I do need to get elbows deep into it quite soon. I don’t know if you’re internet buddies with Deb at Smitten Kitchen, but I get the impression she isn’t hard to get ahold of. She has some tasteful ads on her blog that have never bothered my blog experience before. I would suggest shooting some questions her way if you don’t see much help here.

    I hope it works out! Have a good day!

  • Becky Mochaface November 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    I am so not qualified to be your blog assistant/intern/slave/bitch but dude, mad props for the throwback to Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. I LOVED that movie.

  • Andrea November 22, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    I also don’t know shit about this topic,but…..I just want you to know I give you my full approval to do this, modg and plank need to eat, so I give you my blessing (as if you needed it)! Carry on…. :)

  • Karena November 22, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    My 5 year old son knows more about this than me. That being said, I 100% approve and just wish I 1. Had a blog of my own, 2. Was witty enough for people to like reading said blog, and 3. Could make money off of being awesome. I will leave that up to you and look on in awe.

  • Mom and Dem November 22, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    As long as you do a lot of those ads that pop up and take up the whole entire page. Then make the exit button super small and hidden so I can’t find it. I love it when places have ads like that. Also, make sure there is lots of music and/or animation of dancing babies. Just my 2 cents.

  • Megan November 23, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Am I mistaken or was that a Christina Applegate quote from the fabulous film “don’t tell mom the babysitter is dead”??? – love it!!!
    Can’t help you with any of that other stuff though 😉

  • Becster September 9, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Love, love, love the Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead reference! I was so obsessed with that movie, especially the part when she holds the fashion show in her backyard with all the amazing neon outfits. I totally wanted to be her.