Mommas, Style, Toilets

Kim Kardashian is going to be pissed about this. Score another one for the hippies and my toilet.

September 3, 2010

Raise your hand if you were around when Kim Kardashian hypnotized me into giving her 39 dollars a month to look like a tranny on a budget? Ok it wasn’t THAT long ago. But seriously, more of you should have told me what an asshole I was about that. I haven’t worn ONE of those pairs of shoes like ever. Well ok one I kind of wear but not really. They all are cheap and they hurt. But those were the days, weren’t they? 4.5 inch platforms without swelling or veins popping out of my skin. 23 lbs lighter with a sparkle in my step. In case you forget those times, here’s a nice flashback for you to say awwww, MODG. You used to be cool:

The shoes that started it all. Seriously, never wore out of the house.

Things got hot pink. These shoes basically cut my toes off with razors built on the inside.

And then things got crazy with the danger pose. NO ONE COULD STOP ME.

MAN. How quickly things change.

If you are a MODG fan on facebook you probably heard the rumblings of a rumor that I purchased a pair of…(I can’t even say it)…CROCS. ;lakjsdf;lkajsdf!!alksdjf

And I’m here to actually, confirm that rumor. I know you are so incredibly disgusted I can hear your yuck face from here. Especially since I crucified B for wanting a pair of the c-word. Stay with me though. I know what you’re picturing. I’m not even going to dignify that visual image in your head with an actual image on this blog. Because I have a general rule about shoes that if you can buy them in your local Hallmark, they can not come home to live in my closet. HOWEVER…I heard a sick little rumor myself about crocs.

I heard that they are now carrying HEELS. And normally I would still blow that shit off. But let me tell you, my feet were all, MODG, we HAAAATE you. We are going to blow up and you will look like Kirstie Alley from the knee down and even your flats will hurt because they will squeeze the pus and guts out of your feet and we will kill you every day. And they were winning. My feet couldn’t even dream of getting in a heel. Remember, I’m pushing 5’2”. Heels are like my undereye concealer and a thong. a MUST have before leaving the house.

So I went over to the darkside. I took a deep breath and typed in And I found them. Hmm. They aren’t awful. The color is ok. And they are super sale. I’m going to DO IT. And I ordered the Crocs. I did it. And let me tell you, they came from straight up hippie-ville and delivered to my house on donkey back because they took like 3 weeks to come. But here they are.


Oh yeah…you may notice some changes in my toilet pictures:

Ok I know they aren’t hot pink tranny suede platforms but please remember my life and my needs. I’m doing my best. In case you’re a dim bulb, I’ve pointed out the specific changes in my toilet pictures. Like how very much this is NOT my danger pose anymore.

When your toilet pics change this much, you know your life is barely recongnizable.

So I will tell you that they ARE comfortable and especially with jeans they ARE cute and you would never know that they are the C word. Not that C word….the worse one. If you want to check them out for yourself they are here. Also you should know that I got boat loads of compliments on them and my super stylish hair stylist friend bought them in brown AND black. So before you judge…well…ok fine judge. I know you will anyway.

PS. I feel like you think that B only owns wife beaters and penn state shorts. Join the club.

You Might Also Like

  • Beckles September 3, 2010 at 8:10 am

    Thank you for not buying garden shoes and putting sparklies on them to make them “fancy” and “acceptable”.

    I love that B is your spotter. Are there also pillows around the toilet just in case?

  • Courtney September 3, 2010 at 8:22 am

    I think they’re cute! Are they comfy? My husband always asks me to wear heels. I am not short (5’7″), but my husband is a giant (6’5″) so he wants me to be closer to his height. But heels always hurt my feet! I need ones that don’t kill!

  • Natalie September 3, 2010 at 8:25 am

    Those really are cute. Love the new toilet pics too!

  • Shannon September 3, 2010 at 8:27 am

    I love how B seems to be staring at your shoes… I can hear him whining, “Nooooo fair! MODG got Crocs… I want Crocs!! Pleeeeeease can I have some? PLEASE?!?!”

  • Katie September 3, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Ok so
    1. I love the shoes.
    2. I’m ordering a pair as we speak so they better be as ab fab as you say they are.
    and C. I think the toilet pics with B are adorable to boot….he looks very protective and like he plays penn state basketball.

  • knitwit September 3, 2010 at 8:28 am

    First you talk me into getting a cat (he stinks like ass) and now I’m about to buy a pair of crocs to make my insane life more bearable. I hate you. Hugs and kisses.

  • Rachel September 3, 2010 at 8:31 am

    It’s OK MODG. Desperate times call for desperate measures, or something. They look good! Not at all hippie-gardener-granny, more… um, I don’t know what the opposite of that is, exactly.
    PS: photo of a special Target find coming your way. I feel like the universe is trying to send a sign.

  • jules September 3, 2010 at 8:37 am

    I am freaking dying that B is being so cute and making sure you do not fall. These crocs are acceptable. But all that aside, don’t you worry. You will be back in tranny shoes in no time. NO TIME!

  • Erin September 3, 2010 at 8:38 am

    AHHH CROCS! I’ve always been so against them…but when the hell did they get *gasp* CUTE?!

  • TheRandomBlogette September 3, 2010 at 8:49 am

    They actually don’t look too bad. I may have to check them out! I love how B is helping you so that you can’t fall.

  • kelly September 3, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Love the C word shoes!! They are super cute and I think I need a pair now!

  • Beth September 3, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Love this post! I will be ordering the Croc heels as well!!

  • PeaceLoveTerri September 3, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Did you keep the boxes, etc for your ShoeDaz shoes? You can return them and they’ll give you credit. They’re now offering purses and jewelry. The jewelry always seems to suck but I got a really cute bag last month. Worth a shot..

    I’m also a fellow Croc HATER! I let my toddler son wear them but NEVER my daughter, and NEVER myself. Crocs are just not adults, like at all. But I’m loving these! Great score! 😉

    • PeaceLoveTerri September 3, 2010 at 10:36 am

      PS. Do they run true to size? I’m considering the black pair.

  • zak September 3, 2010 at 10:50 am

    I have the Croc wedges and I work in the Saffron.

    I’m super proud of you for being a responsible pregnant hippie and swallowing your shoe pride and doing the right thing for your cankles.

  • chinamommy September 3, 2010 at 11:28 am

    sorry… no can do!
    are they rubber painted to look like leather?

  • Teisha September 3, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Ugh, don’t even get me started on ‘Kim’s super secret way to kill everybody’s feet so I can reign over everybody and be the hottest curvy size 2 (YEH RIGHT) that ever walked the planet in Louboutin’s because even I can’t wear that shit’ I’ve had a credit there for like 6 months that I just can’t find anything worth redeeming it on. Sigh. Good for you for finding a comfy-ish pair of heels that will get you through the rest of the pg.

  • Meli September 3, 2010 at 11:44 am

    you really are too cute. So is B. prrrrrr………ha! kidding. (not really)

  • Faith September 3, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Hilarious post! I actually think your crocs are kinda cute!

  • SGM September 3, 2010 at 11:56 am

    We need a close-up! Are they made of rubber? I DO NOT LIKE THIS. But I get it. I wore Born mules (!) in the last months of my pregnancy and at the time I thought they were so cute. Such a cute pg lady in her black born mules! Obvs, they were disgusting. Your cr…I can’t even say it….your shoes look better than my mules. I’ll give you that, sister.

    B making sure you don’t fall off the toilet? PRECIOUS.

  • Rebekah September 3, 2010 at 11:58 am

    The shoes are adorable, and you’re still really cute — you only look pregnant on your belly.

  • Heather@MamaSass September 3, 2010 at 11:58 am

    I love that B is assisting in the toilet photo! Sweet.

  • Karena September 3, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    I hate you. I now want the C word in 2 different colors and more than one different style and I am going to spend my entire bonus check on them this month and I hate you. Oh, and you still look cute as ever pregnant. Another reason to hate. But I still love.

  • Lisbeth September 3, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Sorry still can’t accept it. I realize they are actually decent and I would even go so far as to say cute but I am still hung up on the fact that they are C-word brand. And I am usually totally not a brand snob but for some reason my insense loathing for all thing, ugh gasp…Crocs, just wont let me accept it. Probably because even if you buy the cute ones you are still giving this company money to a make a profit and go out and make more of those god awful ugly attrocities that I dont even want to picture. Try Sofft brand or Seyshelles or Poetic License, super comfortable and I might be able to forget about this. :) Ok I still love ya anyway but please look at these as an alternative dont help the ugliness live on.

  • Christina Harper September 3, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Those actually are cute shoes… tragic as that statement is.

    But I miss the tranny shoes days in danger poses on your toilet. :(

  • Paula September 3, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    This is going to sound a bit strange undoubtedly, but I would like to steal your legs.

    Not for any strange purposes, I just want to replace mine with yours.

  • September 3, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Does planning a wedding make you hormonal? Because seeing B hold you up on the toilet kind of made me cry. What is WRONG with me

  • Becky September 3, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    The *cringe* C-C-CR-CR-CROCs are cute, but I still love me the hot pink suede tranny shoes. I have a pair of hot pink leather slut shoes that I love love love.
    So, um, *ahem* what are you planning to do with the tranny shoes? Just asking for a friend. *ahem*

  • Sugar Bostick September 3, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Super cute. And the shoes are too! Really sorry if my comments offended you yesterday! Sending you extra puffy sparkle hugs! xxoo

  • Breagha Marie September 3, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Forget the shoes, can I have a B? A big guy protecting his preggo little lady. That is SO effin hot.

    I’m sorry I’m just not digging the shoes. But apparently if MODG says they’re cute, all the women will buy them. That is a cool effect. I do love the tranny shoes though. THOSE I would buy. The shoes on toilet posts were my fave I think.

    • Breagha Marie September 3, 2010 at 7:04 pm

      Also, my ex had a pair of his college shorts that he NEVER took off. I thought he had like seven pairs for each day of the week, but turns out he just had one. That he never washed. And he was a super dirty boy who played with lotsa women. GROSS. So again, I want a B! :)

  • Apocalypstick September 3, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Those hot pink shoes are DAZZLING.

  • Kimberly September 3, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    Those are actually cute!

  • Cait* September 4, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Why is B’s wedding band on his right hand?

  • Lil' Woman September 6, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I wasn’t sure about them at first but seeing them on they look way better. I also think it’s hilarious that B participates in your hijinks and is your toilet standing spotter.

  • Puja September 8, 2010 at 8:20 am

    MODG, I’m pretty new to your blog and think it’s hilarious! I’m a little confused about the toilet pics though. I gather you’ve done this before… is it because standing on your toilet is the perfect height to get shots of your shoes for wherever you rest your camera? Anyway, the toilet adds a something special to your pics 😉

  • Becky Mochaface September 8, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Ok, they’re not completely hideous. Though they look cute on you (and I reserve the right to retract the last half of this statement later…) I don’t really see myself buying and wearing them.

    And Yay for the return of toilet pics!

  • You ugly. You you you uggly. October 18, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    […] here. Little did I know what I was signing up for.Remember when I said I hated Crocs and then I got these? This is like that but worse. I swore I’d never wear Uggs. I mean it says it in the name […]