I’ll be honest. The leg comments from last month’s shoe feature creeped me out. You all made me want to put my face under a pillow and hide in a well stocked closet. I mean… This week I covered the stems as to avoid your creepiness. So, here we are at shoe selection 3 from Shoe Dazzle. For the newbies, I joined Kim Kardashian’s weird shoe club. I pay 39 dollars a month and I pick shoes after she picks like 5 for me based on my sparkle personality and then, she sends them to me and I own them free and clear. Well, 39 dollar free. So far so good. We at MODG have been pleased with the shoes KK has sent. This week I’m not so sure.
Ok here’s the deal. I was all…I’m not getting shoes this month. I’m super economical thrifty girl and I don’t need them. THEN I open my InStyle and there they are, staring at my needy face. Shit. I need them. So that trick ho got me again. Kim. Enough is enough.
So here they are friends. Meet the camel bootie:
So at first I was all, this is the hotness. I can wear them with jeans, with cute skirts, with socks with everything and I can pretty much rule the world. They are a good neutral color and overall not offending my face.
So I try them on. Newbies: My only full length mirror capability is when I stand on the toilet **shame** but also **pride**
Then I was like. Wait. Hold the phone. Does this look like what I think it does??
shitshitshit. You weren’t thinking I was a ghetto superstar before but now you totally are! This is so 1998 Aliyah-beyonce-lefteye. NOT happening. What do I do? Is this in my head? Am I over reacting? Do I hit Kim K over the head with a grill pan?
I’m really not looking to add any sort of urban flare to my wardrobe. Maybe a little more Gwen Stefani Kat Von D and less/none of
I’m turnin the city morgue to a deli
Was in the belly of the beast now the beast is in my belly
I gotta get up more loot
Time to throw back on the army suits and Timberland boots (!!)
Yeah I don’t really know what that is from. I just googled timberland boots and rap lyrics and came up with 30 thousand hits. Exactly.
So tell me, am I seeing these wrong? Is there more potential than I’m letting shine through? Has Kimmy screwed me over?