No, this has not turned into shoeblogforlosers.com. I am simply following through on a promise to review Kim Kardashian’s shoe styling website, services and product. For those of you unaware, Kim started a website where you pay 30 some bucks a month, you tell her that you like roses and raindrops and looking like Nicole Richie and she and her gay friends send you shoes that they think you’ll like. Here was the process for real.
I joined. Wohoo! You do have to give Kim your credit card info up front but she promises not to buy calendars of herself with your money. You then answer a questionnaire about what shoes you like, celebs you like and overall style. This was my fave part because I like stuff about me. The agreement with Kim is this: Every month she sends you 5 pictures of shoes that her and her lame-o stylist friends (i.e. a computer application) pick out. If you like one, great, you get them. If you hate them you can either click ‘no thanks not this month’ and pay nothing OR select a 2nd set of 5 shoes to choose from. So here is what happened.
I am not patient. I waited and waited and waited for my pictures of my 5 shoes. It took like 3 days. I got them. I hate them. Not only do I hate them, they are all sandals. Like FLIP FLOPS. I was all “oh no you didn’t Kim”. So not ready to give up, I select, “send me 5 new shoes”. With that you fill out a new little questionnaire about where they f’d up. This is what I said word for word.
“Excuse me Kim. Hi. I live in Philadelphia. It’s November. NOVEMBER. No flip flops. How about some boots or pumps in a nice suede. Thanks.”
From there I waited, and waited. They SAY this part takes so long because the stylists review each entry one by one. Please. Anyway, I will say, the next round they got it right. I had 5 really good choices and tada, I chose these! Let’s get these bad boys shipped. So at this point you are charged and your shoes are on the way to keep forever and ever.
Ship time. I waited and waited again. By now, this whole process has taken about 1 full month. NOT fast. I thought Kim knew a thing or two about fast and easy but I guess not.
They arrive! Ok you know this is one of my pet peeves. HUSBAND SHIPPING SHOWCASE. Don’t these retailers know this is a cardinal sin of shipping? We don’t want the husbands to see it! PS welcome to my closet.
Ok, let’s open this bad boy up. Ok pink. I like pink. I like purple. Oooh a shoe bag, nice touch. What’s that you say? A FREE gift? Ok I’ll take it. It’s one of those purse hangy things for the table. Eh, ok maybe. Merchandising and packaging, you got me.
+ 4 points
Ok let’s examine these bitches. Looks good. Suede is nice, stitching looks solid. So far so hot. Presentation +5
Time to leave the closet and go to where all the fashion magic happens. The bathroom. Yes that’s right we can afford shoes and sparkle clothes, but not full length mirrors in the MODG house. Not only will we be in the bathroom, we’ll be on the toilet.
Try and focus on the shoes and not the old hairspray and toilet brush. So, one thing we can all agree on is that I’m an excellent shoe model. Look at those angles? You also can get a glimpse of my rolled up PJ pants. Hot. So I really do like the shoes. They are interesting, comfortable, sturdy and a good heel height for all 5’2” of me. Let’s try something else…Hold your f-ing hats.
Is that a JCrew foot model? Here is my inspiration
. No it’s just awesome me on a toilet in socks. But in an ode to Jcrew, I did it. No they aren’t gym socks. They are thin and spandexy and you know what? I kind of like it. Am I blowing your mind right now? I’m thinking little skirt and blazer.
Versatility + 3
So here they are. A new friend to my other children. Now I know they are no Loubs, but for trendy stupid shoes? Perfect. I heart them. But I will say that I just got my shoe pick again for December and I’m NOT pleased. I asked for 5 new choices. We’ll see how that goes.
But overall, we ended up with like a million positive points. (I don’t do math) so I would say, success!