I'm funny

Dear Britney, we love you. Love everyone.

August 31, 2009

Last night I did what I’m sure, all approaching 30 women did. I was at the Britney Spears concert. There is something about our girl Britney that really gets my gut. She can show her vag, act like farm trash, and use and umbrella as a weapon and I’ll still love her. So of course to celebrate Britney’s visit to our great city, we didn’t just attend the concert, we commemorated her finer moments via costume.

Our friend LK was our favorite Britney ever. Note that LK defies human proportions and is the approximate weight and size of a Skipper doll. So LK got to be the hot stripper Britney circa –herbestmomentever– MTV VMA’s “oops I did it again” Britney, pre sparkle naked suit. When I saw this for the first time (there have been 400 times since) I really think it was like when kids first saw a man walk on the moon. I knew that this was history making.

L was dressed as showyourvag Britney. This is the first time Britney spread it for the pap’s. We all agreed that L kind of looked more like a combination of Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta with a the charm and elegance of C class stripper.

I thought I was the hotness for 2 seconds with my pink wig circa Halloween 2008, black dress and starbucks cup. Note that my wig was supposed to be punk rock star like for that Halloween. I realized about halfway through the night it actually resembled Kate Gosselin’s hair and this was not a good thing. I felt like a 40 year old mom with 8 asian kids at home who sometimes works at the trashy hair salon down the street who got bored one day with the pink dye.

Imagine the 3 of us walking down the streets of Philadelphia with 5 miller light cans in our purses seeking Amy. It was a streetwalking show, that was for sure.
We arrive at a tailgate my friend from college threw. Note that she is one of the craziest people I know. She was my college roommate as we were the only ones who found humor in capes and aliens in tri-delta. No surprise she now manages about 30 young, skinny hot girls and her job is to throw parties, tell them what to do and have them worship/fear her. Basically her job is to be a continuous Senior in a sorority. Jealous.
She first tells me how excited she is for Britney and that she asked a pancake on the road this morning if he had seen her yet. Yep, that’s what she said. Actually, she corrected herself and said that it was really a hamburger. He said that he has not seen her.

After 3 beers through the straw of my starbucks cup, feeling the sads about looking like a middle aged punk mom…not feeling better about it with the 21 year olds around, we were ready for some Brit.
Can I tell you, she is just as amazing as ever. We, 3 mature…ok, 3 women, all were standing there, jaws dropped, wishing we were Britney. For real. But as L so wisely put it, if you came to the concert saying “man, I can’t wait to hear Britney really sing some songs”, you would be wildly disappointed. But if you wanted to see some dancing (L signed up for hip-hop a few hours after the show), this was the place to be.
So for all of you who said “Really? You really like Britney Spears??” Yes. I really, really REALLY like Britney Spears.
Please share your feelings for Britney in the comments below.

PS I would like to note that Friday’s poop post was the most read post in the history of this blog. By more than double. This means you love poop. And this means I love you. Also I would like to thank you for some of the best comments ever received on this blog as a result of poop.

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  • Dollface August 31, 2009 at 10:35 am

    I saw Brit back in March and loved her even though she wasnt up to par. I heard she got better this time around. Love your post, haha xxxooo

  • Anonymous August 31, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Never been to a brit concert – should have gone last night. but i totally agree — Do Not expect singing, it is an amazing performance, dancing, props and Cirque De Sole acts. Way to bring it back full force britney. And it is crazy that as trashy and bad she can be… we still love her.

  • Kate August 31, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Brit-Brit (as her close personal friends call her) never fails to make me shake my money maker… which can be awkward in the car but fun nonetheless. I actually asked Evs if we could postpone our honeymoon a week so I could attend her first Dallas concert… sadly, the Mr. was not on board with this plot.

  • Luz August 31, 2009 at 10:59 am

    My BFF (age 30) and I (29 this week) are in LOVE with Britnew. She can do no wrong in our eyes. Yes, she married a loser, flashed her vag, and got committed, but WE ALL GO THROUGH SHIT, don't we?

  • Kaitlin August 31, 2009 at 11:12 am

    No matter what this woman does I still love her. I missed the concert last night due to a baby shower. I realize I have failed as a true fan and I can only hope Brit will forgive me. Tonight I will wear a bikini and have a dance party in her honor.

  • sarah August 31, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Okay, first off, keep your pants on. A post is coming. I may or may not be hung over after a lively Sunday Funday and am needing to take a little longer to gear up this morning.

    Secondly (is this really a word or did my brain make it up?), I am secretly very jealous of your weekend adventure to see my BFF Brit. Were you guys the ones who got kicked out of the concert for dancing too provocatively in the audience? (You can be honest here)

    I'll be honest, I am not even mad at Brit for the fact that she sometimes almost always forgets to wear bras…I mean who doesn't do this?…because girl CAN DANCE.

    (Look at how short I kept it today! New post is up just for you!)

  • Chelsea August 31, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Ha. Funny.

    I'm a closet Brittney fan. I like her music but usually change it if there are multiple people in the car. And I'd never actually buy a ticket to her concert. Although I've heard it's amazing and I'm sort of jealous of all the people who have been there and I have not..

  • sarah August 31, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    OMG. I completely forgot to mention the jogging pancake. Horrifying.

  • *jean* August 31, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    i'm a little older and my favorite was madonna….awesome concert back in the 80's that we dressed up for….big hair, lots of rhinestones, smokin' shoes…ahhh good times…

  • Michelle August 31, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    That sounds like a blast! I have never seen Britney in concert for fear of being disappointed. She can't “sing” that well live but I never thought about the dancing or whole experience of it. Very intruiging.

  • Elizabeth Marie August 31, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Britney is totes my BFF, she's just so busy we haven't hung out in awhile…

    I LOVE HER!!!!! SO jealous you saw her…all my girls and all my gays have gone, but I was sick as a dog when she was in town.

    that is one fierce you know what. Keeps on keepin on, I LOVE IT!

  • The Blonde Duck August 31, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Did she dance? I read some article about her show that said she didn't dance.

    I do love her, though.

  • Cupcakes with Nic August 31, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    I admit I have far too many songs on my iPod that are by Britney. And the other day, while riding in the car with the boy, I sang along to one of those songs. He looked at me like I had three heads. I just quickly changed the station and subject, secretly wishing he weren't in the car so that I could finish singing the song.

    Glad you had a great time!!!

  • carey August 31, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Getting Britney to come to Australia and perform for Sydney and me is my Prerogative. I'm completely jealous.

  • Jennifer September 1, 2009 at 12:18 am

    you crack me up! love your post on Brit Brit. love her even though she's a hot mess most of the time! loving your site!

  • Kristin September 1, 2009 at 3:48 am

    Poor Britney. I haven't quite given up on her yet.

  • sarah September 1, 2009 at 9:20 am

    It's your turn…where's your post for today, friend?

  • Thomas Santella September 1, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Thought I would pass along this link to a short version of one of my favorite essays by Chuck Klosterman (awesome writer). It's based on his interview with Britney. Thought you might enjoy it. My favorite line….

    “And suddenly something becomes painfully clear: Either Britney Spears is the least self-aware person I've ever met, or she's way, way savvier than any of us realize.”


  • jules September 1, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    I love Brit too. I ALWAYS will. Kudos for you for dressing in style and hiding those beers in your pursing while seeking Amy. That. Is. Awesome!

  • bhappy526 January 31, 2010 at 9:44 am

    I'm 45 and I love Brit. I think she went through some tough times (kicking a loser to the curb, detoxing some drugs, losing her kids) but over all she didn't give up. She put in the time and work and is back on top. She's as gorgeous as ever and has her moves back.
    I love your posts. Don't worry about thinking you look like a 40 something, just imagine how great you look, like you're a 40+ y/o that looks like a 30+ y/o.
    Have fun kiddo. It only gets better!